Shitsuren
by EverlastingxSong
Summary: Even though my fate was sealed, and even though I knew that eventually everything would crumble into dust, turning it all into something nothing more than worthless, I came to a realization that shattered my world; he was my saviour. ShikixOC
1. Cross Academy

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight whatsoever.  
**

**A / N :  
**

Um, hellos~! xD This is going to be my first fanfiction--or well, first fanfiction that I've posted up onto the internet. I've always loved to write, and I visit this site practically every day... Hopefully, I kept all the characters in cahracter, or at least not make them _too_ OOC. I tried my best, really! I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that this isn't horrible.

Er... This story will be a **ShikixOC** fanfiction, because I totally love Shiki x3 I love most, if nto all, characters of Vampire Knight, actually... But that's not the point xD Even though it's not a Canon x Canon story, I hope that people will give this ShikixOC story a chance. But, I'll stop talking. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous and that's kinda what I'm doing but I don't really know if I can stop. Okay, er... I'll just shut up and let you read the chapter -smiles sheepishly-

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**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER O_N_E :**

_"Cross Academy."_

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DAY ONE.

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Didn't Kaien age even the slightest since I last saw him?

I blinked at him as he danced around the room, trying to imitate the gracefulness of a butterfly. His face would be surrounded by large sparkles if we were in anime or something, and he had tears streaming down his face like someone had just kicked his dog in the face. The loud sniffs that came from him were probably to emphasize the overdramatic tears of our reunion.

"Ri-chan!" He exclaimed, bounding over to me and wrapping his arms around me. "I've missed you so much! How could you have been gone for so long and not decide to pay me a visit at all?! How come you never wrote me any letters or called me?" He wailed, squeezing me so tight I think my bones would break soon.

I stared at him blankly, no emotion on my face whatsoever as he attempted to squeeze my guts out of my mouth.

Yuuki laughed sheepishly in the corner of Kaien's office, next to Zero who didn't even look like he was listening. If I didn't know Zero any better, I would've thought that he was sleeping while standing up or something. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew how to do that, though.

Kaien let me go, deciding it was okay to let me live. He sniffed and wiped his tears with the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm so happy to see you again, Ri-chan. You're finally back to where you belong—in my arms!"

I shifted slightly, and picked up a strand of my long, ruler-straight obsidian hair, twirling it in my hands absentmindedly as I tuned out his excited welcome. It's been four years since I've been here at Cross Academy. Four years… I wonder if I still remember everything—of course, while Yuuki and Zero took me to my dorm, they explained (More like Yuuki did all the talking whereas Zero merely insulted me) a lot of the stuff. Like about prefects, the Night Class students, the Day Class students, and all the rules and whatnot.

You could hear the capitals when everyone said "night class."

"…ile, why don't you just call me 'Daddy' so that everyone knows the close bond we share with one another?" Kaien requested enthusiastically, snapping me out of my trance. I looked at him blankly, like I thought he was some sort of freak—and he's not. He's just very… "_Wow,"_ if you know what I mean. His enthusiastic, happy attitude might just be fake, but even so, he "acts" it very well. Though his excitement might be overbearing sometimes, you get used to it.

"I'm not your daughter." I didn't mean to sound rude, but really. When you word it like that, and add in a voice speaking in monotone, you kinda get the impression that it's, I don't know… Impolite?

He pressed the pads of his two forefingers together, and pouted innocently, his eyes widening like he wanted to give me the puppy-dog eyes. His voice was slightly childish and very innocent as he murmured, "You're too much like Kiryuu-kun, always minding small details…"

I turned my head slightly to look at Zero, who scowled.

Isn't Zero _technically_ Kaien's adopted son? It wouldn't really be that weird if Zero called Kaien "Daddy," but Zero's… Zero. He's too much of a stubborn-headed, anti-social butthead to call someone like Kaien his dad. But even so, it's obvious that the two care for each other—it's actually kind of cute, the bond they have.

Kaien's eyes, which were beautiful, and yet strange because of the colour, landed on what I had around my neck. It's not like I had some tattoo or piercing on my neck—was it possible to get piercings on your neck? I don't know, but anyways—but I _did_ have a thick, silk ribbon wrapped around my neck once. I had tied a bow more to the right side than the middle, so it was sort of slanted. The ends of the bow extended down to my waist. The ribbon itself was two colours—it was coal black and slowly faded to a pure-white in the middle, so the ribbon, as well as the ends, were a mix between black and white.

He looked into my eyes. "Is that…?"

My lips twitched into a non-existent grimace, but I nodded my head once in a stiff manner. "Yes," I told him blandly, noticing when his face perked up and his face shine. His eyes gleamed and twinkled like someone had just sprinkled a ton of sparkles in them.

"This is perfect, Ri-chan! So, so perfect, you have the _best_ timing~!" He exclaimed, swaying around and continuing his "Dance of the Butterfly" thing, or so he calls it. The three of us—Zero, Yuuki, and I—just watched him blankly as he twirled here and there around the room, bumping into things. He crashed into his shiny, oak desk—for some reason, it was taped vertically right down the middle—and stumbled before he not-so-gracefully began to dance around the room again.

I turned and looked at Yuuki dully, like I was silently asking her when he was going to stop dancing around. She looked at me with an apologetic smile, as if she was saying he won't stop for a while.

After a few more seconds of watching him dance around, my eyes wandered around the room. It was like your normal office—neat, tidy, organized. The walls were a pale, but pretty shade of green or green-grey, and he had a large glass window behind his desk. There were bookshelves here and there and a few filing cabinets—you know, just the typical office kind of thing.

"Ri-chan, do you mind doing me a tiny, tiny favor?" Kaien asked, looking at me innocently and batting his eyelashes like it would make me swoon or something.

My eyes instantly became guarded and wary as I stared at the man before me. "It depends," I stated nonchalantly, analyzing his face. I've learned from experience that though Kaien's favors are never exceedingly difficult or impossible, his favors are those that seem harmless at first, but can completely mess up your life later on. His "favors" can change your life for the better or for the worst—I suppose it just depends on your actions. And that's why I'm always suspicious when he asks me for favors.

He grinned, excited. "Become a prefect with Yuuki and Kiryuu-kun~!" He sang.

I looked away from his grinning face, and asked a question I already knew the answer to. "Why me?" My voice was uncaring.

"Why, it's because you know the whole truth about vampires, Ri-chan! Do you think I can drag in an innocent student here and fry their brain out by telling them that vampires, who they think are mythical creatures, exist and currently walking amongst them every day? Oh, no, no! I will not do that to my poor innocent students!" Kaien exclaimed, his eyes hopeful.

"Chairma—Daddy! It's Riku's first day back, don't make her do something like being a prefect right away!" Yuuki protested on my behalf, obviously thinking about how I would feel about this whole thing.

Kaien grimaced at me and pushed his face closer to mine, his eyes accusing. "Ri-chan, you don't plan to turn down my offer, do you? After all, you know that all the prefect duties are a big burden to Yuuki and Kiryuu-kun, and that it takes tolls on them. You don't want to leave them tired, do you?" He paused and scrutinized my face, ignoring Yuuki's frustrated call for him to stop torturing me.

"Being a prefect is very simple, Ri-chan~! You just need to meet Yuuki and Kiryuu-kun at the Moon Dorm gates at dusk every day and protect my adorable Night Class students from my obviously obsessed Day Class students. You also just patrol around at night to make sure that none of the Day Class students sneak out of the dorms and are out pass curfew to do anything to my Night Class students!

"I think you know that fighting, drinking blood on grounds, being out pass curfew and everything is prohibited here at Cross Academy." He paused for a split second before tears streamed down his face and he exclaimed, "You'll do this for me? Oh, _thank you_, Ri-chan! You're the best!" He squealed like a girl and handed me something white with red on it. Kaien didn't even wait for my answer—he accepted his own offer on my behalf, even though I was _clearly_ going to protest with this whole prefect thing.

"Cha—Daddy! What if Riku didn't want to do it?" Yuuki argued, once again, for my sake.

I wanted to face-palm myself or take just grab Kaien and throw him into some machine that turns him into a girl. See how he likes being a girl or something—I'd love to see him suffer. But he would probably enjoy it—his hair might grow out longer and he'd be all obsessing about it, flipping it over his shoulder and everything.

On the inside, I gagged and puked at that thought. In reality, however, I glared at the white prefect band for a few moments before I reluctantly tied it around my wrist. I had no idea if it was supposed to be on your arm or whatever, but I didn't care. If Kaien was going to make me protect his _adorable_ Night Class students, then he sure as hell better let me wear that prefect symbol thing however I want to.

Kaien shook his head at Yuuki's comment, smiling. He hugged me tight, and didn't seem to notice the slight glare I gave him. "Thank you, Ri-chan~! You've made me so happy! You're the best, it's for the best, _I'm_ the best~" He began to sing some weird song that sounded horrible—he was improvising it on the spot, and let me tell you, Kaien isn't the greatest singer.

"At least Riku's _somewhat_ suitable for the prefect job," Zero muttered, glancing at Yuuki. "Unlike you," he told her.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Yuuki whined, sounding offended that Zero would say something like that to her. I, on the other hand, wasn't the least bit surprised that Zero said something like that—it seemed so _him_ to insult everyone.

Kaien sniffed, blinking away his tears. He gave us a thumbs up, and wiggled his eyebrows. "It's almost time for my adorable Night Class students to take their walk to their class! You need to go, go, go, go! Protect my lovable students from being ripped to shreds by the fan-girls! I won't forgive you if you fail!" He looked up, pumping his fist into the air. And then he seemed to remember I'm new to this job, because he looked down at me with a strange expression.

"Oh," he stated. "Ri-chan, because you're new to this, you can just watch how to do things for today," he grinned. "You'll learn how to take care of everything in just one day due to my fabulous daughter and son!"

"I'm not your son!" Zero argued. And by his voice, I think they've had this argument a lot of times before.

Kaien waved Zero's hostile tone away dismissively. He leaned in and whispered to me, as if Zero wasn't right in front of us, "Kiryuu-kun can be a feisty one. Watch out, he's like a gorgeous tiger."

…Was it me, or did Kaien sound like he strangely _admired_ the fact that Zero was "feisty"?

Zero glared daggers at Kaien. "Don't talk about me like I'm a piece of meat," he grunted, shooting Kaien one last glare before he walked nonchalantly out of the room, Yuuki hesitantly trailing after him. She gave me a look that told me to follow, which I did.

"Thank you, Cross-san," I told Kaien quietly as I slipped away and out the door, gently closing it behind me. Zero and Yuuki were out in the hall, waiting for me.

"Shall we go now?" Yuuki asked, smiling in an unsure manner.

Zero shot Yuuki a look that said he clearly didn't care—how typical. I would bet away all my hair—My precious, precious hair—to the fact that Zero clearly didn't like being a prefect, but didn't complain about it. He would most likely prefer going around finding some dark corner to sulk in or something.

I merely nodded my head stiffly—just once, and together, the three of us made our way towards the Moon Dorm.

Yuuki must've figured something out about me, because her eyes kept darting in between Zero and me, and then Zero, and then me again. I wouldn't be surprised if she finally figured it out—I mean, Yuuki isn't stupid, and Zero isn't, either. They've noticed—Kaien noticed. They should. It's obvious.

I've become an anti-social, heartless jerk that nobody really bothers talking to. I fall into the category of "bad attitude" and supposedly, "freak" and whatnot. I'm not surprised—it's actually not that bad after four years. You get used to it.

Suddenly, Yuuki's hand rested on my shoulder. She grinned at me, her crimson eyes determined. "How was America, Riku? We haven't seen you in so long… Did you have fun? Did you meet anyone new? Were they friendly? We've missed you." She bombarded be with questions, and she spoke so fast her words were glued together.

Answering her questions in order, I said, "Fine, I know, yes, yes, yes, and I've missed you too." Though I was supposed to sound happy and have a smile on my face, my voice came out in monotone, and my face was kept blank.

Yuuki smiled at me. "You're going to love it here at Cross Academy," she told me.

I nodded my head once, not knowing what else to say.

The whisperings of the students we passed by rang in my ears. Their stares burned holes into my face and body, and I eavesdropped on what they said. It was probably just the usual, though—nothing people say is really new to me anymore. It's actually kind of amusing, really—the whole point of gossiping is trying to keep it hush-hush, and yet, they were talking loudly amongst themselves. There's no doubt that Yuuki and Zero heard, too, but I have no idea if they were listening like I was.

_"Ew. New girl."  
_

_"Huh. Looks like she's not in the Night Class—weird. She looks like she's supposed to be there."  
_

_"I bet you ten bucks that she's got the same stupid, cocky attitude as Kiryuu."  
_

_"Is she and Kiryuu related? They both have lavender eyes."  
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_"I think our theory of the Night Class is wrong—if it was true, then Kiryuu and that new girl would be in the Night Class."  
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_"Weird—she has the same vibe was those guys. And so does Kiryuu."  
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_"I hate her already."  
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_"Why the hell does she have the prefect symbol?"  
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_"Just by looking at her, I can tell she's some anti-social freak. I can already tell I hate her guts."_

Yep—it's just the usual.

"They think we're related," I told Zero, blinking. It made me wonder—can they _not_ see that our hair is like… Completely different colours? His hair is like a silvery colour and my hair is… Well… Obsidian. We're both pale and we both have lavender eyes, but really? We look _nothing_ alike.

He shrugged his shoulders casually, obviously not caring. "Let them think what they want," he told me nonchalantly.

Yuuki laughed sheepishly. "Sorry, Riku. People here tend to talk."

I nodded my head in understanding. I wasn't necessarily very happy with it, but I didn't mind. It's not like they'd do anything to me, anyways. I got the impression that Zero is intimidating to the students here because of the way they speak about him. And when he walked, people seemed to clear a path for him like he was some sort of god. They were most likely doing it out of fear—I think they thought he'd rip their heads off if they made him angry.

Not too far ahead, I saw a mass of moving black clothing and a bunch of heads bobbing up and down. It looked like a swarm of insects, and I could hear the excited and loud screams of the female students from where we were. They were screaming—obviously—for the Night Class students. It's surprising, though—they were standing right in front of the Moon Dorm gates, just _waiting _for something interesting to happen or something.

Why did I get the impression that maybe, just maybe, the Night Class students are mostly gorgeous-looking males?

My eyes narrowed slightly at this.

Yuuki grabbed my wrist. "We need to hurry if we want to make it in time," she told me, smiling. She ran towards the girls, dragging me along. She was running so fast that when I tried to run along side her, instead of being literally dragged, I found myself tripping again and again, not able to get a good footing on the ground. Yuuki was running so fast that the ground and everything around me was just a blur of colours. Eventually, I just settled for letting her drag me there.

After a while, we appeared there, and she let me go. She turned to look at me seriously. "Be careful—you can stay and watch us. It's not as easy as she looks." When I nodded my head, she smiled and pumped her fist into the air.

"Alright! Time for prefect duty!"

I could feel my body being roasted like a chicken at all the glares or looks I was getting. I ignored all of them and stood beside a glaring Zero, who had appeared shortly after we did. The girls seemed to think his glare shot lightning out of his eyes or something because they scampered back when he glowered at them. When you compare Yuuki and Zero's side, it's obvious that Zero's better at controlling the crowd. I don't think anyone even listens to Yuuki as she shouts at them to stop talking.

I stared blankly as the gates began to open and the girls scream louder. Standing at the gates and walking down the path like it was some sort of red carpet, were around eight students, who were all _inhumanly_ beautiful. I swear—they don't look real. It's like someone painted their faces or drew them, because there is _no freaking way_ that people can look that gorgeous.

A male with dark brown hair and dazzling red eyes, which looked sad, was in the front. He reminded me of Yuuki, with the red eyes and brown hair. He was very tall, and was smiling just slightly, like he didn't want to be rude. His face was blank except for the smile, and he radiated power. Power and confidence.

Walking right behind him were two girls—one had beautiful, long, wavy hair that reached her waist. It was like a beige colour, tainted with slight pink—weird, but it still looked beautiful. She had a few strands in front of her eyes, but you could still see that her eyes were the colour of her hair, but more pink. She was beautiful, and her head was held high, clearing not paying attention to the screaming fan-girls. She acted like she was the first person's bodyguard or something. The other girl had short, pale blue hair a few shades darker than periwinkle. Her hair reached her chin, and she had bangs that ended just above her eyebrows. Her face held no emotion in them as she stared ahead. Her eyes were the same colour as her hair, but they seemed a little darker.

Following those two, came a blonde with wavy blonde hair. His eyes were an amazing shade of sapphire blue, and he walked with pride. He shouted things to the girls that made them crazy, and he smiled at them cockily. His eyes gleamed—it was almost like if there were large sparkles around his face.

A tall male with orange hair was next to him, his hands stuffed into his pockets casually. He had beautiful amber eyes, and he looked like he was trying to drown out the screams of the girls. He had a calm aura around him, like he never lost his cool. He looked around, but didn't really seem to be paying much attention.

Another blonde male came next. This person was also really tall, and had blonde hair lighter than the other person. His eyes were a stunning shade of emerald green, and they sparkled with kindness and cheerfulness. He smiled warmly at the fan-girls, but not in a flirty way. It's like he was trying to be nice to everyone, and by the looks of it, he _is_ nice. He responded with warm "Good evenings" and other greetings to the girls who said it to him, and flashed gorgeous smiles at everyone.

Lastly, walking beside each other closely—almost _too_ closely like they were either couples or super close friends—was a male and a female. The female was amazingly attractive—she had a hair colour in between gold and bright orange, but whatever colour her hair was, it was completely beautiful. She had her hair tied into two pig-tails with black ribbons, and she had blue eyes. Her face screamed boredom—she looked like she was only here because she had to be.

Next to her was the male. He had maroon hair that looked like it would be a beautiful shade of dark brown if the red hadn't been so dominating. Either way, his hair was a shade of dark red, and he had a pair of magnificent, light cerulean eyes a few shade lights than the girl he was beside. His expression, however, was a lot like hers—_bored_. He had a vibe of nonchalance around him, and when I studied the two of them closing, I realized that I know those two.

Well, I don't _know_ them, but I know their names. They're the two models sitting on the top of the world right now—Shiki Senri and Touya Rima—they are so famous it's not even funny. Every time you pick up a magazine, BAM! It's either one or the other or both on the cover. I don't think any other story or anything had taken the cover ever since those two decided to become models—and _damn_. I can't blame the magazine people—those two were completely godly.

They were all so beautiful… It made me feel self-conscious. Of course, this wasn't shown at all as I stared blankly at them. I noticed the dark-haired male speak a few words to a blushing Yuuki.

"AHHHHH! IDOL-SENPAI! LOOK OVER HERE!"

"AIDOU-SENPAI! I LOVE YOUUUUU!"

"KYAAAA~! WILD-SENPAI!!!!!!"

"KANAME-SENPAI, LET'S GET MARRIED!"

"SHIKI-SENPAIIII! YOU LOOK AMAZING AS USUAL!!"

"SMILE FOR ME, ICHIJOU-SENPAI~!"

"YOU'RE THE BEST, KANAME-SENPAI!"

"ICHIJOU-SENPAIIII! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, SHIKI-SENPAI! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"AKATSUKI-SENPAI~! YOU'RE SO HOT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

I wanted to face-palm myself at how obsessed they sounded—sure, they were good looking, but really? All the camera phones they had out were blinding my eyes.

"Riku, don't you dare turn—"

Zero was cut off as I turned around to look at him, only to be met with a swarm of female students rushing forward. They rammed into me, knocking me backwards. I felt the breath leaving my lungs as they all ran into me like I was some sort of chocolate that they wanted. Obviously, I tried to step backwards to regain my balance, but I stepped on something and tripped, falling backwards. I waited for the impact to break my bones or something, but it never came. Instead, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and stop me from falling.

I looked up and met a pair of nonchalant blue ones.

Shifting my eyes awkwardly, I saw Zero glaring daggers at me, clearly irritated I didn't listen to him. I shot him a look that said I didn't hear what he said, and he merely scoffed to himself quietly, clearly not believing my "excuse."

Yuuki was on her knees, and she looked up with wide eyes as the first guy crouched in front of her. The two exchanged a few words and Yuuki blushed red like a tomato. Aww, how cute.

My eyes wandered back to the pair of bored blue ones.

"Do you intend to get up anytime soon?" He asked, his voice _almost_ sarcastic. It held the same nonchalance as his expression.

Embarrassed, I quickly stood up and freed myself. But in my haste, I tried took a step, stepped on something, and tripped again. I was, once again, caught by the bored model. My eyes searched for what tripped me, and they landed on a foot that was stuck out. It belonged to a girl with bright, flaming red hair and forest green eyes. Her hands were clasped behind her back and looked around innocently, as if she didn't do anything wrong.

"_Foot_," I told her flatly as I nudged it, glaring at her. She quickly retrieved it, and carefully, I stood up. I bowed to this Shiki guy. "Thank you for catching me… Twice," I added the last word on a lot more softly than I did to the others—because, hello? It was killing my pride to have fallen down twice—both times in a very idiotic fashion.

He nodded his head, and I turned around to where I felt a pair of eyes burning holes into my back. It was that guy—the brown haired guy. His dark red eyes were guarded and suspicious as he looked at me, like he was searching for something. His lips were pressed in a tight line, but he didn't say anything.

I felt Zero's hand wrap around my forearm, and he yanked me away from the maroon-haired model. He glared daggers at me. "Idiot," he muttered softly, clearly unhappy.

I wanted to throw some insults right back at him, but I didn't. I bit my tongue are stared at him blankly for a while before shifting my gaze back to the Night Class students, who began walking away towards their class again.

When the Shiki guy passed by me, I couldn't help but look at him from the corner of my eyes. Unfortunately, he decided to do the same. Our eyes flickered to each other's for a moment—just a brief, awkward second—before we both looked away in unison.

I've been here for like… What? Two hours?

I can already tell problems are going to form.

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**A / N : **Errr, yes. That concludes the very first chapter of my very first fanfiction posted on the internet. I'm hoping that I did decently, adn that most of the characters were kept in character. Personally, I didn't really like this chapter. I don't feel really confident about it--I rewrote it over five times. No kidding. It still just doesn't seem very right to me, but I _promise_ you that the next chapter will be better xD I find first chapters somewhat boring since nothing really happens, but yeah...

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!

Please review for me. I want to know how I did--and I don't mind if the review isn't the nicest xD I've been told I take critisism well, so it's all good. I would just like to know how I did, so please review and tell me! I appreciate it greatly -smiles-

Well, I guess I'll talk more next chapter... _If_ there _is_ a next chapter, that is... x.x

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong- ;D


	2. Information Conversation?

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight at all.**

**A / N :**

Oh my _gawd_! You guys have _got_ to be kidding me! xD I got twelve reviews for my first chapter?! No freaking way! xD You guys have no idea how happy I am, and because I'm just _so_ ecstatic, I began to type on my computer like crazy. That, my dear friends, resulted in me having this chapter up in just two days -grins- Hopefully, this chapter isn't a letdown. It's when Shiki and my OC, Riku, finally have a conversation. BOOYAH!

Thank you to everyone to reviewed, I really, really appreciate it! I'm very happy ;D

Oh, and by the way, **_most_** of the time, every new chapter is the next day. _Most_ of the time. Just so that it's not too confusing ;D

Well, I'll stop talking and let you read the second chapter! I hope you enjoy!

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**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

___"_Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER T_W_O.**

_"Information Conversation?"

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DAY TWO

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I sighed as I leaned against the stone fence-like thing. It was around twelve-thirty in the morning, and we were still running patrols. I was standing on a thing similar to a super large balcony close to where the Night Class was taking their, well, _class_. Through the slightly tinted window, I could see that brown-haired male—Kuran Kaname, as Yuuki informed me— was reading a book or something.

Sadly—at least for me—Yuuki and Zero had decided to show me how to patrol and decided that it would better if I got the first-hand experience instead of just watching. And now, I'm stuck here doing patrols instead of hanging back and merely watching—how much does _that_ suck?

I heard the sound of footsteps as well as quiet, urgent whispers. Without turning around, I stated, "Out past curfew's prohibited."

I heard two small, surprised squeaks.

Turning around, I saw two girls from the Day Class two meters away from me, cameras in their hands. They looked at me innocently, and then took a small step back.

Why did they just _have_ to stumble across _this_ specific spot? I would've preferred it if they bumped into Zero instead.

Glancing at them, and then flickering my eyes away, I asked, "What are your names? Your classes?"

"What's wrong with wanting to take pictures of the Night Class?" One of them muttered.

"Please don't tell Cross-san about this," another one pleaded.

"State your name and classes," I repeated, walking towards them.

"But we aren't doing anything wrong!"

…Wasn't being out past curfew against the school rules? Technically, they _were_ doing something wrong. "It's midnight," I said quietly. "It's past curfew—what are your names and classes?" I was getting tired of repeating myself. Didn't they get I wanted their information?

I saw the two exchange a glance, and then abruptly, they turned around and made a break for it, running quickly into the thick trees that were planted here like a mini forest.

A small string of profanities left my mouth quietly as I glared at where the girls left. I didn't want to run after them—I was too lazy to, and you can't blame me for being tired. But I knew that the chairman would throw a fit if he found out I wasn't doing my job, so, sucking it up, I began running in the direction where they had disappeared.

I saw the deep footprints of the two female students imprinted on the dark, slightly damp grass. They were heading towards the other entrance into the halls that would take them to where the Night Class studies.

Scowling, I jumped off the balcony and took a short cut that Yuuki and Zero had showed me earlier today, right before we went our separate ways. Because I still didn't know the school too well, the two of them showed me the shortcuts to places where they usually find the students, and at the time they showed me, I wasn't the least bit interested. Now, however, when I'm trying to chase down some creepy stalkers, I find it very convenient.

Pushing aside any branches that I could, and ducking or jumping over branches that were too thick for me to overpower, I quickly arrived exactly where I was supposed to—thank god I didn't take a wrong turn or something. I leaned against a tree trunk and waited for the female students to show up, though they didn't make me wait long.

"_Shh_! We can't get caught again!"

"Let's just get this over with, I don't—"

I cleared my throat, and suppressed a grin when I saw them jump. "I'm tired of repeating myself. What are your names and classes?"

I swear that if they don't answer me this time, I'm going to lose my temper and ask Zero for his Bloody Rose tomorrow and shoot at these two girls, though I know it won't do anything. Maybe the bullets would leave bruises—that would be better than nothing…

The two girls did something that I completely did _not_ expect—they squealed and blushed. I couldn't help the confusion that flittered across my face, because, really… Why would you start squealing like you had just won a million dollars at someone who could knock you out? It didn't make sense—not until I heard the voice that was behind me. And when I did, it finally clicked.

"My, my… What's up with all the racket that can be heard from so far away?" Aidou asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I glared at him, but didn't say anything. Instead, I turned my glower towards the Day Class students, who were too busy gawking at Aidou to notice.

"It's Aidou-senpai," they dreamily sighed.

The said blonde grinned at them. "Hello, ladies~!" He winked at them, causing them to squeal loudly. If they screamed an octave higher, I swear my eardrums would just burst. Aidou didn't seem the least fazed—he merely grinned. But it made me curious as to how he didn't flinch—he must be wearing earplugs considering vampires have enhanced senses, making the screams louder than they were.

"Are you here to visit me?" Aidou asked as his eyes gleamed in the moonlight. His tone had a hint of cockiness in it, like he was absolutely positive that these two girls were his personal stalkers that didn't have eyes for anyone else. Although Aidou is very attractive, so is the rest of the Night Class.

"Y-Yes, Idol-senpai!" The two exclaimed in unison. They practically trembled with pleasure when Aidou took steps towards them, a casual smile on his face as he did so.

I took larger strides and stopped in between them, my back facing Aidou. I glared at the Day Class students. "Its past curfew," I told them sourly—hopefully, my glower was radiating the fact that I wasn't happy at the moment. "Go back to the dorms _now_, unless you'd prefer I report this to the chairman."

Luckily, they made the right choice and began their hike back towards the dorms. They kept giggling ad eyeing Aidou as they left, who was grinning at them and blowing them kisses. He was made to be a celebrity—you could tell that he loved being in the spotlight and the attention he got from all the girls.

My point is proven whenever he smiles brightly at them and pretends to shoot them with a love bullet or whatever he does.

When the two girls were out of sight, the smile wiped off his face. He turned and glared slightly at me, like my mere presence completely revolted him. He glowered at me with his dark sapphire eyes.

"Sorry, I'm resistant to glares," I told him in monotone, saying the last part sarcastically.

Aidou's eyes narrowed at me, and it didn't take a genius to tell he hated me. "_You_," he spat the word out in my face, his voice dripping with obvious venom. His azure eyes flashed red, but it was just for a second.

Instead of trying to suck me dry, I could hear the faint cracking sound, like ice. And then I felt myself being surrounded by a cool aura, like I had just opened up the fridge. My eyes narrowed at him slightly—I had no idea if he was picking a fight with me or not. Was this what happens when the vampires get angry? Can they actually make you feel it through the coldness in the air? I highly doubted it, but nonetheless.

Considering the situation I was in, I found out it was better to take a step back, only to realize that I couldn't. My eyes rested on my right foot, which was now covered in ice, connecting, and holding, my foot to ground like I was a prisoner. My right foot was already numb from the insane coldness that the ice gave off, and I saw the ice slowly creeping up along my leg higher and higher.

The string of colourful profanities left my mouth in whispers before I could even register they were coming out.

Aidou gave off a bitter laugh without humor. "Ladies shouldn't be so cruel, let alone have such a colourful vocabulary," he said mockingly as he took a step closer towards me, making me try and take a step back on instinct.

I glared daggers at him as he came closer, and I was well aware that the ice was halfway up my thigh. "Fighting on school grounds is prohibited," I stated bitterly as he came closer.

Aidou didn't seem to hear me. He continued to advance towards me, when he stopped when his face was hardly a foot away. He lifted my face up with one of his pale fingers, and looked—more like glared—at me with his cerulean eyes. He looked so serious, so much more mean than he did when his fan-girls were here.

How typical.

Put on the sweet fake act so everyone loves you and then you can get them to obey your every command, huh? I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if Aidou demanded them to get him some hair gel or mango pudding frequently.

Disgust ran through my veins, and without thinking, I slapped his hand away from my chin. His glare only intensified as I did so, and his eyes flashed red again.

"You're blood is calling out to me, Sasaki… I can already _imagine _flowing into my mouth," he hissed. I could feel the ice on my left ankle and quickly advancing upwards.

"I thought all prefects had an anti-vampire weapon," he taunted. "Aren't you going to at least let me have some fun?"

I didn't say anything, but with right hand, I grasped onto the end of the ribbon—the end that was pure-white. I pulled on it, and pulled until the ribbon was completely off of my neck. What I held in my hands must've surprised Aidou, because I saw his eyes widen slightly.

Yes, the ribbon I swore around my neck like a choker was actually an anti-vampire weapon. It was a sword with the hilt and cross-guard a pure-white, the blade a jet-black. It was thin, and the blade glinted in the moonlight. However, because the ribbon is so long, the blade is around three feet long, the hilt obviously shorter.

I pointed the blade at Aidou's neck at the exact same time he grew his fangs and placed them at the hollow of my throat. However, the two of us didn't make any moves—we were too busy contemplating our actions.

That is, until I heard the clinking sound as Zero prepared to shoot his gun. He appeared literally out of nowhere, and had pointed his Bloody Rose at Aidou's head, his face set in a scowl. And, only a second after Zero had appeared, I saw that Shiki guy appear with the girl with the hair in pigtails.

Those two still looked completely bored as they evaluated the scene.

"How pathetic…" The girl murmured quietly to Aidou, making his eyes flash crimson.

"Uncool," was the flat response from Shiki.

Aidou seemed to realize that if he made one move that Zero and I wouldn't hesitate in crushing him, so he warily moved his fangs off of my throat slowly, like he was telling us he wasn't going to do anything. Zero and I both watched him carefully as he did so, and when he was finally straightened up, the two of us relaxed just the slightest.

Aidou walked over to where Shiki and the other person was—I need to ask Yuuki for her name later—and he cleared his throat, tossing his wavy blonde hair back as if nothing happened. "Are you two here to admire my beauty?" He asked them, smiling.

"Kaname-sama sent us," the girl replied in a bored tone.

"He knew you're an idiot and does things recklessly," came Shiki's response.

"Hey! I am _not_ an idiot! I'm a genius, thank you very much," Aidou said sourly, his ego deflating slightly when he saw the expression on his friends' faces.

"Do you mind?" I asked Aidou somewhat sarcastically as I gestured to the ice that held me like shackles—I saw Zero giving me a disapproving look, almost like he was saying I was stupid to have gotten myself in this sort of situation. I shot him a look that told him to shut up, and he simply rolled his eyes.

I could practically hear his thoughts—they went along the lines of, _"I didn't say anything, and you have to admit that you're an idiot to almost get yourself sucked dry by these parasites."_

Aidou glared at me, but I felt the ice fade away, like it was being melted. And soon, the ice that held me was gone, though the numb feeling still remained. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, disturbed by how I couldn't feel them. I used the side of my blade and slapped my calf with it, but I felt no pain.

Zero looked at me like I was a freak. "Obviously, you're not going to feel it," he told me like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I got that, Zero. Thanks for the concern," I told him sarcastically.

"You should be glad I came and saved your ass!" He scowled at me, clearly not in the happiest mood ever. His hard lavender eyes told me a silent message, transferring it through with his eyes; _Be careful, you idiot!_

I stared at him blankly, but I nodded my head. I sighed and placed the tip of my sword on to ground and began to write the word "Seal" onto the ground, drawing a circle around it and then a star. After I finished, the blade glowed a faint light purple, and when it faded away, my normal black and white ribbon was in its placed. I tied it around my neck in its usual position, being able to do it in less than twenty seconds—you get the hang of it after having to do it a ton of times.

Zero and I stood side by side, across from the three vampires who formed a straight line. The tension that hung in the air was thick, the darkness just making it seem a lot more dramatic than it really was.  
"Fights on school grounds are prohibited," Zero informed him bitterly, repeating what I told Aidou a few moments ago. His lavender eyes were hard and cold as he stared at them. "And so is drinking blood," his eyes shifted to Aidou, who glared lasers at the two of us.

"I'm sure it won't happen again, _right_, Aidou-senpai?" I asked, my tone almost dripping with sarcasm.

"Right," he mimicked my sarcastic tone as we glared at each other.

Zero grabbed my arm and yanked me away. "Come on, we still have ten minutes of patrolling," he muttered.

I didn't say anything and let him drag me away, tearing my eyes away from the three vampires that were still standing there. I shrugged Zero's arm off after a few steps, and he let go, knowing I would follow him. He knows that I'm unlike Yuuki, who would probably just run back to the spot if he let her go.

However, I couldn't help but turn and glance back at them once, only to realize that they had vanished into the night.

* * *

I sighed quietly to myself as I sat in the shade of a large, large oak tree in the exact center of a semi-forest of some sort. It was the late afternoon—around five. The sun was still shining, but doing it much more faintly than the time around noon. It wasn't that hot, considering the fact I had transferred in the beginning of December. It made me wonder, though, what would happen when it was close to summer. If we wore black uniforms when it's blazing outside, wouldn't we cook like chicken?

Shaking my head slightly, I tried to turn my attention back to my math homework, but just looking at the page made me dizzy. All the numbers were gibberish in my eyes—I understood nothing of it, and it blinded my eyes and bleached my brain. I hate math to the depths of hell—always have, always will. I'm not going to change that just because I've transferred to another school. I can't help the simple fact that I'm completely clueless when it comes to it.

The tip of my fountain pen was pressed in between my lips—I wasn't biting it, but it was there as I pressed my lips together tightly, thinking hard. I heard fabric rub against the tree trunk, telling me someone had just leaned there and was peering over my shoulder.

"What do you need, Zero?" I asked, not bothering to look up as I kept my tone blank.

It had to be either Zero of Yuuki considering I had only told them where I would be, and knowing Yuuki, she wouldn't be so quiet. Zero, on the other hand, would appear without a sound and you'd only know he was there basically right next to you.

The guy's like a ghost, I swear.

"…I'm not Kiryuu," came the bored response.

I _almost_ jumped at the sound of the familiar voice, but I didn't, and instead, forced a calm, bored expression on my face as I turned towards him. When I looked up, I was met with a pair of dazzling sapphire eyes.

"What do you need, Shiki-senpai?" I asked, suppressing a sigh as I turned back to my binder. My eyes scanned the pages as I re-read the notes I had over and over again, trying to grasp _some_ concept on how to do the homework that was assigned.

"Nothing," he replied casually.

I nodded my head at him disbelievingly. "You just so _happened_ to run into a person doing homework deep within a semi-forest, correct?" I asked him indifferently as I flipped the page, almost groaning when I saw that there were even _more_ things I was supposed to know.

"Actually," he started nonchalantly, "Where you're sitting now is where I usually go to take a break."

I could hardly hear him as I snapped my finger, blinking at my notes. I finally understood what I did wrong, and I'm proud of myself for that. It was no wonder I had gotten practically all my answers wrong during the whole 'test-your-tablemate' thing.

I pulled the tip of my pen out from between my lips and flipped a few pages where I had begun my homework, and then started where I left off, almost not remembering Shiki was there.

The stare of Shiki, however, couldn't be ignored, and my hand stopped on the spot when I heard him sit down beside me. I blinked, and then set my pen down, turning to look at the amazingly gorgeous person beside me.

"…What are you doing?" I asked him idiotically as I stared.

"My spot, unfortunately, is taken," he reminded me indifferently. "So I'm sitting here instead."

You know, when someone—extra emphasize if he's a vampire—decides to sit next to you out of random, and had watched you do homework for around ten minutes and didn't even make any sound, let alone say anything, you'd be feeling suspicious, too. Especially when his friends completely hate you or dislike you enough to want to try and suck you dry like you're some sort of super fancy wine that has sparkles in it or something.

"I'll be blunt," I warned him quietly, and when he glanced at me from the corner of his eyes telling me he was listening, I inquired, "Are you trying to kill me?"

He shifted his gaze back in front of us. "No," he assured me, though it wasn't reassuring at all. He sounded like it was perfectly normal for a vampire to bump into a girl that's isolated from everyone in the middle of a semi-forest while she's doing homework.

Yeah—you know, it's _totally_ normal and _not_ dangerous…

A moment of silence was passed between us as a breeze came by. My hair floated in the direction that the wind blew, the force of the wind making the black strands look like they were following it. Unfortunately, though, my hair flew right into Shiki's face. I could see him blinking as the mass of obsidian hair mobbed at him like angry insects.

The soft, quiet laugh that escaped my mouth couldn't be held back when the wind finally died down and I caught a sight of his face. His eyes looked confused, and his lips were turned down into a slight, almost nonexistent grimace, and he wrinkled his nose insignificantly. His attractive blue eyes glanced at me as I laughed.

"…Strawberry," Shiki murmured. "Strawberry Pocky…" It was so quiet that I almost didn't catch it, even though I'm only like two feet away. However, I did hear him, and I looked at him, confusion written on my face subtly.

"…Strawberry Pocky?" I repeated, my voice mixed with both nonchalance and confusion. Strawberry Pocky? I didn't have any, and I could tell that he didn't, either.

Shiki glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, and then he said casually, "Your hair. It smells like strawberry flavored Pocky," he paused for a brief second. "And like roses."

The blood that rushed to my face and tainted my cheeks a light pink couldn't be helped.

Though it was complete _weird_ to have a guy smell your hair and tell you that you taste like food and flowers (Because, honestly, that might not sound very flattering and more insulting, don't you think? It's like telling your girlfriend or boyfriend that she or he smells like some sort of red bean paste mixed with mustard with a hint of daffodil. Not very pleasing now, is it?), when it came from someone as beautiful as Shiki, it sounded… _Somewhat_ decent. Like he wasn't _trying_ to insult me, but saying it like he was either trying to compliment me or just to state a fact.

Confusion was still in my voice as I muttered a, "I'm going to take that as a compliment."

Shiki shrugged his shoulders slightly. "It was—sort of."

The two of us once again lapsed into silence, but it seemed kind of natural this would happen. When you put two anti-social people together, you _know_ that they'd fall into some sort of awkward silence sooner or later, because, well, they're _anti-social_. The whole point of being anti-social was not talking to anyone, or talking very little and liking to be isolated and different.

Hesitantly, I picked up my pen and continued my homework, not sure what else to do. But, as I continued working on the math question, I couldn't help but ask him something.

"…Do you like Pocky?" It came out quiet and indifferent, but really? I was actually kind of curious to know—I, personally, loved Pocky. I couldn't find many people who liked it as much as I did—Zero hated sweet foods and Yuuki didn't even know Pocky existed. So, when Shiki seemed to identify the strawberry Pocky-like smell, it made me wonder…

He seemed hesitant to answer, but after a slight pause, he nodded his head once. "Do you?"

Copying his movement, I nodded my head once, too, and another moment of silence engulfed us.

I heard him sigh softly, and then he asked somewhat awkwardly (Though, when you look at it, his voice is completely beautiful—it's very musical, almost as if he was singing. How can that be awkward?), "What's your name?"

Blinking, I turned to look at him. "…Don't you already know?" I answered his question with one of my own.

"Your full name," he corrected himself.

I looked at him warily, but shrugged it off—there was no harm in telling him my name. He was bound to find out, anyway. "Sasaki Riku, nice to meet you," I informed him quietly.

He nodded his head once.

I waited for something more, but there wasn't anything—he was just staring blankly ahead like he was hypnotized or something. Or maybe he was falling asleep with his eyes open, but whatever he was doing, I knew something that he _wasn't_. He _wasn't_ telling me _his_ name in return.

I scowled and hesitantly nudged him with the tip of my fountain pen, only to find out that he was complete _hard_, as in, he had _very_ muscular arms. But I wasn't surprised—every magazine I pick up anywhere I go, he's the person on the front page. There have been pictures of him with his shirt off, too, and let me tell you—he has six pack abs and completely beautiful arms and a toned chest. It's not like he's mega buff or anything—don't get me wrong. The abs were only seen subtly, but they were there.

I swear, if you gave some random girl that magazine and she saw his picture, she would scream and become one of his fans. Sometimes, he would be on the cover with the other person, the blonde girl who I learned, just recently, is named Rima.

Anyway, when he didn't move, I let out a quiet sigh. I poked him again, and when he didn't move, I gave up, letting my pen drop back quietly onto my binder as I leaned my head against the large trunk.

"The jerk could've at least introduced himself back…" I murmured to myself, sighing silently again, closing my eyes.

"The jerk's name is Shiki Senri," came the casual response.

My eyes snapped open, and I looked at him, surprised to find him alive—I was actually wondering if he died in his sleep.

"Though," he continued in a bored tone, "I have to admit I'm surprise on how you don't know that."

What he was implying was completely obvious—translation to something more blunt? _I'm on the cover of every freaking magazine every time a new issue is out, and my name is in bold letters and you don't know? Have you been living under a rock, or are you just a boy in disguise?_ Though the last part might not be implied, it sure sounded like it. He stared at me like I was a complete freakshow, like I had grown tentacles out of my head and grown a snout.

I scoffed quietly and glared at him for a few seconds before I turned away. "Sorry," I told him sarcastically. "I don't stare at the cover of magazines and then blow them up into posters to hang up in my room so I can stare at your face every time I get dressed."

He raised an eyebrow at me slightly, as if saying, "_Really_?"

I stared at him blankly, but it soon turned into a glower. "Yes, really," I hissed, somewhat offended. Did he really think I enjoyed doing stuff like that? I couldn't even imagine myself having posters of my favourite movies or books, let alone of some guy.

Oh _god_.

How awkward would _that_ be? Opening your eyes up in the morning only to be met with Shiki Senri's face—and though he _is_ completely gorgeous, it's still going to extremes. And it wasn't as if I'd go around kissing his lips on every poster I hung up on my wall, _if_ I did, I mean. That'd be kind of… awkward.

He shrugged his shoulders casually. "I didn't say anything," he pointed out.

I shook my head internally, and turned back to my homework. I finished the last ten questions (The teachers here are insane) and then slammed my binder, as well as textbook, shut. I stacked the two so that the binder was under my textbook, considering it was larger.

The feeling of _having_ to make small talk seemed to invade Shiki, because that's what he attempted to do, though to anti-social people like us, it sounded like it was pretty pointless. "I can see you aren't the best at math."

"No, I'm not," I agreed warily—what was he getting to?

"Why didn't you ask someone for help?" He inquired.

"It doesn't matter," I retorted. And I realized that it shouldn't—I bet you that he doesn't even care. How he said it—_bored_ –completely proves my point.

Shiki stared straight ahead into nothing. "It does," he protested indifferently.

A sigh escaped my mouth. "What are you getting at?" I asked him bluntly, not bothering to try and fake curiosity. It came out blunt and flat, just the way I usually said things. If he says something like he was "just curious", I'm going to get the wrong impression that goes something along the lines of him trying to get me into an abandoned house and trying to suck me dry.

"Nothing," he responded. He looked up at the orangeish, yellowish, reddish sky, and I noticed that his eyes were completely mesmerizing when the light hit them. He seemed to sense me staring, because his eyes flickered down to meet mine for a brief second before both of us looked away awkwardly in unison.

In one fluid, smooth motion, he stood up and pushed himself off the tree, brushing away any dirt that or anything that got onto his white uniform.

"I should get back to the dorms, it's an hour or so before class starts. I need to prepare," he replied, also reminding me of my prefect duties.

I cursed internally, and stood up as well, picking up my fountain pen and my correction tape. We stood there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. When with Zero or Yuuki, I don't say anything when I leave. I just walk away, and they know that I'm going somewhere and that a "_Bye, I'll see you guys later,"_ is implied, and that I'm not trying to be rude. However, when with someone like Shiki, who's also anti-social, what are we supposed to do? Just walk away from each other like nothing happened?

That'd be like taking a lollipop from a baby when the mom isn't looking, lick it, and then hand it back to the baby before you walk away to do the same thing to the exact same baby a few days later.

I stared at the floor, contemplating if I should just say a simple "goodbye" and then make a run for it.

The beautiful voice of Shiki brought me out of my trance. "If you need help with homework, come find me or something," he offered coolly.

My head snapped up towards him, but he was already walking away. He held his hand up, not bothering to look back, giving me a silent goodbye.

His form retreating back towards the Moon Dormitory soon faded into the darkness, and that was when I sighed, shaking my head slightly as I walked in the opposite direction, towards the Sun Dorm.

The feeling that he was talking to me not because he wants to, but because he's trying to get information, was something that I wasn't able to shrug off as I walked away.

* * *

**A / N :**

Yep! That concludes the second chapter of Shitsuren! I hope that you guys enjoyed it, and that it wasn't very boring xD I had really enjoyed writing the moment where Shiki and Riku talked, but maybe it's just because I was excited it was their first conversation. xD

Hopefully, you guys had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! ;D

I'm very, very thankful to my reviewers, and I hope that you guys will continue to review for me!

Special Thanks To... :

**twilightchick13, AkashaCullen26, I'llxBexUrxEnigma2010, Senri Shiki Fan, AiAkakoSukiRini, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, amer, , Ravern's Moon, Anonymous, Hakumei-Ko, and yuzuki04129.**

Thank you to those twelve people! ;D AND to everyone who favourited / story alerted!

I'm the kind of person that really loves to update fast if I can, so please do your best and support me! I'll try my best and reach your expectations as well ;D

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	3. Oak Tree Clearing

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or anything.**

**A / N : **

Hello everyone! I'm sorry this update came a little later than my second chapter. It came out a day or two later than I would have wanted D; I'm very grateful to everyone who reviewed for me! So I wanted to tell you guys **_thank you_** and that I love you guys becaus you're all awesome! ;D

I'm glad that you guys like my story, and so, without anymore distractions, I present to you chapter three~! ;D

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER T_H_R_E_E : **

_"Oak Tree Clearing."

* * *

_DAY TWO - NIGHT.**

* * *

**

"Are you going to be attending?" Yuuki asked me curiously as she, Zero, and I walked towards the Moon Dormitory gates to once again keep the screaming fan-girls _out_ of the way.

I shrugged my shoulders slightly, and said flatly, "Maybe."

Yuuki pouted at me slightly, giving me her puppy-dog-eyes. "Please, Riku! You have to come with Yori and me! It'd be so much more fun if we _all_ went together!" When she said this, I couldn't help but notice that she was flashing Zero looks too, like she was silently screaming, _"Get that, Zero?! You'd better get your ass to that gym, too!"_

Obviously, Zero isn't stupid—he had gotten the hints, and merely scoffed. "I'd rather die than go," he muttered.

"It's in two and a half weeks," I reminded them bluntly. All the conversations today, and from today on and on for two and a half weeks, will be centered around the annual Winter Dance that's held every year—an event where both Day Class and Night Class students participate together. And, of course, you need to go with formal clothing.

I hated having to wear all those gowns and dresses and whatnot. They're always uncomfortable to move in, and _don't_ get me started about the stupid heels. They're just killer—wearing heels is, to me, like committing suicide to my poor innocent feet.

"Yes, but if we decide to go, we need to go buy our dresses!" Yuuki insisted, her crimson eyes were clouded over as she daydreamed, no doubt, about herself slow dancing with Kaname, getting all intimate with each other. She's probably dreaming about how it feels to kiss him, and putting that image into my head, I almost puked onto an innocent Day Class student who happened to walk by me.

I grimaced at the thought of wearing a dress. I looked up at Zero, not wanting to interrupt Yuuki's daydreaming, and asked him, "Is wearing formal attire absolutely required?"

He grunted in annoyance, and I could tell that he was unhappy with it, too. This, of course, tells me that unless you dress up all fancy and try to become a princess, you're not allowed in. Or, well, if you get in, you'd be an outcast and nobody would want to dance with you. It's always like that, isn't it? When having dances, guys just _have_ to wear tuxedos or suits, whereas girls just _have_ to wear dresses and heels.

Why can't you go casual?

Oh, right, because for some reason, it doesn't seem "appropriate" when you're slow dancing. 'Cause, you know, in order to slow dance properly, you just _have_ to dress yourself up and kill your feet.

Yuuki sighed as she snapped out of her daydream. She then remembered what we were previously talking about, because instantly, her eyes began to shine again, and she jumped up excitedly. "We should go shopping in a week at the _latest_! I'll have to ask Chairman to let us off on the weekend and let us go into town to shop."

I was going to remind her I probably wouldn't go, but we had already reached the Moon Dormitory, and she had already left Zero's side and bounded over to her usual side. Zero and I exchanged glances, wondering who would be the one to break it down for her we didn't want to go whatsoever, but in the end, we just shook our heads in unison and walked to our spots.

Now, keeping girls away was a lot easier than the first time. All I did was steal Zero's method—I glared daggers out of my eyes and practically made them wet their pants if they got too close. It was no different today, although they seemed to be more energetic. However, the terrifying glare Zero and I shot out of our eyes seemed to make them back off—only Yuuki was having trouble with the fan-girls.

"Glare," I told her as she struggled to hold back a handful of screaming girls.

"No!" She exclaimed, sounding horror-struck at the idea. Her crimson eyes widened, and she began to slide bit by bit across the pavement, even though she had dug her shoe's heels into the door to try and stop it. Her voice was muffled slightly as she began to shout instructions.

"Step back, please! Please don't—_Hey_! Don't push!"

A girl tip-toed closer and closer quietly, stopping every now and then. She looked around, trying to see if anyone noticed. She was on Zero's side, and I wondered how he was going to make her stop—it was obvious he had seen her.

When she was just about to pass him, he muttered something to her that made her flinch and then cower back into the crowd.

When the gates opened, the screaming grew louder. This time, I noticed, Aidou was in the front, Akatsuki (Also nicknamed _"Wild"_…) was walking next to him. Shiki and Rima were walking side by side right behind those two, and the blonde guy with the shining emerald green eyes—Ichijou Takuma, Yuuki told me earlier—was behind the bored-looking pair. Kaname was walking next to that beige-haired girl—Ruka—who looked like she was his bodyguard, ready to lash out at anyone who came too close.

I glared at the girls who continued to scream, but made no move to cross the boundaries. The usual screaming went on, you know, with the whole, "We love you!" thing, and the, "Please be my husband!" kind of shouts.

Did they really think shouting desperately would be a turn on?

I saw Shiki and Rima pass by me from the corner of my eye, but I made no move whatsoever to say hi. The conversation yesterday, his offer, it was all part of the past. He didn't mean it, I sear he didn't, and besides, what does it mean after that _one_ single conversation? That we were friends now?

As if.

I continued to glare daggers at the girls, and when I noticed Yuuki glancing over and blushing slightly as she stared at her beloved Kaname. It was obvious that she loved him, and it was obvious he had feelings for her, too. I just didn't understand why they didn't get together already—Yuuki might be dense, but Kaname sure as hell can't be stupid enough to not notice the feelings she has for him. If he doesn't, he's probably as dense as Yuuki, if not more.

So absorbed in watching Yuuki watch Kaname, I hardly even noticed when Ichijou sent me a completely dazzling smile. "Thank you for the good work," he told me warmly. Being the idiot I was, all I could do was nod my head and blink at him.

He looked at me curiously with his beautiful green eyes, as if wondering why I wasn't being social, but he didn't seem to mind. Instead, he flashed me another stunning smile before he walked away.

I watched him walk away, still confused and slightly surprised. From what Yuuki and Zero had informed me, Ichijou was one of those really nice, friendly vampires that worked hard to make it possible for vampires to co-exist. He wasn't nice, as in Kaname nice, meaning he kept on a blank expression as he said kind words and did nice actions. No, instead, Ichijou is known to express his friendliness constantly—Yuuki told me she's never saw him frown once in her whole life.

Optimistic vampire?

As weird as it sounds, I think that Ichijou is someone that I would like. I don't mean I'll crush on him, because I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship, but he's someone I'd probably like as a brother. I can tell why so many girls scream his name—he's the nice one in the group, I suppose. It's somewhat interesting, because on the most part, everyone from this specific clique of Night Class members seem to all have different personalities.

It was my third day here at Cross Academy, and I had already managed to get practically all the females to hate me, have all males wince at the sight of me because they think Zero will pummel them to death if he sees them talking to me because Zero is my so-called "brother", and get the Night Class students to think I'm a freak. You can't forget the weird conversation Shiki and I shared yesterday, either. That was just plain weird.

* * *

It was almost time for my prefect duties—it was around eleven thirty at night. I didn't want to stay in my dorm room doing nothing but stare out the window, because I can just go outside and get a _much_ better view. Though it was curfew for Day Class students, I'm going to assume its okay for a prefect to get patrolling a little earlier. What harm could possibly come out of this? Of course, if someone appears and asks me what the hell I'm doing out so late when its past curfew, I can always point out that I'm being a diligent prefect and that I wanted to patrol earlier.

That would be a complete and utter lie—I hated patrolling.

Scowling slightly, I flipped my lights off and opened up the window, letting the fresh night air hit me in the face. I inhaled deeply, and I took out a spool of white thread. I unwound around twenty meters length of thread, and then folded it in the middle. I put the spool of thread back in place and walked over to the window, where I wrapped the thread around the little nail that was hammed on the outside and jutted out a little. Making sure that I had knotted it tightly, I looked around warily before I jumped down, holding onto the thread as I did so.

When I landed onto the floor, it was quiet, but it sounded extremely loud in the silent night. Looking around and realizing nobody was looking, I pulled gently on the thread—I could feel the strain as it struggled to pull my window down. I probably look idiotic—after all, why would I go through so much trouble to close a window like this?

Well, if I left it open, people would be suspicious. If I left for my prefect duties, I wouldn't need to "sneak out" now, would I? And I can always just jump out the window and slam it shut, but when doing that, it'd make people curious and poke around my room. And that was never a good thing—I loved my privacy, thank you very much.

The soft thud as the window closed quietly made me sigh. I let go of the thread I held in my hands, and I began walking quietly towards the forest where I had met Shiki yesterday. I said that if I was _caught_, I would use the prefect excuse. But the whole point of the excuse being an _excuse_, means that I'm sure as hell not going to be actually doing it until I have to.

My footsteps seemed loud in the eerie night—it was hard to see because it was so dark. The only light came from the soft, faint rays from the silver moon which hung above the academy. But when you enter a place full of large trees, the moon's rays get blocked off by the large branches and the leaves. Because of this darkness, it was difficult to see something even two meters away.

Walking around with my arms outstretched and waving them like an idiot in front of me to make sure I don't crash into anything and knock myself unconscious stupidly, I began walking towards the center, towards the large oak tree.

I pushed aside smaller branches and ducked under a large one, and then climbed over a large boulder that blocked the way until I came upon the clearing where the large oak sat. The whole point about being the center of the semi-forest, and how I knew it was the center, was due to the late that when you get there, you see a large clearing. It's beautiful, the clearing, I mean. It forms a circle around the large oak, like the tree was sacred and needed its own space to grow.

When I reached the clearing, I saw someone already there, sitting down leaning against the trunk. The moon's bright rays shone down _exactly_ on the oak tree, kind of like all those dramatic times you see in TV shows. But I couldn't see the person's head clearly; it was in a place where the moon's rays didn't reach.

I didn't move—I only leaned against the tree trunk I was beside and stared at this person. I tried to keep my breathing from being too loud, but I'm probably already noticed.

"How long are you going to stay there?" The familiar voice and tone made me want to sigh in relief. Shiki turned his head so that it appeared in the moonlight, and I noticed that he was stunningly handsome. The moonlight seemed to illuminate his hair, and his striking eyes were also very beautiful. He was leaning casually against the tree like it was the most natural thing to do at eleven in the evening.

I blinked, and then hesitantly took a step closer to the clearing so that I was at the very edge. I didn't know if I was supposed to continue, after all, he _was_ the one who claimed it as his spot, and he didn't exactly invite me here.

He stared at me like he wasn't quite sure what I was trying to do. After an awkward minute of silence, he said casually, "Good evening."

I nodded my head once. "Good even—Wha!" My sentence was abruptly cut in the middle as I tripped over a large tree root that was off the ground. It blended in so well with the darkness that I didn't even know it was there—not until I tripped over it.

Bracing myself for the face-first impact, I shut my two eyes. But, like on my first day here at Cross Academy, the impact that would've knocked me unconscious never came. I felt arms once again wrap around my waist to keep me from completely killing myself.

I cracked an eye open slowly, and then the other. "Thank you," I murmured quietly in gratitude as I stood up and regained my composure.

"You seem clumsy," he commented indifferently. He watched me carefully as I jumped over the tree root and walk towards the large oak tree where he was previously sitting before he had to recue me. When I reached the oak, I was well aware that he was right behind me. I took a seat right beside where he sat before, on the side that actually had a moonlight coming through.

He sat down beside me like he did before I came.

Pulling my knees up halfway to my chest and then putting my arms in front of me, locking my fingers together, I stared up at the bright moon.

Shiki probably knew I wasn't going to talk unless he started the conversation, so he tried to get _some_ sort of conversation flowing between the two of us. "What're you doing here?"

"…I didn't know you were here," I replied blankly. He had asked me like he wasn't glad I was here at all, but he probably wasn't. He's probably fighting with his inner-self not to suck me dry.

"I didn't mean it that way." He knew what I was thinking.

"You're right—I jumped to conclusions."

"It's not time for you prefects to do your patrols," Shiki pointed out as he stared forward, not even giving me a caring glance.

"I know," I responded, absentmindedly twirling a strand of my obsidian hair with my fingers.

"For a girl, your fingers are long," he noted casually.

"I'm sorry, pardon?" I asked him, slightly confused, turning to look at him. What he said was completely random—I didn't expect him to say something like that.

He shook his head slightly, as if he was telling me to forget it.

I blinked my eyes, and then lifted a hand and stretched it out. I stared at it carefully, trying to see what Shiki was saying. My hand seemed like your average hand, or, well, your sort-of average hand. I was paler than most people, and my veins stuck up a little more than normal. I _guess_ you can say that my fingers were long, but I couldn't really tell. It's not like I went up to Yuuki out of random and asked her to compare finger-lengths with me. How would _that_ sound?

Suddenly, Shiki's hand appeared next to mine, and I turned to look at him curiously. He merely glanced at me for a nanosecond and then inclined his head back to our hands. When I turned my head back to compare our two hands, I couldn't help but notice that Shiki's hand was pale, though that was never a surprise. His fingers were long and slender, and his hands looked really soft and warm.

My hand looked small compared to his larger one, and I blinked. Though Shiki commented on how my fingers were long, his were even longer.

Wait—why the hell are we talking about _fingers_?

Shaking my head internally, I let my hand drop softly to my side, and Shiki followed my lead. The two of us didn't say anything or look at each other—it was just another awkward pause again.

"Why aren't you in class?" I asked him, my voice flat. I had no idea if I should be happy I saw him here, or if I should hate him to the depths of hell for being here. It's not like I had a grudge or something against him, but really. How would being friends with someone you hardly see be a good friendship? He sleeps in the day while I'm awake and at school, and while he's at school and awake, I'm supposed to be sleeping. You know, you can't exactly talk much in the time where you're both awake.

"I'm ditching," he stated casually. Underneath his bored tone, however, I caught the hint that he wondered if I was an idiot.

I nodded my head in understanding, but then asked him, "Won't you get in trouble?"

He shook his head slightly. "Half of them ditched as well."

"Oh," was my response. I nodded my head, closing my eyes and leaning against the tree trunk. Hesitating slightly, I slowly started in a casual tone, "I saw the latest issue of Perfect Paradise and What's What today." Those two were the biggest, most popular magazines in the world. If you got the front cover on those, you _know_ that you're big and famous around the world.

Shiki didn't respond, but I _swear_ that he smirked.

"…You're on both covers," I said in monotone. The two pictures were different—on Perfect Paradise, Shiki was wearing casual, but of course, brand-name clothing. His eyes were down, like he was staring at the floor, and one of his hands were behind his head with the elbow up in the air, like he was scratching his head. He didn't have any look besides the same charismatic boredom he always radiated, but his pose made him look like he was irritated with something or nervous.

On the second magazine cover, What's What, it was a picture of Shiki's face in profile. He had on a black hat that was slanted slightly to the side that showed his face, so part of his eyes were cut off, but it still looked completely fabulous. You could tell he was wearing a baggy black sweatshirt unzipped with a gray inside shirt, and through the thin material, you could _see_ his well muscled chest. I think that that's what they wanted with that shirt—uh huh. They were definitely trying to show the world just how great Shiki Senri was.

However, one thing about this month's magazine cover shocked me. "How come Rima-senpai isn't on either cover with you?" I asked him. I tried to keep my voice indifferent and uncaring, but you could definitely hear my curiosity leak into my tone.

Shiki shrugged his shoulders slightly, still looking blankly ahead. "The shots weren't very interesting, I suppose."

I resisted to the urge roll my eyes and say, _"Suuuurre…."_ In a sarcastic way. Saying any shots that involve Shiki Senri and Touya Rima weren't interesting was like saying horses didn't eat hay and preferred to feast on chicken eggs instead.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle from a nearby tree, but, to my surprise, I didn't even flinch. I don't know why—I just didn't. Although, I'm sure that I normally would've jumped up a little bit when I heard that. My eyes traveled to wear I heard it, and to my surprise, I saw Ichijou emerge from the trees in all his glory, the smile still on his face. However, he stopped when he was two meters away from us, and he blinked at us with confused emerald eyes.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asked, smiling slightly sheepishly.

I was horrified at what he said. _Interrupting_ something?! What the hell is running through Ichijou's mind?!

It was almost like Shiki was thinking in unison with me, because he voiced my _exact_ thought out loud. "_Interrupting_ something?" Shiki repeated my thought. "What the hell is running through your mind, Ichijou-senpai?"

"Nothing's going on," I deadpanned. But I reminded myself and my manners, and I bowed—or well, attempted to, since I'm sitting down—at him respectfully. "Good evening, Ichijou-senpai."

He held his hand up in a greeting, the cheerful smile once again on his face as he walked towards us. "Are you on patrolling duty at the moment?" Ichijou asked me curiously. "I thought your shift starts at midnight today."

If I were to lie, the chances that he would sniff it out was more than likely, so I decided to go for the truth. I have no shame—after all, it's not like I _told_ Shiki to meet me here or anything. "I wasn't able to sleep and I decided to stay here and wait until my prefect duties start," I replied honestly, though my voice was still lacking emotion.

Ichijou nodded his head thoughtfully. "Did I surprise you with my entrance? If I did, I apologize…"

However, I shook my head at him. "No," I reassured him. "It's fine."

The kind blonde nodded his head with a smile. "I'm glad." He paused slightly, and then grinned at me. "Don't you just love how the moon shines so beautifully?" It was obvious he was trying to get me to talk.

I nodded my head, not sure of what else to do. I decided on just agreeing with him. "Yes, it's lovely," I replied somewhat awkwardly.

He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. They remained closed as he exhaled out peacefully, a content smile on his face. "Do you mind if I ask you a question, Sasaki-san?" He asked, opening his emerald green eyes slowly as he turned his head to look at me with that same warm smile that I always see on there.

I looked up at him, but didn't respond.

Ichijou seemed to understand what I was trying to saw—he seemed really good with quiet and anti-social people. However, if he's close friends with Shiki and Rima, I can't say I'm surprised at it. The smile was still there as he asked, "Are you scared?" When he saw my blank expression, he chuckled and then decided to rephrase.

"Are you afraid of us? The Night Class, I mean, considering you know our secret?" Ichijou corrected himself. His jade eyes locked with my light amethyst ones.

Blinking like an idiot, I slowly shook my head. It wasn't a good move—it made me look like I was hesitant and unsure about my answers.

"Do you mind if I ask the reason why?" He inquired. "I don't want you to misunderstand—I'm extremely glad to know you aren't afraid of us, but I'm curious as to why not." The genuine smile full of curiosity was on his face.

My closed my eyes for a few seconds before I opened them slowly, gathering my scattered thoughts. Slowly and hesitantly, I started my explanation. "…I've been brought into the world of supposedly mythical creatures since the day I was born," I said slowly. "I was surrounded by vampires—good or bad—whether I liked and wanted it or not. I didn't have a choice but to accept the fact that vampires exist, and that Hunters exist to kill those who fell out of control.

"In all honesty, at first, I refused to believe there were any good vampires at all. Since I was young, I always compared real vampires to those displayed in movies and books, and I went on believing that all vampires were bloodsucking monsters."

I paused—it was weird, talking this much, I mean. I'm not used to giving such a long explanation, but I sucked it up and continued. "But over the years, I realized that wasn't the case. My point was proven when I fell and was caught by Shiki-senpai,"—My eyes flickered towards him and rested there for a few seconds—"And when I saw Kuran-senpai gently help Yuuki up, and the smile that you gave everyone, it was obvious you guys weren't evil.

"As strange as if may sound, many of the people in the Night Class, most of the time, seem to be very nice, and if not nice, they don't necessarily seem like people who would cause trouble. Honestly, I wasn't very comfortable on the first day—I had no idea what to make of you all. The fact that I've been… around vampires for my whole life seems to ease my fear. I suppose it's because I've already been used to being surrounded by vampires, or working with them, that I'm not necessarily cowering in fear at the moment."

Ichijou nodded his head thoughtfully, smiling kindly. "That makes perfect sense," he approved of my reason.

I smiled at him slightly. "I'm sorry about the… unclear explanation."

The grin that he had on his face told me he wasn't mad at me. "No, it was a really good reason. Don't worry about it, Sasaki-san."

"What did you need, Ichijou-senpai?" Shiki deadpanned.

"Oh, right!" Ichijou snapped his fingers, like a light bulb went off in his head. The cheerful smile was playing on his lips as he asked, "I was looking around for you in order to make sure of your answer to the Winter Dance."

I almost face-palmed myself in aggravation—what was _up_ with people nowadays? Can they _not_ tell that the whole Winter Dance thing isn't tomorrow, and instead, is _two and a half weeks_ away?! Why is everyone so pumped up for something that is so far away? You can _always_ go crazy the day before, because that seems natural, but when something is so far away? Like… Honestly.

"We don't have a choice," Shiki pointed out in uninterestedly.

"That's true," Ichijou mused, laughing slightly. "But you'll just leave early after a dance or two, won't you, Shiki-kun?"

Shiki nodded his head once.

Ichijou sighed, and then turned to me and asked conversationally, "Will you be going to the Winter Dance, Sasaki-san?" He asked curiously.

"Perhaps…" My sentence trailed off slightly, like I wanted to say something, but at the same time, I didn't.

The kind blonde seemed slightly surprised by my answer. "Perhaps?" He repeated, blinking.

I grimaced and wrinkled my nose slightly. "I dislike dressing up."

A small smirk seemed to curl up on Shiki's face, but I couldn't be sure. Ichijou, on the other hand, laughed freely, like I had said something completely hilarious.

"I think that, that was the first time I've heard a female say something like that," Ichijou grinned at me, showing off his ultra-white teeth. "Most girls in the Night Class and Day Class love to dress up, and sometimes overdo it."

I nodded my head, not knowing what else to do. Yet, I had to point out a fact for him to realize. "The Day Class females try hard and dress up for your sakes," I reminded them. Even though it's not really any of my business, they should _at least_ know that the only reasons the Day Class students try so hard to look good and spend so many hours in front of the mirror applying some kind of hundred-dollar makeup is just to impress these guys.

Both males nodded their heads, Ichijou more enthusiastically than Shiki.

"And because of that, I'm grateful in ways, and yet, slightly disturbed," Ichijou said sheepishly, laughing nervously as he rubbed the back of his back.

I nodded my head in understanding.

"I think you should go, Sasaki-san," Ichijou mused. "It'll be a lot of fun, and it's one of the few activities where both classes participate and interact with one another."

I practically see these guys every day, and I can actually visit them if I wanted to. I can "interact" with them anytime I wanted to, so going to the dance wouldn't necessarily be a big benefit for me. More like I'd be losing more than winning.

"And besides, I'm sure you'll have a great time dancing with your fellow classmates," Ichijou paused, grinning. "Or, if you have a crush on someone, it'd be a great way to get closer with one another." His emerald eyes flashed towards Shiki, who shot him a blank look, before they rested on me again.

I stared at him, and then deadpanned, "I… Don't have a crush."

Ichijou stared at me curiously, like what I said had just amused him.

Shiki turned his head and gave me one of those, "_Really?"_ looks.

"Did I say something wrong?" The blunt, idiotic question came out before I could stop myself from blurting it out.

Laughter danced in Ichijou's eyes as he stared at me, a large smile forming on his face as he said, "No."

Shiki simply shook his head.

Suddenly, a familiar head of silver hair emerged, follow by a head with dark brown hair.

"Yo, Yuuki-chan, Kiryuu-kun~" Ichijou waved at them, the cheerful smile on his face. "It's a nice evening, don't you two agree?"

"A-Ah, yes!" Yuuki spluttered, obviously surprised to see this scene. She quickly bowed in respect. "Good evening, Ichijou-senpai, Shiki-senpai."

Shiki turned his head and looked at me blankly, almost like he was saying, "_How come you can't greet us like how everyone else does, you freak?"_ When he finished giving me his look, he nodded at Yuuki and Zero, greeting them expressionlessly, "Good evening, Cross-san, Kiryuu-san."

Zero looked at them warily and nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Night Class," he greeted them bitterly. His eyes landed on me, and they flashed to Shiki, and back to me. His lavender eyes hardened, clouding over with slight confusion and disgust. He was probably dying to ask me what I was doing with two vampires _alone_, and let alone sitting close to one.

Knowing that it's probably the best to leave unless I wanted Zero to take things the wrong way and fire his Bloody Rose blindly, I stood up and pushed myself off the tree. I held my hand up in a silent greeting. Looking at Shiki for a second, I sighed internally and walked towards Yuuki and Zero.

Yuuki shot me a curious look, probably wondering why I was sitting next to Shiki.

"Let's go," Zero replied, turning around and preparing to walk away. "Prefect duty starts now."

"Yes, yes," Yuuki sighed. She bowed respectfully at the two members of the Night Class. "Have a good…" she paused, searching for the right words. "…night, Ichijou-senpai, Shiki-senpai." She looked at me, and when I nodded once, she began to bound after Zero.

Before I left, I decided to bid my farewells, too. I bowed, but then straightened myself up after a few seconds. I held up my hand, and said, "Goodbye, Shiki-senpai, Ichijou-senpai."

Ichijou smiled warmly and waved. "Good luck patrolling, Sasaki-san. Tell Yuuki-chan that I said goodbye, will you?"

I nodded my head.

"Bye," came Shiki's flat response. I looked at him once more before I shook my head internally and turned around, jumping up to grab onto a nearby tree branch in order to jump over the big tree root I fell over earlier. When I landed on safe ground again, I began to fast walk towards my designated area for patrolling. The stares of the two Night Class members burned holes in my back as I disappeared.

* * *

**A / N :**

Okay, so that concludes the third chapter! It _might_ seem like a filler chapter, but this one was kind of like the start of a friendship with Shiki and Ichijou--_sort of_. It also has a bit of information of Riku's past as well, so yeah. It also talks about the Winter Dance thats's going to come up later on. MUAHAHAHAHA... Who knows what'll happen _then_? -grins-

I hope that you guys enjoyed the third chapter! ;D

Special Thanks To... :

**MysticaWarrior, AiAkakoSukiRini, amer, Anonymous, Winser, Senri Shiki Fan, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, Ravern's Moon, basil795, and Sakura HaninoZuka!!x**

**For some strange reason, I can't type the name of my last reviewer T.T The name doesn't show up when I type it, so I apologize deeply to that reviewer! I would like you to know that I have read your review, and that I appreciate it very deeply. I apologize because I can't put your name in the list, and I hope you forgive me! D;  
**

Thank you so much to those people because they gave me the reviews I needed to continue writing! And also, thank you to everyone who story alerted / favourited!

I really love you guys xD I hope that you guys will continue to read my story and support me, as well as giving me feedback on my writing!

Please continue to read, and if you want to, please review asl well! ;D I'll continue to try hard~! ;D

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	4. Looking In The Mirror

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or anything like that.**

**A / N :**

Hello everyone! I'm actually kind of proud that I got an update in today. It's thanks to all your reviews that I'm writing so much xD I never would've dreamed about getting so many reviews. I want to thank you guys a lot because of that. I'm extremely grateful to all of you for supporting me!

Muahaha... From now on, questions are going to be popping up here and there. But, of course, it shall all be answered overtime as the story continues to unravel.

I'll stop talking and let you guys read the chapter xD I'm glad you liked the last chapter, by the way~ ;D

Read on, dear reader, read on.

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER F_O_U_R :**

_"Looking In The Mirror."

* * *

_

DAY THREE.

* * *

Yuuki stretched, a bright smile on her face. "I'll have to thank Chairman for letting us out to run errands for him. It's so much better than being stuck in class." She breathed in the fresh air deeply.

Zero looked up at the large clock-tower and noticed that it was almost time for us to head back. He looked at Yuuki and me, and then offered, "Do you want to get a parfait before we head back to the academy?"

"Can we?!" Yuuki asked excitedly, her cherry eyes gleaming as she stared at the indifferent Zero.

Zero analyzed her face carefully. "I'm not going to pay," he eventually said as he began walking towards—I'm assuming—where the parfait shop is located.

Yuuki pouted and nudged him with her shoulder. "You're going to make us pay for the desserts?" She complained. "What kind of a gentleman does that?"

"At least I offered to actually stay with you two," he grumbled, shifting the large box of coffee beans to his other hand.

"That's true," Yuuki murmured, slinging the large bag of groceries she had around carelessly as she began to prance ahead, eager to eat her parfait.

Zero and I walked side by side, watching her. She seemed like an energetic little child, with the attitude and the innocent expression.

I felt bad for Zero, though. He's carrying most of the things, and a lot of them are things that weigh quite a lot. Though he isn't the kind of person to complain, I think it still kind of bugs him. It's not like Zero's Superman or anything, it must be heavy for him. He's strong, sure, but even guys have their limits as to how much they can carry.

"What?" He asked, looking down at me.

I didn't even know I had been staring at him like an idiot until he said that. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to Yuuki. "It's nothing," I assured him.

Soon, the three of us reached the parfait shop and had taken our seats at a table. Yuuki looked over the menu very seriously, like what she ordered would change her life course. Zero wasn't going to order—he hated sweet things, and I wasn't hungry at all.

After Yuuki informed the waitress of her order, the auburn-haired waitress turned to look at the two of us curiously. "Are you two in the Night Class of Cross Academy?" Her eyes darted between Zero and I.  
Zero looked amazingly aggravated as he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the chatter of the waitress, who seemed to take both our silences the wrong way. You could practically see hearts in her eyes as she looked at Zero. She went on about how Night Class students have such a different vibe than Day Class students, which is true, but also kind of insulting.

By "vibe," did they mean a good vibe, or a bad one?

Since the waitress decided that she was going to stick around, I sighed almost inaudibly. Zero and I exchanged glances, and the two of us abruptly stood up, cutting the waitress off in mid-sentence. She blinked at us, confusion written across her face as she watched us pick up the items we were holding.

"Z-Zero? Riku?" Yuuki asked, her eyes wide as she watched us head towards the door.

"We'll wait outside for you, Yuuki," I told her blankly.

"Unless you won't be okay," Zero muttered, looking at her with a look that said, _"If you get into some sort of trouble in a parfait shop, I'm going to murder you."_

"N-No, I'll be fine," Yuuki reassured us. Her eyebrows furrowed together slightly, still confused on why we would suddenly leave.

When Zero and I were outside, we leaned against the glass window of the shop, where we could see and keep an eye on Yuuki.

"I _smell_ like them," Zero hissed out, frustration and aggravation tainting his tone as he glared at anything straight in front of him.

Knowing what he meant, I shrugged my shoulders slightly. Hoping to make him feel better, I deadpanned, "So?"

"I don't want to be put in the same league as those bloodsuckers," Zero glowered.

My eyes wandered towards the bright blue sky. "You're not," I told him simply. "People misunderstand things."

Zero's glower hardened and he shook his head slightly. "You don't understand," he growled through clenched teeth. "I'm _going_ to bec—"

Two loud, bloodcurdling screams cut Zero off.

"Zero," I whispered.

He nodded his head and placed the things he was carrying down quickly, and I followed his lead. We then rapidly ran towards the place where the screams were heard, hoping that it wasn't what we thought it was.

We rounded a corner into a dark alley, and continued running forward. A tall fence was in front of us, and without hesitating, Zero and I jumped up, grabbing onto the fence as high as we could before we started climbing. When we reached the top, we jumped down and turned right, where it lead to a street where nobody was.

Nobody... Except for the two bloody bodies that lay on the floor.

Zero and I wasted no time as we ran towards them, hoping that they were alive. It was disgusting, I have to admit—the clothes were soaked a deep crimson.

I looked over the bodies, panic running through my system though nothing was shown through my face. "Miss?" I asked hurriedly. There was no response, so I decided to say it louder. "_Miss_?!" When there was no response, I placed my hands on their chests, trying to feel the beating of their hearts. I could feel the blood stick to my hands from the clothes, and I tried my hardest not to wince or puke.

Luckily, their hearts were still beating.

"Zero, they're—"

"—Get down!"

Though I was surprised at the outburst from him, I tried my best to get down as quick as I could. I didn't dare turn around, but I knew what it was. Right before I heard the gunshot from Zero's Bloody Rose, I could _feel_ the warm breath of the Level E vampire on my neck, making me freeze. The loud bang of the gunshot was followed by a loud crashing sound and debris flying everywhere. I used my body to try and cover the two people lying on the floor, hoping that nothing harmful enough would fly this way and ruin their chances of survival.

I turned around, my heart still pumping loudly just in time to see the vampire suddenly turn to dust and fly away with the wind, only leaving the clothing behind.

"Are you okay?" Zero asked, glancing down at me.

I nodded my head, closing my eyes. "Thank you, Zero. I would've been a goner."

"There's no time for that," he said warily, still holding his Bloody Rose out. "There's two more."

I couldn't help myself as I blurted out, "_What_?"

"Get them out of here," Zero almost commanded, gesturing with one impatient hand towards the two female bodies on the floor. "I can handle this alone."

"Zero—"

"_Go_!" He intolerantly said, turning and shooting me a glare.

Not wanting to argue with Zero and distract him, I carefully sat one of the bodies up and put their arms around my neck, lifting one up piggy-back style. I then hooked my arms around that person's legs, and then lifted the other body up bridal style with a lot of difficulty. I might have an anti-vampire weapon and wield a sword, but I can't lift up two teenage bodies with ease.

I took a step forward, almost losing my balance straight away from the weight. I just wasn't strong enough to run away fast enough. Trying hard to not drop the bodies because my body was practically screaming at me to do so, I began to walk slowly away. My knees wobbled as I did so, and I had the feeling they were going to wear down soon.

I heard plenty of gunshots as Zero fired his Bloody Rose. I could hear him curse when he missed, and I could hear the Level E taunting him.

Trying hard not to just run and help Zero and drop the bodies, I focused straight forward, not looking back. This would be much easier with Yuuki—she was probably running around looking for us at the moment. But she might've heard the gunshots and be coming this way.

"Where are you going?" The rough, almost crazed voice of a Level E vampire made me stop in my tracks as it appeared in front of me, fangs glistening and eyes a bright red. "I still haven't drunk your tasty blood!" He screeched as he lunged towards me.

I was completely defenseless. Unless I decide I'm going to drop the two bodies right now and take out my sword and _maybe_ block it in time, I can't do anything. Even if I were to try and take my sword out, the chances that I'd make it fast enough was slim.

I couldn't help but curse as I closed my eyes and waited for the dreaded fangs to pierce my neck. Yet… It didn't come. Replacing the fangs, however, I could feel some small pieces of rubble graze my face, and I heard the loud _crash_ as something slammed into a nearby wall and broke it. I heard the putrid scratching sound as something metal ran along the brick walls.

And then two petrifying shrieks.

Hoping that when I open my eyes, I won't see myself having a sword to my neck and taken as a hostage, I cracked an eye open slowly, and then another one.

Shiki stood there in all his glory, not even a speck of dirt on his clothes, face, or hair. He looked completely bored as he stood there with what looked like a red whip coming out of his index finger. It slowly began to shrink smaller and smaller until it disappeared back from where it came from, which I'm going to assume is his finger. His blue eyes stared at me emotionlessly.

"Are you alright?"

Just as he said those words, my knees decided to give out on me. I fell onto the brick floor, my knees making impact on the stone floor first. That was _definitely _going to leave a bruise tomorrow.

"Sasaki-san?" His pair of legs in the white uniform appeared in front of me, and I lifted my face to stare up at him. He was looking at me, blinking his blue eyes in slight confusion. He crouched so that we were _almost_ eye level (He was too tall) and stared straight into my eyes. "Are you hurt?"

I could feel Zero and someone else beside me as I shook my head. "No," I murmured, staring down at the floor as I responded. My eyes darted up and met his as I whispered, "Thank you for saving me."

"It's our job," Shiki responded blandly.

"'Our'…?" I asked him quietly.

A cheerful voice made my head snap to my right, meeting familiar green eyes and blonde hair. "I'm glad you're alright, Sasaki-san!"

"Ichijou-senpai…?" I asked. Confusion tainted my tone as I looked in between Shiki and Ichijou, and then at Zero, who stared down at me.

"He helped me," Zero muttered, gesturing towards Ichijou, who held a sheathed sword in his hands.

"You were doing fine on your own, though," Ichijou observed happily. "Sorry I intruded."

Zero looked at Ichijou, almost like he was asking, "_Are you serious?_" But he didn't, and instead, looked back down at me. "Get up. Why are you on the floor?"

I glared at him. "Zero," I started, "Do you think I have the strength to run away while carrying two female bodies twice my size?" When he gave me a scowl, I continued. "My legs gave out."

I wasn't sure whether or not Zero knew that I wouldn't be able to carry them away—he probably did. He must've intended for me to get out of the battlefield just in case something bad happened, like the worse scenario. It was for my own protection, and I knew that Zero just didn't want anyone to get hurt, even if he had to face two Level E vampires alone. He knew he would be able to handle it, but he still didn't need to treat me like a baby.

When I looked up at Shiki, I was surprised to notice that his eyes weren't burning a bright red. I would've thought he was dying to sink his fangs into the bodies—Ichijou, too. But when I looked into Shiki's blue eyes, and then at Ichijou's emerald ones, I noticed that there wasn't even a faint tint of red or pink.

Shiki seemed to notice what I was thinking, because he deadpanned, "We aren't blood crazy."

I offered him a small, sheepish smile. "I didn't think that…"

"It was close." He said it like he knew exactly what I was thinking—it wasn't even a question. It was a statement that he knew I was thinking something along those lines.

My eyes shifted away, in an ashamed manner. "…Sorry," I murmured sincerely. I didn't want them to think I thought badly of them, because I don't. But it's just… surprising when there's a lot of blood everywhere and two vampires don't go nuts over it, since, of course, the blood tablets that they usually feed off of can't be very appetizing.

Zero looked at the two bodies. "What should we do about those?" He asked.

"It seems as though the Level E vampires were careless and let the blood run," Ichijou murmured, his tone worried. "We can't leave them here—they can die of blood loss, and yet, we can't take them to the doctor in case they find the hole punctures where the fangs sunk in." His sea green eyes looked at the two bodies.

"Don't you guys have some sort of healing technique or something?" Zero asked, aggravated.

Ichijou shook his head. "Only Kaname has something like that."

"It doesn't work on bite marks," Shiki added monotonously.

"_Great_," Zero muttered sarcastically under his breath.

All of a sudden, I saw a flash of pale blue and pale white, and a woman appeared in front of me.

Naturally, and driven by instinct, I scampered back a few steps, startled by her presence.

"Seiren," Shiki and Ichijou greeted in unison, both not sounding the least bit surprised.

She bowed slightly. "Kaname-sama sent me here in order to cover up any evidence."

Ichijou looked surprised. "But how will you do that?" He asked her, sounding fascinated.

She placed her head on top of one of the body's head, and suddenly, her hand glowed a dark purple. "By merely replacing their memories."

Glancing up at Zero, I noticed he had a slightly incredulous expression on his face. His lavender eyes darted to me, as if to say, _"Are you kidding me? That's how you're going to cover up the evidence?"_

"Can you stand?" Shiki asked me.

"…Can I let go of the bodies?" I inquired.

He looked at me blankly, like he was wondering if I was sane or not. But I guess he decided he should answer my question, because he nodded his head once, reassuring me that it was fine to let go of the bodies.

I retrieved my arms that were hooked under the female's shoulders and knees when I carried her bridal style, and I unlocked the other woman's arms from around my neck, and I let go of her knees, making sure she didn't fall over when I let her go. When I did all this, I couldn't help but stare at my completely blood-stained hands. They were completely red, and I could see that my uniform was also splattered with blood. My hair was also clumped together hideously due to the blood drying—I would need to take a long, long shower after this.

After, I attempted to stand up, but my legs were still too weak. They felt numb and frail, like they were drained of life-energy. When I got up half-way, I fell back down. I looked so pathetic I wanted to just smash my head into a wall or something.

Shiki blinked at me. "I suppose you can't stand," he muttered quietly to himself. He straightened himself out and then extended his hand. I, being an idiot, stared at it idiotically like I've never seen a hand before, or like I've never had someone offer to help me up.

Ichijou laughed. "Sasaki-san, Shiki-kun won't hurt you if you take his hand," he teased lightly.

I lowered my gaze to the floor. "It's not that," I muttered.

"Then what is it?" Zero asked, apparently deciding he should say something.

"…My hands are bloody…"

A minute or two of awkward silence filled the air.

Yep—I had probably just said the most idiotic thing in history. My point is totally proved when the awkward silence came. I should've just accepted Shiki's hand when he offered, and apologized later. Now, he'll probably be, "Oh, right," and then take his hand away like I'm some sort of venom. It's either that, or he'll force me to let him lick my hand clean and _then_ help me up, as repulsive as that sounds…

Out of nowhere, Shiki's pale hand grabbed mine firmly, and he yanked me upwards without warning. He did it so fluently, so fast, that I stumbled right into him.

Ignoring the fact that I was practically leaning against him and forcing my weight onto him, he deadpanned, "She can't go back out into the streets."

Ichijou nodded his head in agreement. "The citizens will be in a slight frenzy if they see her walking around all bloody."

"Then what do you suggest?" Zero asked somewhat bitterly.

"Zero," I blinked, realizing something. When he looked at me, I continued on. "…Yuuki's looking for us."

I saw realization hit him like a bull, although he didn't express much surprise on his face. I heard a string of profanities leave his mouth.

"Go," I told him, earning a glance from him. "I'll see you during the midnight patrols," I informed him.

He looked at me, mouthed the words "Thank you," secretly, and then said out loud, "Be careful." He ran back from the direction he came and soon disappeared into the darkness, but he glanced back at me over his shoulder.

When he was gone, Ichijou looked back at me, a cheerful smile on his face. "Kiryuu-kun seems like a decent person when you get to know him."

"He is," I agreed bluntly.

The smile didn't falter, even though how I said it seemed rude. Shiki and Ichijou must be really good friends in order for him to not get offended by blunt and flat replies. His eyes flashed down, and I saw the smile grow wider. When he looked back up, he asked, "Shiki-kun, Sasaki-san, does it feel nice to hold hands?" His voice was playful and teasing, and when he opened his eyes, I saw the humor and amusement dancing his green eyes.

I blinked at him, confused on the question. "…Pardon?" I asked idiotically.

Shiki seemed to catch on much more quickly than I did, because I saw his normally blank expression turn into one of slight incredulousness. Don't get me wrong—he didn't _look_ any different. His eyes were still blank, his face still expressionless, but he seemed to be screaming the vibe of disbelief.

"It's not like that, Ichijou-senpai," came the monotone reply.

The confusion was still in my voice. "…Pardon?" I repeated. My eyes looked down to where Ichijou had looked earlier—when his smile grew wider, and I realized what he meant when he asked the question. My eyes landed on my blood-red hand, which was still gripping onto Shiki's. I didn't even realize I had still been holding his hand—I thought I had let go after he helped me up.

I guess I didn't, and it took a little while before it finally sunk in that I was still holding his hand, and that Ichijou was thinking about some really, really wrong things.

"Holy _shit_," I couldn't help but blurt that out, my tone not holding the usual flatness in it. This time, my tone was coloured with surprise and disbelief. I tore my hand away him his like he had zapped me with electricity, blinking in shock.

By now, my composure was _completely_ lost. My cheeks flushed a dark red, and I began to splutter like an idiot, like how I used to four years ago. "Don't get the—I didn't… He offered—We weren't… What was going on—There's nothing… I—We—Him…" I was fumbling over my words, completely embarrassed. I almost bit my tongue because I was talking so fast in order to clear the strange thoughts infiltrating Ichijou's head.

Ichijou laughed hysterically at my bewildered and humiliated expression. There must've been something funny about how I was acting, because he was laughing like some sort of hyperactive hyena.

Shiki blinked down at his now blood-stained hand, which was still in the same position as it was as I ripped my hand away from his. He blinked up at me with his gorgeous azure eyes, and I saw the amusement flutter across his face and his eyes dance and flicker with laughter. I saw the corner of his lips twitch upwards like a smile or smirk threatened to appear, but he quickly forced it away.

My palm made contact with my cheek as I face-palmed myself, my fingers blocking one of my eyes as I attempted to gain my serenity back. Luckily for me, the blood on my hand was already dry, so I didn't smudge even more blood onto my face.

Coughing to try and conceal his laughter, Ichijou looked at me, clearly entertained. "Did I say something in order to make you so flustered?"

I hoped that my normal voice and tone would come back. "N-N—Yes," I stammered. Well, though it wasn't as emotionless as usual, I didn't necessarily sound like a panicked freak anymore. Excepting for stuttering the first part, it would've sounded calmer.

Ichijou chuckled. "I see," he grinned.

Wrinkling his delicate nose slightly, Shiki asked, "Is it alright to head back to the academy now?" He paused, staring at his bloody hand. "The blood feels bizarre and smells disgusting now that it's cold."

Nodding Ichijou looked at me. "It's best if you come with us back to the academy, Sasaki-san. We'll go through the forest that surrounds the town. Can you run?"

I nodded my head.

"Ah—it's too bad. You won't be needing to," Ichijou smiled at me warmly before he disappeared in a flash, reappearing on the top of the tall, wide stone wall built all around the town like a fence. It separated the town and the forest, and before I knew what was happening, Shiki latched an arm around my waist and held me close as he jumped up, landing gracefully and silently on the top, next to Ichijou.

Said blonde laughed at my disorientated expression, and he shifted his eyes to a nonchalant Shiki. "You didn't think we'd make you try and catch up to us while in a forest, did you?" He chuckled. "It's too easy to get lost or run into things. You don't mind if Shiki carries you, do you?"

I wanted to point out the fact that I _do_ mind, but I couldn't. The words got caught in my throat when I tried to say it. I stared at the two of them with blank expressions and opened my mouth to protest, but I quickly snapped it shut. I opened it again, realizing that if I didn't say anything this time, that I'd just be humiliating myself.

"_Carrying_ me?" I choked out.

Ichijou looked at me curiously. "Would you prefer Shiki piggy-back ride you…?"

"I can walk," I deadpanned. "I don't need to be carried."

He seemed to understand that it would be awkward, because the blonde nodded his head in understanding. "Well, then," he mused. "We'll just have to stick close to one another, then. Is that fine?" He looked at me, like he needed my approval.

"…If it's not too bothersome," I slowly murmured, my voice and face impassive.

Ichijou grinned at me and nodded. "Let Shiki carry you down from here, though."

"It's f—"

Before I could finish my sentence, Shiki had already jumped down, dragging me with him. When we landed onto the floor gently, he unlatched his arm from my waist.

"Thank you," I deadpanned at him.

"No problem," his response was bored.

"Shall we get going?" Ichijou smiled.

"Sure," I replied.

Shiki nodded his head, and then off we went.

* * *

I sighed as I rubbed a fluffy white towel in my hair—I had just finished my long, long shower. I had to wash my hair and condition it a _ton_ of times before I got it back to normal without any clumps. It was disgusting, I tell you—the water ran bloody red when I first went in. I felt nauseated—I thought I might actually puke.

Quickly putting on one of the spare uniforms that were provided, considering the one I previously wore was in the wash downstairs, I couldn't help but think back to the time we were in town. I had been completely useless at that time, and had to be saved _twice_. That was damaging my pride—and the fact that Shiki and I actually held hands—intentional or not? It was still awkward.

I stared down at the hand that he felt, and it still tingled slightly. I could practically feel the warmth and the smoothness of his skin as if he was holding it right now, and I couldn't help but be confused at this.

What was he _doing_ to me?

Shaking my head slightly, I looked in the mirror and dropped the towel in my hands right away. My eyes widened at the sight in the mirror. My heart hammered loudly in my chest, horror running through my veins. Adrenaline rushed through my body, and it wasn't the _good_ kind of adrenaline, like when you doing something fun and dangerous. No—it was the kind of adrenaline pumped through your system when you were frozen with heart-stopping _fear_.

My face was horrified as I looked in the mirror.

* * *

**A / N :**

Yes, that concludes the fourth chapter! Ooo... Are you guys gettig excited? xD Are you guys wondering what's going to happen now? Wondering what Riku saw in the mirror? Because, if you are, then I'm very, very proud of myself 'cause that's what I was aiming for when I wrote this. xP

This is where she begins to _subconsciously_ gain feelings for Shiki, I suppose. _Subconsciously_. And, they're just minor feelings, of course. She ain't in love yet or anything. Hell, she doesn't even know she has feelings for the guy.

In ways, this is where the "exciting" parts and whatnot start, or the "romance" will subtly begin. So, if you want to read some more ShikixRiku moments, keep yourself in tune and review for me -grins impishly-

Special Thanks To... :  
**  
AkashaCullen26, MysticaWarrior, Ravern's Moon, Shiroi Maboroshi, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, Anonymous, twilightchick13, DateWithHate, TheSneakyHobo, and His Harlequin Of Hate**

Yes, thank you very much for reviewing for me! Your reviews are what makes me continue writing and updating!

I hope that you guys will continue to read and review for me ;D I'm very thankful!

Well then... Until the next chapter! MUAHAHAHAHAHA -throws smoke bomb down and disappears mysteriously-

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	5. Verge Of Insanity

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or anything.**

**A / N :**

Hey everyone! thank you for all your fabulous reviews for the fourth chapter xD I left you guys hanging with a cliffhanger, and I decided to fast foward it to the next day so I wouldn't give anything away. It's making you think now, eh? ;3

I apologize for the update. It's later than the rest of the chapters, and I actually feel sort of guilty for it. But, because I made you guys wait longer than usual, I'll jusst shut up and let you guys read the fifth chapter! ;D

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER F_I_V_E :**

"_Verge of Insanity."_

* * *

DAY FOUR.

* * *

"Are you alright, Riku?" Yuuki asked, concerned as she looked at me. "You seem paler than usual… Are you feeling sick?"

I didn't respond. I continued to stare blankly at my history binder, like it wasn't there. It was mean to not answer Yuuki—I _knew_ that she was talking to me, and I could hear her. What I can't do, though, is respond to her.

She waved a hand in front of my face—biting her lip in worry. "Riku?" She whispered. "What's wrong? Why are you… Like a zombie?"

There was still no response from me. I continued to stare at my binder, my eyes unfocused.

"Answer me, Riku. Are you okay?" Yuuki pestered, her voice thick with worry as she placed her hand hesitantly on my shoulder and shook me gently. Her crimson eyes were sad when she looked at me, and carefully, she shook me harder, waiting for me to respond or move, or do _something_.

I didn't.

"What's wrong with Riku-chan today?" Yori asked quietly as she took her usual seat next to Yuuki. I felt her curious eyes burn into the side of my face as I didn't move or respond in any way.

"I don't know," Yuuki shook her head. "She's been like this the whole morning…" Yuuki trailed off, and then said hesitantly, "She didn't come to school for the first period. I was worried, so I went to her dorm and knocked, but nobody answered. Worried, I went and got the spare key that she gave me for safe-keeping incase she lost her original one. When I went inside, I noticed that she wasn't in bed or anything. I went into the washroom and saw her sitting on the floor leaning against the bathtub in her school uniform.

"She won't move or talk or anything—the only reason she's in class right now is because I dragged her here." Yuuki paused again, and then added on worriedly, "And she didn't show up for patrolling yesterday, either. Zero said that when he last saw her, she told him she'd be there."

Yori probably had a confused expression on her face, because her voice was perplexed. "Didn't the two of you go check on her when she didn't arrive for her duties?"

Yuuki shook her head. "I thought that she probably just didn't feel well or was tired, and Zero went and did something on his own. We both knew that she was safe, though."

"Riku-chan?" Yori's voice echoed inside my mind, but I couldn't respond. "_Riku-chan?_" There it was again—her voice ringing in my ears.

I felt Zero's eyes burning lasers into the back of my head, but I couldn't turn around and return the glare he was giving me. I couldn't do anything but sit there and stare blankly at the binder. I could hear my heart bumping blood through my veins, and I could hear my name being called, but I couldn't respond.

"And only a few years later, they—"

I could hear the teacher being interrupted by a knock on the door, and I could hear the deafening squeals of the female students when the person walked in with a message.

I tuned everything out—I didn't need to lift my head up to know it was someone from the Night Class. And even if I wanted to look and find out who it was, I couldn't. I was well aware when Yuuki stood up from the her seat, and that Zero did the same.

Two pairs of eyes were burning lasers at the front of my head whereas Zero burned lasers at the back of my head—it wasn't a good feeling.

Yuuki gently nudged me. "Riku? Are you listening, Riku? We need to go to the Chairman's office."

…We?

"_Sasaki_! Stand up from your seat and listen to the instructions and do what the Chairman said!" The scolding of the cruel teacher registered in my brain, and yet, I didn't move. My eyes were glued to my binder, and slowly, I blinked once, surprised at how much effort it took to just do that.

Someone grabbed my arm and yanked me out of my seat—I'm going to just _assume_ its Zero, because, you know, Yuuki loved to try and rip my arm off. I knew that I looked pathetic—I was probably limp like a doll.

Yuuki pulled me up and held my arm gently, whereas Zero just dragged me somewhere. I could hear the whispers around me from my fellow classmates as I got, _literally_, dragged out of the door by Zero, Yuuki following right behind me.

When we were out of the classroom, I heard someone shut the door. A pair of legs covered in the Night Class' uniform were in front of me, and then another pair of legs came into view.

"…What's wrong with her?" A familiar voice asked, blunt and flat.

I think Yuuki shook her head. "…I don't know," came her whispered response.

Someone gently knocked on my head with their knuckles, and I heard someone bend down beside me. Zero appeared in front of me, crouched. His lavender eyes stared straight into mine, hard, and confused. "Hey," he knocked on my head again. "Are you there?" When I didn't respond, he knocked on my head harder, but I hardly felt it.

"…What's _wrong_ with you?" He whispered.

I returned his stare blankly, and I could tell he was analyzing my face for any sign that I was joking, that maybe, just maybe, I was pulling some sort of prank on them. But he probably found none, because his eyes hardened and clouded over. He stood up from his crouched position, and I heard him mutter something under his breath.

I felt someone touch my shoulder. "Sasaki-san?" Ichijou's voice was right beside me. He gently shook me, but I didn't respond in the slightest.

"What did you two do?" Zero growled, his voice aggravated and angry.

"Nothing," Shiki replied monotonously.

I think Ichijou shook his head. "She was fine yesterday when we brought her to her dorm room."

"Like hell—"

Zero was cut off when Yuuki interrupted. "Let's go to the Chairman's office. While we're there to discuss whatever he wants to talk about, we can ask him if he knows what happened to Riku…" I could hear the concern seething out of her voice as she said the last part. Her face popped up in front of me, and her crimson eyes bored into my lavender ones. I stared blankly at her just like I did with Zero, and that made her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

I felt the stares from the four of them as I got dragged through the halls. We took a few turns and eventually, we came to a stop. But even though I wasn't looking, I knew that we weren't at the Chairman's office yet—his office was at the very top floor, and we didn't climb any stairs. I guess that's why we had stopped or something.

"You can't drag her up the stairs like that," Ichijou murmured, his voice worried. "I'm sure it'd be unpleasant and harm her."

I felt the grip Zero had on my arm tightened, but I didn't feel any pain. It was almost like someone had injected a needle to numb my entire body and drugged me.

"Then what should we do?" Yuuki asked, sighing softly. I felt her push back some hair that got into my face for me.

I felt Zero's hand on me disappear, and then I felt someone hook their arms under my knees and shoulders, carrying me bridal style. The uniform's sleeve as black, and there was a prefect band on it, so it had to be Zero that was carrying me—Yuuki wouldn't be able to do it so easily.

"Be careful, Zero," Yuuki said softly.

"I know," he stated.

I think Ichijou shook his head. "I think what Yuuki-chan means is to be gentle."

Zero didn't respond.

"Zero," Yuuki murmured quietly. I felt her place her hand on my shoulder gently. "You don't get it…" She paused, and I would've bet you anything that Zero gave her a look. "Look at Riku right now—she's obviously not okay, is she? When you carry her, be _careful_. I don't know why, but…" Yuuki trailed off.

"She looks delicate right now," Shiki finished Yuuki's sentence impassively. He paused for a second before he continued, "It's almost like one wrong, rough move and you'll break her."

"That's right, Kiryuu-kun," Ichijou agreed.

"Alright," I heard Zero mutter. I felt myself being carried up the stairs smoothly and fluently, but I could tell that Zero was being extra cautious on being gentle. He would look down at me every few seconds to make sure I was okay, and he made sure he didn't crash me into anything, like bang my head onto the banister as we made our way up the few flight of stairs towards the Chairman office.

I watched the walls blankly as Zero carried me. I blinked when I absolutely had to, and it seemed so hard to just blink. It was almost like someone put an invisible ten pound rock on my eyelids—I struggled to open my eyes again after they closed.

It wasn't much longer when I felt us stop in front of a large oak door. Someone knocked on the door three times, and I could make out the faint, "Come in~!" from Kaien. The door opened, and I saw the scenery change into that of Kaien's office.

The surprise in his voice was hard _not_ to hear. "W-W-What happened?! What happened to my poor Ri-chan?!" I heard him wail. His loud footsteps were coming closer and closer, and his sniffing as loud—he was dramatically crying again.

"B-Be careful, Chair—Daddy. Riku seems to be in a very fragile state right now, so try not to be rou—"

The chances that he ignored Yuuki completely were high. I felt myself being scooped out of Zero's arms and into someone else's. I felt myself being carried quickly somewhere, and then I heard the screeching as someone pulled a chair out or something. Kaien gently let me down into the chair, making sure to take extra care like Zero did.

Was I really so breakable looking?

I saw his face appear in front of me, his eyebrows slightly furrowed when he took in my expression. He lifted his hand and gently touched my cheek, and when he saw I didn't respond to it in anyway, his eyes narrowed slightly. His light caramel eyes were clouded with confusion and worry when he looked at me. "…Ri-chan?" He asked softly.

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Zero asked straight-forwardly.

Kaien's face twisted slightly and he slowly shook his head. "I'm not quite sure."

There was silence in the room, and it was so piercing you could hear a pin drop.

"…Why'd you call us here, Chairma—Daddy?" Yuuki asked quietly, breaking the tensed silence.

"I was planning to ask you _your_ stories on what happened yesterday in town—I got a brief report from Kaname-kun yesterday night and gathered you five here to ask you on what happened in details, but…" He paused, and he looked into my eyes with his light caramel ones again before he stood up straight and continued. "I don't think I can ask for the full story now that Ri-chan is in this state."

"'In this state'? What do you mean?" Yuuki asked, confused.

I think Kaien shook his head, but I can't be sure. He sighed, and he lifted his hand and rested it gently on the top of my head. "I don't know what's wrong with her," he paused. "But my best guess is that she's either in a state of shock, she's traumatized, or her body shut itself completely down whereas her mind is going on overdrive, completely haywire."

Well, he was probably right. I don't think there's another reason for how I'm acting—it's not like I _want_ to act like this zombie. It's not pleasant, having people talk about you like you're some sort of walking dead. Maybe they thought I died or something, but I'm sure they can still tell my heart is beating and that I was still breathing properly.

"Is there any way to snap her out of it?" Yuuki asked.

"…Maybe," Kaien sighed. "But do any of you have the faintest idea to why she's acting like this? In all the years I've known Ri-chan, she's never…" He trailed off, his stare burning holes on the top of my head. He had stopped because he would be lying if he continued.

He _had_ seen me like this before.

"She was just fine yesterday," Ichijou murmured quietly. "She didn't seem at all fazed when the Level E vampires appeared, and she was fine while we ran back to the academy."

"She was completely herself after the attack," Zero agreed, irritation seething through his tone. Someone slammed their hand, or fist, or whatever on the table and the loud _bang_ sound echoed throughout the room.

"Z-Zero…" Yuuki nervously mumbled.

I stared blankly ahead—I wanted to tell them I was okay. I wanted to tell them that nothing happened, that they don't need to worry. But I couldn't. Even though I can hear what they're saying and see what's happening around me, I couldn't move. I couldn't move any part of my body—blinking was the only thing I was capable of doing, and even _that_ needed a lot of effort.

What I saw yesterday in the mirror came back to me in quick flashes—flashes _so_ fast that, in fact, I couldn't even make it out anymore. Words sparked in my head about what I saw yesterday.

_Crimson.  
_

_Two.  
_

_Black.  
_

_Deadly.  
_

_Someone.  
_

_Her._

Even though I couldn't register what happened yesterday at this exact moment, I knew that the memory would be engraved into my head forever. As long as I lived, it would be in my memories. Whenever I slept, it would haunt me. It was horrible, but I couldn't stop thinking about it—not even if I wanted to.

Because of _her_.

I didn't even know I was staring at something different until I felt something hit my forehead. My vision was blurry, but through my glazed eyes I could make out Shiki's eyes that danced with slight confusion.

"...Why are you… Crying?" He asked, blinking his eyes at me. I was only aware that I had tears leaking out of my eyes and down my face when Shiki asked me that particular question. It's no wonder why my vision was blurry.

I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was drowning in my bathtub with my eyes open.

"Sasaki-san? …What happened…?" Shiki asked me warily. He was being cautious, like he was scared that even one wrong word would make me go insane.

I wanted to tell him I'm okay. That I'm not going to lose my sanity or anything and that the reason that I'm acting like this isn't important. But I knew that judging by the way they were acting, that they were right and I was wrong. The chances I would break down if they mentioned something about last night would make me go in some sort of crazy trance.

But I wanted to tell them I could hear him.

The only thing I succeeded in was not opening my mouth and talking, but a twitch of my index finger. I saw Shiki's eyes flash towards my hand before they flashed back towards me to look into my blank eyes. He stared at me warily.

"Are you able to comprehend what we're talking about?" He seemed genuinely curious, though it didn't show in his tone.

This time, my response to his question was a slight twitch from the corner of my mouth, like I wanted to smile.

"Shiki-kun, do you mind moving aside for a bit?" Kaien asked. I saw Shiki's eyes flash towards him, and the nod of his head. He straightened himself up, and the pair of legs covered from the Night Class' uniform was replaced by the outfit of the Chairman. He crouched in front of me so that we were eye-level, and he stared at me.

"Ri-chan? Can you respond?" He asked softly.

For some reason, my body didn't respond. It felt like someone had chained me up tightly, not allowing me to move and respond. My body didn't answer him—not even with a twitch of my finger or my mouth.  
Kaien's eyebrows furrowed together slightly. "Can you tell us what's wrong, Ri-chan?" His eyes searched my blank ones, and he realized I wasn't going to respond.

He stood up, and then asked, "Yuuki? Do you mind trying to talk to Ri-chan?"

"Sure," I heard Yuuki murmured. The face of the Chairman was replaced by the innocent, worried expression of Yuuki. She stared into my eyes with her wide, anxious red ones. I felt her put a hand on top of mine gently.

"Riku? Can you give us some signal you can hear us?" She asked me pleadingly. When no response came, she asked, "...Tell us you're okay. Please," she murmured quietly.

"…Let Kiryuu-kun try," Kaien murmured quietly.

The face of Zero appeared, and he leaned in closer, his face set in a glare. Through the hard, cold barriers he set up in his lavender eyes, I saw worry taint them slightly, but he did well to hide his emotions. I felt someone hit the top of my head—it was probably Zero. "Did you die?" He asked me in an almost sarcastic manner.

When no response came, he sighed almost inaudibly. "Respond or something, Riku." He knocked my head again, and then straightened himself up. I could practically hear him roll his eyes.

"My turn," I heard Ichijou say quietly. His usually bright, cheerful face popped up in front of mine, but this time, his face was in a slight frown. He looked at me seriously, his green eyes staring into mine.

"Sasaki-san?" He asked me quietly, pausing slightly. "Do you mind waking up and telling us what's wrong?"

When I tried to respond, I felt like something was restraining me like with the others. I couldn't respond to them or answer—my body felt too heavy. It was almost like I wasn't really even there anymore.

"Can you give us a signal?" Ichijou's kind, worried face made me want to try—it really did. I wanted to reply for everyone's sake, to snap out of this trance, but I couldn't. My body didn't seem to want to cooperate.

"Interesting," Kaien murmured quietly to himself. He paused, and I saw Ichijou look at the said person curiously. "The only person who got a response is Shiki-kun…" There was another pause. "Shiki-kun, try talking to her again, will you?"

I think Shiki nodded his head, because Ichijou's face disappeared as he straightened himself out and walked away, the cerulean-eyed male taking his place. The eyes blinked slowly at me.

"…Can you hear me?"

I wanted to scream yes. I wanted to tell him and everyone else that I could hear them, that I was fine. But for some reason, I couldn't. Not this time—I couldn't reply to Shiki this time, which is strange. It seemed easy to respond to him the first time he asked me, so why can't I reply now?

His eyes seemed to narrow slightly as he scrutinized my tear-dried face. "Open your mouth, Sasaki-san. Breathe—_respond_."

When I didn't, his eyes flickered away, and he stood up, his gorgeous face leaving my view.

"That's strange," Kaien pondered. "I wonder why…" He trailed off, and then said, "Shiki-kun, do you mind? I want to try again speaking with her again…"

I saw Shiki move farther and farther out of my line of view, and I don't know what happened, but I felt my arm dart out and grasp tightly onto his wrist. I felt tears fall down my face again, and somehow, I managed to choke out two words as my grip on Shiki's wrist tightened.

"…Don't go…"

I felt the surprised stares of the people in the room, and then after a little while, Shiki rewound his steps. He crouched in front of me again to make our eyes level, and he blinked at me. We stared at each other for a little while.

"Sasaki-san," he started, his voice still in monotone. "Do you mind loosening your grip on me? You're cutting off my blood circulation."

I seemed to be in more control now. Though it still took effort, I realized that I could move parts of my body now. In a very robotic manner, my grip on his wrist loosened. You could see the pauses my hand did when I moved—it was like I was a robot getting turned on for the first time and had stiff movements.

"Thank you," came his flat response. "I suppose this means you can hear us?"

Awkwardly, I lifted my head up slightly, and then let it fall back down normally in a very strange and awkward attempt to nod my head.

"…That's good," Shiki replied after he glanced off to the side where everyone else was. Why did I have the feeling that everyone was mouthing what he should say, and that he was just repeating what they told him to say or ask me?

"Can you speak?" He asked.

I blinked my eyes at him once like an idiot.

"I suppose that's a 'no'…" he deadpanned. His eyes flickered to the side again, and I saw his eyes narrow slightly at them. But after staring at them for a few long seconds, he turned his attention back to me. "Try talking to someone else, Sasaki-san. I'll be leav—"

"_NO!_"

Everything seemed to finally register in my mind. My gripped on Shiki's wrist tightened—I was holding onto him like he was my life source of something.

My body began to tremble violently, and the tears continued to fall down my face. In quick, fluid movements, I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in between my knees. My loose on Shiki's wrist drooped, and instead, I wrapped my arms around my legs. I rocked myself back and forth.

"S-Sorry," I mumbled out almost silently as I shook even more violently. My brain seemed to be going crazy—it was hard to think. But my body was working again, at least. I knew that I could at least move.  
I could practically _feel_ the surprise in the air.

"S-She… I… I-It… T-Two… S-S-S—M-mirror… M-M-Mirror…." I could hear myself, and even to my own ears, I sounded like some insane woman who got loaded on drugs. My voice trembled violently and cracked a lot. How I kept stuttering made me sound like my sanity was completely lost, and I could tell that I probably looked like it, too. But none of that mattered right now. None of it did as I long as it…

My thought broke halfway through, but it didn't matter. I could hear my heart beating loudly and quickly against my chest like a hammer, but it didn't matter, either.

The voices surrounding me were like a quiet buzz in the back of my head—I knew they were talking to me, I knew that they were somewhere trying to get me to calm down or something, but right now, it wasn't important.

Only one thought was in my mind—

—I needed a mirror.

I unwrapped my arms from my legs stiffly, and I grabbed the chair's armrests tightly. I pushed myself off the chair and would've fallen over if I didn't lean against the side of the chair for support. I couldn't see anything right now—the images around me and the people around me didn't record in my brain. The things around me were just blurs—none of it mattered.

"M-Mirror," I kept whispering to myself. I looked around the room, hoping to find a mirror somewhere. When I noticed that there was no mirror here, I stumbled like a drunk person towards the large window that Kaien had in his office. I had to grip and lean on random things for support—my feet seemed to be like jelly as I made my way to the glass window.

I gripped the ledge of the wall tightly when I reached it, and I looked at it. I saw my own reflection looking back at me in the window—nothing abnormal. There was nothing bizarre this time. A wave of complete relief washed throughout my system, and I turned around and leaned my back against the window, slowly letting myself sink down onto the floor.

"….It's not there," I whispered to myself. "She's not there anymore. I'm not… She's not here…" I whispered, my tears falling even faster down my face. My mind was still crazy, but it was slowly calming down.

"What… Happened…?" Shiki asked hesitantly. His voice was still flat, but he seemed to be careful of what he said. He crouched in front of me, his eyes burning into my face.

I didn't care.

It didn't matter.

I just needed someone.

Not caring it was someone I had met just four days ago, I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around Shiki, burying my face into his chest as I cried. It was embarrassing, but that didn't matter right now. I just needed someone to be there.

I could feel the shock radiating off of Shiki as I held onto him tightly, bawling my eyes out.

I heard Kaien sniff, like he was crying, too. "If only I was the one who stood in front of Ri-chan, I would be so much happier."

Nobody said anything, but after a minute or two, I felt Shiki hesitantly pat my back awkwardly, like he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Not even three seconds after he patted my back, I felt someone tear the two of us apart, and I blinked through my tears to see Kaien in between us, on his knees in front of me with his arms wide open. He had tears streaming down his face, too.

He wrapped his arms around me in a very fatherly way and stroked my hair like I was his own daughter. I gripped onto him tightly, crying into his chest.

"…Was it…?" He trailed off, already knowing the answer. When he felt me nod my head once, he sighed quietly. "Why did…?"

"I don't know," I choked out, shaking my head as I sobbed. "…I don't know, Cross-san, I… I don't know," I repeated myself pathetically, my body wracked with sobs.

"Calm down, Ri-chan," he soothed. "Maybe it was an hallucination…"

I shook my head faster and sobbed harder. "I-It wasn't!" I exclaimed. "I-I _f-f-felt_ her…" I stuttered.

I felt someone pat my back gently, and I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Yuuki smiling gently. "I'm glad you snapped out of it, Riku," she murmured softly.

"Stop crying already," Zero muttered. "You've done enough of that."

"…You're okay," Shiki stated.

"Don't worry, Sasaki-san—you're safe," Ichijou reassured me kindly, flashing me a smile.

I almost choked on air. I was so happy, so happy it was hard to put into words. The fact that everyone seems to be there for me—whether I seemed sane or not—makes me want to burst out into happy tears.

They didn't give up on attempting getting me to snap out of it, even though I wasn't being very cooperate. And even when I changed from freak-zombie to crazy-insane-brain-isn't-working-properly-sanity-lost mode, they still tried to help me.

My heart warmed at how nice everyone was to me, even though I didn't deserve it. I hardly knew Ichijou and Shiki, and yet, they stayed instead of bolting out of the room, too. That made my heart swell with happiness, and it was at this point in time when I realized just how grateful I should be.

"T-T-Thank you… e-everyone," I forced out through my tight throat, looking up at everyone with my overly-hideous face.

They merely smiled in response—with the exception of Shiki and Zero, of course. Those two merely stared at me, but whatever.

I had a feeling that I could become great friends with Shiki and Ichijou—especially after what they did for me today. I'll have to make it up to them.

To everyone._  
_

* * *

**A / N :**

Hehe, that concludes the chapter. It gave you a small glimpse of what she might've saw in the mirror that day. Is it making you think? Is it making you wonder? Do you have _any_ clue at all what she saw? Well, if you want to confirm your thoughts or just kill the tension that's hanging around inside you, review for meh and stick with this story 'cause you'll find out eventually xDD

Also, this is... I guess some extra special "bonding" that Ichijou, Shiki, and Riku did.

Special thanks to... :

**yuzuki0429, Mademoiselle Indigo, Shadowsnow, His Harlequin of Hate, Anonymous, Ravern's Moon, Nameless Memory, twilightchick13, basil795, Shaun-The-Sheep, and amer**

Yep! Thank you to those people, and also, thank you very much to those who favourited / story alerted!

Please continue to support me, and I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! ;D

Sit tight and wait for the next chapter, guys xD

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	6. Offering Three Favors

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight.**

**A / N :**

Hey, everyone! I'm so sorry that this chapter came out s much later than my usual ones. Since school's going to start soon, I've been watching anime and reading manga like a freak. I'm completely addicted, so I didn't have any spare time to write the chapter. I just finished editing it. I usually proofread my work at least twice, but this was just a one-time kinda thing, so if you spot any errors, please forgive me.

I apologize to everyone for getting the chapter out so late. It's been over a week D; I feel bad... But I couldn't resist, you know? Anime and manga just call out to me T.T It sucks that Vampire Knight ended... They should continue it =O Anyways, I'll stop rambling and just let you guys read the chapter, _but_ before that, I want to say one more thing.

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed_!

To be honest, I probably would've waited even longer to update if it weren't for your reviews that told em to update soon, so I thank you guys a bunch! ;D

Now, here is hapter six! :O

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER S_I_X : **

_"Offering Three Favors."

* * *

_

DAY FIVE.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" Yuuki asked me, staring at me with her poppy-red eyes. "It's fine if you want me to—it's not going to be trouble or anything."

I shook my head at her and offered her a small smile. "No, it's fine. Thank you for the offer, Yuuki."

She nodded her head hesitantly. "If you say so…" she murmured to herself.

"We'll check up on you when we can," Zero informed me nonchalantly, leaning against my doorframe. "And you can skip out on your prefect duties for today."

"…I thought that the fact I wouldn't be doing my prefect duties today was obvious the minute I informed you I wouldn't be going to school," I deadpanned at Zero, who stuffed his hands in his pockets. It made me wonder if he was trying to look cool or something—not that I'm saying he isn't. Zero's _completely_ cool—I mean, _duh—_he has fabulous white hair. How much cooler can someone _get_?

He shrugged his shoulders uncaring. "Just don't get into any idiotic situations."

"Don't hesitate to come find us if you need to, alright?" Yuuki reminded me, smiling. "Be careful."

I nodded my head and help my hand up in a silent goodbye. The two of them turned around and headed down the hall towards the flight of stairs that would lead them down—class was going to start soon.

"Yuuki? Zero?" I called after them.

"Yes?" Yuuki turned around, blinking her crimson eyes in both confusion and surprise. Zero turned around and looked at me indifferently.

Smiling a full smile sincerely, I said, "Thank you so much… For everything."

A grin was plastered on Yuuki's face as she nodded her head. Zero's lip twitched upwards, but he didn't say anything. He nodded, just like Yuuki, and turned around and began walking. Yuuki looked back at him, gave an exasperated sigh, and then waved once last time before she pivoted on her heel and chased after him.

I closed my dorm room door and sighed internally, leaning against it for a few seconds with my eyes closed. When I opened my eyes again, I walked towards my bed and was about to sit down on it and just rest.

Too bad I'm not that lucky.

There was a soft knock on my door, and for a moment, I wondered if I could just ignore it—it was probably just another female student trying to prank me or something. The thought of ignoring it, however, vanished when I heard a silky smooth voice.

"Open the door, Sasaki-san."

Surprised, I staggered off my bed and ran over to the door, yanking it open. I wondered if I was just imagining it, but I was proved wrong when I opened the door and revealed him leaning against the doorframe casually, his hands in his pockets just like Zero.

I blinked up at him as he held his hand up. "Hello."

_Hello_? More like…

"What're you _doing_ here?"

He put his index finger to his lips. "Shh—Keep it down. There are still some students here in the dorm."

Poking head out to see if anyone was in the hall, and fortunately, that nobody was, I turned my attention back to Shiki. In a blunt, flat whisper, I repeated, "What're you _doing_ here?"

He looked at me expressionlessly, and his eyes scrutinized my face. After a few seconds, he grimaced slightly, but still managing to look completely bored. "…I knew I should've entered through the window."

If I had been drinking some sort of liquid, it would be all over him right now. "_What_?"

"Am I allowed into your room, or am I forever to stand out here and talk?" Shiki asked, clearly being sarcastic.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but caught myself before I did so. Seeing no choice, I moved aside and gestured towards my bed. "Sit somewhere." I watched him as he pushed himself off the doorframe and entered my room gracefully and then seat himself on the edge of my bed, looking relaxed and casual.

I sighed quietly and closed the door behind me before leaning on it, staring at him suspiciously.

"Window?" I repeated, narrowing my eyes at him slightly as I warily made my way over to my bed. I debated within my mind whether or not I should sit on the floor or on my desk chair, but decided against it. After all, this _was_ my room and _my_ bed. I should be able to sit on my bed freely—with, or without, Shiki sitting there too.

Shiki shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I would've come into your room through your window, but it was locked. Judging by your reaction with the door entrance…" He paused and looked at me with those beautiful cobalt eyes.

"Would you have preferred the window?"

"No," I plopped down onto my bed and leaned against the headboard, sitting upright. I scowled slightly at him as I said, "That would make you look like a stalker."

He didn't respond, but he turned and looked at me, his eyes serious. They were analyzing me—looking for some sort of reaction or whatever he was looking for. His eyes darted from my face and he briefly looked me over before he turned his head away again.

My face was slightly tainted pink when I looked at myself. I was wearing my pajamas, and because I didn't have a roommate, I didn't bother wearing all the fancy kind with matching pants and shirt. Instead, I wore baggy black sweatpants—the kind that tightened around your ankles, and a baby-blue off-shoulder shirt on top of a black spaghetti-strap. The off-shoulder shirt, of course, was short-sleeved. Compared to how he looked—which is completely _gorgeous_ in _everything_ he was in, I felt very self-conscious.

Seeming to realize this, Shiki sighed slightly. "You look fine," he muttered, trying to reassure me. Unfortunately, he didn't sound very convincing or sincere. He didn't look like he actually meant it, either—not that I thought he would.

Not knowing whether to thank him or compliment him back, I settled for an awkward, "…You do, too."

The look he shot me seemed to scream the sentence, _"What kind of a response was that?"_ He blinked at me once, and then looked away. I wonder if I hurt his ego—but if I did, that would be kind of stupid. He should already _know_ he looks completely dazzling in everything and anything. Did he really need people to tell him that for him to realize it? If that's the case, you can throw him into a shark tank and just a glance would probably make all the sharks fall in love with him—his looks would probably kill them because they would've forgot to breathe through their gills.

"What're you _doing_ here?" I repeated for the third time. I've been saying that a _lot_ lately.

"Just checking up on you," his eyes looked around my room, and his eyes rested on the pile of magazines that I had next to my bed. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow slightly. Picking one up, he looked at the cover.

"You said you didn't read magazines," he accused, managing to keep his voice flat as he stared at the shiny cover. Of course, the cover was a picture of him, but this time, it was a picture of both him and Rima posing with umbrellas. Needless to say, they both looked completely amazing.

Almost like I was held guilty or something, I rammed my heel into the pile of magazines, pushing them under my bed while scattering them from their neat pile in the process. Not wanting to admit I actually borrowed all of those from Yuuki ever since I found out he was a super famous model on my second day, I changed the subject back to what we were talking about before.

"Checking up on me?"

Shiki stared at the cover of the magazine for a few more moments before he looked at me. "Do you want me to let you kick this under the bed as well?" He asked.

I glared at him. "Answer the question."

With a flick of his wrist, he threw the magazine so fast I almost didn't see it. It landed with a thud in the very center of my desk. "You seem fine," he commented blandly.

"…" I didn't respond for a few seconds at his statement. "...Yeah…" I trailed off awkwardly, fiddling with a strand of my hair.

"Are you feeling alright?" He inquired, shifting slightly onto the bed to make himself more comfortable. I wanted to tell him to _not_ get comfy because he was definitely not allowed in here, but he _did_ save my life the day before yesterday, so I couldn't object. And, to tell the truth, it's not _every day_ some sort of model god decides to pay you a visit.

…Not that I think of Shiki as a god.

…Psh… He's _totally_ not like a god…

My eyes flickered to his gorgeous face for a moment before I looked away and up at the plain wooden ceiling. "Yes," I answered softly.

"I see," he observed.

I couldn't help the sigh that escaped my lips as I turned my head slightly to look at him. "Shiki-senpai?"

"What is it?" He asked nonchalantly, not bothering to look at me as he stared out the window with slightly narrowed eyes. He blinked a couple of times before he pushed himself off my bed in one swift motion and walked over there, pulling the curtains to block out the sunlight.

"…Thank you," I muttered, slightly embarrassed. I had cried into his chest yesterday—well, until Kaien came and became his replacement—and I had only known him for about four days. He got to see me when I was most vulnerable, and instead of laughing at me and abandoning me, he and Ichijou stayed with me and tried to help me. Though they didn't know what was happening to me—I could've lost my sanity and attacked them for all they knew—they still stayed and tried their best.

And that made me explode with happiness.

Shiki's aquamarine eyes rested on me as he leaned against the wall next to my bed's headboard. His arms were folded across his chest as he looked at me blankly. "What for?"

"For… Everything," I explained. "…In ways, you're someone I can connect with. I was glad when you and Ichijou didn't leave when the four of you brought me to Cross-san's office. Naturally, I thought that the two of you would've left—"

He cut in. "—Sasaki-san," he started, keeping his voice low and flat. "You didn't see how horrible you looked yesterday. It would've been heartless if we left you in that state."

"Still," I muttered. "You have no idea how having you two there helped me."

He didn't say anything for a little while, but after a small pause, his voice came out almost hesitatingly. "I'm curious, Sasaki-san…" He looked at me, and when he saw me blink at him, waiting for his next sentence, he continued. "Why did you react to me more than anyone else?"

I shook my head slightly. "I don't know. It seemed easier to respond to you than anyone else."

"Who was hardest to respond to?" Shiki questioned.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. "…Yuuki."

There was no response, and it was just a quiet silence around us. He was absorbed in his own thoughts, and I was absorbed in mine. The thing that was disturbing me, though, was the fact that my thoughts were revolving around this maroon-haired model. I don't know why, but his words kept replaying in my head, his face kept flashing through my brain.

It was weird.

Shaking my head slightly, I tried to think about someone—_something_—else, and unfortunately, my mind wandered to what I saw in the mirror—the thing that made me lose control in the first place. I couldn't help but shudder slightly and wince at the thought. It was engraved into my head like a tattoo—I couldn't forget it.

"Have you been sleeping?" Shiki asked casually, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes. He asked it like he already knew the answer.

I wanted to lie and tell him that I _have_ been sleeping like a baby or a dead log. Of course, he would be able to detect that I was lying right away, so I didn't see the point. Why does he care, anyway? It's not like it's his concern—we're barely even friends, but… The thought of us _becoming_ friends didn't sound all that bad.

"No," I admitted impassively. Judging by how he asked it, I think it's safe to assume he had been completely spot on with his thoughts.

"You should," he responded, lifting his hand up towards my face. His index finger was almost touching below my eye, and the look in his eyes was that of caution. He pulled his hand back without touching my face, like if touching me would give him some sort of disease or if I was some sort of plague. Either way—he didn't make any contact, and for some strange reason, I wanted to frown at him for that.

Was I really _that_ crazy yesterday as to make him avoid making physical contact me?

His eyes flickered to lock with mine for a few seconds. "You have large bags under your eyes," he notified me.

Oh—so _that_ was why he touc—_pointed_ at the spot under my eyes. It was because I had large bags under there—well, I'm glad I didn't lie when he asked me, then. He would've won the argument anyways, considering he would've had proof.

"I can't," I almost growled. My eyes narrowed into a glower as I tilted my head up towards the ceiling.

"You're body's going to shut down soon." He spoke matter-of-factly.

Yeah—as if he'd knew exactly when my body would shut down. If he knows that, does he know the exact moment I decide to dunk his head in a toilet?

I held back a sarcastic response, and settled for a simple repetition. "I can't."

"You haven't tried."

His answer confused me. "And how would you know?" I asked him suspiciously, turning to scrutinize his face. His expression was still blank, the eyes uncaring. He simply looked like he always did—_bored_. Nothing like shame or guilt was on his face when I studied him warily. He merely looked back at me with an impassive face.

"I watched you the past two nights," he responded, no trace of indignity in his tone.

I almost fell off my bed. "Don't you have anything better to do than stalk me?!"

…Okay, well, truth be told? I'm actually kind of flattered he's been "watching" me the past two nights. Watching, stalking, what's the difference? Either way, he was keeping an eye on me. Though most people would find this awkward and disgusting—hello, _stalking?_—I can't say I'm one of those people.

When you find out that a super famous model that comes by the name _Shiki Senri_ checks up on you, you would be pretty damn pleased, too. Because, seriously. Shiki Senri, ladies.

Shiki—freaking—Senri.

"Who would want to stalk you?" He looked at my glowering face with his nonchalant eyes.

…And then the flattery got punched in the face.

I pretended to cough, mixing in a profanity or two in the mass of fake coughing. When finished, I glared up at Shiki, who looked at me with slight amusement. "Well, then, why have you been 'watching' me the past two nights?" I asked him, expecting him to just shrug it off and tell me it's not my business.

Or maybe he would respond by telling me that he was ordered to by the Kaname dude.

He shrugged his shoulders slightly and stared up at the ceiling, looking bored. "To check if you were fine." The corner of his mouth twitched downwards, but they quick quirked back up into place to form his usual expression.

"Why do you care?" I didn't mean for the question to sound _that_ rude, because I'm actually really grateful to Shiki. But when you combine how I worded it, and how unexpressive my voice was, that's exactly how it came out—_impolite_.

I wanted to dunk _my_ head in the toilet instead of dunking _his_.

Shiki looked at me for a few seconds before he looked away and shrugged again casually, like he didn't even notice the biting tone in my voice as I asked him. He seated himself back on my bed again—I had to pull my legs up to make him some room—and he leaned against the wall where my bed was pushed against. He stared blankly ahead, thinking for a few seconds before he finally responded.

"Partially due to orders."

"Partially?" I asked him skeptically, trying not to get my hopes up too high. I _kind of_ expect him to say something like, "Partially because we're friends," but I knew that it would never come out of his mouth. He would probably just say something that's related to the "orders" he got and stuff.

It was disappointing—I mean, after all, it's _him_—but I could live with it. It's not like I expected us to become friends in the first place.

He nodded his head once.

When he didn't tell me what the other half of his reason is, I began to press—but, of course, I made sure I didn't sound very interested. "And partially what?"

"Ichijou-senpai told me I should," he looked at me to see if I seemed offended.

I looked at him blankly. "Isn't that implied when you say 'orders'?" I asked him somewhat bitterly.

"You don't seem happy I'm taking time to look after you," he observed.

"Thanks for being my guardian angel," I told him sarcastically.

Deciding it was time for a topic change, he turned his head and looked at me. "What happened?" It was blunt.

"What?"

"What happened to make you be on the verge of insanity," he rephrased.

I wanted to face-palm myself or elbow him in the ribcage. I _knew_ that I looked on the verge of insanity and acted like it—normal people would've though I've been loaded on some sort of life-threatening drug—but he didn't necessarily need to say it so bluntly. He said it like… Like… Like it didn't matter. I don't know—there's just something about how he said it that makes me uneasy, like he isn't who he appears to be, and he thinks I'm not, either.

Oh, _totally_. I completely _acted_ as an insane sixteen-year-old girl because I wanted to get his sympathy. _Sure, _because, you know… I _so_ want him to think of me as some girl who doesn't think straight.

I shifted slightly, uncomfortable with this topic. "That's classified information. For now."

"Classified?" He repeated impassively, looking at me for a while before he shrugged his shoulders slightly. "You don't want to talk about it."

It wasn't a question.

Shaking my head, I responded, "…I'll tell you," it sounded like a promise. "…Just… Give me time."

I'm _never_ telling him. If he wants an answer to what happened, he'll have to wait an eternity, because boy? The answer ain't coming any anytime soon.

"That's fine," he replied coolly.

"Shiki-senpai?"

"Shiki is just fine."

He looked at me when I didn't respond, blinking at me. His eyes were still vacant, but I could see the transparent question they held : _Did I say something wrong?_ And of course he didn't—I'm just being an idiot.

I didn't need to use the honorific for his name? It's his last name, but still. It's not like I expected him to let me call him by his first name—I don't think anyone calls him by his first name except for his parents or siblings, if he has any. Either way, I'm pretty much shocked at the fact he's allowing me to call him by his last name like I've known him for a long time, which, in fact, I haven't.

Shifting uncomfortably, I wondered if I could kick Shiki off the bed and make it look accidental. After all, he's making me look like a complete idiot for his own benefits. I've been opening my mouth like ten times trying to say his name without the honorific, not succeeding at all.

Sighing internally, I stuttered out his name like a moron. "S-Shiki?"

He nodded his head in what I'm going to assume is approval. "What is it?"

"I owe you," I told him. When I saw him look at me blankly, I continued. "I owe you three favors,"—I held up three of my fingers to emphasize my point—"Which you can ask of me. Naturally, I'll have to do them whether I want to or not. And yes, the favor can be anything."

He quirked an eyebrow slightly. "Anything?"

"Nothing too extreme," I corrected myself hastily.

"Our definitions of 'extreme' are most likely different."

"Fine," I muttered. I bit on my lower lip slightly as I stared into his eyes, finding it hard to think properly. "For one thing, you can't make me break the law in any way."

He nodded his head in understanding.

"…Nothing inappropriate," I looked away from his eyes. "Like telling me to try and seduce someone or something." The last part grew into a soft mutter.

"You'd think I'd ask you to do something like that?" He blinked at me blankly. I don't know for sure, but I think it kind of offended him. I knew that Shiki wouldn't ask me to do something like that—it's completely _not him_, but I felt like I needed to add that in just in case he got dared to tell me to do that or something.

"No," I shook my head. "Just being cautious."

He waved his hand dismissively, waiting for my more "rules" of these favors.

Thinking, I tapped my chin with an index finger. "And not something extremely dangerous."

"Is that it?" He inquired.

I shrugged my shoulders slightly. "I can't think of anything else."

"Don't regret it," he muttered, shifting slightly on the bed.

I opened my mouth to say something, but was quickly interrupted by the loud, obviously impatient, knocking on the door. It was so sudden that I almost jumped.

Shiki glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "I should leave."

"No, its fine," I stated.

He raised an eyebrow at me slightly and watched me as I grudgingly climbed out of my bed, almost falling onto the floor because my legs were tangled with the blanket. After getting out of bed like a freak, I walked towards the door, internally sighing. The person was knocking every half second, and I could tell that they wouldn't be going away any time soon.

When I reached the door, I turned back and gave Shiki a look, telling him to hide somewhere if they barge in without my permission. Luckily, my bed isn't in the plain sight of the door. When he nodded his head slightly in understanding, I slowly turned the knob.

"Where _is_ he?!" A bunch of girls screamed in unison.

I looked at them blankly.

"Where is Shiki-senpai?" They chorused together.

"Someone said they saw him!"

"I heard his voice!"

"I could've sworn that he was here!"

"Let us see him!"

Seeing where this was going, I blinked at them for a second before my face turned into a glare. Hopefully, lasers would be coming out of my eyes to burn every fan-girl here. They all shut up when they saw I was unhappy and they instinctively took small steps back.

Good choice.

Instead of bothering to say anything, I glared at anyone who stared at me, and I kicked at people's feet if they were close enough, telling them to back away. When they were all at least a meter away from my dorm room, I grabbed the doorknob and slammed the door shut loudly in their faces, hoping they got the message. I locked the door before I walked back and took my place on the bed.

"Nice," he complimented me dully.

I ignored him completely and reached under my bed, picking up a random magazine and looking at the front cover. It was another cover with Rima and Shiki on the front, this time it was a picture of them sitting together in a restaurant having dinner with each other. Everyone who was eating dinner there was staring at them with wide-eyes, obviously ecstatic to see the real models in real life. In bright, bold letters, the headline said : FAMOUS MODELS SHIKI SENRI AND TOUYA RIMA… DATING?! When I looked at the bottom of the cover, it said to turn the page for more information.

Amused, I turned the page, only to be met with a bunch of pictures and a long article. I blinked at it and began to read.

_It's not surprising that those two are seem eating dinner together. It shouldn't even be a surprise if those two hot models are dating! They claim to be close friends, but they act much more like lovers. Having dinner together? And __alone__? This has caused an uproar all throughout Japan as his fan's hearts are broken at the thought of their idol dating someone else._

My eyes scanned the page and rested on an interview that had taken place the very next day the picture was taken.

_During an interview after the night those two had dinner together, questions revolving around their relationship was obviously asked.  
_

_Q : What is your relationship with one another?  
_

_"We're close friends." –Shiki Senri.  
_

_"We're merely close friends, nothing more." –Touya Rima.  
_

_Q : Are you two, or have you two ever have been, dating?  
_

_"No." –Shiki Senri.  
_

_"Never." – Touya Rima.  
_

_Q: Would you care to explain why you two are always acting like a couple, if you two don't share romantic feelings for one another?  
_

_"We don't act like a couple. It's natural to hang around with your close friends." – Shiki Senri.  
_

_"People have different opinions of couple-like behavior. In our minds, eating dinner and hanging out is something naturally done." –Touya Rima.  
_

_Q : What do you have to say to your fans out there regarding the rumors flying around that you two are currently dating and irrevocably in love with one another, though not expressed in public?  
_

_"Rumors are rumors—you shouldn't believe it considering it might be false. Rima and I aren't dating and we aren't in love with one another." –Shiki Senri.  
_

_"Shiki and I have known each other for a long time and have been friends since then. Due to the long friendship, we've simply formed a bond, and that's all. I don't love Shiki in ways like that, and we definitely aren't dating." –Touya Rima._

The whole question and answer thing went on and on, with pictures of the interview. As usual, Shiki had the impassive face on as he answered, and so did Rima. In fact, those two looked completely bored, but it seemed to suit them so well.

I'm sure that anyone who watched the interview was dazzled by Shiki and Rima's charismatic eyes—I would be, too. In fact, if I didn't avoid eye contact with Shiki so much, I'd probably be so mesmerized that I would run into a wall and crack my skull open without realizing it.

I found this amusing, though—how everyone gets the impression that they're dating. I'm not going to lie; I thought that they were dating as well. There's just a vibe around those two, like they know each other inside out. I wouldn't even be the least bit shocked if those two could finish each other's sentences or thought things in unison. They seem to have such similar personalities, it's almost like they were born to be together.

I looked at the date of this, and my eyes widened slightly. It was just last month.

"Interested?" Shiki's bored voice brought me out of my own little world. I realized that he was reading the article over my shoulder.

"It's somewhat amusing," I grumbled, closing the magazine. I slid off my bed and lay down on the floor, peering under my bed. I gathered all the scattered magazines there, clawing them out into the open so that it'd be easier to stack. Some of the magazines were so far back that I had to slide under the bed frame in order to retrieve them, and I could imagine how silly it looked. Practically my whole body was swallowed, so imagine two legs from the knees down to the feet were sticking out.

When I finished, I crawled out from under there, wrinkling my nose slightly from the dust. I fixed my shirt and began to stack the magazines into a neat pile like it was before Shiki came—unexpectedly, I may add.

Turning my eyes to Shiki, I saw him rub one of his eyes gently with his index finger, and I realized that he's a vampire. It's around nine-thirty in the morning—he should be sleeping at the moment. We were talking longer than I thought we would, and even though I hated to admit it, I didn't want him to leave.

But when I looked at his expression—which was still bored—he looked sort of tired, and I felt guilty for keeping him here. If it weren't for the fact that he's already done so much for me, I would've asked him to stay longer, even if I knew he was tired. So, when I take all that's happened into account, I realized I can't keep him here, no matter how much I want to.

"Bye, Shiki," I said out of the blue.

"Pardon?" he asked, sounding slightly confused.

"It's time for you to go," I announced flatly. "It's the daytime, you're supposed to sleep." I plopped myself down onto my bed, slipping under the covers and pressing my face into my pillow.

Repeating what I said just a few moments ago, I said, "Bye, Shiki."

"What are you doing?" He looked at me blankly.

Blinking, I sat up and looked at him. "I'm getting ready to sleep," I told him dully. "And you should, too."

"I'm fine."

"You're tired. I can tell."

He shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"Leave," I sighed quietly. "We could both use some much-needed sleep." And that was _so_ true. I felt like sleeping for a thousand years or so—it might not even be enough. I was so sleepy I felt like I could stay asleep forever and ever and ever. I wouldn't mind; I can drift off into my own little happy place where things are a lot more… Well, perfect, I suppose. And I completely _adore_ my happy place.

After all, it's my _happy place._

He had already opened the window and was poised ready to leave before I even finished my sentence.

Talk about wanting to get away from me as soon as possible.

"Goodnig—" I paused, not knowing how to say it. Either way, I settled for a, "Goodnight, Shiki. Sweet dreams."

He looked over his shoulder. "Goodnight, Sasaki-san."

"I'll see you tomorrow…" I didn't even know I had said that until he gave me a blank look. I thought I had something wrong and began to correct myself. "Um… I meant to say that I'll see you ar—"

He interrupted. "I'll see you tomorrow," he confirmed.

"You're kidding." My response was idiotic.

He shook his head slightly.

I couldn't help but stare at him blankly. After a minute of staring at each other, I merely brushed it off my shoulder. Nodding, I held my hand up in a silent goodbye.

He returned the gesture, and in a flash, he had jumped out of the window, managing to close it quietly behind him as he did so. I stared at the spot where he left for a few moments before I laid on my back completely.

Why did I have a feeling that my happy place is going to change?

* * *

**A / N :**

Okay, that's the end of this chapter. You _might_ not get what it's about, but read the title xD _Remember_ that she's offering him three favors, 'cause Shiki _will_ use the favors later on in the story. This was basically some more bonding time and giving you a little bit more answers, or rather, _hints_ of answers. This'll chapter also talks about Rima; of course, there _will_ be Rima action later on... I think. xD

You guys aren't mad at me for updating slow, right? -Gives you guys puppy-dog eyes-

Special Thanks To... :

**His Harlequin of Hate, yuzuki0429, Anonymous, Vampyrenin Writer, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, amer, athanasiamikee, Bella's Sister, lunauchiha2, AiAkakoSukiRini, Serena Lockhart, twindarkstar.05**

I really appreciated your reviews! So thank you very, very much. Also, thank you to everyone who story alerted / favourited! ;D

Okay, there's something that I've been wanting to ask you guys, and **_This Is_**_** Important!**_

This is the **_IMPORTANT_** thing that I want to ask you guys... :

Who thinks that Shiki is being OOC in this story?

Of course, I, personally, don't think that he's too OOC, but I'm being biased. I'm not sure what everyone else thinks, and this is an important thing in the story. I don't want any of the characters being OOC, so I've been trying hard to keep them in character. I want to know so I can imporve on my writing, so I would _love_ it if you guys gave me your opinions in your reviews or something. Okay? I need to knwo this kinda thing. I've been putting it off--asking you guys, I mean--for a long time. So I decided it was finally time, after six chapters, to ask you about it.

Please tell me what you guys think about this!

Well... That was all I wanted to talk about LOL. It might be stupid, but it's important to me, so... Yeah.

Also, _please review_ and continue to support me!

Thank you, once again, to my dear eaders and reviewers! ;D

-Throws rose petals into the air in millions and then disappears-

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	7. Unanswered Questions

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or Vampire Knight Guilty. I don't own the characters, either.**

**A / N :**

Omg, I apologize! This is another late update! Much, much later than I would've liked. It's just that school's starting for me soon, and I'm busy rushing around trying to prepare. It doesn't really help when my friends are constantly calling me or appearing at my doorstep asking me to go out and hang with them. I hope that you guys will forgive me for updating so late! D;

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, by the way. I was very happy when I read them, and it made me want to update as soon as I could, so here's the next chapter! ;D

I hope that you guys will enjoy this. It'll give you _some_ hint of answers towards Riku!

So read on, dear readers, read on...

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER S_E_V_E_N : **

_"Unanswered Questions."

* * *

_

DAY SIX.

* * *

I've been receiving glares the whole morning. How utterly _annoying_.

"_Cross! Kiryuu!"_ The math teacher, Kasamatsu-sensei, barked as he slammed his large textbook down in front of Yuuki, who didn't even flinch. Her head was on resting on the desk, her hair sprawled out everywhere. You could see her chest heave as she took deep, even breaths. She nuzzled the desk for a few seconds and then sighed contentedly—I probably didn't want to know what she's thinking about.

Yori placed her hand on Yuuki's shoulder and shook her, attempting to wake the girl up. Fortunately, Yuuki snapped right out of her dream.

"Why are you leaving—" She stopped abruptly when she saw all the strange stares she was getting and the glare of the teacher. Instantly, she sat back down, ducking her head low. "Sorry, Kasamatsu-sensei," she murmured, sounding embarrassed.

Kasamatsu-sensei clearly wasn't in a good mood today, but when you look at it, he _never_ is. The grimace on his face is never wiped off, and it's kind of interesting. He's only around thirty—he doesn't have _that_ many wrinkles yet, and for someone that age, he doesn't really look that bad. You know, it's the usual—brown hair, brown eyes… Typical, but his broad shoulders made it look better.

Scowling, he slammed his textbook loudly against the wooden desk again. "Don't sleep in my class!" He snapped, turning his glare at Zero, who had bolted awake when Mr. Grouch first slammed the textbook down in front of Yuuki. Zero just looked back at him nonchalantly, almost like he was silently telling Kasamatsu-sensei to bring it on.

Funny thought—Zero and Kasamatsu-sensei in a physical fight? There's no doubt that Zero would be the one to come out victorious and completely fine. Kasamatsu-sensei might have a tough personality, but I highly doubt he's gotten trained in hand-to-hand combat like Zero has.

The corner of my lips twitched upwards when I imagined Zero and Kasamatsu-sensei poised to attack each other. It was quite hilarious, really.

Mr. Grouch snapped his glare over to me, slamming his stupid textbook down on the desk for the _third_ time. "And _you_, Sasaki!" He growled. "Pay attention in class! If your grade in my class slips any lower you're going to fail!" As to emphasize his point on the word "fail" he slammed down his textbook.

_Again_.

I wanted to tell just grab the textbook out of his hands, pour ten bottles of oil all over it, and then tie Kasamatsu-sensei into a chair and make him watch as I burned his annoying little textbook alive. Let him suffer like how he makes everyone else in here suffer. It's a miracle he isn't dead yet with all the death glares we all give him behind his back. If he wasn't someone who would try and get you expelled, everyone would probably be throwing spitballs at him and throwing buckets of goop over his head.

I merely looked away him his glare. "Yes, Kasamatsu-sensei."

Who would pay attention to the most boring class in the universe?

He glowered at Yuuki, Zero, and I one last time before he walked back to the front of the classroom and began to lecture us some more about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

Most, if not all, females I've seen this morning have glared lasers at me. I don't know why—I mean, I've never necessarily been _liked_ by any of the girls, considering I'm anti-social and everything, but they've never _glared_ at me like that before unless I'm doing my prefect duties.

Something about the Night Class or something is involved if they're so determined to kill me with their eyes.

After sleeping for the whole morning and afternoon yesterday, I woke up at around supper time. I had eaten, taken a shower, and then basically just fell back asleep until my alarm clock rang this morning, telling me to get my lazy butt up. I never thought that I'd feel so _good_—isn't it amazing what wonders sleep can do for you? I mean, really. I feel awesome—super refreshed.

By now, Yuuki and Zero had accepted the fact that I was back to my anti-social, regular self. Not regular as in how I was four years ago, but not the insane, brain-fried person I was two days ago. I don't know what Shiki and Ichijou thought—I haven't seen Ichijou at all. Shiki, on the other hand, didn't make it clear on if he still thinks I'm some freak, or if he knows I'm fine.

Speaking of which—Shiki's weird. Did I ever tell myself that yet?

Well, I just did.

There's just something about him—not sure what it is, and I'm probably never going to find out. Or maybe it's just me.

Feeling someone burn holes at the back of my head, I turned around and met a fierce glare of a female student. I didn't know what else to do but to glower back.

Didn't they get tired of squinting their eyes at the back of someone's head? I mean, I get tired of it after a while.

Eventually, I just gave up glaring at her. I could feel a ton of other glares burning my back and my head, so it was pretty much pointless. I glanced up at the clock at the front of the room, and realized that in about three seconds, we would be able to escape this classroom of hell.

Kasamatsu-sensei tapped the board with his white chalk loudly. He looked at us with the same scowl on his face, and then decided to torture us. "The homework due tomorrow is page two hundred sixty-seven numbers one to twenty, and then page two hundred sixty-eight numbers one to thirty-five."

Thankfully, the bell rang, and he waved his hand impatiently—he was probably eager to go check to make sure that all the teachers didn't lay a finger on his precious math puzzle he had in the teacher's lounge.

"Class dismissed."

Breathing a sigh of relief internally, I stood up and stretched my legs. Thankfully, we didn't have to gather our belongings, considering we never changed classrooms. Isn't it awesome how the different teachers come to us instead of us going to them?

"I'm glad it's time for lunch," Yuuki mumbled sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.

"Did you and Zero-kun have a rough time patrolling yesterday night?" Yori asked curiously, glancing at Zero, who was still sitting in his seat, leaning against the back of the large bench-like seats, his eyes closed. It looked like he was sleeping.

Yuuki nodded her head slowly. "Sort of—there were a lot of Day Class students this time since they found out Riku wouldn't be able to do her shift."

"Sorry," I apologized, blinking. I didn't know they had a hard time—I didn't even know how everyone found out I wouldn't be on patrolling duty. I don't recall telling anyone… It just goes to show you how news spreads like wild fire here.

Yuuki shook her head and waved her hand in front of her face. "No, no, it's not your fault," she reassured me, smiling tiredly.

I didn't believe her, but I didn't say anything. I looked around the room and noticed that none of the female students have left yet—they were standing up glaring daggers at me.

"Zero," I shook his shoulder, making his eyes snap open. "Lunch," I told him.

He scowled and swatted my hand away, pushing himself up. He looked grumpy—I don't think he's happy that I woke him from his nap. He and Yuuki both had bags under their eyes…

I sighed internally and my face twisted slightly for a second before it turned back to the blank, impassive face I always had on. I felt a new pair of eyes burning my skin away, so I looked up towards the source.

Blank lavender eyes met nonchalant cerulean ones, and I almost tripped over the leg of the long table.

He nodded his head in a greeting, lifting his hand up. "Yo," he said casually. He was leaning against the doorframe, one of his hands stuffed in his pockets. Needless to say—he looked completely beautiful.

A lot of the girls squealed and began whispering to each other.

_"I wonder who he's talking to!"  
_

_"I bet you he's talking to me."  
_

_"Why do you think he's here?"  
_

_"He looks so cute!"  
_

_"He doesn't look cute, stupid. He looks __sexy__._"

I almost banged my head against Yuuki's when I heard all the whispers. I looked around, confused. I had _no_ idea who he was talking to, actually. _Excuse_ me, but my first assumption was myself—I know, I'm shallow. But then I realized that the classroom was practically full still, so that means he could be talking to anyone.

I almost face-palmed myself for being an idiot.

When I looked up, I saw him blink. He pointed his finger at someone—it was in my general direction. But when you look at it, I'm standing right next to Yuuki and Zero. I looked behind me, blinking my eyes blankly as I searched for who he was trying to talk to. When I saw that nobody was behind me, I turned and shot dull looks at Zero and Yuuki.

A sigh or something escaped his mouth, and he pushed himself off the wall smoothly. He began walking towards the three of us, his footsteps hardly making any sound. I blinked at him, clearly not getting what was going on.

Shiki stopped when he was in front of me. He looked like he was going to say something, but Yuuki greeted him.

"Good afternoon, Shiki-senpai," she bowed at him respectfully. Zero just looked at him warily.

He nodded his head and them. "Cross-san, Kiryuu-san." He turned to look at me with a blank expression. "Are you blind?" He asked me nonchalantly.

"Pardon?" I didn't even bother greeting him this time.

"…Maybe you're just too much of an idiot to realize I was pointing at you," he mused coolly, staring down at me with that same, bored look on his face. Would that look ever disappear? I don't think I've ever seen Shiki smile or something. Seriously—all I see is that bored expression. Even when he's confused or surprised or whatever, the bored expression never leaves his face. It gets irritating sometimes.

"…" I didn't respond for a few seconds. I just blinked at him, not knowing what to say. I had a _bunch_ of things to ask him, but eventually, I just settled for the typical, "What are you _doing_ here?"

His eyes scrutinized my face for a few seconds. "What does it look like?" He retorted.

"It looks like you're trying to get me killed."

"I'm taking you out to lunch."

I choked on air, and if I had been drinking something, or eating something like mango pudding, the contents would be splattered all over Shiki, and that would've definitely been a sight to see. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything in my mouth, so I settled for almost spitting on him.

"You're _what_?"

His lips twitched into a minor grimace for a few seconds before they regained their normal position. "Taking you out to lunch."

"Out to—We can't leave school grounds," I protested indifferently. Ah—I can't believe I'm being an idiot. I may not be looking for a romantic relationship or anything, but _damn_. I didn't want to turn down the only self-proclaimed date with the oh-so-famous Shiki Senri.

He looked at me like I was an idiot. "We're going to eat lunch together," he rephrased himself, looking at me like he wanted to ask if I was satisfied with his answer now that he corrected himself.

"What? _Why_?" I couldn't help but interrogate him on this sudden… Er… Information? Because he wasn't really requesting it—by the way he said it, and how it sounded, it was clear I didn't have a choice. He would probably just drag me with him if I resisted him or something.

He shrugged his shoulders casually. "I wanted to talk."

"Talk to a slice of cheese." I blurted it out before I could stop myself. He looked at me, amusement in his eyes, but his face remained bored. Wracking my brain for a better reason, I gestured to Zero and Yuuki, both of which were just staring and listening.

"I told Yuuki and Zero that I would be eating lunch with them today."

But Yuuki didn't seem to see my desperation to _not_ eat with Shiki. She quickly shook her head and waved her hands in front of her face, her red eyes gleaming. "No, no, Riku! You can go have lunch with Shiki-senpai, its okay. Zero and I don't mind."

I turned to Zero, hoping he could hear my silent plea of help. However, all he did was narrow his eyes at me almost in an accusing manner, like he wanted to ask me what the hell I've been doing the past two days to get Shiki here and offer to take me to lunch. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked at me, irritated.

"Whatever," he stated.

The thought running through is head is probably; _Why the hell are you hanging out with one of those bloodsuckers?_

I wanted to grab Kasamatsu-sensei's textbook, whack Zero unconscious with it, pour oil on both of them, and _then_ set them on fire. Zero was either enjoying watching me suffer, or he was just really, really not hearing my silent screams for him to help me.

"Do you have any other excuses?" Shiki asked me indifferently, blinking his eyes.

"They weren't _excu_—"

"Then let's go." He probably knew I wouldn't be following him on my own, so he reached out and grabbed my wrist, dragging me along with him. I knew it looked weird, and to though it felt nice to have him hold my wrist, it was still uncomfortable and awkward.

"I can walk, Shiki."

At that, he let go and began to walk down the halls, ignoring the glares directed at me or the hearts given to him.

I noticed we weren't going towards the cafeteria. "Are you trying to kidnap me?" I asked him bluntly.

"No," he muttered. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "We're going to the oak tree."

"…_Why_?" I couldn't help but ask the idiotic question.

Shiki looked at me like I was missing the obvious. "The sun harms my skin," he told me flatly.

Ooooooh, right, right! 'Cause you know, Shiki's skin is completely gorgeous and flawless—you can't let him stay in the sun too long or it'll give him sunburn. And because he's _such_ a great model, he can't risk anything like that happen to his precious face or neck, considering those were the only parts that weren't covered by the uniform.

Heavy sarcasm.

He should've just brought an umbrella or something.

By now, we had exited the building and were walking towards the specific area.

I looked around cautiously, noticing that nobody was around us. Well, there _were_ people around us—his fan-girls were watching us from afar, but that didn't matter. They weren't close enough to hear what Shiki and I would say to each other, anyways.

"Shiki, why aren't you asleep?"

He didn't respond for a few moments as we continued walking. After a few moments—I realized being quiet was much better than talking—we were pushing away the thin branches of trees jumping over large tree roots or logs. It was a lot shadier here than when we were walking out in the plain sun. I could tell that the weather would change soon—it's become less sunny and a lot cooler.

When we finally reached the clearing with the oak tree in it, he disappeared in a flash of white and reappeared sitting casually under the shade in his usual spot. He leaned against it and looked at me when I just stood there. He gestured to the spot next to him—if you counted two feet as _next_ to—and slowly, I made my way towards him, plopping myself down "beside" him.

He didn't seem to notice the distance I put between us, and he decided now, after around ten minutes, to answer the question I asked him. "Checking up on you—the usual."

"You don't have to." But I was _definitely_ flattered.

"I do—you get yourself into strange positions."

I was offended, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, I protested to his comment earlier. "If you're losing sleep, you don't need to check up on me."

"I'm fine," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure," I said to him sarcastically. I looked around and noticed something was missing. "Where's my lunch?" I asked him bluntly.

"I lied."

"Yeah? And I'm hungry."

He sighed and abruptly stood up. Watching him curiously, I saw him walk around the tree, and then come back with a picnic basket in his hands. He fell back down in a graceful motion, resuming his previous position. He dropped the basket down in between us and looked at me.

"Are you happy?" He asked, clearly sarcastic.

"…Picnic basket…?" Came my question.

"Don't eat anything if you don't want to."

I didn't know how to tell him I would gladly accept the food that he took the time to gather and put in a basket for me—because, you know, for vampires, that must be kind of new. But I didn't really want to tell him that I completely loved the fact he brought a picnic basket, and I absentmindedly fingered the carefully woven, shiny brown basket.

"Can I?" I asked hesitantly.

"Can you what?" Shiki asked, confusion _faintly_ tainting his tone. He seemed to wonder if I meant tearing the basket apart and killing the food or stealing the basket away.

I paused, not answering him at first. I shifted slightly to a more comfortable position. "Can I really eat what's inside?" I'm pretty sure it sounded stupid, but I couldn't help but ask.

"Yes," he responded, tilting his head upwards so that his head was leaned against the tree's trunk as his eyes stared up at the leaves, which were already in bright, beautiful shades of yellow, red, orange, or brown. Some of the leaves looked like they were gold, and it looked beautiful. Some of them have already fallen—in fact, most have. But it was beautiful, nonetheless—the leaves blanketed the grass nicely, as if they fell down from the tree in order to protect the grass or like they were embracing their long-time friend.

Slowly, I opened up the basket and peered inside, curious as to what was inside. There were a lot of things, actually—there were two glass cups that looked like they were wine glasses. There were a few containers, and when I stuck my hand in to lift them up to see what was in it, I realized there were some very delicious looking finger sandwiches. There was a big black box with white and red curvy lines, and napkins, chopsticks, forks, spoons and everything placed neatly in one corner. In another container there was desert—there were some fudge brownies, and some cupcakes, and cookies. Two bottles of cold water was there as well, and some juice boxes and a pop can.

As my eyes scanned this, a small black box caught my eye. Hesitantly, I fingered it and picked it up, pulling my hand out of the basket. I held the box up with my thumb and index finger and shook it in front Shiki's face. He stared at it with no emotion whatsoever.

I stared into his light blue eyes seriously, looking for something. We stared into each other's eyes for a few moments—I couldn't find it at first. But after two or three minutes of deep searching, I saw it.

His eyes were the same beautiful blue shade, but when I looked closely and hard enough, I could see a slightly, almost non-existent purple tint to his eyes, like a shade of red was underneath or glazed over in a thin layer. There were also very tiny flecks of red in his eyes.

Wordlessly, I looked away, my face still blank. I reached inside the basket, and took out a wine glass—why did he bring wine glasses instead of normal cups? Was he too fancy for that or something? I held it with the same hand I had the box of Shiki's blood tablets in it, and I grabbed the bottle of water. I was aware of the stare that Shiki burned into my head, but I ignored it as I uncapped the new bottle of water and poured it into the cup. Placing the bottle of water on the ground, I took the box with my free hand and opened it in one swift motion. Taking out two tablets, I dropped them into the water and watched as the transparent liquid turned into a cherry red, like juice.

Without saying anything, I handed it to Shiki, who stared at it for a second before he gently took it with his slender fingers. I carefully closed the black box and the water bottle, placing them back inside the basket again before I pulled out the big black box, along with two napkins and a pair of chopsticks.

I opened the black box, and sure enough, it was sushi. There was a small bowl to put the soy sauce in, and when I finished that, I carefully picked up a piece of sushi—California roll—and placed it inside my mouth.

"Why?"

I turned and blinked up at Shiki, confused with his question that came out of nowhere. "Why... What?"

His eyes flickered down to the glass of red liquid before they darted back up to my face. I couldn't help but notice how _elegantly_ he held the thin, glass stem. It sounds weird, I know—how can you hold a wine glass elegantly? But Shiki did, and I couldn't help but notice how he held it carefully and gently, like it would break if he used any of his strength—which it probably would.

"Why did you make me this?" He inquired.

I gestured to the picnic basket. "You made—or got, this for me. It was the least I could do." I paused before I added, "Your eyes were slightly tainted red, too."

"I fed before I came," he muttered.

I shrugged my shoulders, already knowing he meant he already drank some before he came—drank blood tablets, I mean. I'm pretty sure he didn't suck someone dry before he came.

"Drink some more," I told him as I took a small bite out of another piece of sushi.

He stared at me for a moment before he lifted the glass to his lips and took a small sip. "It doesn't disturb you?" He asked.

"Should it?" I retorted.

He shrugged his shoulders. "It depends on the person's perspective, I suppose."

"How do you think it tastes?" I asked him curiously, interested on hearing his opinion.

His eyes stared at the red liquor blankly. "…Horrible," he mumbled. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, and suddenly, I saw the cautious, suspicion, and also curiosity tangoing around in his eyes. He opened his mouth slightly like he wanted to say something, but he closed it again for a moment, hesitating. After a moment, he opened his mouth again, seeming to be more alert of how he worded what he said.

"…You... Asked as if you've tasted it before and wanted to know my opinion," he observed, looking at my face closely for any reaction.

I tensed and my eyes narrowed for a split second before I quickly relaxed again. I picked up another piece of sushi, took a bite out of it, chewed and swallowed before I responded. My voice had a forced calm and nonchalance to it as I told him, "I have."

Though his bored expression remained—his eyes didn't widen at lot, and his mouth didn't fall open—but he still radiated the word "stunned." His eyes flashed towards mine and held my gaze for a few moments—he was searching for some sort of lie. But he probably only found sincerity and honesty, because his eyes dropped down to the glass in his hands.

"Why?" I could hear the suspicion in his tone.

"Classified information. For now, at least," I told him, wanting to make him wonder about it. How I come about to having a taste of blood tablets was strange—he probably didn't want to know, anyways. And besides, even though I don't want to admit it, I don't want to know his reaction to why I drank it. He would probably be disgusted, and then never talk to me again. Though it's selfish, I don't want him to leave me.

Absorbed into his own thoughts, he lowly, almost inaudibly, mumbled out a single word. "…_Impossible,_" he breathed.

I thought of it better to _not _say anything, so I continued eating my sushi.

After a while, Shiki asked, "Why did you come here, Sasaki-san?"

"Sasaki's just fine."

"Sasaki," he corrected himself.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and sighed quietly. Why did I have the gut feeling that he was talking to me to get information out of me—_again_? How long has he been doing this—how long will he _keep_ doing it? I don't know if I want him to continue longer and longer or to just stop already. I like talking to him—he's easy to talk to, but I don't want him talking to me just because he wants information. I want him to talk to me because he wants to, but I doubt he wants to.

Ugh—what was _wrong_ with me?

It's because I've never met anyone with someone who portrayed the same personality as me—the anti-social, bored, I-don't-want-to-talk-to-your-face kind of personality. Though Zero is anti-social, it's obvious he isn't necessarily _bored_. He suffers a lot and is a big softie when you get to know him—and that's not like me.

Not really.

Should I tell him? Should I not? Would it even matter? Would he care?

"I'm running away," I told him finally, turning away from him. Slowly, I continued lowly, "I'm running away like a coward."

He didn't respond for a second. "Running away from home?" I could hear the tone in his voice—he didn't want to press for information, but he wanted it. Wanted or needed it, it was the same thing.

"No," I told him blankly. "Not home."

He seemed slightly confused at this. "Then what?"

"That's classified information for now, too," I closed my eyes for a while. "Do you mind if I leave those questions unanswered?"

He opened his mouth as if to say yes, but he snapped it shut and shook his head slightly, taking a sip of the water. He didn't look at me and kept his gaze fixated with the oh-so-interesting object in his hands. He moved his long fingers slightly and made the liquid in it swirl in a circular motion. His gaze and tone held no emotion in it as he asked,

"You'll tell me if I give you time?"

Obviously, I hesitated. I had no idea if I should tell Shiki or not—and in truth, I didn't want him to know. Why did he have to ask me all these things? Why did he have to ask that specific question? …Isn't he fine with this right now? With him just going on thinking I'm who I portray, and me thinking he is who he portrays, too? What was with the need to try and find the truth about each other when things would be less complicated, less stressing, if it was just like this?

Why?

When I didn't give him an answer, I saw him look at me from the corner of my eyes—unfortunately, I was too much of a coward to look and meet his gaze. I knew that if I looked into those blue pools, that I'd just spill my guts out and promise him I'll tell him. So, instead, I was staring down at my fingers like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

Shiki seemed to understand. "Another unanswered question, then," he declared blankly.

A moment of silence flowed in the air around us, and carefully, I set down my chopsticks and picked leaf, studying it carefully. It was thick, but you could see all the veins that ran through it. The stem was a dark brown, and the leaf itself was a mix between dark red and light orange. The edges were rimmed with yellow, and it looked beautiful. It was almost like it purposely turned colours to look like that.

"…Shiki?"

He looked at me. "Yes?"

I bit down on my lower lip and let the leaf slip off of my fingers and my eyes watched as it fluttered gracefully back to the ground, like it was dancing. Reluctantly—or more like hesitantly—I looked at him from the corner of my eyes.

"What are we?" My voice was low.

"What do you mean?" He asked, clearly knowing I didn't want an answer like him explaining to me he's a vampire and I'm a human and all that. Obviously, he knew I meant something else. He just didn't know what I exactly meant.

I paused temporarily, turning my gaze to something else. "What relationship do we have?" I asked him bluntly, my voice flat. I knew he was opening his mouth to say something, so I quickly interrupted him before he could say anything. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the tree trunk.

"Is this,"—I gestured without opening my eyes to the two of us and the picnic basket—"Just going to be something that'll last until you get all the information you want from me, or…" I paused, opening my eyes slowly to stare up at the tree branches and the remaining leaves. "Will it last and become a friendship that can't be replaced?"

Shiki didn't respond for a few minutes, and I wondered if I would get an answer at all. I've left so many questions he's asked me hanging—I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to leave me wondering the answer to one of my questions, too. It'd only be fair, and yet, I don't think Shiki would do that.

I was about to get up and pack everything away, telling him thanks for the meal and everything and then just walk away, not bothering to hear the answer.

If he really needs to take this long to answer the question, then the answer is obvious.

But just when I was about to move aside the big box of sushi and get up, his velvety smooth, melodic voice responded after such a long moment of silence.

"We're friends."

I wanted to shoot him a sarcastic respond, but I saw him open his mouth to speak again, so I decided to just keep my mouth shut and listen.

"We're friends," he repeated blankly, "If that's what you want." He paused, and then said slowly, "And what our friendship is, or long how it lasts, depends on you."

I blinked at him. To put it simply…

"I don't get it."

He looked at me blankly, like he was silently asking himself if I was an idiot for not getting what he had just said.

"I don't get _you_," I corrected myself, blinking. "It depends on _me_? Don't you get a say in the turns our friendship makes, as well?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "In ways, our friendship isn't in my hands."

"What do you _mean_ by that?" I asked, irritation leaking into my tone.

"It means," he started hesitantly, like he was trying to word it in some more riddles or something. "That the person who steers the direction our friendship, isn't me. It's you—what happens between the two of us will depend on not my actions, but yours."

I wanted to hit him or something. "What happens if my actions are based on your actions?"

He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I'm the person in the passenger seat." And maybe, just maybe, I think I heard him breathe out, "For now." But I wasn't sure—I was probably hallucinating or something. I had no idea what he meant or if there was more meaning into his words that I could see on the surface.

In order to fully understand Shiki's words, I would probably have to read in between the lines, and yet, I'm not sure I really want to. What if what he truly means is something I don't want to figure out?  
I shrugged it off. I looked at Shiki blankly. "Friends, then," I declared dully, extending my hand towards him.

He looked at it for a few seconds before he extended his hand and grasped mine with his larger one. I couldn't help but feel a tingle going through my body when our skin made contact—his hand was warm and soft. I could feel the smoothness of his skin—it felt better than the finest silk in the world. It was kind of weird—the feeling of our hands touching, I mean. After what Ichijou said the day he helped me up off the floor, I've promised myself to be careful about physical contact with Shiki.

And look at us now.

We shook our hands loosely, like we didn't really want to touch each other's hands—I wouldn't be surprised if Shiki thought it was repulsive, touching my hand. But even though it was a loose handshake, we were still making physical contact, and it still sent the weird, fuzzy sensation through me.

After a while, we stopped shaking our hands and just looked at our hands awkwardly.

_You announced you were friends now, not that you were going to be business partners._ A voice in the back of my head barked. I kicked the invisible voice with my inner-self, and hope that I got her in the eye or something.

Of course, I knew the voice was right—who shakes hands after stating they were now friends? It was idiotic, but I didn't know what else to do. Was I supposed to hug him or something instead of shake his hand?

"It was a mutual declaration of friendship—why did you want to shake my hand?" He asked me, his voice bored. "We weren't sealing a deal, Sasaki."

I quickly retrieved my hand, which still tinkled with his touch, like bells were grown inside my system and ringing.

I looked away, embarrassed. It was bad enough having heard it once—I didn't need to hear it again. Carefully, I began to pack up everything—I had eaten most of the sushi, even though I did it all absentmindedly and didn't taste anything at all.

Wiping my mouth with my napkin, I placed it inside the now empty sushi box along with Shiki's napkin and my chopsticks. He placed his wine glass back in the basket, noticing all the food I didn't eat.

"Ichijou-senpai will wonder if you're on a diet of some sort," Shiki grumbled.

"_He_ did this?" I asked, surprised.

Shiki glanced at me and shook his head.

My eyes furrowed at him. "Then who did?" I asked him, slightly confused.

"I did." He looked at me like I was missing the obvious—which I was. "But Ichijou-senpai told me to inform him how it went."

"I see," I muttered. I gestured to the sushi box. "I'll throw that away."

He nodded his head, and in unison, the two of us pushed ourselves up and off the tree trunk, brushing our clothes to wipe away any dirt of grass that decided to stain the fabric. He picked up the picnic basket, and I picked up the box.

I held my hand up silently, and he returned the gesture.

"…I'll see you tomorrow?" It was a question this time, not a statement.

He nodded his head. "Yeah."

The relief that flooded through me confused me, but I pushed it away. "Go home and get some rest," I told him, offering him a slight smile. "It's five hours until you have class."

Shrugging his shoulders, he responded, "It doesn't matter."

I rolled my eyes, but I decided to not pester him about it—I would sound like his mother or something. So instead, I said, "Bye, Shiki." And began to walk away.

"Bye, Sasaki," he replied.

I was aware of his eyes burning holes into my back as I walked all the way to the edge of the clearing, where the thick trees met the open space. Remembering something, I turned around. "…Shiki?" I asked, noticing him leaning against the tree watching me. I'm pretty sure he heard me, you know, with the whole super senses things that vampires have.

"What?" He called, not really yelling, but speaking a little bit louder than usual.

"…Thank you," I told him sincerely. "For both the meal, and…" I paused, then turned around so that he couldn't see my cheeks that were tainted red—thanks to the traitor blush. Continuing the sentence, but in a quieter voice, I said,

"…For being my friend."

After that, I fast-walked hastily into the forest, trying to put as much distance away as possible. I didn't want him to be able to see me longer than he had to, and I didn't want to have to feel his stare boring into my back, either.

But, as I made my way back towards the classroom, I couldn't help but let a smile spread across my face as I repeated the sentence in my head, and the more I heard it, the bigger my smile grew.

…Shiki Senri and I…

_Friends_.

* * *

**A / N :**

Well, that's chapter seven! Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Are you guys excited? They're finally declaring the start of their friendship! Exciting, don't you think? Do you wonder what'll happen next? Do you wonder what Shiki means when he told her it wasn't in his hands where the friendship goes?

Are you wondering what she's running away from? Are you wondering why she's tried blood tablets before?

Before you jump to conclusions, let me tell you one thing; **Not everything may be what it seems.**

So keep that in mind, okay? xD

Anyways, I was wondering... **Who are your favourite characters from Vampire Knight? **I'm actually really curious to know about this. i want to hear your opinions on this particular question, and I want you guys to answer it, too. It'll get some conversation going, you know? xD So yes, when, or if, you review, please answer this question. It'd be even better if you include your reasons why he or she is your favourite character.

Special Thanks To... :

**Hakumei-Ko, xXPrinces-Of-TwilightXx, Bella's Sister, amer, Serena Lockhart, Anonymous, twindarkstar.05, AiAkakoSukiRini, and ??**

Thank you very, very much for your reviews! Also, thank you to everyone who story-alerted / favourited for me! i apprciate it very much, and it makes me really happy!

Please continue to support me and read this story! ;D

I also hope that you guys will review and answer the question that I asked. xD I'm genuinely curious about your answers, and I'll be waiting to hear about all your reasons and reviews!

So, yes, please review for me! ;D

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	8. Short Lived Three Days

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight.**

**A / N :**

OMGGGGG, you guys have _no_ idea how sorry I am about how late this update was! I'm not tryign to make an excuse, but my computer has been going completely haywire. I couldn't use the internet for _days_, so I couldn't update. Not to mention that all my chapters and everything weren't on the other computers and I had too much stuff going on in life to re-write any of them. I _would've_ updated, like, three days ago if my internet actually worked, but it didn't so...

I honestly can't apologize enough for this late update D; I feel horrible, seriously. But, even if my updates are late, I promise you that I **_WILL NOT_** discontinue this story. I'll continue to update, even thoguh they mgiht be slower than before. So keep on reading and waiting, and sticking with me, alright? I promise that I _will_ finish this story for everyone!

Thank you to _everyone_ who reviewed and story-alerted and favourited. I appreciate it a lot! ;D

I had to rewrite this chapter around... Iunno, three times? Before I got it the way I wanted it. I typed like crazy on the computer for _hours_ just for you guys, so you guys better be nice and review! XD

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER E_I_G_H_T :**

_"Short-Lived Three Days."

* * *

_

DAY NINE.

* * *

_"Sasaki."  
_

_It was almost like a natural reaction when I heard my name escape his lips. I stopped walking, vaguely aware of how my clothes were soaked, rain was beating down on my head like it wanted to send me to hell like that, and the fact that winds that felt like they came from the South Pole was blowing at me. I shut my eyes tightly as I tried to bring myself to move. I screamed at myself in my head.  
_

_Move.  
_

_Legs—yeah, you! Legs! MOVE!  
_

_But it was futile. No matter how hard I tried—how loud I screamed at myself in my head—my feet didn't lift themselves up off the wet cement. My legs didn't make any motions whatsoever telling me that I would be getting away from him anytime soon.  
_

_Because he was like that. Because _I_ was like that.  
_

_I had been stupid. Naïve. Idiotic. Moronic. Unrealistic. Illogical. Everything that I thought was real— that this wasn't just an idealistic fantasy of what I'd like for my life—has now been shattered. It all broke like glass.  
_

_All of it.  
_

_Nothing was left for me.  
_

_It was Shiki's fault. I swear it is… I want to believe that it's his fault. But I know that I can't blame him. He didn't do anything wrong, and yet, at the same time, he did the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. To _me_.  
_

_He made me fall for him.  
_

_You'd think that it wasn't that bad. And sure, maybe the fact that falling for Shiki isn't a bad thing. I mean, he's completely gorgeous, he's amazingly smart and gets good grades, he has a pretty decent personality once you get to know him, and I _know_ that he'd be able to protect me.  
_

_Sorry to burst you're bubbles, but let me tell everyone out there something that they're not really getting.  
_

_He's.  
_

_A.  
_

_Freaking.  
_

Vampire_.  
_

_Okay. It's not like I didn't realize that the minute I laid my eyes on him, but it's just… When you hang out with him, he seems so normal. So _human_. He doesn't seem the least bit like a vampire unless you look at the canines. Sure, they aren't as long as they are when they actually suck the blood out of you, but they're still longer than normal.  
_

_But… None of it seemed to matter. I just fell.  
_

_And fell.  
_

_And fell.  
_

_Over and over and over again, and each time, it was just deeper and deeper into the hole that seemed to be endless. I felt the wind rush out of my lungs, like I had been punched as I fell deeper. I would always, not matter what, flail my arms and legs and try reaching for something—anything at all—to keep me from plunging deeper into that pit that seemed to go on forever. But there was never anything there. The only thing that kept me company on my way down was the pitch black darkness that enveloped me in a bitter embrace.  
_

_And, even though I knew it was stupid and pointless to think so, I had always hoped for one thing as I fell.  
_

_It was the hope that, when I _did_ finally reach the bottom, I wouldn't fall flat on my face and break all the bones in my body.  
_

_No.  
_

_There was some part of me—some corner in my heart—where I had hoped that I would fall right into the arms of him.  
_

_Foolish.  
_

_I didn't want to fall for him. I didn't want to get hurt because I was stupid enough for fall for these illusions people call love. I lived in reality. Those fake, untrue love stories that always have happy endings mean nothing. They are stories that just take the real, painful story where something tragic happens—like the female or male dies—and sugar-coat all the words. They sweetened it up so that it's all sappy.  
_

_In reality, happy endings like those don't exist. There won't be a Prince Charming to kiss awake Sleeping Beauty, where she'll wake up and look in his eyes. There won't be a happy ending where the female protagonist lives and gets married like Snow White, where the Prince Charming comes and falls in love with her at first sight because she's just too beautiful. And this isn't the land where Cinderella lives, where her fairy godmother is always there for her to make her happy, and help her meet the man of her dreams, who'd go around the whole land searching for her.  
_

_These things just didn't happen.  
_

_Abruptly, I felt an amazingly cold hand clench around my wrist. This was the action that brought me back down to Earth.  
_

_I realized that, in the whole time I've been spacing out, that I had been taking small steps, walking away from him with my back facing his gorgeous face. I guess I got too far for his liking. Or maybe he just didn't like the fact I was spacing out and wasn't paying any attention to him like all the other girls.  
_

_"Sasaki," he repeated. His voice was calm and as velvety smooth as always. There was no strain. No emotion. It was just blank and flat like always.  
_

_I ripped my wrist free of his grasp, which was amazingly hard to do. I was so cold that it wasn't even funny anymore. I swear that if it got any colder, I'd have frostbite. "Leave me alone," I told him plainly, not bothering to look back at him as I lifted my legs up with difficulty, forcing myself to move even though my body groaned with even the slightest movement.  
_

_But he didn't. Instead, his arm shot out again, his hand wrapping around my wrist once again. His grip was tighter—much like a vice. I could tell that even if I bit his fingers with as much strength I could muster, it wouldn't change anything.  
_

_My face contorted into a deep scowl. "Let me _go_," I almost growled it.  
_

_"No," he deadpanned.  
_

_"Shiki," I tried harder to free my wrist. "I'm not kidding anymore. Let me go."  
_

_"No," he repeated, his voice sounding even more flat that usual. It irritated me hearing him say it like that. So empty.  
_

_I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to leave. I didn't want to spend another minute—another _second_—here with him. I just wanted out. I wanted out of this stupid hole that I've fallen so deep into.  
_

_Without saying anything, I began to walk. Drops of water fell down my face, almost creating a mini stream. My hair was soaking wet and dripping like I had just come out of the shower, my black uniform soaked and clinging onto my skin uncomfortably. I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to block out all the water that came close to entering my eye.  
_

_But, obviously, I couldn't overpower Shiki. My walking jerked to a stop as soon as I got three steps away. I got pulled back a little, forcing me to stumble.  
_

_Before he could say anything, I interrupted. "Damn it, Shiki! Leave me alone! Just let me go already! I'll kill you if I have to!" The struggling become more desperate as I tried all I could to get him to let go. I reached for his hand with my spare one, trying to pry his fingers off, only to find out he wasn't going to budge.  
_

_"What are you _doing_?" I hissed out, irritated and frustrated. I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation, dragging his arm up as well. I knew he couldn't see my face, but it twisted into a scowl anyways.  
_

_I pulled my arm. I tried to pry. I even considered placing both our hands on the ground and stomping over his hands, but decided against it. Nothing was going to work.  
_

_Even though it wasn't like me, I stamped my foot onto the ground furiously like a three-year-old before I began to storm away, my footsteps loud. With each foot that I plunged into the ground, water flashed up and soaked my high black socks even more.  
_

_Not that it had anything left to soak into.  
_

_Like last time, I had barely gotten two steps in this time before I was stopped again, his hand pulling me back. He didn't say anything—nothing at all—in the time that I've been telling him to let go. He got silent after I tried walking away the first time. This sort of just fueled my anger even more—he's telling me to say, and yet, he doesn't want to say anything. So what does he think he's doing? Does he think that I'd stay out here in the rain and just _wait_ for hail the size of golf balls to rain down and split my head open?  
_

_Enough was enough.  
_

_I whirled around on my heels, my eyes narrowing into a glower. I opened my mouth, about to give him a piece of my mind. If he pissed me off enough, I would slap him across the face. If he back-talked…  
_

_Internal snort.  
_

_However, before I could even get a word in, he pulled me forward. My head crashed into his hard, muscular chest, which was also soft at the same time. Pain jolted through my skull, but I paid no attention to it. _

_After all, those things go away after a while. I was really actually too busy realizing what was happening.  
_

_Shiki Senri.  
_

_…Embracing me?  
_

_My eyes widened like saucers. I could feel one of his arms wrapping along my waist, the other hand was on the back of my head, pressing my face deeper into his chest. His breath tickled the back of my neck, and at that moment, I froze like a statue.  
_

_The sound of my heart pumping blood through my veins was loud and clear, resounding in my head and ears. My heart had literally stopped for a second or two before it restarted again, this time much, much faster. It felt like it would burst out of my chest at any given moment, and I felt the blood rush up to my face.  
_

_For a moment—I think it was five minutes, but it seemed much like an eternity—silence engulfed us and neither one of us said anything. My face was buried into his chest, his face… Buried in my hair or something? His arms around me… My arms limp at my sides. I'm sure he was listening to my heartbeat going overdrive, much like how I'm listening to his heart, too.  
_

_When his melodic voice broke the silence, it was almost as if I had the stone covering me perished and crumbled to dust. "Sasaki." His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke. "Do I have your attention now?"  
_

_It was hard to do, but eventually, I nodded my head slowly. After all, what else could I do? It was hard enough to even _breathe_, let alone speak. My thought process had just broke. I think that if he continues holding me like this, I'd lose my sanity.  
_

_Another moment of silence before he spoke again. "Why do you keep running away?" He asked softly. Even though this was supposed to come out caring and gentle, and laced with sugar and honey… It came out impassive.  
_

_I swallowed the lump in my throat, and then swallowed two more times, trying to find my voice. When I did, I stammered out a quiet, "I-I don't…"  
_

_"You suck at lying," he whispered flatly into my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine. But I think that the fact that I was freezing cold had also added to it. "Didn't I tell you that before?"  
_

_Not knowing what to do—and not really thinking about it, either—I just nodded my head slowly again. I tried not to let my eyes wander around his chest, torso and stomach, but there were occasions where my eyes just darted around. I couldn't help it—his shirt was white, which made it transparent, and… And… And… And… Oh god. It's just that it was a once in a life-time chance, alright?  
_

_Without saying anything, or giving me some sort of warning, he tightened his hold on me, and slowly, my arms wound around him, returning his embrace. We just stood there for a while, not saying anything, not doing anything.  
_

_"Why?" I whispered, blinking my eyes.  
_

_He didn't respond right away, but after a pause, he asked, sounding slightly incredulous, "Are you an idiot?"  
_

_I shut my eyes tightly, almost to the point where it began to hurt. My arms around him closed in even more, almost like I wanted to squeeze the living daylights out of him. My hands balled up the soaked material of his Night Class uniform in my fist, clenching it so hard that I felt the water getting compressed out of it.  
_

_I buried my face tighter into his chest, and before I could regret my decision or chicken out, I whispered, my voice barely audible, "Shiki, I love you."  
_

"…Ku… Riku… _Riku_!"

My eyes snapped open, and I bolted upright so fast that the room seemed to spin for a second. It took me a while to realize that I was dreaming about that before. That it didn't really happen, and that I was safe, dry, and thinking coherently in my bed.

My heart was thumping against my chest wildly, and I felt a drop of sweat roll down my temple and off my chin. My hands clenched together tightly, and I bit down on my lower lip, my eyes narrowing into a deadly glower.

No… No… No… NO!

I did _not_ just _dream_ about Shiki! I didn't! I swear I didn't! It was… It wasn't… There was no way that I would dream about that guy!

And the two of us… He and I… His arms… NO!

I _didn't_ confess that I loved him because it was absolutely _not_ true! There was not one ounce of truth in what was said. It was all garbage! All of it! None of it was real! I harbor no feelings towards Shiki in a romantic way like that. He's just a friend to me. Nothing more.

Nada. Zilch. None. Zero. No!

"Riku?" Yuuki's concerned voice brought me out of my trance of red alert going off in my head, and I turned and looked at her. Her hand was resting on my shoulder, her crimson eyes staring down at me in worry. She pressed her lips together into a thin line, her eyebrows furrowing. "Are you alright?"

Not trusting my voice, I nodded my head slowly, making sure there was no clump in my throat as I spoke. "I'm fine, Yuuki."

She didn't look very convinced, but she didn't say anything about it. Instead, she smiled at me like usual and chirped, "I'm sorry to wake you up, but it's time for prefect duties! You don't think you can just slack off like Zero now, do you?" She wagged a finger in front of my face.

My eyes shifted and landed on the silver-haired teen, who had his arms folded across his chest, leaning against the wall across from me. His face was in its usual scowl as he looked at me, his lavender eyes mirroring my own.

Shrugging indifferently, I stated blandly, "We don't slack off. We merely come late every time."

"That's the same thing as slacking off!" Yuuki protested.

I shook my head, but didn't say anything as I threw the covers off of me. I stood up from my bed and smoothed out the wrinkles on my uniform—I didn't bother changing into pajamas before my nap—and ran my fingers through my black hair, making sure it wasn't totally hideous.

"I'm ready," I murmured. I hadn't even finished my sentence yet before Zero was already opening my dorm room's door, ignoring the scowl I shot him. Yuuki and I trailed after him, our footsteps almost silent as we padded our way down the halls and the stairs, careful not to wake anyone up. It was, after all, quite late.

Well, actually, eleven in the evening isn't_ that_ late, but when all the girls here are obsessed over good looks, they sleep early, stating they absolutely needed all the beauty-sleep they could get.

"What were you dreaming about, Riku?" Yuuki inquired curiously as we made our way towards the Night Dorms. The sky was dark—almost black—by now, the moon standing out beautifully against the dark sky. You could see the stars that dotted the sea of midnight blue, only illuminating the fact that it was a gorgeous night.

A flash of the dream I had came back to my mind and I shuddered, not wanting to relive it. My words echoed again and again in my mind.

_"Shiki, I love you."_

…I love you…

I love you.

What the _hell_ is with all this crap?! I did _not_ love him! It's only been three days since the beginning of our friendship! We were only officially friends three days ago! Three freaking days! I don't believe in all that love-at-first-sight crap!

I cursed internally at Yuuki for bringing this up.

She seemed to realize my discomfort because she quickly shook her head and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Riku, I shouldn't be so nosy. I was just curious…"

Slowly, I shook my head, but didn't say anything. I tuned Yuuki out and nodded or frowned when she looked in my general direction. I pretended to listen to her chatter when I was really, in reality, just ignoring her. I had no idea if Zero was doing the same, but by the look on his face, it looked like he was pretty much bored and tired.

But once in a while, a few words or a sentence or so would slip through my barrier and get into my head. There was once where she was talking about shopping for shoes… Then something about salons… Then something about a something coming soon… And then I heard something about the Winter Dance… And then she started to squeal and talk about Kaname. I'm sure she and Zero were arguing about that red-eyed Pureblood, but for me, I didn't really care about him.

I sighed almost silently as I tilted my head up slightly to look up at the dark night sky. My face twisted into a grimace before I looked back ahead.

The Winter Dance, eh?

- - - -

"Oh, for the love of…" My eyes narrowed into a glower as I jumped off the tree branch, my hands reaching out and grasping onto another nearby one. I let my hands go and fell to the floor, landing on my feet like a cat right in front of two female Day Class students.

They screamed a little too loud for comfort.

Making sure my glare was going to shoot out lasers any minute, I said, "You're breaking the rules by staying out past curfew. Get back to your dorm rooms."

Imagine my surprise when they actually listened to me for once without back-talking enough for me to want to rip their pretty little heads off. They just nervously stammered their "okay" and then _saluted_ me like I was a military officer before they scampered off. It was kind of funny, really, because they were running as fast as their legs could carry them, making them stumble and nearly trip half the time.

I'm not heartless, of course, but it's not as if I'm the nicest person out there.

Rolling my eyes and sighing, I turned back on my heel, jogging back towards where I'm pretty sure some other Day Class students would be trying to break in through our little barrier. I wondered why so many were coming today—it's obvious that I'm back on my shift, right? If they knew—which, by the way, I'm almost one hundred percent positive they _do_—then why the hell would they try and come?

Were Zero and Yuuki having this much trouble?

As I lurked around—making sure I didn't trip and fall face-first onto the floor—I noticed that I was walking towards some sort of presence. It was around one in the morning right now, and I was pretty sure that nobody would be this deep in the woods. I've found out that most girls are too scared of the woods and forests and whatever to even come near these places.

So what was it?

Somewhat intrigued, I began to walk towards the people. I'm positive they were Night Class students—Zero and Yuuki didn't give off this kind of… Er… Vampire-like vibe. But it didn't take a genius to figure out that they were students from the Night Class, because, really? You could just… Tell. There was always some sort of aura coming from them, and you'd know even from, like, a mile radius.

The thing is, though, what are they _doing_ out this far? I'm aware that their classroom is not in the middle of, uh, I don't know… _Nowhere?_

I pushed away the thoughts and—_repulsive_—mental images of what they might be doing (And yes, I _do_ mean sucking some poor, innocent Day Class student dry.), I crept towards them, their voices were quiet and quick, but I was beginning to hear their voices.

Males.

Being extra cautious about how loud my footsteps are or where I positioned them, I walked closer. I wondered whether or not they found out I'm here yet, because, after all, they're vampires. However, even if they _did_ realize my presence, they didn't say anything or acknowledge me in any way.

I stayed in the shadows as I walked closer, and right when their voices were loud enough to reach my ears, I stopped and hid, eavesdropping.

"Please calm down, Aidou-san."

My eyes widened a small fraction before narrowing dangerously. I recognized that voice—that very, very familiar voice that seemed to sing.

Shiki.

"I _am_ calm!" Aidou exclaimed loudly. Or, well, as loud as whispers can get. There was a small pause before Aidou huffed. "Either way, Shiki, I was just going to have a pleasant chat with her. There's nothing I'm going to do that'll be dangerous."

"She's my responsibility, Aidou-san. I assure you that I can do this just fine," Shiki replied flatly.

Aidou scoffed, and I'm pretty sure he crossed his arms. "You say that you can handle it on your own, but how long as it been? Two days? Three? It's almost been a week now, and what progress has been made?"

It took me a little while for me to realize that they were talking about me.

Blinking in surprise, I leaned my head to the side to look at them. I saw, out of the corner of my eyes, that those two were alone, standing across from each other. Sure enough, Aidou had his arms crossed as he stared down at Shiki, who was shorter. That model still looked amazingly bored, and not the slightest bit fazed by Aidou's hard, piercing ice-blue eyes.

I wanted to snort as I looked at them. They were still clad in the Night Class uniform, but really… They still looked completely gorgeous.

Talk about being extremely photogenic for their fans.

His voice was calm and bored as Shiki stated, "Extracting information from that girl is more difficult than you'd think, Aidou-san. She's extremely cautious about what she gives out and how much."  
Aidou's eyes narrowed. "That's why you _force_ it out from her."

"I highly doubt that, even if you were to strap her up and torture her, she would not leak anything out," Shiki responded.

Strap me up and _torture_ me? What the hell?

"And you think you're method is better?" Aidou almost hissed out. He looked scary at that moment—_very_ frightening, actually. The only time I saw Aidou looking like that was when he tried sucking my blood not too long ago.

The blonde-haired vampire looked like he wanted to snort, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't because he was just too "beautiful" for that kind of stuff. So, instead, he just glowered at Shiki. "You can't possibly think that you're going to get everything you need out of her. You're spending all your time with that pathetic human trying to get information out of her, and yet, what have you gotten?"

"A bit," Shiki deadpanned. "Her answers aren't as clear as I would have liked, but I'm getting an idea."

Aidou scowled. "We don't want _ideas_. We want a confirmation about her and what her history is, and _what_ she is."

"Aidou-san," Shiki started, "Everything is fine. I'm getting the information we need. There is no need for you to interfere."

If possible, I think Aidou would've bristled. His lips curled up over his teeth slightly, showing the super ultra-white teeth that he had. His fists clenched together tightly, and I saw him tense up. "Do you see yourself?" He growled. "You're becoming a human's friend! Do you think that it's going to be a fast process? What the hell is going through your head when you decided to tell her you're her friend?"

Shiki's expression didn't falter. His gaze was steady and blank, his voice flat, as he replied, "I'm merely her friend to gain what we need—nothing more, nothing less. I honestly have no intention of keeping our relationship when I'm done."

For a second, this information didn't sink in. For a second.

But when it did, a _load_ of emotions washed over me. There was the feeling of betrayal, of hurt… Anger, frustration, hate… Sadness, misery… Confusion, bewilderment…

And, unsurprisingly, my anger was what out-ruled every other emotion that was in me. The only thing that I could feel was the fact that my blood was boiling, my hands clenching and unclenching. My jaw locked together, and my eyes narrowed at him. I was pretty sure that if possible, my eyes would have daggers, knives, lasers, and whatever you can think of, flying out of them right now to try and _kill_ that damn bastard.

Anger overtook the betrayal. It washed away the sadness. It punched down the hurt. It devoured the confusion. The only thing that it didn't take over, however, was the hate. And when you mix anger and hate together, you _never_ get a pretty sight.

Even though I knew it would be dangerous, I acted on complete impulse without thinking about it. I stormed out my hiding spot, not noticing how they were still talking about some stuff. The turned and looked at me, Aidou looking surprised whereas Shiki just looked bored.

But, as his gorgeous, model-like face turned around, a loud slapping sound echoed around us.

He didn't move. He didn't turn his face to look at me—nothing escaped his mouth like some sort of indication he was in pain. His feet didn't move back, which meant he didn't stumble. His fists weren't clenched together. The only thing was that he was tense.

I dropped my hand, somewhat surprised at how calmly I slapped him. It was almost like it was the easiest thing ever.

I turned and looked at Aidou, who just stared at me with wide eyes. He was probably in shock that I had just slapped my so-called "friend."

"If you want answers," I spat out bitterly, "Then just come to original owner." I shoved Shiki out of the way, not caring if he hit his head on a tree trunk and then knocked himself unconscious. I faced Aidou, the two of us standing across from each other. I glared at him fiercely, and when he finally recovered from his shock, he just mirrored my glower.

His lips curled up into a snarl. "Who do you think you're—"

My hand almost seemed to move on its own, and it was only three seconds after what happened, that I realized what actually happened.

Lavender eyes widened slightly as my brain comprehended what I just did.

He turned his face almost robotically to look at me, his cerulean eyes that were similar to the sky almost caught on fire. A dark red handprint was on his pale face, and by the look of it, it wouldn't be disappearing anytime soon.

"How _dare_ you?!" Aidou scowled. He rubbed his face with one of his hands, pouting at me. I was _definitely_ not expecting this reaction. I was pretty sure he was going to come and sink his fangs into my neck and kill me… _Not_ pout at me and look innocent.

"My face," he whimpered. "You hurt my beautiful face…"

I blinked at him like an idiot for a few minutes before I dropped my hand and murmured a, "I'm really sorry." My anger had faded, my hate going with it. Even though it was only temporarily, it did.

He raised a perfect eyebrow at me before blinking at me cutely, looking very confused and slightly incredulous. He leaned his face in closer and asked, "Did you just… Did you just fall in love with me?"

I snorted a small laugh, surprise that he could even _think_ that I would fall for a vampire. "No," I told him. "I felt sorry for you."

His eyebrows furrowed together and he opened his mouth to say something, but I quickly interrupted, cutting him off. "I'll tell you this—I'm not a normal person. I'm not a normal human, got that? Now leave me the _hell_ alone."

"Aren't you pissed?"

"Not at you," I told him plainly before I turned away. I walked past Shiki, making sure I glared at him for a few moments. His maroon strands covered his eyes and shadowed his face, so I couldn't see the upper-half of his face, but I saw the bottom-half, and boy, let me tell you that it didn't look any different from his normal position.

As I walked past him, I made sure I rammed my shoulder roughly into him.

I didn't spare him a glance as I walked away.

But before I was out of hearing distance, I heard Aidou chuckle and say, "Well, I guess we know who she's pissed at now."

My eyes closed tightly together, my hands subconsciously clenching into fists.

You lied, Shiki?

_Friends_, huh?

Che… Yeah, right.

* * *

**A / N :**

This concludes the eighth chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it! I loved writing the dream scene, mostly the part with Cinderella and whatnot xD I just liked it ;D I know, I'm weird.

Special THANK YOU to... :

**JuJukins, Anonymous, twilightchick13, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, Mentally Loved, xXKaira-HimeXx, LadyShinkukaze, I C E, twindarkstar.05, Everlasting Wonders, yuzuki0429, Kinshima, and basil795**

Yes, thank you to you special reviewers and to everyone who's story-alerted and favourited! ;D

Well, you know the queston I asked you guys the last time I updated? Yeah, the one about which chara was your favourite? You guys have _no_ idea how happy I was when I found out you guys actually answered the question LOL. To be honest, I thought nobody would actualyl answer it, you know? And, well, I was really happy to hear about your opinions and all about it. It almost feels as if we've bonded, don't you think?

Okay, now, this is a **WARNING : UNLESS YOU WANT TO READ A FAN-GIRL RANT ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE ZERO, DO NOT READ.**

Now that the warning has been issued, let me just tell you how much I freaking AGREE with _Mentally Loved_ and _I C E_ about their opinions. Obviously, I totally love Zero. He's my absolute, and yes, _absolute_, favourite character in Vampire Knight. Not even adorable Shiki can reach the level he's at, but don't worry, guys, I totally love Shiki too.

Okay, well, you two almost seem to be my soul sisters or something because I 10000000000000% agree with you guys. I mean, Zero is just too awesome to not love, eh? He definitely needs someone to hug him and kiss his heart, 'cause Yuuki wounded it like it was crap ._." Luckily, the people who love him (Like us) can totally fill her spot and give him hugs and chocolate. 'Cause, you know, everyone loves chocolate. Even Zero. I hope.

The fact that Zero has this super depressed, emo aura around him just makes me love him even more. Is it so weird to love the silver-haired bad boy with the silver gun? x3 I can't help it. He's just too great. I love 'em to death, and if he was real, I'd be swooning at the sight of him.

Oh wait.

I already do.

And he's a freaking fictional character. Funny, ain't it? I'm like mega obsesed, but I can't help it. He's just too cool. He uses a gun called _Bloody Rose_ for god's sake! Seriously, people! And who else has silver hair? D; It's just too awesome. Besides, don't you jsut love his lavender eyes or the slight scowl-ly look he always has on. Well, if you guys don't, I do. D;

The fact that he's going to be president of the Association _definitely_ adds to all of it. And his hotness ;)

**I'm going to wrap my rant up right here, so after this point, to everyone who skipped out because you hate fan-girling, it's safe to read again.**

Okay, now that I'm done my rant, I'd like to say a few things. Just in case you didn't know, I don't own Cinderella, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty, and all that. Yeah, got it? ALRIGHT. xD

Because I totally loved hearing your opinions on my question, I want to continue to ask you guys some more! I hope you don't mind ;D Remember to put your answer in your review or PM me or something! 'Cause I 'd love to know x3

**Question : Do you think Yuuki even _deserves_ Zero?**

Out of curiosity, how many of you have noticed my dislikef or Yuuki? ;D

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I worked really hard on it, so please don't tell me it sucked T___T

Please continue to review and read for me, as well as support me in my writing! I once again apologize for the late update and thank everyone for their reviews and story-alerts! ;D

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	9. It's My Secret

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters seen there.**

**A / N :**

Holy mother of--You guys have no idea how sorry I am for this late update! D; I am truly, _truly_ sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I never thought that the beginning of school could be so hetic, you know? I mean, seriously. I've gotten used to it, but still! Drama can unfold _so_ early on in the year, if you know what I mean, and it's _really_ unfortunate that my _friends_ are part of the drama. And, of course, being my friends' friend, I get dragged into the drama as well.

School... -Sigh- Right? Right? Who agrees with me? -Grins sheepishly-

I'm not going to try and make any special excuses, like saying my comp died or anything, because it didn't. And I'm not going to say I didn't have any bit of time to work on this story, 'cause I did. But... I don't know. I guess that I've just been caught up with stuff, you know? I _am_ sincerely sorry and apologetic to everyone, though. And, although the chapters will probably start coming out later, I want you guys to all be sure of this one thing :

I **_WILL NOT_** be discontinuing this story.

I **_shall_** continue until this story until it is absolutely complete. But, please bear in mind that my updates _will_ become less frequent.

Hopefully, you guys understand this and will forgive me. But, for now, I'm going to stop talking and just let you read this chapter. So, my dear friends, read on. Read on...

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER N_I_N_E : **

_"It's My Secret."_

* * *

DAY SIXTEEN

* * *

Zero and I leaned against a nearby tree trunk, watching Yuuki from far away. A new student had arrived—a Night Class student. Female. I guess the chairman figured out that Zero and I wouldn't really be much help towards her and decided to let Yuuki escort her around whereas Zero and I just patrolled.

I narrowed my eyes at the girl—there's something so familiar about her. Something so, so familiar around her. Her mere presence seems to be pulling warning bells off in my head, but I couldn't see her. It was hard, and the shadows of the night covered her face. I didn't catch _anything_ about her—not her hair colour, not her face, not her eyes…

Nothing.

"You feel it, too," Zero confirmed, staring at the two females. Yuuki looked slightly frightened—I don't know why. Maybe it's because tonight is so dark.

I nodded my head once in a jerky movement, my eyes narrowing into slits. "I do."

The two of us watched carefully when the female stepped closer to Yuuki, and Yuuki take a step back, waving her hands frantically in front of her face and shaking her head rapidly. The female placed her hand on Yuuki's shoulder and said something to make Yuuki jump up.

"…She's familiar," I breathed out flatly to Zero, glancing at him from the corner of my eyes.

He, however, shook his head and just grunted in annoyance.

I closed my eyes, thinking hard. "I know her… I know I do."

Zero's stare was on my face—I could feel it. He shifted slightly and the stare moved away, probably to keep an eye out on the Night Class student and make sure she doesn't try and harm Yuuki in any way. Zero's protective of Yuuki—he's in love with her, obviously. Too bad Yuuki's in love with that Kaname dude. But the thing is… Half of Yuuki's heart seems to be Zero's, and the other half that Pureblood's. It makes me wonder who she'll choose.

But I'm getting off topic.

The name of this Night Class student is on the tip of my tongue, her face, her abilities, _everything_ about her is _right _under my nose, but I just… I can't remember. I just can't. I'm drawing a blank here—it's frustrating.

A sigh escaped my lips, and my face twisted slightly as I opened my eyes. "Zero."

"What?"

My eyes narrowed at the female Night Class student. "We need to be careful."

He scoffed, turning his gaze back to them as well. There was a certain glint in his lavender eyes as he looked at them, and I saw it—the determination to protect Yuuki. It showed in his eyes, and it made me wonder why Yuuki hasn't realized it yet. Was she too blinded by Kaname, that bloodsucker? Well, though I hate to say it, but if Yuuki chooses Kaname over Zero, I'll rip her head off.

I don't like that guy.

"I know," Zero scowled. "…There's something not right about her."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so," I said in monotone. After a small pause, wondering if it would offend him or not, I hesitantly, but flatly, said, "We need to be cautious and warn Yuuki—I'm sure she's too oblivious to notice."

Zero closed his eyes and his head tilted towards the ground. I saw his muscles along his arms tense like he was clenching his fists inside his Day Class uniform. "Yeah," he seemed to be spitting the words out through his teeth.

The two of us pushed ourselves off the tree trunk when Yuuki and the new girl began fading from our sight, and glancing at each other, we began to follow them quietly, making sure to keep a safe distance away.

"Riku." Zero's serious—not that he isn't always serious, but you know what I mean—voice brought me to a complete stop in my tracks, and I braced myself for the question that was bound to come. It has, after all, been a week since _that_ night. The night that I found out Shiki had lied to me—it's been a whole week since then, and Zero and Yuuki hadn't questioned me about it.

I knew Zero would prefer to ask me alone.

My eyes closed as I turned around to look at him. Keeping my cool façade on, I asked him, "What is it?"

He scoffed, obviously not buying it. "Don't act like you don't know," he tilted his head up towards the moon, and I couldn't help but notice how his hair shined and his eyes gleamed when the moonlight hit them—don't get me wrong. It's not that I've never admired how handsome Zero was before—trust me, I have, a ton of times, actually—but I couldn't help but compare him to the Night Class students. And I realized that he looked like them—pale skin, inhumanly gorgeous faces, very fit and well-built body…

And yet he was so different.

I sighed internally. "Zero…"

"What _is_ it?" Zero inquired, turning his head to look at me straight in the eye—I could detect the betrayal in his eyes as he looked at me, and it made me flinch. He was hurt that I didn't tell him—he's feeling betrayed that he doesn't know my secret, and yet, I know his.

Zero didn't pay attention to my flinch as I looked in his eyes. "What are you hiding from us? _Why_ are you hiding it?"

My heart squeezed. I was hurting Zero—I was hurting Yuuki… Because I was… My eyes closed. "I can't tell you, Zero. I just… Can't."

"Bullshit," he muttered, irritation tainting his tone. "You _can_ tell us. You just don't want to," he accused, his eyes narrowing at me. I flinched again at his critical stare—it was like he didn't trust me anymore. Like he didn't know if I was a friend or enemy now.

But I couldn't deny his words—they were true, and yet, they weren't at the same time. "Zero, I…" I paused, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I stared up at the dark, midnight-blue sky, where the moon shone brightly.

Exhaling, I mumbled, "I want to tell you, Zero… I really do."

"Then say it already!" He exclaimed in a half-yell, half-normal voice. His eyes flashed with anger, and I saw them turn a bright crimson before they turned back to their usual lavender. His pale white hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides as he looked at me, his face emotionless except for the slight aggravation he showed.

Never in my life have I seen Zero so _mad_ at me. He and I had arguments daily, but they were usually things that didn't really matter, and we both knew that. It was just a way to bond with each other—we never really meant any of the things we said and we both knew that, so that the words were never taken to our hearts. Sure, we got mad at each other before, it's not like we never fought, but we usually made up a day later at the max. Even when we were mad, we never _yelled_ at each other or came close to it.

Looking at Zero right now, I could tell he was _furious_ with me. He was practically seething out anger, and I think that he's taking this _especially_ hard. It's not as if Yuuki choosing Kaname isn't enough—he finds out that I'm not telling him something and yet, I know everything about him. He's _always_ been angry—always stressing because the love of his love is getting taken away from him, and yet…

…Why do all these things always happen to me?

"Z-Zero…" I stuttered—I was afraid. I've never seen Zero's wrath before, and I hope that I never have to. But by the look on his face, I don't think that he'll be able to conceal his anger any longer. I tried to calm him down. "You don't understand…"

Okay. _Wrong_ thing to say.

His fists clenched even tighter, and he spat the words out through his teeth. "I understand," he told me, his voice clam, and yet, that's what made him sound _so_ much more pissed off. "You don't trust us."

"No!" I protested, horrified at that idea. "I'm offended that you would even _think_ that!"

I've known Zero and Yuuki for _how_ long? Practically my whole life, and we've _always_ been friends. There were never any secrets in between us—not counting this one—and we did everything together. As three. We've formed bonds of trust with one another so strong that I doubt anything could break it—_anything_. But here comes Zero, waltzing in like he wants to just stab me in the eye with a pencil, and goes around telling me about _my_ feelings and _my_ trust towards them.

Has it been like that along? Has he never trusted me at all?

No.

I don't want to believe—I _don't_ believe it at all. There's no way that Zero would just _fake_ that kind of trust that we have with one another—it's so unlikely. So not… I don't believe it. Our trust can't be something replaceable, and we can't just be faking it. It's real—our trust between the three of us. And maybe… That's why I don't want to tell them my secret.

Because it'll break our trust.

"Then what is it?" Zero almost growled, taking a step towards me, his eyes flashing red again.

"I can't tell you, Zero!" I almost screamed it at him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and my vision become blurry due to the liquid. But I've learned to conceal my feelings—that's how it's been. How it _has_ to be. Blinking hard to push back the tears, I repeated in a calm voice, "I can't tell you…"

It was quiet for a moment as we stared at each other.

After a few moments of silence, he decided to ask me again. "Why? What's the reason?"

I closed my eyes. "…It's because I'm too selfish," I whispered. I knew that he was probably confused with my answer, so I decided to continue and explain it a little further.

"Zero… If I tell you and Yuuki, what if you two don't want to be my friend anymore? What if, after finding out what I really am, you guys don't want to have anything to do with me? Call me selfish, Zero, but I don't want to lose you guys. Not now. Not ever. And I'm not willing to take that chance—the chance of losing you because I chose to tell you."

His eyes were cautious. "Are you too much of an idiot to realize that if you don't tell us, the chances of us being lost by you is higher than you explaining?"

"I thought about that," I muttered. "But if I tell you, I'm absolutely positive you'll try and find a solution or something for me, or try and help me when the time comes. And if, or when, the time comes, I don't want you two to have to get hurt because of me."

"'When the time comes?'"

Slowly, I nodded my head. "You'll find out sooner or later, Zero. You're not an idiot. Read in between the lines—work that intelligent brain of yours and try to find out every single thing I could mean when I said that."

"I have about five different meanings in my head, none of which are pleasant," he grumbled, scowling. He looked me straight in the eye with his lavender ones, like he was contemplating whether or not he should trust me. His eyes were hard—suspicious. But at the same time, when I looked in them, I saw the trust that contradicted with his betrayal.

"I'll tell you," I told him. "I promise I will—Just… Not now."

Zero was frustrated—it didn't take a genius to tell. He was probably having an inner-battle within himself, and he gave me a hard stare. "You will." It was a statement, not a question. It was more like he was demanding me to tell him, and that I had to no matter what. His tone of voice told me I didn't have a choice.

I would tell him sooner or later.

No questions asked.

"I will," I repeated. "I promise…"

He shook his head slightly, almost in a disgusted way.

A pang of hurt hit my chest. It wasn't the kind of hurt and anger I felt towards Shiki, and _still_ felt towards him. No… It hurts _so_ much worse. So, so much worse. It's like when your bestest (Yes, it's not a word, but who cares?), best, _best, __best_ friend accuses you of stealing their last chocolate bar when they _knew_ you didn't do it, but still start some sort of huge argument about it. It was similar to that, but the hurt was magnified a hundred times.

No hurt could ever surpass this amount I felt as I stared into Zero's eyes.

It hurt _bad_.

"…What happened?"

I gave Zero a confused look. "Happened with what?"

His face was set back into his usual scowl, and I could visibly see him relax. "The bloodsucker," Zero informed me curtly. His eyes were bitter and his lips pulled deeper into a scowl as he the words left his lips, and even though he didn't say the name, I already knew which "bloodsucker" he was referring to.

Another pang of hurt crashed down onto me, but this time, it was different. It wasn't as intense as it was when Zero looked at me like I was a complete stranger, but it still hurt a lot more than it should've.

Instead of having your best friend accuse you of stealing cookies, it was almost like… Almost like, on the first day of kindergarten, you meet this kid who you thought, at that time, could become a really good friend. And then, around a week or so later, you guys are playing with ABC blocks happily… Until they yank your hair and call you a boogerface.

You know? It was just kind of like _that_ kind of hurt.

Zero and I have been friends for so long, and it was obvious that what happened with Shiki wouldn't hurt as much as the little episode with Zero. I wasn't quite sure why, though, it hurt so much more than it _should_ have.

There are glares given to me every day by other students, and teachers practically stare at me loathingly all day long. Night Class students look at me in disgust and wrinkle their noses whenever I'm near them, almost like I had this putrid scent radiating off of me. And this never really bugged me.

So why did it seem such a big deal?

My face instantly smoothed out into one void of emotion. "Nothing," I told him flatly, averting my eyes away.

A small, almost non-existent, scoff.

I sighed. "Nothing happened," I repeated dully. "He was just someone I talked to, I guess. It wasn't like we were friends or anything."

Actually, we were.

For three days.

Zero looked at me with a grimace like usual, but I could tell he was analyzing me with disbelieving eyes. His face twisted slightly, but he didn't say anything. Instead, I saw something flitter across his face for a few brief seconds before it disappeared just as quickly as it came.

I stared at him in bewilderment, my voice a whisper, "You care?"

He shot me a dull look before it was replaced with a scowl. His face contorted slightly, like he was trying to force his face into it's usual half-scowl half-grimace kind of look. He shrugged his shoulders slightly and stated, "Think what you want."

Happiness crashed down on me—Zero cared. He wasn't _completely_ pissed off at me, and he didn't exactly despise me, either. It was amazing, really, how _happy_ I felt.

A small smile came onto my face. "You care, Zero? You don't hate me?"

He scoffed. "You said you'll tell me," he stated. "Good enough."

I swear that my eyes were shining like diamonds when those words left his mouth. "Really?" I couldn't keep the nonchalant tone in my voice anymore. Emotions—relief, surprise, happiness and whatnot—flowed into my voice as I stared at Zero.

He didn't say anything in response. Instead, he tilted his head up towards the sky again. He inhaled deeply, his chest heaving. He held the breath in for a few moments before he exhaled, opening his eyes and stuffing his hands in his pockets again. Zero's lavender eyes were once again void of any emotion, and he asked nonchalantly, "What'd he do?"

Shaking my head at his question, I closed my eyes.

I sighed internally. "…Nothing," I replied flatly, making sure that the hurt didn't leak into my voice. If I let it show then Zero would definitely catch on. There's no doubt he'd go and gladly kill Shiki or something without really thinking about it. And while he's there, he's probably going to start something with Kaname, too, which will get Yuuki and all the other vampires involved…

Zero gave me a suspicious look. He obviously didn't believe me, and I didn't like the way his light violet eyes had a certain spark to it. It was almost like he was planning to do something, but… I don't think Zero's as reckless as running into the Moon Dorms and shooting blindly.

After a while, he shrugged his shoulders in an uncaring manner.

Not really wanting to talk some more about Shiki—the lying bastard—I decided to change the topic. I bit down on my lower lip slightly. "About that new Night Class student…"

The two of us spotted Yuuki and the new girl walking back towards the Night Class classroom, the tour most likely finished. Zero and I glanced at each other before we began walking after them, behind in a distance. You can never be sure what those vampires could do—hell, you never know what _Yuuki_ would do. Though she never intends it, she can be very… Talkative.

And sometimes, people don't like that.

"We need to watch her," I grumbled, ducking under a large tree branch that was in the way.

Zero didn't seem very happy about what I said. "'We'?" He asked, scowling.

I nodded my head once. "Yes, 'we'."

"Why can't _you_ do it?" Zero retorted. He calmly, and gracefully, jumped over a spot on the ground. I had no idea why he did it—I thought he was weird. I was proven wrong, however, when I took one single step on the wet grass there and slipped. I would've fallen face-first into that pile of grass if I didn't grab onto a nearby tree, steadying myself.

Scowling, I carefully pulled myself up and jumped over the wet spot, walking faster to catch up to Zero. "You could've warned me," I complained.

He didn't even bother responding as he continued walking, his eyes locked on the new girl. A vibe was coming off of Zero in waves—it didn't take a genius to tell that Zero didn't like the new girl at all. I don't think he likes _any_ of the Night Class students, actually… Mainly because they're all "bloodsucking parasites" as he calls them.

And yes, he refers to himself as well.

My face twisted slightly. "Zero?"

He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "What?" He asked.

"…You love Yuuki, don't you?"

The question was so surprising to him that he stopped dead in his tracks, his lavender eyes widened just slightly. His body tensed, and I'm pretty sure he clenched his fists inside his Day Class uniform. He stared at me deeply—not in the way that meant he wanted to kill me for asking him something like that or that he was mad. He looked at me like he wasn't sure how to respond.

My face was set in a sympathetic grimace as I looked at him—I saw how much it hurt him to have to endure seeing Yuuki be all lovey-dovey around Kaname, and I could see how much he wanted it to be him. His feelings for Yuuki weren't that of siblings or close friends—he _loved_ her. He wanted a more intimate relationship with her.

But he knew he wouldn't get it.

Zero blinked slowly, and then began to walk again in silence. He continued walking straight, towards the cement balcony in front of, but below, the class the Night Class studies in. We saw Yuuki and the Night Class student enter through the main entrance, so it's safe to assume that they were on their way up to the classroom—everyone would be able to hear if anything happened.

The two of us took the stairs up to the balcony, both of us not saying a word. Our footsteps hardly made any sound as we climbed up the stairs. It was colder up here, but not unbearable. The nights were getting colder and colder, since winter is so near. But it didn't really bother me, and I'm sure it didn't bother Zero, either.

He leaned against the cement fence that was built to keep everyone from falling off, closing his eyes. He crossed his arms across his chest, and I knew he wasn't going to answer.

How is it possible for him to answer my question when his brain was already going crazy? Zero probably didn't even know his own thoughts about Yuuki, let alone how he feels about her.

I sat down on the top of the thick cement fence, my face down as my eyes stared at the gray floor. My hands gripped the edge tightly, my knuckles turning white. We were so close to the Night Class students that I could feel their aura—I could smell each and every single one of them because their window was open.

I smelt _him_.

Yuuki's smell and aura, along with the new girl's, soon entered the room, and though I couldn't hear it, I'm sure Yuuki was spluttering about how sorry she is for being later and then blushing as that Kaname dude caresses her face like she's some sort of special doll or something. And then it wouldn't be hard to figure out the new girl introducing herself and everyone welcoming her and blah, blah, blah…

The silver-haired teen and I were consumed in our own thoughts, not really bothering to try and make conversation with each other. We both knew that the other person was already in a trance, and besides, it was a comfortable silence. Even after I asked that question, there's been no tension.

I felt two pairs of eyes burning holes on the top of my head. It was probably Yuuki—she would be staring at me and hoping that I would look up so she could wave and give me the thumbs up or something.

Sighing, I lifted my head up.

Wrong.

Behind the clear, clear class of the Night Class' classroom, I saw Shiki standing there with his hands in his pockets, his face impassive and bored as his blue eyes looked down at me. But it wasn't _that_ that surprised me—I saw Shiki sometimes. We just never talked.

It was who was next to him.

A girl with long, navy blue hair had her arms around his neck. Her hair was long and was slightly curled and waved, like she had it done at a salon right before she came. Her skin was pale, a dark aura emitting from her.

Her face was so close to Shiki's it wasn't funny—it looked like she wanted to lick his face. In fact, I bet you she did—her tongue flicked out and she licked her lips as she whispered something in his ear. She turned her head to see what he was staring at.

Dark violet eyes met light lavender ones, and I felt as if someone had just rammed a giant spear into my chest. I felt the breath leave my lungs when she looked at me with her patronizing pair of eyes. My eyes widened at the sight of her, and I swear my heart completely stopped.

She raised an eyebrow at me, and her ruby-red lips curled up into an evil, menacing smile. She pulled Shiki close to her as if she _knew_ I didn't like to see them that close.

And _I_ knew why _she_ was here.

I was vaguely aware of Zero shaking my shoulder, but it was hardly noticeable to me. My vision began to blur, and I saw chickens flying with pigs.

I saw her lips curl up into a sadistic grin, and before I knew it, darkness hit me right in the head and I fell unconscious.

* * *

**A / N :**

Yes, this is the end of the chapter. It's already Day sixteen, considering the one week that I fastforwarded.

This chapter is going to be heading into the next chapter, which will be the _part one_ portion of Riku's big secret. So, _yes_. The next chapter _will_ involve Shiki again, and it _will_ start about Riku's secret, so please stay tuned!

I know that this chapter didn't really have much, but this new female student... What do you guys think of her? And, I know that Shiki isn't really in this chapter, but I felt like I needed to explain Zero and Riku's relationship with one another, you know? That, and maybe because I kind of wanted him to have a whole chapter to himself 'cause I totally adore him, but that's not the point! I don't know... It's just, some of you guys may consider Zero OOC in this story, and yet, some of you might actually understand my perspective.

Riku and Zero have been friends for a long, _long_ time. And she's actually one fo those people he lets slip through his barriers, you know? So, I don't know. I tried to make him as IC as possible, but still trying to make him seem like a close friend with Riku. I don't know how well _that_ succeeded, and I'm sorry if you didn't like it.

SPECIAL THANK YOU TO... :   
**  
Raserei B. Wolf, JuJukins, twilightchick13, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, Anonymous, basil795, twindarkstar.05, Serena Lockhart, and KurosuX**

Yep, thank you to you very much for reviewing for me! I appreciate it greatly, and also, very big thank you to those who story-alerted or favourited! It means a lot to me! ;D

Oh, and by the way, I don't bite. I don't know how many of you have noticed this, but I'm not the kind of person to start spazzing at you if you don't agree with my opinion and everything, you know? I'm just the kind of laid-back kinda gal. You can disagree with me, and I'd just sit back in my chair and nod my head, and then respond with a simple, casual, "Cool." Or something. I just... You know. I just don't go all crazy on you, okay? XP

Keep that in mind when you give me reviews or when you answer my questions! ;D

Now, 'cause I totally love hearing your responses, the question this time will be...

**Who do you prefer more? Aidou Hanabusa or Kain Akatsuki?**

I'm interested in hearing you answer on which cousin you'd prefer more! ;D Oh, and for those who are curious to _my_ answer to the question for the previous chapter, my answer is a plain, blunt, and simple... NO WAY IN HELL! It's not like I'm a YuukixKaname fan or anything, either. It's just I plainly dislike Yuuki, and I don't think she should be with Zero _or_ Kaname. I'm not bashing her or anything, I'm just stating my opinion. I think that, out of all the characters in Vampire Knight and Vampire Knight Guilty, she's the one character that I dislike the most (Despite Kuran Rido and Ichijou Asato). Don't ask me why, but I just don't like her. At all.

But she's cute, I guess... And nice... I guess....

Okay, I'm just gonna stop talking.

I hope that you guys will continue to support me by reading, reviewing, story-alerting, or favouriting! ;D I'd appreciate this greatly, so...

_Please_ review!

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-

﻿


	10. Stop Running Away

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters.**

**A / N :**

Oh, gosh. It wasn't until I went on the sight and looked through the list of fanfictions for Shiki did I come across my own story and realize how long I haven't updated. I mean, the last time I updated was on September 29th, right? And now it's like, what, October the 15th? The time just seemed to fly by so fast, you know? It seemed almost like it was yesterday when I last posted up my ninth chapter to Shitsuren. I'm so sorry for not updating in so long, but with school and the homework, it's difficult to try and fit everything in my schedule. Drama is already happening and everything, and my brain is just running blanks more often when I even attempt to edit or re-write the chapters. I finally got this up after so long, and I sincerely hope that you guys will forgive me for this late, late update!

I have really good news for you guys!

_SHITSUREN HAS REACHED OVER ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS_!

Man, I was completely ecstatic when I found out! I never, _ever_ thought that I would get so many reviews when I first wrote this fanfiction. I mean, I didn't even think that I would get even half the amount of reviews. But, with your awesome support and your faith in me and this story, we made it! I'm _extremely_ thankful to everyone who reveiwed for me. Every. Single. One. Of. You. I would _eat_ you guys up and, like, hug you guys to death right now if I could. The stupid, idiotic supernova smile I had on my face when i got my 100th review just wouldn't leave my face for the rest of the day. And the next. And the next. It was just really super, you know? The feeling I got.

My hundredth reviewer was arisu rin, so big thanks to you! ;D

But, don't think that you're not special just 'cause you're not the hundredth reviewer. **_ALL_** of you guys are super awesome in my books. The awesomeness you guys radiant just blind me.

So, once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH! -bows- I cannot thank you guys enough for this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And I'm sorry.

Sorry for taking so long to update, sorry for writing such long author notes, sorry for not being able to write individual responses to you, sorry for not being able to express the amount of thanks I feel for all of my fabulous reviewers.

Please, just stop reading this pathetic A/N and continue reading. Read on, my dearest readers, read on.

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER T_E_N :**

_"Stop Running Away."_

_

* * *

  
_DAY SEVENTEEN.

* * *

I sighed, leaning against a tree. I was on patrol again—it was around twelve-thirty in the morning right now.

Suddenly, as the breeze flowed by, I could smell the faint metallic smell of blood. My eyes widened slightly, and my head whipped towards the direction where it came from. I quickly ran towards the source, pushing away any branches I could, jumping and ducking under the ones I couldn't overpower. I felt the thorns of some bushes scratch my long, thigh-high socks, but I didn't pay any attention to it.

I almost tripped over a large rock, and I almost ran into a tree because I was in such a hurry. Blood on grounds was a bad, bad, bad thing.

My breathing was heavy as I burst into a small place without trees. There was only enough room to maybe fit four people standing, and that was it. My eyes didn't even adjust yet to everything yet. Running as fast as my legs could carry me made everything a blur of green and brown.

"Are you alright?" I asked, trying to catch my breath. My hands were on my knees as I bent forward, my heart bumping. When I finished talking, for that small moment of silence, I could hear just how labored my breathing was. It was extremely loud in my own ears, so loud, in fact, that I felt slightly embarrassed to whoever would be in front of me right now. I mean, really. I sound like a cat that's gasping her last breath before she goes under.

"Oh?" A high, feminine voice asked, not sounding very surprised.

I snapped my head up and stared into _her_ face.

Her dark purple eyes stared into my light violet ones, and it felt like she had, once again, pierced something through me brutally. I broke eye contact using a ton of effort. It was almost as if there was some invisible force that pulled my eyes towards hers and held them there using tons of metal bars.

My eyes got dragged away from her face and landed on the pad of her index finger, where it looked like a thorn or something cut it.

The scent was _disgusting_.

"Do you want to play?" She purred, her eyes flashing a bright red. The smell radiating off her was sickening. It was too sweet. It's not like your average kind of sweet. It's like a revolting, make-you-want-to-puke-your-guts-out kind of sweet. I mean, if it was something as good as Yuuki's cinnamon buns, then it'd be a different story, but nothing related to this vile woman can be _sweet_.

Her smell was so disgusting that I couldn't stand it for more than a second. Covering my mouth and nose with my hand, I whirled back on my heel and made a run for it. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me—I ran as long as I could to get away from _her_.

Everything around me just became blurs of green and brown once again.

My legs—I have no idea why—carried me to the oak tree clearing where I first had a decent conversation with Shiki. I practically ran into the tree headfirst like an idiot. My legs were tired. They were practically burning from running so far and so fast.

I tried catching my breath as I just stood there, my forehead resting against the trunk of the oak tree. I panted heavily, gasping for air like I would never be able to breathe again the rest of my life.

What Yuuki and Zero told me yesterday flashed into my mind.

_"I came and saw you unconscious in Zero's arms. I was so worried… Zero and I didn't know what was wrong with you—we thought maybe you were just really tired and collapsed. Then only a minute or two after I arrived, Ichijou-senpai and Shiki-senpai came. Ichijou-senpai was really worried about you, and I'm sure Shiki-senpai was too. He looked sort of mad, too—I saw his eyes flash red before they returned to their normal shade.  
_

_"Zero looked up in the direction you had been looking at before and saw nothing—he wanted to run up there and see what was wrong, but then we thought that getting you back was better. Shiki-senpai checked your pulse and said you were just fine—that you were only unconscious…  
_

_"What happened, Riku?"_

Shiki? Shiki actually caring what the hell happens to me? He should already know what the hell was wrong! It was that woman—that freaking _girl_! The one that had her arms wrapped around him and her body pressed against him as if they were dating and in love and whatnot!

Who the hell have I been kidding?!

Shiki and I will never be friends. We're not the same—he's a vampire, and I'm… Well… I'm… I'm just not _fit_ for him!

I was living a lie—I was absorbed in my own little fantasy when I thought I should be friends with Shiki or Ichijou. I was kidding myself—I just _wanted_ it to be possible. I wanted to be able to become friends with them because I thought that they wanted to be friends, too. Well, obviously, now I know that it isn't possible.

They had me fooled. I had followed them around blindly, not knowing what lurked under those flashing smiles that Ichijou sent my way, or the slight, almost nonexistent concern I would hear in Shiki's voice sometimes when we talked.

Lies. All of it.

"_Damn_ _it_," I whispered to myself. I don't know what came over me, but I felt my knuckles make contact with the rough tree bark. I stared blankly at the dark brown, bumpy bark in front of me. I didn't care that I was punching a tree like a maniac—it didn't matter. Nothing should matter anymore, because _she's_ here, and that never means anything good.

When my hand made contact with the tree bark again, I didn't lift it up and punch the tree with my other hand again. Instead, I just left my fist there, and slowly, I sunk to the floor, dragging my hand down with me.

I closed my eyes.

"Damn it…" I repeated to myself flatly in a whisper. I felt like banging my head against the tree when I heard his smooth, flat voice.

"What're you doing?" He asked nonchalantly.

I tensed instantly, and I _felt_ it. I felt like someone had just punched my gut, and this feeling was followed by a warm tingling sensation that ran down my left arm and leg.

I could feel _everyone_ around us, and I do mean _everyone_. The whole Night Class students—the ones that Shiki hangs out with—were hidden in the trees. They were watching and eavesdropping, just sitting back and watching. I could feel Yuuki and Zero in there, too.

Huh. We had an audience?

Great, great…

I didn't respond. Instead, I pushed myself off the tree and stood up, ignoring his stare as I did so. I turned swiftly on my heels and began walking away in a very non-graceful way, my eyes still closed. It didn't matter where I was heading as long as it was away from him.

Away from his voice… His presence.

But what words came out of his silky smooth voice brought me to a stop. "Do me a favor," he stated casually. "And stop avoiding me."

I wanted to stab myself or something right now. Why did I just _have_ to give him three favors? Why didn't I say anything about not being able to tell me what to do when I was pissed off?

Holy crap.

Why was I idiotic enough to actually tell him I would do it even if it was against my own will as long as I didn't wind up killing myself? I wasn't regretting it before—I never thought this would happen, but _damn_! Now I'm hating myself more than ever. I didn't even expect him to say anything about it, actually. I thought he didn't care and that he'd never use them. He doesn't' seem like the guy to ask you for favors if you know what I mean.

Damn, I'm stupid.

"…I'm not avoiding you," I lied completely, not turning to look at him.

He didn't sound convinced; just bored. "You suck at lying."

Huh. I guess that dream I had a week ago wasn't completely fake. I _do_ suck at lying. How great… They say lying is bad and everything, and that you'd get sent to hell for it or something. News flash to everyone who doesn't know? I'm going to hell already, so screw being an angel. I'll lie all I want to—I _will_ lie all the time if I have to in order to get away from him. From her. From everyone who causes me such…

"What do you _want_?" I asked, my tone flat.

"I left you alone for a week," he told me, sounding cautious about how he words his sentences. "To give you space because I knew you were pissed at me. And now, after a week, I decided to stop this nonsense."

I couldn't help myself. "_Nonsense?_" I repeated as I opened my eyes and turned to look at him slowly. Normally, I would be swooning over his beauty right now, but this was definitely not the case. Not when I felt so… so… _hurt_.

He stared blankly at me.

"_Great,"_ I told him sarcastically. "You gave me 'space' because I was pissed at you—I applaud you for figuring that out, genius."

My eyes narrowed into a glare. "What '_nonsense'_ are you talking about? Is it the fact that you're not getting any information out of me? Not fulfilling your orders from _Kuran_ to find out what you can about me so that, oh, I don't know? You can kill me afterwards if you think I'm something that can harm Yuuki?

"Damn it to hell. Are you an idiot? Are you just trying to see if I'll come out and lash at you if you piss me off enough? For the love of god, Shiki, really. If you wanted information from me the easiest and fastest way possible, you should've just taken Yuuki as a hostage and threaten me. If Kuran doesn't want to pretend to use Yuuki like that, then you could've taken _any_ other Day Class student—anyone except Zero. He's the only exception because I _know_ that he's not idiotic enough to get himself held hostage. He's too stubborn to be used like that.

"Why do you bother talking information out of me when you probably already know? Why do you keep pretending to be my friend when what I am is so _obvious_ to you vampires?"

That was probably the _most_ I had spoken at once, and it felt extremely strange. I haven't said that much in the past four years—it's like a completely new feeling to me. I didn't _want_ to talk so much.

Shiki had been staring at me blankly the whole time I ranted at him like a moron. His face was bored as he blinked at me, and in a casual voice, he replied, "I wasn't pretending."

"…If I could, I would steal Zero's Bloody Rose from him right now and shoot you," I told him bluntly, my voice dripping with venom. I was _so_ pissed off right now—I wasn't mad at him before, but now that I'm actually talking to him, and he_ still_ has that look on his face after what he did to me, I can't help but feel the rage pumping through my veins again.

"Would it make you feel better?" Shiki asked blandly.

His question caught me by surprise. "_What_?"

"If you shot me, would you feel better and forgive me?" He repeated, expanding a bit on what he meant.

I stared at him like an idiot.

Was he saying that he would let me shoot him with an anti-vampire gun to just earn my forgiveness? To just make me feel better? Was he an idiot or something? Because that's what I'm starting to think. Who—extra emphasize if he's a vampire—would willingly let you point a gun at them and shoot them just so that you would feel better? So that you wouldn't be mad?

Why does Shiki even _care_ if I'm mad? Oh wait—let me answer my own question.

Answer : He doesn't.

His footsteps were hardly audible as he walked closer and closer to me as I stared at him blankly. When he was close—around two meters away—I took a step back every time he took a step forward. He stopped eventually, and looked at me.

"What're you saying?" I asked him, wanting to roll my eyes. "That you'd _let_ me shoot you just because you want me to forgive you? Because you want me to feel better?"

He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Think about it that way if you'd like."

"You're kidding."

He shook his head subtly, looking at me and blinking his gorgeous eyes. I saw his long, thick lashes gently graze the skin underneath his eyes, and I actually felt sort of jealous. He had such pretty long eyelashes to frame his extremely breathtaking cerulean eyes. Why couldn't I be blessed with a face even _somewhat_ close to that level of perfection?

I felt something inside of me snap. "Why do you _care_ so much, Shiki? Maybe this is why it hurt so much when I found out a week ago why you were my friend—why it _still_ hurts. It's because it seems so _real_—like you actually care, when, in reality, you're only doing it to end my life as soon as you find out I'm not a normal human. You're too good at acting; _much_ too good. I didn't even notice until I heard it with my own ears why the hell you were always around me."

His eyebrows furrowed so slight that it was almost non-existent. "I wasn't pretending to be your friend," he repeated.

"Sure," I told him sarcastically. "And I'm supposed to believe that we're _actually_ friends?"

He nodded his head once. "Yes."

"Give me one good reason why I should."

"Because it's the truth."

I expected him to laugh and tell me I was an idiot to fall for it again. I just stared at him warily while he stared back at me with a blank expression on his face. It's moments like these where I have no idea what to think because my mind and heart are torn apart into halves. The fact that it's always so silent doesn't help, either.

My mind is telling me to stop being an idiot and that if he hurt me before, he would hurt me again—it was an undeniable fact of reality that if I were to forgive him, I would trust him again as if nothing ever happened, and if he were to hurt me again, it'd just hurt that much more. The voices in my head were scolding me, urging me on to just slap him and run away, or at least tell him straightforwardly I won't forgive him, and then run away.

My heart, on the other hand, is whispering words of reassurance to me that he wouldn't hurt me again—not intentionally. The advice of my heart was like a melody, a beautiful one singing to me, telling me that it was okay to forgive Shiki because he was probably doing it for my own good. My heart was trying to convince me that Shiki had been pretending to his friends, because maybe he wasn't allowed to be friends with me and that it'd put me, and him, in danger or something.

But I didn't know which half to believe.

Heart? Mind? Heart? Mind? Heart? Mind? Heart? Mind? Heart? Mind?

I don't know which one to pick—which one is true. I don't know which one is the choice that I can live on with without regretting it, because I already know that for some reason, I was very attached to Shiki.

My eyes blinked, and then suddenly, something clicked.

The pieces of the puzzle fell into place, letting me read the picture nice and clear.

…I _liked_ Shiki.

It wasn't the like, as in, I like him as a friend, and it's not like I like him as a sibling. The kind of "like" I'm talking about is the fact that I _like_ him _more_ that a friend—_more_ than a sibling. It was the feeling of having a crush.

This explains _a lot_; why I always want to be near him… Why my heart beats faster around him… Why, whenever he's around, I seem to be more at ease… Why he's constantly on my mind and I worry about him or about seeing him… And it explains why it hurt so much when I found out he was only pretending to be my friend.

…But who am I kidding? Shiki doesn't feel the same way about me—he never has, never have, never _will_. It's just like that. I can see it in his eyes that he doesn't think about me that way, so why do I still like him? Why do I like a guy that won't ever like me back the way I like him? Why the hell have I fallen for someone? Why _Shiki_?

My face twisted slightly as I thought deeply about this—in fact, I was thinking _so_ deeply, that I didn't even notice Shiki was only a meter away from me.

When I looked up and saw him so close, I instantly scrambled away, almost tripping in the process. He blinked at me blankly, his hands still stuffed inside his pockets.

Great.

I have a crush on a vampire.

When the hell did this even happen? _How_ did it happen? Why, why, out of all things or people that I could've fallen in love with, why did it need to be Shiki Senri, son of Kuran Rido, vampire? Why, why, _why_ did I need to fall in love? I didn't want this. Didn't ask for it.

Why?

After another minute or two of silence, Shiki asked, "What can I do to gain your forgiveness?"

…Why does he care… so much…?

Slowly, I shook my head and took a step back. "Prove to me you're not lying."

Shiki studied me carefully, making sure to keep his eyes carefully blank and his face empty of any emotion. He took a step forward, and I took a step back. His eyes bored into mine for a moment before he said, "I'll let you shoot me with Kiryuu's Bloody Rose."

Once again, I shook my head. "No," I told him. "That's not fair—you know I don't do it."

"Then what do you want me to do?" He asked. Maybe it was just me, but I think I heard a slightly irritated tone in his voice.

"Tell me—honestly—why you said to Aidou that you were just with me to get information," I muttered. I didn't bother with all the "-senpai" and "-san" crap at the moment. If they want me to rip them to shreds, they can do it later. I'll gladly welcome them.

"I was ordered to find information on you—not to be your friend," Shiki told me bluntly. "But I did. Telling Aidou-san would mean him blabbing it out to Kaname-sama. I had no idea what would happen to you, or me, if he were to find out."

I almost wanted to fly into the trees, grab Kaname by his hiding spot, and stab Celia through his head. I gauged Shiki carefully, searching his face and eyes for any sign of a lie. But even if I continued to stare and stare, all I could find in his eyes were honestly and sincerity. He wasn't lying—nothing proved that he was. But I didn't know if I still believed him.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" I asked him sarcastically. He already knew that I knew that everyone was in the woods, listening to our conversation. It was obvious, especially because of the slight rustles and whispers that were heard every now and then, and maybe even a few thumps like someone fell to the floor or got hit in the head.

Shiki shrugged slightly. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"_Pardon_?" I asked.

He stared at me blankly. "It's allowed," he said slowly, "To be friends with you."

I blinked. "You need _permission_ to be my friend?"

What kind of sick bastard is Kaname? What gives _him_ the right to tell people who they can, and can't, be friends with? For the love of god—he orders people around and is like a monotone, freakish guy who sometimes has that creepy pedophile vibe around him! I mean, really—do you _see_ the way he looks at Yuuki and everything? I honestly have _no_ idea what the hell Yuuki sees in him.

"In ways," Shiki replied.

I took a step back from him. "Great," I told him, acid seething into my tone. "Your life is ruled by Kuran—what is this? Some sort of sick vampire law?" I was aware that there were rustles in the bushes and whispers—probably Ruka wanting to come and rip my throat out.

"Personally, I've never held a grudge against Kuran for Yuuki's sake, and yet, at the same time, I _do_ hold grudges against him for Zero. I'm contradicting myself, and I know it doesn't make sense, but I think this is the first time I've ever felt any hatred towards him for my own reasons.

"Telling people who you can and can't be friends with? I understand Kuran's a Pureblood, but Shiki, I've known research about everyone in the Night Class. I've hacked computer systems—sneaked into sealed off rooms to get information on all of you. I don't know if you realize this, but you have the same blood running through your veins as Kuran does."

I saw Shiki's eyes narrow slightly at me.

"Maybe your society doesn't consider you a Pureblood because your mother wasn't one, but it doesn't change the fact that you _do_ have _some sort_ of Kuran blood running through you. You're Kuran's cousin! I don't think he's coldhearted enough to hurt you or _any_ of the Night Class students. If you tell me he abuses you guys I'll kill him in his sleep if it will make things easier."

"What're you getting at?" Shiki asked me dully.

"My point is that you're a stupid idiot who needs to get stabbed in the brain!"

Shiki's eyes closed as he sighed almost silently. He opened his eyes not too much longer after he sighed, and I saw his face wrinkle slightly.

Realizing I didn't ask him something I should've from the beginning, I decided to ask him now. "How did you know I was here? I thought you said you left me alone."

His blue eyes stared into my purple ones for a long, long moment. I saw his eyes flash a bright red crimson before they returned to a calming light blue again. His face and eyes were still vacant of any emotion. It was like some sort of barrier was put up there or something to prevent anyone from seeing through his bored façade.

"You really don't know?" He asked, blinking.

I stared at him blankly. "…Am I supposed to know?" What the hell was he getting at? How the hell was _I_ supposed to know what _he_ did to get himself here?

He took steps towards me, and like I was doing before, I took steps back. I saw his lips turn into a slight grimace for a few seconds before his face turned back to the bored facial expression. He began to walk in my direction again, but I noticed that this time his strides were a lot quicker—much larger, too. I had hardly gotten four steps behind me when I saw him right in front of me.

He stared down at me.

I wanted to tell him to stop showing off, but my words were caught in my throat when I felt his hand touch mine. I could hear my heart thumping like a jack hammer inside my chest, and I kept blinking my eyes like an idiot. The pumping of blood through my veins was so loud that it was embarrassing—especially because every single vampire here could hear it.

He picked my hand up gently—so gently, in fact, that I hardly felt it.

"What the _hell_ are you—"

My sentence trailed off when he lifted my hand up to my face. I stared at it like a moron. My hand's knuckles were busted. The skin had ripped off from when I was punching the tree idiotically in a way to release my anger, and blood was coming out—_still_ coming out, even after so long. The blood flowed down my fingers. Warm, crimson liquid that fell drop by drop.

I glanced at my other hand, lifting it up slightly. Sure enough, that hand was busted up too, blood dripping down my fingers.

So… _That_ was how everyone found me—by the smell of my blood. Not very surprising.

It was silent for a moment—the only sound was the soft thuds as my blood dropped onto the ground, staining the grass and leaves. It was in this moment that I wondered if Shiki wanted my blood right now—if _any_ of them wanted my blood.

Shiki slowly lifted my hand up to his face, and I thought he was going to lick my blood. But he didn't. Instead, after a few seconds, he brought it back down, his nose slightly wrinkled.

"Your blood…" he paused. "It smells..." He trailed off, wrinkling his nose again like it was the most ghastly thing he's ever breathed into his system.

"I'm _glad_ that you don't like my blood," I hissed out flatly. However, that was a lie. Though it's weird, and even slightly revolting, I wanted him to have licked my blood.

He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. He raised an eyebrow at me slightly, and then asked, "Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

I wanted to face-palm myself. "…You're asking me that like you actually need something to make me want to forgive you. Telling me my blood smells horrible doesn't qualify."

A smirk tugged at his lips, but he didn't let it show. "I'm not going to beg," he told me.

"You're going to let me shoot a gun at you, and yet, you won't beg?" I asked him, wanting to snort. How ironic.

He shrugged. "Begging will look pathetic."

It made me wonder if he thinks getting shot is a lot cooler. Can you imagine that? Having some guy stand in the middle of a clearing with a girl holding a gun that'll be shot at any second? And then, not long after being shot, he gets all bloody and collapses and then the girl has to carry him back to the hospital or infirmary where he'll be stuck in bed for a few days?

Oh yeah.

Totally not pathetic.

I looked up at him—looked into his eyes. Accusation tainted my tone. "You still want to confirm your thoughts, don't you?"

He blinked at me, staring at me blankly. "Yes," he said stiffly.

My eyes narrowed at him, and almost instantly, I had torn my hand away from his, taking strides back away from him slowly, keeping my eyes trained on him intensely. I was scared to even blink--scared that in the nanosecond that I close my eyes, something would happy. He blinked at me, blinking his eyes like he wanted to ask me what I was doing.

I turned my back on him so that he couldn't see my face. My head was hung slightly, my eyes on the ground. My long bangs covered my eyes, creating shadows. I clenched my fists tightly together, and I knew what I had to do.

Shiki didn't say anything, but the question was obvious; _What are you doing?_

I closed my eyes, and then I _felt_ it. My eyes began to hurt, my fists began to shake and tremble violently. I also felt this tingling sensation go through my body, and it was followed by an electric zap. I didn't do anything—I just waited until the jolt had gone all throughout my body, and when my fists finished shaking, I unclenched them. I lifted one hand up to my face, the palm resting on my cheek and my fingers blocking one of my eyes.

Slowly, I turned around and looked at Shiki.

His expression didn't change—not really. His eyes only widened slightly, his mouth didn't part. He blinked his eyes at me, and even though he didn't _look_ very shocked, I could see it rolling off of him in waves.

After a moment, he breathed out one word quietly.

"Impossible."

* * *

**A / N :**

I'm so sorry, but I just couldn't resist x3

I hope that you liked this chapter--it's my tenth!-- and that it wasn't completely disappointing. Surprise, surprise! Shiki used his first favor! I wonder how many of you guys were expecting that xD

Super Duper Mega Ulta Special Thanks To ... :

**Nameless Memory, JuJukins, KurosuX, yuzuki0429, Serena Lockhart, Anonymous, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, xXKaminari-TsubasaXx, -meadows and moonbeams-, Valkyrei, IBurnUnicorns, arisu rin, Fun-sized Friend, KusajishiFuktaicho, TenajHguoh, Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes, and I-Eat-My-Vegetables **

MAN, YOU KNOW WHAT? THISSSSS IS THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF REVIEWS I GOT EVER SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER!

The number of reviews for the ninth chapter topped the highest amound of reviews I got for this chapter ebfore, which was twelve reviews for the first chapter. THIS TOPPED IT, BABY! xD

I feel proud, and you should too! So, you know what? Give yourself a pat on the bag and send meh a high-five with your minds. xD I shall receive the message with a bright smile -grins-

Thank you to everyone who read the story and alerted and favourited! ;D I appreciate it greatly!

You guys explode with awesomeness. You guys are like the donuts filled with jelly, you know? Except that you guys have _too_ much jelly (AKA the pure awesomeness) inside you, and the moment someone takes a bite outta ya, you explode and fly everywhere. Of course, I mean this as a good think. You all know that, right? Right? Right? Yeah, good. x3

The answer to the question I asked you guys last time?

I love Aidou more. I mean, I completely adore Kain and love him to pieces, but Aidou is... Aidou is Aidou, you know? I just love him. Especially during the last episode where he asks Kain to choose which hand the marble is in to decide what path he chooses. Man, I thought that what he did was just the cutest and funniest thing ever. You just gotta love that blonde-haired, blue-eyed vampire that controls ice similar to his cerulean eyes ;D

**Question?**

**What did you guys actually think Shiki would use his first favor for? **

I'm really, really curious about your answer, so please include it in your reviews, or send me a private messgae or something, 'kayyyy?

Please leave me a review for this chapter!

The next chapter will explain_ everything, _like what Riku is. It'll explain it, seriously, and it won't be a cliffhanger, so if you wanna find out, please drop me a review if you have the time to!

Once again, I thank you guys so, so much. I love all of you guys as much as I love chocolate. And boy, you guys have NO idea just how much I love chocolate.

I shall see you guys next time~!

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	11. Here Is Your Answer

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters.**

**A / N :**

Ahhh, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long!

School is in full-blast now, you know? And whenever there's school, there's always drama. I have a friend who has a friend who's boyfriend broke up with her, and she's extremely upset about it. And I have this other friend who has this random girl accusing her of stealing her boyfriend when my friend didn't even do anything. And me. I'm caught up in some pretty stupid drama, too. Don't ask me how it happened, because it's all just a blur. One minute, I'm telling my friend how this guy looks cute in a "sweet guy" kinda way, and the next minute, people think I'm a freakshow that likes other girl's boyfriends.

Highschool ain't the greatest.

And to think you'd get used to it after so many years. -sigh- Well, actually, this is only my second year in high school, but you get the point, don't you? XD

Well, I'm sure you're done listening to me rant, so I'll just get to the main points.

I just really wanted to thank you guys SO, SO much for reviewing this story and giving it, and me, so much love. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate it, and I really love you guys to death because of your constant support. Without you guys, I wouldn't have even updated the second chapter, so thank you. You guys are truly the best. x3

I also want to apologize deeply for my late updates. I hope that I can update more frequently later on when the drama around me and my friends are lighter or die down a bit, but yeah... I don't know. Drama is _always_ around the corner, and surprises are everywhere, so I can't be sure. But rest assured, I'm not giving up on this story. I'm very, _very_ sorry to have you guys wait so long for these updates. x.x

You guys are probably thinking, "_God, can I just read the chapter yet? She talks too much,"_ or something, so yes. I'll shut up and let you guys read.

Read on, dear readers, read on...

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER E_L_E_V_E_N :**

_"Here Is Your Answer."_

_

* * *

  
_DAY SEVENTEEN - CONTINUED...

* * *

A moment of silence passed by as we stared at each other for a second.

Breaking the tense silence, I replied, "It's true." As if to prove my point, I reached with one hand to the ribbon I had around my neck, and I pulled it loose. Instead of forming into Celia, my sword for anti-vampires like it usually does, I could feel the smooth, cool metal of my scepter in my hand.

Shiki looked at me blankly, regaining his composure. I saw that his hand twitched slightly, though, like he was angry with me. His voice was plain as he stated, "Everyone thought you had died."

I blinked at him and then let the hand on my face drop. I stabbed the sharp, hook-like end of my staff onto the ground, the metal cutting through the soil with ease. My grip on the long, thin, black body of the staff tightened, and I tried to keep my voice calm and blank like usual.

"I'm a vessel," I told him bluntly. "…I'm an actual person—I'm not a doll that's made to look real. I'm a human… With the legendary sorceress _literally_ living inside me."

"A vessel?" Shiki repeated, his cerulean eyes flashing with some sort of emotion I couldn't quite place.

My eyes shifted to the ground, where it landed on a bright, bold red leaf. When I lifted my hand and waved my finger, the leaf lifted off the ground like someone had picked it up. It hovered in the air, and with another wave of my hand, it floated in a similar fashion as _flying_, over towards me. It circled around me a few times before I let it drop into the palm of my hand. Clenching my hand around the leaf, I saw Shiki's eyes narrow slightly when I opened my palm again.

The leaf was frozen.

My voice was laced with bitterness as I once again clenched my hand around the frozen leaf and crushed it into dust, letting the wind carry the ice particles somewhere. "Yes, a vessel. Apparently, I've been 'chosen' to have the honor of having her live inside me until she can find someone else to go make her nest in." And boy, did I use the word "honor" very loosely.

"She wants to reborn." Shiki didn't say it as a question—it came out flat and emotionless.

Slowly, I nodded my head. "Vengeance," I replied impassively. "She wants to enforce punishment on someone—but whom, I have no idea."

The stupid woman wouldn't tell me…

Shiki seemed slightly amused by this. "You don't know?"

My face blanked. "Know what?"

"I'm sure you know the sorceress living inside you is the legendary Matsuzaki Amaterasu," Shiki said to me, his tone bored. He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his Night Class uniform and walked towards the large oak tree, taking a seat in his usual position. He didn't even look at me as he talked—he just stared straight ahead.

How he never really made eye-contact with me made me aggravated. I mean, seriously, people. What's wrong with looking me in the eye when talking? I know that my eyes aren't a regular colour, but that doesn't mean that my eyes are completely deadly or something.

Did he think that, just by looking in my eyes, he'd turn into stone like I was Medusa?

The fact he hardly ever looked at me when he talked actually kind of stings. I don't know why, but it feels like he doesn't like _looking_ at me or something. Like I'm a hideous person not worth looking into his eyes or getting looked at by him.

God… Am I being over-sensitive or something, or is this just how having a crush on someone is normally like?

Making sure I didn't start to make weird facial expressions because of my thoughts, I nodded my head.

Shiki stared blankly ahead. "Do you know the legends of her?"

Well… If I knew the legends about her, I would know why she's using me as a place for slumber like she's a bear hibernating, wouldn't I, genius?

However, despite my rude thoughts, I shook my head. The woman—the evil, cruel woman—doesn't allow me to go around snooping about her. I can't read any articles about her over the internet or over books… And by can't, I literally mean _can't_. I don't know what she did, but I'm pretty sure she cast a spell on me. Whenever I try looking her up or do research about her, I get knocked out.

Knocked out cold… For at least three days.

A small, almost nonexistent sigh escaped Shiki's lips as he shifted his position. He lifted his pale hand and brushed away a few maroon strands of hair that poked him in the eye before he closed his eyes and began to tell me a story like I was a three-year-old. His tone was kept bored and uncaring, though, and _almost_ slightly exasperated, like he had been repeating this story over and over to me again.

"Matsuzaki Amaterasu… The famous sorceress. She's known to be one of the best, most powerful magicians in history. She lived for hundreds of thousands of years, reigning control over most, if not all, other sorceress and sorcerers. Her intentions were pure, her motivations and goals were all to help the world become a better place. She kept with her goals, wanting to fulfill them before she eventually perishes.

"Everything was fine—even better than fine for over a century. And, at the start of the next year after that peaceful century, she decided to leave her palace for a day and merely roam around. She arrived at a park, where she met a man. Not seeing any harm in mere talking, they engaged in conversation, and by the end of the day, she fell in love.

"Chaos ensued not long after."

This was the most I have seen Shiki spoken. He's not the type to come out as talkative, if you know what I mean. And, even though it may sound really cheesy and everything, I think that one of the reasons why I like Shiki is because that he's quiet, and yet, when he talks… There's something about his voice, or maybe the way he speaks, that makes me want to swoon.

My eyes were fixed on his relaxed, casual position, like talking about things like _magic_ and _sorceresses_ was a natural thing. Well, I wonder if I should break it to him that…

It's not freaking natural to talk about these things!

He blinked his eyes for a moment, like he had just woken up or snapped out of a trance. His eyes shifted from what he was staring at before—which was nothing but air—to staring at the sky.

"Nobody found out about the relationship between those two for a year. However, when one of her loyal companions went out on a specific day to make sure nothing lurked around in town that could be of danger to innocent humans, she found Matsuzaki with that man doing things that friends wouldn't normally do.

"Even though it was breaking the law to fall in love with a human, Matsuzaki's friend didn't want to spread the news. So, when Matsuzaki went back to the palace, her friend confessed what she saw. Matsuzaki was grateful for her friend's loyalty towards her, and they made a pact to not tell anyone.

"Two years later, Matsuzaki was on her way to the park to once again meet the man. However, along the way, she saw him with another woman. Blinded with rage, she tried to use sorcery on the woman. Surprisingly, the woman was also a sorceress, one that, if she wanted, could take over the whole magical realm. The two of them fought, and by accident, Matsuzaki's lover had gotten killed.

"They say to never get distracted in battle, but that's what happened. In the end, she got blown to pieces." He said it so blankly, so…Uncaring. It was almost like having some super strong witch-girl thing getting blown up was something he sees every single day. And I could also tell that he had edited a bunch of stuff out. What did he think I was?

Five?

It's not like I would run away squealing if he told me someone got their arm cut off. I have to admit, I would've felt nauseated and… Maybe… Puke my guts up all over the floor, but _psh_… I'm not going to run away screaming.

Though I don't know if running away is better than puking…

When I didn't respond and continued to stare at the floor dully, Shiki shifted again, and I felt his gaze burn into my head. Blinking my eyes for a few moments to try and rid my thoughts about someone getting their head chopped off—because that's completely unpleasant—I couldn't help but wonder how Shiki knew about this stuff.

Eventually, I lifted my stare up and off the floor to stare up at Shiki's unbelievably unrealistic face. And yes, I mean it as a good thing. Without any emotion in my voice whatsoever, I stated, "She wants to reborn to take revenge on the other sorceress."

He nodded his head once. "Most likely," he stated.

"Is the other sorceress still alive?" I inquired. After all, what was the point in going through so much trouble to reborn if the person you want to kill isn't even alive anymore? I _guess_ you can reborn yourself to relive your youth—isn't that what all adults would like?—or something, but isn't the whole point of doing it to get revenge on that other woman?

Shiki shrugged his shoulders casually. "Nobody knows for certain. The possibility is high, however."

"…All of this for a dead guy," I grumbled under my breath.

Gosh… What people do because of love... Seriously. Maybe it's because I don't know how love works, or maybe because I've never experienced something like this before, but to me, it seems kind of extreme. Though… I don't know—maybe I'll turn be doing something similar in the future.

…The future, huh?

I sighed internally, wondering just what _is_ my future? To be honest…

…I don't even know if there's a future at all.

Shaking away that though and pushing it to the back of my mind, I focused on Shiki, who looked like he wanted to say something.

His eyes were cautious, and I saw the slight hesitation in his voice. "…You are a human with a sorceress living within you." He paused for a second before he continued. "…So why can you use sorcery?"

"It's one of the benefits," I replied, my voice impassive.

"To tune into her powers?" Shiki inquired.

Hesitantly, I nodded my head, my eyes wary. After all, Kaname is there in the "audience." What will he think? What will he do to me, knowing that I'm not a regular human anymore? What in the blazes will Yuuki think? What about Zero?

…What about Shiki?

Hardly noticing what was happening around me, I didn't notice when all the leaves on the ground began to hover in the air and flutter around like maniacs. I didn't notice the flurry of colourful, bright leaves that autumn grants us, because I was still busy wondering about Shiki.

"Sasaki, what are you doing?" I heard the slight irritation tainting his voice.

I turned to look at him, only to see him getting attacked by the mob of leaves. Blinking, I realized that I had used Amateratu's power subconsciously. Coughing into my fist to hide my embarrassment, I stopped and watched with mild amusement as all the leaves fell on Shiki, burying him in a pile of leaves.

He poked his head up from the pile and stood up, his expression blank. He dusted off any dirt or leaves that stuck onto his white uniform, and he turned and gave me a look that said, "_What the hell did you do that for?"_

"Is there a limited access to how much power you can emit from her?" Shiki asked me. He shook his head slightly, making a few leaves that had stuck to his hair flutter to the ground soundlessly.

"Half," I stated.

He turned and looked at me for a moment before his eyes shifted over to the staff I held in my hand. "Do you need that to use it?" He asked, eyeing the staff warily. I didn't blame him for looking at the staff somewhat strangely. After all, the thing was taller than I was.

My eyes shifted over to the black scepter, and I stared up at it. It was a good two feet taller than I was, and was completely black. There wasn't anything special about it—not really. There were no intricate designs engraved on the metal, and it wasn't like there were gems or anything on it.

At the very top, where the staff ended, it was sharp, like the tip of a sword. Black metal made to look like wings sprouted near the end, and was slightly slanted so that one of the wing's ends reached lower than the other. And then sticking out behind the wings were four large spikes. They made an "X" shape, but you couldn't see the intersection due to the wings blocking it. You saw the four spikes sticking, though, and that was basically it.

A name wasn't imprinted on the metal, there weren't any magic incantations… It just looked like some scary weapon that's used to destroy things by engulfing them in eternal darkness, like how Aidou bathes and drowns himself in the admiration and love from this fan-girls.

"…I have better control," I eventually replied to Shiki's question, making my voice blank. "Without it, I can't manage the powers as efficiently."

Shiki's expression didn't change. "You don't always control your powers consciously." It was a statement again, not a question.

My eyes shifted to the floor. You could hear the reluctance seeping into my tone. "No."

"I see," he murmured more to himself than to me. He walked towards me, and my eyes watched every move. It was almost like an instinct to move back a step when he got too close to me—ever since that day a week ago, I've been keeping my distance. It was weird-I couldn't be near him without feeling slight fear that he would hurt me again.

He stopped and stared at me for a moment, his cerulean eyes boring into mine. His lips twitched downwards for a few seconds into a slight grimace. I blinked at him, not sure what was really going on. What's up with him wanting to get near me? Does he have bipolar or something?

"Why do you look scared?" He inquired. Even though it was a question, curiosity didn't taint his tone, nor did his usual bored expression change.

My voice was flat. "I'm not." Which was _totally_ a lie. Of course I'm scared, you idiot. I'm scared that, once I get close to you again, you're just going to hurt me again. Being in a week of agony is good enough, thank you very much…

He raised an eyebrow at me slightly, like he was asking, "_Really_?" I could see it in his eyes—see that he didn't really believe me when I told him I wasn't scared. But I'm not surprised he'd see through my lie. After all, I've never been the best at lying.

Like before, his strides grew longer, and much quicker, too. I watched him carefully, making sure he didn't try anything funny. My grip on the scepter—which is named Merciless—tightened as he approached, his movements as graceful and smooth as if he was dancing, or perhaps a gazelle in disguise.

He stopped when he was right in front of me, staring down at me with his overpowering gaze.

I struggled to keep my breathing and voice regular and _nonchalant_ to how close he was. I didn't say anything—after all, what could I say? 'Can you please back away from me because you're too gorgeous for my heart to handle' or something?

Even though I'm still pretty clueless about love and relationships and _liking_ someone, I know that under all circumstances, I can _not_ tell Shiki that I like him in that way.

He didn't say anything for a second, just continued to stare at me for a few moments. I didn't really look at him, though. I kept shifting my eyes away from his. It didn't really matter where I looked as long as it was away from his eyes.

Then he did something I didn't expect at all.

His hand reached out and gently, yet firmly, grabbed my chin, causing me to jump slightly. Surprised, my eyes locked with his cerulean ones, and I couldn't help the loud, embarrassing pumping of my heart that seemed to be going haywire.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, blinking my eyes.

He didn't respond for a few moments as he continued to stare into my eyes, and me into his. It was kind of awkward, and yet, I couldn't look away. His gaze captured and held mine. It was like he had me under a spell or something.

After a moment of silence, he replied simply, "Red doesn't suit you."

It didn't really sink in for a second, but when it did, I nearly choked. My heart started beating faster and so much louder it was embarrassing. I could hear the blood rushing through my veins, feel the slight warmth on my cheeks.

"…What's wrong with red eyes?" I questioned him plainly. When I borrow, or use, Amateratsu's powers, my eyes change colour. I don't know why it happens, but it does. Sometimes they turn red, sometimes they turn pure obsidian. I think it's based on how much power I draw out from her, but it's not like I care.

He didn't respond for a moment, but after a while, he shrugged his shoulders casually. "Nothing," he replied blandly. "Your eyes are better lavender. That's it."

Although Shiki said it so dully, so _bored_ like it didn't even matter, I couldn't help but feel my heart hammer in my chest. My face grew warmer, and I knew that I was blushing. It was totally embarrassing, considering they could all hear my heartbeat.

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help but feel that tiny little flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, Shiki might consider me as someone more than a friend. Though it seemed unlikely, I couldn't help but hope that it might come true.

To be honest, happiness washed over me like tsunami waves when he said that. It was a compliment, I suppose, and I couldn't help but feel… Delighted. I mean, wouldn't you? He's telling you that he likes your eyes.

Well, he didn't really say it like that, but nonetheless. It was implied!

"T-Thanks?" It was bad enough that my response was stuttered out… But I had _asked_ it rather than, you know, stating it. It made me sound so much more flustered than I would have liked.

The corner of Shiki's lips twitched up, like he wanted to smirk. And, for a few brief seconds, he allowed a small smirk on his face.

The sight made me go weak at my knees.

He didn't let go of my chin, and, I couldn't help but be pleased that he didn't. I _liked_ how he was looking at me, how he held my chin in his smooth hands firmly, but gently.

All these weird emotions are… Well… _Weird_.

Shiki seemed to realize that this was an… _Interesting_ position, because he dropped his hand from my face and took a step back, his expression back to the usual "bored."

Coughing into my fist once in a very awkward manner, I turned my head towards the Merciless. Slowly, I lifted it off the ground noticing how there was a hole in the floor where I had stabbed the sharp, hooked end. I turned it so that it was lying horizontally, and clenched my fist around it tightly. The scepter shattered, the black debris breaking off before slowly dissolving into small particles, and eventually, nothing.

I tied the ribbon around my neck again, and then turned my head over my shoulder, looking into the woods. My face and voice were both blank as I asked, "So what do you plan to do, Kaname-senpai?"

His expression was the same as always—sad, depressed, with a smile grimace on his lips and a depth of sadness in his crimson eyes. He came out of the shadows calmly, the rest of the Night Class following suite. I saw Yuuki and Zero come out of the shadows, but I could hardly spend time looking at them.

Ruka was snarling at me, standing in front of Kaname protectively. She was clearly pissed off about something. Aidou looked angry, too, but he was being held back by Kain, the calm one. Ichijou just blinked at me, almost like he was confused. Rima was just like Shiki—impassive.

The peach-haired beauty took a menacing step forward, and my hand twitched. I couldn't help the glare that crept onto my face as I looked at her. For the love of god, Kaname might be good-looking and everything, and maybe you're in love with him, but _damn_. She needs to stop following him like a lost puppy or something.

"How _dare_ you—"

"Lay off, Ruka," Shiki cut in. His voice was flat, and it made me wonder why he was helping me.

Her eyes flashed crimson as she looked at Shiki before they returned back to their normal colour. She waved her hand angrily at me and spat out, "Why are you defending someone like her, Shiki?" She growled. "She insulted Kaname-sama!"

My voice came out _really_ flat. Like… _Really_ flat. "You piss me off," I told her simply.

Her eyes flashed crimson again, and she bared her teeth at me, hissing like a livid cat. "_What_?" She growled. "_I_ piss _you_ off? _You're_ the one who pisses _me_ off!" She took another threatening step forward, and I couldn't help but take a step forward as well, as if I was telling her to bring it on.

"I don't obsess over the Pureblooded Prince like you do," I hissed out. "I didn't _do_ anything to him."

"You insulted—"

Kaname's calm, soothing voice interjected, and yet I heard the warning in his tone. "Ruka, its fine."

She whirled around to look at him, no sign of anger on her face. Instead, she plastered a look of pure hurt on her face, like he had just slapped her, and she was completely offended. But her face held a hint of worry in it too—it was probably a look that would make anyone swoon if she wasn't so… So… _Snappy._

"But Kaname-sama," she protested, staring up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

I wanted to kick her face.

His eyes darted down to her, and his lips twitched downwards even more, into a bigger grimace. His voice was still calm with no sign of aggravation in it, though, as he repeated, "Ruka."  
You could practically see the power Kaname radiated. When he said her name, it was almost like she had been hit with some invisible force that made her feel heavier. Her head hung down and she immediately bowed to him respectfully, her hair creating a curtain over her face.

"My deepest apologies, Kaname-sama!"

He didn't respond, but instead, he walked past everyone and took a few steps towards me. I noticed that Shiki had bowed slightly in respect, and I wanted to roll my eyes. Did he _not_ hear what I said about him also being a Pureblood or something? That guy, seriously…

Blood-red eyes met blank lavender ones, and tension hung heavily in the air. His eyes were cautious, guarded, but so were mine. We were careful to not express any emotion as we looked at each other, not wanting to give away our thoughts. It was like we were analyzing each other, making sure that the other person had peaceful intentions or something.

After a few moments with tension so thick it was like a brick, Kaname spoke. "Intriguing."

I stared at him blankly, and then said warily, "I'm not an experiment for you, Kaname-senpai."

A certain emotion flickered in his eyes, but it disappeared before I could make out what it was. "I assure you that I had no intentions of making you anything along the lines of an experiment for me, Sasaki-san," he told me. "I merely find this situation interesting."

"Oh really?" I asked him, not really believing it. I had a feeling something was up his sleeve…

He opened his mouth to say something, but he was quickly interrupted as something flew straight at me from the trees. I side-stepped, narrowly missing what was thrown at me. I turned and looked at what it was and saw that it was a large, thick icicle. It pierced through the bulky, wide trunk of a nearby tree, and I turned and stared at Aidou, who looked slightly confused.

"Aidou-senpai!" Yuuki gasped. Her voice was vague, though, almost like she was really far away.

His eyebrows furrowed together, and his cerulean eyes were clouded with confusion and slight worry. "I didn't do that," he muttered to everyone, confusion tainting his tone.

Before I could even do anything, a blur of white and dark blue flashed a few feet away from me, and I felt something attack me, making me stumble back a few steps. When I regained my balance, I looked at what it was that was latching itself onto me in an embrace, and I tensed.

The new student.

"Riku," she whispered into my ear, her sickeningly sweet breath fanning my face as she looked at me with her dark violet eyes. "I'm happy you didn't die."

I acted on impulse as I instantly grabbed one of her arms, which were latched around my neck. I pried it off me, and in a quick, fluent motion, threw her into a nearby tree. "Don't…" My voice came out more shaky than normal, like I was afraid. "…Don't touch me."

She smirked a smirk laced with sourness, swinging herself onto a thick branch where she settled herself on. She didn't crash into the tree like I wanted her to—stupid vampire… "How can you say that?" She asked me, her voice _not_ sounding the least bit innocent.

I took a few steps away from her, blinking my eyes. Her dark violet eyes might my light lavender ones, and once again, it was like something had just pierced through my eyes and through my heart, like something had just stabbed through me. Her gaze was so powerful, so… _Intense_. I don't know how she did it--maybe it was a vampire power or something—but I knew that, just like the day I first saw her, I would black out.

I staggered back a few steps, unable to break eye contact. I felt my vision getting blurry, and I began to feel lightheaded. And, in a split second, unconsciousness took over me.

* * *

**A / N :**

BAM! And that's the eleventh chapter of Shitsuren! What did you guys think? Was it up to standards? Was it good? Was it disppointing?

How many of you guys were expecting Riku to be a regular human with a legendary witch living inside her? How many of you guys thought it was surprising and unexpected? MAN, you guys have NO idea how anxious I am to know what your thoughts are on this chapter. I hope it was good. I hope that you guys like the fact that she isn't a vampire like other stories, or a hunter.

SPECIAL THANKS TO ... :

**  
****JuJukins, Anonymous, 030artastic, Serena Lockhart, SyiRahzz-, twilightchick13, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, Akuma Hana, KusajishiFuktaicho, DateWithHate, yuzuki0429, Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes, Princesa de la Luna, arisu rin, Fun-sized Friend, Danty, Shaun-The-Sheep, xJaysongx, SeirenTheReader, KurosuX, Haimaru, Priscila Cullen 1410, Mechii, and Chibi Fox-chan**

Also, thank you to everyone who read this chapter, favourited, or story-alerted! ;D I appreciate it very much! x3

Anyways, I honestly hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Please, _please_ tell me what you guys thought about Riku. I know some of the details might be hazy, but trust me, it'll get clearer as the story progresses. So please, tell me what you think of the story so far so I can tell what to do in the future! ;D

So, guysssss. Please drop me a review, mmkay?

I'll see you guys the next time I update! Remember that I love you guys. xD Oh, and...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ;D

Remember to be careful if any of you guys are gonna go trick or treating. xP

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	12. Just Worse and Worse

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters except for Riku ;D**

**A / N :**

Omg. I'm so sorry, you guys. I know that I haven't updated in, like, _forever_, but my teachers just plain suck. There's no other way to describe them except for the fact that they suck. I've just been getting tests and tests and more tests. And lots and lots of homework, too. You can _not_ forget the homework my science teacher puts us through. Seriously. It's like she's the devil in costume waiting to kill us or something.

I sincerely apologize for this chapter coming out so late! I'll try and update faster, I promise! I hope that you guys are still sticking with me! x.x

I'm also apologizing beforehand for my mistakes int his chapter. I'm really sorry if you spot a few thousand mistakes in this chapter. I have a killer headache at the moment, and the fact that I feel like I'm getting stalked by some guy who likes me is _definitely_ not helping. So my brain might not have been compeltely comprehending when I proofread thsi chapter, and I'm sorry. D; Please forgive me.

Also, thank you TONS to everyone who reviewed for me! Love you guys! ;D

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER T_W_E_L_V_E :  
**  
_"Just Worse and Worse."_

* * *

DAY EIGHTEEN.

* * *

Third Person's POV.

Shiki walked through the large doors that led to the Moon Dorms, exhausted. It wasn't that things were too difficult to comprehend with Riku having a witch living inside her—no, it was simply because he hadn't been getting enough sleep lately considering he had always had to wake up during the day and speak with the girl.

Not lifting his head up, he asked in monotone, "What is it, Rima?" He didn't need to look up to see that his golden-haired modeling companion was seated on the top of the stairs, her sapphire eyes watching his every move.

Rima wasn't the least bit surprised he had known she was there without looking up at her. Her face twisted the slightest before returning to the normal bored look, and in a flat voice, she asked, "What is she to you, Shiki?"

Surprised by her question, but not showing it on his face, Shiki looked up and met the impassive face of his close friend. He was confused on why she would ask him something like this out of the blue. His light blue eyes locked with the darker blue orbs of Rima, and for a moment, they didn't say anything.

Eventually, Shiki broke eye-contact with her. He stepped into the large, spacious room of the Moon Dorms and closed the door silently behind him. He stuffed his hands inside his pants' pockets before he responded with a question of his own. "What brought this on?"

She propped an elbow onto her knee, resting her chin in the palm of her smooth, pale hand. She stared at him for a brief moment, analyzing his reaction before she gave a simple explanation. "I'm just curious, Shiki."

He knew that it wasn't the real reason why she was asking him something like this, but he decided not to press. He gave Rima her space, and she gave him his. They told each other almost everything, but they both knew there were things too dark, too deep, to express or tell one another.

And they were fine with that.

Even though he was curious to know what was going on in Rima's head, or the truth behind her question, he decided not to let it bother him that much and shrugged it off of his shoulder. However, he couldn't quite answer Rima's question right away.

What was she to him?

Confusion clouded in Shiki's eyes as he contemplated this. The question rang inside his brain over and over again, echoing in his mind and then resounding and bouncing around.

_What is she to you, Shiki?  
_

_What is she to you?  
_

_What is __she__ to __you__?_

Something went off in his head, and something tugged slightly at his heart, making him even more confused. He couldn't help the slight grimace that came onto his face as he thought about it over and over.

He didn't know why it was so hard to respond.

Rima waited patiently for his answer, her cobalt eyes watching him carefully. Something misted over Shiki's eyes, and her eyes narrowed a slight fraction. Her hand clenched into a loose fist, and she tried not to grind her teeth together slightly as she waited for his response, which she knew, would come in a while.

Absorbed in his thoughts, Shiki began trudging up the stairs to his room, still contemplating the question that Rima asked him.

'_What is she to me? What is that troublesome, poker-faced girl to me? Like hell if I'm supposed to know,'_ he thought grumpily. The lack of sleep was definitely getting to him—it was affecting his attitude and train of thought, making him lash out easier. He got slightly more aggressive on things that he usually wouldn't get all touchy about, and to be honest, it surprised him about what lack of sleep did to him.

He sighed internally, but as he passed by Rima on the stairs, he decided to give her his answer. "A friend," he answered her flatly. He didn't want to put too much more thought into this—he just wanted to answer her so he could go to bed and sleep.

The model with the dark gold hair glanced at her buddy as he passed by her, answering the question after such a long time. She made no move to follow him as he made his way down the hall and towards his room, which was nearby. Her eyes watched his retreating figure, and when she saw him enter his room and close the door, she let out a quiet sigh, closing her eyes.

'_Really, Shiki?' _Her thoughts were just a bare whisper, and subconsciously, her hand curled into a tighter fist.

Wakaba Sayori POV.

I stood behind Yuuki as she knocked hesitantly on Riku's door. She had filled me in on how Riku hadn't been feeling well lately, and knowing Yuuki, she didn't want to disturb her or anything. We waited for a while, but eventually, the door opened to reveal a nonchalant looking Riku.

Her lavender eyes—ones that reminded me so much of Zero's—scanned over us before she blinked. Her flat, monotone voice flowed between us. "…What's wrong?"

Yuuki laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head. She held a hand up in greeting, waving slightly. Riku looked at her blankly, expecting some sort of answer from Yuuki.

"Nothing's wrong," I assured her. Her gaze shifted to me before she blinked again.

"You see, Riku, the Winter Dance is supposed to be today, but it got pushed back a few more days and we still need to go shopping for our dresses. I told you before that we were going to go together, right? Well, I got permission from Chairm—Daddy yesterday, and he said it was fine if we went into town today to go shopping. What do you say? Are you up for it?" Yuuki was rambling again.

I actually find it quite amusing how Yuuki's always so reluctant to call the headmaster her father. It made me wonder why she was so against it. They were, after all, father and daughter, were they not?

Riku didn't seem to understand. Her face twisted slightly in a mixture of surprise and confusion, and her voice didn't have the usual dullness in it as she asked, "…Dress shopping with you guys?"

There was something suspicious about how she seemed so surprised. It was almost as if she didn't expect it at all, although Yuuki had just said that she had gave her the heads-up on it.

Did Yuuki and Riku get into some sort of argument?

No—it wasn't likely. If they did, Yuuki wouldn't have even bothered trying to come here and ask her. The way that Yuuki requested that Riku come with us wasn't reluctant. It was more nervous, like she was scared of being rejected. It was Yuuki's idea to come here in the first place and everything, so it meant that no argument happened between them.

So why did Riku look so reluctant?

Yuuki opened her eyes slightly, like she was befuddled. She nodded her head, her eyebrows furrowing together. "Yeah," she said slowly. "Why? What's wrong? You look kind of… Kinda like you think I'm joking."

Riku's eyes glinted slightly, but it vanished before I could put my finger on it. She stared at Yuuki with a slightly incredulous expression, and asked, "What? _Why_? Yuuki, do you not understand that I—"

Yuuki slapped a hand over Riku's mouth, muffling her. I saw Riku's eyebrows furrow slightly and her eyes widen at Yuuki's expression. Yuuki turned to me, laughing nervously. "Yori, do you mind if I go in to talk to Riku?"

I shook my head and leaned against the wall. "No, its fine," I informed her.

Yuuki smiled at me apologetically before she shoved Riku into her room and slammed the door shut behind the two of them, leaving me alone out in the hall. I heard a few thumps here and there in the room, and it made me wonder what they were doing in there. Their voices weren't heard—they were being careful so I wouldn't hear.

…What could be going on in there?

There had always been something slightly suspicious about Yuuki and Zero. In fact, there were things suspicious about Cross Academy in general. I don't know what they are—maybe I'm just paranoid—but there's a slightly disturbing vibe that comes from the Night Class students. Zero has it as well, and even Yuuki sometimes.

Riku's presence… It's not as if I dislike her. I'm quite intrigued by her, actually. There seems to be so much she hides inside her, so many different emotions and thoughts that she bottles up inside her. There must be a reason for her to be so monotonous and act so anti-social as well as uncaring.

But something about her bothers me.

There's always some sort of aura around her. Of course, there are certain auras around everyone, but hers seems a little darker. A little more sinister. I don't get it the slightest—Riku doesn't seem harmless or anything.

So why?

I jumped slightly when the door opened and Yuuki stumbled out, nearly tripping over her own two feet. I saw the slender, pale arms of Riku extending out her dorm room before it slammed shut.

"Riku doesn't want to come?" I inquired Yuuki.

"Ah—that's not it. She's changing," Yuuki explained, smiling. She looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry about leaving you out here, Yori. There was just something Riku and I had to discuss…"

I shook my head again, offering a small smile. "No, its fine," I assured her. "It doesn't bother me."

…Not _much_, at the very least.

Yuuki smiled at me, and you could visibly see her relax. It made me wonder she would think I would be mad at her for something like that—Yuuki's too nice for her own good. I have a feeling that someday in the future, it'd definitely get her in _some_ sort of trouble.

Nervously, Yuuki fidgeted with the hem of her white miniskirt. She kept dusting nonexistent dirt off of her pale pink cardigan, like it was dirty. I could tell that she was excited, and yet anxious about this dress-shopping thing.

She wanted something that would impress Kaname.

We didn't say anything—it was a comfortable silence. It wasn't long before the door opened, and Riku came out, rubbing one of her eyes. She wore normal clothing like Yuuki and I—we didn't want to go in our uniforms.

Clad in black jean shorts, a thick, large maroon-coloured hoodie with a black shirt inside, Riku blinked at us. The hoodie seemed too big for her—too baggy, and it made me curious as to why she would be wearing something like that, anyway.

Something about Riku seemed different. The usually intimidating aura around her seemed to lessen slightly, like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Perhaps it was just me, but most of the time, it seemed as if she had to carry the weight of the whole world on her. There was just a certain… _Something_ that seemed different about her.

She seemed happier.

"Thank you for waiting," she bowed slightly.

Yuuki beamed at her and helped her fix the hoodie, which was slung over her shoulder. She fixed it so that it was back to the regular position. "You look nice," she commented.

Riku blinked and then said, "Thank you."

"Let's go—we have a long day ahead of us," I informed them, cracking a smile when I saw Riku's face twist slightly, like she didn't like the sound of that.

Yuuki grinned, noticing it too. She placed her arm over Riku and my shoulders, dragging us along with her as she pranced down the hall. "We'll shop 'til we drop!" Yuuki declared cheerfully.

"…I thought we were just getting dresses," Riku grumbled, not sounding very interested. However, when you look at it, she never seemed interested in anything, really.

A slight grimace formed on Yuuki's lips. "That's true," she murmured. "I wonder if we'll have enough time to shop for anything else."

"You take hours to find a dress you'd like, Yuuki," I reminded her in a teasing manner. "Just imagine how long it'd take you to find the 'perfect' dress."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Yuuki whined. "It's not that I take hours to find my dress—it's just that I pick too many ones that I like and can't decide on just _one_."

"I'm sure that you'll find one good enough to impress Kaname-senpai," I said, my voice playful.

Her cheeks flushed a dark crimson as she thought about it. I didn't know what was specifically running through her mind, and to be honest, I don't think I'd want to know. She began to walk faster, practically dragging us down the pathway to the nearby town.

"I-I-It's not like that!" Yuuki spluttered, embarrassed. "K-K-Kaname-senpai won't notice me! I'm a prefect; I have prefect duties to do. I won't have time to s-s-_slow d-dance_ with Kaname-senpai!" Her stuttering got worse when she said "slow dance," so it's safe to assume that she actually has a desire to dance with him.

Riku glanced at Yuuki's blushing face—which looked slightly saddened due to that fact—before her lavender eyes flickered away. "I can handle prefect duties alone," she told Yuuki flatly.

"W-What?" Yuuki asked, surprised. "N-No! I can't do that to Zero and you, Riku! That's unfair. I'm dedicated to being a prefect, and I'll carry through with my responsibilities."

"Yuuki." Riku's voice was emotionless, yet it sounded like a demand.

"Y-Yes?" Yuuki stammered.

The obsidian-haired lady merely shook her head, blinking her eyes. "Never mind," she said plainly.

Yuuki and I looked at her curiously, but we didn't say anything about it. I watched as the scenery began to change as we quickly entered the town. The structures here held an atmosphere of elegance, looking like they had been built a long time ago. The architecture was amazing, to say the least.

People were walking about on the streets, most of them looking very content and at peace. The stores were open, and you could see people shopping for Christmas gifts. Most of the people out were parents that were most likely shopping for their children's presents.

Yuuki looked at me expectantly. "Yori, you know a good, brand-new store that just opened up here, right?"

I nodded my head. "The pricing is very fair as well," I replied.

To be honest, I found it quite silly how some of the Day Class girls would go out and buy a five-hundred dollar dress that they'd only wear once. It was ridiculous spending that much—absurd. Sure, the Night Class males were all very attractive and dazzling, but it made me wonder what the chances were that they'd fall for Day Class students like us. After all, there are plenty of very beautiful Night class girls.

Yuuki grinned and pumped her fist into the air enthusiastically. "Well, lead the way, Yori! I have a good feeling about this store."

Riku merely glared at the floor like she didn't want to be here. In fact, she looked kind of mad that she was here with us. She gave off a vibe that said she would clearly rather be back at Cross Academy doing something else, like talking to Zero, perhaps.

"Why do you look so down, Riku?" I asked. Of course, I didn't want to press her for information, so if she wasn't going to answer, I wouldn't push her for more.

She lifted her head up and turned to look at me, opening her mouth to say something when Yuuki interrupted her.

"Riku doesn't like wearing dresses. She finds it really uncomfortable and everything—she wasn't even going to come with us. I had to persuade her—that's why it took so long," Yuuki mumbled, glancing at Riku, who had returned to staring at the floor.

I nodded my head, understanding her. I'm not too comfortable in dresses myself, but this was one of the few formal activities. And, well, what was the harm?

Weaving our way carefully through the crowds, I led the two of them to the place where the new dress store had opened up. It only took us a few minutes to reach there—it wasn't very far away. We stopped in front of the store, peering and analyzing the dresses that the mannequins wore.

Yuuki's eyes widened in awe as she looked at them. "Yeah—a _very_ good feeling about this store," she murmured, her fingers gently touching the glass plane.

Riku just glowered at the dresses with distaste, like she wanted them to burst into flames in front of her eyes. Of course, Riku is beautiful, but how her face always seems so blank... Or how, when she glares, she seems to look so frightening… It seems to lessen her beauty. If she were to smile, it'd be a no-brainer that she would be much more popular.

"Let's go inside!" Yuuki exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands together before she grabbed our two wrists and towed us behind her. A bell chimed when we entered the store, and a girl around the age of thirteen greeted us.

"Welcome! If there's anything you need, please ask. There's a special thirty percent off on all normal gowns," the blonde-haired girl chirped.

"Thank you," I told her.

"Thank you very much!" Yuuki smiled at her warmly. The girl nodded her head, looked at Riku—who was still glaring at everything, by the way—before she disappeared behind the counter again, like she was doing something on the floor.

Yuuki and I turned our heads this way and that, trying to let all of this sink in. The store was warm; the heater was most likely on. There were racks upon racks of dresses and gowns of different kinds and colours. There were long evening gowns, party dresses, cocktail dresses, prom dresses… They were all here and there, arranged by sizes and colours. The whole store was filled with them, and it made our eyes widen.

…There were even racks with heels!

"Wow," Yuuki murmured in awe as she walked over to a rack and fingered the material of a hot pink dress. "This is… Wow…"

I didn't blame her for being at lost for better adjectives.

She whirled around to face me, her crimson eyes glimmering. "This is… Wow, Yori. I didn't even know a store like this existed!"

A small smile fluttered across my face. "I'm glad you like it, Yuuki."

She nodded her head eagerly. "I can't wait to get started!" She turned and looked at Riku, who was just leaning against the nearest rack of dresses, glowering at everything. She didn't look very happy—not even the least bit impressed with everything.

Yuuki grimaced slightly. "Come on, Riku! Look happier! This store is so big—there are so many different styles and colours. I'm sure you'll find a dress you'll like, or maybe even love!"

"I doubt it," she said flatly. "I dislike dresses in general—you know that, Yuuki."

A pout formed on Yuuki's face as she looked at the raven-haired female. "Just give it a try, Riku! _Please_?" Her eyes widened and she clasped her hands in front of her face, giving Riku her famous puppy-dog look. I saw Riku's glare waver and her lips twitch into a grimace before she tore her eyes away from Yuuki.

"Yuuki."

"_Pretty_ please? With cherries on top?" Yuuki pleaded.

Riku scowled. "Fine," she muttered under her breath, unhappy.

Smiling brightly, Yuuki pumped her fist into the air. "Alright! Time to start dress shopping!" She rolled up the long beige coloured sleeves of the shirt she wore under her cardigan and a look of determination formed on her face. She ran to a rack of dresses and instantly began going through them, looking extremely serious.

Following her lead, but in a less enthusiastic way, I began to look for a dress as well, hoping to find one relatively quick. As much as I'd like hanging out here, I prefer not to stand around for too long.

Riku muttered something under her breath as she passed by me—it sounded like she was having strings of numerous profanities leaving her mouth as she walked to a rack. You could see  
the reluctance—the slight disgust—that her stiff actions gave off as she looked through the dress. She continued to glower at everything.

***

"How is it coming?" Yuuki asked us from the changing stall she was in. We were all in the stalls next to each other, with Riku being in the middle stall so that we would know if she was trying to escape trying on the dresses.

"This is _overly_ unpleasant," came Riku's flat, blunt response.

I slipped on the pale yellow gown, trying to avoid getting my arms through the wrong holes. "…Decent, I suppose," I responded to her.

"Damn it," I heard Riku murmur from the stall beside me.

"What's wrong?" Yuuki asked her. I heard a slightly annoyed grunt from Yuuki as she struggled with her dress. "This is such a pretty dress," she grumbled, "With so many complicated things to do."

Riku cursed again. "This," she muttered sourly, "is why I hate dresses."

Yuuki mumbled something, but it was muffled.

Was I the only one who wasn't having as much trouble?

Sighing quietly, I slipped my head through the hole and looked at myself in the mirror. This dress was one that I immediately liked—it was a pale yellow. There were spaghetti straps that were in a waved shape, and the dress flowed down to my mid-calf. White glitter rimmed the neckline and the edges of the end on the dress. White rhinestones made a small, but noticeable outline of a rose on the side of my left torso. It was snug, and quite comfortable.

"Did you guys finish?" Yuuki called.

"Yes," I replied, a smile curling up on my face as I did a small twirl in front of the full-length mirror.

Yuuki's voice held a smile. "Alright, then. Let's show each other," she said excitedly.

I unlocked the door of the fitting room and stepped outside, leaving the door open. I saw Yuuki come out as well, wearing a pale pink dress. It fit her perfectly, and made her look very cute. Yuuki and I analyzed each other, seeing if the dress fit each other.

After a moment, I nodded my head, smiling. "Perfect," I told her.

"You look great, Yori!" She complimented, ecstatic. "Your dress fits you perfectly!"

"Thank you," I told her sincerely. I was glad she liked it.

Noticing that Riku didn't come out yet, Yuuki turned towards her stall and knocked on the wooden door. "Riku? Come out, we want to see you in your dress!"

"No," came her flat, stubborn reply.

"Please, Riku? We'd like to see and help," I told her, hoping she would come out.

I heard her grumble something under her breath before she opened the door, glowering deadly daggers out of her eyes. I looked at her, as did Yuuki, and in unison, we grinned.

"You look amazing, Riku!" Yuuki exclaimed, hugging her. "It really matches you."

"It's perfect," I nodded my agreement.

She still glowered. "…I hate dresses."

"But you look so pretty!" Yuuki exclaimed. "I can imagine the look on everyone's faces when they see you in this! You're going to be killer at the dance."

She stared at Yuuki blankly. "You have it the wrong way," she stated blandly. She gestured with a hand at Yuuki and me and said, "The 'killers' at the party will be you two."

Yuuki laughed. "N-No… You and Yori—"

"We'll _all_ be 'killers' at the party," I interrupted, not wanting to hear any bickering from those two—after all, even if they _did_ lash out at each other, it was obvious that Riku would win the argument. Despite the monotonous façade she puts on, I'm pretty sure she's great at winning arguments and out-talking people.

Riku looked like she wanted to protest, but she kept quiet.

Yuuki merely smiled and changed the topic. "Let's get changed back into our regular clothing. We still need to shop for heels."

"…Seriously?" Riku asked, almost in a disbelieving way. She stared at Yuuki and I, who gave her curious looks.

"_Heels_?" She repeated, her face turning into another glower.

A small smile etched onto my face. "Don't worry, Riku. You'll get used to them eventually," I assured her, knowing what was wrong.

"I won't," she said stubbornly, her voice bitter and impassive as she walked back into her stall room, closing the door behind her as she began to change.

Yuuki looked at me in an apologetic way. "You know that Riku doesn't mean to be rude, right?"

I nodded my head. "Its fine, Yuuki. I understand Riku's behavior."

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled before she walked over to her stall. She sent me another smile before she walked in.

I followed her lead.

Riku's POV.

After _so_ many hours of shopping, Yuuki decided it was okay to get back to Cross Academy. That girl—I swear… The store was like Hell on earth or something—you didn't see how many… _revealing_ dresses there were, and some were just plain _girly_.

Talk about disgusting.

And don't even get me started on the heels—those… Those… Those… _Things_! I can't believe Yuuki and Yori actually convinced me to buy a pair of those! They killed my feet. I literally got them forced on my feet, and when I tried to walk, I tripped instantly and fell on the floor. How embarrassing is that?

I'll get used to it sooner or later my ass.

Carelessly, I threw the bag with my dress and heels in it on my dorm floor, falling onto my bed. It was around eight—we had grabbed dinner before we came back. Today was a day off from school for both Night and Day Class students, so there were no worries about prefect duties.

Thank god.

I don't even know why I bought a dress—oh, right, they were going to force me to buy it anyways.

But seriously.

Why can't you just go in the school uniform? I mean, it's not like I like the skirt we have to wear, but it's better than wearing a dress. At least when you wear a skirt it doesn't really restrain your legs as much and everything. And besides, I always wear shorts under the skirt, so it doesn't really reveal anything. Not to mention there's a jacket.

For dresses? They're usual sleeveless.

Damn it.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I turned and stared up at the ceiling.

"Sasaki."

I jumped slightly and whirled around to face the window, where I saw Shiki poised on the ledge. He was wearing casual, civilian clothing. A black button-down shirt with baggy navy blue jeans. And as simple as it sounded, he still looked gorgeous.

"What?" I asked him impassively, wondering what he was doing here. It's eight at night for god's sake.

"Chairman's office," he informed me. "Now."

I glared at him, almost like it was _his_ fault that I had to drag my lazy, tired butt over to the headmaster's office. I sighed and pushed myself off the bed, flipping off the lights. I was aware of Shiki watching my every move, but I didn't really care.

He looked at me for a brief second before he jumped off the window. I looked out and saw he was leaning casually against a tree, waiting for me. I wanted to ask him why the hell he's waiting for me, but I bit my tongue.

It's not like I didn't like being around him.

Climbing onto the ledge of the window, I jumped down and landed silently on my two feet. Pulled on the thread that was still hanging out here from the time I snuck out—I never took it off because I could always reuse it.

When the thud of my window closing quietly was heard, I turned to Shiki, who didn't look very surprised or entertained. He merely began walking towards the office, and I followed after him, making sure to keep close.

"Dress shopping?" He asked me casually, breaking the silence between us.

I glared. "Stop stalking me."

Even though it _is_ flattering.

His expression and tone didn't change. "I don't stalk you, Sasaki. I saw the bag on your floor."

Yeah, sure… It makes me wonder why you even look around my room, anyway. What's so amusing about looking around my room? I mean, seriously. He probably knows my room better than _I_ know it, and I'm the one who lives there.

I didn't respond to him about it and just continued walking. It was already quite dark out, being December and all. The night air was cool, and I felt stupid for not changing into something other than shorts. The cold breeze didn't seem so interested in caressing my skin gently, and instead, is biting them off with invisible shark teeth.

It was silent all the way to the headmaster's office, where I knocked on the door and heard Kaien sing us his usual "come in."

Shiki pushed the door open and held it out for me like a gentleman. I shot him a blank look, which he returned. He looked at me as if he wanted to ask, "_What's wrong with wanting to be chivalrous?"_

Well, for one thing, he never opened doors for me before…

Flattering, once again. Made me wonder why he's doing it all of a sudden. Sure, there's like a ninety-nine point nine percent chance that his parents taught him all chivalrous actions and grew him up to be a gentleman, but really? I can't really imagine Shiki coming in and sweeping a girl off her feet so that she wouldn't need to step in a puddle and get her shoes dirty.

Like… Who does _that_ nowadays?

When we walked in, the first thing I noticed was that Kaname and Ichijou were there. I stared at them blankly.

"Ri-chan! I'm so glad that Shiki-kun managed to fetch you! I thought you might not have been back yet, though I told Yuuki not to go out too late! Did you have fun? Did you run into any trouble?" Kaien interrogated me cheerfully.

"…No, there wasn't any trouble," I told him flatly.

Except for humiliating myself and spending a bunch of money on things I won't even wear…

He nodded, smiling. "That's good! I'm so glad!"

"Good evening, Sasaki-san!" Ichijou said cheerfully, smiling at me and waving his hand warmly.

"Good evening," Kaname greeted me politely.

It was kind of awkward, but nonetheless, I returned their greetings. "Good evening, Ichijou-senpai, Kaname-senpai."

Awkward silence fills the air.

My eyes shift between Kaname, Ichijou, Shiki, and Kaien suspiciously.

Something was definitely up.

There was a gut feeling that kept nagging at me, like something bad was going to happen. It wasn't like I thought Kaname would lash out at me and strangle me to death in this very room—not with Kaien here, anyway, but there was definitely something fishy about this.

What was going on?

Coughing into his fist and breaking the silence, Kaien smiled at me. "I'm sure you're wondering why I called you in here, Ri-chan. And, well, the reason is quite simple."

I stared at him blankly, waiting for the reason why I was brought here.

He smiled at me, but I saw it was laced with slight sympathy. "Well, Ri-chan, you're going to have the honor of moving into the Moon Dorms with my adorable little Night class students! Isn't that great?!"

* * *

**A / N :**

OOHHH... Dun dun dunnnn! Cliffhanger! -gasps- Do you guys think I'm just the worst now? xDDD

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! ;D Please continue to stick with me and support me you guys, okay? ;D

SPECIAL THANKS TO... :

**Priscila Cullen 1410, Haimaru, 030artastic, Akuma Hana, twilightchick13, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, yuzuki0429, Anonymous, xXKaminari-TsubasaXx, Serena Lockhart, KurosuX, TheSneakyHobo, JuJukins, Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes, Princess de la Luna, Fourth Remnant, KusajishiFuktaicho, 13Lulu's, and Mechii **

Thank you very much for all your reviews and you support! It was because of you guys that I actually got this chpater up today. If it weren't for you guys, I probably wouldn't have updated until Winter Break or so! So thank you very much, you guys keep me going and I love you guys for that! ;D

Thank you to all those you story-alerted and favourited as well! ;D

Btw, to all of those fans of the _Twilight Saga_ by Stephenie Meyer, isn't **New Moon** going to be out soon? go crazy, guys. LOL. 'Cause I know I will ;D

Seeyah guys next time, alright? Remember to continue reading and waiting for my updates! I appreciate it so much!

Please drop meh a review so I know how many cookies I needa bake, 'kay? s2

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	13. The Voice Inside

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or Vampire Knight Guilty.**

**A / N :**

Holy shoot, you guys! I haven't updated over a month! I've never taken so long to update before, and you guys have no idea just how bad I feel about this. I had never believed that, when I started writing this Vampire Knight fanfiction, that it the start of school would have such a big toll on the updates. I knew that my progress would hinder behind once the new school year started, but by this much?

I'm disgusted with myself. I'll beat myself up about it later; I promise you guys. Just to give me a little lesson on disappointing my fabulous readers.

I don't know. It's just so hard, you know? School life is never easy; especially high school. Especially for girls, I guess. Not that I'm saying that boys don't have a hard time, because I'm sure they do. But girls just seem so much more... Catty, you know? It's like they bare their long, sharp claws at you even slightly; and we PMS, too. Talk to me about PMSing... Phew. I' lucky to have even survived until now. Trust me, my friends have crazy tempers. It's scary.

Love is a stressful thing. I hate the situations when your friend really likes this guy, and then you find out that he likes you, but you don't like him back. I mean, then you're just getting your friend pissed at me and ripping both their hearts out right in front of them, right? It's so hard. You don't know what to do, because you don't want to be a mean, cruel *****. But, like one of my best friends told me, you can either be a friend, or a good friend.

And the bath of being a good friend, of course, if the one that is more painful to everyone.

Life is just kinda going downhill for me right now, I guess. I have two friends that are disliking me at the moment, one friend that I, myself, am pissed at because of personal reasons, another friend going through a rough patch in her love life and asking me for advice on what to do, and another friend that is questioning my loyalty to her. She thinks that I've just been telling her what she wants to hear, but, really, I'm telling her the truth. And she's calling me a liar because of that.

Well, I'm sorry for trying to make you happy.

Anyways, I'm really sorry for this rant. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still standing strong and firm about continuing this story until it's complete, though updates might take longer. I'm really, really, really sorry about this update. It's been so long, no words can express how sorry I am for prolonging this chapter. I just hope that it's good enough for your standards and that my skills haven't faded.

Thanks a bunch to everyone who had reviewed and alerted last chapter, you guys have no idea how much I freaking appreciate it. Just a single review can always brighten up my day; remember that I love you guys to death. ;D

I won't give up! Fighting~!

Now, please continue to read, my dear readers. Read on... Read on.

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

A Vampire Knight Fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"____

**CHAPTER T_H_I_R_T_E_E_N :**

_"The Voice Inside."_

* * *

DAY NINETEEN.

* * *

I was vaguely aware of the bang as the Chairman's office door slammed against the wall, the hinges practically screaming as someone stomped inside the office.

"_What_?" I seethed in unison with Zero. He slammed his hands down on the table, his lavender eyes narrowed into a glare as his silver hair was just like a messy haystack. The wind probably got to his hair worse than it got to mine.

Kaien beamed at us, but there was a nervous edge to it. "Ri-chan gets to move in with my adorable Night Class students," he repeated.

"_No_," I replied instantly, glaring at him with as much hatred and anger I could muster. There was no way that this crazy old man is going to get even a single hair from the top of my head into the Moon Dorms for over an hour, let alone for the rest of my life here at Cross Academy.

"W-Why not?" Kaien stuttered, flinching under the intensity of the glowers that Zero and I were shooting his way.

"Why would you want me in the _Moon Dorms_?" I growled at him, my blank facade completely fading as I looked at the Headmaster. "Are you trying to get yourself killed, Kaien? I _will_ strangle you."

"N-Now, now," Kaien laughed nervously, his lips trembling and his eyes watering, a look of fright on his face. Kaien, for sure, was one of the best actors I knew. "No threats, please, Ri-chan..."

Zero's face twisted in disgust. "What is the reason behind this?"

Glancing at Zero from the corner of my eye, I couldn't help but notice how his handsome face still looked so... Beautiful, despite how angry he was. Of course, everyone knew that Zero was attractive. You would have to be blind not to see it, but many people steer clear of him because of his intimidating aura, or the usual emotionless scowl that's on his face twenty-four-seven.

He didn't look happy—not that he ever looked happy, really, but this time even more so—and the dark waves seemed to just flow off of him. His eyes darted around the room, narrowing slightly as they landed on Kaname for a few moments before switching to Ichijou, Shiki, Kaien, and finally, _finally_, catching my gaze.

It was weird, staring at Zero. It's not like we never stared at each other before, because we have. But this time seemed different. I don't know why—maybe it was because we both had the same feelings right now, or maybe it was just because.

Just because.

Almost like we both knew it was the right time to stop looking at each other, we both turned our gazes back to Kaien in unison.

"What _is_ the reason?" I echoed Zero's question, speaking through my clenched teeth.

Kaname's calm, soothing deep voice spoke for Kaien. When we all shifted our gazes to him, he slowly pushed himself up from the chair in a graceful motion, straightening out his white Night Class uniform with his long, big pale hand. "The reason behind your abrupt move to the Moon Dormitories is because of the safety of the other students."

"Safety of the other students?" I repeated incredulously. "What do you think I'm going to do? Blast their heads off in the middle of the night just because you think I'd feel like doing it? I'm not a mass murderer on the loose. I don't need to put into somewhere like the Moon Dormitories. I don't need to be _trapped in another prison_."

Everyone stared at me with a funny weird look, ones that said, "What do you mean?" But I completely ignored them. I haven't even told Zero, though I plan to. Yuuki, on the other hand...

"The Moon Dormitories, I assure you, are more welcoming than a prison," Kaname replied smoothly.

"To me, it's worse," I snapped at him angrily. I hated him. I loathed this pure-blooded vampire with such an intensity I swear I could cook an egg. I hated him enough to want to stab him in the eye in front of everyone that worshipped him and let them rip me to shreds just for the heck of hurting him.

His dark, crimson red eyes that reminded me so much of Yuuki's... I hated it. I hated the dead look they had in them. The unreadable emotions that lingered in them that nobody could seem to unscramble because he's just too complicated. I hated how he seemed like some evil, sinister jackass that would do anything to get his hands on what amuses him most. I completely _loath_ how he just rules over everyone like they're nothing more than his pawns used for battle; ones that he can just throw away whenever they got too useless in his eyes.

Most of all, I hated how he hurts Zero like it was daily entertainment.

He fixed his eyes on me and, in a voice that had no hint of offense, replied, "I'm genuinely sorry you feel that way about the Moon Dorms, Sasaki-san, but I'm afraid that it can't be helped. If you would prefer, we could try and make things to your taste to help your comfort while you are in our company."

Damn him and his stupid politeness. What did he think this was? Some sort of business deal?

"I'm sure that you'll like it at the Moon Dorms," Ichijou piped in, his smile sweet and warm. His blonde hair shone almost as brightly as his emerald eyes, which just twinkled like always. He gave me this really cute reassuring look, trying to break the ice.

I wanted to snort, but then realized it would really embarrass me in front of Shiki and Zero, and the rest of them, so I settled with a loud disbelieving scoff. "As if," I hissed. "There is no way—_no way in hell_—that I can like the Moon Dorms as long as I'm in a fifty-meter radius of that filthy excuse for a living being."

"Ri-chan, please refrain from using such foul insults," Kaien warned.

My head felt like it was going to explode. My ears were practically shooting out steam, I swear, and the top of my head was probably smoking. "I can't help it!" I yelled angrily, slamming a hand so hard onto Kaien's desk that I heard it crack. My hand started to sting like hell, making me regret what I had done. However, because I didn't want to chuck away my dignity, I pressed my lips firmly together into a thin line so I wouldn't let out a cry of pain.

When I was absolutely positive I wouldn't whimper when I opened my mouth, I said as calmly as I could muster, "It's not possible to not insult her when you speak of her. She's an insult to the... To the... To the whatever race she belongs to! She goes around looking all innocent and all that and yet her mind is as pure as black." My lips pulled over my teeth into a snarl as I thought about her—her dark violet eyes, her midnight blue hair that was almost black, her disgustingly sweet scent...

A shudder of anger, possibly mixed with fear, flew down my spine just at the thought of her.

Ichijou, apparently aware of just how badly I hated her, couldn't help but ask a question that nearly made me blow my head off from fury. His voice was cautious as he inquired, "Sasaki-san... If it isn't too personal, why do you hate Akui-san so much?"

I didn't know what had taken over me, but the room seemed to have dropped in temperature. A thin layer of frost fell over everything in the room, making things much cooler than it was just a second ago. Laser beams were about to spill out of my eyes as I bared my teeth at Ichijou like a lion ready to go in for the kill.

"Why do you _think_ I hate that _thing_?" I asked him, not expecting an answer. "Do you _not_ see that threatening smile she gives everyone? That ridiculously dark aura that surrounds her everywhere she goes? She seems to suck the happy out of everyone! _Akui_. _Akui_, Ichijou! She's just like what her name means; _malice_. She's a threat to everyone. She's a threat to everything that stands in her way. She'd rip your head off in two seconds flat if she thought of you as something that would be a burden to her in the future.

"You don't _know_ her. None of you do. I don't even know how she got registered into the school," I shot a withering glare at Kaien before turning back to Ichijou. "She's some made-up artificial doll that just happened to rise up from Hell and roam the earth because, clearly, she's not something that's pleasant."

"Ri-chan," Kaien said sternly, once again reminding me to keep my insults to myself.

I rolled my eyes, making sure that he didn't see it. There would be hell to pay if he did. I'd bet anything that he'd start bawling his eyes out and asking me how I turned out to be such a big young lady with such a rebellious attitude.

Clearing his throat slightly, Shiki spoke for the first time ever since we entered the room. "Sasaki, I suggest that you tone your anger down a few notches." He inclined his head calmly to the icicles that had slowly begun forming on the ceiling, slowly becoming larger as the room continued to drop in temperature.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to stick the rude finger at him and tell him to go jump in a hole. However, I clenched my hands together tightly, trying hard not to tremble. I merely snapped, "You try to control your emotions on demand!"

"Sasaki." His piercing blue eyes met mine, and I heard the slight edge to his voice.

I glared at him, but tried to keep my anger in check. It was a difficult task to do—I don't remember the last time I've felt such a large amount of hatred and dislike for something. It's hard to keep something like this in. Something that I knew would happen eventually, but had kept all my thoughts, all my emotions, to myself.

Kaname spoke this time, gesturing with his hands to the white frost and the icicles. He didn't seem affected by the cold at all; I think that nobody took notice of it. I, on normal occasions, would definitely be shivering like crazy, but I was so flared up by my anger that I didn't feel the biting cold sensations.

"Sasaki," he began as his red-burgundy eyes swept around the room for a fleeting second. "This is the reason why we would like you to join us in the Moon Dormitories." Seeing my mouth open for protest, he held up a hand and said politely, "Please do not interrupt and allow me to continue."

Despite how hard I tried to calm myself, the fact that he just acted like some high superior just pissed me off even more. I felt my anger just spike to its peak again.

Continuing on with his speech, which to me, seemed just like some pointless jibber-jabber, Kaname said, "You admitted the day before yesterday, in that oak tree clearing, that you cannot control your powers a hundred percent. It's quite obvious that your emotions can conquer over Matsuzaki-san's source of magical power without you knowing. This can cause great dangers. If you were to have a nightmare, there is a chance that you can set off something in the Sun Dorms and harm the Day Class students that reside there.

"However," he continued on, "If you were to move into the Moon Dormitories, accidents like that would have a low chance of causing too much harm to students. The students that sleep and call the Moon Dorms home are much more unbreakable than humans. After all, human beings are fragile, weak things." His eyes flashed slightly.

"Like I said earlier," I spat through gritted teeth, "I do not attempt to blow up everyone's head when I'm asleep."

"And how would you know?" Kaname retorted almost instantly after I finished my sentence. "How would you be aware of what is happening around you if you are asleep?"

My lips pulled into a sneer. "I've never done it before. What makes you think that I'll start whacking people with flying moles because I'm having nightmares?"

"It's outrageous to even think that you can transfer her safely into the Moon Dorms," Zero added blankly. "The chances of setting off something while she's asleep is low. On the other hand, sending her into a room full of bloodthirsty parasites—" he bristled, "—is an insane decision. The risks of them sucking her dry is..." He trailed off, folding his arms across his broad chest.

"She will be well protected by myself," Kaname added, a very noticeable edge in his voice as he turned to stare at Zero fully. Kaname shifted slightly, squaring his shoulders in a hardly noticeable motion and standing his full height, almost like he was trying to size Zero up.

Zero's sceptical scowl said everything.

"Do you expect me to think you can _protect me_—" I sneered the word, "—when, the day before yesterday, she had flung herself at me with an attempt to scratch my eyes out and you didn't do anything about that?"

Kaname regarded me calmly. "It did not look like something threatening," he replied. "However, now that I know precisely how her gaze can knock you out, I will make sure that you will not be near her."

My face contorted. "I told you I don't want to be within even a fifty meter radius."

"Your room will be placed near my own. I assure you that Ichijou and Shiki's room will also be close."

To be honest, I felt a little bit more assured if Shiki, Ichijou, and Kaname were all going to be close to me at almost all times, but it didn't mean that I wanted to leave the safe sanctuary of the Sun Dorms.

I opened my mouth to protest even further, but Kaien interrupted. "I don't want any more arguing about this matter." He had that stern, serious expression on his face again like he did when he felt like things had gone too far. He turned his amber eyes on me, and I saw the sadness and regret that were swirling around in his topaz eyes.

"You're going to be going to the Moon Dormitories," he replied firmly. Though, I heard the twinge of sympathy laced behind his words. "There is no more room for argument. I apologize for this, Riku, but please place your trust in Kaname-kun like I do. I would like for you to go pack; Shiki-kun or Ichijou-kun can give you a tour when you arrive."

Suddenly, by looking in Kaien's eyes, I realized something that I didn't realize before.

Ever since the beginning, I had no choice. It was not a request—it had never been. It was a command. An order. He did not suggest it. He did not ask me if I would prefer it. He had told me. He had stated it. From the second the words left his mouth, I already had no choice. The outcome would be the same no matter how much I tried to turn it around.

Furiously, I stomped my foot like a four-year-old. "Ugh! I can't believe this!" I growled. I started for the door, my hands clenched tightly into fists. As I opened the door and was about to just slam it hard enough to break it, just to prove how angry I was, Kaname's voice stopped me.

"Sasaki-san."

I turned around just in time to catch something that he threw at me. My palm stung from how hard it came in impact. It made me wonder if Kaname had been trying to knock me out by hitting my head. It surely didn't seem like he threw his hard on a daily basis. I opened my palm and saw that it was a shiny silver key attached to a key ring. There was a silver plate that was added in the key ring, the number "nine" imprinted on the metal. My lips curled into another snarl, and after shooting another glare, I stalked off.

I began to pack my things the minute I got back to my dorm room, slamming the door shut. I pulled my suitcase from out under my bed and opened it, ripping my school uniforms off the hangers in the closet and stuffing them messily into the suitcase, not caring if they got wrinkled. My hands were clenched into fists around the fabric and I stopped packing for a moment, running over everything in my head.

This is stupid.

It's outrageous.

Ludicrous.

What the hell is Kaien thinking, setting me off into the Moon Dorms? What is running through that buffoon's crazy head when he decided to do this? And to not consent with me before? I don't even want to start thinking about Akui.

I let out a scream of aggravation and I turned to the bedside table, kicking it furiously before I winced and began to hold my big toe, which stung.

"Destroying your room won't do anything," Zero's soothing, irritated voice flowed through my room, and I whipped my head around to see him leaning against the wall beside the window. I stared at him for a moment and then turned towards the door, which was closed.

When did he come in?

We had all been arguing about the whole thing a lot longer than I thought. It was already ten, the sky dark and the moon out. The light illuminated Zero's gorgeous face, and he ran a hand through his hair, a scowl plastered on his face again.

"I can't believe it," I fumed. "How can he do that to me? I hate that nonexistent piece of—"

"I do, too," Zero cut in, his eyes narrowing as he stared out the window.

It was silent between us as I continued to pack my things, including my pajamas and all my other clothes. I had to take out my other suitcase, because the first one was getting full. Especially with all my textbooks and notebooks and etc.

Eventually, my sigh broke the silence between us. "Look, Zero..." When he looked at me, I continued hesitantly, "Thanks. For sticking up for me back there. It means a lot to know that you'd prefer me not to be with them."

Zero didn't say anything; just a scoff.

"I'm going to miss this room," I mumbled quietly, my eyes casting over the bed and the closet. Lavender eyes swept over the ceiling and the wooden floor, across the wide window that let me escape from my stressful, sleepless nights to just go and take a walk without getting in trouble.

A grunt came from Zero.

My lips pressed into a thin line as I stuffed the rest of my clothes in. I saw Zero looking at my packing with a look that said he clearly thinks I could do a much better job. However, he didn't say anything as he watched me pack everything. It was almost like we were just savouring this last moment in this room, the last memory that I will have of this room is just Zero and me in silence, enjoying each other's company.

Yes.

The memory that will be made in this room last is just... Just Zero and I. Just him and me. The two of us alone; not talking, not making sounds... Just basking in the peacefulness of each other's company. The content feeling of being around each other's presence.

The last shirt hit the suitcase and I slammed it shut, making sure it was clamped tightly. It was bulging outwards, telling me that I should've probably tried and actually made an effort to save as much room as possible by packing neatly instead of slamming everything in there like a tornado had just done it.

I was about to haul both suitcases there by myself, but imagine my surprise when Zero effortlessly lifted one of the suitcases off the bed and took the other one as well. I didn't protest, knowing that Zero would just glare at me and tell me to shut up.

We walked through Cross Academy's campus together in the night. Neither one of us really spoke, just absorbed in our own thoughts. I was wondering just what Yuuki would say if she were to find out that I got kicked out of the Sun Dorms. She would probably start freaking out and interrogating Kaien about it.

My thoughts then just expanded to the love triangle between Zero, Yuuki, and Kaname. I don't know why, but the more I thought about it, the more anger bubbled inside me. I wasn't sure why. Was it because this was all hurting Zero? Because Yuuki was going to hurt someone's heart so bad it won't become fixable? Was it because that, even though I loathed him completely, maybe Kaname didn't deserve to get his heart ripped out of his chest and stomped on?

...And yet a voice hit me.

_Aren't you a little too protective of Zero?_

My eyes widened slightly. _Was I_? I didn't know. I mean, obviously Zero and I were close. We knew each other since we were little. He was always like an older brother to me; a best friend that was always there when I needed him to be. He had my back, I had his. It was just the way it worked. He would pick me up when I fell, and I would pick him up if he ever fell down.

Though, I must admit, I fell down more than he did.

_What if it's more than that?_ The voice whispered.

More than sibling love? What were the chances of that happening? That was completely outrageous. Impossible, really. I loved Zero. I did. As a brother. As an older brother that I never had.

_Denial is never a pretty thing, sweetheart._

But I'm not in denial...

I was snapped out of trance when we reached the large, dark chocolate brown double doors that led inside. Zero set down my suitcases, and the two us just stood on the doorstep, staring at each other. He stared at me with his usual scowl, and I just merely ogled at his beauty.

In secret, of course.

Slowly, I tiptoed and then ruffled his head full of soft white hair and then gave him a tight hug, burying my face in his chest. I felt him tense and go rigid.

"Get off me," he grumbled grumpily.

"I'll miss you too," I told him, pretending that he had said it first. I let him go and offered a smile. "Thanks a lot, Zero. I really will miss being able to break into your dorm room."

He stared at me. "You broke into my—"

"'Night," I told him, taking in a deep breath and pushing open the doors to the Moon Dorms, making sure to grab my suitcases and lug them in. I was met with the grand common room, as I call it. There were two couches in the center of the room, facing each other with a coffee table between them. They were settled on a beige, rectangular rug, and a small vase of flowers perched happily on the surface of the table. On either side of the room, a large staircase curved towards the center, the railings on both staircases black with intricate patterns. The floor was made out of shining marble.

Almost in a second, Shiki appeared at the top of the stairs. He stared down at me with his arms crossed. "Lock the door," he replied plainly, and after I did as I was told, he gestured for to follow him and disappeared.

Scowling at him in annoyance—what happened to his chivalry?—I tried my best to drag my suitcases up the flight of stairs without falling off and breaking my neck. It wasn't too hard, considering being a prefect was much harder than having to do this, but it still took me a while. I was a lot smaller than Zero—when I lifted the suitcases, they were barely two inches off the ground.

However, I made it up and stalked off in the direction I saw Shiki go in. When I rounded the corner, I saw him at the end of the wall. "Hurry up," he told me blankly.

A few moments afterwards, we stopped at a door that was painted a pure-white. He gestured to it and told me what I knew he was going to say. "This will be your room." He pointed to the large, black double doors at the end of the hall and replied, "Kaname-sama's room is there." Continuing, he gestured to a single door that was just very, very faint blue. "Ichijou and my room."

I nodded stiffly and used the key and unlocked my new home.

Joy.

As reluctant as I am to come and live here, I have to admit that I _was_ happy with my room. It was much bigger than the rooms in the Sun Dorms. Three of the walls were painted a lavender that was almost exactly like Zero's eyes, the last one being accented and white. The floor was hardwood except for the furry white rug that the bed was placed on. The bed, twin sized, I'm assuming, matched the walls being lavender and white, a canopy over top. There was a large window facing out into the fountain, and a desk was pushed into a corner. There was a dresser as well as a closet. And my own bathroom.

"Thanks," I mumbled to Shiki, avoiding his gaze as I stepped inside and dragged my suitcases in. I stood in the middle of the vast room, just looking at things. I made no move to unpack.

Noticing this, Shiki looked at me and asked, "Are you going to begin unpacking your things?"

"No."

"You're not going to get out of here, Sasaki."

"I know."

Shiki's breathtaking cerulean eyes narrowed at me. "Why are you intending to make things more difficult for you than they already are?"

Instead of answering his question, I walked over to my new, neatly made bed and sat down. It sunk a bit lower with my weight. I grabbed the pillow and slammed my face into it, letting out the loudest scream I could, only to have it muffled.

Closing my eyes, my head still stuffed into the soft pillow, I pressed my lips into a thin line, repeating the same line in my head.

I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial.

_It seems like you are._

I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial.

_Who are you trying to convince, pumpkin? You or me?_

I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial.

_Trying to force yourself to think you're not in denial just makes it seem more like you are, in fact, in denial._

I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial. I'm not in denial.

_You're in denial._

I'M NOT IN DENIAL!

...Right?

My eyes closed tightly, almost in a painful way, and I thrust the pillow aside. I jumped off my bed, trying to clear my head. I grabbed Shiki's wrist as I walked out of my room; he had been standing at the doorway looking at me like I was a freak. I slammed my dorm room shut and dragged the maroon-haired model down the stairs back to the common room, down the stairs. I forced him to sit down, putting myself opposite of him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Say something," I ordered him impassively. "I don't care what. Talk. Just _talk_."

"The Winter Dance." It came out so plain. So uncaring.

"What about it?" I asked him curiously, wondering what he was going to say next. It made me wonder if he was going to ask me to go with him. My heart sped up at the thought, hope flickering inside my chest and rising.

His eyes flickered with something for a split second before it disappeared. He shrugged his shoulders lazily. "It's the day after tomorrow."

My index finger twitched in impatience. "I'm aware of that."

"...Are you going?" He asked hesitantly.

This is it!

This is _it_!

This is going to be _the_ moment when he asks me to go with him.

"I have to. And by that, I mean I literally _have_ to. Even if I were to squirm out of my Prefect duties for the night, Yuuki will force me. She _will_ use sleeping gas if necessary." No joke. That girl is so ecstatic to go—and dance with _Kaname-senpai_—that she would not let _anything_ ruin it. And, apparently, if I don't show up, it's going to ruin her whole night.

Dude, like... What about _my_ happiness?

Shiki opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment, the double doors clicked open, signalling that the Night Class was back from their lessons. Kaname, as usual, was in the front with his depressed, lonely expression. He nodded at us before proceeding up the stairway, the rest of them following his lead. I didn't care about the rest of the vampires that filed it—I was just looking for the glimpse of _her_.

That foul, evil, mind-twisting devil that I hated with every fibre of my being.

It wasn't long until I saw her face in the crowd. Her sickeningly sweet smile was there, her hair perfect without a hair out of its place and her eyes gleaming with fake happiness. The moment I saw her sadistic eyes shift towards me, I jumped out of my seat and sneered at her before heading up back to my dorm room as fast as I could.

Vaguely, I heard Aidou asked, in a completely clueless voice, "What's _her_ problem?"

When I retreated to the safety of my room, I slammed the door shut and locked it, leaning against it with the back of my head pressed against the cool wood. I let out a shaky sigh, closing my eyes. Slowly, I slid down the door, until I dropped onto it completely. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs and burying my head in there, like it was the best line of protection I had.

And I did something that I haven't done in a long, long time.

I cried.

Why? Why?

...Why did she have to be here?

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**A / N :**

Oooooh, is there going to be a new twist?

-GASPS-

Is there going to be a new love triangle instead of the usual ZeroxYuukixKaname one? Will this one be a... ZeroxRikuxShiki one?! OMFG. Intense, right?

Speaking of a love triangle, I was wondering how many of you guys would actually _prefer_ it to be a ZeroxRikuxShiki one instead of just a plain ShikixRiku. I mean, if you throw hot, rebelliously hot Zero into the mix, things are bound to become more... Exciting, eh? I want you guys to offer your suggestions in your reviews, or perhaps PM me? :3 I would appreciate it greatly if you guys could do that for me.

This is chapter thirteen, and I hope you liked it. I, once again, apologize for updating so late. I'm really, really sorry you guys. D;

SPECIAL THANKS TO... :

**JuJukins, yuzuki0429, 13Lulu's, Akuma Hana, Fourth Remnant, Anonymous, Princesa de la Luna, 030artastic, KurosuX, xXBloodyxHimeXx, Mechii, Haimaru, Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes, basil795, Serena Lockhart, Falling., ThankfulMemories, and CxJoy.**

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR FABULOUS REVIEWS~! And thank you very much to those you story-alerted and favourited.

Okay, I can't help myself, but this is going to be very, VERY long response to _13Lulu's._

OMFG! YOU THINK SO TOO? I mean, like, there's nothing wrong with the plot and everything, and Stephenie Meyer's writing is definitely something I enjoy to read, but her characters seem to be so perfect, right? I mean, like, Edward is described as the most perfect thing ever. Seriously. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect personality that can just charm everyone and make all girls a pile of goop.

And don't you get me started on Bella.

She's like... VERY Mary-Sueish. I think that the only wrong with her is that she's clumsy. And it's very well plotted, because every single time she falls just seems to be another excuse for Edward to hold her. Like, how would you know she isn't just pretending to trip? Considering her undying love for Edward, I wouldn't be surprised that she does so just to get close with the sparkling vampire. Speaking of sparkling vampires, HOW CAN YOU NOT BE CREEPED OUT? Like for god's sake, he's _sparkling_! It's not as scary as burning into a pile of goop, but how _regular and normal_ is it for a vampire to freaking _sparkle_ in the sunlight like they're made of diamonds?

Talk about freakish.

I have to admit, I liked Edward a lot at first. I thought he was great, but as I continued to read, I noticed just how unhumanly perfect he is. And sure, he's not human, but even for vampire standards he seems over the top. And, personally, Bella just pissed me off from the very beginning. Not that I'm dissing the oh-so-famous _Twilight Saga_ written by Stephenie Meyers, of course. My friends would hang me if I ever did something like that.

I completely agree with you when you say that Jacob is the least Mary-Sueish from the rest of the lot. Or Leah, I guess. I dunno. I have to admit that, though I side with vampires, the werewolves seem more realistic in the real world. The anger management that Jacob needs definitely adds to his flaws, and the fact that he _does_ make some pretty stupid mistakes and etc. And he's not all mighty and everything like Edward, who just seems to be able to rule over everything when it comes to combat. Leah seems somewhat normal, too, because of her sour attitude. It makes her just seem like some emo person who hates the world, if you know what I mean.

And Seth? Omg, he's just the cutest. He's a sweetheart. I completely love him. :3 He's probably my favourite character from the entire series, despite his lack of appearances. He's like a sweetiepie. I love him to death. I think my heart actually skipped a beat every time I read about him saying something. LOL. Talk about pathetic, eh?

However, despite almost everyone seeming like some perfect freaks in the book, I liked it. I don't hate it. I don't love it. I like it. It's a good series, in my opinion. My friends are having this clash of _Harry Potter_ by J. K Rowling versus _The Twilight Saga_ by Stephenie Meyers. Out of curiosity, which side would you stand behind? ;D

OKIE DOKES, THAT INCLUDES MY RANT.

Anyways, like I was saying before I started that insane, mass-typing I just did, I wanted to thank you all _so_ much on supporting me behind this story. I sincerely apologize for my late updates nowdays and would like you to forgive me.

I hope that you guys will review for me about this story and give me your input and thoughts, as well as ideas, on the whole love triangle thing. I need some advice to help me point on which pairing would make this story a tad more exciting, if you catch my drift. -grins-

Unfortunately, I failed to get this up before Christmas. I was hoping to give you this chapter as a Christmas present, and I failed. I apologize. A ton. However, I got this up and I am somewhat pleased myself, really. xD

Please review for me and show your support!

Merry BELATED Christmas, you guys! I love you all, and I hope you all had a _fabulous_, heartwarming Christmas and Christmas Eve full of laughter and joy. Hopefully, awesome memories were made with your friends and or family. ;D

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	14. My Feelings, Her, And Me

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or Vampire Knight Guilty.**

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A / N :

Hey, you guys. I'm really sorry about the super late update. I haven't updated in, like, what? A few

_months? _My last update was on December 26th, right? Boxing Day? XDD Yeah, well, I'm really sorry that I took so long to update. Lots of things ran through my head and lots of things have been going on lately in life. It's hard, high school, but I guess you just need to learn how to deal with it, eh?

There isn't much to say, really. All I gotta say is that arguments with close friends always suck, and that, sometimes, when you meet a friend, you think that they're great in the very beginning and you don't have a problem with them. But as time goes on, you may see some flaws that you've never seen before and they would see flaws about _you_ that they didn't see before, and, oh gosh, that's never pretty.

I know I've said it a ton of times, but a big _thank you_ to everyone to reviewed. I swear, the only reason I actually got this chapter up was because of all the reviews I got. If I hadn't gotten the amount of reviews and alerts that I did, I probably wouldn't have updated until late April or so, when things would've (hopefully) calmed down. But, anyways, thanks a bunch to everyone out there who reviewed! Love you guys ;D

Shitsuren has reached over _TWO HUNDRED_ reviews! I can't believe my eyes, you guys made this happen. I couldn't be any happier, honestly. It means a lot to me.

The person who sent in the two hundredth review was xoxoNAOMI4EVAxoxo, so thank you a bunch! ;D

Time to present to you the long awaited fourteenth chapter...

**

* * *

**

**Shitsuren.**

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A Vampire Knight fanfiction.

____"Broken Heart"___  
_  
**CHAPTER F_O_U_R_T_E_E_N :  
**  
_"My Feelings, Her, And Me."_

* * *

DAY TWENTY - NIGHT TWENTY.

* * *

"_Why_," I spat through gritted teeth, "Do I have to stay with the Night Class for tonight?"

Kaien beamed at me. "Isn't this a fabulous idea, Ri-chan? You get to spend extra time with my adorable little Night Class students~!"

_Great_? It was the complete and utter opposite of the word "great." It was more like a living hell, really. There was _no way_ this was just by coincidence. The pedophile is out to get me, I swear he is. Him and his creepy little chess game using real people.

Me? A _pawn_? For _Kuran_?

HAH!

My face twisted into a merciless glower as I stared at Kaien, wanting to break his desk for the third time in the past two days. Did he not know how much I hated him right now? How much I hated anything to do with _her_?

Seeing my face, his smile faltered slightly, but was kept up with some effort. He reached out and patted my shoulder in a childish way that didn't reassure me in the least, grinning the whole time. "No need to worry, Ri-chan, no need to worry. Zero-kun will be with you the whole time! You guys will have the greatest time together! Ahh, quality bonding time!" He pretended to swoon.

Zero's scowl deepened, his lavender eyes hardening slightly. His pale hands clenched together tightly as he stared at the Chairman. "I'm not going to spend my night taking care of your students."

Kaien waved Zero's comment off with a flick of his hand. "They don't need _taking care of_!" He protested, sounding aghast that we'd even think something like that. "I just want you two to be there in case things get a little out of hand. Usually Kaname-kun or Ichi-kun is there to keep them behaved, but since they're both gone..."

Anger flared up inside me again. I've been feeling the burning flames of fury a lot the past week. It's almost like it's permanently boiling inside the pit of my stomach nowadays. I hated the feeling of wanting to do something, but having to hold yourself back.

If only I didn't need to hold myself back right now...

...Kaien's face wouldn't even be recognizable.

"Why can't _you_ do it?" I seethed. "_You're_ the Chairman. The Headmaster. And it's not like you're going to be in bed getting your beauty sleep, either."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "Ooooh, but Ri-chan," he pouted. "You and Zero-kun are much scarier than I am."

My lips twitched in irritation, my hands trembling with the urge to just reach out and strangle Kaien across his taped up desk. This was beyond anything I'd ever dreamt about—nightmares, I mean. There's no way in hell that I'd _ever_ dream about the Night Class students dancing in a field of flowers while the sun's out shining. Even if it _did_ start like that, it'd always shift into a nightmare at the end, anyways. I mean, seriously.

Sunlight and vampires?

They'll be screaming for help the minute the light touches them. They'll be melting like candle wax, turning all gooey and stuff onto the floor.

"You think they'll listen to _us_?" I asked him as I gestured to Zero and I, my face flushed with anger. "You _know_ I don't want to be near that filthy little scum and you're still making me stay there? In the same room as her? When she can, like everyone has seen before, _knock me unconscious_? Are you trying to hand me my death?"

"Now, now," Kaien puffed out his cheeks, staring at me with wide, innocent eyes. "Don't say things like that, Ri-chan! You know that I love you." He made a kissing noise as he smacked his lips together as a sign of affection.

It disgusted me.

"However, don't think so lowly of my Night Class students!" Kaien chided. "They're all very well-behaved, and nobody will hurt you, Ri-chan. I'm sure that Akui-chan is going to be glad to see you spending time with her and the other classmates as well."

The corners of my lips pulled up into a sadistic smile. "So why don't I just switch spots with Yuuki, Chairman? Is there something wrong with Yuuki being left in the Night Class with Zero? I mean, after all, with Kuran's interest in her and his protectiveness, surely nobody would even dare lay a finger on her."

It was in that instant that Kaien's smile got blasted off his fake facade of happiness. His eyebrows furrowed together, his eyes hardening into topaz orbs. His lips crumbled from the smile and was replaced with a grimace, his lips in a tight, thin line. He stared at me, his expression grim and serious, like I had just told him off.

We stared at each other in the eyes, amethyst meeting topaz. It was like there wasn't anything important in the world besides the two of us trying to stare each other down. I could practically feel the atmosphere around us stiffen, the air tensing like they were prepared to go to war with each other. For a moment, I wanted lasers to burst out of my eyes and blind Kaien.

Kaien broke the silence, though his voice had a sharp edge to it. "You aren't as fragile as Yuuki, Riku. Even though Zero will be there, I believe that you have a higher chance of coming out unscathed than she is."

It was like my heart contracted. It was half like a compliment, half not. "So, basically, you're telling me that you think I'm not fragile? That you think I can handle being with someone as horrible as her, get knocked out ten hundred million times, and still be _fine_? Haven't you noticed that I've been traumatized? Do you think that I'm still that little girl you saw years ago—the one that everyone thought would grow up to be a happy, bubbly girl with no problems?

"Did you think, even for a second, that I was like this because I _wanted_ to be? And you're going to send me in there, thinking that I haven't got my unfair share in life, just because you think that Yuuki's too delicate to be in the same room as Aidou, Shiki, Rima, and the others? So, if that's the reason, why is she a prefect?

"You value her life over my life. Is it because Kuran threatened you not to put Yuuki in danger? Because of something that was left in Yuuki's parents' wills? Or is it because I seem less human to you because some freaking witch is living inside me? You put Yuuki's life before mine because she's more important, isn't she?" I bared my teeth, my lips curling over into a snarl.  
"Because, what, she's your daughter?

Closing his eyes, Kaien took a deep breath. When he let it out, he opened his eyes to reveal anger-filled topaz ones, burning with an unseen fire before. He stared at me long and hard, almost like he wanted to make sure I meant everything I said.

When he opened his mouth to say something, I quickly interrupted him. "You know what?" I sneered. "Forget it. I don't need to stand here and listen to you—_you_, Kaien, someone I trusted with my freaking life—telling me how, compared to Yuuki's life, mine is less significant." And I didn't hesitate as I spun around on my heels, storming out the door. I slammed it shut behind me, not even caring when I heard a loud crashing sound as the hinges broke off and the door fell onto the floor.

I had just broken down the headmaster's door.

So why didn't I feel scared? Why didn't I feel guilty?

Because he had it coming for him. Kaien knew my immense dislike for the evil stinkin' ass that he let into the school without even _asking_ me about her. Didn't she seem malicious when he met her? Like, _god_, I know she's beautiful and crap, but they always say not to judge a book by its cover. Maybe he thought the little scumbag was an angel sent down from heaven.

I snorted as I stormed out of the building, pushing through the crowds of whispering Day Class students. They moved out of my way as I came out of the building, obviously sensing my deadly aura. I didn't blame them for casting scared glances my way. I swear that I could kill someone right now.

As I walked past the students clearing their way for me, I could definitely hear their whispering.

_"Did you hear? Sasaki's been moved into the Moon Dorms."_

__

"Ugh. Ever since she's come here, she's been taking Shiki-kun away from us."

"Do you think that they're dating? Her and Ichijou-san?"

"Why do you think that she's so angry? Sasaki-san's always had that calm aura about her... I mean, she's never had an expression besides 'boredom' before..."

"I heard that she's been getting into a lot of fights with the Headmaster and Kaname-san lately. A friend's friend's friend said he heard them shouting about something."

I wanted to lash out at anyone talking about me. I wanted to bare my claws like a lion and just _pounce_ on everyone and anyone whispering around, whispering about me like I was deaf and blind—like I wasn't there.

It would be so easy. So, so easy...

Normal humans are just _so_ fragile...

It would just be so easy. So easy to just take out my anger at them and leave unscathed.

But I wasn't her.

I wouldn't stoop down to her level. I wouldn't stoop lower than low. I refuse to even _think_ about joining her antics, it was incredulous. I was not a murderer. I was _not_ her. I never will be. I would never, ever...

I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts of my head. Rubbing my temples, I stopped where I was, shutting my eyes tightly. Horrible thoughts. Horrible, horrible thoughts...  
Loud gasps from everyone made my eyes snap open. They sounded as if they had just won a hundred million dollars.

Cerulean eyes met amethyst ones.

He was walking towards me, hands stuffed casually inside his pockets. I watched him approach, not moving, not making any sign of wanting to talk to him. I just stared as he stopped in front of me, his maroon hair glinting in the light as he just stared at me impassively.

Was he out in the _sunlight_?

_Shiki_?

He tilted his head back slightly, his face bored. He waited until I nodded in understanding before he turned around and began leading me towards somewhere more private—the oak tree clearing where so many things took place, where so many things have happened in just a few short _days_.

Girls swooned as he walked by them, but he didn't seem to notice as he broke off the stone pathway and began heading into one of the small forest-like patches that were scattered across the campus. He pushed away some branches and jumped over some logs, and he didn't say anything to me, didn't look at me.

I had no idea what he was doing here, but I wanted to know. Just being around him made me feel calmer, more in control of myself. I liked it. He was like an escape from everything, the person that made all the anger and frustration and, to be blunt, the urge to kill, melt. He made all those feelings disappear.

When he reached the oak tree's thick, rough trunk, he turned around and faced me, leaning against it. I stood in front of him, staring blankly at his expression, which just seemed like a reflection of my own.

"What is it, Shiki?" I asked him eventually, breaking the staring contest between the two of us.

He took a moment to respond, but when he did, I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach because his voice was just too musical. Too perfect. "It's stupid to get into the fight with the headmaster. He's furious."

My lips wanted to twitch into a snarl, but I forced it into a thin line. I bit on the inside of my cheek until I was sure I wouldn't swear Kaien out. My voice was forcefully blank as I asked, "What makes you think I care?"

Call me a bitch, but right now, I just didn't care.

Shiki quirked an eyebrow at me, almost as if he was questioning my sanity. "We don't bite, Sasaki. I'm sure you know that."

"_She_ bites," I replied instantaneously. "That little bi—"

Shiki cleared his throat.

I shot him a glare. Even if I _did_ like him, it didn't change the fact that my hatred for that little _freak of nature_ was much stronger than my crush on Shiki. Continuing with my sentence, I said, "_It_ bites and bares razor teeth the moment I'm in the room. On the contrary to what others may think, I'm not ready to die yet. I have things I want to do before I die."

He sighed, sounding patient and yet, at the same time, impatient. "Nothing will happen to you, Sasaki. You should know that by now."

My nose wrinkled as I stared at him disbelievingly. "Haven't you witnessed how Aidou tried to kill me once?" I asked, forcing myself to sound calm and impassive, even though what I _really_ wanted to do was just sneer at him and bite his head off.

"That was because you seemed as though you could have been a great threat to Kaname-sama. Aidou-senpai thought that it was the right thing to do, especially since you didn't smell human nor vampire. You were unusual." Shiki stared at me calmly and coolly, his baby-blue eyes not giving anything away.

"So being different means I'm immediately something you guys need to check up on?" My voice was bitter. "What Kaien is expecting me to do is something that I simply can't. Nobody knows the whole story, Shiki. Not even Kaien. It's something that's hard to deal with. Having her here is already pushing it past my limits, and the headmaster is almost telling me to just simply get over it and move on. But he doesn't know that it's not that easy."

"You shouldn't always judge so easily," Shiki observed, his hand reaching up and gently rearranging his Night Class uniform tie before he folded his arms across his chest. His light, light blue eyes stared at me, waiting, waiting for something.

"Nobody here has been through what I've been through," I replied darkly. "Of course, Zero has been through tough times, too, and probably even Yuuki. But there's always a difference between their story and mine. Maybe nobody's noticed yet, but my past hasn't exactly been rainbows and sunshine, with puffy clouds in the bright blue sky. It's not even a murky, slimy palace with bats flying around and crap. It's dark. It's gruesome. It's freaking life shaking."

Shiki stared at me for a moment, and when he spoke, it surprised me. His voice lacked his usual indifference, and instead, was replaced by an icy edge to it. "You're not the only one, Sasaki. Not everyone is different from you. Everyone has their own troubles and problems to live with, but unlike you, we've learned to _deal with it_."

My lavender eyes narrowed as I stared at Shiki's calm form, anger bubbling inside the pit of my stomach. I knew that I was going to erupt like a volcano soon, and boy, it wasn't a pretty thing. "I'm sorry that I can't deal with my problems, then. I'm sorry that I'm not like everyone else, that I'm a freak. I'm sorry that I can't get over the fact that she _ruined_ my _life_."

Shiki stared at me for a moment, silence flowing between us as his eyes searched mine. I couldn't help the fluttery feeling in my stomach or the way my heart just stuttered slightly in my ribcage. Eventually, he spoke again. "Do you honestly hate her that much?"

"She tried to kill me," I responded flatly, like that was all he needed in order to be on my side instead of hers.

"She's a vampire," he pointed out blandly.

"Is that your excuse for her?" I asked him, my voice coming out impassive even though my eyes were screaming the word "Incredulous!"

He blinked at me, saying each word slowly. "It's not an excuse, Sasaki."

My eyes fell from his, and I stared down at the floor for a moment before I lifted them again to meet his once again. "_You're_ a vampire," I reminded him quietly. "Are you telling me that, despite being friends, you're going to try and kill me? That every second that I spend with you, in your company, is just another second that has the probability of you killing me? And when you _do_ try and lash out at me and I get out alive, your excuse will be, 'It's because I'm a vampire' and think that it's all I'm going to need?"

"No," he replied. "Sasaki, Akui-san is new. She's not used to the thirst for blood, and I suppose yours makes her snap more easily than others do."

I pursed my lips bitterly. "So now you're excuse is that my blood is more tantalizing for her? Are you kidding with me, Shiki? My blood has nothing to do with this. She wants me to die, I don't know how you and everyone else is missing the point. She wants me _dead_ and you're thinking of my blood? Nice, Shiki, _nice_."

This time, his sigh oozed with frustration. He ran a pale hand through his untameable maroon hair. "You don't understand, Sasaki."

"No, _you_ don't understand," I retorted, my eyes narrowing at him. "_Nobody_ understands. You don't understand, Zero doesn't understand, Kaien doesn't understand, and it's not like anyone else will understand if you guys don't. And that's what pisses me off, because you three are the ones who are _supposed_ to understand, to _get_ it—to get _me_. But none of you seem to do, and it's irritating because you're all on _her_ side even though she tried to kill me more than once. It's like to everyone, my life is less significant. It's like what _I_ want doesn't matter."

"You know that that isn't true," Shiki protested quietly, his usually monotone voice tainted with just a small, almost non-existent dose of softness, like he actually cared.

A laugh escaped my lips, though it was bitter and sour and humourless. There was nothing funny about what he said, nothing that made me want to actually laugh a genuine laugh. It hurt, his words, because it all seemed like lies. "No, no, I don't. I _don't_ know that it isn't true because that's what it always seems like. They say actions speak louder than words, and every course of action that Kaien has taken so far hasn't screamed about his concern for me. What he has done has not shown me he cares about my safety, that he thinks that my life is equal compared to Yuuki's."

"Maybe it's because you're just missing everything that he _is_ doing because you're so insistent on looking at all the flaws in his plans, so determined to look at everything on the pessimistic side. You're letting all the negative sides of what he's done overshadow all the good things—_great _things—that the Headmaster has done for you," he responded flatly.

"I don't see a single thing that Kaien has done for me that a regular person couldn't have, Shiki. I thought of him as a father, someone that I could trust and lean on when things get rough. I thought that he was one of the very few people that would pick me up when I fell down, to give me strength when I needed it, but he threw it all back in my face and now I know that I was wrong when I thought he was someone that I could put on first place. He showed me that he isn't one of those people, and I've learned the hard way that the only person that I can rely on, the only person that I can lean on in the world, is me."

"Perhaps you didn't hear me when I told you that everything you're saying—everything you've already said—so far, is far from the truth and isn't like how you make it out to be," Shiki responded, a frown tugging at his lips. His hands clenched into tighter fists as he looked at me, his eyes carefully blank and void of any emotion.

In a way, I was desperate. I was desperate for someone to tell me that I was wrong about having nobody to lean on besides me, because if that was the case, I would break. I couldn't pick myself up off the floor after I fell down, I just couldn't. I couldn't give myself strength when I didn't have any strength left. I couldn't lean on myself because I _am_ myself—what is there to lean on that I wasn't already leaning on?

"Then tell me," I closed my eyes. "Tell me the truth about everything, about everything that Kaien ever did for me that actually told me he cared. Tell me about how everyone cares me about me, how they care if something happens to me."

"I care."

My heart almost stopped.

His voice was slightly surprised as he repeated, "I care about you."

For a moment, happiness swelled at my chest and I wondered if this was what it felt like to feel _loved_ by someone—not that I thought he loved me, but whatever—but then came the invisible hand that clenched my heart in its fist, the uncontrollable pain that came with those words.

_"I care about you, Riku. I care about you more than I care about my own life."_

_"I care so much about you, it almost hurts me. Do you know why? It's because I love you."_

The pain that I tried so hard to control for four years came back all at once, exploding from the lowest bit of my stomach and rising up to my chest, making it harder to breathe. It was like a ten ton brick was placed onto my chest, and my lungs felt like ice was slowing beginning to freeze them. It felt like I was getting suffocated, coldness and unbearable pain sweeping me off my feet and knocking the breath out of my lungs.

Every single beat of my heart seemed to hurt.

"Don't," I half-whispered.

There was something in his eyes. "Not everyone lies when they tell you they care, Sasaki. You need to understand that not everything that someone says is sugar-coated words, or empty words with nothing lying underneath the surface. Not everything is like that. You need to realize that there are people out there who mean it when they tell you they care about you—the Headmaster, Kiryuu, Yuuki-san..."

"I thought I told you 'don't'," I gritted out through my clenched teeth, trying desperately to pull back all my thoughts, trying unsuccessfully to block out the pain that almost made me double over.

Shiki's cerulean eyes flashed clearly, but with what emotion, I wasn't sure. His voice was plain. "You needed to hear it."

"I don't," I repeated, not wanting to believe in petty lies that everyone always tries to feed me. "I don't want to hear it, Shiki, I don't want to have to listen to these kinds of things." I shut my eyes tightly and whirled around on my heel, preparing to walk away from him, from everything. I wanted an escape from reality.

I had barely gotten four steps away from him before I felt his large hand enclose around my wrist and pull me back. He whirled me around to face him, but I couldn't see his face because I was practically slammed into his chest.

It was brief, it only lasted two seconds or so, but it was what it was. He let go of my wrist and wrapped his arms loosely, very loosely, around me in what I think was supposed to be a reassuring hug or embrace. His voice was quiet and emotionless, but I heard the underlying sincerity.

"I _do_ care."

He let go and he stared at me for a moment before the corners of his lips twitched up, his whole face practically lightening as he offered the smallest of smiles. And that was all he did before he took three steps away from me and walked away, just like that.

He walked away, but his head tilted back slightly, like he wanted to look back, but in the end, he didn't.

* * *

_Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock._

The sound of the clock was amazingly loud in the dead silent room, the only sounds that filled the air was the sound of breathing and occasional flipping sounds as pages in books were being turned. Mostly, though, the air was full of tension and wariness. Oh, and you can't forget disgust. Disgust and anger. Those two emotions hung in the air around us all thickly, making the air seem heavier.

I continued staring out the large windows that faced the small clearing of thick trees right outside. It was dark, around two in the morning, and I've already spotted three different groups of Day Class students trying to sneak a look at the Night Class in the past hour.

A figure emerged out of the darkness and shadows of the trees, revealing Kaien. He looked up at the window, his eyes catching mine for a second before I tore my eyes away from his and jumped off the large window seat, ignoring the looks I got from the Night Class students as I made my way over to where Zero was leaning against the wall.

"What?" He asked rudely.

"Nothing," I responded blandly, leaning against the wall so that I was beside him.

His lavender eyes flashed down to look at me for a moment before they flickered back up to what he had been staring at before. I knew that he wasn't convinced with my answer, but he was always the kind of guy to not press and just leave it the way it was until _you_ felt like you wanted to talk.

Stifling a sigh, I followed his gaze, my eyes resting on the person—_thing_—that he was staring hard at, and my lips pressed into a thin line. She was leaning against the opposite side of the wall, her midnight blue hair practically black and her dark violet eyes gleaming as she stared back at him, like they were having a staring contest.

I couldn't stand to look at her for more than five seconds, so I soon dropped my gaze from her figure, my lavender eyes travelling over to where Shiki and Rima sat together. They weren't saying anything, they weren't looking at each other, but it was like they were having a conversation. They were facing opposite directions completely, but it seemed like they were looking at each other. They weren't touching, but it was like they were holding hands. They weren't saying anything, but it was like the understood.

My heart quenched again in my chest, another spasm of pain hitting me hard and making me wonder what was with me and my heart. It was ironic, because I've always been told that love was one of the greatest things that could happen to someone, but nobody has ever told me of all the pain that would come with it. Was it a package deal—both pain and happiness together in a fancy parcel labelled as "love"?

A soft sigh left my lips, and I let my eyes drop down onto the floor. It was silent again, and it made me ponder how different it would be if Ichijou or Kuran was here. Ichijou was so nice and kind—he was optimistic and he was so cheerful. Would this dead, silent, gloomy atmosphere do a one-eighty degree turn? Would there be lots of noise going on, a lot of laughter?

Aidou was sitting there, hands behind his head as he stared straight at me, his gaze burning holes in the side of my head. I could feel Ruka's glower on the side of my face as well, but I chose to ignore them. Akatsuki was just quietly reading from his side beside Aidou, one of the few people who weren't currently glaring at either Zero or me.

Zero nudged me so suddenly that I almost jumped. My head snapped up to him and I asked him, "What?" In the same rude fashion like he had done earlier.

He scowled at me and then jerked his head at Shiki, who had turned his gaze from out the window to me. He rested his chin in the palm of his hand and blinked his cerulean eyes at me, gesturing with his other hand that I should go towards him.

I looked at Zero, who was pointedly ignoring my gaze. I let out an internal sigh, knowing that I would have to explain to Zero sooner or later some things about Shiki and I. It was obvious that he wasn't very approving of vampires associating with me, which was ironic, considering he was a vampire was well.

Making sure that my face was blank, I approached one of the long tables where Shiki and Rima were occupying. Rima turned her head to face me as I stood in front of their table.

"Sit," Shiki gestured to the space next to him.

"No thanks," I responded blandly. "What is it?"

He held out a box of strawberry Pocky, the shiny silver bag inside ripped open already. He tilted the box slightly and the cookie end of the Pocky stick slipped outside.

I took it.

He quirked an eyebrow when I didn't eat it.

Shaking my head slightly, I let out a sigh and offered the Pocky back to him, not wanting to eat it at this particular moment. Was the only reason he called me over here to offer me Pocky that I didn't want?

Shiki and I stared at each other for a long, long time. It seemed like an eternity.

I looked away from his gaze, and I stuck the Pocky stick into his slightly open mouth because I knew he wanted to be fed.

She had me by the throat in the next second. She slammed me into the nearby wall so fast, so hard that the wall dented slightly into the shape of my body. Her violet eyes gleamed as she looked at me, her hand cold and merciless and tight around my throat. She reeked of too much perfume, the scent making me want to gag.

Everything had happened to fast, I didn't even see her coming at me until I was how I was now.

Her nails dug painfully into my neck.

I glowered at her, hating her with every fibre of my being. "What do you _want_ from me?" I spat at her loathingly, wanting to get this over and done with. I was so sick of having to run away from her, to have to pretend that her existence didn't bother me when she was in the room when it obviously _did_.

The next second, I saw the gleam of Zero's Bloody Rose aimed straight at her temple and Shiki was standing beside the two of us, Rima and Akatsuki flanking him. Aidou and Ruka were hovering around, looking puzzled and shocked.

"Let go," Zero's voice was tight.

Her grip didn't loosen, and her smile was sickeningly sweet. "What do you mean?" She asked me with a sugar-coated voice. Her eyes were full of hate and malice, and I saw it. The desire to kill.

"I'm tired of this. I'm tired of seeing you face, and every single time, having to hold back the urge to kill you," I growled.

Her smile was sadistic. "You wouldn't."

"_Let go,"_ Shiki repeated Zero's words from earlier, his usual monotone voice taking an edge of sharpness that I've never heard before.

"I wouldn't?" I repeated, incredulous. My gaze was furious as I looked dead straight into her eyes. "I would. I would kill you. I would kill you in the slowest, most painful way that's ever possible, and I'll be enjoying every single moment. I'll be ecstatic. I'll be smiling and laughing every time I hear you scream, and every time you shriek for mercy and for me to stop the torture, I won't. I'll kill you, and I'll make sure that you'll never show your face ever again."

Zero's grip tightened against his Bloody Rose, and the air got cooler. I didn't look, didn't tear my eyes away from her, but I knew that Aidou was the one making things seem so much colder in the room.

The next words literally made my heart stop for a moment. "You wouldn't kill your baby sister, would you?" Her grip loosened around my neck and she stared at my malice, hate-filled eyes with an innocent look, and the room was silent, all eyes on us at what had just been exposed.

I took my chance. I didn't care that she was my younger sister. I kicked her in the stomach without mercy and, without even thinking about it, slammed my fist down onto the side of her face, an atrocious smile curling onto my face when she fell to the floor.

Something cracked.

Shaking my fist out slightly, I glowered at her and walked out of the room, just like how he walked away without saying a word, without looking back. I ignored the stares, ignored the pain in my hand. I ignored the way the smile wouldn't leave my face.

Unlike Shiki, I wasn't tempted to look back.

* * *

**  
A / N : **

Okay, so that's the end of the fourteenth chapter. I dropped the bomb that Akui is Riku's younger sister, but I'm honestly wondering how many of you guys are actually surprised with that fact. I mean, I _did_ drop hints that they were related, but I don't know if they were obvious hints or not. Did this come as a big shocker to you, Akui and Riku being related? Did it make you guys gasp in surprise, or were you guys just unsurprised with this? I'm honestly interested~! ;D

This brings me to the question of the chapter...

**_Were you surprised that Akui and Riku were related / younger sister and older sister? Why or why not?_**

I'd honestly appreciate it if you guys would answer that question! I think that the answers that you guys provide me will help me with my writing skills, so please include the answer in your reviews!

SUPER SPECIAL THANKS TO... :

**Princesa de la Luna, Fourth Remnant, 030artastic, KusajishiFuktaicho, Pri-Chan 1410, Akuma and Tenshi Hana, xXYuseiXAkikoXx, Anonymous, JuJukins, 13Lulu's, Dreamersheart21, pearlyn, colette-anton, Haimaru, Sayonara Yasashii Akumu, xoxoNAOMI4EVAxoxo, kaitou angel, Lumy-san, OMFG, CxJoy, Shaun-The-Sheep, NinjaSheik, ThankfulMemories, azmaria kuze, vrykolakas Princess, twindarkstar.05, Peachie-Trishie, DarkFlame Alchemist, XxDark-maiden201xX, and whatever-chan **

Honestly, thank you so, _so_ much for reviewing for me, and I loved all your reviews, by the way! ;D Thank you very much to everyone who story alerted and or favourited -grins-

I really hopes that you guys liked this chapter, and I'm going to drop a hint for you right now as a warning or heads up. The chapter after the next one _will_ be the Winter Dance, so keep waitin' for that. I'm actually really excited to write that chapter, because I think that it'll be a lot of fun -grins- So, if you want to get to that chapter--it might be split into two separate chapters, by the way--then please review for me! I know that a lot of you guys reviewed for me for chapter thirteen and the chapter still came late, but I promise you that I'll try my best to update faster.

Did I mention that chapter thirteen, out of all the chapters so far, has gotten the most reviews by a mile?

Don't forget that I'm not giving up on the story, so please continue supporting me and reading this story!

C'mon, you guys, review for me~! ;D Please?

Thank you, once again, to everyone out there who actually takes their time of day to read the chapter and read my pointless author's notes. x__x Habit to ramble, ya know.

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong- :3


	15. At 3 AM in the Morning

**Disclaimer : No, I do NOT own Vampire Knight or any of the characters in it. Or Vampire Knight Guilty. Sadly.**

**A/N :**

HELLO! (:

OKAY. OKAY. Before you guys come at me with pitchforks, I have to tell you guys that I truly, _truly_, am sorry about this super late update. It's been almost a year, hasn't it? God, looking at the last time I updated makes me want to cringe. But school's been a pain in the ass, and I know that "homework" and all that shit isn't really that great of an excuse. And, really, I don't _have_ an "excuse" [ if you want to call it that ] except for one.

Writer's block.

I'm sure that a lot of you guys know what I'm talking about. The kind of writer's block where you know what comes next, and you need to build up to it, and you have a vague idea of how to do it, but once you sit there and open up the document, you just can't write. Your mind blanks out, your hands can't fly across the keyboard, the words _just don't come_. And that's what happened to me. I tried forcing the words out, tried to _make_ the chapter, but it just... It didn't seem right, you know? I can't tell you how many times I wrote the chapter or a scene, then cut it out, then rewrote it, then cut it out again, or just plain deleted the entire thing. It's been forever, I know, but I finally managed to finish this _without_ having to _force_ myself to open up the document.

Your reviews had a lot to do that that. (:

Thank you, you guys, really. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I _cannot_ thank you guys enough, nor can I be sorry enough to have you guys wait so long. Nothing I say can really make up for the time you guys waited for this chapter, so I'll let you guys read it. But please keep in mind that I really _am_ sorry.

OH. WAIT. BEFORE YOU READ. THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I know that some of you have been wondering if I'm abandoning this story. And, I'm not going to blame you-it probably looked like I was. I mean, not even a single update for almost an entire year? But I want to make this clear. **I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS STORY.** I'm not going to lie to you guys or promise all of you that I'll update frequently, because, let's face it; I won't. I'll try, and I'll try as hard as I can, but sometimes it just doesn't work that way. And it might take me _forever_ to update, but I'll get this story done. Eventually. So, just to make that clear, I'll repeat myself one more time. _I AM NOT GOING TO LEAVE THIS IN-COMPLETE._

Okay. -sighs in relief- Now that we got _that_ over with, please read on, my sweethearts, please read on.

* * *

**Shitsuren.  
**  
**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER F_I_F_T_E_E_N :**

_"At 3 AM in the Morning..."_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-ONE.

* * *

My hand still ached.

I almost laughed at the situation I was in, although there was nothing funny about it. Who would've thought?

Her.

Me.

_Them_.

It's like a battle of wills. A battle of pride and dignity and redeeming ourselves. It made me wonder—who would win? Us or them?

_Stupid_.

There was no way I was going to lose to her. A worthless thing that shouldn't even exist on this earth. There was no way—_no way_—I was going to be defeated by her. Ever. I would win, and I would win with all the glory, with my dignity intact, with my pride still under my belt. I would not lose.

I would not lose in this war.

I wondered, briefly, what would've happened if I hadn't come to Cross Academy. What would've happened if I never saw Zero again or Yuuki—if I had never spoken with Kaien again, never met Shiki? This whole thing, with my existence on these grounds, wasn't planned.

Honestly, I was never supposed to see Zero's eyes again, so much like my own. I was never supposed to hear Yuuki's friendly, cheerful voice. I was not supposed to see Kaien's warm face another time. I was never supposed to meet Shiki.

So how did I?

The smile that curled onto my face was twisted with bitterness, and I clenched my throbbing hand tighter into a white fist. The answer was so simple, and yet so amazingly difficult for me to comprehend, even after all this time.

How long has it been? Two years? Three?

Shaking my head, I stopped trying to lie to myself. _Five_.

And how many left?

My eyes shut.

My feet slowed and eventually halted. I stood in front of a fountain, the water spurting from a hole within the top of a cement arrow, which was attached to a bow and an angel. Was it _supposed_ to be an angel? I wasn't sure. It was too dark to make anything out—it had to be at least three in the morning at this time.

Unable to hold it in, I let out a loud sigh as I sat on the cement that surrounded the statue and kept the water inside. It was cold from the night, but I could hardly even feel it. Coldness was nothing new to me. In a way, I almost welcomed it. Warmth was unfamiliar. Foreign, almost.

There were so many things I didn't want to think about, but it all just kept whirling around in my brain. I couldn't stop thinking about them.

My heart clenched in my chest, and I swallowed loudly to keep myself under control. I was calm. I was in control. I could make it through this, I definitely could. I'd become victor. I'd triumph. I'd crush her under my shoe and kill her slowly, mercilessly, and when she cried out for mercy I'd—

"You have this look on your face."

My eyes snapped to the side.

His head tilted. "I don't like it."

Ignoring the rapid beating of my heart, I turned my head away. No need for him to see the flash of hurt that I was desperately trying to wipe off my face at the moment, right? But it's not like it mattered. Of course not. Who _cared_ if Shiki didn't like the look that had been on my face?

I almost snorted out loud. Who was I kidding? If I didn't care, I wouldn't be trying like a mad-woman to reconstruct my facial expression into something more presentable.

There were tons of things sitting on the tip of my tongue, but the only thing that I managed to slip through my teeth were there the words that formed a cliché question. "What're you doing here?"

"I was looking for you."

"No, _really_?" I asked sarcastically, turning to look at him with my poker face. He had the same look, the same eyes. Bored. Uncaring. Emotionless. I almost smiled at it—why did he feel so familiar now? When did I become so attuned to his presence?

He shrugged, his hands still stuffed into his Night Class uniform. He didn't say anything else as he approached me and took a seat close. My hand reached for the helm of my shirt, but I stopped myself. I didn't _fidget_. It wasn't me. So instead, I clenched my hand tighter and retracted it to my side.

Neither of us said anything for a moment, I wasn't sure if there was anything to be said. We just sat there, side by side, staring up at the dark blanket that had fallen upon a sleeping sky. A few twinkles of stars penetrated the onyx, and the moon was a glowing sideways grin. Small breezes blew by, making the cold night seem more dangerous, more biting.

I stole a glance at him, refusing to acknowledge that just by doing so, my heart picked up its pace in its marathon. He was unbelievable, his pale skin looking even paler from the moonlight. His dark, thick waves of maroon hair seemed lighter, and his eyes shone as it reflected the white rays that flashed from the brilliant teeth of the small grin up in the sky.

His eyes caught mine, and I didn't look away. Some people's instincts told them to look away at being caught, but mine told me to refrain from looking away. To me, it showed weakness. It was a sign that you were uncomfortable.

"...I think," he started slowly, "that you broke her nose."

I couldn't help it. I smirked, some smugness crossing my features. "Good." I looked away, back up towards the sky. I could still feel the burn of his stare, and I shifted just slightly, feeling self-conscious. A bit. Just a bit.

"I never knew that you had a sinister side," he commented.

The look I shot him questioned his sanity.

A corner of his lips lifted a fraction. "Maybe I did," he admitted flatly, casually, like it was no big deal that thoughts of me being a sadist had crossed his mind seriously. He paused for a moment, shifting his intense gaze from my profile to the floor. "So," he said quietly. "Your sister."

I scowled. "Don't."

"You never said you had siblings."

My eyes hardened. "I said _don't_, Shiki. I don't want to talk about it."

His eyes were still trained on the ground. "You hate her. Why?"

I snapped my head towards him, anger evident in my voice. "What part of '_don't'_ don't you get?"

It was as though I hadn't even spoken. There was a thoughtful look in his eyes, opposed to the nonchalance that was usually in the cyan orbs, and I felt my fury shimmering a bit, because this showed it. It showed he cared. "Rivalry? Love?"

"Not even close," I scoffed, already regaining my calm composure.

"Care to tell me, then?" he asked softly.

My lips quirked up into a half-smile, half-sneer. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to sneer at him fully. No matter how much I wanted to tell him to get lost, to snarl at him and bite his head off, I couldn't. My brain would automatically re-change the words into something civil, something relatively decent, the moment the sentence was about to slip through my lips. "Not really."

When did he start having this power of me? This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This was—this was... I tried not to inhale too sharply, because I knew.

This would be my downfall.

He stayed silent for a minute, his eyes still thoughtful. "Will you tell me?"

I glanced at him fleetingly, a bit bewildered. Had he not heard my "not really" comment just a moment ago? It was true that I hadn't been here for too long, but by now, I'd normally have a somewhat accurate reading of a person's personality. People were easy to read. _Humans_ were easy to read. But then again, Shiki wasn't human. Was that what made it so hard to understand him? Was him being a vampire what made him so complicated?

Even now, after almost three weeks of being here, I still couldn't figure him out. In some ways, he was like me, and in so many other ways, he was not. I couldn't decipher what his actions meant. I couldn't get a gist of his train of thought by the way his eyes looked at something or by the movement of his body. All he was to me was a mystery. An enigma.

"I thought I said, 'not really' earlier," I replied.

"Eventually," he clarified.

Silence fell upon us as I pondered over this. I _could_ easily say that I would tell him in time, but I wouldn't know if I was lying or not. Usually, it would be no problem to answer this. Usually, my answer would be a quick, frank, "no." Usually, however, the person was not someone I had feelings for.

And, because of this, I didn't want to lie. So I thought it through. I thought about telling Shiki everything—about her, about us, about the war. I thought about telling him my feelings of hatred and loneliness. I thought about the pain, the things that haunted me. And I could _see_ it—I could see myself, in the future, sitting with Shiki and talking to him about it.

My lips turned into a soft, almost non-existent smile. I could feel him looking at me as I said quietly, "Yeah. I think so."

I supposed that was good enough, because Shiki didn't say anything. Instead, he reached inside his school blazer, and I watched, blankly, as he pulled out a box of strawberry Pocky and opened it. He held it out to me, silently offering.

The first thing that crossed my mind was, _What the hell_?

But then the thought vanished, because I knew that in this way, Shiki was accepting my answer. He was telling me, without words having to be exchanged, that he was okay with it.

Hesitantly, I reached out and took one. I held it between my fingers for a moment, staring at the thin, cookie-made cylinder covered in pink. Sighing almost inaudibly, I stick it into my mouth and finished it in a matter of seconds.

"The Winter Dance," Shiki suddenly said. His face was blank, like his voice, but his eyes were contemplative.

I could feel my face contorting into a look of terror and disgust. I couldn't help but wonder, was this the moment where he would ask me to go with him? And if it was, what would I say? I had never been asked to be someone's date before.

Before, I would've been ecstatic to have him ask me. I would've tried to play it cool, tried to come off as nonchalant as he did, but was really actually squealing on the inside. But that was all before this. Before he found out. Before _all_ of them found out.

Now, the thought of the Winter Dance made me feel sick. It made goosebumps crawl up my arm, knowing that she'd be there—not that she usually wasn't, but the thought that she'd be there mingling with the Day Class. Knowing that she could be in a storage room with a human male, her fangs piercing his neck as she fed. Feeling, deep in my gut, her watching me as she lurked in the shadows, waiting to make a move.

Almost absentmindedly, I asked, "What of it?"

Shiki shook his head slightly. "Will you be there?"

"Have to," I grunted, trying desperately to push aside all those thoughts. The images and scenarios that flashed through my brain made me feel cold. "You?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

I wanted to tell him that he _had_ to go—that by having him be there, it was going to act like an anchor. Never-mind the fact that I _wanted_ him to go, it was more like a _need_ now. I bit on my tongue hard, not wanting to blurt out my thoughts.

And as much as I didn't want to admit it, I trusted Shiki. I knew that he would keep me in line if he was there—that I wouldn't provoke her to start anything, and that he would protect me, keeping her from lashing out at me from behind a pillar.

My demise.

It was silent again. It was almost awkward, really. It was probably what happened when you put two anti-social people together, but I couldn't be sure. I had never been around people often, even anti-social people. I had come to accept that I was alone.

_But never __really__ alone._

Matsuzaki Amaterasu.

She was living inside me, feeling what I was feeling, seeing what I was seeing. She was always there, always a presence that I had felt within me, but never got used to. I hated it. I hated the feeling of _knowing_ I was only a vessel for her. I hated feeling her inside me, tuning into me. She knew _everything_ there was to know about me.

To her, I was naked. I was vulnerable, I was readable.

She knew what would push my buttons. She knew what to say, what to do, to screw with my mind and make me break down. She knew how to drive me insane, how to make me break, how to shatter me. This thing that was using me as a nest... She knew every single weakness that I had. She knew the darkest parts of my past. She _knew_.

And the hatred that I held within myself because of her almost made me tremble.

"Sasaki."

Pulled out of my trance, I stared at him, surprised. "What?"

He eyed me for a moment, a calculating look in those earth-shaped oceans. His voice came out uncaring, but I could detect just a faint, faint trace of curiosity laced with his words. "What are you thinking about?"

Not even bothering to lie about it, I confessed, "The witch living inside me."

"Ah."

"You don't sound surprised."

"I'm not."

"You're not?"

"No." Shiki's head tilted slightly again, and there was a ghost of a smile on his face as he glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "You're not that hard to read, Sasaki."

I couldn't help myself from snorting.

"You and I..." he paused, and something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone before I knew it. "You and I," he said again, "are alike, even if you don't think so."

Maybe it was because it was instinct, but even though I had been thinking that exact same thought just a few moments ago, I had to disagree. Shaking my head, I gritted out, "You and I, Shiki, are nothing alike. You don't have some spiritual sorceress living inside you trying to get revenge. You aren't a vessel. You don't have a younger sister, intent on killing you. You aren't alone."

"But neither are you."

"I was," I shot back.

He shook his head slightly. "Sasaki... There are times where everyone, no matter who you are, feel alone. And they are. Loneliness is experienced by everyone."

"I don't want to hear preaching," I informed him stiffly. I remembered that argument Shiki and I had, after I blew up. I didn't to fight with him again—not because it hurt me—but because I didn't _want_ to let him in. When you argue, when you're mad, you say things you don't mean to. You let things slip out, and your defences waver just a bit. Fights with him right now wouldn't be good. I didn't want him to _know_.

Because I knew that without a doubt, once he knew, I'd get attached.

And it'd kill me.

"I don't preach," he told me flatly. "I'm merely explaining to you a fact."

"Facts aren't always right." I wasn't sure why I was so adamant on him not being right. Perhaps it was because I'd always felt that I had been special in my own way—that, because of my isolation, I was somehow different from other people because I had _felt_ it; the pain that came with being alone. Maybe it was because I felt like I was more mature than others. Wiser. Less naive.

A corner of his lips lifted slightly. "Stubborn."

"So are you," I retorted, but I couldn't help the upwards tilt of my lips that mirrored his. A thought hit me as I looked at him, and it left my lips before I even registered my mouth had moved. "Why do you bother with me, Shiki?"

I could feel him stiffen. He relaxed himself so quickly that I wondered if I had just been imagining it. "I thought the answer was simple," he remarked dully.

"...Not exactly," I muttered.

"I practically spelled it out for you, Sasaki." He made a sound that was a cross between a scoff and an incredulous grunt.

I lifted my lips into a sarcastic, thin smile. "I don't have special eyes that can read in between the lines."

He flicked a glance at me for a second before he lifted a shoulder. "That's not my problem now, is it?"

"_What_?"

"What?" he raised an eyebrow.

Incredulous, I stared at him. "That's it? You're not going to tell me?"

He stared at me for a moment with eyes so intense, I felt goosebumps crawling along my arms. His eyebrow lifted just a fraction, as if he was seriously asking me if I had no idea what he's talking about. I scowled at him in response.

The corner of his lips tilted up. "There are some things that can't be told."

I almost twitched. "I hate riddles, you know that?"

"It's not a riddle," he replied.

"You're getting technical," I grunted, letting my eyes fall to the floor.

He didn't say anything.

The hush that came with being with Shiki was so frequent, that it almost felt natural. More often than not, we'd lapse into a pregnant pause in our conversations, where we'd keep our mouths shut and our thoughts wandered. Sometimes we caught each other's eyes, and unfortunately—or, _fortunately —_this had been one of those moments.

We stared at each other, neither one of us blinking or looking away. His eyes were masked, like always, with that indifferent barrier held up to block out whatever he was feeling on the inside. The colour of the sky during the summer, I decided, was what colour his eyes were. I made sure my eyes met his steadily, trying to read him, to figure him out. Trying to tear down his walls just by burning them with the invisible lasers that shot from my eyes.

I wasn't sure what was so funny, or what came over the two of us, but after another minute of the intense staring contest, the two of us simultaneously broke out into slight smiles. Not grins that showed rows of teeth or smiles so wide that they hurt our cheeks. Just slight, small, _soft_ smiles.

And it warmed me from my head to my toes.

Glancing away first, Shiki stood up from the fountain's border we had been sitting on. I watched as he dusted off some dirt that got on his uniform, and when he finished, he looked at me again with the tiny quirk of his lips still painted on his handsome face. He held one of his hands out, stuffing the other in his pocket, and his eyes held an expectant look in them.

I didn't argue, didn't ask him what he was doing, but I _did_ hesitate. I lifted my hand slowly, but I retracted it slightly as I thought about it. My heart desperately wanted me to reach out and grab his hand to know what it would feel like, even for a second, to have someone hold my hand again. But another part of me didn't want to grasp his hand—didn't want to take this symbolic gesture.

My eyes dropped from his, and I couldn't help it as my lips tilted down, my inner turmoil inside me raging. I knew that he didn't just simply mean helping me up from this concrete border. But I didn't know why he'd do it. To take his hand—to reach out and have his hand close around mine... It'd mean—

Without my consent, his hand grabbed mine, and he pulled me up effortlessly, his actions and grip firm, but somehow soft. I got jerked up to my two feet, the shock from it all causing me to stumble slightly, but he helped me regain my composure.

The surprise that was tattooed onto my face was something I couldn't help, no matter how hard I might have tried to hide it. I stared at him with wide eyes, astonished and befuddled, but somehow _relief_ drowned out all the others. Relief with a smidge of happiness. It overwhelmed me, giving me a jolt on the inside, almost like it was trying to startle Amaterasu.

With my heart racing, I couldn't help with smile.

The corner of his lips quirked up, and he began walking, tugging my hand gently. I stared at the back of his head as he walked ahead, tugging me along with his long, slender fingers still intertwined in mine. My skin felt like it was burning where it touched his, the feeling so strange, but not in an unpleasant way. I followed behind him, trying to calm my heart that had started leaping up to my throat, hardly wondering where we were going.

But as soon as I caught up with his pace and fell into step beside him, his loose hold of my hand fell, and he stuffed his hand into his pocket, mirroring his other one. I swallowed, feeling a sting in my heart at his actions.

_Stupid_,I thought.

I should've known that it was a precaution to keep me from leaving and not following. It was so idiotic of me to think otherwise—I mean, Shiki had Rima. He _had_ her. I wasn't sure why I thought I even had a chance with him in the first place.

To make matters worse, it was almost like Amaterasu decided that now was one of the rare times to wake up from her long naps. I could feel it. Needles disguised as tingles danced along my system, my brain hazing over for a brief moment as she rifled through my memories.

No matter how many times she did that, I always had the sense of being so goddamned _violated_.

_Sorry, sweetheart,_ she whispered into my mind. Her voice was faint, but it was like golden wind-chimes singing in harmony with the wind.

_Don't_, I hissed furiously, forcefully. _Don't just wake up from your stupid nap and tell me you're sorry. Don't call me sweetheart. That's what my _parents_ called me before—_I broke off from my thoughts, shutting my eyes tightly and swallowing the lump in my throat.

_Just—_

_Go away?_ She finished sadly, quietly. _Okay._

The sensations of her giving my body back to me, to giving me full control again, told me that she had, indeed, went back to slumber.

"We're here."

Breaking out of my reverie, I turned to look at him sharply, before turning to look where we had stopped just as quickly. Call me a coward for not wanting to meet his eyes. I didn't want him to see the wound he left by his stunt earlier.

A familiar shade of oak met my eyes, the panels forming two enormous double doors that led to the Moon Dorms. I temporarily forgot that this is where I lived now. I half-expected to see the sign engraved into the oak to change into the one of the Day Class, but no matter how much I stared, it remained the same symbol.

Reaching out, Shiki pushed open one of the doors for me, leaning against it to keep it open and to give me room to enter.

"Thanks," I mumbled almost incoherently as I went inside. I was halfway done taking off my shoes when the door began to close and Shiki, himself, had not entered. _Almost_ in a panic, I flung myself at the door and wretched it open.

Shiki's eyes greeted me, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Where are you going?" I demanded.

"I have..." he paused, like he was trying to word it properly. Eventually, he settled for, "Things... That I have to deal with."

"The little bit—"

Cutting me off, he nodded slowly. Upon seeing the revolted look on my face, he shook his head slightly, maroon locks falling lightly into his eyes. "You're safe."

I wanted to tell him I wasn't. That, no matter what, no matter where I was or who I was with, I wasn't safe. Wouldn't be. Not until this thing between us was over and one of us was gone for good. But as I flashed back to all those times I was with Shiki, all those times he was there, I couldn't get the words out. Because even though I knew, in both my mind and my heart, that I, realistically, _wasn't_ safe, I had _felt_ safe.

And, at this moment, it was all I needed.

To _feel_ safe.

So I nodded my head at his words, willing myself to believe them, willing myself to trust him even though I didn't want to, and murmured a quiet, "Okay."

After all, it was hard not to trust someone who told you they would save you.

* * *

A/N :

HAHA. Okay, yeah, that's it for chapter fifteen. I KNOW. IT WAS LAME, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU GUYS WAITED SO LONG FOR IT! But at least I got it done? -smiles hopefully- C'mon, you guys, don't throw tomatoes at me.

Tell me how it was in a review, will you? Hate it? Like it? Love it? I don't mind if you give me your opinion, whether negative or positive. It's how we grow as writers, right? -grins-

**Question :**

**What do you guys think happened to Riku's or Aiku's parents?**

HAHA! I'd honestly love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this particular question, so please remember to leave your answer for me in your reviews! I _will_ read them, so no worries. Type a LONG paragraph if you feel like it! It's always a pleasure reading what people think (:

SUPER SPECIAL THANKS TO... :

**Fourth Remnant, Cereah, TheSneakyHobo, Getsurenka, Alivi, Peachie-Trishie, mochalulu, shugochara119, NinjaSheik, Shadowsnow, JuJukins, Daisuke Hideaki, Akuma and Tenshi Hana, Princesa de la Luna, S H I N K U.S H I R A Y U K I, Dreamersheart21, Moon, , hoove-print-on-your-heart, Sayonara Yasashii Akumu, Yorukifon, Holy Star, my Little Dreamer, Anonymous, xxSilverBladexx, 0CookieMonster0, twindarkstar.05, colette-anton, Agidyne, Raserei B. Wolf, , IchiNa33, WinterSoulstis, athanasiamikee, starry123, XxHaku-Spirited-Away-RoseXxXx, Callalily1013, TheSecretSpot, SakuraAddiction13, panda loving psycho, Feistyfilly14, AliceMarieSwan, xX-UltraEMo-Xx, stellacisem, shatteredxcrystals, moonlightshadowsx, green mangolia, MidnightRose93, Xx-NiXXy-xX, AFC, XxShinigami-PrincessxX, unknown player, blueicefireNINJA4, CMinuteByMinute, Lucille Nomurakiari, azmaria kuze, and pennotes**

Also, thank you VERY much to all those who favourited and / or alerted! It means a lot.

And, to every single person who I knew read this? -winks- I wouldn't have finished this chapter, even now, if it weren't for you guys. (:

The next **two paragraphs** are going to be **directed to two reviewers**, so if you want, you guys can skip this. =P

First, to **WinterSoulstis** ;

HAHA! Ah, well, I think an anonymous reviewer-named, well, Anonymous, pointed it out. I'm pretty sure that I've left clues about their similar appearances. I couldn't have Akui have black hair and purple hair just like Riku, especially since I _knew_ that I wouldn't be getting into the whole, "OH, SHE HAS HIGHER CHEEKBONES AND HER EYES ARE BIGGER AND HER NOSE IS MORE PETITE" and all that, you know? So I just decided that since I was going to be somewhat vague with their facial structures, to have Akui and Riku have _similarities_. While Riku has black hair, Akui has an extremely dark blue that _could_ be mistaken as black. And Riku has lavender eyes that are like Zero's, although Akui has dark violet ones. Sorry that it's taken me so long to clear this up for you! Thank you for your review! ^^ I hope this helped you somehow. AND YES! I'll read your story soon, really. (: Sorry that I haven't yet! D;

And secondly, to **AFC,**

Ahhh, honestly, I'm not sure if I gave off the impression that I didn't like Yuuki. I mean, is that what it came off as? -is confused- I mean, I'm not going to lie. I'm not necessarily a big fan of Yuuki, but I'm trying not to include my dislike for her in this story. The person whose thoughts you're reading about are _Riku's_, and she's always been close friends with Zero and Yuuki. For a few years, they grew up together. They're childhood friends, therefore Riku has always grown up seeing Yuuki get treated more fragile than she has. It's like a bittersweet thing, you know? Where Riku doesn't hate or dislike Yuuki, but can't help but notice the differences between herself and her close friend. And yes, I _am_ aware that Yuuki let Zero bite her. Sorry, but it doesn't change my opinion. T-T I'm sorry! D; But your opinion is your opinion, so it's fine if we don't agree. I just wanted to clear it up for you. Thanks for reviewing~ ;D

Okay. Done. Bam.

Like I said, I can't say I'll update in, like, three days. But I'll try my hardest to never let it take so long. Gosh. Almost a year. -shudder- I hope that my writing has matured? HAHA.

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	16. Shadowed Mistake

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight. Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.**

**A/N :**

HEY, YOU GUYSSSS. Ah, gosh, I KNOW. You guys are all probably thinking, "She _finally_ updated!" And, well, yes, I did. It's been a long time, you guyssss. I'm really sorry about that. How long has it been since I last updated...? -checks- Last time was near the end of February, and now it's nearing the end of September, so around... seven or eight months or so? It's been so long... ;_; Don't shoot me, I'm really sorry. But, like I said, **I'm not abandoning this story**, so...

This next part is an **IMPORTANT THING I WANT TO SAY.**

Okay, I know that all of you are just like, "Damn it, she's gonna talk more. I just want to read the goddamn chapter!" But, really, I want to say this to you guys, and I want you guys to know I truly _mean_ it from the bottom of my heart.

_**Thank you so, so much for supporting me.**_

I started this story in 2009, and I never expected to have so many people reading what I write, anticipating the next time I'd update. You guys have absolutely _no_ idea how much it means to me to still have you guys supporting me, despite the long time it takes for me to update. The faith that you guys have in me is overwhelming, and I want you guys to all know that I truly, _truly_, appreciate how you guys are still standing by me with this story. I feel like I might have disappointed a lot of you, and that I might not match up to your expectations, and for that, I apologize. But I'm trying my hardest, and I hope that you guys will find it in yourselves to forgive me.

It might not seem like it, but the fact that I still get reviews and alerts even months after I last updated just motivates me to work harder and write faster. What you guys say, and how you guys still show your support in me really touches me, and I want you guys to know just how thankful I am to have such amazing readers. And I wanted you guys to know I love you guys.

So, yes, that includes my... super long speech. HAHA. I'm sorry if it bored you, but... I really just wanted to let people know-if, you know, you guys read my super long author notes at the beginning and end of my chapters... Not that I expect you to, but-

SHTISUREN REACHED OVER THREE HUNDRED REVIEWS! Thank you guys so, _so_ much! I never expected to get past a hundred, and the fact that I've gotten past three hundred-ah, god, you guys are awesome.

Thanks to _momo_ for sending in the 300th review! (:

At this point, I'll stop talking so that you guys can _actually_ read what you guys waited so long for, and deserve. For your awesomeness. So read on, my loves, read on...

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER S_I_X_T_E_E_N :**

_"Shadowed Mistake."_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-ONE [ CONTINUED ]

* * *

_I grasped the rectangular handle made of what looked like perfectly polished brass, the metal cool and almost haunting as my skin made contact with it. I pushed open the door, leaving behind a room that I just couldn't seem to remember any details about despite just being in there, and appeared in a vacant hallway. Like the feeling that I had gotten when I was in the previous room—even though I had only remembered it for a second—I couldn't mistake the sky of exquisiteness that hung in the air._

_The hallway was extremely wide and long. A minimum of _at least_ three people could've stretched their arms out directly to the side and stood beside each other and still fit easily into the width of the hall. The floor wasn't carpeted, but tiled with a dark granite that was polished to the point where the lights from the large crystal chandeliers that hung every few meters from the insanely high ceiling was reflected perfectly in the darkness of the tiles. The walls were painted the colour of ivory, and large windows the shape of stretched-out pentagons were placed every few metres, letting in a faint yellowish, orangey glow that made me believe the sun was starting to set._

_Walking down the corridor that seemed to stretch on forever, my ears seemed to perk up at sounds that hadn't registered in my brain before. A few more steps, and I was more aware of the sensations that fluttered across my skin and the weight of what I was wearing._

_My footsteps halted._

_Blinking, I looked down at my reflection on the floor. I couldn't help but let a scowl twist onto my face as I took in what I was wearing. I wasn't sure how I hadn't noticed it before, when such a large ball gown felt so heavy. The dress was strapless and a soft cream colour, the material made of what seemed like satin and silk. The bodice was tight, but not in a way that was suffocating. Yet, even though I could breathe properly, I still frowned in discomfort. It didn't give me _enough_ room to feel normal, like I was wearing what I always would. Intricate designs made from thread danced across the front and back bodice in swirls and curls that seemed to fit together to create something beautiful. The skirt of the dress fell into three tiered pick-up layers that were slanted off to the right, gold and black rhinestones decorating the bottom edges of the layers. It was a long and heavy ball gown, the dress dragging at least an inch onto the floor despite the open-toed gold heels that I knew adorned my feet._

_My hair, which I absolutely despised having tied up, had been tampered with and wasn't left down to be a ready-curtain during awkward moments that I felt I could escape if I just shielded my face from the opposite party. I had no idea how, but the black strands of hair had been twisted into some sort of bun at the back of my head. When I probed around my head, I could feel the bumps where certain strands weaved into others, and the changing of direction in which locks of hair got overlapped by other bundles. I could feel the bobby pins that held all of it in place and immediately frowned deeper. It would be painfully hard to get rid of all of them._

_For some reason, although I could've so easily started to pick out the bobby pins and let my hair down, something compelled me not to. I let my arms fall back to my side, and after glancing around the hollow hallway, I continued walking down._

_Click clack. Click clack. Click clack._

_The sounds of my heels sounded thunderous in the elegant hallway. I felt self-conscious, as if the walls that I walked beside had eyes and were judging me. It gave me an inferior feeling—such a grand and extravagant place. How could someone like me possible fit in?_

_You could dress me up like this, try to make me blend in with the absolute sophistication that emitted from the place, but that was just creating a small illusion. It was just briefly painting over what would eventually come through—my _real_ self._

_It was like this place knew it._

_From the smooth walls to the sleek floors, from the endless ceiling to the flowering chandeliers, from the small rays of light that sang through the crystalline window panes—it was like they all knew._

_I wasn't meant to be like this._

_No matter how much this mansion wished it, no matter how much it wanted me to fit in with the extravagance of it by dolling me up, it knew that it could never really change me. I was still rough. I was still blunt and reckless. Foul language still left my mouth like air, and I practically breathed in rebelliousness._

_I wanted to smile, but if I had, it would've been a sad one._

_Gliding through the hall, I felt like I was a princess walking through her home. I felt like I was living in a fairy tale—the kinds that children see in picture books or in fantasy movies. I remembered the times where I, too, had wanted to live life as a princess that would meet her prince. I had always been so hopeful back then, wishing and wishing for it to be true._

_And yet, as I wore the dress and moved down the hall, all I wanted to do was cry._

_It seemed so nostalgic somehow, it made my chest hurt. It wasn't as if anything in particular stood out to me in terms of familiarity, nor had I ever seen someplace remotely as beautiful as this in my life, but the wistfulness seemed to choke me. My heart weighed down in my chest, aching in a way that confused me and upset me more than it should. The back of my eyes hurt slightly as tears whispered to me, but I blinked hard to push them away._

_I didn't understand._

_Why were these emotions suddenly invading me like this? Where the hell were they even _coming_ from? I didn't understand, I didn't understand, I didn't understand. These feelings—I didn't want them. I didn't want to feel this throbbing in my chest or this melancholy that embraced me in such a welcoming manner._

_The passage suddenly stopped._

_I hadn't sped up, nor had the corridor showed any signs of stopping just a second ago. And, yet, if I had taken another step forward, I would have knocked into two large double doors. Similar to the rest of the place, the doors that loomed over me like giants seemed to have placed a judging eye on me, and like the rest of the place, it seemed to _understand_. I didn't know why, but I felt like this place, although trying to have me stay with them, _knew_ that I wouldn't, and accepted it._

_Designs were engraved into the dark chocolate wood. They were simple shapes like squares and circles, but placed carefully together to form something new and amazingly complicated. It looked simple, yet it held such beauty, it was hard to look away._

_I stood staring at the double doors for a long moment, my heart pounding harder the longer I refused to open the door. It thudded against my ribcage loudly and fiercely, but just as the pace of my heart escalated, so did the pain. The hurt that I had experienced while walking down the hall earlier wasn't mild pain, but it wasn't enough to make me want to kneel over. I had dealt with it, pushed it to the corner of my mind, and it had soon just turned into a dull throb that I suppressed. However, the longer that I stood in front of these doors, the soft hammering became something much stronger. I couldn't pass it off as just something I could shake off anymore—it _hurt_._

_Looking at the doors, I felt my throat close slightly. A new feeling struck me, and it appalled me even more when I realized what it was._

_Fear._

_I wasn't sure what would be waiting for me on the other side of these wooden doors. It wasn't a sense of wonder, or the fear of not knowing. It was just plain _horror_ as to what was there. I knew, I knew, I knew, but I just couldn't grasp it. I knew what was going to be there, but I just couldn't _remember_. Every time I felt like I had caught my train of thought, it broke and crumbled into pieces, and I was left with nothing once again._

_Why was I so scared?_

_Hesitantly, I reached out a slightly trembling hand and touched the cold handle. A jolt passed through my entire body—an unpleasant one. I scowled, hating the way I couldn't comprehend exactly what was going on. I wanted to understand, to _get it_. I wanted to understand why I felt the way I did, and the reason for it._

_I pondered, very briefly, _why_ I didn't understand._

_However, the thought popped out of my mind when the door creaked open. My eyes widened slightly in surprise—had I opened it? I wasn't sure. Instinctively, I took a step back. I could feel myself tensing for what was about to come, but I couldn't see what touched the box of dread that had filled me before I entered the room._

_Almost as if my body had a mind of its own, my feet took steps into the large and unusual room._

_I looked around, my eyes flickering everywhere, trying to absorb all the details and the way it looked. Just like the hallway, everything was so extraordinarily refined and majestic. The walls were painted the colour of white sand, the floor here being covered in unbelievably soft red carpet. A chandelier grew from the ridiculously tall ceiling, and pieces of furniture filled the room—bookshelves stacked with books, a desk with the basic things placed on it, doors leading to a closet and a large balcony outside, dressers, another set of doors to what I assumed was the washroom, and a king-sized four canopy bed that was placed in the very centre of the room._

_On the far wall, an extremely large window was centered. The window was a rectangle and was so enormous that it almost took up the entire wall itself. The drapes that would've covered the window from the outside world had been pulled and tied to the side, giving you full view of what was lay beyond the room._

_My eyebrows furrowed as my eyes rescanned the room. A deep frown tugged at my lips as I blinked hard and shook my head, trying to clear away what was bothering me. When I opened my eyes, though, nothing changed—the room was odd. While the lights were on, it was almost as if some of the light wouldn't reach certain parts of the room. The light was just—it was just _gone_ from there. It would just be a patch of darkness that, somehow, existed. Almost as if it had just been erased suddenly from existence, the room was full of these patches._

_It was brightly lit in this room, and yet, at the very same time, shadows seemed to dominate every little corner and every little detail in this room._

_Uneasy, I could feel my frown delve even deeper on my face, and my hands unconsciously clenched together._

_The room had been so captivating and so interesting, that I hadn't even realized that a figure stood in front of the window, looking outside. The person didn't move as I came into the room. I noticed he was fairly tall, and lean. From what I could see, he was dressed in a white dress shirt with a grey waistcoat over it. It fitted his relatively muscular frame nicely, and black dress pants covered his legs._

_The area around him was almost blindingly bright, but so many of the shadowed holes surrounded him, too._

_Letting my eyes absorb my details about him, I realized something that I should have noticed in the very first place—the familiar shock of thick and messy maroon waves.__  
__As if reading my mind, the body turned and looked at me._

_My heart stuttered._

_Somehow, relief mixed with a wave of negative emotions that ranged from anything like sadness to anger. Somehow, happiness warmed my heart for just a moment before it became cold again. And, just for a moment, I didn't feel scared anymore. But then my blood turned frosty again in just a second, and I could only stare at him._

_The voice that spoke belonged to me, but it sounded so strange. "Shiki." It sounded so loud in the silent room, even though I had barely breathed it out in a whisper._

_His nonchalant cerulean eyes met mine, his face just as expressionless and yet just as dazzling as always, but no words were spoken._

_Like a bomb that was waiting for a signal to explode, saying his name literally shook the entire room._

_Caught off guard, I gasped and reached for something around to me to grab onto and steady myself, but nothing was there. All I could do was stand there as I watched the room crumble—the walls burst, as if the bombs that had been implanted inside them finally detonated. The entire room trembled, and the large window shattered into what seemed like ten million pieces. The wooden furniture splintered and broke apart from some unknown pressure that seemed to push down on them. Debris flew everywhere, pages of books somehow loose from the books flying in a chaotic flurry of words._

_I lifted an arm to cover my face, feeling the sharp shards of glass cutting into my skin from various directions. Something large and hard—probably a chunk of wood—slammed into my legs, causing me to flinch and take a few unstable steps back. I could hardly register whether or not there was any pain into my brain. All I could focus on was trying not to topple over, which was proving to be a hard task as violent gusts of wind suddenly burst through the open window._

_In the midst of the chaos, I heard the ground beneath me groan._

_My eyes widened underneath my arms, and I didn't know why, but I uncovered my head to look up at Shiki. He was completely unaffected with what was going on. Nothing seemed to be able to reach a certain area around him, leaving him scratch-free and unharmed. At this point, I didn't even question how or why it was like this, because all I could think about was how he was okay._

_I knew it was coming—I knew that it would happen. I supposed that, in a way, it was _because_ I knew that it would happen that I could look up at him instead of hiding away, waiting for the storm of debris to end._

_The floor that I stood on was starting to crumble._

_Even so, despite knowing, my feet wouldn't move away. I couldn't move a single millimetre from where I stood, and even though my heart felt like it was being ripped into pieces, all I could look at was him._

_And as the carpeted floor creaked beneath me and finally gave away, his sapphire eyes that met mine were the last thing I saw before I fell._

_The sensation of falling was something I would never get used to. The rush of the air around me, the drop in my stomach, I hated all of it, but it all seemed so familiar. I didn't know where I was falling, or if I was even falling into _somewhere_ if anywhere at all. The light that came from the floor that had deteriorated beneath me began getting smaller and smaller quickly, and eventually, the distance and darkness covered up the only thing that I could actually _see_._

_It wasn't an extremely long drop, but I was still surrounded by complete and utter darkness for a few moments. In those moments, I could feel the adrenaline that pumped through my system, temporarily easing away the fear and the anxiety that that formed a pool inside me._

_After a moment, I felt myself crash through a layer of wood, and then another, and then another, and then another. The shock that hit me when I collided with the first layer lessened as I made my descent and by the time I finally broke through the final wooden layer and stopped falling, my body felt like it could hardly move._

_I laid there on an under-layer of wood; the surface wood had been broken from when I fell from the ceiling. I shut my eyes, trying to control my breathing. It seemed so hard to get the oxygen into my lungs. Despite being much stronger than a regular human, it didn't mean I was indestructible._

_A few heartbeats passed. Sucking in a deep breath, I willed my body to move. Reaching out to the side, I clutched onto a large piece of floorboard that had been sticking up directly from the ground after I had broken it in half. Using it to help haul me up into a sitting position, I let out a small coughing fit and my eyes watered from the dust that had been disrupted upon my arrival._

_Standing up and straightening myself, I looked down at the hole I had created in the floor, and then up at the ceiling, where a similar opening had been made. From that gap, I could see many floors and ceilings that I had broken on my way down._

_Scowling, I tore my eyes away from ruptured wooden boards and let my eyes soak in the new and drastically different room. Unlike the mansion I had fallen from, this place didn't give off even an ounce of delicacy and luxury. On the contrary, it gave off a feeling of being broken and abandoned—old, forgotten._

_It was a small room. It couldn't even be thought about in comparison to the mansion. The walls were bare, without any paint or wallpaper on them. The wood that was used to create the walls was a depressing shade of grey, like the colour had been sucked out of them. The floor was the same as the walls, nothing carpeting it. A small square table with two stools was pushed into the corner of the room, made of the same type of wood as the rest of the place. It was all the same—just lifeless wood, wood, wood._

_Dust accumulated along the surface of everything, the piles higher than a centimetre and a half. Somehow, even the walls had thick layers of dust clinging onto them. A lot of it had been scattered into the air after I had fallen down, and cobwebs hung and stretched along the few items that were in the room. Some strands of the cobwebs went directly from one wall over to the opposite, creating a large but incomplete web, while there were some small ones that were finished._

_Sighing, I lightly touched the surface of the table. The dust, almost as if I was a shark and they were the schools of fish, instantly scattered away from my hand. The dust, literally, moved away from my hand and swirled off the table, the small particles flying in separate directions as long as it was away from me._

_I blinked, my eyebrow furrowing together. How was it possible that dust even moved on its own?_

_It set off a chain reaction—in a matter of seconds, all the dust that had been covering the place had been cleared. The mounds of dust that had been left in peace for what seemed like decades had fled their home, most specks of dust flying up to a higher floor through the gaps I had made._

_It was only _after_ the dust had been completely cleared out of my sight that I saw it all._

_Blood._

_Dark splatters of it littered the room—there were large pools of it on the floor, some of the blood had dried and turned into something that looked more like black than red. Splatters of it lined the walls, some outlining the shape of a person, while others were just streaks of blood. I could see now that the walls had indents in them, as well as moderately thick slits, where I assumed a blade had cut through._

_However, if I thought it was only dried blood that filled the room, I was wrong._

_Something mildly warm dropped onto my cheek and slid down, falling down from my jaw before I could even make a move to see what it was. My face contorted into one of horror and disgust when I reached up to wipe whatever it was off my cheek, only to see a bright crimson stain on my hand._

_I could feel the liquid drop onto my shoulders and onto my hair, and suddenly the room seemed a lot colder than it had been just a moment ago. Something crawled up my spine slowly, sending a chill through me that gripped me tightly. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up._

_Mechanically, I looked up at what was dripping from the ceiling, and dread seeped into my core when I realized it was, in fact, blood dripping from the ceiling. Where it had come from, I had no idea, nor was I sure I _wanted_ to know._

_Letting my head fall back straight, I moved from the spot that the blood dripped onto, only to feel myself step into a pool of liquid. I froze immediately, my heart stopping for barely a second, and then I shut my eyes and inhaled deeply._

_Keep calm._

_Opening my eyes, I swallowed as quietly as I could as I looked down at the cool puddle of shining red crimson that I was currently soaking my feet in. Trying to contain my nausea at the sight, I breathed deeply and stepped out of the small, but deep puddle. When I was out, I was recognized that I was missing one of the heels I had been wearing, and the one that was still attached to my left foot was breaking at the straps. My dress, as well, was in a wreck. A large portion had been swiftly ripped out in the front, exposing my legs. Rips and large tears muffled the bodice and danced along the skirt that _hadn't_ been ripped out. The creamy colour now looked dirty, and blood had somehow gotten onto the dress, the cherry liquid seeping into the fabric and spreading slowly._

_From a poised princess dressed up in splendour, I had transformed into a filthy girl dressed up in tattered remains of what _used_ to be something of grace._

_Something creaked._

_Whirling around, I turned towards the direction in which I heard the whimpering of the floor. The sight that I saw surprised me greatly, and all I could do was stare with widened eyes and a slightly opened jaw._

_Me?_

_She was me._

_The way her eyes were shaped and their colour, and her facial structures—they all matched mine. She didn't look like a younger version of me or an older version of myself, just... _Me_. Her long hair was left straight and down, just the way I liked it, and she wore a simple white dress with thick shoulder straps. No designs or logos painted the paper-white dress, nor did anything decorate the plain white flats that were hugging her feet._

_She looked at me, and all I could do was stare back at her—me?—with a dumbfounded expression._

_Holding my gaze with hers for just another second longer, she pivoted on her heels and turned away soundlessly. She touched the wall where a door—one that had no knob—was, causing it to swing open and make itself known. Without hesitating, she headed into the darkness._

_I wanted to tell her to wait, to explain to me what was going on. I wanted to reach out and grab her and smack her silly until she told me where I was and what was happening. But the only thing that I could bring myself to do was to place one foot in front of the other and to follow her._

_The passage that I entered was quite spacious, but it was incredibly cold. A chill ate at my bare skin, causing goosebumps to surface along my flesh. Torches that barely gave off enough light to let you see vague shapes were placed every few metres apart, leading the way to wherever the place was headed. I would occasionally see a flash of white that belonged to her dress, or catch a few strands of her hair flying out behind her as she rounded a corner, but for the most part, she was out of my sight. No matter how fast I walked or ran, I couldn't seem to catch up with her._

_Made of stone, the walls seemed to get closer together the farther I headed down. It wasn't a suffocating kind of narrow, but it was definitely less wide than it had been at the beginning. There were a few flights of stairs that led down, and I couldn't help but feel relieved that it was all heading in one direction with no turns. I had no doubt that I would've been lost if there had been any other aisle openings._

_After descending a flight of spiralling stairs, my feet touched the last of the steps, and I found myself in a room made of wood similar to the previous one. In fact, it looked almost exactly the same, except it was much larger, and while it contained the same furniture and the same stains, everything seemed to just increase in numbers. More splatters of blood, more pieces of random furniture. However, this room also had a lot of broken furnishings—desks that were broken in half piled on top of one another, chairs with the legs broken off and thrown onto the floor, bed frames that had been snapped into many pieces, dressers that had gigantic holes in them at the most random places. Splinters and chunks of the dreary grey wood was scattered all over the floor, and I noticed that, despite not having any windows or any glass objects, shards of glass were also mixed into the debris._

_Large portions of the walls were missing, and there were enormous slashes in the walls and along the floor. An opening in the ceiling was made, looking as though it had been created from something smashing through it. Pages out of books had been ripped out, lying out on the floor. Some had been crumpled up into balls while others had been shredded into many pieces, the pages ranging from a clean and bright white to a dark and old beige._

_Loads of thick books had been put on top of each other and pushed into a corner, the height of the piles ranging from almost touching the ceiling to barely having three books mounded on top of each other. A heap had been toppled over, however, causing a domino effect on a few other stacks, creating a look of neat disarray._

_Glancing around, I spotted the girl—myself—standing on a flat surface of a broken desk that was placed near the top of a pile of other broken furniture. Unsure of how she managed to do that without causing the desk to keel over due to her weight and have the rest of the equipment collapse down on her, all I could do was watch her warily as she turned to face me._

_Our eyes met, and I was struck with the feeling of looking in the mirror. It made my heart uncomfortable, a sense of anxiety slowly swimming in the corner of my mind. Her eyes were so unnerving, I could feel myself frowning slightly as I looked into them._

_They looked so sad._

_The room shook._

_Even though everything around us trembled, I didn't flinch. It wasn't a major shake, but it was enough to be felt. For some reason, though, it didn't surprise me. I didn't feel like I was scared that the room would cave in on me or that the floor would give away and I'd start falling again. Bluntly, a sense of indifference filled me as the room quaked, and I wasn't sure why._

_She held my gaze for a moment longer before she let her eyes drop from mine. Reaching for something behind her back, I watched her cautiously as she slowly took out a small switchblade._

_Horrified, I opened my mouth to speak, but sensing what I was about to say, she shook her head. She gently cut into the pad of her index finger, and watching myself do that, I couldn't help but grimace. I had never been an enormous fan of blood, and watching as someone purposely caused themselves to bleed, it made me feel queasy._

_She released the blade._

_It clattered onto the surface, skidding a foot away from where she had been standing on the desk. The edge of the blade hung over the end of the piece of furniture, but it didn't fall off the boundary. Turning her back to me, she faced an area on the wall that hadn't been harmed by anything, whether it be blood stains or slits in the wood or punctured holes. It was just smooth wall, and she began to write something on the small space she had._

_I analyzed her carefully. My entire body was tense, ready to move if she made any sudden movements that seemed dangerous. Yet, her actions and motions were languid and easy to read. There didn't seem to be any hidden motives in what she was doing—she was just writing on the wall. I mused, for just a second, what she could be writing, but I knew that she would show me the moment she was done._

_Reaching up to push away some of my bangs that had gotten into my eye, I scowled deeply. My hair was in a mess, knotting and tangling. Dried blood had glued random strands together, and while some strands were still tied up into the elegant bun, there were also many strands that had been pulled loose and were flying everywhere. The bobby pins had been pulled around, causing my scalp to hurt slightly._

_I didn't have much time to debate about my hair, though, as she finished in just a few short seconds. Taking a step to the side to prevent her body from blocking what she had written, I could feel her eyes on me as she judged my reaction._

_Names._

_Seeing those names knocked the wind out of me, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. My throat closed up, the oxygen that I tried to inhale got stuck in my throat, and my chest felt tight and cold. My heart thumped hard and loud and fast in my chest, but it felt like it had just been shot through with a bullet. Something cold flooded my body, and I couldn't move. I could only stare, wide-eyed, at all the names she had written in her blood on the wall._

_I felt like something was closing in on me._

_The room quaked violently, but I could hardly even register it._

_My body slowly began to shake, even though I didn't want it to. I felt like I was being suffocated, like I was being drowned. All I wanted to do was to look away, but no matter how much my mind screamed for me to, I couldn't. My head began to hurt, a hammer being repeatedly slammed into my skull, and my heart felt like it was literally quivering._

_"No," I managed to choke out, shaking my head. The one word that left my mouth came out in a croak that was barely the sound of a breath, but it seemed to be so loud. She looked at me solemnly, and she looked down at what she now held in her hands._

_A picture frame._

_The picture that was kept in the simple frame was a photo of me. It wasn't a fancy one, but it seemed more like one that the paparazzi would take when they see a celebrity, just for the sake of it. I wasn't directly facing the camera, so the photo showed my profile. A smile was on my face—a real one. One that actually made me look like I was _happy_. My eyes, too, despite not facing the camera, seemed to be smiling in a way that they didn't anymore._

_It was hard to remember the last time I had a look like that on my face._

_She dropped it._

_Two pairs of lavenders eyes were fixated on the frame as it fell from her pale hands and made contact with the floor. The second it collided with the wood, the glass of the frame exploded into millions of fragments, and simultaneously, the picture burst into flames. The fire didn't seem to affect anything surrounding it but the picture, which started to curl into itself and burn black._

_I looked up at her, and she didn't flinch away from my eyes. No words were exchanged between us, but I felt like I understood everything that she felt, that she wanted to say. After a moment, she softly shut her eyes and slowly shook her head._

_And then the tears fell._

_From her eyes, from mine, the tears fell. Before I could even blink, the liquid had invaded my eyes, filled my vision, and then poured out the corner of my eyes and down my cheek._

_Why was I crying?_

_My heart hurt._

_The room wouldn't stop shaking._

_Instead of having things collapse and having more damage done to the room, the opposite was taking place. The gashes in the wood began to heal, smoothing out. The ceiling was repairing itself, the wood somehow seeming to stretch itself out to cover up the hole. The shreds of paper seemed to know exactly where the other pieces were, and they sorted themselves out into their spots to form the correct passages. Although the room was quaking so violently now, everything seemed to finally use this time to band together again instead of getting torn apart even more._

_New planks of wood erupted up from the ground one by one, as if preparing to make another layer after the first._

_Bewildered, I turned back to where she had been standing, but I only saw air. I whirled around the room, trying to catch a glimpse of her, but all I saw was the room trying to rebuild itself._

_And, just as she had disappeared, I could feel myself fading._

_... Where was I?_

Blinking my eyes, I groggily reached over and turned off my shrieking alarm. I let my arm fall back onto the bed, but I made no move to get up and out of bed. Instead, I shut my eyes again and let out a loud sigh, wondering just _what_ I had been dreaming of.

* * *

"Sasaki-san, do you mind coming to help out with the lights after you're done here?" a tall Day Class student with short hair dyed a dark blonde, asked me.

"Alright," I told her, setting down the chair that I had carried into the ridiculously large ballroom where the Winter Dance would be taking place later tonight. All classes had been cancelled today in preparation for the dance, and all the Day Class students that had volunteered to be on the committee that set up the Winter Dance were running around, trying to get everything together before the dance actually started.

Of course, we weren't expected to have done everything and prepared everything on this day. We had been working on the decorations and had gathered everything that was needed during our time when classes were finished. We had been working after classes for the past few days to try and assemble most of what was required, and today we were just putting on the finishing touches and making sure that everything was ready. We were just placing things where they needed to be, but that didn't mean it wouldn't take hours.

A chair clothed with white and had a royal blue ribbon tied into an elegant bow at the back was placed down next to the chair I had set into place just a second ago, and I glanced at Zero from the corner of my eye. His face was twisted into a scowl, and it was obvious that he wasn't the least bit happy with today at all. From the moment I had laid my eyes on him this morning, I knew that a dark and depressing raincloud would be following him for the rest of the day.

In an attempt to make him feel _slightly_ better, I offered, "It's better than listening to another lecture on math."

He flicked me a glance. "I'd be asleep."

"You'd be woken up," I countered. The two of us began heading out the large and open double doors again, our feet taking us back to the storage room in which all the chairs were being checked and re-decorated if necessary by other Day Class students. On our way to bring more chairs in, we saw clusters of other students helping out as well, each and every one of them carrying a chair or two, while some were carrying in the tables in which the chairs would be situated around. Everyone was busy, but somehow, they all looked like they were having so much fun doing this.

Zero and I, however, were obviously not seeing the joys in being forced into helping out.

Retaliating against my previous comment, Zero muttered, "It's not as much work as this." Admittedly, he looked extremely tired. Perhaps it was because he had such a pale skin tone, but the dark crescents that hung under his eyes were dark and very visible, outlining his eyes in a way that made them look like they were being dragged down.

"True," I admitted, taking a step to the left to avoid crashing into a petite person that seemed to have the chair dwarfing over her. "But Kasamatsu's voice gives me a headache." I knew that I wasn't the only one who wanted to slam my head into a wall every time the grouchy and loud man opened his mouth to speak.

Seeing my point, Zero grunted. The scowl was still present on his face, but he seemed just a tad bit less grouchy than he had been just a moment ago. I supposed that it wasn't the fact that I had actually knocked some sense into him, but more like the fact that he had just wanted to take his mind off of today, even if it was for a second.

Entering the storage room, Zero and I both grabbed chairs from the cluster that had already been rechecked and redone before manoeuvring ourselves out of the room and back towards the ballroom. We passed by a laughing group of Day Class students that were playing around with air pumps and balloons, and I couldn't help but sigh.  
I wondered why prefects were _required_ to do these things.

Perhaps it was because of the way I presented myself. I wasn't weak or delicate, and I knew that I gave off a cold and intimidating aura. It was possible that that was why I was assigned to help out with things that involved a lot of physical movement and strength instead of something like what Yuuki was doing—helping out with the balloons and the steamers and lights. Although I knew that her jobs weren't exactly easy as well, they didn't involve as much energy.

But, knowing her, the pretty brunette was probably wasting her energy on unnecessary things.

I carefully placed the chair in the last spot available at the round table before moving to the table next to it and placing the second chair I had carried in place. Zero followed my actions, though his was done more carelessly.

"Go take a break," I suggested, placing a hand on the back of a chair as I turned to look at him.

He let out a scoff. "I don't want to deal with the aftermath when he finds out I slacked."

I shot Zero a look, not accepting his half-assed excuse. "Please."

He didn't say anything, but his eyes flickered from mine to something that was taking place behind me, and I looked over and my shoulder and what had caught his attention. I wasn't surprised at all when I saw that he was looking in the direction of a certain optimistic brunette that was working hard at putting up the lights along the ceiling. After all, despite everything, I had a feeling that it all came back to the same thing.

Catching my gaze, Zero's lips tilted downwards. "Shut up," he told me, even though I hadn't said anything aloud. He looked away from me, his eyes wandering from the floor, then to the side. He looked back up when an excited wave of whispers and voices suddenly erupted through the room.

Looking over at what had caused such a commotion, I was surprised to see a tall figure with light blond hair walk through the doors leading into the ballroom. Like everyone else that was in the room, he had discarded his school uniform for the day, but it didn't make him stand out any less. In fact, it only seemed to emphasize his inhumane beauty even more. It was a rare sight to see a Night Class student meandering around in the day, and it was ten times _rarer_ to see them in anything besides the standard Cross Academy uniforms.

"Ichijou-senpai," a female student sighed dreamily. She looked up at him with wide but dazed eyes, her heart on her sleeve. "Good afternoon! What brings you here today? Are you looking for someone?" It didn't take a genius for anyone to realize she was, in high hopes, referring to herself.

Most of the movement in the room had stopped. It was an effect that came with being part of the elite Night Class—everything fell into a hush whenever you were in the room. It was either it got extremely quiet and everyone was anticipating what you'd say, or everyone went wild because they could catch a glimpse of one of the famous Night Class. It wasn't normal for things to continue on usually when the presence of a Night Class student was in the room. It just didn't _happen_.

With eyes that sparkled, Ichijou smiled. The contented sighs that escaped many females in the room was clearly heard, but he hardly seemed to realize that the poor student that had addressed him looked like she was on the verge of fainting from his attractiveness.

"Actually," he said cheerfully, "I am." He looked around the room, his eyes scanning the faces that were entranced by him, and when those emerald orbs landed on me, they seemed to smile even more. The corners of his lips tilted even more, and he waved at me. "Sasaki-san, good afternoon! You as well, Kiryuu-kun."

Only mildly surprised at his greeting, I answered, "Good afternoon, Ichijou-senpai."

Zero half-grunted and half-mumbled out his response, and I could literally feel him tense up beside me. Despite not loathing Ichijou, I knew that Zero still couldn't fully accept them. Even though he was becoming one of them, even though he was trying so hard, he just couldn't bring himself to welcome them, even if it would only be for a second.

Making his way gracefully towards us, he stopped when he was only a few feet away. Beaming at me, he said, "I need you to come with me, Sasaki-san." The look on his face made me believe that it wasn't anything serious, but the fact that he was up during the day looking for me made me second-guess what was underneath the smile. Almost as if reading my thoughts, he laughed and shook his head. "It's nothing serious. Really."

I looked around the room, sensing pairs and pairs of eyes burning into me. I could practically hear their raging thoughts as they listened in on my conversation with the blond vampire. "I'm on the committee to help with the Winter Dance, I can't just leave."

"Why do you need her in the first place?" Zero demanded quietly, his voice tired and civil, but still holding a sort of bite to it that didn't go unnoticed by Ichijou, nor I. His amethyst eyes met Ichijou's jade ones, neither of them wavering, and a silent exchange happened between them that I couldn't quite understand.

Ichijou shook his head, his smile stretching. "I can't say—if I tell you, then it'll ruin the secret. I promise that it's not anything bad, though. I'll take good care of Sasaki-san, Kiryuu-kun. You can trust me with that. She's in safe hands." Turning to address me, he added on, "And I've already talked to the Chairman. He thinks it's a great idea, and wanted you to know that if you aren't out of here within the next ten minutes, he'd come and drag you out personally."

Unable to help it, I raised an eyebrow at the words that left the cheerful vampire's lips. Kaien and I still hadn't spoken since our dispute, and I highly doubted Ichijou's words. Although it saddened me to think back on our argument, I still felt bitter on the inside. I knew that I wasn't being mature and that I was just being a spoiled brat, but I wasn't ready to forgive him yet. So I decided not to push it, and instead of protesting or making up excuses as to why I couldn't leave the room, I nodded my head. "Alright."

"Fantastic," Ichijou breathed out a sigh of relief. "I was worried that we would spend a long time debating on why you should come with me."

I wasn't sure how to respond to what he said, so I remained silent. Turning to Zero, I noticed how he was scowling even deeper than earlier this morning when I first saw him. His hands were folded across his chest, and his eyes were alert as he looked at me. Reaching out, I placed my hand lightly on his forearm, telling him that it was going to be okay. He turned away from me, but I knew what he was telling me even without him saying it.

Peering at Ichijou from the corner of my eyes, I caught him observing me. Instead of avoiding my eyes, he met them straightforwardly, and he smiled a warm smile that made me feel fuzzy from my head to my toes. It was such a kind smile, it was hard not to be affected by it.

"Let's go, shall we?" Ichijou made sure that I had taken a step towards the ballroom door before he fell into step with me. Everyone watched as we passed by them, some looking in surprise and awe, and others looking in envy and hate. I had no doubt that the moment I left the room, they would all be talking about what had just happened. I knew that strange rumours would start spreading around, and that I would have to deal with a lot of jealous people later on, whether it be tonight or in future classes.

The two of us walked in comfortable silence out the doors, neither one of us opening our mouths to speak. In my case, it was because I knew that the Day Class students had no idea what the Night Class really were, and everything that I wanted to say would relate back to the truth that the students in the day were left clueless about. It would only cause confusion and problems would arise, so I had decided to keep my mouth shut until we were out of earshot of anyone who could possibly be listening. I wasn't sure of his reason, but I assumed that it was the same as mine.

He led the way out of the school and down the concrete path that led to the very main entrance of the academy, where the large black gates stood tall and proud. Since it was already winter, the sun didn't show its shining head through the thick grey clouds, and the breezes that ran by were cold. The bare branches of the trees looked like skeletal fingers, and dead leaves surrounded the trunks on the floor.

We were silent until we reached the main gate, which the gatekeeper opened for Ichijou easily, and I realized that he had gotten a car. It was a sleek black SUV with windows tinted so dark that I couldn't even see inside, despite my enhanced vision. It was more than likely custom-made to fit the lives of vampires, and as I opened the door and slid inside, I couldn't help but wonder if the driver knew just who had entered the car.

Ichijou didn't even need to give the man behind the steering wheel directions, because the moment we were comfortable, he was already riding down the pathway to our destination. "Don't look so tense, Sasaki-san," Ichijou laughed. "It really isn't anything major."

Still sceptical, I asked, "Where are you taking me?"

"I wasn't lying when I said that it's a secret," he replied. "It's not that bad. On the contrary, I think you might even enjoy it."

The way he phrased it unsettled me. "Enjoy what, exactly?"

He shook his head, smiling. "You'll see."

"You can't—" I caught myself, not wanting to spark a dispute. I wasn't going to force him to tell me something that he felt like he couldn't say outright. Something about Ichijou made you feel secure, and it made you trust him. I didn't want to push anything, so instead, I changed the topic. "Why are you up, Ichijou-senpai?"

His tone was teasing. "What's up with that? Am I not good enough to spend time with you, Sasaki-san?"

"I—what? No," I blinked at him. "It's not that—it's just... Shouldn't you be asleep?" I had already confirmed that the chauffeur was a vampire, so I wasn't worried about speaking freely about their secret.

"I've gotten plenty of rest," Ichijou responded. "I'm not tired in the least. Besides, it's hard to feel sleepy when the Winter Dance is just a few hours away. How do you expect me to sleep when this event is one of the very few occasions where we, the Night Class, get to interact with the Day Class students?" I could hear the excitement in his voice as he spoke, and he sounded like he was genuinely happy that he would get to speak and have fun with the Day Class students. The way he said it, it sounded as if he was eager to make friends, not as if he was planning a meal.

"Is it this big of a deal every year?" I inquired, trying to inject some enthusiasm into my voice. Ichijou seemed so wholehearted about it, I felt like I had to at least _try_ and see the joy in having to attend the stupid dance.

Nodding his head, he confirmed, "Definitely. It always causes uproar at the school, but it's fun. Everyone works together to get things done—the Night Class as well as the Day Class get to work together to plan it out and get everything ready. It's nice to see our races co-existing."

"Why didn't you sign up to help?" The lack of emotion in my voice when I said it was what stopped the phrase from coming out in an accusing manner. I knew that if I had tried to inject _any_ sort of feeling into that sentence, it would only sound like I was making Ichijou sound like a bad guy.

"I wanted to," he sighed forlornly.

"Why didn't you?" My gaze darted to rest on him for a second before my eyes moved away to stare out the window again. The things that we passed by weren't completely blurred out, showing that the car wasn't moving at an incredibly fast speed.

"A lot of things in the vampire society need to be taken care of at this time as well," Ichijou explained to me simply. The disappointment was evident in his tone as he continued, "I'm always travelling around and visiting others at this time, so that even if I volunteered to help out, I wouldn't be able to make it to the meetings and to help out."

Nodding slowly, I commented, "It sounds tiring."

"Only a bit," he chuckled lightly. "Although I'm not a big fan of car rides, it's nice to see everyone every now and again. Since we attend Cross Academy, it's uncommon that we leave school grounds or have visitors. Although it's not very long at all, most of the families exaggerate and make it seem as if it's been decades instead of less than a year."

"Isn't it to please you?" It wasn't as if I believed that Ichijou needed to have grand parties thrown for him every time he visited other noble vampire families, but I also knew that he belonged to a family that sat near the top of the social hierarchy. Of course the people around him would automatically change to treat him better to get into his good graces.

"Perhaps," he mused thoughtfully. "But it's kind of sad, don't you think? I don't want such fake welcomes." His eyes dimmed a bit, but before I could say anything at all, they lit up again. "It's why I hope to help out with the ball next year. I'm really looking forward to making room in my schedule to be able to assist everyone."

Taking his lead, I pretended not to notice the shift in his mood. "I'm sure that the Day Class students would be delighted to have you helping out."

He laughed, the sound so melodic and charming, I could understand why he had so many fans falling at his feet. "Do you think so? I think that the honour would be all mine. I'd get to know everyone better, and they'll know me a bit better, too. It seems like such a fun thing to participate in." My face scrunched up as he spoke this, and upon seeing the action, he laughed again in amusement. "I guess it's not that way for you, Sasaki-san?"

"I'm not as..." I paused, trying to find the correct word. He waited patiently as I wracked my brain to fill in the blank, but I couldn't find the one that fight correctly, so I settled with, "Social as you are."

He didn't say anything for a heartbeat, but when the word left his lips, I couldn't help but turn to stare at him. "Smile."

Another heartbeat, and then another.

"...Smile?" I repeated, my voice expertly monotone despite the raging storm of confusion that was happening within me.

He nodded, and when his eyes met mine, they were startlingly tender. They glinted, but not in a happy way, and they smiled, but not in a way that brightened up his face. His smile, too, looked different, and it bothered me, because I wasn't used to seeing Ichijou like this.

"I don't—"

"You don't smile," he interrupted, his eyes not leaving mine. They still looked at me with the same sad gentleness in them, and it made my throat feel hoarse, because how could he look at me like that and not expect it to affect me at all? How could he speak to me in such a tone, like he actually cared about me?

The corner of his lips slipped a bit, his smile diffusing slightly. "You don't... Smile."

"I do." The words left my lips before I could help it. They just tumbled out, because all I wanted to do was erase the look on Ichijou's face. I didn't want to hear this from him—not with that tone, not with that voice, not with those eyes. I didn't want to have this conversation with anyone. I didn't want to talk about it—I didn't want anyone to read me.

A strand of hair fell into his eyes as he shook his head, and he gently brushed it away. He stayed quiet for a moment, like he was contemplating what to say, but all I wanted was for him to stay silent. I knew that I wouldn't be so lucky, though.

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel happy and flattered that Ichijou was showing concern for me, or if I should be hateful and angry that he was trying to push himself into business that I didn't want him to poke around about. Both arguments had their own pros and their own cons, and I knew that if I wanted to, I could spend _days_ having an internal battle with myself over it and still not come up with a final decision.

Letting out a soft sigh, I wondered how I let it turn out this way.

"Why do you do it?" Ichijou suddenly asked. Mildly surprised at his question, I turned to look at him with an expressionless, yet questioning, look plastered onto my face. He elaborated, "Putting up a cold and nonchalant front—why do you do it?" He paused for just a second before continuing, "Maybe it's not in my place to ask such a thing, but... It bothers me. It really does."

Phrasing my words carefully, I asked him, "What makes you think it's a front?"

"Because it's not who you are," he answered easily.

"How can you say that so confidently?" I shot back at him with just as much effortlessness. Regardless of how blasé that I seemed on the outside, I was anxious on the inside. Restlessness hugged my heart, distress evident in the embrace, but I kept my apathetic aura up.

Just as quickly, he retorted, "What makes you think that you see yourself clearly?" His eyes seemed to glow as he said this, like it was something that got him fired up. The way his pools of forest green blazed and the strong and fierce edge to his tone almost made me reel back from him in unexpectedness. The power that engulfed him at that moment was so strong, I was surprised it wasn't physically visible.

"I know myself," I enlightened him softly, impassively. The urge to look away from his eyes was overwhelming, but my pride wouldn't it. "I know myself very well."

He spoke the second that I had finished my sentence, like he had been expecting that answer. "No, Sasaki-san. You don't."

"Don't." My tone took on a freezing note, and even though I was so sure he noticed, he pretended not to. He didn't even bat an eyelash at the bite in my voice. "Don't act like you know me so well."

"You'd be surprised," he informed me, "of just how little I feel like I know you. But that's the thing—I _want_ to get to know you better, Sasaki-san."

Incapable of stopping it, a look of incredulousness danced across my face. Something like that—how was I supposed to respond? To someone who had said something so bluntly, to those words that had been phrased in a way that seemed impossible to respond to, what was I supposed to say?

"No, you don't," I blurted out before I could stop myself. I hadn't planned to reject what he had said so easily, because after all, saying something like that would always put the other person on the spot.

To my surprise, Ichijou laughed. His eyes lightened, and they seemed back to the way they usually were—happy, content, and optimistic. "No, I'm pretty sure I do." He grinned at me, and my heart unclenched itself a bit, relaxing just slightly as things seemed to be fall back into something manageable. I was glad that we were no longer talking about it in such a serious way, if we were still talking about it at all. The worse of the worse seemed over, and the relief that flooded me was larger than a tsunami.

"You're going to regret those words," I muttered.

"Maybe," he half-agreed, "but I don't think so." Switching the subject, he asked, "Are you excited about the Winter Dance?"

All thoughts regarding the dance had fled my mind in the short but intense moment that I had been absorbed into by Ichijou, so all thoughts of the dance happening tonight resurfaced as he mentioned it. It had been aggravating to constantly hear talk and gossip regarding at first, but over the past few days, I felt like I had grown immune to all the hype that came with it, as well as the annoyance of how often it was brought up in conversation.

"Not in particular," I told him honestly. As much as I hated dressing up, however, I knew that in a deep, deep corner of my heart, I was interested as to how tonight would turn out. After all, it would be my first time attending the annual Cross Academy Winter Dance, and considering it was held every year on such grand scales, anyone's curiosity would be peeked as well.

"Look forward to it," Ichijou encouraged me, smiling kindly. The car slowed to a stop just as the sentence finished, and I turned to look out the window to where we were. From the look of the old, yet beautifully crafted buildings, I knew that we were in the very, very deep part of the town. Why we were here, however, remained a mystery to me.

Switching my attention back to Ichijou, I mumbled half-heartedly, "I'll try."

"I mean it," he laughed, opening the door to the car. Getting out first, he straightened himself out before reaching a hand out to help me down safely from the high car. It was only then, after we had set our feet on the ground, that I realized he hadn't sat in the passenger seat and had remained in the back seats of the SUV to keep me company.

"Thank you," I murmured, but I wasn't sure if I was thanking him for sitting with me, or for helping me out of the car. If I wasn't sure, I knew that he wasn't, either, but he still smiled at me. Avoiding his face, I looked around me.

The first thing I noticed were the large lights that were placed in different locations, and then this was followed by the amount of people that was hustling about, carrying in their arms a variety of things that ranged from covered outfits to props, to enormous makeup cases. Some people rushed by with large rolls of paper, and others seemed to prance around with a little bit of everything.

Then my eyes landed on the cameras.

"We're at—"

"Shiki's photoshoot!" Ichijou finished for me excitedly, his face glowing. He looked at me with such an eager and happy face, I tried to make myself match up to his feelings, but I knew that I was only managing to not scowl.

A woman stopped in front of Ichijou, her dark hair short and cropped. She looked at Ichijou, and then towards me. "Ichijou-san, I thought that—"

"Where's Rima?" Shiki's smooth voice cut in. He emerged through the crowd of people, his face just as impassive and expressionless as usual, but he still managed to somehow seem slightly irked. His eyebrows furrowed just slightly when he looked at Ichijou and I, but he smoothed out his expression in less than a second.

Ichijou frowned slightly as he looked at Shiki. "You know that Rima's busy, Shiki."

"Her schedule should've been cleared for this," Shiki replied, fixing the cuffs on his sleeves.

Shaking his head, the tall blond chirped, "She wasn't there, so I brought Sasaki-san instead. I think it'd work, don't you?"

Bewildered, I looked up at the grinning blond, and then to the blank-faced Shiki. A feeling of dismay started to seep into me as the wheels in my head started to turn, and I hoped desperately that they weren't thinking of what I was.

"Rima-chan's missing?" demanded the woman, her voice disbelieving and appalled. She looked up at Ichijou with wide, yet ferocious eyes. I could see the accusation in her gaze, and I was sure that neither Ichijou nor Shiki missed it, either.

"She's not at Cross Academy," the lean blond rephrased, meeting the woman's eyes straightforwardly. "I'm sorry, Ishikawa-san, but wasn't Rima scheduled for another photoshoot elsewhere today? I remember hearing about that the last time I had talked with her."

Ishikawa, whom I assumed was a manager for either Rima or Shiki—or maybe even both—grimaced and reached into the inner pocket of her thick blazer, pulling out a thick agenda book with a pen strapped to its side. Flipping it open, her dark eyes scanned the small book. I wasn't sure what was written in it, but it must've been very full, because it looked as if she had to take time to decipher her own writing.

Making sure to keep my voice low, I hissed at Ichijou, "What are you _doing_?"

"It's a good idea, don't you think?" he whispered back, the smile in his voice reflecting the one on his face.

"No," I responded vehemently, my features warping into a scowl.

Quirking an eyebrow, he inquired innocently, "Why not?"

Before I could respond, Ishikawa's loud hiss of agitation interrupted. Glowering, she whipped out her cell phone and furiously punched in numbers, leaving the rest of us to watch. Placing the device near her ear, she stayed silent as the mobile on the other line rang. It seemed that whoever she was calling, however, wasn't picking their phone up, and she let out a string of colourful words.

"Can't you get into contact with her, Shiki-kun?" Ishikawa turned to the maroon-haired model, clearly frustrated at how the golden blonde girl was missing from the scene.

His eyes were indifferent. "If she isn't here now, then she isn't coming."

"Her schedule should've been cleared!" Ishikawa exclaimed, throwing her arms up into the air. "What am I supposed to tell the director? He's expecting Rima-chan to be here for the shoot."

It occurred to me that none of them seemed concerned about whether or not she was alright. They seemed more wound up about the fact that she wasn't here on the set, but the concern about her wellbeing wasn't being mentioned. I supposed that, in a way, they didn't _need_ to worry. After all, she was a vampire that could handle herself. I knew that Ishikawa was also a vampire. Perhaps Rima not showing up to photoshoots wasn't uncommon, thus not causing as much concern among them as I would expect.

However, as my eyes rested on Shiki, I knew that he was bothered by it.

Something in me throbbed, but I decided to ignore it. After all, it was only normal to be worried about a companion. They were close; of course it was natural that he was worried by her disappearance. It would be heartless for him not to be affected by it at all.

"This is why I brought Sasaki-san," Ichijou chimed in. The menacing glower that I threw at him didn't lessen the brightness on his face, but only seemed to amuse him even more.

"And you expect the director to just _accept this_?" Ishikawa's voice was laced with incredulousness. "She's not a model, Ichijou-san! Picking a random student that you know to substitute a professional model for an official fashion magazine—what are you _thinking_?"

It wasn't a time to be offended. I wasn't sure if she was implying that I didn't have the right look to be a model—maybe my physique wasn't fit for it, or my face just wasn't pretty enough to be placed in something that would be read by everyone, or maybe it was just because the word "model" didn't fit into the same sentence as "Sasaki Riku"—but I had no hard feelings as to what she was saying. I was one hundred and ten percent behind her on _not_ letting me substitute in for Rima.

"What's going on?" a loud, booming voice demanded. Shifting through swarms of moving bodies, an average-physique man wiggled his way into our little circle. He had on a bright yellow beanie, tufts of his dark hair poking out underneath, and wrinkles lined his eyes. Stubble grew along his jaw, and his face was a rosy colour from being out in the cold. His voice seemed so harsh and stern, but his facial structure was soft, matching his eyes.

"Director," Ishikawa greeted. She automatically straightened herself out, correcting her posture and running a hand through her neat hair, messing it up more instead of fixing it.

He blinked his eyes, and then looked around us. "Where's Rima-san?"

"Actually, that's the thing, Director," Ishikawa started. "Rima-chan's caught a nasty cold and can't be present for the shoot. She's currently resting at home and receiving proper treatment for her health, and she wanted to let you know that she's horribly sorry for the inconvenience and for the poor timing. She's truly upset about it."

I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at the words that left Ishikawa's lips. In a way, it didn't surprise me that she was lying about Rima's whereabouts—after all, Rima _did_ have a reputation to maintain, and to have them declare her missing out on her modelling duties due to her own personal reasons without any explanation whatsoever would definitely tarnish it—but to have executed the excuse so easily, it made me wonder if Ishikawa had been an actress before becoming manager.

There was nothing that gave away her lie, and she looked so upset about it herself, it was nearly impossible to doubt her—even _I_ was wondering if it was really a lie or if she was being honest.

"Oh, is that so?" The director's eyebrows furrowed, and his lips tilted down into a frown. Concern was evident in expression. "Is she alright?"

"Yes, she should be fine after getting a few days of rest," Ishikawa lied smoothly. "I apologize for such short-term notice. I wouldn't have even known about her condition if she hadn't collapsed this morning during our meeting."

The director's eyebrows shot up, and his frown only deepened. "She collapsed? Are you sure that she shouldn't be taken to the hospital, Ishikawa-san?"

"We already had a doctor come and check," Ishikawa reassured him, her tone of voice regretful, but relieved. "She's on an IV drip at the moment, but she's fine. She's always working too hard."

"Please, send her my regards," the director told the petite woman. "And tell her not to be too hard on herself for missing the shoot. After all, the health of everyone is much more important. Although it's disappointing, since I had been looking forward to working with the famous duo again—I suppose I can wait until next time."

Ishikawa smiled at him softly. "You're much too kind, Director."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Not at all. Now," he turned to look at Shiki, "back to business. Since the clothing brand wanted to model both men and women's clothing, I can't have you doing this photoshoot yourself. We'll need to call in a substitute. Is there anyone specific that you remember you wanted to work with, Shiki-san?"

"No," came Shiki's bland response.

"None at all?" A skeptical tone of voice was layered onto the middle-aged man's voice.

"None," confirmed the blank sapphire-orbed male.

Pursing his lips, the director sighed, a look of contemplation crossing his features. "Well, that makes it both difficult and easy. I could pick anyone I want, but I'd want it to be someone you're comfortable with. After all, I want to see _some_ form of chemistry on set. It definitely makes the photos look better—it was one of the reasons why I wanted to work with you and Rima-san. You guys seem to have so much chemistry, it's amazing."

"What about Sasaki-san?" Ichijou suggested for what felt like the millionth time, even though I knew it wasn't. I resisted the urge to turn and shove him right off his feet for bringing it up. It was as if he wanted to put me through torture, and it irritated me to no end how he was pushing me to do something like this.

A blank look crossed the director's face. "...Sasaki-san?"

"Her," Ichijou clarified, placing his hands on my shoulders and bringing me in front of him. His grip was firm, keeping me in place.

"You're a model?" he asked, surprised. "I've never seen you before."

"I'm not a model," I told him flatly. "I don't intend to be one, either." I directed a glower up to Ichijou, who looked down at me merrily.

The director's eyes were analyzing as he looked at me. "Really? Why not? It's fun. Besides, I'm sure that you'd do well."

"I have a fear of cameras," I lied.

"She's just shy," Ichijou brushed off my lie with ease, smiling flamboyantly. "Don't you think it'd work, Director? She and Shiki are friends, too, so they get along well. I think that Sasaki-san is perfect for this job. Calling in a substitute at this point would be troublesome, and I highly doubt you'd be as satisfied with those shots compared to the ones you'd get with Sasaki-san and Shiki together."

"No," I protested. "I honestly don't want to do this."

A troubled look crossed the director's face. "We can't force her to do it if she doesn't want to."

"But you don't have any problems with it?" Ichijou weaved out, his voice singing a happy tune.

He didn't even seem to think about it. "I trust your words, Ichijou-san. If you say that they'd work well together, I'll believe you. It's just a matter of whether or not the young lady is willing, yes?"

It was times like these where the trust and faith that everyone put into Ichijou gave me an immense disadvantage.

Beaming, Ichijou asked, "You'll do it, won't you, Sasaki-san?"

"Are you out of your mind?" I deadpanned. "No." I didn't want to crush his delight, but I also wasn't selfless enough to just let myself be used to please someone else. If I didn't want to do it, I wasn't going to do it. I absolutely _refused_ to model—let alone with the famous Shiki Senri—and nothing would change my mind on the matter.

"Don't think of it as modelling," Ichijou advised, like I had said yes. "I'm sure that you'll ease into it quickly, Sasaki-san."

My hands clenched together. "Didn't you hear me? I said I _wasn't_ going to do it."

"Why are you so against it? Do you have _any_ idea how many people would want to be in your very position right now?" Ishikawa reprimanded, her eyes harsh.

"Then get one of those people," I shot back, letting my eyes reflect the look that hers held.

Something ignited in her dark chocolate orbs. "We will."

Solace only had a second to fly through my system before it got slapped away by Shiki's voice. "No, we won't."

My heart seemed to stop for a moment before it restarted again more viciously. Whipping my head to turn and face him, his bright and blank cobalt gems met my agitated and distressed lilac ones. Nothing betrayed his emotions, but the fact he spoke up and refused to let them find someone else to model with him made me both flattered and angry.

Sensing my hostility, Shiki inclined his head towards the side, and he began walking away, expecting me to follow. For a moment, my feet wouldn't move. They rebelled against him, not wanting to follow him and speak with him over something so exceedingly ludicrous, but when he stopped a few steps later to look over his shoulder at me, something inside me just couldn't say no.

Not sparing a look at the blond that I knew was grinning, the seething manager, or the curious director, I moved past them to follow the indifferent model. It was silent between the two of us as we made a short walk off to the side of the area, where less people were moving around. I didn't miss how many of the people we passed had turned their heads to let their eyes linger on the seemingly oblivious male.

Reaching a spot that was isolated enough, he stopped in his footsteps and circled around to scrutinize me. I observed him with a vigilantly pokerfaced expression. Just as he wouldn't give himself away, neither would I.

I broke the silence first. "Why did you say that?"

"Say what?" his head tilted to the side slightly.

"That you weren't going to get another model," I specified curtly, not wanting to spend too much time discussing this. I wanted to be free from this already.

"That's because we're not," he notified me.

Straightening slightly, I narrowed my eyes. "You can't make that call."

"Do the shoot," he said.

"No." I stood my ground firmly, and I couldn't help but let my aggravation interlock with my words. I couldn't wrap my head around the reason why he wanted me to do the shoot with him, and although a corner of my heart hoped for one specific motive, I knew that the mere _thought_ of it was ridiculous. I wasn't going to get my hopes up, only to have them get crushed again.

"Then give me a reason," he murmured quietly. Squinting my eyes at him even more, I couldn't help but wonder how he conducted such a flippant look, yet also managed to make me feel as if he actually _cared_. It was a gift to look so monotonous and still give the opposite party such feelings. It was a gift he had that I currently _hated_.

It only confused me.

"No," I shook my head. "_You_ give _me_ a reason as to why I should do something like this. I'm not a model, Shiki. I'm not modelling material." And I truly believed that. I didn't find myself absolutely revolting to look at, but I also knew that I wasn't a drop-dead gorgeous beauty. I didn't have an aura around me that seemed suitable for modelling. The charisma that was required seemed so vast, and magnetism was something I didn't have.

"What makes you think that?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Do the shoot with me."

For what felt like the millionth time, I echoed, "No."

"Sasaki."

I didn't even try to keep the exasperation out of my voice. I didn't filter any of it out as I ground out through gritted teeth, "What part of 'no' don't you—"

"Sasaki."

Ignoring him, I ploughed on, "—_get_? I have my own reasons for not wanting to do the shoot, and _nothing_ you say will make me—"

"I'm not going to do the shoot with anyone else."

"—change my—" I stopped. I had been speaking over him, refusing to let him break my heated argument on why I wasn't going to do it, but his words had overlapped mine, and I heard them clearly. Dumbfounded, I could only gawk at him with slightly widened eyes.

Silence kissed us, and his eyes didn't flicker from mine for even a second.

My heart faltered.

"_What_?" I eventually leaked out.

Looking less than amused, he repeated, "I'm not going to do the shoot with anyone else."

"What are you _talking_ about?" I scowled at him. "You can't do the shoot alone."

"I never said I wasn't doing the shoot," he replied readily.

Frustrated due to my perplexity, I scolded, "Then don't say you're not going to do the shoot."

"I never said that," he sighed.

"Yes you did," I glowered at him. This was starting to get too—I didn't have any words to describe it. I didn't like the way he was confusing me, nor did I like the way I was letting myself be confused by him.

Shaking his head slightly, a strand of dark mahogany hair fell into his eyes. "I'll do the shoot." A pause. "But only with you."

Once again, his words left me utterly speechless. My heart seemed stop for a moment before it started leaping and dancing in my chest. I wanted to yell at myself for letting his measly words affect me so greatly, but I couldn't find enough anger inside me to do so. All I could feel was the warm sensation in the deep pit of stomach slowly crawling up and making me feel all fuzzy.

He shouldn't be saying these things. It was so unfair.

"I—" I couldn't find the right words to form my thoughts, and my sentence was stopped with that one word.

His eyes fell to the floor for a brief moment, but even though he wasn't looking at me, I still left like it was hard to breathe.

When he looked up again, his eyes glinted. "Don't be an idiot. Your insecurities—" he paused for a moment, choosing to ignore my contorted expression, before continuing, "just leave them."

"You say that so easily," I managed to get out.

His eyes seemed to have a gravitational pull to them, because I felt like I was being captured and reeled in. "Be my partner."

I wasn't going to say yes. I hadn't planned on agreeing. Despite every word that left his mouth, and no matter how my heart stuttered before, I had still kept firm with my belief of rejecting this odd job to substitute for Rima. And yet, as he reached out his hand and looked at me with such eyes that conveyed so much, yet so little, I could feel my defences crumbling around me.

He knew it.

It was absolutely unjust. The hold that he had on me was so, so unfair.

The resolve that I had built up shattered so easily with just a simple action. I felt so angry at myself for being so weak and letting myself give in, but a part of me was a tad bit happy. In a way, it made me feel like we were actually getting closer—that, somehow, maybe, by some twist of fate, something would work out and I would be able to stay with him.

And it was this very part of me that I despised the most.

I asked him warily, "How can you just replace Rima-senpai like this for a professional shoot? I'm sure the brand that you're endorsing will protest."

"They won't," he assured me blankly.

"You don't know that," I countered. At this point, I knew that all I was doing was grasping at loose straws. I was just trying to find any excuse at all to not participate in this shoot, no matter how pathetic and weak the excuse was.

Shiki let out a sigh. "Sasaki."

A hush fell between us for a few heartbeats, and then I followed his sigh with one of my one. Reluctantly, I reached out and wrapped my hand briefly around his fingers, not quite holding his hand, yet not keeping him hanging, either. His hand was cold to the touch, and even though all I wanted to do was hold his hand properly, I released my hold on him after a short moment.

"What do I need to do?" I muttered, looking at him. When I did, my heart fluttered in my chest. It could've been my imagination, since it had been gone in just a second, but the image of it would always be engraved into my mind.

The ghost of his smile.

* * *

Sighing, I looked at myself in the large mirror that had been placed inside the van that contained the outfits for the shoot. I had to admit, the clothing was amazing. Not only were they designed beautifully, but they were also comfortable and the material was able to keep you warm in winter's harsh weather.

Currently, I was clad in a loose sweater dress in the shade of ivory, the ends of it reaching just a bit past mid-thigh. There was no dipping neckline, but instead, it was almost like a turtleneck, just looser. Along the right side of the dress was the familiar diamond pattern you'd often see on sweater vests, the diamonds alternating between pale pink and light beige. The design started just below the sleeve and only ended at the very end of the dress. Boots without heels ornamented my feet, stretching up to knees. They were the colour of golden sand, and black socks were pulled up an inch or two above the boots so that they were seen.

As the cosmetic lady came in to retouch up my makeup—something that they didn't use too much of, surprisingly—I couldn't help but wonder if all photoshoots were like this.

Shiki and I had been modelling for a while now. In fact, the outfit I was currently wearing was our second last costume for the shoot. Although I didn't voice it aloud nor show it, I was incredibly nervous when Shiki and I returned back to the trio with the news. Ichijou, of course, had been ecstatic, while Ishikawa seemed to be the complete opposite. The director—Mori June—had been intrigued, but open to the idea, and he had explained to me the basis of the shoot.

The nervousness and apprehension I felt when I had first gotten into the van to change had been engulfing me. I would have had an internal breakdown if Ichijou and Shiki hadn't popped in and given me some advice. Somehow, they managed to calm the jitters that had been in my stomach.

I had always thought that, when doing something like a photoshoot, the director would be telling you exactly where to stand and what expression should be on your face. I expected Mori to be shouting orders at me, telling me where to look, how to tilt my head, how to position my body. Yet, when I had first come out of the van in the new outfit and had gotten everything done, he took us to where we were supposed to be, and then said, "Do your thing."

Of course, I had been extremely baffled. Shiki seemed to understand, though, and we had just spent a lot of time talking and playing around. Instead of forcing us into specific positions, he had just taken photos of us acting naturally.

It befuddled me.

I was almost certain that during these types of things, specific instructions were to be given out and followed. With Mori, however, the word "directions" hardly seemed to be in his vocabulary. It was rare for him to tell us how to pose, and he just let us do what we wanted. Despite not receiving any instructions, however, Shiki seemed to know exactly what to do. I merely followed his lead, letting him help me along.

"Alright, you're good to go," the hair stylist told me with a grin after pulling my curled hair into a side ponytail and securing it with bobby pins.

Nodding my head politely in thanks, I exited the van. I made my way to the place where we'd be shooting next. We had taken shots in the forest and in a restaurant, and this time, we were taking it along the streets of the town, near a park with a playground.

Upon seeing Shiki already there speaking with Mori, I quickened my pace to meet up with them. They both turned to look at me as I appeared, Shiki with his usual blank expression while Mori was smiling at me.

"Alright, so here—I already explained this to Shiki-san. This time, it's going to be a couple concept. It doesn't really matter what you do, as long as it fits the whole, 'we're in love and on a date' kind of thing."

I had choked when a specific word left his lips. "_Couple_ concept?"

Mori beamed. "Excited?"

"No," I answered honestly, horrified. I didn't want to do something like that with Shiki. Not for something like _this_, at the very least. I didn't want to get a taste of what it'd be like, being his significant other, and then realize that it was all for show. It would get my hopes up, it would send my heart into a flurry of butterflies, and then I would start to _think_ things. I didn't want to let my heart get beat down so easily, which is why I wanted to avoid doing the shoot in the first place, but to do something like a _couple concept_—it was terrifying to think about.

A laugh escaped the man's lips. "Just have fun with it."

"But I don't—" my objection was cut off by Shiki, who muffled my mouth with his hand. I glowered at him, but he was unaffected by it.

"Let's start," the ocean-eyed male deadpanned, not waiting for a response as he started dragging me away. I knew that it was futile to resist, but that didn't mean I didn't try and shake him off. I succeeded in having his hand move from my mouth, allowing me to speak.

"_Never_," I spat, "do that again."

His pace halted, and he turned sharply to look at me. The movement was so sudden and so surprising, I couldn't help my natural instinct to move back slightly. He placed an index finger to his lips, his head tilted slightly to the side. His expression was just as vacant as always, but a thin layer of an emotion lingered. It bothered me slightly that I couldn't decipher which emotion.

Letting out a soft sigh, I nodded my head to tell him I understood. One of the rules that Mori set down clearly and emphasized millions of times was that talking during the shoot was unacceptable. He highlighted that no words should leave our lips during the shoot, because we were supposed to communicate with each other through our expressions and our actions. The only words that were to be spoken between us were silent ones.

His eyes locked with mine briefly, and then they shifted away as he reached out a hand. There was still uncertainty in my movements as I slowly placed my hand in his, letting his fingers wrap around mine. The two of us walked together, with him just a step in front, and I couldn't help but admire the way his pale skin matched so nicely with his crimson-brown hair.

Due to my surprise at the concept for this specific section, I hadn't been able to properly see what Shiki had been dressed in. The taller-than-average male had been dressed up in a black blazer with silver buttons. The collar had been lined with a light grey, the logo of the brand imprinted on the right sleeve, where the bicep of a person's arm was. Underneath, he wore a dark navy blue and black striped v-neck, a white tie loosely hanging messily around his neck. A pair of dark blue jeans covered his long legs, followed by a pair of blindingly white dress shoes that somehow managed to look casual.

My heart was beating faster than usual, and I hoped that he couldn't hear it.

A strong gust of wind blew by suddenly, the glacier touch to it kissing my exposed skin, revealing goosebumps. It teased at our hair and at our clothes, and I brushed away at the hair that got in my face, trying to ignore the cold. The dress itself was capable to keep the person warm in mildly cold weather, but it wasn't meant to be worn alone in harsher conditions like today.

He stopped walking, causing me to stop as well. Disappointment ate at me when he let go of my hand, but I kept my expression empty. Not looking at me, Shiki began to unbutton the buttons of his blazer while I could only watch him, bewildered. I wanted to ask him what he was doing, but I bit down on my tongue. I felt like if I disobeyed the rules and did something wrong, it wouldn't be tarnishing what people thought of me, but of _him_.

He took his blazer off easily, and in one quick, swift motion, he fluidly placed the blazer around my shoulders. Immediately, I opened my mouth to object, but upon realizing I couldn't speak to him, I gave him a scowl. I was prepared to take the blazer off and give it back to him, but he gripped the collars of the blazer and pulled them together firmly, clearly telling me to keep it on.

There was a subtle warning in his eyes, and I had no choice but to resign. After seeing the look of defeat on my face, he dropped his hands from the blazer and instead, replaced the clothed material with my hand.

We continued walking down the street, and my eyes would always dart back to him. Although I wouldn't say it aloud, I was worried about how he was holding up. The shirt he wore underneath his blazer wasn't that thick, and albeit I knew it was due to his vampire nature, his incredibly pale skin still made me feel as if he was frail.

His blazer hung on my shoulders, keeping me warm. I didn't button it up or place my arms through the sleeves, but instead left it the way it was. I knew that it looked enormous on me, and I wondered if this messed up the shoot, or if he had only done it _for_ the shoot.

As we neared a park, I couldn't help but notice the swings. A sense of longing overcame me, and before I knew what I was doing, my feet picked up their pace, and I ended up pulling Shiki along with me towards the small park. I could feel his penetrating gaze on the back of my head, but I chose to ignore it as I approached the area with the swings.

Reaching them, I took a seat on one. Shiki, still holding my hand, didn't take a seat on the one next to me, but chose to stand beside me as I gently rocked the seat back and forth, my free hand gripping loosely on the icy metal chain.

I wasn't sure why, but I loved swings.

Was it the calming feeling I got when I swayed on them? Maybe. But being on swings made me feel kind of sad, too.

If only I knew why.

A moment passed, and then Shiki let go of my hand, which automatically moved to grip the other chain, and he moved to stand behind me. Knowing what he was going to do, I shook my head without turning to look at him. I didn't like being pushed when on swings—it always bothered me.

Tilting my head back to look up at the sky, I had only gotten a brief glimpse of the grey clouds before they were replaced by clear sapphires and wisps of wild maroon hair. His hands, which were holding onto the two chains as well, lightly grazed against mine, and his face was so close, I wondered if he knew the way my heart jumped to my throat.

We just stared at each other.

And, to me, it felt like we were the only ones in the world.

* * *

**A/N :**

Okay, yes, so that was the sixteenth chapter. JUST SO YOU GUYS KNOW, THAT WAS, LIKE, THREE OF MY REGULAR CHAPTERS COMBINED. NO JOKES. Generally, my chapters are usually seven pages long. THAT WAS TWENTY SOMETHING. Just, you know. Normally, I would've ended it at the... end of the dream? But that felt _so_ cruel, and it just didn't seem right to have an entire chapter on _just_ a dream. How lame would that have been? I swear, if I were you guys, and I had ended it at _just_ the dream, I would've hunted myself down.

Okay, the **question** this time that I have for all of you would be...

**Do you think that the story is progressing too slow?**

And, to be honest, what you guys say might not sway my mind, because I started this story wanting to spend a lot of time on it, and wanting to develop Shiki and Riku's relationship. It never crossed my mind _even once_ for them to just jump right into a relationship after they met or something, do you know what I mean? I think that Shiki is a complicated character, and because of this, I just _can't_ imagine rushing this relationship between Riku and Shiki. They need time to understand each other, because no matter how it may seem now, what they have can't be described as love, right? They had only met for a while-she's just crushing on him. I want to take my time and have their relationship grow, but I'm also curious as to what you guys think on this subject as well. Please, feel free to send me paragraphs and paragraphs on what you think! Leave it in a review for me, send me a private message, whatever it is. HAHA. I'm honestly curious, and I'd definitely love to hear all your thoughts on this subject, so... YEAH.

SUPER SPECIAL THANKS TO... :

**I'm Plotting Something Evil, unknown player, shatteredxcrystals, Princesa de la Luna, , Jehssicka, pennotes, Water, moonlightshadowsx, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, AngelOfAnime97, BakaBlack13, AliceMarieSwan, ArisuNoKirasama, xX-UltraEMo-Xx, madz, magicdemi-god223, Rosa Rukia, demoncat13, xKurenaiBara, camille, momo, x-Lure, Girugamesh, Ninja99, In-A-World-Of-Black-And-White, Lianne Sabrina, x3sYellowie, Lizzie, Trance20666, xMidnight Rose J12x, Sakura Waldorf, Eien no Akumu, and Youknowwhothisis**

And to all those who alerted and favourited, thank you so much for your support as well!

I actually recognize some of you... LOL. Like, I'd be checking my inbox, and I'd see your usernames, and I'd be like, "OH, LOOK, THEY REVIEWED AGAIN~!" Some of you have been reviewing often enough for me to notice- AND TRUST ME, I NOTICE. HAHA. So, yeah...

**Just so you guys are aware of this, I honestly **_**do**_** read each and every single review.** And, confession? I read them more than once. I'm not lying when I say that what you guys write to me helps me write the next chapter of this story. What you guys say is what motivates me to write, and the support you guys show is what keeps me going.

A lot of you guys alert and favourite, so thank you~ But if you guys have the time, drop me a review, too, alright? (: Because when you just alert and favourite, I know that you're reading, but I'm not hearing your thoughts on the story, and I'd _love_ to know what you guys think. HAHA. Of course, I'm not saying you guys _have_ to review, since it's a matter of choice, but I'd appreciate it greatly. I want to know what my readers thinks, so that I can improve on my writing so that you guys don't need to read disappointing stuff.

Anything's fine, really, I just want to hear your thoughts. I don't bite. LOL. Love it, hate it, despise it, loathe it, dream about it... Share with me what you guys think in a review or in a private message or something. HAHA. BUT, YEAH, YOU GUYS. It doesn't matter if it's, like, three words- COUGHCOUGH"ILOVEIT"COUGHCOUGH-or, you know, PUKEPUKE"IHATEIT"PUKEPUKE-just... Yeah.

Tell me what you guys think in your reviews and stuff (:

I don't think that the next chapter will take as long to update... Or, well, it won't take me longer than five months, I swear. 'Cause I've already got a vague idea of how I want the next chapter to go, so it's really just a matter of planning it all out and sorting it out and then writing it... And then getting it the way I want it, editing, and etc, etc... BUT YEAH. I SWEAR, NO LONGER THAN FIVE MONTHS. I'm hoping to get it done by CHRISTMAS, so look forward to it! And, just so you know, the next chapter probably _won't_ contain the Winter Dance. _That_ will be chapter eighteen... Or, at least, I think so. HAHA.

I'm talking a lot, but it's been so long, I just can't stop... LOL. Sorry, you guys.

I hope I didn't disappoint you guys with this chapter... And, once again, thank you to all. I love you guys 3

Sayonara,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	17. What I Want to See of You

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or anything you may- and even some things you don't- recognize.**

**A / N:**

YOOOOO, guys! I've been writing like crazy the past few days- I'm not even joking. HAHA. So I got this up a bit earlier than I expected. I really hadn't been planning to update until, like, Christmas... BUT WHOA, ISN'T THIS AMAZING? I updated in less than five months, like I said I would! (:

You guys have no idea how much fun I had writing this chapter. HAHA. I loved it~ I'd have to say this is my favourite chapter so far. -SHOT-

And since I had so much fun writing it, I hope that you guys will love and enjoy it as well!

Also, thank you for everyone that's still supporting me! I'm really grateful to you guys, and I loved reading your reviews! Please continue to support me, mmkay?

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER S_E_V_E_N_T_E_E_N :**

_"What I Want to See of You"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-ONE [ CONTINUED, PART 2 ]

* * *

It was around five in the evening by the time we finished, and at this point, the sky had already darkened. Ichijou, Shiki, and I were heading towards the place where the car Ichijou and I had come in was parked, since it had been unnecessary for Ishikawa to drive Shiki back to the academy herself when he could ride with us.

Mori had been beaming when we finished the shoot, and he had mentioned something about sending me a copy of the magazine before the official release date so that I could have the first look at how the photos turned out and how it all fit together into the magazine.

"See, it wasn't all that bad, was it, Sasaki-san?" Ichijou grinned at me vibrantly.

"Changing so many times was bothersome," I voiced aloud my thoughts, not wanting to directly answer this question.

Because it had been both amazing and torturous at the same time.

Ichijou laughed, his forest eyes sparkling in the dark. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side, giving me what felt like a single-armed hug. It somewhat astonished me how open and casual Ichijou was with signs of affection. It wasn't as if I hated that part of him—au contraire, it was actually one of the many things I admired about him—but his actions still caught me off-guard.

Struck with an idea, the lights in Ichijou's emerald orbs seemed to brighten even more. "Since it's still kind of early, why don't we all go out for a while before heading back to the academy?"

"It doesn't matter," Shiki consented offhandedly. Letting his eyes fall onto me, he inquired, "Are you busy, Sasaki-san?"

"I have to meet up with Yuuki at six-ten or so," I informed them. The brunette beauty had been so excited for tonight, she had been bursting with energy earlier this morning. Her crimson eyes had been so bright, I knew that Zero couldn't help but hate the whole event a little less. Her nervousness to dress herself up and present herself in front of Kaname didn't rub off on me though, and all I wanted to do was skip out on the entire event.

Sadly, I knew that Kaien would hunt me down and drag me to that thing if he needed to. And if he was too angry at me to do so, he'd definitely send someone else. I didn't even want to _think_ about what the man would do if I didn't show up for the dance.

Knowingly, Ichijou nodded his head. "To prepare yourself for the dance, right? I'm looking forward to seeing you there. Did you have fun picking out your dress?"

I almost twitched. "The words 'fun' and 'dress' can't be put into the same sentence, Ichijou-senpai."

"Most girls love to do that sort of stuff, though," the blond murmured.

"Sasaki's odd," Shiki offered his agreement.

"As if _you're_ so normal," I threw back.

A pause. "Touché."

At this point, we were just wandering the streets of the town. It was fairly dark, but there were still many people strolling along the sidewalk, chatter and laughter filling the air around us. Observing everything around me, something important that I had forgotten had me stopping in my tracks, horrified that I even forgot.

Concerned, Ichijou looked down at me. "What's the matter, Sasaki-san?"

Knocked speechless at my own forgetfulness, I wanted to slam my head into a nearby wall. How could I have forgotten—? "It's almost Christmas!"

The eyebrows of the kind blond shot up to his hairline, and Shiki stared at me with a bored expression that somehow managed to convey incredulity.

"You _forgot_?" There was horror in Ichijou's voice. "About _Christmas_?"

"Unbelievable," Shiki muttered under his breath.

A dinosaur of urgency and panic rampaged through me, and the wheels in my mind began to turn furiously as I tried desperately to figure out what I was going to get everyone. The list of people I needed to get presents for wasn't long at all, but it wasn't a problem of _who_ I was getting the presents for, but _what_ I was going to get them.

Kaien, Yuuki, Zero, Ichijou, Shiki—my thought process broke into blankness as I comprehended what I had just thought. Their two names had rippled into my head so easily, so naturally, they fit right in with Kaien's and Yuuki's and Zero's. There wasn't even a slight hesitation to their names, they just flowed into my brain.

And it scared me.

At this point, I knew that it was inevitable. I knew, I knew, I _knew_.

They already _meant_ something.

And it was so, _so_ hard...

"While we're in town, why don't we do some shopping?" Ichijou suggested, wanting to help me out with my present dilemma.

I wanted to tell him that it was unnecessary, because it prevented me from getting _them_ anything without them figuring it out, but then I thought about the family that _wasn't_ here, and I found myself nodding my head. "If it's not too much trouble."

"Not at all," he smiled warmly, "it'll be fun."

"Is that what you think? Shopping for presents is torture," I deadpanned, my lavender eyes scanning the bright display windows of the stores that we passed. What to get Yuuki wasn't very hard to decide on, as she loved many things, and Kaien would be pleased with anything. Zero, on the other hand, was a different matter. The stoic and easily annoyed silver-haired male was unbelievably hard to shop for, and I remembered back in the past that I had spent days, or even _weeks_, before special events to brood over what to get him.

Ichijou, once again, seemed appalled at what I had said. "But—"

"She's right," Shiki agreed in monotone, interrupting what the green-eyed male would have said. The maroon-haired model and I exchanged glances, silently sharing our exasperation with present-shopping. It was atrocious to have to contemplate over what to get someone, not knowing if they'd like it or not, or if they'd like something else better.

"You guys just need to look at things more positively," the optimist chided lightly. We passed by a group of girls, and I could hear their hushed whispering as they gawked at the two undeniably attractive men with me. It was uncomfortable, because I knew that they were also wondering why someone like _me_ was with people like _them_.

Spotting a store that I knew Yuuki loved to visit often, I grasped the handle on the door and pushed, the sounds of bells ringing informing the employees of our arrival. Entering the store, I already knew what I was going to buy, and where to buy it.

I hadn't even been aware that Ichijou still had an arm around my shoulders until I hurried down a specific aisle without him, my shoulders feeling a lot lighter and colder now that the warmth he provided had disappeared.

"Sasaki," there was a slight complaint in Shiki's tone of voice as he travelled through the maze-like structure of the store.

Amusement coloured Ichijou's voice, "I never knew that you were interested in these sorts of things."

"I'm not," I told them plainly, wondering if he was in his right mind. We were currently inside a large store that was piled from the floor to the ceiling in plushies of all shapes and sizes. There were some that hung in plastic bags on the ceilings, and some that looked like they were about to fall off the shelves due to the abundance of them. The vibrant colours of all the different plushies made the entire room seem like a chaotic mess of colours, but it also made it seem very bright, as well.

Tilting my head back, I looked up at the specific stuffed object that I remembered Yuuki looking at longingly the last time we had been together, and I reached up for it. However, it was on one of the higher shelves, and while I wasn't short, I wasn't quite tall enough to get my hands on it. I frowned, trying again, only to be unsuccessful.

A pair of pale and slender hands reached out and seized the bagged plushie gently, bringing it down from the shelf. "This one?" I could tell he was questioning what I saw in it.

"I don't in particularly like these things. Yuuki wanted it," I cleared up, taking it from him. "Thanks."

Shiki nodded his head in response, his eyes flickering down to the plushie. "I... Can imagine her delight over it."

"It _is_ cute," I admitted impassively, heading towards the cashier. "It's just a bit strange." I looked around, my eyebrows furrowing. "Where'd Ichijou-senpai go?"

"He had something to take care of." Shiki's eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"What is it?" I knew that something was up. "The thing that's so important that Ichijou-senpai couldn't spare a second to say goodbye for."

A sigh, and then Shiki stepped closer to me. Automatically, I took a step back, wondering what he was doing. However, at the look that he gave me, I knew that backing away hadn't been what he wanted me to do. Understanding, I stood my ground as he stepped closer again, putting less than a foot of space between us.

He kept his voice low, so quiet that I could hardly hear him. "Something felt strange after the shoot. We didn't want to alarm you, since it could have been a false alarm, but Ichijou-san wanted to confirm it."

I finished the rest of the explanation off for him. "And then, just a moment ago, you felt the presence of it. The Level E."

Our eyes met for only a second, and then those crystalline sapphires shifted away. "Yes."

"And you're here playing bodyguard?" My voice was back to its regular volume, as the secretive part of the conversation was over. Regular humans wouldn't think much deeper into what I said, thinking I meant it in a different way. Once again, I began heading towards the cash register.

Shiki followed behind me. "If that's how you'd like to perceive it."

"I don't need one." There was a spot of defiance in my otherwise uncaring voice.

"Is spending time with me that awful?" he inquired, blinking his eyes at me in a way that seemed so innocent. Yet he was _such_ a devil on the inside, because he knew that he was putting me on the spot with a question like that.

I was contemplating how to answer, or if to answer at all, when I reached the cashier. It was a pretty female with white-blonde hair tied up into a high ponytail. Her eyes were wide and rimmed with dark eyeliner, making them look bigger, and her pink lips were full, her skin flawless. Her eyes widened upon seeing Shiki, her mouth dropping open.

"A-Are you—" she paused, her high soprano voice wavering. It was clear that she was extremely nervous, and when Shiki turned his eyes on her, she let out a squeak. The female worker next to her, who was also extremely pretty with her short black hair and grey eyes, let out a loud squeal.

"Shiki Senri?" the black-haired girl was absolutely beaming. Her smile was so wide, it looked like it was going to break apart her face if it spread even a millimetre larger. "We're such huge fans! You looked absolutely amazing in last month's fall catalogue!"

The white-blonde beauty seemed to regain her voice. "Yes!" Stars were in her ocean eyes as she looked at the pokerfaced maroon-haired model. "You look incredibly handsome in all your shoots! The charisma that you radiate—it's so strong. We're both huge fans of Shima."

"Shima?" Shiki tilted his head to the side slightly, just a tad of confusion tainting his voice.

Their eyes widened.

"Don't you know?" The grey-eyed one asked him, sounding both surprised and appalled. "It's what everyone calls you and Rima. A combination of Shiki and Rima, turning into Shima. It's what fans that love the two of you together call you two."

I couldn't conceal my astonishment at this point. Perhaps it was because I had never been absorbed in the world of models and of celebrities and all that, but they had combined Shiki and Rima's name to form a combination of the two? Admittedly, it sounded pretty decent, but for it to be universally known is what surprised me. Maybe I had been living under a rock for much too long.

"... I see," Shiki said slowly. "I'm sure you know Rima and I are merely close friends."

"Is that so?" The shorter of the two, the black-haired one, murmured softly, disappointment evident in her tone. "But you guys look so good together."

"Sorry to disappoint you," Shiki apologized, but he didn't sound sorry at all. I wanted to smack him silly—didn't he know that he could be giving them a bad impression of him? They could spread this around and ruin his good reputation.

But they didn't look hurt at his blasé attitude at all. Instead, they seemed even more overjoyed with it, as they let out loud squeals that could've shaken the store.

"If it's not too much to ask, can we have your autograph? And a picture?" The blonde asked him hopefully, clasping her hands in front of her face in a pleading motion.

"Ah... Sure," Shiki consented, and they let out shrieks of happiness. I saw him wince slightly, and I wanted to smirk. At times like these, the enhanced senses he had as a vampire didn't work in his favour. The two females didn't even seem to be aware that I existed as they grabbed something—anything, by the looks of it—that he could sign, and they managed to find a thick marker after rummaging around.

Taking the marker in his hand, he uncapped it and signed the two sheets of wrapping paper that the girls took from behind the counter, used to wrap up items customers wanted to be given as gifts. After handing it to them, they took out their phones and snapped a few pictures. I could tell that they were shaking in excitement, standing so close to him. Hearts were beating in their eyes, and they looked like they were going to burst from happiness.

"Thank you so much!" the two of them chimed together loudly, unable to keep their voices down due to their high feelings.

"No, don't mention it." Whether or not he noticed them sighing dreamily at his response wasn't clear to me, but then he lifted his arm and checked his watch. Looking at me, he said, "Sasaki, if you want to look around some more, we need to hurry."

I wanted to ask him _whose_ fault it was, exactly, that the time passed the way it did, but I bit down on my tongue. Instead, I settled for a glare aimed in his direction, clearly passing on my feelings about the situation towards him, and then placed the plushie that I wanted to buy onto the counter for the girls to ring up for me.

The two girls turned to look at me, as if only _just_ aware of my existence. I could tell from their expressions that they were wondering just how in the world I knew Shiki. Their eyes were judging as they darted from my face to what I was wearing, and then to Shiki. I already knew the thoughts that were running through their heads, and I wanted to _break_ something.

I hated it; having them look at me like that. I didn't want them to look at me and wonder, "What's someone like _her_ doing with someone like _Shiki Senri_?" because it just reminded me of what I already knew I didn't have. I knew that I wasn't good enough to be walking around in public with him, or be associated with him, but I didn't want constant reminders of it.

It made me feel so inferior. It made me feel so _hurt_, even though I knew it was just my feelings being irrational. I couldn't even be put up in comparison to someone like Rima, who was so, _so_ beautiful, and who suited Shiki so, _so_ well. They had people rooting for their romance, and they were inseparable. They depended on each other, they meant something special to one another whether they admitted it or not, and it was because of this that being with Shiki hurt a lot. It was because I was constantly reminded of how he is when he's with her, and how I couldn't _be_ her.

Being with Shiki felt wrong, but it always felt like everything was right in the world. It didn't make any sense, but that was what it was like. Even though I felt like dirt underneath his shoe when I was with him, and even though I felt like the only thing I did was bring him down, I always wanted to stay with him, even if it was for a second longer. Briefly, I wondered... Was that so wrong?

A gentle hand on my head broke me out of my reverie, and I blinked out the haziness of my surroundings. Shiki was looking down at me with unfathomable eyes, but the corners of his lips were tilted down just a bit. If I hadn't been observing him closely for so long, I wouldn't have noticed the slight change in his expression.

"Sasaki, are you listening?" I knew that that wasn't what he wanted to ask, though.

"Sorry," I muttered, avoiding his eyes. "What happened?"

There was a heartbeat of silence where his gaze pierced into my cheek, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him after having that mini self-pity party. "It's sixty-eight dollars and twenty-seven cents."

Nodding my head, I lightly swatted his hand away from my head. I noticed from the corner of my eyes that he placed both his hands into the pockets of his sweats, and I sighed internally before I reached into the pocket of my jeans for my wallet.

I froze.

Since I hadn't _planned_ to go into town this morning, I hadn't taken anything with me except for my dorm keys and my cell phone. I had thought I would be stuck helping out with the Winter Dance preparations, so I hadn't seen a need to bring anything else. To think that Ichijou would come and drag me out here—I would've never expected it. I didn't have my wallet on me, meaning I couldn't pay for the present, which meant that this was all pointless. I felt waves of both embarrassment and stupidity wash over me.

How could I have forgotten something as significant as not having money on me?

Just as I was about to tell Shiki to forget it, he pulled out his wallet from the pocket of his sweats. I watched, just like the two cashiers, in complete mystification as he pulled out the money and handed it to them. It took them a moment to take it and punch it into the cash register.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, making sure to keep my voice neutral even though I was half-seething, half-relieved.

"Paying," he stated the obvious.

Lavender eyes narrowed into a glower. "Why?"

"You need it, right?" Shiki didn't wait for a response, and he accepted the change. He didn't even hesitate as he placed all of the money into the small donation box towards charity that had been placed next to the cashier. Turning back to the blonde, he asked, "Do you mind wrapping it for me?"

"Shiki!" I protested, scowling deeply at him. I grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at me. "Stop. I'll get it next time, since I need to come back anyways." I didn't want him to pay for me, because not only was this just plain weird, but it was something for Yuuki. It wouldn't mean anything if I didn't get it for her myself—this way, it was as good as _his_ present to her.

"We're already here," he pointed out flatly. Somehow, he seemed to understand the reason I didn't want him to pay though, and he flicked my forehead. "Pay me back later."

"Why you—" I scowled at him, lightly touching the slightly aching spot on my forehead where he had hit me. However, as our eyes met, the slight aggravation I had for him melted away, and I found myself muttering a quiet, "Okay."

My eyes shifted to the side, avoiding his handsome face. It was absolutely unfair. He had so much power over me, and he probably knew it. If not, he was still using it to his advantage so well.

I wasn't sure how my heart was supposed to take all of this—his kindness, the way he seemed to actually _care_, how he was one of the people I felt like I could actually trust with everything... It was such an overwhelming feeling.

The black-haired girl asked Shiki, "Which wrapping paper and ribbon would you like us to use?" She gestured towards the square samples that were plastered on the wall behind them, many different designs shown. A large variety of ribbons were also hung and displayed.

Turning to look at me, Shiki inclined his head towards the wall, telling me to choose. My eyes scanned the designs, eventually finding one that I figured that Yuuki would be happy with, and I pointed it out to the girls. The two of them started to gather what they needed in order to wrap the relatively large plushie, and it was quiet between all of us as they started on it.

They kept looking at me. I could tell that they were curious and they were itching to ask either Shiki or I some sort of question. Their mouths kept opening and closing, and they looked like they were going to die if they didn't ask, but they just couldn't bring themselves to.

Sighing, I had enough. "What is it?"

"W-What?" they stammered simultaneously, clearly surprised that I had broken the silence.

"You want to say something." It wasn't a question.

They were both exceptionally flustered, and their faces burned a bright red. Their hands shook slightly, and their eyes darted around fretfully.

"W-Well," the black-haired girl stuttered, her eyes shifting between Shiki and I. "W-We were just wondering... Um, are you two... By any chance... Dating?"

Even though I had suspected that those were the thoughts running through their head, it still surprised me. "_What_?" The incredulity was clear in my tone, and the girls' eyes widened, their faces flushing an even darker shade of red.

"S-Sorry if we're butting into your business," the blonde stammered.

"It's not—_Shiki and I_?" I repeated, the surprise clear in my tone. I didn't look at Shiki, because I was too scared of what his expression would be. Would he think it was ludicrous, too? Would he look revolted? "What makes you think that someone like _him_ and someone like _me_—?" I broke my own sentence off, not wanting to fall back into my self-loathing festival.

Grey eyes met my lavender ones, and she said, "It's just—you guys seem to be... I mean, forgive me for saying so, but you two seem to have some sort of deep connection, and it's obvious you two have chemistry. The way you two look at each other—"

"We're not dating," Shiki interrupted, a slight edge to his voice. From the corner of my eyes, I could tell his body was tense and taut, and I felt my heart throb painfully in my chest, though I should've expected it. After all, Shiki and I weren't anything more than friends, and even then, the term was being used loosely.

"W-We're so sorry!" the two girls bowed as they said this, clearly distressed at what had just happened. The atmosphere was thick and uptight as they worked on wrapping the plushie, their hands moving quickly and efficiently.

A sigh escaped my lips, and I resisted the urge to place a hand over my heart to try and quench the painful pounding that was there. If I were to be honest with myself, I would have to confess that I wanted her to finish that sentence. The possible answers gnawed at me, making me wonder what she was going to say to finish such a sentence.

It confused and intrigued me—what _about_ the way we looked at each other? We looked at each other the way we did with expressions that mirrored each others'. Blankness. Emptiness. Reservation. His eyes, like mine, were always oh-so-carefully vacant, a barrier set up to block out all emotion so that no weakness would show. So that nobody would want to venture in, so that nobody could weave themselves into our thoughts.

What was so special about looks like those?

There was no in particular expression that I looked at Shiki with that I didn't with others, and Shiki looked at me with the same eyes, same pokerface as he did with everyone else as well. I didn't understand what she was talking about, and it troubled me.

"We're finished," they announced, breaking the silence that had settled around us.

"Thank you." I took the wrapped gift into my arms, then looked at Shiki. "Do we still have time?"

"No," he responded. He nodded towards the two females, both of whom looked like they were going to faint.

Quickly, they exclaimed, "It was really nice meeting you, Shiki-sama! It's been a great honour, and thank you so much for your kindness!"

"Not at all." Gliding towards the exit soundlessly, he grabbed my arm gently as he passed me, ignoring my confused look. We travelled out of the store quickly and hurried down the street. Hastily, he turned a corner to go down a dark and eerie alley. It gave me the chills, and it seemed a lot colder here, but Shiki hardly seemed to be aware of it.

"Shiki, what're you—"

"Found you," he murmured quietly. I was about to ask him what he was talking about, but he bit into his free hand's index finger, his blood forming a long whip in the next second. It was then that I saw it—a Level E vampire hiding in the shadows. Before I could even blink, Shiki had slammed it into a wall, the whip wrapped around the shrieking vampire's neck.

The loud shrills that escaped from her lips were suddenly cut off, and only choking sounds were heard as she tried to get more air into her lungs. My eyes darted to look at Shiki, whom looked unfazed in the least. Sensing my eyes on him, he flicked me a glance.

"Look away."

Understanding what was going to happen next, I complied without complaint and turned my head to the side, making sure to keep my gaze glued to the cracking cement floor. Even though I didn't see it, I could hear the sound of the air being disturbed as Shiki decapitated it. The sound of dust falling filled the air around us.

Silence.

His grip on my arm tightened just slightly. "Sasaki?"

"I'm fine," I responded, lifting my eyes up from the floor. I turned my eyes to him, but he was looking down the alley, an unreadable look on his face.

"Shiki! Sasaki-san!" Ichijou's voice rang out in the darkness, and the two of us turned to watch as he tall blond emerged out of the darkness, his sword in his hands. There wasn't a speck of dust or dirt on him, and his hair was still neatly in place. Against the shadows, his eyes seemed to glow a vibrant green, but there was a troubling mist in them. "Good," he sighed, "you're both okay."

Shiki's eyes analyzed the blond. "You look fine as well."

"Oh, don't worry about me," the tall male said offhandedly. "Sorry that I left so abruptly, Sasaki-san. I was sure that you'd understand if Shiki explained the situation to you, though."

"It's fine," I assured him. A frown tugged on my lips as I asked, "Why did it take you so long though, Ichijou-senpai?"

He and Shiki exchanged glances.

"There..." Ichijou paused, like he was trying to phrase it properly. "Well, there was more than just one or two, and they all scattered, so I had to find them."

A feeling of dread oozed into my stomach. "How many were there?"

"It's nothing to worry yourself over," Ichijou evaded the question.

I turned to Shiki. "How many?"

He paused, unsure of whether or not to answer. Glancing at Ichijou for a second, and then down at me, he settled for a, "Roughly eight."

Surprised, I stared. "_Eight_?"

"It's unusual for so many to be out," Ichijou excogitated aloud. "It's _possible_ that it's a mere coincidence, but..."

"But you should report to Kuran as soon as possible." I completed the sentence where he had left off.

Ichijou nodded his head in confirmation. He turned around in a circle, taking in our surroundings. When he made a full rotation back to where he had been before, he said, "We're pretty far from the car. Getting to the academy will be faster using a shortcut and just running."

"I'll go," Shiki offered, taking a step towards the direction of the shortcut.

Shaking his head, Ichijou smiled. "It's okay, Shiki, I can do it. It's probably better if Kaname hears it from me, since I was the one who encountered most of them. You can give your report on the single Level E you encountered when you get back using the car."

The cobalt-eyed model nodded. "Alright."

"Be careful, Shiki. You as well, Sasaki-san," Ichijou warned us.

"_We'll_ be fine," I scoffed. "_You_ be careful, and make sure to take care of _yourself_."

His voice was dazzling. "I will. See you two back at the dorms, okay?" He waved at us and then in the blink of an eye, he disappeared into the night.

I stared at the spot where he had just been, wondering if he was truly alright. After all, aristocrat vampire or not, taking on eight Level E vampires all by himself couldn't have been as easy as he made it seem.

"Are you worried?"

Whirling around, I began heading back in the direction in which we came. I could feel Shiki a step behind me, his footsteps not making a single sound. "No."

"Don't be," he ignored my response. "Ichijou-san's incredibly strong."

"I figured. As are you."

There was a pause. "Me? No. Compared to Ichijou-san... What I can do is nothing."

"Modesty doesn't suit you," I declared, making sure to keep my tone bland. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, only to see him looking back. I dropped my gaze, returning it straight ahead. We rounded a corner and continued walking straight.

Shaking his head, he sighed, "It's not modesty."

"You have the blood of a Pureblood running through your veins," I reminded him quietly. I couldn't understand how the fact that he had the blood of a Pureblood in his very system seemed to be overlooked by everyone. Perhaps it was because it was a vampire thing, which was why I couldn't fully comprehend it, but I felt like many of those around him didn't acknowledge him properly—even himself. It was exceedingly angering to watch as he let himself be used by those around him so easily.

Responding exactly how I imagined he would, he said, "That fact is insignificant."

"No, it's not," I disagreed. "I'd say it's _extremely_ significant."

"There's a clear difference between what you say and what the rest of the vampire society say," Shiki countered lifelessly. He didn't sound the least bit angry, nor did he sound bitter about the entire thing. He seemed so aloof, so detached about it. I wondered what made him this way.

Not willing to back down from this, I asked, "What makes you so apathetic towards this subject? We're talking about _you_."

Infuriatingly, he shrugged slightly. "It doesn't bother me."

"Liar."

His response was quick. "Is that what you think of me?"

"No matter how emotionless and uncaring you may seem, deep down, you feel something. It's impossible to completely shut out your emotions, no matter how hard you try, no matter how long you strive for that perfect impassiveness. Emotions are emotions. They can't be taken away—suppressed, maybe even to the point where it might not _seem_ to affect you in any way at all, but they can't be completely perished. Somewhere, a part of you dies a bit on the inside, even if it's an almost non-existent part."

A pause. "Speaking from personal experience?"

I stiffened slightly. "No."

"And who's the liar now?" he retaliated smoothly.

By now, we had reached the car. The chauffer, whom had been asleep—I had almost forgotten that it was the day time, and that most vampires were in bed and in blissful slumber—woke up when Shiki rapped lightly on the darkly tinted window and unlocked the doors, letting us in. Shiki took the passenger seat, getting into the vehicle gracefully, and I awkwardly made my way into the back seat. After settling in, we were on our way back to the academy.

Dropping the conversation was _not_ something I planned on doing, especially if it meant I could get Shiki to see himself a bit more clearly. It was obvious that something made him the way he was, and I was determined to find out what. I was also unwilling to give up until he realized just how important he really was.

As a response to what he said earlier, I said, "Whether or not it's from personal experience or not doesn't matter."

"No, it does," he argued expressionlessly. "It's unconvincing hearing inspirational phrases like, 'you're significant' and 'you mean something' from someone who can't take and understand those words themselves. Don't preach to me about those things when you, too, don't love yourself."

"This isn't about me, Shiki." And it was the only thing I could say, because I couldn't find a comeback to anything else he had said.

He looked out the window at the passing scenery. "So why is it about me?"

"Because I want to know," I frankly confessed, not seeing a reason to hide it. There was nothing wrong with being curious, was there? The worse thing that could happen was that he would reject speaking about it, and then question my sanity on it. Maybe he would be a bit revolted, but it was too late to take back the words that had already left my lips.

"To know what?"

"To know about you."

"What about me?"

There was a second of a pause when stillness buried us, and then my voice was just another flutter of wings in the space around us. "Everything."

From the side mirrors of the vehicle, his bottomless eyes met mine. I was suddenly aware of the loud thumping in my ears and the way my stomach clenched and unclenched. It seemed like we were just staring at each other, willing the other to back down, for an eternity.

Eventually, he broke the silence that had absentmindedly settled down between us. "Why?"

"Are you not going to tell me?"

"That depends," he responded, his eyes shifting back to look at the blurring trees. The sky had darkened into a dark blue at this point, and even in the car, I could feel the chill of night sweeping through.

Gripping the present I held in my lap just a bit tighter, I didn't look at him. "On?"

"'Everything' is too vague, Sasaki," he explained indistinctly.

"It should be fine if you tell me little by little, shouldn't it?" I asked him, still not raising my eyes off the Christmas present I had gotten Yuuki. The wrapping paper I had chosen was light pink with white cherry blossom petals scattered all around it. Some petals had white glitter on them, making them sparkle when the light hit it right.

"Does this mean you're going to be sticking around?" His question had me tensing up.

He noticed.

Evading his question, I asked him casually, "Getting sick of me?" My heart thumped harder against my chest as I anticipated his answer.

"Don't change the subject."

"We're talking about the subject right now," I answered. I felt like we were playing a game, and the person who gave out more information was the one who lost first. Our conversation wasn't getting us anywhere, and it was clear that neither one of us wanted to speak about our personal lives first.

"Where do you plan on going?" There was no emotion in his voice whatsoever, but what was I expecting? Concern? A desperate plead for me to stay?

A part of me scoffed. As if. And yet another part of me was disappointed.

I stared at the back of the headrest. "I never said I was leaving."

"But you never confirmed that you're staying," he returned.

"I'm still going to be here tomorrow, Shiki." My voice was quiet, and for some reason, it lacked it's usual apathetic nature. It sounded resigned.

"Tomorrow?" he repeated, and he shifted in his seat, looking at me over his shoulder. His cerulean eyes were piercing as they met mine. "And the day after? The week after? How about in a month, Sasaki?"

Staring into those beautiful, beautiful eyes made my heart hurt. "Does it matter?" I forced out.

"Yes, it does." Somehow, despite the bored expression that adorned his gorgeous features, he sounded so firm as the words left his lips.

"I don't plan to go anywhere anytime soon," I managed to get out. And yet, even though I had been careful with my choice of words, from the way his vividly clear eyes darkened just slightly, I knew that he had caught onto the key words.

A hush made itself comfortable in the black vehicle, but my body couldn't rid itself of its rigidness. I could tell that Shiki, however, seemed relatively relaxed. He had twisted his body back to the front after assessing me with those sharp eyes, and then gone back to gazing out the window. We were only a minute or two away from the main gates of Cross Academy now, and I knew that by the time we got back, I would only have a few minutes for myself before I had to leave for Yuuki's room, where we had decided to meet up.

We pulled up at the main gates, and after thanking the driver, the two of us stepped out of the car. The guards, upon seeing us, allowed the majestic black iron gates to open, and I stared at the back of the maroon-haired model as we took steps back into the academy.

"Sasaki." He stopped walking.

"What?" I stared hard at the back of his head, and he looked over his shoulder so that our eyes met.

"I can't tell you everything about me if you disappear." He didn't blink his eyes, and I stared at him uncomprehendingly, wondering if he was implying what I _thought_ he was implying. I opened my mouth to confirm my thoughts, but he had already turned back to the front. "I'm going ahead. Later."

And just like that, he had disappeared, leaving me to stare speechlessly at the spot where he had just been.

* * *

**A / N : **

So, yessss. That concludes the seventeenth chapter! Sorry, sorry, guysss. I think that the next chapter actually won't contain the Winter Dance, but the chapter after. OTL. I hadn't planned for this to be so long, but I got so into it that it turned out like this.

I hope that you guys enjoyed it! 'Cause I know that I sure had a _ton_of fun writing this chapter!

Thanks to all those you answered my question from last chapter! I loved hearing your opinions, and I'm glad that all of you think I'm not rushing it or taking it too slow. It's extremely encouraging! (:

This time's **question**?

**Who do you prefer Yuuki with? Zero or Kaname and why?**

SPECIAL THANKS TO THE AWESOMEST OF THE AWESOME... : 

**Tsukuda Sumiko, ArisuNoKirasama, yourhappyplace, Princesa de la Luna, x3sYellowie, Smirk 'N' Sweat Drop, AliceMarieSwan, hoove-print-on-your-heart, Youknowwhothisis, xKurenaiBara, Woopa, Trance20666, WinterSoulstis, shatteredxcrystals, x-Lure, Darkemi, I'm Plotting Something Evil, Shekame, Kanna's Master, basil795, arisa0, spadealice, Tailsdoll123, and Jade Kelly**

Also, thank you to all those you have favourited and alerted! You guys rock, too! (:

And, you know, just because I'm so touched, I gotta talk to you, **_Tsukuda Sumiko_**.

Thank you so much. I felt my heart warm at your review- I got teary when I read it. OTL. Call me pathetic, but it's true. I don't think I've done anything to earn your respect, but bro, that made my week. ;_; I'm so thankful that you respect me as an author, even though I don't think I really deserve it. After all, it should be normal for an author to love his or her readers, right? A story and an author wouldn't go anywhere without the support and love from readers.

And ahmygod- just so you know, I read your review for my new story as well. Holy crap, you have no idea how surprised I was to see your name. I was like, "WHOAAA... SWEET." I'm so happy that you're not angry at me. OTL. I mean, I felt like if I started a new story without finishing this one, a lot of people would be like, "GRR, WHY YOU GOTTA DO THAT? NOW IT'LL TAKE LONGER FOR YOU TO UPDATE!" which may or may not be true, but still. ENVOEWNBEOWB. I'm so glad and grateful that you'e supporting me on both stories. You rock my socks, yo. (: We gotta talk and gush about it, aight? LOL.

Mmkay... So yeah. HAHA. (:

I don't really know what to say except that I hope you guys will continue supporting me! And, if any of you guys were reading what I had written above to Tsukuda ( is it okay if I call you that? If not, I apologize. OTL. ), YES, I _did_start something else... OTL. Don't be angry, my loves! I've seriously been in a writing frenzy the past few days. I've ignored, like, all my homework... -SHOT- Which kinda explains why I'm doing crappy, but ANYWAYS.

YES. If you have some spare time, check it out? And if not, that's aight, too.

I'll try to get the next chapter up for Christmas, but I can't make promises! I'll do my besttttttt. FIGHTING!

Tell me what you thought about this chapter in a review, or feel free to share your opinion with me through private messaging! (:

See you guys soon, I hope! ;D

Ja ne,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	18. Scattered Pieces

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight.**

**A/N :**

Hey there. (: So, I don't really know how, but I actually finished this before Christmas, and like I said that I would, I'm updating before the 25th. Shocker? I think so.

Sadly, like I had also said last chapter, this chapter really didn't contain the Winter Dance. BUT IT'LL BE THE NEXT CHAPTER, I SWEAR. xD I hope that you guys get hyped for it. =P

And to those of you who noticed, YES, I actually changed the summary for Shitsuren. -GASPS- I reread the summary while editing this chapter, and I was like, "I think it's time to change it..." so I did. HAHA.

I hope that you guys will enjoy this chapter! (:

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER E_I_G_H_T_E_E_N :**

_"Scattered Pieces"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-ONE [ CONTINUED, PART 3 ]

* * *

Entering the luxurious Moon Dorms, I sighed as I shut the large oak door behind me. Taking off my shoes, I began heading up the stairs, only to stop when I saw a familiar figure awaiting me at the top.

"You got back safely," I observed.

"Yup," Ichijou smiled at me warmly. "Thank you for worrying about me."

Starting up the stairs again, I half-lied. "I wasn't worried."

"Regardless," he answered easily, not seeming the least bit fazed with my cold answer. As I passed him, he said, "You're going to go to Yuuki-chan's room soon to prepare for the dance, right? I hope that you'll save me a dance, Sasaki-san."

"I don't plan to dance with anyone," I rejected. It was true. I had no intention of dancing with anyone, no matter who it was. It would be disastrous, especially since I knew that I would be unstable enough in my stupid heels.

"I'm sure you'll be persuaded somehow." Ichijou grinned at me.

"Don't count on it," I deadpanned, moving towards my dorm room. When I reached the white door, I took out my keys and opened it, revealing the large and spacious room that I was _still_not used to. Shutting the door, I walked over to my desk and placed Yuuki's present on it carefully before making my way to my bed, where I collapsed onto it, feeling it sink slightly. I grabbed onto a pillow and slammed my head face-first into it, shutting my eyes tightly as I buried my head into the soft object.

And as I lay there on my bed, the quiet surrounding me in a serene embrace, I came to the realization that I was tired. Going through the memories I made today, replaying scenes in my head, letting words that had been said echo inside my mind, I realized that it was already too late.

Much too late.

Shiki was right. I _didn't_ love myself—how could I? I had a legendary sorceress living inside me, using me for her own convenience. What I had gone through, everything I had been running from, I had been blaming it all on her, but maybe it was time I stopped running. Maybe it was time I stopped blaming someone, and just accepted everything the way it was.  
_  
"You don't smile."_Ichijou's words rang as loud as bells, and as I rolled over onto my back, I opened my eyes to stare up at the canopy. He was right, and I had lied to him. I didn't smile. I couldn't find it inside me to smile anymore. For so many years, I had never been given a reason to smile. I had always been surrounded by things that made me scream, made me cry, made me wonder when my life would end.

But I was here, and this was now, so what was holding me back?  
_  
I'm tired_.

My body tingled just then, signalling Amaterasu's awakening in my body. A sense of violation stabbed at me once again, like I had just been stripped naked, but I also felt numb. Her soft voice rimmed with nostalgic age spoke gently in my mind, in my heart. _"Riku."_  
_  
Matsuzaki Amaterasu,_ I acknowledged quietly. There was no anger in me like before when she had last shown up. All I could feel was this heavy feeling in my heart.  
_  
"Sadness."_  
_  
Is that what it is?_ I asked her, unsure of it myself. I wondered, briefly, how I could have such a civil conversation with her. She was destroying me, and yet, what was I doing?  
_  
"Why aren't you furious?"_ she asked me hesitantly, like she expected me to lash out at her at any moment.  
_  
I am,_ I confessed. _You can tell, can't you? I'm so, so angry. _  
_  
"But you're not—"_

Yelling at you?

I let out a humourless chuckle. _Maybe this is what they call acceptance._  
_  
"What are you accepting?"_she questioned delicately.

I paused for a moment. _You. My fate._  
_  
"Your fate isn't set in stone," _she told me.

A flash of anger jolted through me at her words. _Don't say that. Don't say something like that, because it's going to give me hope that things will turn out okay, when I've been dealing with the predicted inevitable outcome for the past few years. Nothing will change unless you're gone._  
_  
"Your friends. Don't you trust them to find a way?"_  
_  
I'm not going to bring them into this, _I told her steadily.

Her tone was sad and disapproving. _"They have a right to know, don't you think?"_

No. Something like that... I don't want them to find out.

My heart clenched painfully at the thought, and I could feel pressure in the back of my eyes as I thought about it. A lump started to grow in my throat, and it got harder to swallow. Why was I being like this? I had already known for so long.  
_  
"Because you don't want it anymore," _she answered the question I had asked myself. _"Because you met them again, reconnected again, lived again. Because they're changing you, and now, you don't want what you originally did."_  
_  
This way will hurt so much more in the end._  
_  
"But you can't let go."_  
_  
Will you end it for me?_

_"You want to leave them behind?"_

Frustrated, I shut my eyes again. _It isn't a matter of what I want._

_"I won't do it."_ Amaterasu's voice was strong, and I could tell that she was going to stand her ground indefinitely on her decision.

My heart felt like it was crying. _Why not?_  
_  
"They say it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all," _Amaterasu murmured softly, wistfully. _"It's something that I truly believe in. Don't you want to live your life, Riku? Don't you want to live it fully?"_  
_  
I..._

A knock on the door interrupted my internal conversation, and I quickly sat up on the bed, my eyes darting to wood painted in white.  
_  
"Next time, then."_Amaterasu took her leave quietly and gracefully, returning me to feel like my usual self.

Still slightly dazed at our conversation and at how calm I seemed despite speaking with someone I had been snapping my teeth at not that long ago, my voice shook just slightly as I said, "Come in."

The person who stood at the opened door was someone I did not expect in the least. His tall frame stood high and straight, carrying an aura of calm power around him that I was accustomed to by now. His dark crimson eyes met mine, and he spoke in his usual polite, quiet manner. "Was I interrupting anything?"

"No." I watched him as he entered the room after shutting the door behind him, his footsteps, just like the rest of the Night Class', were silent. "Is there anything you need?"

"Straight to the point, I see," he commented. He took a seat on the chair at my desk, as I had nowhere else for him to rest. He could've sat down on the bed, but I had a feeling both of us were avoiding being within a meter of one another.

"I'm meeting up with Yuuki soon," I told him, noticing the way his eyes flashed with emotion at the sound of her name.

"Is that so? Then we should make this quick." Kaname turned to look at me with his melancholic eyes. "There was an unusually large amount of Level E vampires in the nearby town today, as you're aware."

I regarded him carefully. "And?"

"What are your thoughts on it?" he asked, the subtle hint of what he was implying already getting through to me.

"Why would I have _any_ reason to gather Level E vampires?" My tone of voice was glacial. I didn't appreciate how he was pointing fingers already, and especially at me. I understood that I was unusual, and that I wasn't completely safe to be around, but I wasn't _insane_, nor was I an enemy.

"I never made such an accusation," Kaname defended himself calmly.

My hand clenched around a handful of blanket. "It was implied in your words and tone."

"Is that how it came off? Pardon me, then," the brunette Pureblood said.

"Then you're here to _honestly_listen to my thoughts on why I think Level E vampires gathered?" The doubtfulness in my voice was plain.

He leaned back against my large, leather swivel chair. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes," I told him candidly.

"Regardless of what you may think," he started, "I _do_respect your opinion and your decisions. Your insights and thoughts are valuable in the sense that, like everyone else's, they're different. New ideas lead to new conclusions."

My eyes flickered to the window, and I noticed in the back of my mind that there were no stars out. But then again, it wasn't quite that late yet. "If only I knew."

"Speculations," he specified.

A knot twisted painfully in my stomach, and I made sure to freeze my eyes before I met his. "And if I said they were after me?"

The air automatically thickened around us, and his lips twitched into the slightest of frowns. He gauged me warily, his dark eyes grave and contemplating.

After a long, tense moment in which my entire body seemed to freeze over, he spoke. "Were they?"

"I don't know." It was the truth, but something in me told me that maybe, just maybe, what I said had been right.

There was another short hiatus. "I don't think they were."

"You don't?" I inquired, watching as he shifted just slightly in the chair.

"From Ichijou's report, they didn't appear to have an interest in you," Kaname updated me, the air around us thinning out. Neither one of us said anything, but it was a relatively comfortable silence. Though I _did_ hold a dislike towards the Pureblood, I didn't want him to burn in a hole and die. After all, there _was_some good in him, despite how he seemed.

And besides, if he was gone, Yuuki would be in a wreck.

"I'd say to just observe the situation," I finally said. "I can't conjure up any reasons why Level Es would be gathering. It's most likely just a coincidence."

He didn't make any move to acknowledge my proposition, but I knew that it was in his mind. I also knew that I was late in heading towards Yuuki's dorm, but in all honesty, I didn't care. As much as I loved her, and as much as I didn't want to upset her when she was already so high up in the clouds, I couldn't bring myself to show enthusiasm for the event.

Curiosity, definitely, but not enthusiasm.

"I'm interested as to why you think that they were after you." He didn't say it like a question, but I heard it silently in his words.

"It seemed like what you wanted to hear," I lied.

His face was grim. "I'm not here to play games."

"Neither am I." Seriousness was etched into my tone, weaving into the usual apathy.

Our eyes clashed. I could see the frown in those dark scarlet eyes, and they reflected the same kind of expression that I knew my mauve ones held. If he thought that I would back down from him _just_because he was a Pureblood, he had another thing coming. What he was made no difference to me—he was challenging me, and I wasn't going to run away from him.

He didn't scare me.

Maybe if I angered him, it would be doing myself a favour. Would he destroy me? Would he not? I was tempted to find out, but I knew that causing a ruckus tonight wasn't a good idea. There was too much going on, and upon remembering Ichijou's excitement, I realized that starting something with Kaname would ruin everything that everyone was looking forward to.

And yet, I still couldn't look away.

"If," his voice was calm, "you present yourself as a threat, I will kill you."

His words didn't surprise me, and I didn't even bat an eyelash. "I didn't expect anything less."

"How noble." It came out in a way that _almost_sounded mocking. Standing up elegantly from my chair, he straightened his lithe frame and began heading towards the door. "You should be going. I'm sure Yuuki is wondering what's holding you."

Just as he was about to leave my room, I stopped him by saying his name. "Kuran-senpai."

He paused at the doorway, but he didn't say anything. The proud and powerful brunette stayed motionless at the door, making no move to turn around to look at me.

I stared at his back dispassionately, blinking my eyes as I took in his slightly wrinkled casual clothing. "I, too, want to protect Yuuki. I don't need you to tell me."

After hearing what I said, he didn't move for a moment. It was like he had hesitated in his choice to leave, or his decision to remain silent, but in the end, the influential male exited into the hallway with an aura of refinement.

Despite knowing I should've left for Yuuki's dorm room the very second Kaname had made his departure, I didn't move from my spot on the bed. For a few minutes, all I did was sit in my unfamiliar room. I couldn't really even think—my mind drew a blank. There was a hollow feeling inside me that appeared out of nowhere, leaving me wanting to do nothing at all.

It was soon replaced with a feeling of resignation.

Snapped out of my stupor, I shut my eyes and exhaled deeply, reopening them again when I got all the air out. Understanding something about myself that I hadn't before, I got up determinedly and took out a fresh set of undergarments before heading to the bathroom to take a shower.

When I had finished taking my shower and gotten dressed in my regular clothing, I made my way over to my closet, opening it up to reveal my dress that had been covered in a black plastic covering. Taking it out carefully, I held it so that it hung over my shoulder, the hook of the hanger resting off my fingers. Grabbing the bag in which my heels had been left untouched since I had last bought them, I couldn't help but notice the pair of black flats that had been placed next to it.

It wouldn't hurt, would it?

Setting down the bag of heels, I swiped the flats out of the closet and placed them into the bag as well before closing my closet door. I picked up the bag in my spare hand, and then made my way towards Yuuki's dorm.

* * *

"What took you so long, Riku?" Yuuki asked, the worry unmistakable in her tone as she separated a section of my hair from the rest.

"I had something to do," I said vaguely. "Sorry, Yuuki, Sayori-san."

The quiet and kind strawberry blonde shook her head. "We're just glad that you could make it."

"Geez," Yuuki complained. "And I thought that we were all going to help each other _together_. It's just us helping you this time, Riku."

"Sorry, sorry," I repeated, actually meaning it. I felt guilty that I had ruined Yuuki's mood. Of course, she was still exuberantly excited for the dance, but I could also tell that she was slightly upset that I hadn't been on time.

Sayori looked at the brunette. "Yuuki," she chided.

"I know, I know," Yuuki sighed in defeat. "But I really wanted you two—_both—_to see me in my complete outfit right after wearing it!"

When I had arrived, Yuuki and Sayori had already been dressed up. They opened the door, clad in their dresses, their makeup done and their hair already put into place. I had been surprised, not at the fact at how they had done it without me, but at how incredibly _stunning_they both looked.

Of course, I had always known that Yuuki was extremely pretty. Sayori, as well, was a beauty. However, their eyes had been enhanced to look larger and rounder from the dark eyeliner they wore, and their cheeks had a faint rosy colour to it from the blush they applied. The colour of their eye-shadow complimented their dresses perfectly, and their lipstick accented their full shapes.

All in all, they looked like they would attract numerous stares all night long.

Yuuki's dress suited her perfectly. The basic colour of the dress was a pure white, and it was a strapless. It had a corset-like bodice, white laces and frills lining the edges of the dress, and a medium-sized rose made out of cloth was in the middle of the front. The laces of the corset were a light pink, and they were tied into a bow at the back. Pale pink cloth had been added on top of the white at the sides, the cloth going vertically down and then, upon meeting the skirt, following its shape, before falling loosely on the sides, extending farther than the skirt by a foot. The skirt itself was very frilly, and it puffed out a bit, like one of those large ball gowns you'd see back in the day, except it was shorter. It fell in wispy layers to her knees, showing off her pale and slender legs. The entire dress seemed to have had handfuls of white glitter sprinkled onto it—not too much, but enough to have the dress glint when the light hit it correctly.

It was a very girly dress, but it suited Yuuki.

Her short chocolate hair didn't necessarily have anything done to it, but a headband that matched her dress was placed onto her head. It, too, had a lot of lace and ribbons on it.

And I wasn't sure how she could stand it, but she was already wearing her white stiletto heels that looked like they were absolutely killer. Just _seeing_her wearing those, I already felt pain, and I wasn't even the one wearing them.

I would always, always admire women who could stand heels.

"Sorry." I felt like a broken record. "But I wouldn't have been much help even if I had gotten here earlier, anyways." Which was the truth, because I had no idea how to apply makeup properly.

"But you _being_here was what we wanted," Yuuki pouted. "Next year, you'll definitely come on time!"

"_Next year?"_I blinked at her in surprise.

Slight confusion tainted her tone. "Didn't you know that the Winter Dance is held annually?"

"No, it's not that," I told her.

Even more bewilderment. "Then what's wrong?"

I wanted to shake my head, but seeing as she was curling my hair, I couldn't. Instead, I went with a, "It's nothing."

"Are you sure?" she sounded hesitant, like she wasn't sure if this was a subject she was allowed to venture upon. One of the things I loved about Yuuki was how she always seemed to know where a boundary was. She never pushed me into telling her something I didn't want to, nor did she press for information on a subject that I clearly didn't want to speak about.

It made keeping secrets a lot easier.

"I'm sure," I reassured her.

Sayori mentioned something about Christmas, and the two of them began chatting away happily together. I was glad that they were talking amongst themselves—it gave me time to drift off into my own little world. I thought about all the things that I was keeping from Zero, from Yuuki, from Shiki, and from Ichijou.

I thought about telling them.

... And then I pulverized that thought.

It was one of the things I was dead-set on—not telling them. Albeit Amaterasu would disagree with me on this, I knew that telling them would only make matters worse. Things would change too drastically if they knew. If I told them, everything would be turned upside down, and if I had to be completely honest with myself, I was scared.

Twenty-two days had passed since I entered Cross Academy.

Only twenty-two days.

Yet, in those twenty-two days, my entire life was starting to change. _I _was starting to change. I was beginning to get used to the atmosphere that I was in and my surroundings. I was finally starting to _adapt_. Call it selfishness, but I didn't want to have to start all over again, which was exactly what would happen if they found out.

The way they saw me would change.

"Riku?" Yuuki touched my shoulder.

Snapping out of my reverie, I blinked. "I was daydreaming. What's wrong, Yuuki?"

Her eyebrows furrowed together. "How did you get that nasty scar?"

Immediately, I knew exactly what she was talking about. In an automatic action, my right hand flew up to clutch at my left shoulder, hoping that my hand would cover up what was there.

My first thought was, _how did she know?_But then I realized that she had been curling my hair, and that I was wearing my dress, so there was nothing left to keep it covered.

Anger and bitterness growled inside me, and I wanted to let out a sombre laugh. Instead, however, I bit down on my tongue.

"It looks like it hurt a lot," Sayori murmured softly, her eyes sympathetic.

Yuuki stared at me. "How...?"

"I got into a car crash in America," I told her, looking at her straight in the eyes.

The two of them gasped, looking stunned. Their already-wide eyes seemed like saucers now, and they stared at me in disbelief.

"What happened?" Yuuki demanded.

"I had been walking to school," I murmured tonelessly, "and then I got hit by a drunk driver." Upon seeing their faces, I added, "I was fine. There were no major injuries. The scar isn't as bad as it looks."

Arms wrapped around me tightly, and I awkwardly returned the embrace. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"It's a good thing that there were no life-long injuries," Sayori agreed, her eyes soft and warm. Sincerity radiated from her in waves, and I envied how she was able to care so genuinely for someone she hardly even knew.

"Thanks." I meant what I said, and yet, guilt chewed at my heart.

"Don't say thanks for something like that," Sayori chastised, but a smile was on her face as she looked at me.

Nodding in agreement, Yuuki huffed, "It makes us feel like you think we're _obligated_to care, and we're not, so... Don't say something like 'thanks' to our concern."

"I—" I was about to say, "I'm sorry" but I knew that they would only reproach me more. So as an alternative to apologizing, I nodded my head. "Okay."

Cherry eyes glanced at the clock that hung on the wall, widening slightly when she saw the time. "Oh, no! We have ten minutes to finish this up before we're late."

Sayori had a thoughtful look on her face. "I wonder why prefects need to be there a bit earlier..."

Yuuki and I exchanged glances—we both knew that we had to be there earlier so that we could be the first ones there and look things over. It would be horrible if a Night Class student was left all alone with a cluster of willing and oblivious Day Class students and something happened to make the vampire lose his or her control.

"Don't think too much about it, Yori-chan," Yuuki exclaimed cheerfully. She continued taking sections of my hair, clipping the ends of it onto the curler and then rolling the curler up. She only had one or two sections left. "Yori-chan, do you want to do Riku's makeup?"

"I'm not in a hurry," I informed the two of them.

Yuuki looked puzzled. "We only have ten minutes."

Elaborating, I flatly said, "I don't plan to go early." I knew that Kaien would be there to instruct us on what to do, and call me a coward, but I wasn't going to face him and have him order me around. It was strange for me to not have seen Kaien for over a day. Ever since I had come to the academy, I saw him _at least_twice every single day. It was unusual for me not to encounter the optimistic male with hair the colour of pale straw.

Comprehension dawned onto Yuuki. "You two didn't make up yet?"

"Ah, I heard about that," Sayori murmured softly, quietly. "People say that you got into an enormous argument with the Headmaster, and that you were both furious at each other."

"I'm not mad anymore." I looked away from them.

"Then why haven't you guys made up?" Yuuki questioned, finishing up the last section of hair.

I shrugged slightly. "We just never got around to it." It was a lie. We hadn't made up yet because neither of us was truly over the argument yet—our words were still fresh in each others' minds. Looking at him, I was reminded of all the things I had said to him, and it was hard to see how he could look at me and _not_think of what I did.

Yuuki didn't sound convinced. "Then why don't you want to go early?"

"I'm still going to be doing my patrols," I reported to her. "Tell Kaien that."

"Riku—"

"I'll help you with your makeup," Sayori interrupted, and she smiled at me slightly in understanding when I looked at her.

Shaking my head, I explained flatly, "I don't intend to wear makeup."

"_What_?" Yuuki was horror-struck. "No, no. You were late today, so for compensation, you're going to wear makeup."

A scowl grew on my face, because I couldn't say no to that. It was true—I _had_ been late, and I _had_ruined the mood. I could request that they think of something else I could do as compensation, but when I thought about what they could summon up in their minds, the idea of wearing a little makeup for a few hours looked a lot better.

The last thing I wanted was for Yuuki to tell me she wanted answers as her recompense.

"Fine," I deadpanned. "But I'm not wearing lipstick."

"Lip gloss, then," Yuuki said.

"No," I refused blankly.

Her eyes narrowed slightly at me. "Yes."

"Clear," I resigned, not wanting to upset her.

She was reluctant to accept, but she knew that I wouldn't budge on it. "Fine."

"And no eye shadow," I added with a frown.

"Riku!" Yuuki complained, sounding slightly distressed.

"No eye shadow," I repeated firmly. Makeup was such a hassling thing. Admittedly, if you knew what you were doing, it could make someone look extremely beautiful. However, the time that it took and the effort that it would take to master how to do it properly were extremely troublesome. Especially since I had prefect duties, there was absolutely no way that I would wake up earlier to do something as ridiculous as applying makeup when I could be getting rest.

I knew that Yuuki wasn't a pathetic moron when it came to things like cosmetics, but I also wondered how she found the time to perfect the art of makeup when she, like I, had prefect duties. I hoped that she didn't stay up extra late to do something as preposterous as that.

Sayori moved in front of me. "Close your eyes please, Sasaki-chan."

Doing as I was told, I shut my eyes. I could feel movement around me, and then she lightly touched my face, tilting it to her convenience. Then I felt the slightly cool touch of something near my eyes, and I could feel my lips automatically moving downwards.

"I've got to go," Yuuki said after a few moments. She had finished curling my hair for me earlier, and had been chatting with Sayori. "I'm already going to be late if I don't leave now."

"I'll see you later tonight, " Sayori said.

"Yup!" Yuuki approved excitedly. Even though I had my eyes closed, I knew that she had turned to look at me. "I'll tell Chairman that you're still going to perform your duties tonight."

Sayori had finished with one eye, and since my face was free for a brief moment, I nodded at her in gratitude. I lifted a hand up in a wave, and her heels clicked away hurriedly as she made her way quickly towards the ballroom.

"Close your eyes again, please," Sayori murmured, and I obliged. It was silent between the two of us, which didn't surprise me. I was impressed that she wasn't tentative to spend time alone with me. After all, I didn't give off the most welcoming vibe. _  
_  
There wasn't much said between the two of us. She was rather reserved—quiet, but perspective. And I already knew that she was going to say something that would touch a nerve before she had even spoken.

"Are you sure that lying to Yuuki is okay?"

"Lying is never okay," I responded dully even though I did it so frequently.

There was a slight suspension in her movements before she finished lining my eye. "And yet you do it?"

Opening my eyes, lavender clashed with hazel.

"I never said I was a good guy."

* * *

**A/N : **

Mm, so that concludes the eighteenth chapter. I hope that you guys liked it! There were a few hints dropped in this chapter, and I actually had a lot of fun writing the conversation between Riku and Amaterasu near the beginning. xD

SPECIAL THANKS TO PEOPLE WHO ROCKED MY SOCKS;

**MoonlitNite, x3sYellowie, Lianne Sabrina, Tailsdoll123, Kanna's Master, XXTakaraXX, Shekame, Darkemi, ChocolateAddictionx, Princesa de la Luna, Tsukuda Sumiko, Youknowwhothisis, Guppy, AlwaysRainy, 8D, Kiyanna the dark mistress, and Shannyrox101**

You guys are amazing for reviewing for me! (: Thank you so much.

And thank you a lot to all the people who alerted and favourited! ;D

HAHA, I had a lot of fun reading your answers to my question. From what I gathered, a lot of people want Yuuki to end up with Zero in the actual VK manga. Man, I could spend so long talking to you guys about my thoughts on this, but... -shakes head- I think I'll spare you guys a super long rant full of swearing and profanity. And maybe so bashing. -SHOT-

Ahmygod, you guys... I got so many amazing reviews this time, I just HAVE to take up your time and a bunch of space here to address a bunch of you. So if you guys see your name below, I've written a response to your lovely review, and to those of you want to read them just for the hell of it, feel free to do so! It's not as if I don't think all my reviewers are awesome, but I think it'll take me forever and ten thousand more words if I wanted to respond to all of them. xD Sorry, guys!

To **Shekame;**

AHMYGOD. DO THEY? I don't know, man... I feel like a lot of it's kinda choppy. IUNNO, maybe it's just me. But I'm really glad you think so! (: It didn't take me until Christmas to get the previous chapter done, and it didn't take me until Christmas to get this chapter done, either. SURPRISE! xD I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Unfortunately, this chapter didn't contain any Shiki in it, so... ENBOWENBOW. I don't know if you can still consider a Christmas present, but here you are? HAHA. Thank you so much for your compliments, and for taking your time to review for me! I love how you said you'd review for me on the next chapter. -heartheart- xD I hope that you have a lovely Christmas this year, and a fabulous New Year, too!

To **Tsukuda Sumiko;**

Pfft, c'mon. After such a flattering review like that, how could I NOT respond back? LOL. I don't really know if I should've earned your respect for not dropping this story after two years... I mean, really, it's been two years and I still didn't finish it. OTL. And nawh, I won't be giving up on any of my stories, especially if I've posted them up. It's one of the reasons why I post my stories up, so I have motivation to finish them. HAHA. 'Cause if I don't, I'll just think it's no big deal if I don't complete it, but when you've posted it online and have people waiting, I can't bring myself to disappoint. I know I hate it when authors take down stories or leave them uncompleted after I've been waiting for it to update and be completed. We can gush about all manga and anime through private messaging, 'cause I feel like if I do this here, people will facepalm when they read what I write. I don't make sense half the time. HAHA. Thank you so much for reviewing for me! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! I wish you the best Christmas this year, and I hope that you have a blast to start off the New Year!

To **Youknowwhothisis;**

HEYYY. I'm glad you liked the moment? HAHA. Admittedly, I think it was my favourite moment in that chapter, too. Sorry about dropping the hints, but it's necessary ;D I like to make people wonder. Things will eventually start to unfold, so I hope that you look forward to it by continuing to read! I love how you loved the chapter. LOL. Sometimes I feel the moments I create are too awkward and tense, but... BNOEWNBOWEB. I dunno, man. Thanks for the compliment, though ;D I updated before Christmas, so I hope you're happy. ;D I know I am. Thank you for reviewing for me, and I hope that your Christmas and New Year is more than just amazing.

To **Guppy;**

I only had to read your review for, like, five seconds before I was already smiling at it. HAHA. I'm glad that you remembered the title of this fanfic! The fact that you were so distressed over it makes me smile. I MEAN, I'm not glad that you were distressed, but the fact that you loved it so much that you were trying so hard to find it makes me happy. xD Please don't beat yourself up about it! I'm not offended at all that you forgot the name, and I don't think you're a bad reader at all! The fact that you found this story again and were so hung up over it is more than enough to make you an absolutely amazing reader. I'm honestly not mad, so neither should you. Rather, I'm very thankful that I have a reader like you, and I'm glad that I'll be having you back as a Shitsuren reader! ;D Ahmygod, you flatter me so much. You shouldn't spoil me so much, y'know? ): I'll get all cocky. LOL. I'm glad you love Riku and Shiki's relationship, and I don't think my writing is great enough to influence yours ( not for the better, at least. OTL ) but I'm so happy that you think my writing is that well done. HAHA. I'm EXTREMELY happy that I've inspired you to write. You really can't imagine how thrilled I was when I read that; I felt like the world was bathed in light for a moment. xDDD Thank you for loving me so much; I love you so much, too! ;D It's not weird at all, so don't worry. I'm thankful that you're so faithful to Shitsuren, and I'll try not to keep you waiting with my updates! Knowing that I have such amazing reviewers make me want to write faster and update more! HAHA, I didn't really plan for the Shima thing to happen. It just kinda did. xD Man, I could spend so much time telling you my opinion on what should happen with the KanamexYuukixZero love triangle, but I'll spare you. If you end up making a fanfiction account, I'll private message you about it. But for now, let's just say I ain't too pleased. Thank you so much for your amazing review, Guppy! Your review inspired me to write more, which was one of the reasons why I got this chapter up so quickly. HAHA. I hope that I'll continue to see your name in my inbox and I'll be able to talk to you more! I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous New Year! Thanks so much.

To** AlwaysRainy;**

Ahmygod, I stole your very first review? I'm so happy. LOL. I mean, I'm so flattered. I love how I made you fall in love with Shiki's character. ;D I feel like he doesn't get a lot of credit, and I don't know. Something about him drew me in when I watched VK, so I'm glad that you're loving him just like how I do! (: Man, am I really keeping everyone so in character? I spend a lot of time wondering if anyone's too OOC. I'm so relieved to know that you guys all think I'm keeping everyone not too OOC. I don't know if my writing is enough to make you believe it's part of the VK plot, but thank you so much for the compliment! Trust me, it pisses me off a lot too when authors make characters too OOC. I just... I don't get why it happens. Or how. But anyways, I hope that I'll be seeing your name reviewing for me until the very end of Shitsuren! ;D I'm glad that you're interested to read until the end, and a sequel? MAN. I don't even know. As of right now, I can't really see it. I actually have another VK fanfic in my folder that I didn't post up yet, and I've been wondering if I should. I mean, it's not a ShikixOC, but rather a ZeroxOC. If I ever end up posting it, I might ask if anyone wants it to have RikuxShiki in it as well, but EBNOEWNBOWE. ANYWAYS. To be honest, I forget a lot of things, and I had to go back to make sure what I thought was there was actually there. HAHA. Thank you for your review; it was amazingly awesome. Instead of thanking me for writing this story, I should be thanking you for reviewing for me! So thanks a bunch. I hope that your Christmas is full of laughter and fun, and that your New Year will also be the same!

And that's the end of it... Mm, I mean, to those of you who said you love the relationship between Shiki and Riku... I love y'all, and I love how you guys love them. HAHA.

This time's **question**... Let's see... How about; **which pairing do you HONESTLY prefer more? ShikixRima or ShikixRiku and why?**

Leave your answers in your reviews, or private message me! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. ACTUALLY, MAYBE THIS CHAPTER WILL HAVE TWO QUESTIONS? I don't know. Depends on how you look at it. HAHA. If the one above is the first question, the one below is the second!

OKAY, GUYS. The **next chapter is going to be the chapter with the WINTER DANCE** in it. I want to know just how much you guys want to read it, and just how excited you guys for it. I want to know what you THINK will happen, what you WANT to happen, and just how it's all going to do down. I've been trying to create hype for the chapter containing the Winter Dance, and since I know a lot of you guys have been anticipating it, I hope that you guys will motivate me to write it as fast as possible! HAHA.

The more motivation I get, the faster you guys will get your chapter containing the Winter Dance. So please review, and tell me your thoughts on this chapter, as well as what will happen in the next!

And more than anything,** I hope that each and every single one of you have an amazing Christmas full of laughter, happiness, and love**. I hope that you guys don't party too hard, and that you guys will have time to relax. I'd give you guys all presents, but I don't think I can afford it all. HAHA. You guys are just so amazing that I wish you guys the best Christmas of your lives so far. -hugs each and every one of you guys tightly- Open your presents joyfully, and eat lots! HAHA. And when New Years rolls around, I hope you guys have an absolute blast to start the new year. We're all getting older, and time is passing by fast, but I hope that you guys will continue to support me, and that you guys will have even more fun in the year to come!

I love you guys! (: And I honestly hope that I'll be able to update soon.

With lots of love,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	19. Unwinding, Unfurling, but Hush

**Disclaimer : I don't own Vampire Knight!**

**A/N :**

HEREEEEEE IT ISSS, GUYSSSSSSSS! Finally, finally, _finally_, the chapter that contains the Winter Dance is here and written! You guys have absolutely _no_idea how much time I spent writing this chapter and how many times I had to redo it. I felt like a bunch of stuff just wasn't correctly done, so I kept cutting and then re-writing scenes.

BUT I FINALLY FINISHED IT!

Man, it's been a bit over a month, hasn't it? But, hey, at least you guys got this before another five months.

Are you guys interested in knowing how many pages this chapter was? TWENTY-SEVEN. Do you guys know how many WORDS that is? Over seventeen THOUSAND! Ahmygod. You guys... I don't even know what to say except that I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as you possible can, and that I didn't disappoint anyone. -SHOT-

I'll stop talking, since I know that this is a chapter that a bunch of you guys have been waiting so desperately for. HAHA. Here you guys go! I hope that this chapter will cheer you guys up if you're having a bad day!

ENJOY, MY LOVES.

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER N_I_N_E_T_E_E_N :**

_"Unwinding, Unfurling, but Hush"_

* * *

NIGHT TWENTY-ONE [ CONTINUED, PART 4 ]

* * *

Sighing, I looked up at the sky. It was extremely dark out now, the sky blanketed by a mix of midnight blue and black. The moon was hanging above everyone in a sideways grin, the cold hands of winter not making it shine any less.

It was probably time for me to actually get myself to the ballroom. The Winter Dance had officially started at seven-thirty, and at the moment, it was ten minutes until eight. If you counted the time that prefects had to be there, I was over thirty minutes late to the event.

Unable to help my scowl, I made my way down the empty halls of the school towards the ballroom. My footsteps didn't make any loud clicking and clacking sounds, as I had discarded the heels and wore my flats instead. What footwear I wore wasn't noticeable anyways, as my dress fell to the floor and completely enclosed my feet.

My stomach did uncomfortable twists as I neared the slightly ajar ballroom door. The music that was being played sang in my ears, and I hoped desperately that nobody would notice my arrival—especially the headmaster.

Opening the door wider, I stepped through it into the extremely vast ballroom. The actual lights from the crystal chandeliers were extremely dim, and instead, a lot of the luminosity came from the white bulbs that had been strewn all around the room. It was easy to see everything clearly, but it still wasn't entirely bright. Large, thin, but wide cloths hung down from the center of the ceiling and stretched to a wall, creating an arc in the material. The cloths were a mix of colours—dark blue, light blue, and white. The grand and elegant pillars that had lined the ballroom were now decorated with clusters of balloons placed strategically to make them look like flowers, and glittered cloth wrapped and spiraled around the pillars like vines, causing them to sparkle when the light hit them right.

Although I had been part of the committee to put the room together, it was my first time seeing the completed product, and it honestly knocked me breathless. The ballroom itself on regular days was so elegant and exquisite already, and having it decorated the way it was only made it all the more beautiful.

Real rose bushes had been bought and brought in, the potted plants placed around the room. They looked like they had been tampered with, however, because they looked as if snow had fallen on them for a few hours already, and snow had definitely not fallen yet, despite it being late December.

The tables and chairs were situated around the edge, so that the middle of the room was entirely for dancing. Fog machines were hidden, but they blew out a soft mist onto the dance floor, the cool steam lingering there and creating a gentle effect.

A lot of students, both Night and Day, were mingling amongst themselves. Some girls wore short dresses that seemed to go for a more sultry appeal, while others went for a more princess-like look. Many also opted for a cute and innocent image, like Yuuki, while others just seemed to go for a more casual and easy-going style.

Suits and tuxedos clad the men in white, dark grey, light grey, and black. Their ties or bow-ties were a variety of colours, some paler than others, while some were extremely eye-catching and bright. A few males had decided to leave the blazer, coming in just their dress shirts that, like their ties, were diverse in colours.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly—the Night Class students and Day Class students were dancing together, while some were off to the side, and others were at the extremely long table near the end, where all the food was. Chatter and laughter mixed in with the music that played, the atmosphere festive and light.

Many heads—females and males—had turned to look at me as I entered the room, but when they saw it was only me, they turned their heads away. Some looked back at me over their shoulders, whispering to their friends. I had no interest in what they were saying, but it perplexed me as to why so many people were intrigued by who entered the room.

Judging by the way they had looked so disappointed upon seeing me, they must have been expecting someone else. A Night Class student, more than likely. Probably two of the opposite gender, if I had to base my predictions on the fact that both guys and girls had shown interest at who entered.

"Why didn't you and the Headmaster make up yet?" Zero's voice sounded beside me, and I whipped around to look at him, startled. He was leaning against the wall right next to the door, his arms folded across his chest. A classical black tuxedo covered his physique, though he had his blazer unbuttoned and his black tie was messily done, hanging improperly around his neck.

"Why are you brooding here?" I shot back, maintaining my apathetic nature. As I regarded my childhood friend with wary eyes, my heart couldn't help but warm slightly as I realized he had been waiting for my arrival.

His similar eyes met mine. "I'm not brooding. Answer the question, Riku."

"It's not important," I brushed it off indifferently, not wanting to tell him the reason. Zero would be furious if he found out the reason was because I was still a bit bitter on the inside, and that I was really just too much of a wimp to hear what Kaien had to say about it. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he told me straightforwardly that he honestly _did_ consider Yuuki's life of higher value than mine. How would I respond to something like that?

The handsome silver-haired vampire hunter glowered at me. "Just go make up with the man already. Having him act so solemn whenever you're mentioned is irritating."

"Easier said than done." I glanced away from him and changed the subject. "Have you been just standing here this entire time?"

"You're changing the subject." He straightened himself out of his previous position and faced me directly, the look on his face telling me he was serious—but then again, when was he not?

Although he had such a look on his face, I stared back at him unflinchingly. "It's not your business, Zero." I felt so cold saying that to him, knowing that he was only doing this because he cared. Yet, the words left my lips in a way that made me sound as if I was telling him I didn't want to accept his feelings.

"Clearly, our standpoints on this are different." Zero didn't look hurt—not that I expected him to—but he only seemed more agitated at me.

"When you find out, you're going to be furious," I warned him dully.

"Since when were you afraid of me?" he countered at once, his eyes piercing. His entire body was stiff, and I knew that he had his Bloody Rose hidden in his blazer, just as I had Celia still around my neck. Despite having a conversation with one another, half of our attention was still focused on the world around us, not wanting to have any accidents happen tonight that could have been prevented if we were only more focused.

Making sure to keep my face entirely void of emotions, I told him, "I don't want to hear what he has to say."

No words escaped Zero's lips for a moment as he stared at me uncomprehendingly for a moment. But when my words seemed to register in his mind, his eyes flashed. "You actually believe all that bullshit that you were saying?"

"Am I wrong?" I looked at him, and just because it was Zero, I let my facade drop for a second, just so he could see just how I felt. Just how much it hurt, how much I felt like I was alone.

He stared at me for a moment, his eyes piercing yet tender, and his lips pulled down into a frown. "Riku, don't you think you need to know the full story before jumping to conclusions?"

"The full story," I repeated, and then the walls were back up as I closed myself off. "Maybe. But it's fine like this, too."

"No, it's not," Zero objected. His eyes, so similar to mine, looked so understanding. "You're running away again."

"No," I ground out. "Don't say something like that."

His expression didn't change. "Why? Is the truth too harsh?"

"Because I've already decided that tonight's the night that I stopped running."

I met his gaze squarely, and for just a moment, the two of us were wrapped up in our own little bubble that was impenetrable. Looking into the eyes of my childhood friend whom I'd held so dear, I forgot entirely that I was supposed to be watching out for any mischievous and improper behaviour between the Night Class and Day Class students. Everything just didn't register inside my brain except for the two of us, the way he was looking at me with his solemn expression, and how my throat closed up slowly as I thought about what I had said.

Yes, it was time to accept everything fully.

And that meant understanding, as well as acknowledging, what I knew I would be losing.

Looking at Zero, I contemplated about whether or not coming to Cross Academy had been the wrong decision. After all, Amaterasu was right. I had come back here, and everything had changed. I never expected any of this to happen, but it did, and it screwed _everything_ up. What I wanted—what I wanted...

But could never have.

"Zero." His name fell from my lips softly, quietly, yet I made sure to maintain my usual indifference. "It's... Sad to be alone."

He was quiet for a moment, but when he finally spoke, it was a breath in the room. "I know."

"How is it that we can be surrounded by so many people, by people whom we care about and are cared about in return, and yet feel completely... utterly... alone?" I didn't expect an answer to my question, and he didn't give me one.

A sense of bitterness clutched at me, and unconsciously, my hands tightened into fists at my sides.

There was a voice in the back of my mind, telling me that just because I wasn't going to run away anymore, it didn't mean that I had to bare my soul. It was a warning, a reminder. It was my logical, rational side—the side that wanted to keep everything hidden and buried until the day came, because that way, maybe it'd hurt a lot less. Maybe, hopefully.

Maybe. Hopefully.

But the words slipped out of my mouth. "Zero, if I decided to leave Cross Academy in the future... Would you stop me?"

"Why would you ask me something like that?" he questioned me after a moment, a tense edge in his voice that matched the way his body was. His eyes burnt lasers into mine as we continued to look at each other. I analyzed the emotion that was held in his violet ones, wondering if there was anything there at all, because that was all I needed.

Something, anything.

Turning away, I brushed it off casually. "Forget it." I began walking away, not looking over my shoulder at the silver-haired teen as I tossed over my shoulder a, "I'm going to patrol around."

I had gotten at least fifteen meters away when his hand enclosed around my wrist, stopping me. His grip was tight, so tight that it almost hurt. There was a splash of anger in his voice as he demanded, "What are you talking about, Riku?"

"It's nothing, Zero." I didn't turn around to look at him, because I knew that if I did, I would end up saying more than I wanted to. I had been so close—I was _so_ sure he was going to let it slide, since I had gotten so far from him. Normally, he'd have stopped me within the first three feet, and yet he had let me stride over fifteen meters away before halting me. Why?

There was venom in his words. "You don't say something like that for the fun of it."

"Mere curiosity," I gave him my excuse, though I knew he wouldn't believe it. "Don't you think that you're taking it too seriously?"

"Don't lie to me." There was a vicious tone in his voice. "Asking something like that from 'mere curiosity'..." he scoffed.

My eyes flickered around the large ballroom, observing everything around me. I noticed how Aidou was surrounded by his female fans, and I wasn't sure why, but I wondered how many girls' blood type he had asked for.

I tried to shake off Zero's grip on my wrist, but it was like an iron vice, unbending. "Zero, let go."

"There's a reason why you asked, and why you can't look at me in the eye."

"Because I'm doing my duty as a prefect," I responded flatly. "Have you forgotten?"

His tone was biting. "Never."

"Then let go," I deadpanned. My eyes shut, and I willed it with my heart. _Please, Zero. Please._

His presence behind me was something that I could feel so clearly. His intimidating aura that pushed everyone away engulfed me, but I knew him better than that. "Not until you tell me what you're planning."

Slight aggravation tainted my tone. "Where did your strong sense of duty go?" Where was it when I needed it the most?

"You're trying to switch the subject around, but it's not going to work." I hated how he could see through me so easily.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I was interrupted by a cheerful voice that hollered out my name. "Sasaki-san!"

"Of all times," Zero muttered under his breath, the annoyance and sourness was apparent in his tone. This time, however, I knew that he wasn't agitated at the fact it was Ichijou whom had called out my name so clearly for everyone to hear, but at the fact that the cheerful vampire had interrupted something.

Watching the tall and perfectly proportioned blond weave his way in and out of bodies towards us, I noticed how he was wearing a white dress shirt that was neatly buttoned up and wrinkle-free, a light grey waistcoat over on top with the edges of it rimmed with a darker shade. He wore a pale light green bow-tie that seemed to bring out his warm eyes, and his light hair was as neat as it always was. Dress pants the same shade of grey as his waistcoat covered his long legs, followed up by the classical black dress shoes.

Upon reaching us, he smiled apologetically. "Sorry if I'm disrupting something. I caught a glimpse of you through the crowd, Sasaki-san, and I couldn't help but call out to you. I thought you would disappear if I didn't get your attention somehow."

"Ah, no," I blinked at him, slightly stunned by his beauty but not wanting to show it. Bowing slightly, I greeted, "Good evening, Ichijou-senpai."

"Good evening, Sasaki-san, Kiryuu-kun." Ichijou returned my greeting with one of his own.

Keeping his words and tone civil, Zero questioned, "What is it that you need, Ichijou-senpai?"

"I just wanted to spend some time with Sasaki-san," Ichijou answered honestly, a smile on his face.

Zero's lips were pulled into a frown. "You spent the entire day with her."

"That's true," Ichijou acknowledged, "but also technically not. I'd say that she spent most of her time with Shiki rather than myself, as disappointing as that is."

His eyes narrowed at the blond vampire. "The reason you took her out of her duties today was to bring her to Shiki-senpai?"

"Zero," I shook my head. "Just leave it. Nothing happened."

"That's not the issue," he responded coldly. "To think that you were pulled out of preparations for no important matter, just because the Night Class wanted it..." His hatred for vampires was one thing, and his detestation at how the treatment of the Night Class differed so vastly from the Day Class was another. It was undeniable that, although Kaien tried desperately to make both classes follow the same rules, the Night Class was able to bend those rules more flexibly than Day Class students, simply _because _they were the Night Class.

In a way, it was something that couldn't be avoided. After all, they were the graceful creatures of the night. Fearsome beasts that fed on humans, yet took the form of humans in order to hunt and feed more efficiently... Vampires were scary, and they were dangerous. Even though it might not seem that way, each one of them was formidable to an extent that was hard to grasp until you engaged one in combat and saw them not as who they presented themselves, but who they _really _were.

The Night Class was no different—in fact, it applied more to them than to any other vampire I had met. The facade they put on when in the presence of humans was so irresistibly charming; it was one of the reasons why the Day Class fawned over them so persistently. But underneath those smiles and those eyes lay their true nature, and as the Night Class was only composed of aristocrats or above, it made them ten times more dangerous.

"Kiryuu-kun," Ichijou started, "as hard as it may be to believe it, I honestly just want to be friends with Sasaki-san. You, as well."

The look in Zero's eyes said it all.

Sadness misted over Ichijou's face upon seeing what I saw, but he maintained his amiable smile. "It's fine if that's how you feel, but I just wanted to let you know."

"Friends..." I tasted the words on my tongue, "with Ichijou-senpai?"

"You find it hard to believe, too?" Ichijou questioned, sounding slightly surprised. His jade eyes met mine, and I could hear the question that rang in the air between us.

Expressionless, I said, "I never said I found it hard to believe."

"So you're accepting?"

"I..." I looked anywhere but at the two of them. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say, put into this situation. On one hand, I knew that Zero would be angry, yet understanding about it if I said yes. However, a part of me wanted to say no and make this easier on myself. There were too many factors that influenced what my answer would be, and to have to present a reply at that very moment was so difficult.

As if sensing this, Ichijou shook his head and told me, "You don't need to answer now, Sasaki-san. I don't think I need a direct answer, as they say actions speak louder than words." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, and I wasn't quite positive that I _wanted _to know.

There was a pregnant pause in our conversation as the three of us got lost in our own thoughts. I had been scanning the room, looking for a specific person, but I couldn't find the familiar maroon waves. While searching for him, my eyes accidentally locked with dark, but gleaming sapphires ones, and they narrowed slightly.

Aidou Hanabusa.

I gave him a mild glower to remind him that I _was_ still a prefect, whether I wore the band or not, and that if I caught him doing anything inappropriate, I wouldn't hesitate to put a stop to it.

Zero, who seemed to know what I was doing before, broke me out of my little staring contest with the wild-haired noble. He asked Ichijou, "Where is Shiki-senpai?"

"Touya-senpai is missing as well," I noticed. No wonder I had gotten stares when I had first entered the ballroom—all the fans of the duo had been waiting their arrival and had mistaken mine for it. The fact that the two weren't here disappointed many people, I could tell.

"Ah, those two?" Ichijou sighed, looking dissatisfied. "They usually come late to these events because they're lazy. They don't really care for it, so they find excuses to not come until later. They're no fun." However, in the next second, his gorgeous face lit up. "But don't worry, Sasaki-san."

My face twisted into a scowl. "What am I worried about?"

"Shiki's coming," he assured me, though I didn't need him to. "In fact, he's about to enter those doors right about..." he paused for a second, and then finished, "now."

The three of us turned our attention over to the ballroom's entrance, where, sure enough, the large doors creaked open. It wasn't just us who had their heads twisted in that direction, as both males and females of the Day Class anticipated who would come through those large double doors.

None of us were disappointed with what we saw.

Touya Rima, clothed in a black dress that reached her knees, looked incredibly breathtaking. The dress itself had a gothic look to it, as the original black satin skirt had a layer of dark red lace covering it, showing the rose design the lace created. The bodice was scrunched up at the sides, similar to the way my dress was, and small dark red roses followed the large square neckline. The roses, at the right corner of the neckline, also dipped down lower, getting larger and larger until the point where the bodice met the skirt, where it stopped. The sleeves of the dress had slits in them, showing small patches of her smooth and pale skin underneath. The clothed sleeves stopped three-quarters down her arm, and then black lace took over. Her heels were high and black, looking incredibly deadly.

Her smooth gold hair was tied up in their usual pigtails with the black ribbons; however, instead of letting them hang straight down like her everyday look, she had curled them slightly. Her inhumanely dazzling features were only enhanced by the makeup she had put on.

She looked absolutely incredible, and judging by the looks on the Day Class' males faces, I wasn't the only one who thought so. It was like she had taken the breath out of everyone in the room.

Unfortunately—or fortunately, depending on how you saw it—her companion was no better.

Standing with his hands in his pockets, Shiki Senri had a pocky stick hanging casually off his lips. His locks of mahogany hair was left untamed in their usual mess, his expression still conveying boredom. And yet he managed to make girls melt in their shoes as he was clad in a classical black tuxedo. It was a real one, prim and unwrinkled, with the blazer buttoned and the black tie in place. It was such a plain outfit, as it was something that most people would wear, and yet, he made it seem like he was the only one who could pull off such a look. The entire tuxedo fit him nicely, showing his broad shoulders and his long legs.

Murmurs and exclamations filled the ballroom as people rushed forward, eager and hopeful to get the duo's first dance of the night. I doubted that anyone would get it, however, as I was sure the models would dance with one another first.

"Their screaming is giving me a headache," Zero hissed, getting pushed to his limits. I knew now why he loathed having to be here the entire time—actually, I broke my train of thought temporarily—we, as the school's prefects, had to stay even longer than everyone else, not only to check everything before the start of the dance, but also at the end, where we'd help clean up the general mess left behind.

Since we were no longer talking about the touchy subject, I turned around and glanced at him. "What did you expect? It's _the _Shiki Senri and Touya Rima." The two infamous models had the media at their feet, begging them for interviews and guest appearances on shows.

"They're quite popular, aren't they?" Ichijou laughed, his eyes taking in how they were surrounded by a swarm of overly excited students.

"How do they find the time to model?" Zero grunted, clearly not enjoying the duo's popularity as much as the blond vampire was.

Tearing my eyes away from the mob of students since I knew I wouldn't get another glimpse of him for a while, I said in an uncaring voice, "Who knows."

"Shiki and Rima are always tired." Slight worry tainted Ichijou's voice. "Since they go out in the day often to do their shoots and stuff, they don't often have time to rest." It made me wonder what prompted Shiki to be a model in the first place. After all, he didn't seem to be the type to voluntarily do something that would require as much energy as that.

"Then why be a model?" Zero's words mirrored my thoughts, and he sounded annoyed.

Shaking his head slightly, Ichijou gave us his silent answer.

I let out a sigh, the model's words still clear in my mind right before he had left me earlier today. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, I had no idea where to start. Getting to know him, decipher him, it would take a long, long time. I wondered if I'd have enough time to completely figure out the mysteries of Shiki Senri. I doubted it. It felt as though all the time in the world wouldn't be enough to allow me to fully understand him.

"I'm going to go patrol around," I told them. Zero's grip had slackened during our conversation, so I was easily able to pull free from his grasp. His eyes burned holes into me as he remembered our conversation, and I gave him a look that told him to save it for later. It put him in a worse mood, and I absentmindedly placed a hand on his arm in reassurance before turning away.

"Remember to save me a dance, Sasaki-san," Ichijou hollered lightly after me, the smile evident in his voice. A few people turned and glowered at me, or stared at me curiously as they heard his comment, and I gave them a blank look as I passed.

Unexpectedly, however, I came across someone I didn't want to see at all.

Kaien, dressed up in elegant clothing from way back in the time, stood in front of me with his long straw-coloured hair pulled up into its usual low, messy ponytail. Instead of wearing what the students were wearing, he was clad in a white tunic with an elegant dark emerald coat that stretched to his mid-calves over on top. Gold lined the coat, rimming the edges and branching off into large rectangular patterns. A gold cloth had been tied around his neck, its waved edges falling in the center. His legs were clad in black dress pants like the rest, however, and his shoes were relatively normal as well.

Although it was weird, I had to admit that despite his age, Kaien looked good.

Curse words swam in my brain when I spotted him, and I had hoped that he hadn't detected my presence. But I had no luck. Almost as if he could sense me there, he whirled around, cutting off what he had been saying to the poor Day Class student in front of him. He looked straight at me with an expression nothing short of solemn.

I was about to turn away, not wanting him to try and speak with me, but Zero's words resounded through my mind just as I started to pivot.  
_  
"You're running away again," _his voice told me.

And I heard my own voice talking back. _"Because I've already decided that tonight's the night that I stopped running."_

Stopping myself, I straightened my spine and corrected my posture. That was right—I had decided that starting tonight, I was going to stop being such a coward. I wasn't going to let things push me around anymore—tonight, here, at this very moment... It was going to be the start of my rebellion against my previous feelings.

Instead of trying to lose myself in the crowd, I continued along my original path, masking my face with an apathy that was stronger than usual. He watched me as I approached him, and just as I was about to pass, he uttered my name in a tone that was reserved for when he was serious.

My heart thumped against my chest, but my voice was cold as I moved passed him. "I'm not going to talk here." Lavender eyes darted around warily, making sure that nothing inappropriate was taking place, but everything was going extremely smoothly. Everyone was behaving themselves, and my feet lead me in meandering routes towards the terrace.

Stepping out into the frosty night, the cold bit at my exposed arms and shoulders, and I sighed softly, not liking the sensation, and yet so used to it that it wasn't something I despised anymore. I had only waited a moment or two before the doors opened up again, revealing the retired legendary vampire hunter.

As he shut the glass doors behind him, silence fell between us. It was a slightly awkward and tense atmosphere, where hostility wasn't present, but there was still unpleasantness. It was almost as if there was bad blood between the two of us.

"What did you want?" I eventually asked him, keeping my voice neutral. The words came out relatively civil, so I was content at how I was in control of myself.

He didn't answer, but replied instead with a, "You're dressed up."

I didn't bat an eyelash. "I'm not here to discuss our outfits for the night, as I'm sure you're not."

Kaien let out a chuckle, but it sounded half-hearted. Silence wrapped around us again for a few minutes, the time ticking by agonizingly slow, but at the same time, too fast for my liking.

"Do you really believe in all those things you said to me?"

"Does it matter?"

"Everything matters, Riku." His pale brown eyes that were almost a shade of topaz glinted as he stared up at the sky. "It's never possible to think of another people's feelings as something insignificant."

"Then how about you?"

He tried to lighten up the atmosphere as he let a dash of complaint in his voice show. "I asked first." It almost sounded like he was a child.

"I can't answer," I told him honestly, my eyes falling to the floor. The faint light from the ballroom shined through the glass panes, casting shadows onto the pavement.

"Why not?" he questioned, his head still tilted up to observe the sky that was still continuing to darken.

My voice came out quiet, but bleak. "Because I don't know."

His chuckle this time was half sad, half amused. "How can you not know how you, yourself, feel?"

"Would it be wrong of me to say yes?" I inquired, and just like that, the air around us seemed to get graver, colder.

Kaien's voice was calm, but there was also a blanket of anger and sadness underneath it that I could detect. "Is that truly how you think I see you?"

Answering sincerely, I deadpanned, "I don't know." And I truly didn't. I was torn between believing all those things that I had said, and brushing it off my shoulders because while I had felt that way at that time, there was also many times where I felt like Kaien honestly cared about me. I was being a fence-sitter, but I couldn't help it.

The father-like man shook his head and turned his body to face me. I could tell he was watching me with his wise eyes, but I didn't look up from my gaze on the ground. "I remember," he started softly, "when I first met you. Four years ago, just a while after I found Kiryuu-kun... I never thought that I'd find another child covered in their own blood like that."

Hands clenched into fists, and I felt my entire body tensing. It felt like fire flowed with the blood in my veins, scorching my entire body in a way that made me want to cry out in pain. Inhaling deeply to keep from lashing out at him again, I asked him with difficulty, "Is there a point to what you're saying?"

"I couldn't leave you like that," he murmured gently. "Such a hopeless and defenseless child. You have no idea—I won't ever forget the expression on your face when you woke up. You were so terrified, getting your surroundings mixed up. It was so horrible, but at the same time, it was nice. Yuuki and Kiryuu-kun... The three of you played with one another often. It was like a new member to our family."  
_  
Family_.

After stuttering for a few moments, my heart clenched painfully in my chest. He said it so tenderly, so gently, how could I doubt his words when he said them with such a voice?

Why? Why was he saying all of this now? I didn't want to hear it—all I wanted to do was cover my ears with the palms of my hands and tune out what he had to say. But as if I was paralyzed, my body couldn't move even an inch from my position, even though my mind was screaming out. All of this was just bringing back the past, bringing back what I was trying so hard to get over.

"That's what you are," Kaien said, and he laughed, but it sounded so sad. "Maybe you don't believe me, but that's how we see it—Yuuki, Kiryuu-kun, and I... Even if we don't say it, voice it out, you're family. You're my daughter."

He had no idea how much of an impact his words had on me, because I could see the surprise in his eyes as I looked up at him despite my blurred vision. Yet, after his shock faded, his eyes met mine with an affectionate kindness that made my throat close up even more tightly. Reaching out, he gathered me in his arms and hugged me firmly, lovingly, just like a father would embrace their child, and I felt it.

His love.

Keeping my head bowed, I let my face rest against his chest as the tears fell. Lifting my arms, I returned his embrace. "Thank you," I whispered, though my voice was wavering and rough. The tears were ruining his shirt, but I knew he wouldn't mind. As my heart wrenched again in my chest, my hands clutched fistfuls of his coat. "Thank you," I repeated in barely a breath. "For giving me the family I lost."

I shut my eyes, but even as I did so, the tears still fell. It seemed endless—even though I wanted to stop, to stay strong for him and not cause him more trouble, the tears wouldn't stop. The gratefulness that I felt towards him, the way what he said hit me so hard at home...

"Silly," he said with a laugh in his voice. He lightly stoked my hair, still hugging me warmly. "You don't say thank you to your family for being your family, do you?"

And because I couldn't find my voice to say anything as a new round of tears came, I stayed silent. I wasn't sure how long we stayed out on the veranda, just him holding onto me as I cried silently in his chest, but it lasted far longer than I expected. Kaien didn't seem impatient to leave and do his important duties, however, and it warmed my heart to know that he was putting me first.

When the tears finally stopped, we didn't move for another few moments, just enjoying the peacefulness. However, we knew that we couldn't stay like that forever, and a heartbeat later we broke apart.

Scrutinizing me, Kaien held a small smile on his face. Pinching my cheek lightly, he asked in a teasing tone, "How can you still have on such an indifferent face even when crying?"

"I—ah..." Upon remembering that I was wearing makeup, I reached up and touched the tear marks on my cheeks, wondering if I'd have black streaks as well. When I pulled my hand away though, there were no black marks mixing with my tears, confusing me.

"Your makeup is fine," Kaien reassured me. "It was probably waterproof. I never thought I'd see the day come where you'd wear _makeup_."

"Yuuki insisted," I muttered.

He laughed, his eyes sparkling. "My two adorable little daughters are growing up. It's so scary to think about—soon, I'll have to hand both of you over to your significant others, but I... I don't think I can. No, that isn't the right word. I _won't_." At this point, I knew that he had reverted back to the old Kaien—the one who was carefree and flippant.

But his words made me look away from him to hide the expression that was bound to twist itself onto my face, despite how I wanted it not to.

Sensing that something was wrong, he asked, "What's wrong, Ri-chan?"

My voice was quiet, but toneless. It was a different kind of nonchalance, though. It was a deeper one—one that was dull, one that was stronger than the others because of how often I forced this feeling upon myself, in spite of knowing how it was the opposite. "You must know, right, Kaien?"

Although I had called him by his first name and didn't add an honorific, he didn't seem to mind. At the implication behind my words, however, his eyes dimmed down and his smile fell into a grim line. "It's been five years, hasn't it?"

Sighing, I nodded my head and tilted my head up to look at the sky. Regrettably, the stars were still not awake from their sleep yet, as the night was still just a blanket of darkness. Seeing such a vast expanse of black made me feel as if it was reflecting how I felt inside, just a bit. Such a hollow feeling.

A numbness that I wanted to go away.

"You're not reacting the way you'd usually react," Kaien commented.

"I can't change it," I told him.

His eyes informed me that he already knew the answer to what he was about to ask, but he went ahead and questioned me anyways. "Are you going to tell them?"

Shaking my head, I could feel strands of loosely curled hair follow the movement.

"You know that they'd want to know something as significant as that."

"You're like her," I said matter-of-factly. "Like Amaterasu. The two of you don't think what I'm doing is right."

He regarded me carefully. "It _is_ your decision, but... don't you think it's better if they know?" His voice was soft. "Maybe if they have time, it'll be easier on them."

"They won't ever have to know." I turned to look at him, and my words struck him just as I did. The light bulb went off in his head, and his lips pulled down into a deep frown.

"No, Riku. I'm not going to allow that."

Shaking my head again, I stated, "A private one with just you."

"That sounds so devastatingly sad," he murmured softly. His topaz eyes met mine, and he asked, "Why do you want it to be this way?"

"Because it hurts less."

"Does it?" His eyes were suddenly piercing. "For who?"

The way he looked at me was unnerving. It made me feel as if I was wrong, as if he was trying to convey that to me. But I was standing my ground on this subject, because I was so sure I was right. "For them."

"Is that what you truly think?" He didn't blink.

"Yes."

"And yet, you think that as you long as you end up preventing them from hurting in the long run, it's okay for to suffer all alone until then?" I had caught onto the word "think", which clearly told me he didn't agree with my opinion. But because Kaien was Kaien, he wasn't going to force what he thought was best onto me. He was going to let me do as I pleased, but something tugged at my heart—the way he looked at me, it was like he believed that, in the end, it would all be okay.

Unable to keep his gaze any longer, I let my eyes fall from his. My heart was starting to hurt again—it was like this so often now. It was because my thoughts were being consumed by it—by the past, by the present, by the future. Each and every one of those was destroying me, but I couldn't find the strength to resist them.

"I... am not suffering," I lied. It was probably one of the biggest lies I had ever spoken, but I could tell that Kaien saw through me like he was looking through glass. He didn't say anything because he didn't want to push the subject, but I knew that he knew.

The two of us stood silently beside one another, observing the scenery that was spread below the terrace, but all I was doing as waiting for my heart to calm down. When it finally did, I broke the stillness that had trapped us.

"I'm going back inside to help Zero," I reported to the headmaster, whirling around back to where the exit of the terrace was. The fabric of my dress brushed lightly against my legs and floor. I had opened up the glass doors, the music that had been in the faint background now blasted out into the quiet night, and I prepared to step back into the mingling crowds.

His words, just as I was about to step in, paralyzed me on the spot.

"Riku, don't forget that no matter what it takes... I _will_ protect my children."  
_  
No_, my mind and heart shrieked, _don't say something like that!_My eyes shut as I felt the tears, once again, welling up in my eyes. My throat felt tight, the air not getting into my lungs. Desperately, I pleaded him with my mind to not say such things.

It only hurt more.

Not responding simply because I knew that if I said anything to him, I'd just choke up and cry again, I merely forced my stiff body to move into the ballroom. I shut the doors behind me, leaving the headmaster of the famous Cross Academy in the night alone. Keeping my head bowed, I turned randomly to my right and began heading in that direction, only to crash into someone.

"Sorry." It was an insincere apology, and I knew that the person could tell by my tone of voice.

"Sasaki."

Immediately upon hearing that familiar voice, my head snapped up to meet flat sapphire eyes, and I felt my heart jump a bit in surprise at his presence. "Shiki."

He opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something, but then he shut it again. When he spoke, I knew that it wasn't what he had originally wanted to say. "Your expression—I don't like it."

Even though my throat was tight and my nose and eyes ached, I forced out a humourless laugh. "I really don't want to hear it, Shiki." Especially not after what Kaien had said.

Shaking his head slightly, Shiki lifted a hand out from the pocket of his dress pants. Reaching out, he placed his hand on the top of my head and pushed forward, causing me to bow my head. I stared at the bottom of my dress, and soon something else entered my vision as Shiki stepped closer and closer until my forehead rested against his chest. There wasn't even a foot of space between the two of us, and his hand remained on my head softly.

Quietly, but with the same impassive tone in his voice, he told me, "Don't look at me with such an expression, Sasaki." My eyes were wide with surprise, my heart beating unevenly.

"_What_ expression?" Even though it was supposed to come out coldly, there was no bite in my voice. I was drained—I felt like I hadn't slept in days. All I wanted to do was to erase such heavy feelings. Or were they already gone? I wouldn't know, as I didn't remember what it felt like to be sincerely happy in a long, long time.

"An expression with glassy eyes overflowing with tears, like you had just lost the world."

I let out a strangled scoff, already feeling the tears in my eyes welling up more. I blinked hard, trying to keep them back, but I knew that it was going to be futile. Even though my eyes hurt, my nose ached, my throat throbbed—even though I didn't want to cry any more than I already had, my heart wouldn't let the feelings stop.

"Stop hallucinating." I tried to keep my voice level, but it cracked more than once.

"Don't be troublesome, Sasaki." I was aware of how his hand still rested on the top of my head. "It's okay to cry."

"I—" The words I wanted to say died in my throat, as a new wave of feeling assaulted me. Originally, I had planned to talk back and be stubborn. Then it struck me that this was _Shiki_—it was him showing me he cared. He was trying to be there for me, trying to comfort me, and the mere fact that he even _thought _of doing so made me choke up all over again.

Lifting a hand up, I cupped it over my mouth to prevent myself from making any unnecessary hiccupping sounds, and I shut my eyes, the tears that had been brimming in them falling down onto the floor.

Shiki didn't say anything at all—he just let me lean my bowed head against his chest, and his hand that had been on my head had begun to lightly, though awkwardly, pat and gingerly ruffle my hair. It was a soothing and kind gesture, and I appreciated him for it.

It didn't take that long for the tears to stop this time, and when they did, I removed my hand from my mouth. I tried my best to wipe away the tear trails with my hands, still not looking up. Suddenly, a pale hand holding a neatly folded light blue handkerchief appeared in my vision, and I took it, wiping my nose with the incredibly soft—and probably ridiculously expensive—piece of cloth.

Knowing that we were receiving myriads upon myriads of stares, I took a step away from him, and his hand fell back to his side in the process. I tried not to notice that I missed his warmth. Turning my head to the side to avoid looking at him directly, I inhaled deeply. "Tha—"

"I don't want to hear it," he interrupted. My face immediately contorted into a scowl at that sentence, and I distracted myself with the used handkerchief. Realizing that I had nowhere to put it, my scowl only deepened. I folded it neatly in half, so that the side in which I used it was covered, and then I tied it around my wrist into a bow.

"I'm washing it before I return it," I informed him, just in case he wanted to know.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd look at me as you speak to me," he deadpanned.

Changing the subject, I asked him flatly, "Aren't you supposed to be dancing with the Day Class girls? They've been waiting for you, and you're wasting your time here."

"And who do you exactly think has been making them wait?"

Turning to look at him with slightly narrowed eyes, I questioned, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Unexpectedly, he stretched out his arm. His movement was slow, as if he didn't want to frighten me, and I flinched slightly when he lightly swiped the back of his finger against my cheek. "You missed a spot," he said indifferently, referring to my tear tracks. It surprised me, but I tried my best to keep my face neutral. Continuing on with what we were talking about before, he stated, "No, it's not a joke. Answer my question."

My response was slightly cautious. "You have."

"And whose fault is that?"

My eyes narrowed even more at him, turning into a mild glower, because I couldn't decipher what he was saying. I didn't like to play mind games, and that was what I felt like we were doing. It was like he had dragged an unwilling victim into this. "Yours."

The maroon-haired model shook his head slightly and stared at me with a poker-face. "It's yours."

"_Mine_?" I repeated, incredulity in my tone. "You're not making sense."

"It makes perfect sense. You're just not comprehending it."

"Then _please _enlighten me." You could hear the sarcasm in my tone, and I felt guilt pound into my heart right after those words left my lips, because he had been so kind to me. This was definitely not the way that I wanted to repay him for that benevolence.

"It's simple," he stated flatly. His eyes locked with mine, and now that my vision was free of tears, I could fully admire the way his clear eyes were so bright in the room. "They've been kept waiting because _I've_ been kept waiting."

"Waiting for _what_?" I frowned at him.

"Not 'what', but 'who'," he corrected dully.

My frown deepened even more. I rephrased, "And _who_ exactly has kept you waiting?"

"You have."

"I—_what_?" Perplexed and slightly startled, I observed him through analyzing eyes. I had no idea what he was going on about, and I wasn't sure I wanted to understand.

Holding out a hand, he blinked at me. "Dance with me?"

"I—_what_?" I echoed my earlier statement. I could hear gasps around us, but they hardly registered in my mind. My frown turned into a scowl, and staring at him squarely in the eyes, I declined. "No."

No change of expression was seen on his face, and he blinked at me once more before he tilted his head to the sight slightly. "You don't want to dance with me?" Innocence seemed to radiate off of him, mixing in with his offhand and uncaring aura. It was a strange fusion that seemed utterly impossible, but somehow, it worked with Shiki.

"I never said that," I stated flatly. Regardless of what my heart was saying, the more logical part of me was telling me that I'd only embarrass myself if I accepted his offer.

"But you're not accepting?" he questioned.

Still scowling at him, I said matter-of-factly, "I can't dance in heels. I will break your toes."

"Liar," he murmured. Before I could protest, he reached out and grabbed onto my wrist, pulling me to the middle of the ballroom where all the others were dancing gracefully with one another. The pairs that were on the dance floors were composed mostly of a Night Class and Day Class student, but there were the occasional pairs that were of the same class.

Attempting to dig my heels hard enough down onto the floor to stop him, it was proved futile when he continued to effortlessly drag me along. "What are you doing? Let me go, Shiki."

"You mentioned how I was keeping the Day Class students waiting," Shiki reminded me expressionlessly, stopping at a spot in the middle of the dance floor. For some unknown reason, many of the pairs had moved off to the side to make room for us, putting us at the very center of the room.

"Yes," I hissed. "I was talking about the ones who actually _want _to dance with you."

"Are you saying you don't?" he, once again, had the innocence of a child as he looked at me. Not waiting for an answer, as a new song had just been put on and was currently playing through the large speakers, he murmured, "The tango." Quickly and efficiently, he had positioned both our bodies in the right spot to do the specific dance.

"Are you listening to what I'm saying?" I demanded indignantly, hating the way he was doing this. It made me feel like an open book when he read me so easily.

"Sasaki," he sighed. "Cooperate. Move."

"I _can't_ dance," I growled at him. "Didn't you hear me when I said that I'd _break_ _your_ _toes_? Have you _ever_ had a girl step on you while she wears these feet-killers?"

"Don't try to lie your way out of this," Shiki said blankly. "You're not wearing heels."

"I am."

Shaking his head, Shiki disagreed. "No, you're not."

"How can you sound so confident?" I frowned at him. I was aware of how we were just standing in the middle of the ballroom, unmoving, despite being in the position to dance to the song. Eyes shot out lasers and burned me in all directions, and I had no doubt that there would be many questions the next day.

"You still reach my nose," he dispassionately stated.

A string of profanities left my lips. "Nobody was supposed to notice."

His eyes darted to the side, and then back towards me in an almost guilty manner, but I knew better. "Everyone who's been around you long enough noticed." There was a slight pause, and then the previous statement was followed up by a, "Now, will you dance with me?"

"You seem to have a hard time comprehending the word 'no', Shiki," I commented to the model.

"I'm keeping others waiting," he, once again, repeated to me. The two of us watched each other warily, wondering what the other was getting at. Or, at least, that was how I was studying him. His eyes and his facial expression gave nothing away, the barrier set up high and impenetrable. It bothered me how he was so enigmatic, because it made planning out my next move much harder than it should be.

I tried to break free of our position, but his grip only tightened, holding me in place. "Let me go, Shiki. Go attend to your fans."

"You haven't heard a word, have you, Sasaki?" Shiki asked me, and I hardly caught the almost non-existent exasperation in his colourless voice.

"I heard everything you said loud and clear," I retorted, my eyebrows furrowing. How was it possible for him to make my heart race, yet irritate me to such an incredible extent at the same time?

"Obviously, you didn't," he muttered.

Sarcastically, I apologized, "Sorry. Didn't I tell you before? I don't read between the lines." Not that there were any lines to read in between.

His look was vacant as he agreed. "Clearly."

"I hate doing this with you," I told him bluntly. "We speak as if we're tiptoeing around each other, waiting for the other to take the first lunge."

"You have your secrets, just as I have mine," he responded with ease.

"But you'll slowly tell me those secrets." There was a slight hesitance in my voice, a certain insecurity to the tone of it. Suddenly, a light hint of fear jolted through me as I awaited his response, but I quickly shoved aside such thoughts. Even though I intended it to be a strong statement, it came out like a question.

Azure met lilac, and his eyes held indifferent intensity as we stared at each other, making me feel as if the wind had been knocked out of me. It was such a charismatic gaze, I didn't question why he was at the top of the modeling pyramid.

"Maybe," he half agreed. Then, as if an idea hit him, he straightened himself just slightly. "Let's share as we dance."

"What? No, I—"

"I'll use force if I have to, Sasaki." His eyes told me he wasn't joking.

Agitated, I grimaced. "Why are you so adamant on dancing with me, Shiki? There are plenty of other girls out there."

A new song came on, and it was a slow one that was meant to be waltzed to. Cross Academy was a highly prestigious school, and it was unacceptable for you to not know how to dance properly. They even had classes for those who were insistent on coming and yet didn't know how to dance. I had always thought that the Night Class didn't have the same rules or even knew about that policy, but judging by the way Shiki had said it, I was sure he knew about that small detail.

Around us, couples effortlessly began the dance. However, they seemed to keep a distance from us, like they we were enclosed in an invisible dome and they knew not to get near it. It unnerved me, because I could see their ogling even though they were dancing. Some were more graceful than others, while others were having more fun with their partners.

He didn't respond. Instead, he began to lead the dance, his body moving perfectly with the music. At first, I had refused to budge, but his strength was too much, and I ended up stumbling after him. After a few seconds of being tossed around, I had enough of it.

"_Damn _it, Shiki," I softly snarled at him as I fell into step with him, straightening my posture and adjusting my hand into a more comfortable position. It was hard to match up with his astounding gracefulness and elegance. He danced perfectly and effortlessly. I wondered how bad having me as a dance partner made him look.

He didn't say anything, but his eyes met mine and held. There was something off about him, but I wasn't sure what. We were silent as we danced, turning and turning and gliding across the dance floor. I didn't look at the people around us, because I knew that their judging stares would be on me. I didn't want to feel any of that, so all I focused on, all I concentrated on, was him.

Even though I had been forced to dance with him against my will, I still couldn't stop my traitorous heart from skipping a few beats. It was horrible, because I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be so aware of how handsome he looked in his tuxedo, or how amazingly breathtaking his eyes were. I shouldn't notice how his hand that was wrapped around mine was cool and smooth, and the way his hand on my waist left the skin burning under the material of the dress.

I didn't even know what I was _doing_ anymore.

How could he reduce me to such a speechless mess just by being so close to me?

"Sasaki." He broke the silence.

"What?"

He remained silent for another minute or so, and when he next spoke, it made my heart stop for a moment. "What are you trying so desperately to protect us from?"

Hearing that surprised me to the point where I lost my footing. Tripping over thin air, I prepared to catch myself, but it was proved unnecessary as Shiki caught me easily, his arm immediately moving down to latch onto my waist while his other hand gripped mine firmly.

Blood pounded in my ears, and horrified, I stared at him. "Eavesdropping is rude."

"That's not the answer to what I want to hear." Looking so expressionless like that, I wondered how he could ask me that question the way he did. The way he looked at me, the way his voice sounded, it all affected me so much, and yet to him, it was all nothing. It was unfair how hard I was trying to make sure he would be okay, and yet, in order to do that, I had to hurt myself.

Looking away from him, I answered curtly, "It's not your business, Shiki."

"You're wrong," he replied. "It is."

Shaking my head, I tried again. "I don't want you to know."

"You don't trust us?" he questioned, his eyes still burning holes into my face as he gazed at me unblinkingly.

"That's not the case, and you know it." I flicked him a glance, noticing the way he emitted a grave feeling, even though nothing about him changed. I contemplated the chances that it was because of what we were speaking about, but before I could complete that train of thought and expand on it, I broke myself out of my reverie.

Strands of maroon hair fell into his eyes. "You're in anguish all by yourself."

Shaking my head, I denied what he said. It was a lie, and I knew that he, like Kaien, saw through it. It made me slightly touched, because it meant that the people around me knew me so well. And yet, it was also annoying in the sense that I couldn't seem to keep my real emotions to myself, no matter how hard I tried to hide it all.

We hadn't resumed dancing after my little slip, but instead, we stood unmoving, still on the dance floor. His grip on my hand was still tight, his arm still wrapped around my waist, but I knew that he wasn't even aware of that. All he wanted right now were answers, and they were answers that I couldn't give him.

Yet, just like with Zero, the words slipped out of my mouth. "I plan to graduate from Cross Academy in two years."

His reply was fast. "Why are you trying to graduate a year earlier?"

My eyes fell from his, and my heart twisted itself painfully in my chest. "I have something I need to do then."

"What is it?"

Ignoring his question, I continued on with what I wanted to say. "Since you're older than I am, Shiki, you're going to graduate before I do. Do you think we'll still be friends at that point?" It sounded so completely and utterly foolish, coming from someone like me. I felt slightly embarrassed, asking something like that.

"I'm not graduating before you. The Night Class has extended years," he revealed. I didn't need him to explain to me what he meant by that—I should have already known. Of course, they couldn't just graduate like regular students and move on. They weren't really even _learning_. They were just here, trying to create a peaceful environment where vampires and humans could co-exist. Their studies didn't really _matter_.

I made a noncommittal sound, simply because I couldn't find a retort to what he said.

He waited for me to elaborate, but after seeing that I wouldn't, he asked again. "What are you protecting us from?"

There was a pause. "Would you believe me if I said it was from myself?"

"What are you talking about, Sasaki?"

"I meant what I said." My voice didn't waver, and neither did my gaze. I stared at him squarely, wondering what brought about this. The fact that I decided I wasn't going to run away anymore? I didn't know. I wasn't sure, but it was happening, and all I could do was watch as, slowly, secrets began to unfold.

Contemplation was in his eyes—I could catch a faint glimpse of it misting behind the blue voids that were his eyes. "Sasaki—"

"I," I started, cutting him off, "don't want... to talk about it... with you."

"Something as significant as this—"

"There is something I must do after two years," I interrupted him once again. "Maybe you'll get your answers then."

His voice was a quiet breath. "That's not good enough."

I didn't look at him. "Then that's too bad."

"Why?"

"Why what?" I asked him, blinking.

"Why are you—"

"Shiki," a new voice interrupted the maroon-haired model, but Shiki didn't even flinch upon hearing that voice. Languidly, he looked over his shoulder at the taller blond.

"Ichijou-san," Shiki greeted.

"You've been hogging Sasaki-san the entire time," the cheerful vampire huffed, pouting slightly. "I'm going to steal her away from you, okay?"

Shiki's eyes flickered to meet mine for a moment, and I knew that he wouldn't let our conversation slip his mind. Perhaps I was imagining it, but I almost felt his grip around my waist tighten for half a second before he relaxed it again. It pulled me towards him just the slightest fraction closer, and it I made my heart thump even harder against my chest. A wild fire flaring where his arm was wrapped around my waist, and I stared up at him in barely concealed shock, wondering if I was just imagining it or not. He seemed to ignore what I was trying to silently ask him, however, as he let his eyes return to meet jade ones.  
Shiki informed the blond, "It's not stealing, Ichijou-san, if I know what you're planning."

The green-eyed blond laughed. "That's true, but..." Quickly, before I could even comprehend what he was doing, Ichijou had somehow managed to slide and pull me out of Shiki's grip, wrapping his own arm around my waist. His hand rested lightly on my shoulder and he stood behind me, facing an impassive Shiki, who lowered his arms back to his sides. "You didn't expect that, did you?" Ichijou grinned.

"How sly," Shiki commented. He pulled at the left lapel of his blazer with one hand and reached into the inner pocket with the other, pulling out a Pocky stick. He held the sweet between his teeth, and looked at the both of us, silently questioning if we wanted any. We both shook our heads at him, albeit Ichijou smiled whereas I kept my blank expression.

Spotting a Day Class student approaching us, a hopeful expression on her face, I gave him a fair warning. "It's time for you to satisfy your fans, Shiki."

Without waiting for his response, I prepared to turn away, but realized that Ichijou was still caging me. I looked up at him, and he smiled kindly down at me. "Did you think I was joking when I said to save me a dance?"

Sighing, I shook my head. I didn't even bother objecting, and as the two of us moved in twists and turns with the music, I avoided his eyes. His gaze seemed glued to the top of my head, and it made me feel uneasy.

"You know," Ichijou started pleasantly, "everyone has been watching you and Shiki ever since you left the veranda."

"I noticed." They were stares that told me they wanted to destroy me. They wanted to rip me to shreds, I was sure.

"Do you know why?" he questioned as we made a turn.

"Because he's Shiki Senri," I half muttered. The fact that he was a model wouldn't leave my mind. It was something that clearly defined the difference between him and me. It was another thing for me to add onto my list of reasons why it would never, ever, _ever_ work out. It was just another addition to the box of reality in my head, just another thing that reminded me that hoping was useless.

Ichijou had a pensive look on his gorgeous face. "Yes, I suppose that's also a reason. Are you unaware of the other?"

"He's _the_ Shiki Senri," I said. "And I'm... _me_."

"No—wait, before we get into that, what do you mean? You say it in such a disgusted way, Sasaki-san. I don't see a problem with _you_." His eyes were so sincere as he looked at me, I wondered how it was possible to convey emotions so clearly.

My head moved from side to side slowly. "The levels... are completely different." I wasn't sure why I was sharing something so private with him, but I couldn't seem to keep my mouth shut. Tonight, I just kept talking and talking, spilling out my secrets little by little. I was making so many blunders, so many mistakes; I knew that I would regret it later on.

"What's this talk about 'levels'?" The blonde's head was inclined to the side as he considered me with his olive eyes. "I don't see anything about you that doesn't match up to Shiki. On the contrary, you guys seem very suitable for one another."

I didn't look at him, but I stared at straight ahead at his chest. "I... don't want dishonest flattery."

"Dishonest flattery?" he repeated, shaking his head. "That's not what it is."

"You're right," I admitted. "Ichijou-senpai is too merely too kind. Your thoughts are warped idealistically due to your optimistic way of thinking. When you take a look at stark reality..." I shook my head once again, a frown painted onto my face.

"I think that Sasaki-san, as well, is not able to look at reality fully," Ichijou said. He chuckled softly, warmly, though I didn't see what was so funny. I didn't get the chance to ask him, however, as he continued on, "Everyone was staring at you two because tonight, for the first time since entering Cross Academy, Shiki didn't dance his first dance with Rima."

For a moment, I didn't comprehend what he had said. When his words finally registered in my brain, my heart skipped a beat. I felt like butterflies had invaded my system. "_What_?"

"Surprised?" He smiled at me knowingly. "He was there waiting outside the veranda doors the entire time. He got approached by a lot of students that wanted to dance with him, but he would always decline. He just waited... Why do you have such a look on your face, Sasaki-san?"

"It's nothing." It was a lie. Wasn't he aware of just how those words were like a blow to the face, yet a kiss on the cheek both at the same time? "Why do you seem to push Shiki and I together so much, Ichijou-senpai? I'm sure you know, just as well as I do, that we are completely different."

There was a tender sadness in his voice. "That doesn't mean anything, does it?" Then his voice strengthened. "Why does it matter?"

It seemed like such an Ichijou-like thing to say that I wasn't even surprised. Apathetically, I said, "Something like that is unheard of."

"Why must it be known for it to happen?" he answered.

Shaking my head, I said, "It's impossible."

"Why?" Ichijou questioned me, the tone in his voice telling me he honestly wanted to know my answer.

Brushing off his question, I asked him instead, "Why me?"

"Because," Ichijou murmured softly, gentle affection in his voice as he spoke about his good friend, "he's changing. Even if it's just a tiny bit, Shiki is changing."

"And how exactly is he changing?" I inquired the blond, not seeing in the least how the maroon-haired model was "changing". He was still the same as always—aloof and impassive, detached and uncaring. I didn't see what was different about him at all.

Ichijou's eyebrows shot to his hairline, disbelief painting his beautiful features. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed, Sasaki-san."

"Noticed what?" I stared at him blankly.

My dance companion let out a small, almost incredulous chuckle and shook his head slightly. "I suppose I should've known that you wouldn't realize it... Sasaki-san, you're so innocent this way."

"Realize _what_?" Besides from the fact that he still wasn't informing me about what was going on, the fact that he had called me _innocent_ had me at a mix between staring at him in a dumbfounded manner or cowering away from him. I wasn't sure if he was kind to the point where he was naive, or if he was just plain stupid.

His lips curled up into a smile. "The fact that you've been popular with the males tonight."

I didn't get it. "Huh?"

"You see," he tried to explain, "you've been getting a lot of... attention. From, well, the male population."

"_Why_?" I asked, the horror seeping into my tone even though I tried so hard for it not to. Glancing down at myself, I wondered if it was the dress. I knew that I really shouldn't have worn it. Or was it the goddamn curled hair that Yuuki had done for me? Did I look like a ghost because the makeup that I had applied actually got messed up when I cried?

It wasn't as if I would care about any of it that—except for the fact that I had been associating myself _the_ Shiki Senri. The fact that I looked so horrible and had been so close to him... it made me feel so humiliated.

"Ah, Sasaki-san, I think you've got the wrong idea," Ichijou murmured, his voice slightly strained. When I looked up at him, his eyes were sparkling, and there was a slight smile on his face. "It's not as if you're attracting attention because you don't look nice. Rather, it's quite the opposite."

Stunned, I said the only word my mind could conjure up. "What?"

"You might not have noticed," Ichijou said with a small laugh, "but Shiki sure did. He normally wouldn't let it affect him, but..."

At this point in time, I was wondering what the blond vampire in front of me was _thinking_, let alone speaking out loud. Did he hit his head? "It _didn't _affect him."

Shaking his head, Ichijou disagreed, "You might not be able to see it, but it does. Like I said, you're changing him."

"Why is change such a good thing?" I had _no_ idea what he was spewing on about, but I really didn't know if I wanted to find out. He was giving me an opening away from the topic of Shiki, and I didn't even care that it would lead to even more uncomfortable subjects—all I knew was that I was going to take that escape and just try to drop the topic of the apathetic vampire.

Speaking of Shiki and hearing things like that only made my heart hurt a bit more than it needed to.

His green eyes drilled holes into the top of my head. "Do you not like change?"

"Everything doesn't always change for the better." Something inside me sparked at that moment, and instinctively, I tensed. Looking around me, I tried to find her. It didn't take too long, since her presence was something hard to miss.

There, with a coy smile layered with a sinister air, was Akui. There was no doubt that she was inhumanely beautiful, like most vampires were. Dressed up in a tight black dress that clung to her like second skin and showed off her curvaceous figure, she danced gracefully with Shiki. Her dark hair had been tied up into an elegant bun at the side of her head, showing her slender neck and bare shoulders. Her eyes were rimmed with eyeliner, and those dark violet eyes met mine with the same intention.

I kept her gaze with a freezing one of my own until our views were blocked by our respective partners. My face twisted into a scowl, and I stopped dancing. I certainly didn't like the way she was so close to him and the way she looked like she was trying to seduce him. I didn't like how she looked at him—like he was a piece of meat. I hated everything about her.

Something bitter welled up inside me as my eyes followed the two of them. They were dancing with Shiki's back to me, so I had no idea what his expression was like, but I couldn't help but wonder how much he'd be enjoying the dance with her. After all, she had it all, didn't she? She was trying so desperately to get his attention, and Shiki wasn't stupid enough to not notice it.

And when she leaned in closer to him, all I wanted to do was break her neck in half.

"What's wrong, Sasaki-san?"

"Sorry, Ichijou-senpai." I looked up at him, barely controlled anger in my voice. It took all the willpower I had to tear my eyes away from the duo. I didn't know what happened, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know, either. The thought of them being so close together made me feel sick to my stomach. My heart clenched a bit in my chest, causing a foreign kind of pain there. "I have something I need to do." I didn't wait for his reply as I pulled away from his grip and turned away, weaving my way through the dancing couples and off the dance floor. I moved quickly, despite the burden of the dress, and I saw Kaname dancing with Yuuki.

She looked happy. Her face was flushed, and I could tell she was incredibly nervous, but she was happy. And he gazed at her with a look so tender yet sad, I wondered if he knew that it was heartbreaking to those who could see it.

As much as I wanted to stop and observe the two of them, I knew that I couldn't. Tearing my eyes away, I hastily began to make my way through the tables, ignoring those around me. I had just about reached the veranda doors when, suddenly, a figure stepped in front of me.

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

"Move. You're in the way."

"There's something unpleasant in the air. It's bothering me."

"I need to do something, Aidou-senpai." I examined the ice-controlling noble in front of me, staring at me with such a rare expression on his face. "Your fans would be heartbroken if they saw you with such a face."

He only frowned deeper. "Sasaki—"

I didn't hesitate as I moved towards him, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him out of the way before he could expect it. Before he could regain his balance, I had already opened up the patio doors and ran out. Not paying the cold any mind, I jumped over the fenced ledge of the veranda, dropping a good three floors before I landed on my feet. Not letting another second pass, I ran down the cement pavement quickly, going anywhere as long as I was far enough away from the ballroom where prying ears and eyes were.

Tingles, and then, _"So you knew all along?"_

I let out a bitter laugh. _How could I not? Don't think that I'm so easily deceived._  
_  
"I'm sorry."_Amaterasu's voice was full of regret. _"I didn't think that it would happen like this."_

Anger bubbled inside me. _I don't want to hear your apologies._

A sorrowful tone was in her voice as she said, _"That's right... After all, they're just words. I know what you're thinking—that if I was truly sorry, I'd disappear. But I..."_

You want to live,

I finished for her curtly. _There's nothing wrong with that. You want to avenge the one you love, no matter what. It's admirable how you're still so loyal to him._  
_  
"To think you can say such things when I'm using you like this..._"  
_  
It's been five years, Amaterasu. I have been running for that long. I'm not going to hope anymore that the end isn't coming. It's going to be starting soon—it's time for me to grow up. I... am going to fulfill my role._  
_  
"You say that," _she murmurs softly, delicately, _"but your heart is crying an endless river."_

Would it be too much if I were to ask you for a favour, after we have won?

"You sound so confident that we will triumph."

By now, my feet had unconsciously brought me back to the familiar path leading to the clearing with the oak tree. I pushed away the branches that blocked my path, and I ignored the way my dress was getting dirty. _That's because I _am_ confident. It's not a choice, Amaterasu. Victory _will_be ours._

"Why are you so certain? This arrogance—it is so rarely shown in you, Riku."

Because I know that

they_ are with me. I'm sure, because I know they're standing behind me, supporting me. And it will be the last thing I do, so I want to do it right._

"You gain your strength from your friends, and yet, you won't reveal to them—"

No, I won't. Even if they knew, nothing would change. I'm sure you know this is something I need to do, as well.

"Compared to that, living on with your friends should be of higher priority. The way you're going about doing things... I do not understand."

You're not supposed to,

I answered, finally stumbling through the last few branches into the clearing. It was so serene, so quiet, and I approached the large oak in the middle of the clearing with footsteps softened by the grass underneath.

I didn't need to wait long, as just a moment later, her presence was felt. I lifted my head and saw her sitting on a branch on the oak tree, her legs folded over one another's. She smiled down at me in a way that looked like she was snarling.

"What's with that scary look, Riku?" She grinned at me. "Aren't you happy to see me? I'm all dressed up, too. I think it matches me well."

"No. It's disgusting." I looked away from her, not because I was afraid, but because seeing her made me feel so livid, yet so depressed. Uncaring about how I would ruin my dress, I turned my back to the trunk and sat down, pulling my knees halfway to my chest. I was glad that I was wearing such a long dress, as it prevented me from feeling the coldness of the night.

She giggled in a sickeningly sweet way. "How cruel."

"I'm not here to discuss this with you," I told her flatly, curtly.

"But I want to play," she said in her high soprano voice. I could hear her shifting, and then her legs being swung back and forth.

Leaning my head against the tree trunk, I stared up at the night sky. "Where is she? Is she sleeping inside you?" I asked her quietly, the words being forced out of my mouth. It made me sick to think about it.

Although her voice was light, there was an underlying tone of seriousness tainted with bloodlust. "Who are you speaking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me," I growled at her, feeling my chest tighten. "Aoi."

"Oh?" her voice was slightly intrigued. "So you already knew?"

I let out a scoff. "You act nothing like her. Don't put yourself in the same category as her."

"My, my. Are you sure that you should be hostile towards me? After all, I _am_using her body. For all you know, I could kill her right now." Akui's voice was hateful, and then the scent of blood that filled the air.

Immediately, my head whirled up to see what had happened. She had pierced the skin on her palm, letting the blood run easily down her hand. She laughed when she saw me glowering at her, and she lifted her hand to her mouth, licking away the blood. It was impossible for a vampire to feed off oneself, but it didn't mean that they couldn't consume their own blood.

"You look so scary," she murmured against her bloodied palm. "Aren't you the one who fractured my nose just a few days ago?"

"It's different," I excused.

Akui looked at me with dark eyes that glowed red. "Is it? And why is that?"

"Aoi will understand." I turned away from her again. "I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you."

She laughed, and the sound was wrapped in malice. "You've got a lot of guts, Riku. What makes you think you can come around, demanding answers from me, and yet not answering mine?"

"So you already know what I want." I wasn't surprised at all. "That makes it easier."

"Does it hurt, seeing your sister like this? I wonder... What have you always thought about her? Did you think she had died as well? She asked for you a lot before. It was a pathetic sight to behold. Never would I have thought I'd come to rest inside a vessel such as her." Akui's voice got more bitter and dangerous after every word.

My eyes flashed with anger. "Then why must you stay in her? You should know already that it won't change anything."

"You can kill me?" Akui's voice was light, and the amusement in her voice was overflowing. She threw her head back and laughed outrageously loud, no restraint whatsoever. "How heartless. Even if it's a joke, to say you can kill your own sister..."

"It's not a joke." My voice was flat, but my resolve was strong and unwavering. This was something that I had decided on already for a long time. That no matter what, I would end this. The war between the two sorceresses... I would help Amaterasu triumph and bask in her victory. I would help her win, and in the end, we would be free of one another.

"Is that so?" All trace of laughter left her voice, and as she glowered at me with eyes that my sister had, I could only steel my heart and stare back. It was no time to let myself hesitate. Uncertainty would lead to crumbling.

"Chikafuji Akui... I will have your head." It was said lifelessly, tonelessly, indifferently. Yet, inside my heart, something stirred. I pushed it away. I knew that it would be best. It would be what she wanted.

"You can go ahead and try," she retorted, smiling at me sadistically. "But that's only if I don't destroy you, first."

My stare was glacial. "When that day comes where we can genuinely harm one another... I won't hold back."

"As neither will I," Akui responded, the smile still on her face. "Though I'm surprised you can say such a thing when I'm holding the body of your sister hostage. Even for you, that is cold."

"Like I said, I don't need to explain myself to you." I didn't tear my eyes away from her, even though I knew we wouldn't be able to truly kill one another until the right time came. Something prevented us from doing so, like a spell had been cast upon us that told us we couldn't truly fight until the designated time.

All those things she had done in the past were such petty things. It was like child's play compared to what awaited us in a few years, when the true battle would finally begin. All those years, I had been waiting for that time to come. Now, it was looming closer and closer, and yet, why didn't I feel any gladness?

"They're coming," she smirked. "I suppose the smell of my blood has caused uproar."

"Who's coming?" I asked flatly, because even though I had enhanced senses, they couldn't match those of a vampire.

"Do you really want to know?" She giggled when she saw the glower I shot her. "The three of them—the hunter, the blond, and the delicious-looking model. You seem to have a strong attachment to that one."

"If you so much as harm a single hair on their heads, I will make sure you die a painful death, Akui." Venom was injected into my usually plain tone, even though I hadn't meant for it to. It was hard to keep calm when dealing with something as frustrating as she was. Everything about her made me want to rip her to shreds right at this very moment.

She laughed. "The fact that you're so protective makes me want to take him away even more." She hopped down from the branch, landing silently in front of me. Her black dress, which had glitter splattered all over it, sparkled like diamond dust had been glued onto it. Towering over me despite her small figure, she leaned down so that our noses were almost touching. "Can I?"

I wanted to tell her no. I wanted to tell her that no matter what, she couldn't lay hands on Shiki with those sorts of intentions in mind. The urge to tell her that he was mine was so strong, and yet I couldn't say any of that, because he _wasn't_ mine. Shiki wasn't an object that belonged to me, nor were we one another's significant mate. If he was interested in Akui, I had no say in it. I had no _right _to protest, if she was the one he wanted.

So, despite how everything in my body screeched at me, I looked at her in the eyes and said, "He is not an object to be obtained."

"Are you sure it's okay if I snatch him away from you?" Akui grinned. Her hands came up to cradle my face gently, and I could see the craving she had reflected in her eyes. There was a thirst for blood to be spilled in a way that meant she was murdering people, yet there was another bloodlust within her. I knew she was waiting to sink her fangs into me, to know that she would be drinking from the vessel that held her eternal enemy.

There was a click, and Akui's eyes darted to the side, where Zero stood with his Bloody Rose pointed straight at her head. I looked down, away from her face, as she straightened herself out into a standing position.

"Drinking blood on grounds is forbidden, vampire."

"Nothing would've happened, Zero," I told him, gazing my hands, which were clenched fists resting on my bent knees.

Ichijou's voice was sombre. "We were wondering what was going on. To stumble across this sort of scene..."

"We're fine." I lightly pushed myself off of the ground with my newly unclasped hands, standing up. I brushed the back of my dress lightly, wanting to get rid of all the dirt and grass that would have gotten on it, though I didn't necessarily care.

"Yes, don't worry. Nothing happened between us. I was merely careless," Akui smiled sweetly at everyone, her voice laced with an overdose of honey and sugar. It made me sick, watching her. To see her say those things with Aoi's voice... I looked away from her.

"Zero, what about prefect duty?" I inquired, wondering who was keeping watch. Though I doubted the Night Class would misbehave due to Kaname's presence, it was still more reassuring to have a prefect there to keep watch just in case.

"The Headmaster's there," Zero notified me. "Though, if we're done here, we should go back."

Nodding, I agreed. "Yeah." I headed towards the silver-haired teenager, passing Akui on my way towards him. She smiled at me evilly, not bothering to conceal it, as nobody could see that look but I.

"Sasaki." Shiki's voice had me looking over my shoulder at him. He stood there, hands in his pockets beside Ichijou. His eyes weren't looking at me, but at something else. "Your dress is ripped."

"Is it?" I asked him uncaringly. I looked down at the dark burgundy dress that had numerous pick-ups on it, golden rhinestones clustering into small designs at each pick-up point. Like most dresses, it was made of satin or silk, whichever one had no significance to me. It was an off-shoulder dress, the sleeves made of a more transparent material, but was the same dark colour. I spotted the rip that Shiki was speaking of, but it wasn't a large one.

Ichijou blinked, realizing it now as well. "I can sew that for you if you'd like, Sasaki-san. After all, it's a really pretty dress. You look extremely prett—"  
Not wanting to hear the rest of that sentence, I quickly intervened. "Thank you, Ichijou-senpai, but I think I'll fix the dress myself. I'll be going ahead with Zero." Quickly grasping my childhood friend's arm, I hastily dragged him away from the three vampires, all of whom watched the scene.

"Sasaki."

My footsteps halted at the sound of his melodic voice saying my name. I hated the way it seemed to roll off his tongue so easily, so naturally. It made me feel like he was saying it with more care, with more affection, than other people's names, and I knew that he wasn't. Without looking over at him, I asked, "What?"

There was no response. It was just silent between all five of us. Confusion entered my system—why would he call my name and not say anything? My grip loosened on Zero's arm as I turned around, wondering what was going on.

"Shiki, what do you—" I stopped short as he began heading towards me in his graceful, silent strides. My heart gave a thump when I took in the way his eyes were shining with an intensity in them that almost had my throat closing up. Something about his eyes made me feel like he was looking straight into me, breaking down all the barriers and all the walls along the way.

"I told you earlier," he commented flatly as he stopped a few steps in front of me. "I'd appreciate it if you looked at me when we speak." I wanted to ask him if he had just stood there, waiting for me to turn around and look at him, and that it was stupid of him if that was what he did. Yet, looking up at his perfect features, the snarky remark died in my throat.

Trying to sound like I always did, I repeated what I was about to ask him earlier before the shock of seeing him heading towards me had broken my sentence off. "What do you want?"

"I forgot to tell you something." His head tilted to the sight slightly as his dazzling pale azure eyes scrutinized me in a way that had me feeling more than just a little bit self-conscious.

Curiosity flashed through me, and I struggled to push it down. "What'd you forget to say?"

Unexpectedly, he stepped even closer. The tips of his dress shoes met the front ends of my dress, his body so close to mine that all it'd take was just a small move to erase the space between us. I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest, and I felt like I would burst if he moved any closer. His tantalizing scent invaded my nose, and it smelt so amazing, I would've melted if I wasn't so adamant on trying to look unaffected.

"W-What are you doing?" I strangled out, my face flooding with warmth at his closeness. I couldn't decide whether I loved how close he was or how much I hated it. I felt like my mind was going haywire. I automatically attempted to move back and create some space between us, but his hand shot out and grabbed onto my wrist. In one swift movement, he pulled me to him, and I crashed into his broad chest just as his strong arms wrapped around me. I felt the breath leave my lungs, and it seemed like no oxygen could get through my throat.

The feeling of being pressed up against him made me feel like I was about to get a heart attack.

Alarm bells rang in my head, and my mind screamed at me to push him away and yell at him to get off of me. I was hyper aware of everything regarding the maroon-haired model, and I had a lightheaded feeling entering my mind. I didn't know what to do—hug him back? I couldn't do something like that, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him to let me go, either.

"S-Shiki?" I almost slapped myself for stammering.

He didn't respond for a moment, but his grip on me tightened just slightly. He rested his chin on my shoulder, turning his face inwards to face my neck. He was a vampire, and for just a fleeting second, I wondered if he was about to sink his fangs into me. Yet just as quickly as that thought came, it left. There was no way that he would want my blood—after all, my blood didn't smell appetizing to vampires in the least.

His cool breath fanned the exposed skin of my neck, and I shuddered against my will. My face was still flaming, and my throat was closed to prevent me from saying anything. Did the goddamn model even know how much he was affecting me right now?

"Sasaki?" he murmured softly, his soft strands of mahogany hair tickling my skin. When I didn't respond simply because I was too speechless, he let out a quiet sigh. "I'm glad you're alright." Although his words were ones that should be flooded with relief, there was only blankness in his tone.

I wondered if that was it. Was that what he had forgotten to tell me? I opened my mouth to try and speak, but his voice cut me off once more.

In a voice so quiet that it was hardly audible even to me despite being so close to him, he mumbled almost silently, "You look bea—" Abruptly, he stopped. It was silent for a heartbeat or two before he rephrased, "The dress... The dress suits you."

I almost swore at him—he wasn't supposed to say something that got me so riled up! My mind went blank for a moment, completely and utterly stunned. I could've sworn that my heart skipped a few beats upon hearing his words, and he held me for just a second longer before loosening his hold and pulling back to look at me with his unwavering, unreadable blue eyes.

Although his face was as neutral as always, I could spot the hint of smugness in his eyes, and the slight tad of amusement that danced along his lips, which were twitched just slightly upwards.

And because I really didn't know how to respond to something like that, I stuttered idiotically, "I—you—_what_?"I realized that if I continued to speak, I'd only embarrass myself more. Deciding that I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing my flustered foolishness, I tore my eyes away from him.

I once again grabbed roughly onto Zero's arm and stomped away, turning my back to the aristocrat that made my heart beat so incredibly fast. Even though I knew he could be lying about it, even though I knew that it was stupid to get so elated over something so small, I couldn't help but feel my lips twisting up into a small smile at his words.

I was embarrassed and flustered, but I felt _happy_.

And even though it had only been a few seconds since he had released me from his hold, all I wanted to do was have him wrap his arms around me again and hold me like he had earlier. I missed his warmth already, and I regretted not hugging him back.

Oh, lord. It was so pathetic of me, I almost winced.

"Are you sure it's okay to leave your bloodsucking friends like that?"

"They'll return to the ballroom eventually," I managed to say through my haze of happiness.

Zero's voice was quiet. "Riku."

"What?" Hearing his grave tone, my mood died down a bit. I looked over at the silver-haired hunter, meeting his eyes with my own.

"Stop making everyone worry about you," the intimidating male said. "Earlier, we had thought you were about to get sucked dry, you idiot."

And because I knew that when he said "everyone" he included himself, my footsteps began to slow, my grip on his wrist tightening. Staring into his amazing mauve eyes, I could feel my lips curling upwards slightly once more. "I'll try, Zero."

* * *

**A/N :**

Did you guys get past the ridiculously long chapter? To be honest, I was considering to split it into two parts, but I couldn't find the right place to stop the chapter. Plus then I'd feel so mean, since you guys have all been so amazing. OTL. Sorry if it hurt your eyes to have read so much!

I hope that you guys loved this chapter just as much as I loved writing it. And trust me, I had an absolutely _amazing _time writing this!

I tried my best to include everything that I could. Some of you guys wanted Riku to have fanboys, and she does, and some wanted to be Shiki to be jealous. xD

Man, was the last part a surprise to everyone? xD

I apologize right now for any OOCness, and grammar or spelling mistakes!

SPECIAL THANKS TO MY AMAZING REVIEWERS;

**Shannyrox101, Kanna's Master, Youknowwhothisis, Lianne Sabrina, Akiko Kashikoi, x3sYellowie, Tailsdoll123, Noxly, Shadowsnow, xxmangamaniacgalxx, Tsukuda Sumiko, Jehssicka, , AliceMarieSwan, Black Neons, luvJesusInHeavn, peaches and tea, Smirk 'N' Sweat Drop, VK-fan, and Sh3lby**

Thank you for reviewing for me, you guys!

Also, thanks a bunch to those of you who alerted and favourited!

I'd like to take a bit more space and thank the following people for not only supporting me with Shitsuren, but on my other VK fanfic as well! ( Yes, I noticed that you guys have reviewed for Heterochromia, as well! ;D ) So thanks for being more than just fantastic; **Tsukuda Sumiko, AliceMarieSwan, Shannyrox101, MoonlitNite, Yamai-san ( Now I know that you read this as well ), and KuroNightroad!**

**ART**

I was absolutely stunned when I was PMed and had someone ask me if they could draw a picture of Riku. Of course, I didn't say no! And you guys have _no _idea whatsoever and how touched I was, and still am. So, guys, make sure to check out just how wonderful the art is! The links are going to be right after this paragraph, but MAKE SURE TO TAKE OUT THE SPACES! I put them in random spots. -SHOT- But I think that most of them are after "." or "/"s!

http: / icedstorm. deviantart. com/ gallery/ #/ d4jwz9z

AND ONE MORE!

http:/ fc06. deviantart. net/ fs70/ f/ 2011/ 356/ 6/ 1/ commission_107_a_by_chiita07-d4jujze. png

So this is a big _THANK YOU_ ( I already know I've said this to you a million times ) to **MOONLITNITE**, who drew the first picture, and to her friend ( whose name I never actually got told ) for their breathtaking pieces of work! DEFINITELY CHECK THOSE OUT, GUYS!

Because I'm really greedy, I want to know how much you guys loved this chapter! So review for me, you guys! **LET'S SEE IF THE REVIEWS FOR THIS CHAPTER CAN HELP SHITSUREN REACH OVER 400 REVIEWS!** I think that the highest amount of reviews that I got for a single chapter of Shitsuren would be 51 reviews, more or less. COME ON, GUYS! I want to see if this chapter can beat chapter 14 in the number of reviews!

The **question** this time is simple; **What'd you think of the Winter Dance,what was your favourite part in it and why?**

Whether you liked it, loved it, or hated it, drop me a review telling me what you think!

C'mon, guys._ Let's reach over 400 together_, and try to top the previously most reviewed chapter with this one! (: I'm going to be looking forward to reading all your reviews and to hear all your thoughts, so please review and continue supporting Shitsuren!

Thank you, like always, for your encouragement and support!

I hope that I'll be able to update soon, you guys (: I LOVED writing this chapter, and I hope you guys loved reading it at least half as much!

And I'm also looking forward to seeing how you guys feel about the chapter!

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	20. Underneath it all, You

**Disclaimer : I don't own Vampire Knight. It belongs to Matsuri Hino.**

**A/N :**

Ah, god. You guys, I just finished my midterms. xD I was dying a bit during the week, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now that I'm done them. So I've been writing like mad, and I finished the twentieth chapter! (:

Shitsuren has reached over 400 reviews to those of you who haven't noticed yet, and I wanted to thank everyone for this amazing feat! I had never imagined getting so many reviews in the beginning, so the fact that I'm here now... Well, it's all because of you guys, my amazing readers. So, like always, thank you so much!

The person who sent in the 400th review is ! And no, I didn't make a mistake. The reviewer was anonymous and hadn't filled in the name box, so it's blank. Thank you so much for your review! Although, you know, I'd love it if you didn't leave it blank. HAHA. It makes it easier to address you. But anyways, thanks a lot! You're incredible (:

To those of you who are feeling a bit down for whatever reason, I hope that this chapter cheers you guys up, even if it's only a little bit!

Oh, and I hope that you guys had a wonderful Valentine's Day! (: For you guys who are actually in a relationship, I hope you and your significant other had an amazing time, and to those of you who are single ( just like I am ), I hope you guys were able to brush off all the lovey-dovey acts and the affectionate atmosphere. I'm hoping that you single ladies and men ( if any men are even reading this ) had a lot of fun on the holiday even if you don't have a boyfriend or boyfriend! Consider this a late Valentine's Day gift from me? -grins-

So read on, dear readers, read on ;D

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER T_W_E_N_T_Y :**

_"Underneath it all, You..."_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-THREE

* * *

A blinding light chased away the complete darkness that I had been surrounded in behind my closed eyelids, waking me up from my sleep. Forcing my eyes open, I blinked blearily as my eyes began to adjust their focus. It wasn't too hard to notice what woke me up—bright rays of sunshine pierced through the thin white drapes that my window was clad in, filling the room vibrantly.

Turning my head, I stifled a yawn and looked at the clock, which read that it a quarter to nine. It was a Sunday, meaning that students didn't have classes today. Even though the Winter Dance was the day before yesterday, I had a feeling that students would still be buzzing about it today as well.

Sighing, I pulled the thick blanket over my shoulders, letting my eyes fall shut for a moment. I already knew what I would be doing for the day—going into town and shopping for Christmas presents, as the said date was only two days away. It was incredibly late to be getting gifts at this time, but I had no choice if I wanted to even _have_ gifts to give.

I stayed in my bed for a minute longer, savouring the warmth that the sanctuary provided, before I let out an almost thunderous sigh. Throwing the covers off of me, the cold air of December hit me fiercely. I shivered a bit, my lips pulling into a frown at the way the hair on my arms seemed to rise up. I ran a hand through my messy hair, padding over to my closet. I threw the doors open, grabbing the appropriate clothing for the freezing weather outside, and then made my way to the washroom.

* * *

My hand slid along the smooth banister as I descended the curved staircase. As my eyes diverted from the stone steps, they fell onto the figure that lay stretched along the length of the couch. My heart gave a strong thump in my chest, something fluttering inside my stomach at the sight of him. He didn't stir from the sound of my footsteps, his eyes still shuttered as strands of maroon hair fell to caress his eyelids.

Slowly, cautiously, I made my way over to the couch where he rested. My lips thinned slightly as I watched his chest rise and fall, one of his arms placed behind his head to provide a pillow, despite the cushion that was already there. His other arm was resting along his stomach, his legs dangling slightly off the armrest on the other side. His t-shirt was wrinkled and it rode up slightly to expose the delicately pale skin of the side of his abdomen, showing that his sweatpants were hanging along his hips. Even when asleep, something about him seemed so indifferent. Apathetic, but also peaceful. His perfectly sculpted lips were closed and the corners were tilted down just slightly, but his eyebrows and forehead were relaxed.

Sighing softly, I crouched down next to him. My hand hesitantly reached out, wanting to brush away the strands of his hair that seemed to tickle the back of his eyelids. The fear of waking him up had me stopping before my fingertips could touch the soft tresses of hair. Scowling at nothing but at my own stupidity, I retreated my hand and settled with just gazing at him for a moment, trying to memorize the way his features constructed his face.

I wondered why he was sleeping on the couch in the enormous foyer rather than in his room. It was definitely time for them to sleep, but I doubted that Shiki would be tired—and lazy—enough to drop on any soft surface and sleep for hours.

He was an idiot—he didn't even have a blanket.

Mumbling under my breath about how moronic he was, I made my way up the stairs again. Entering my room, I grabbed the thin, but still warm fleece blanket that I had folded up and placed at the foot of my bed in case it got colder at night. Running a hand through my hair, I shook my head at myself. I knew I shouldn't be caring about something so trivial, but there was just this pull that had emerged inside of me—a pull that made me want to take care of him.

Even though he really didn't even need to be taken care of by someone like me, since he had someone like Rima.

The thought made my face contort into one that seemed like a mixture of a scowl and a grim expression, but I tried to rearrange the look I had. It wasn't as if it was her fault that they were close and had a special relationship with one another. I was just being bitter about it—something that I really shouldn't be.

The model was still sleeping in the same position he had been when I had left, but I wasn't surprised. I had only been gone for a few minutes, after all. Unfolding the blanket, I lifted it up quickly so that it straightened itself out properly, and then softly left it fall over his sleeping figure. Carefully, and making sure not to touch him, I made sure that the loose ends were tucked in and that he was entirely covered by the blanket before straightening myself out again.

"Idiot," I mumbled, running a hand through my hair again for what felt like the millionth time in the hour I had been awake.

"Me?" A cheerful voice piped up suddenly, causing me to jump. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I whirled around, my eyes snapping upwards to stare at the vampire that stood at the top of the staircase, one hand settled lightly on the banister.

"Ichijou-senpai," I greeted flatly, trying to calm the adrenaline that had been rushing through my system. "No, I wasn't speaking about you. Why—" I paused, shaking my head again. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"I was just about to get into bed, actually," he smiled. Now that I looked at him, he was indeed wearing pajamas, although they looked like they were made of silk. "I saw you rushing out of your room carrying a blanket on my way to my own room, though, so I wanted to know what was happening."

Glancing away from his bright emerald eyes, I let my lilac ones fall onto the sleeping vampire on the couch. I waved my hand at the male, muttering, "He fell asleep here."

"I'm not surprised," Ichijou commented softly, the slight smile carried into his voice. "Shiki didn't get even a wink of sleep the past few days, since he had so many things to do."

"Now that you mention it... He had to go do his modeling duties yesterday, didn't he?" I mused aloud, remembering how I hadn't seen the impassive male a lot yesterday. I had only crossed paths with him once, and that was early in the morning just as he was about to leave to go to another photoshoot that they had, this time with a different director and magazine. Rima had been with him that time, but we hadn't exchanged any words except for the standard greetings. Even then, it had seemed somewhat strained.

I wondered if she knew it was because I felt like she was someone I wanted to beat, yet knew I never could. If she ever found out my train of thought, I had no doubt she'd consider it silly and laugh on the inside. After all, there was no competition to even start.

"Yes, he did," Ichijou confirmed. His voice was quiet, but it was loud enough for his words to flutter down to me. The smooth melody echoed slightly in the spacious, rather vacant foyer, but our conversation thankfully hadn't woken Shiki up from his slumber. "Rima, too, has been very busy lately. Unlike Shiki though, she's resting in her own room."

"It's because this idiot doesn't know how to take care of himself," I pointed out bluntly, blandly. There were so many things that were infuriating about Shiki, but I thought that the fact that he devalued himself so much was one of the things I hated the absolute most about him.

And yet, how come he still had the power to make my heart race? Even though I hated so many things about him—like how he was so apathetic to everything, the way he danced around whatever I asked him, the way he could see through me so clearly—why did I still have such affectionate feelings towards him?

It was so, _so _irritating.

I had never expected to gain such petty emotions when I had decided to come to Cross Academy. The mere _thought_ of it hadn't even crossed my mind back then, and even if they had, I knew that I would've just laughed at how completely ludicrous it was for the idea to even flash in my mind.

Yet here I was, staring down at the sleeping face of the person that somehow managed to break down the walls I had built so carefully around myself.

"I have to agree." Ichijou let out a soft laugh. "So, Sasaki-san, I need a favour from you. Do you mind hearing me out?"

I felt his eyes burn into me, so I tore my eyes away from Shiki to meet the gentle eyes of Vice-President of the Moon Dorms. Something about his expression instantly made me wary—the way he regarded me, the way his smile was lifted... something about it seemed so _tender_, so affectionate, that I almost reeled back at it.

Why in the world was he looking at me like that?

"What is it?" I asked him cautiously, my lips pressed together as I waited apprehensively for his answer. I was ready to reject anything preposterous that he was about to say, or to deny it, or to whatever—I just hoped that he wasn't going to say anything that knocked me speechless.

Unfortunately, that was _exactly _what happened.

"You need to stay by his side and take care of him, okay?"

Stunned, I opened my mouth to make some snappy comeback at him, but I found that I couldn't speak. I stared up at the blond optimist that was clad in his sleepwear, everything about him welcoming and casual even though the words he had uttered clearly were _not_. It took me a while to find my voice, since it had failed me completely. My heart, too, seemed to be on the verge of betrayal at the implication of his words.

"I—what... _What _are you saying?" I scoffed, trying to make my voice turn cold despite the way my heart throbbed in my chest. "Don't push something like that onto me. I'm not the one who can take care of him the best."

He didn't need me. He had everyone else around him—Ichijou, for sure, and definitely Rima. His fans were always going to love him, and he had Kaname's gang, which he was also part of. Despite their differences, I was sure that they would help one another if they were in need. Even if I couldn't understand nor see it, I was sure that they all had deep bonds hidden underneath the surface.

Ichijou shook his head at me, his eyes never once leaving mine. "That's not true. It has to be you, Sasaki-san."

"Can you not say such things?" I requested of the older male, trying not to let the anger leak into my voice. I didn't want to hear things that would give me false hopes. I didn't want to listen to things that would only crush me more in the end.

Was the amount of pain that I knew I'd experience still not enough?

"I can't do that," he rejected softly, his voice not even reflecting a hint of impatience or exasperation.

"And why not?"

"Because it's a truth you need to hear."

I struggled to keep my apathetic and calm tone of voice. "Can we not argue about this?"

"One day," he started in a murmur, "you'll realize that I'm right."

"One day?" I shook my head, pain stabbing at my chest. A bitter feeling welled up inside me, pooling deep in my stomach. My throat felt tight as I thought about it. "That day, Ichijou-senapi, will never... _ever_ come." Before he could say anything else, I broke our locked gazes and turned my back on him, announcing, "I'm going to town."

He knew to drop the subject. "Are you going to do some more Christmas shopping?"

"Yeah," I answered vaguely, not wanting to go into details that I'd be shopping for both him and Shiki today, as well as for Kaien and Zero. I had a faint idea of what to get the two vampires and for the Headmaster, but I was still at a loss for my childhood friend. I always got so frustrated when shopping for people, I absolutely hated it.

"Then please be careful," Ichijou's voice was bright and the grin I heard in his voice probably matched what his expression was like. I would never understand the happy vampire—how could he still be so kind and upbeat even though I had been so unpleasant to speak with?

I didn't deserve such kindness.

Internally shaking my head to get rid of my thoughts, I began to put on a pair of heel-free black boots, making sure to tuck in the ends of my jeans properly. I wore two thick hoodies, so I wasn't in need of a jacket, and I patted my pockets to make sure that I had everything necessary with me. Opening the door soundlessly, I briefly looked back at him over my shoulder. "I'll be back."

My eyes dropped from the blond down to the resting model for a few seconds, my eyes lingering longer than they should have. Mustering up all the will that I could, I redirected my gaze to the front. Stepping out into the cold, frosty world and leaving behind the warmth of the Moon Dorms, I stuck my hands into the pocket of my outer hoodie and began to make my way into town.

* * *

Wandering around town, my eyes kept darting back and forth between both sides of the street, trying to find a shop that looked like one where I'd be able to find something. A lot of people were bustling about, despite it being so early in the morning. All stores had Christmas decorations set up, tinsel of all colours lining the windows from the inside while wreaths were placed on doors. Neon lights were turned on, bordering the doors and the signs that hung above the entrance to the shop.

The air was cold, though it had been for a long time. Every time a breath escaped, it would condense into visible vapour. A lot of people moved quickly, wearing thick coats and having bags hang off their arms. All their eyes were lit up brightly, excitement buzzing out from every pore of their being. Many had red noses and flushed cheeks from being out in borderline-freezing weather, but it didn't seem to dampen their mood.

Unlike them, I was fine with taking my time. My movements were almost sluggish as I trudged my way down the street, unhappy that I was doing this so early in the morning and doing it without knowing exactly what I'd be getting for them.

The laughter of everyone around me and the shrieking of kids irritated me—I couldn't decide whether it annoyed me simply because I was in a bad mood, or because it made me feel even more unenthusiastic about shopping since I knew that I wasn't going to have _nearly _as much fun as they were.

Spotting a clothing shop that I felt somewhat drawn to, I stopped in front of it for a fleeting second before grasping the cold metal handle and entering. Immediate warmth greeted me, wrapping me up in what felt like a toaster. It was definitely a cozy-looking store, with walls that looked like the ones you'd find in log cabins.

The lighting was dim, but definitely bright enough for you to notice what was on the racks and set out on the tables. Mannequins without any heads—I hated those things—were scarce, something that I was thankful about. Large posters hung in the air from the ceiling, suspended by two thin wires on the two top corners. Since it was winter, the store was selling things similar to sweaters and the like.

"Welcome!" chirped a female voice. She popped out from behind a rack of fur-lined coats, her smile bright. "If you need any help or assistance, please feel free to ask!"

I nodded at her in order to tell her I heard. I had learned the hard way that simply ignoring them made them think you hadn't heard what they said and that you would actually _care _what they had to say. I had been followed around more than once, snapping at them after a few minutes of "Excuse me"s and "Um, ma'am?"s. It definitely hadn't been a pretty sight.

Maneuvering over to the men's section, I let my eyes scan the clothing that they had. I had to admit that I liked the style and the colours that they had used. It ranged from a casual yet somehow formal feel all the way to full-out _formal_, but I felt like it suited Shiki's image. Even though he would definitely look insanely good even in rags, I couldn't help but feel like if I got him something as ordinary and casual as t-shirts or something, it wouldn't be good enough. After all, he was a _model. _He had tried on numerous attires from famous designers—I wanted to at least get something _relatively_ decent.

My fingertips skimmed along the clothing, feeling the material that was used to make them. I was relieved that it wasn't a rough material, and it felt like it was made with exceptional resources. Even though I wasn't in the woman's section looking at the sort of clothes that would suit _me_, I had already grown a nice fondness for this place ever since I entered.

Not only did they not have any of those stupid, creepy headless mannequins—and mannequins just in general—their clothes were actually pretty nice. This place had definitely won me over.

I hoped that I could find something that'd suit Shiki while I was in this place. It was more than aggravating when you spent an hour in a shop, thinking that you'd find something appropriate in it for a person, only to come to the realization that no matter how hard you searched, you wouldn't find it. It was just a waste of time, and I was someone that hated wasting time. It explained my impatience when it came to a lot of things, but that was only because I knew that time was an issue.

There was too little of it.

Chomping down on the inside of my cheek, I forced my train of thought to change its course to something else, like what would suit Shiki more—sweater vests or blazers. I wasn't sure what I was going to do if I couldn't find something that I felt matched him. The mere thought of it made me want to slam my head into the nearby wall for my idiocy.

How could I have forgotten about Christmas again?

I had spent an hour and a half in that shop before I finally found something that I deemed somewhat worthy to be worn by the model, but that was simply because I had been torn between too many articles of clothing. After paying for it, I mumbled a thanks to the cashier and pushed the door open, the cold wind of the outside weather once again assaulting me. I had almost turned back around completely and entered the store again, wanting to get away from the frostiness that embraced me the second I stepped out from the warm shop.

With the bag hanging around my wrist, I once again stuffed my hands into my pockets in an attempt to keep them warm. My upper body wasn't nearly as cold as my lower body, since the only thing that stood between the skin of my legs and the harsh winds were a pair of jeans. While my upper body could be layered again and again, I felt pity for my legs which could only be comfortably clad in a pair of jeans. Layering another few pairs on would only be uncomfortable and stiff—not much help at all.

Just as I was about to continue on my way and hunt for more presents, my senses perked up. It was faint, the laughter and the chatter of others blocking out most of the voice, but I knew that I had definitely heard it. I inhaled deeply, the cold air almost scorching as it went down to my lungs, before I exhaled just as loudly and broke into a run. I didn't care that I was being rude and pushing people out of my way or the way they shot me dirty looks—I honestly couldn't be bothered less by it. They'd definitely get over it within the next three seconds, and if not, they had no right to complain about the fact I had shoved them out of my way to save a life.

Rounding a corner so roughly that I almost tripped, I hurried down an alleyway, the scream of a female growing louder and louder, yet also somehow sounding like it was fading. I stopped when I got to a four-way intersection, trying to decide which way was the right path that'd lead me to the poor human girl. Fortunately, she let out another shriek, and I didn't hesitate as I bolted straight down, taking another left and then another. Eventually, even though I had no idea where I was, I was brought to a clearing in which a middle-aged woman was pinned down onto the dirty cement floor, a Level E straddling her waist.

I dropped Shiki's present to free my hands, feeling just slightly upset because I knew that it would get the bag dirty. I had flung it aside so carelessly, it bothered me just a tad. It was stupid to think about such things while the woman in front of me was about to get her blood drained out of her, but I couldn't help it. My mind had automatically conjured up the thought before I could stop it.

Such pathetic thoughts that controlled the mind and redirected it from things that _actually _mattered were another reason why I had decided not to fall in love with anyone.

Unnecessary feelings led to unnecessary thoughts and actions. Such things would inevitably destroy people in the end. I saw so many regular humans look so happy with whom they thought was their significant other, only to be completely crushed by them in the end. After all, something like true love didn't exist in such a gruesome reality.

Something as delicate, as fragile, and as gentle as true love couldn't survive in this world.

The Level E didn't even look up from the woman. His breath came out in heavy pants, the desire for her blood emitting from him so strongly that I almost felt choked by it. Grabbing at the end of the ribbon that was tied around my neck, I pulled it off. It had been so long since I held Celia in my hands; it almost felt foreign to me.

I only hoped that I wasn't rusty with my swordsmanship. I had always been around Ichijou, Zero, or Shiki lately that I had never been required to fight, since they would always take care of it. I had always let them, since I knew they were definitely better at it anyways, but I, too, knew how to fight. Or, well, I used to. At this point, I could only hope that all the weeks of no practice wouldn't come and bite me in the ass.

The battle instincts that I had developed over the years better not fail me now.

Clutching tightly at the hilt, I ran towards the Level E. When I was close enough, I swung at him, but he apparently wasn't as blood-crazy as I had originally thought. He jumped off of the woman, who had tears running down her face and whimpers escaping through her lips. Even though I hadn't decapitated the vampire, the tip of Celia had sliced deeply into his arm, ripping the soiled cloth there. Dark crimson blood that looked onyx poured out of the wound, and his glowing red eyes met mine.

"_Don't_," he hissed angrily, "get in my way! I want it... I want her blood!"

"Yeah?" I grunted out through clenched teeth, "Well, _I _don't have enough time to waste here with something like you."

"Blood..." he trailed off for a moment, his voice desperate yet soft. However, it grew louder and louder as he continued to chant it. "Blood... Blood... Blood... _Blood_!" He flew right at me, and I skidded back a few feet at his strong blow as his long, sharp nails clashed with Celia's blade, which shook as I tried to stand my ground. I had almost forgotten just how strong vampires really were. Despite having a legendary witch living inside me, I was still a regular human. I didn't possess inhuman strength and speed, which gave me an immense disadvantage already.

And as if it wasn't enough, I hadn't been officially trained as a Hunter, so I had no idea how they dealt with the Level Es so quickly and efficiently, despite lacking in both strength and agility.

The woman, whose sobs had died down to the point where I had almost forgotten she was there, still hadn't moved from her spot on the floor. She just stared wide-eyed at the scene that was unfurling in front of her. My eyes took notice of how she wasn't hurt and that none of her skin had been pierced yet, something that I was grateful for. I was just about to tell her to run away, but before I could, the Level E pushed against Celia with more force.

Agitated, I redirected his force, both Celia and his nails flinging over to the right side, but separating from one another. Not hesitating, I quickly swung at him again. He had tried to use his long nails to block the hit, but due to my bad mood and the fact that Celia was an anti-vampire weapon, it broke through and stabbed him right through the shoulder. He wailed in pain, shrieking about how he wanted to drink blood and how he wanted to tear me limb from limb.

The fact that he was hurt seemed to infuriate him, and instead of slowing down, it seemed like he got sharper and faster. He lunged at me, catching me off guard, but I had dodged most of it. One of his long nails had tore through the sleeves of both my hoodies, lighting grazing at the skin underneath. It stung, but it couldn't have hurt more than a bad paper-cut.

I mumbled some colourful profanities under my breath, my eyes narrowing slightly at the panting, bloodthirsty Level E in front of me. His dark hair had been cropped extremely short, and his eyes were wide, darting around. His large crimson orbs were insanely bloodshot, his lips curled over large, protruding fangs. Drool trickled down his chin, a thin line of saliva connecting his fangs to the bottom row of tainted yellow teeth. He couldn't have been more than in his late twenties, but the grime that coated his face and the expression he wore made him seem myriads of years older.

For the next minute or so, the two of us kept clashing with one another, though neither one of us seemed to gain the advantage. It was annoying and nerve-wracking, since every extra second spent could be one that would eventually lead to my destruction.

Luckily for me, however, the man left himself wide open after attempting to grab me from behind. Unflinchingly, I put all the strength that I could into my right arm and swung. He let out a devastating, toe-curling howl as the blade cut into his neck, blood splattering along the cement before his body froze and then turned into dust. His dirty clothes fell on top of the pile of powder in front of me, and I scowled fiercely as I took notice of the blood on Celia.

I swung Celia down roughly, some of the liquid sliding off the blade and falling harshly onto the pavement. I continued it for a while until I was satisfied with the sanitation of my weapon before letting it return back to the ribbon. Tying it back around my neck, I approached the woman that was still on the floor.

I offered her a hand, staring down at her. "Are you okay?"

In all honesty, I had wondered what was going through the woman's mind. Why hadn't she run away? Did her instincts and the adrenaline that rushed through her body _not _tell her to pick herself up off the floor and bolt in the opposite direction? It wasn't as if she would be of any help if she stayed. It was almost as if she had been entranced by it—it was such an unusual and unnerving thing. For a moment, I had questioned the level of her intelligence.

"F-F-Fine," she stammered, her voice shaking. She turned her large, somewhat frenzied dark grey eyes to me. Her hand, as it clasped mine, trembled violently, which matched the quaking of her body. If she had been so afraid, why hadn't she run?

"I see," I commented dully, though impatience flooded through me. I still had so many presents to get, and I was here trying to decide what to do with a woman who seemed fascinated with a near-death experience. If I had to pick which one I'd rather do, it'd definitely be the option that involved less work, and that meant shopping. After all, since the woman was still conscious and had definitely registered what had happened, I wasn't sure how to deal with her anymore. I had never been in a situation in which I needed to deal with Level E victims. The past few times that this occurred, a vampire of Kaname's clique had always been there to cover up for me, but now... I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

I tried my hardest to keep from giving out a loud, exasperated sigh.

Trouble _always_ seemed to find me no matter where I went. It was almost as if Fate _enjoyed _giving me trouble and darkening my mood. I had no doubt that it amused a lot of people, but I sure as hell wasn't enjoying it like everyone else was.

Appearing out of what seemed like nowhere, a presence made itself known to me.

"Sasaki."

I looked over my shoulder at the blond, his waves still perfectly in place and his electric blue eyes piercingly fierce. Grimness s decorated his face, and he had a dark green trench coat that was zipped, buttoned, and had the belt tied. His long, perfectly proportioned legs were covered by black pants that brushed along polished, clean leather black shoes. His hands were clenched into loose fists at his sides, his lips tilted downwards.

"Aidou-senpai," I greeted flatly, meeting his eyes squarely. His light cobalt gems narrowed slightly in response, the hostility between us not ceased in the least—especially since I had shoved him so rudely that night of the Winter Dance. I was sure that he had a similar thought running through his mind, as his lips pulled down even more, pressing together tightly almost to keep himself from yelling.

"Seiren," he said through gritted teeth, addressing the periwinkle-haired female vampire that, just like Aidou, seemed to appear out of nowhere. She nodded in response, disappearing and then reappearing behind the woman. Wrapping an arm around the older woman's waist, Seiren vanished off somewhere with the woman with her before a word could be uttered out of any of us.

Ignoring the icy stare of the aristocrat, I moved to where I had dropped the bag containing Shiki's Christmas present. As I retrieved it off the floor, I inquired, "Why are you still here?"

"What do you think you're doing?" His velvet voice was more than just icy. Deep, yet not so deep as to be considered a bass, his voice was like a melody that was created to entrance women. However, that tantalizing voice only seemed to speak to me with hostility, aggravation, and dislike. "You're not supposed to be here, let alone killing Level Es. That's _our _job as nobles."

"You're joking." I turned to face the tall, undeniably attractive blond. "If I had waited for you to come and do your job, she would've died."

"Don't just assume things, Sasaki. It makes me look stupid and ignorant when you're wrong, and in this case, you are." His lips curled up slightly over his teeth as he observed me like how I analyzed him. "I picked up on your disgusting scent along the way, and you had been closer to her than I was. I had been hoping you'd be torn apart by the time I got here."

I almost wanted to laugh in amusement at the ice-user. Even though Aidou and I didn't necessarily get along, it didn't mean I hated him. Although he was rash, rude, and impulsive, his loyalty to Kaname was admirable, even if I didn't understand how he could be faithful to the Pureblood.

"Sorry to disappoint you," I said with slight sarcasm in my voice. "It'll take a bit more than just one Level E to get rid of me."

His eyes narrowed. "I'll keep that in mind."

"I can't die yet," I informed him, my lips tightening as I tried to maintain an expressionless face. My hands subconsciously clenched into tighter fists at my sides. My mind automatically flashed to the witch that rested inside of me. "I have something I need to do before that."

"I'm not interested in your life goals," Aidou scoffed, rolling his eyes slightly. His eyebrows were knotted just slightly, his eyes sharp as he looked at me. "What are you doing here in town?"

"Christmas shopping," I revealed, not seeing a reason to hide it. After all, there really was no harm in telling him about it, right? It wasn't as if he was going to try and kill me for doing my Christmas shopping on a normal Sunday. Besides, Friday—the day of the Winter Dance—had been the last day before winter break started. Many people were already packed to leave, if not packing today. Most students were still at Cross Academy, mingling with one another and saying their goodbyes for the break.

For just a second, I saw puzzlement flicker in his eyes. "Christmas shopping? Christmas is the day after tomorrow, Sasaki."

"I'm aware," I deadpanned. It was this point in time that I realized Aidou and I weren't biting each other's heads off. Our conversation almost seemed _civil_ right now. It surprised me, but I tried not to let it show. It was definitely strange, but I didn't dislike it. Arguing with someone and glowering all the time took up quite a bit of energy, and if he wasn't going to wage war against me, then I wasn't going to do so to him.

"What, did you _forget _about Christmas?"

I didn't want to openly admit it to someone like Aidou. "It's none of your business."

"I can't believe it!" he exclaimed incredulously, his guard dropped. His eyes were wide with disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. He gestured towards me, his eyebrows furrowing together as if he was trying to figure out a difficult problem. Everything about him stammered out, _"_W-_What_?" Eventually, he shook his head and let out a loud sigh. "You must be an idiot."

"Shut up," I mumbled, glowering at him slightly. I folded my arms across my chest, looking away from him because I knew that if I met his eyes, I'd probably feel more embarrassed than I already did. My face was already feeling warmer than usual.

"I don't understand how someone can forget about something as big as _Christmas_," Aidou continued on. Whether he was aware of my uncomfortable stance on the subject or whether he was really just that oblivious, I had no idea. "You're even more helpless than I originally thought, and _that's _saying something."

Pretty sure that what he said was an insult, I tried to keep myself from twitching. "Are you done? I _do_ need to continue with my shopping."

"Well, you won't see me begging for _you_ to stay," he snorted, his tone holding arrogance in it.

I almost told him that I wouldn't even _want_ him to beg for me to stay, but I bit down on my tongue to keep it from coming out. Instead, I stared at him evenly and said quietly, uninterestedly, yet sincerely, "Sorry about pushing you on the night of the Winter Dance."

Silence for a heartbeat, and then came a haughty, "You better be."

The urge to roll my eyes was so strong, I almost did it. However, I kept my self-control in check and restrained myself before I did so. It would clearly only aggravate the aristocrat blond even more, and I didn't want to have a disagreement with him. Without saying a word, I pivoted on my heels and began to head back in the direction that I had come, wanting to finish this dreadful trip to town as soon as possible and go back to the academy.

His voice had me stopping in my tracks, though.

"Hey, you. Sasaki."

I didn't turn around. "What?"

"What are you hiding from everyone?"

My eyes shuttered, and I let out a loud sigh.

It was this again.

My heart gave another painful squeeze, throbbing a bit in my chest and pounding harder than necessary. The organ would always react this way when _that_ subject was brought up. I had no doubt that Aidou could hear the change in my heartbeat loud and clear, and while it would've sent a wave of embarrassment through me if it had been Shiki, I only felt a wave of indifference at the fact it was Aidou.

"What are you talking about?" I doubted that playing stupid would get me out of this situation, though. Even though Aidou was careless about his identity as a vampire when it came to dealing with the Day Class students, I knew that he was a perspective person. After all, he was considered a genius—even _I_ knew something like that.

"I heard you." His voice was quiet, serious, but still beautifully musical. "That night during the Winter Dance, when you were out on the veranda with the headmaster."

I felt my heart give another almighty thump against my chest. How many people had been listening in on that conversation that night? If Shiki and Aidou had, how was I sure that not all vampires in that ballroom had been listening in on something that was meant to be completely and utterly private between Kaien and I? The thought both horrified and angered me. There was a wave of resented humiliation as well, but it was overridden by the lividness that welled up inside me.

"It's none of your business," I managed to get out through my slightly tightened throat. It was hard keeping myself in check.

"It's not," he agreed, "but that doesn't mean I don't want to know. What you're hiding sounds dangerous and threatening. I won't ever forgive you if you bring harm Kaname-sama's way."

Body stiffened, I spoke in a rigid monotone. "Don't worry. I'll be glad to keep your precious Pureblood out of my own private matters—now, if only he'd _stay _out."

"Don't speak so disrespectfully of Kaname-sama," Aidou half-snarled. I didn't need to look at him to know he had a furious expression on his angelically handsome face. "Don't just blame him as you like, Sasaki! It's not Kaname-sama's fault, and you know it."

"You're right," I didn't deny it. "It's all my fault. Everything that's _already _happened, things that _will_ happen, things that are _currently _happening... I'm to blame for it all." I half-turned my body to meet his gaze with an indifferent, yet somewhat resigned expression of my own. "And I'm sorry for it."

The blond vampire looked slightly taken aback at my words, his eyes scrutinizing my expression cautiously. His hands were still balled up into fists, and a vicious look was plastered along this face. "What's wrong with you, Sasaki? You're making me so mad right now, I can't even _express _how angry I am!"

"I admitted that it's my fault," I pointed out, staring at him with mildly furrowed eyebrows. Why was he so angry? Even though he had been the one who wanted me to take the blame, now that I had accepted and announced that it was indeed my fault, why was he staring at me like he wanted to do nothing more than deck me in the eye?

"That's why I'm angry!" he exclaimed in frustration, stomping over to me. I watched him approach warily, standing my ground even though all I really wanted to do was take a few steps back to create more distance between us. His footsteps were loud, forceful, and heated, but somehow he still looked incredibly graceful. He stopped when the tips of our shoes were only an inch away from touching one another, thrusting his attractive face right up close to mine. I craned my neck back, trying to avoid him. His eyes were glowing as they meant mine, but they weren't sparkling in happiness. Rather, they expressed everything about just how exasperated he was with me.

How was it that, despite disliking me and insulting me so often, he could still march up to me and stay so close? I had always been under the impression that being within a ten meter radius of me would have him gagging in revulsion.

Even though I was uncomfortable with how he had invaded my private space bubble, the fact that he was so close let me analyze his features perfectly. His eyes, which were displaying less than amused emotions, were still incredibly beautiful. They were clear, showing everything they felt. The pure, crystalline cerulean was absolutely breathtaking, and his pupils were flecked with a darker azure as well as a few specks of pale, almost white, sapphire. His eyes were definitely gorgeous enough to mesmerize women.

"You're so annoying, Sasaki," he told me straightforwardly. "Ever since I met you, I've found you to be more than just a bit maddening. From the moment I saw you, I already decided that I'd hate you. And then on the night of the Winter Dance, I suddenly hear something like how you're _suffering_ and how you're in _anguish_, and it pisses me off so much! I mean, what is _up_ with that?" he demanded from me.

I blinked my eyes at him uncomprehendingly. "...I don't understand."

"Oh, you don't _understand_, huh?" He looked like he was about to explode. "You don't _understand_? Do you _want_ me to tear your neck out? Argh! I'm so angry right now!" He ran a hand through his hair roughly, swiftly, and then repeated the action another time. The waved tresses of gold slowly fell back into their usual place—it looked more disheveled than it previously did, but it somehow managed to still look perfect.

"You're not making any _sense_, Aidou-senpai." I scowled at the aristocrat.

Incredulity laced his voice. "Did I _really_ just hear that? Did you just tell me that _I_ don't make sense? I can't believe _you're_ saying that to _me_, Sasaki! You make ten hundred times _less_ sense than I do! You have no idea how infuriating it is to know that you're hiding something, but know that you won't reveal the entire secret to everyone. We're all aware that _something _about you isn't right, Sasaki. Just spill it out already!"

"_No_," I almost growled. My scowl deepened as my lavender eyes met his sapphire orbs. "It's something private that involves _me_. You don't need to know about it, and nobody else needs to butt their heads into my business."

His next words knocked the breath out of me. "Not even Shiki?"

As I regained my ability of speech, I commanded quietly, "And where did _his _name come from?"

His eyes narrowed, his lips pressing together to form a straight, thin line. He retreated a bit, giving me some more room to breathe. He now stood in front of me with his arms folded across his chest, his expression one far from smiling, but I couldn't sense immense hatred or an intent to kill radiating off of him, which I decided was an improvement.

He stayed silent for another moment or two before saying, "It's clear that _something_ is going on between you two. Ichijou as well. The three of you are getting all cozy with one another. Shiki's changing. He's different from how he used to be, and it all started when he met _you_."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I questioned aloud to nobody in particular. Ichijou had said similar things during the Winter Dance, but I didn't understand. I couldn't see how Shiki had changed from how he was like when we first met, and I sure as hell didn't see how _I_ was the influencing factor of it. Even if I _was_ producing some sort of change in the model, it definitely wouldn't be a good one. I was probably persuading him to swear more often and to get angry more.

"Are you stupid or what?" Aidou returned, though there was no real bite in his voice. It just sounded like an offhand thing to say. "It's because it's the truth. We've all noticed it, and I don't understand _why_. What's so special about you?"

As if I'd know. "If you ever find out, please feel free to inform me."

His eyes were scrutinizing. "There's something about you, Sasaki, but I just don't know what. There's this mystery that surrounds you, and I'm going to figure you out."

"Stay out of my business, Aidou-senpai," I retorted, an edge to my usually uncaring voice. My lips pursed as I met the eyes of the charismatic blond. I didn't want anyone finding out things I didn't _want_ them to find out, and I especially didn't want people to dig into my past as well as my own privacy. And I definitely didn't want that person to be Aidou.

"No," he declared without feeling even slightly ashamed of it. "I'm going to solve this. I'll unravel this secret that you're so desperately trying to hide. You can always just save me the trouble and tell me straight out, though."

My teeth were clenched, "_No_. I'm being serious."

"As am I." Both his eyes and voice were steady and strong. "Look, Sasaki, you might not believe me, but I have things that I want to protect, too. And I'll do what I need to do in order to protect those things—those people. Even if it means I'm going to be delving into your past without your consent and with your disapproval, I'll still do it. You can try and stop me, but you obviously won't succeed."

The thing about what he said was that I knew it was true. Staring at the noble in front of me, I knew that he _was_ prepared to do whatever it took to shield those he cared about from harm. It both irked me and softened me, because I felt like I could relate to him. "I know."

He sounded skeptical. "Do you?"

"I'm the same," I shrugged at him casually.

"What are you saying?"

"That I have things that I want to protect, too, and that I'll do what I need to in order to do so. That's why I'm keeping my secret—what, did you think I wasn't telling any of you guys just 'cause I wanted to see who would figure it out first? I have my reasons for not saying anything and keeping quiet."

"What could it possibly be that would prevent you from speaking of it?"

"Well," I started, "it probably wouldn't affect _you_."

A pause that was followed by narrowed eyes. "Then who does it affect?"

"People that care about me," I told him indifferently, breaking off our intense eye contact. I was beginning to feel more than just a little bit uncomfortable with the topic, so I decided to close it up. "Don't ask me about anything, Aidou-senpai."

"Don't joke with me. Sasaki, what the hell—"

"_Stop_!" I raised my voice louder than usual, staring sternly at the silenced vampire in front of me. He bit down on his lower lip, his eyes flashing dangerously as his fists curled up into fists once more. He looked like he was trying extremely hard not to just swing his fist at me. His determined eyes met mine again, and for what felt like hours, the two of us had a silent battle.

It wasn't long before both of us resigned from it.

"Even if we don't speak about it, I'm still going to do some investigating," Aidou eventually said.

I settled for saying, "I thought we weren't speaking of it."

I wasn't comfortable with him digging around through my past, but I knew that there was no way I could stop him from doing it if he was truly that determined to do so. To be honest, he could try all he wanted, and I doubted that he would be able to find out anything significant. I supposed that I was somewhat glad that he actually gave me a heads up about what he was doing instead of doing it secretly like most people would. Perhaps his straightforwardness was something that was so intriguing about him.

The atmosphere that hung around us was tense and stiff, but I was somewhat glad to notice that there wasn't any hate lingering in the air. Despite our disagreement and our anger, I felt like I was beginning to understand the wavy-haired vampire a bit more.

And just as I thought so, he began to undo the zipper and the buttons of his trench coat. He also untied the belt. I watched him do so with a confused expression, wondering what the hell was running through his mind.

"Why are you stripping out here?" I demanded of him.

"Don't start drooling," he returned cockily as he shrugged the coat off, giving me a brief glance before his eyes shifted away again. Roughly and uncaringly, he threw the jacket at me. He didn't look at me as he said, "You can't go back in town with your hoodie ripped like that, so wear my jacket. You better give it back after washing it. And you better wash it twice. _Thoroughly_."

I pulled the fabric off and out of my face, which he had thrown it on. I stared down at his coat that I held in my hands, and then back up at him. "It's fine, Aidou-senpai."

Angrily, he growled, "Just take it!"

My eyes narrowed. "It's _fine_."

"Stop causing more trouble!" he hissed at me, agitation drawn onto his face. "If you attract attention with your non-presentable outfit, then it's going to cause trouble for everyone to try and cover it up for you! Use your head—there's no way I'd do it for _you_. I'm doing this because if don't, Kaname-sama will scold me again!"

I opened my mouth to retort some more, but his pointed glower shut me up. Even though I wasn't happy about it, I knew that he had a point. If people saw my hoodies ripped up like that—they had also gained a few more slices in them during the battle with the Level E—the townsfolk would definitely be suspicious about what I had been doing.

Slipping my hands through the sleeves, I realized that it was warm inside instead of cool, although it was to be expected as Aidou had just been wearing it. It smelt good, but it wasn't a scent that I could describe. I had a feeling that it was a certain brand of cologne, though. Undoubtedly expensive.

The blond aristocrat had been wearing a dark blazer underneath the coat, with a dress shirt on underneath. There was no tie or bowtie hanging around his neck, and the first two buttons of the white dress shirt was unbuttoned. Despite the chilly weather, he didn't even look shaken up by it.

"Aren't you cold?" I eyed his attire.

He flicked me a slightly offended glance. "Are you forgetting who you're talking to?"

Trying to keep the curiosity out of my voice, I inquired, "So the cold doesn't bother you at all?"

He didn't respond to what I said, but it was clear from the way he didn't look affected by it in the slightest gave me my answer.

Silence fell between the two of us again, and my train of thought floated to the vampire I was currently with. There hadn't been many instances that I had spoken with Aidou, but I while I didn't hate him, I had always perceived him as a bad guy simply because of how he seemed to look at me. However, my impression of him was changing, and I realized that maybe he really wasn't as bad as I had originally thought.

I never would've imagined he'd offer me his jacket, no matter what the reason was. I had always thought he'd be too disgusted to do so. This incident, however, seemed to prove that what I had initially thought about him was something false.

Perhaps Aidou was one of those people that acted rough and rude on the outside, but it was just the way they were, and they didn't truly mean anything by it. I couldn't properly judge his character and act as if I knew him, but I was beginning to get a clearer picture of the noble. He wasn't what he showed to everyone, and I wondered how many people knew it. I, for one, was only just starting to realize something that should've been blatantly obvious.

After all, I knew a lot about putting up a barrier to keep others a comfortable distance away. I wasn't sure what had made me think that Aidou was any different—that _any _of them were any different. I was sure that just like I was, they also had many things concealed underneath a false face that they presented everyone simply because they didn't want anyone too close.

The more time I spent with the vampires, however, the more I sides I saw of them, and the more I began to understand them. It was something that I enjoyed and was happy about, but also something that made my stomach clench and do tumbles. Indecisive feelings always seemed to be getting in my way lately.

But I wondered about whether or not perhaps, just _maybe_, even if it was a one in a billion chance, Aidou and I would begin to actually get along.

Right when I had thought this, the cerulean-eyed noble pivoted on his heels and turned away so that his broad back faced me. He lifted one foot in front of the other, walking away from where I stood. He remained quiet, not breaking the silence between us.

"Where are you going?

"Away."

"Away to where?" I questioned, watching his retreating figure stop for a second.

"Away from you," came his annoyed response. His footsteps, this time soft and graceful, started once more.

Just as he was about to disappear around the corner opposite in which I had come, I said quietly, "Aidou-senpai."

He whirled around on his heels, an exasperated look painted across his face. He threw his arms up into the air slightly as if to emphasize how irritated he was with me. "What more do you _want_ from me, Sasaki? As if being with you for so long isn't bad enough! My beauty and my charm must've been drastically deterred by spending so much time with you, so will you _hurry it up_? I have better things to do than waste my time speaking with the likes of you."

I could hardly believe the words that escaped through my lips, but they did. "What do you want for Christmas?"

Apparently, from the look that crossed his face, he clearly couldn't believe it either. Quickly rearranging his facial expressions into something more presentable and Aidou-like, he turned his head away with a huff. "Don't even bother. I don't want something from you. I wouldn't be grateful about it in the least, so don't waste your time."

"I'm still getting you something," I stated matter-of-factly in my regular voice, knowing that with his vampire senses he would still be able to catch my words.

Whirling around and glowering at me, he growled, "I told you not to!"

"That's too bad," I deadpanned. "Consider it a thank you gift."

"What are you—" he stopped himself, shaking his head. He turned around again. "Stop bothering me, Sasaki! You're so annoying!" And then he disappeared around the corner, his tone carrying something laced underneath the irritation that almost made me smile.

* * *

**A/N : **

This concludes the twentieth chapter of Shitsuren! Shiki wasn't mentioned all that much in it, but Aidou was. To be honest, I really loved writing this chapter. I had a _ton_ of fun writing about the Aidou and Riku interaction. I was smiling a lot of the time. HAHA.

In regards to the last chapter, I'm so glad that you guys loved it so much! I'm so relieved to know that I didn't disappoint anyone, and I love how a lot of you guys liked how the chapter wasn't just revolving around the dance itself, but also many other things, too. Reading all of your reviews made me really, really happy. HAHA. So thank you so much, guys! I'm glad that you guys loved it just as much as I loved writing it. (:

Like always, I apologize for any OOCness, grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, and the like. To be honest, I have no idea whether or not I kept Aidou in character. -SHOT- So if I didn't, I'm sorry!

SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL MY AMAZING REVIEWERS;

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You guys are more than just astonishing. Thank you guys so much for reviewing for me! (:

Thank you to all those who alerted and favourited as well! It means a lot to me, too.

If any of you guys are wondering, sadly, _no_, the number of reviews for the last chapter didn't beat chapter fourteen. But even though it didn't, I still consider this amount of reviews amazing for a single chapter, and I'm really, _really_ grateful to all of you! In the future, I hope that there will be a chapter that will surpass chapter fourteen, so look forward to it, guys! ;D

The next bit is going to be my responses to a few reviewers, so if you guys want, feel free to skip this part! xD

To** Yamai-san**;

HAHA. I think when I said Zero muttered something softly ( to be honest, I don't know where you found that part, but I'm taking your word on it that I actually wrote something like that ), I meant he was speaking quietly. LOL. But, yeah. -grins- Really? I don't know. Her eyes look reddish-brown to me in the anime. Maybe it's just me! But thanks for pointing it out. Thanks your for review! ;D

To **Shekame**;

Really? Well, I'm glad that it brightened your day to have been able to read a chapter of Shitsuren! I hope that this chapter also made your day a little bit better than how it already was. LOL. I feel like a lot of people couldn't pick a specific part they liked best, and had to say they loved all the sections with Shiki in it, but I'm so glad. -grins- Thank you so much for your review! (:

To **x3sYellowie**;

I LOVED writing that scene. I feel like _my_ heart was fluttering, and I was the one who was writing it! LOL. I'm glad that you find them so adorable together! As for how Shiki feels towards Riku, well... You'll have to continue reading to find out, eh? ;D It relieves me that you realize that what Ichijou is doing. xD I mean, I think it's pretty obvious to a lot of people, but I also feel like a people wonder whether or not he has feelings for Riku as well. But anyways. Zero is amazing, isn't he? I'm sorry that I made you cry with that scene, but I'm glad that it evoked such emotion from you! I'm actually kind of flattered that I have the ability to do something like that. HAHA. A lot of your questions will be answered as the story continues, so I hope you look forward to it! Rather than have you thanking me, _I_ should be thanking _you_for your review. So thank you so much! ;D

To **Tsukuda Sumiko**;

You liked it enough for it to be your favourite chapter so far? That makes me so happy to hear! xD To be honest, when I had written the first draft of the chapter, there had been an original scene in it where he _actually_tells her she looks beautiful, but he does it in a really offhand matter. It didn't suit my taste, so I ended up rewriting it until it got to... well, yeah. LOL. The fact that Shiki danced with Riku before anyone else also made me pretty happy, even though I'm the one that made him do that. -SHOT- Please don't worry about the late review; I'm happy that you even reviewed at all! Thank you so much for reviewing for me, and thanks for the congratulations! ;D I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

To **WinterSoulstis**;

I was so worried that the chapter would disappoint everyone, but I'm so glad that it didn't! Thank god it reached your standards! HAHA. Thank you so much for your review! (:

To **OH. MY. GOD**;

When I first saw your review, I was thinking, "DANG GIRL, ALL CAPS? ;O". HAHA. I was so scared for a moment because I thought I had angered you, but as I kept reading, I couldn't help but smile. (: I'm glad that the chapter didn't bore you! Honestly, when I was writing it, I felt like half of it would bore everyone to death... xD I feel like a brought out a lot of negative emotions in you, and I apologize for that, but it also makes me happy that I actually have the ability to do so with my writing. I'm glad you love my dialogue so much! LOL. I love how you actually took the time to write them down in your review, or memorized them. I'm really touched. ;D LMFAO. When I got to the part where you said Shiki could've actually said "beastly" instead of "beautiful", I was cracking up so hard, and then I realized it was so true! I didn't even think about that when I was writing the chapter, but it's hilarious now that you point it out. -grins- I hope your view on me nailing characters still exists after reading this chapter that has so much Aidou in it... OTL. Trust me, your review wasn't horrible at all! I'm glad that my writing didn't confuse you at all, and I'm really flattered that Shitsuren is your favourite fanfic! Man, my pride's growing with your review, bro. HAHA. I love how you love my chapter titles! It's nice to know that even if you don't review often, that you still read! It makes me happy to know so. I'd love to hear from you more often, though, even if your reviews tend to be long and full of caps. LOL. Thanks for taking the time to check my other story out; you rock. -grins- I hope you like that one just as much as you like Shitsuren! If you want to draw Riku, feel free to! My only condition is that you send the finished product to me, you know? HAHA. I'd absolutely love to see it, so please go ahead and draw her with Shiki if you find the time to! Thank you SO much for you review, and I really, really hope to hear from you again! (: BY THE WAY, I'M SO SORRY THAT YOUR NAME HAS SPACES IN IT! It won't let your original name without the spaces to show up, so I ended up adding them. OTL. I apologize greatly for this! D;

Well, that concludes the portion where I address a few of my reviewers... xD

This time's **question** is a simple one; **Was Aidou OOC or not? And what do you think about the Aidou and Riku moment in this chapter?**

I'd love, love _love _to hear your thoughts and responses, so I hope that you guys will include the answer to the question in your reviews!

If you guys could drop me a review, it'd be greatly appreciated! ;D So, yeah. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please leave me your opinions. ;D

I updated pretty fast this time, I think. -grins- I hope that I can continue to update so quickly! I'll work hard, and I hope that you guys will fuel me with motivation! ;D

Hopefully, I'll be able to update the next chapter soon!

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	21. Breaking the Ice

**Disclaimer : Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino. I also don't own the Pillowpet brand, nor any manga called "Sunken Woods" if it actually exists.**

**A/N :**

YOOO! What's up, you guys? ;D Is it just me or can you guys already believe it's March? When I realized how fast the time was flying by, I died just a bit on the inside. Only three more months until we need to suffer through finals before enjoying summer... At least, unless you're taking summer school. BUT ANYWAYS.

I finished the twenty-first chapter! I'm getting so excited. LOL. NOW THE CHAPTERS ARE IN THE TWENTIES, GUYS. HOLY- NSEOBNEWONBWEB.

There's more Shiki in this chapter, but I gotta admit, it's not revolving around him. -SLAPPED- ENJOY IT ANYWAYS!

Read on, m'loves, read onnnn! (:

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER T_W_E_N_T_Y_O_N_E :**

_"Breaking the Ice"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-FOUR

* * *

I watched as Yuuki and Sayori hugged tightly, speaking about how they would see each other when the break was over. The dark chocolate-haired girl looked sad to see her friend go, but her smile was somehow still happy. It was probably because she was glad that Sayori would be able to spend time with her family. Yet underneath it, I wondered if she was lonely, since she couldn't return to her own parents.

"You're not leaving?" Zero's silky voice inquired from next to me.

Glancing up to meet his eyes, I forced my voice to come out as apathetic as it usually would. I shut my mind off, trying to push all the thoughts surrounding the subject to the back of my mind. Trying to create a blank slate in my mind was hard, but I tried to do it as best as I could. "No. I'm staying at the academy."

He stayed silent for a moment, analyzing me with his pale lavender eyes. Instead of pressing me about why I wasn't returning home and instead staying with them for the break, he commented, "The vampires are leaving tonight as well."

"I'm surprised that nobody left earlier," I pointed out flatly. "Tomorrow's Christmas. Normally, winter break should have started last week." I had always been wondering why we still had classes when winter break would normally have already taken place, but I had heard from Ichijou that the Winter Dance had been set back this year due to technical difficulties, and so winter break had been postponed and also extended. It allowed us to have an extra week of break in January for compensation of losing the seven days in December.

"Don't you have something to give your vampire friend before he leaves?" Zero's quiet voice was laced with disapproval as well as bitterness. It was clear that despite everything, Zero still didn't like how I associated myself with the Night Class. He especially didn't like how I had actually grown attached to them.

"It's none of your business," I deadpanned, turning away from him. I redirected my gaze at the two females still saying their goodbyes. I had already done so—sort of. I'd rather not give out the presents directly, so I had settled for just sticking them into the respective person's dorm room. I hadn't signed a card or anything, but I knew that they would be able to tell simply by the scent.

Thinking about it, I wanted to let out an enormous sigh. After announcing yesterday to Aidou that I'd buy him something as a gift, I realized that it seemed so stupid how I was neglecting everyone else that was in Kaname's little clique. It wasn't as if I had any particular opinion on the rest of them, since I had never really quite spent time with them, but since I had started living in the Moon Dorms with them, I had to see them all pretty frequently. It wasn't as if I had never made contact with any of them, so I knew that they weren't exactly _horrible_.

Except for maybe Ruka.

She still looked like she wanted to rip my head off every time she saw me.

But I had made a few short encounters with Kain Akatsuki, and he wasn't really that bad. He hadn't been thrilled upon bumping into me, but he hadn't looked completely angered and disgusted. Rather, all his face held was mild surprise the first few times before he managed to keep a straight, neutral expression. He wasn't mean or rude to me, and he certainly didn't piss me off. In fact, the calmness that surrounded the tranquil vampire was something that I found very lovely. It was nice to know that not everyone was always cheerful like Ichijou, impassive like Shiki and Rima, hot-headed and loud like Aidou, or someone who hated me like Ruka. He was just... sort of _there_.

He was someone who seemed impartial towards my presence, and while he didn't go out of his way to be my friend, he didn't seem to mind speaking with me.

Admittedly, our conversations had always been more than just a little bit brief, but I had the feeling that he wasn't a bad guy. His eyes had always been warm and gentle, even though everything about him seemed so masculine and strong. Although those tangerine orbs were soft, I knew that if I hadn't been so uncaring, they would be able to send tingles of intimidation up my spine.

Considering the fact that the only people in the group that I wouldn't be getting a present for would be Ruka, Rima, and Kaname, I had given it a few moments of thought before grudgingly deciding to get something for everyone, so it didn't look like I was favouring certain people. The more that I had thought about it that way, the more relief that flooded into my system. By getting everyone something, it wouldn't look as if I had something more than just a platonic relationship with Shiki. I didn't want any weird ideas to form, especially not when it came to our relationship. If rumours were to fly around, I'd hate to know his reaction to them. I could almost imagine the stiffness that'd line his indifference if that were to happen.

So I had really actually spent time impulsively searching for a present to give everyone, and let me say, it was more dreadful than I would've imagined. Not only did I have to gather so many gifts, I was buying them for people I didn't even know that well. Shopping without knowing if the other person would like it or not was horrible enough, but to do it for people who were practically strangers... It had made me so frustrated. I had no clue what they liked or what they disliked. I didn't even know what their favourite colours were. The only things that I possessed were vague ideas on what their hobbies were, and even then, I wasn't even completely sure.

To say the least, it had been torturous.

Thinking back on it made me scowl instantly. I wasn't even sure why I had even bothered to spend so much time and effort into finding gifts for them when they probably didn't even want any. Because of two certain vampires, I wasn't even sure what I was doing anymore. My brain got all messed up, even though I was supposed to know exactly what the limits were.

She was right—Amaterasu, that is.

Change.

What a scary thing.

Tingles along my body, and then her soft voice brushing my mind. "_Not all change is bad, Riku_."

I gave an internal snort. _I'm sure that's true, but from what I've experienced, the words "change" and "Riku" going together is guaranteed havoc._

_"Do you think the way they're affecting you is truly such a bad thing?"_ she questioned, an already knowing sort of tone in her voice.  
_  
Yes,_ I answered frankly. My eyes narrowed slightly, my hands clenching. _And you know why it's such a bad thing._

She gave a soft sigh. _"You're still thinking that way."_

_It's how I'll always think,_ I retorted sharply. _There's no way that I can think any differently._

_"Riku, if you were in their shoes, wouldn't you want to know even if it might hurt a lot more afterward?"_ she asked.

I didn't need to think about it. _No. I wouldn't have wanted to meet them, if that was the case.  
_  
She was silent for a moment, clearly shocked at my words. I could feel the surprise reverberating through her as she processed the words I had said. It caused her to tense up slightly, and it took a moment for her to gather her thoughts. _"How can you say such a thing?"_

_Because it's painful._

_"Are you so scared of pain, Riku? I thought that you were stronger than this."_ Her voice was soft, but there was a somewhat challenging tone in it. It wasn't clear to me whether or not she was trying to provoke me into saying something that I'd probably regret, but I didn't want to give it too much thought.  
_  
I'm not strong at all,_ I admitted bluntly. _Why would I intentionally put myself through such excruciating heartache when it could be avoided?_

_"Because with that pain comes memories that are full of warm laughter and immense happiness,"_ she answered swiftly, not even an ounce of hesitation in her wise, melancholic voice. _"Don't you think it's a fair exchange? To share your happiness with them and have them remember it even later?"_

_Happy memories would only hurt more,_ I returned. _To be able to think back and remember that person... it would only make me wish for that person to still be with me even more. It would be easier if we hadn't met at all, or if I could simply forget them completely._

_"That's so incredibly sad, Riku,"_ Amaterasu murmured. Sadness coloured her tone, and it only made my heart thump a bit harder inside my chest. _"Can you honestly, _genuinely_ say from the very bottom of your heart that, if you and Shiki-san switched positions, that you'd regret meeting him? Do you regret spending time with him, getting to know him, being friends with him?"_  
_  
... Yes._  
_  
"Liar,"_ her voice was just a breath, "_I know everything about you."  
_  
Agitation lined my thoughts. _Then don't ask me._  
_  
"You need to admit it,"_ she returned, the frown in her voice mirroring the one that was on my face. _"Denying it won't get you anywhere. What happened to accepting everything and not running away anymore? Where's that girl that stood up and faced Kaien, even though you were so uneasy about it? I want to see her again. She resembles the you from before."_

I felt like all the oxygen just left my lungs. A lump formed in my throat, making it hard to swallow. I wanted to cover up such feelings with anger, yet all I felt was numbness. I felt as if I had been standing out in below negative ten degrees Celsius for hours. My entire being felt cold, the blood running through my veins almost freezing.  
_  
Don't bring her up._

_"You were so different as a child,"_ she murmured.  
_  
Don't talk about this. _I gritted my teeth together. _She's gone._  
_  
"Don't you intend to return to the old you one day, when this is all over?" _  
_  
Stop joking, _I scoffed. _When this is all over, there won't _be_ a day for me to return to who I was, and I know that. Stop trying to implant strange thoughts into my brain—it's forcing unpleasant memories to emerge._

Amatersu was silent for a moment, and I jolted slightly when Zero spoke. I had almost forgotten that we were still standing near the gates, waiting for the Day Class students to finish saying goodbye to their friends. However, the one that Zero was addressing wasn't me, but Yuuki, who I had just realized was in front of the two of us.

"Are you finally done?"

"Yeah," Yuuki nodded her head. Her wide, doe-like crimson eyes were dimmed slightly, but they were somehow bright. A smile was on her face, but it looked somewhat wistful. "I'll miss Yori-chan a lot over the break."

"We can tell," I informed her flatly, thinking back to how tightly and how long they embraced one another. It was clear that they had a strong, close bond with one another.

I wondered if that was how it was like with Shiki.

A snort almost left me at that particular thought. Shiki and I weren't nearly as close as Yori and Yuuki—even _I _knew that much. But I had to admit; I wanted that kind of relationship with someone of the same gender as well. Yes, Yuuki and I were close, but it wasn't to the extent where I could pour my heart out to her.

It was a saddening thing to think about.  
_  
"You can never have a bond like that with someone with your current perspective," _Amaterasu chided, alerting me of her presence once more. _"It's not as if you _can't_ share with them everything about you, but rather that you _choose _not to."_

_We're back to this?_ My thoughts were flat and just as apathetic as my voice would've been if we had been speaking aloud to one another. _I thought we dropped this topic. _It wasn't a question, but rather a statement.

She knew that too. _"Riku..."_  
_  
Everything always goes back to the fact that I don't want to drag them into this due to the end that I know is inevitable. _This_ discussion was over the moment our first ever conversation about this matter concluded._  
_  
"You're so stubborn."_  
_  
When you find someone who isn't, gladly tell me._  
_  
"Well, I highly doubt that anyone is quite as stubborn as you."_

_Yeah, well, nobody's exactly been through what I have._

She didn't say anything for a moment. Then in a barely audible whisper, "_I'm so sorry."_

I let out a sigh. _We've been through this. Don't—_

"Sasaki."

Upon hearing that angelic voice, I froze. My entire body was rigid, my heart stuttering slightly in my chest. Yuuki and Zero stopped what they were saying to look over at who I knew would be standing there with the same nonchalance sculpted onto his porcelain face.  
_  
"I shall leave you for now. It seems that you have something important to tend to."_  
_  
We're not done—_I was cut off when I felt another round of tingles invading my system, signifying that she returned back to her own protective shell that I couldn't reach. I hated how she was able to infiltrate me so easily, yet I could never come into contact with her on my own. It was irritating—it was just a reminder that she was the one that was truly in control of this body that was supposed to be mine.

"Riku," Zero said lowly when I didn't make any move to answer the model.

"S-Shiki-senpai..." Yuuki drifted off for a second before asking, "Shouldn't you be asleep at this time? It's ten in the morning."

"What did you come here for?" Zero questioned. He elbowed me roughly in the side, causing me to whip my head up to glower at him.

Shiki's indifferent voice sounded slightly sleepy. "I need to take Sasaki with me back to the Moon Dorms. We have important things to discuss."

"And those important things are?" Zero's tone was less than friendly, but I was glad to know that he was still civil.

I turned around, still slightly stiff with shock that he'd be awake at this time, just in time to see his head tilt a fraction to the side as he responded, "Sorry, Kiriyuu-san, but it's not matters that concern you."

"Like hell—"

"Zero," I interrupted, jabbing him in the stomach. As he clutched at the spot I had hit, I said, "That was for what you did earlier." My eyes fluttered upwards to meet blank azure ones, and I addressed the Night Class student next. "Are the matters truly that important, Shiki?"

"Yes," he answered. "Let's go. Ichijou-san is probably whining about how I'm being slow." His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his—I just noticed—dark grey sweats. He wore a thick white jacket that had faux fur lining the wide hood, but I had a hunch that he was wearing casual clothing underneath it as well.

"Why is Ichijou-senpai awake as well?" I inquired, already taking steps towards him. The action was nearly absentminded—I just felt pulled towards him, as if he had invisible strings attached to his fingers that latched onto me and made me move to him.

Unfair.

He had already turned on his heels, his back facing us. He looked over his shoulder at me. "Of course. I told you that we have important matters to discuss. Ichijou-san would never be excluded from something so significant."

"What could be so important?" I demanded from him. He was already walking away, and my feet began to follow him. I shot a glance behind me to where Zero and Yuuki stood, giving Zero a shake of my head to tell him I'd be okay. He didn't look pleased at all, but he hadn't reached into his Day Class blazer for Bloody Rose yet, something that didn't slip my mind.

"You'll see," he answered vaguely.

After a moment of silence in which we only trudged along the path towards the Moon Dorms, I observed, "You're tired."

"I'm a vampire," he reminded me in a casually disinterested tone. He didn't turn around to look at me as he continued walking ahead, his footsteps so quiet that it was almost as if he wasn't walking along the earth at all.

"Oh, is that so? I completely forgot," I shot back sarcastically. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I rephrased, "I was trying to ask you why you're awake at this time. Can't this discussion that you speak of wait until later, when it's time for you guys to actually wake up?"

Shiki paused for a moment. "Is it such an inconvenience to you, Sasaki?"

Incredulity was weaved into my voice. "Inconvenient for _me_? Shiki, _I'm_ not a vampire."

"Oh, is that so? I didn't notice at all." The blankness in his tone that was already present didn't change, but the sarcasm that coated his words was so clear. I wasn't sure how I knew that he was being sardonic, but I just did. I supposed it was because I had been around him too much, and I was beginning to get used to his behaviour. I felt like I was starting to understand Shiki well enough to correctly translate his words and blank tones into phrases that expressed what he truly wanted to say.

But of course, it was also probably just me being unnecessarily arrogant.

"What game are you trying to pull?" I scowled in aggravation, my eyes narrowing at the back of his head as I tried to figure out what he was thinking. However, I had no luck as we had already reached the luxurious building that was the Moon Dormitory. We had easily passed the guard that sat waiting at one of the other entrances to the Night Class' living territories since we were both residents of the dorm. We made our way up the stairs that led to the enormous double doors. He grasped the handle of one and pushed it open, walking into the foyer first. I followed after him, and froze when my eyes swept across the large and spacious area.

The vampires that were the closest to Kaname were all awake and lounging around, their eyes darting to rest on Shiki and I the moment we had walked in. I stared at them with masked bewilderment, wondering why all of them were up at such a time.

Aidou had previously been pacing around, but he stopped and stood still as we had entered the dorm. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his cerulean eyes not drooping with sleep in the least. In its place was a bright, almost feral glint in those deep ocean orbs, and they narrowed slightly as they rested on me. His hair, which looked like it was made from the finest threads of the purest of gold, swayed away from his devilishly handsome features, though a few stray tresses fell into his eyes. He was dressed in a matching pajama set, and while it was plain, it was clear that the material it had been created from was more than just expensive.

Ruka was standing at the start of the stairs, in the space where the intricate banister curled outwards slightly before extending upwards to the top. She leaned against the railing, her waving strands of extremely pale straw-coloured hair cascading down her shoulders and back. Some wisps fell into her eyes that were tinted with what looked like immense agitation. The glower she shot at me showed me that she was not the least bit happy about my presence. Her perfect lips were pressed together into a tight line that was pulled downwards. A pale pink nightgown fitted over her perfectly shaped physique, the material falling down to mid-thigh. A white shawl made of the same material was draped over her shoulders delicately, and she held the two ends together in front of her chest with a hand.

With an indifferent face that matched the one that Shiki always had painted on so well, Rima sat on the second step that ascended upwards of the staircase. Her long, slender legs were uncovered and they touched the ground easily. Her hands, which were loosely curled, rested on her lap, and her expression would've given away nothing at all if it hadn't been for the downward tilt at the corners of her smooth, carefully shaped lips. Her dark orange-gold hair that was normally seen tied into two pigtails on either side of her head was left down, the ruler-straight strands falling delicately over her rather bare shoulders. She didn't have a shawl wrapped around her to keep her from the cold of the morning, but she didn't seem to notice it despite only wearing a black nightgown that held a layer of black lace over it. Her eyes, though just as blank and cautiously nonchalant as Shiki's, were a deeper shade of sapphire, and they narrowed just a tad as they landed on me.

Sitting down in a rather lethargic manner and looking just as serene as he always did was Akatsuki. He had one of his immensely long legs propped up to rest against the knee of the other. Both of his arms were stretched out along the back of the couch, his head tipped back. His breathtaking gold eyes slid to meet mine through the corner of his vision, not changing his position. His waves of tangerine were swaying away from his eyes, so it gave me a clear look at them. Unlike the first two, he didn't seem to emit any hostile feelings or any displeasure. The emotions that were displayed in his eyes seemed more like confusion and mild surprise, but that seemed to be about it. His expression didn't change in the least upon my arrival, his look still solemn and slightly lazy. The buttons of his black satin nightwear were undone until halfway down his chest, and a pair of white pants made of the same material covered his legs.

Next, my eyes fell onto the male that sat with one leg folder over the other on the coffee table, the man clothed in a set of matching emerald sleepwear. He had propped an elbow up onto the knee of the top leg, resting his chin into the palm of his hand. A wide, bright smile adorned his inhumanly angelic face, the smile itself almost so beautiful that it was blinding. Ichijou's wide, but charismatic forest eyes were sparkling like facets on a jewel that got hit by the light. His usually neat sun-kissed hair looked just the slightest bit tousled and out of place, but it didn't seem completely unfit for him. He radiated a beaming aura of happiness that made the sun look shameful. He made it seem like there was nothing wrong in the world. His emotions were so different from Aidou and Ruka's, I couldn't help but wonder what was up with their different moods. If it was something so serious, could Ichijou truly look so carefree and delighted?

I took a mental note that the dark brunette with the dark ruby eyes was nowhere to be seen.

As a movement in my peripheral vision took my attention, my eyes darted away from Ichijou to rest on Shiki, who had removed his coat and hung it on the coat hanger by the door. The same impassiveness surrounded him, his eyes meeting mine in a way that told me nothing. His disheveled maroon locks had been tossed around a bit more by the wind on our way up, making it even messier than before. I couldn't help but notice that even though he could've, he hadn't moved to take a seat next to any of his fellow classmates, but rather stayed near my side. My eyes also took in the way I had been correct about what he wore underneath his jacket—a long-sleeved, button-up dark red shirt. It hung from his frame loosely, but it somehow looked so amazingly good on him.

Minor tension danced in the air between all of us, and my eyes kept darting between everyone.

"Sasaki-san!" Ichijou exclaimed, breaking the stillness that had settled between everyone. "You're finally here! I was so anxious while I sat here and waited—I wanted to see you as soon as possible. You have absolutely no idea how happy I am that Shiki managed to find you and bring you back!" He stood up as he spoke, striding towards me and stopping just a few feet away.

"... Right," I agreed lamely, not knowing what else to say. Trying to catch Shiki's eyes, I questioned slowly, "So the important matter that we need to discuss is...?"

"Those," Ichijou grinned at me brightly as he swept his arms in a grand gesture to the table he had been sitting on just moments ago. My eyebrows shot up to my hairline before I could stop myself as my eyes skimmed over familiar wrapped gifts that were laid out on the table. I hadn't noticed it before, since I had been solely focused on trying to read everyone's moods and emotions. Not to mention Ichijou's tall and broad figure obscured most of the presents from my view.

An uneasy feeling washed through me, and I felt like I was a deer caught in headlights. They weren't supposed to find the gifts and then bring me back to _discuss_ about them. They were merely supposed to find them, open them, and then go back to bed, _not_ whatever this—_this?_—I didn't even know what this _was_. I felt like half of them were angry with what had happened and yet the other half just didn't care too much about it. Was this a chat on how stupid it was of me or a talk about their thanks? I wasn't even sure I wanted to know.

Maintaining my calm and uncaring composure externally, I forced my voice to come out unwaveringly. "And what of them?"

Ichijou blinked his gleaming eyes at me. "Well, of course we wanted to open them when you're with us. We'd also like to thank you!"

I had to cough to cover up my choke. Did I hear him right? "What do you mean, 'you wanted to open them when I was here'? You could've just opened them up yourselves."

"But that wouldn't be any fun," Ichijou pointed out to me with a lovely smile. "Besides, we only have limited time to see each other before we leave for two weeks. We should make a lot of happy memories and spend lots of time together before we go, right?"

"Is that how you see it?" I deadpanned. I didn't really see what his point was. It was true that sometimes time seemed to flow a bit faster or slower due to the circumstances, but even so, it wasn't as if the length of our absence was over a month. It wasn't that long, but I felt like I should've known better.

It was Ichijou, after all.

"Don't look at me like that," Icijou chided lightly with warm emerald eyes and his lips pulled upwards. "I really _do_ want to make pleasant memories with everyone before departing for two long weeks."

"That's not the issue, Ichijou-senpai," I half-mumbled.

"Ah?" He blinked his eyes at me curiously. "Then what's wrong, Sasaki-san? Are you feeling unwell?"

I knew that if I even _tried_ to explain my train of thought to them, it would only get put into a jumbled mess and probably make Ruka even angrier than she already was—and by the looks of it, she was _plenty _mad already. So I just kept my mouth shut, shaking my head subtly at him. "It's nothing, Ichijou-senpai. I'm fine."

"Are you positive?" Ichijou's eyebrows scrunched together in worry as he looked at me.

Before I could respond, Aidou interjected. "She said she's _fine_, Ichijou-senpai." With aggravation lining his handsome, prince-like features, Aidou strode purposefully in my direction, his arms still folded across his chest as he stopped just a mere foot in front of me. With a scowl twisting along his lips, he demanded, "What the hell, Sasaki?"

I gave him a less than amused look. "What?"

"What did I _tell_ you yesterday, huh? Did none of it get registered in your brain? I don't even know what to say, I'm just so—I don't even—" Aidou stopped himself from saying any more, his expression contorting into one of immense displeasure. He continued scowling down at me, an expectant look in his vividly bright cerulean eyes.

"You said something yesterday?" My look gave nothing away as I stared up at him. Of course, I remembered extremely clearly what had taken place between the two of us yesterday during my hunt for Christmas presents, but I was choosing to ignore that specific part in which he had told me that my present would be like receiving torture. Admittedly, I didn't get Aidou a present because I _wanted_ to make him unhappy—it was the complete opposite, actually.

How he took in, however, was something I couldn't control.

I could practically see his eyebrow twitching in barely chained aggravation and anger. He spoke through gritted teeth, "Oi, Sasaki—"

"Wait!" Ichijou exclaimed, cutting off whatever Aidou was about to say. Surprise and curiosity covered the neat blond's eyes as he inquired, "What happened yesterday? Sasaki-san, you met up with Aidou-kun?"

Ichijou's tone bothered me, and I gave him a wary glance. "No." It couldn't exactly be called "meeting up" if it had never been intended, right? Right.

He blinked his eyes at me. "Is that so?"

Aidou scoffed, turning his head away from me. "As if I'd intentionally try and meet up with someone like _her_."

"But you guys _did_ see each other," Ichijou confirmed.

"Not _willingly_," Aidou emphasized once more. "You wouldn't catch me trying to meet up with someone like _her _even in a million years."

I gave the haughty blond a brief look. "It was accidental."

The olive-eyed aristocrat made a contemplative sound. He looked between the two of us, and then commented lightly with a smile, "No wonder."

Confused, I asked, "No wonder what?"

"Aidou-kun came back yesterday from his patrol in town really annoyed," Ichijou chortled, "but something was different about it. I suppose that whatever happened, you guys got a little bit closer to each other, right?"

Whipping his head to look up at the taller blond, Aidou's face was sculpted into one of horror and disgust. "_What_ did you just say? No! There's no way in hell that I'd be bonding or getting closer or having anything to do with her!"

"Stop yelling," Ruka told him in her elegantly cold voice. "Your voice is giving me a headache."

"Then go back up to your room," Aidou retorted.

Her pale eyes narrowed at him daringly. "Say that again, Aidou."

"I _said_—"

"I thought that the reason we brought her here is to open up our gifts?" Rima intervened, her voice just as indifferent as Shiki's. She flicked a glance at me, and almost as if the eyes of everyone in the room didn't affect her, she stood up with grace and moved to where the presents were all placed.

Ichijou, who had looked like he was just about to stop the fight between the wavy-haired female and the other blond, seemed relieved with her interruption. Nodding his head, he beamed brightly at us. "That's right. We brought Sasaki-san back here so we could all open our presents together. Aidou-kun, Ruka-chan, let's try to get along for now, okay?"

They stared at the older blond vampire for a moment, looking like they were about to protest violently against his words. However, Ichijou's lips curled up into a bright smile, and they just couldn't get their objections out.

Ruka's lips pressed together, her hand tightening its hold on her shawl. She made a delicate, almost inaudible "hmph" sound as she turned her head away.

"Tch." Aidou swiveled around, looking displeased.

"Who wants to go first?" Rima asked indifferently, stopping as she reached the table. She peered at the presents that had all been wrapped in a variety of wrapping paper. They had no idea how much I had struggled with the stupid wrapping—it had taken me absolutely _forever_ to actually wrap the things properly. It had been my first time doing such a thing in quite a long while, and I wasn't eager to do it again anytime soon.

I had balls and balls of used tape in my garbage can, right on top of all the disproportionate pieces of wrapping paper.

Akatsuki looked around at everyone, and as his eyes landed on me, he hoisted himself up off the back of the couch. It was probably pity that drove him to say in his calm, deep voice, "I'll go first."

"Can I go?" I muttered to Shiki under my breath. It was beyond strange and awkward for me to watch as people who were practically strangers to me open up gifts I had gotten them. I doubted that they would actually like what I had gotten anyways, since I had no idea what they liked and disliked. If I got something wrong, I'd rather _not _be there to witness their horrified and disgusted reactions.

The model slid his eyes to meet mine. "It'll be fine, Sasaki."

"So you say." I broke our short moment of locked gazes, letting my eyes shift back to where Akatsuki was carefully, but swiftly opening up his wrapped gift. When he saw what was inside it, he raised an eyebrow.

"So, Akatsuki? What'd you get?" Aidou asked, sounding like he didn't really expect much.

"A book," Akatsuki said, opening up the cover and flipping through the pages. "I've heard of this novel before. Its genre is romance, isn't it?"

Aidou whipped his head to stare incredulously at me. "You got Akatsuki a _romance_ _novel_ for _Christmas_?"

I ignored the blond, and instead faced his cousin. Staring at him steadily, I asked, "Have you ever read the book before?"

"No," the orange-haired vampire admitted amicably. He didn't sound like he hated what I had got him, but he just seemed kind of surprised and perplexed—something that I had been expecting. "I'm not exactly a romantic."

"Read it." It sounded almost like a demand. When his topaz eyes met mine, my gaze was unwavering. I stated flatly, "You'll get why I got it for you when you read it."

"Is that so?" Akatsuki made a contemplative sound. He turned the book over to look at the back for a moment, before turning it back to the front. He once again opened it with his long, slim fingers. Letting his eyes meet mine once more, he held up the opened novel and said, "Thanks, Sasaki."

I could only nod at him awkwardly in response, and I saw something like a look of amusement cross his features before he turned back to the novel. His amber eyes glided over the words—was he _already_ starting to read the thing? I had been expecting him to just leave it in his room or something and not touch it.

"How about you go next, Rima?" Ichijou prompted, a wide smile on his face. He sounded excited even though he wasn't opening his own present. He turned to look at me over his shoulder, and then made a motion with his hand. "Come and sit, Sasaki-san! You too, Shiki. Why are you guys just standing near the door like that?"

"I'm fine with standing," I informed him. I had almost blurted out to him that I was standing near the door because this way, I could make my escape easily if Ruka suddenly decided she wanted to lunge at me, or if Aidou wanted to throw stuff at me after seeing what I had gotten him. It was also off to the side, so I didn't feel like I was in the center of attention.

Ichijou's lips tugged downwards into a concerned frown. With eyebrows pulled together, he asked, "Are you sure? It looks very uncomfortable standing. You must be tired."

"Oh, just leave her be, Ichijou!" Ruka exclaimed, sounding exasperated. Anger lined her voice, her eyes flashing. "Why does it matter whether she stands or not?"

It was moments like these where Ruka's unconcern for my well-being earned my gratitude.

"Ruka," Akatsuki chided lightly, slight disapproval in his tone. He lifted his head up from the book to stare at the beauty, his expression just as neutral as always.

Her lips thinned. "I'm going back to sleep." The wavy-haired female noble shot me a glower, which I responded back to with a blank look, before she began up the stairs, her tresses of glossy silk hair flowing behind her. Her nightgown seemed to billow out a bit with every movement she made, and she tightened her grip on her shawl as she walked. Her footsteps were quiet, but you could tell that they were laced with anger, annoyance, and frustration.

Akatsuki sighed, watching as she went up. "Ruka," he tried again.

She ignored him.

"Just let her go, Akatsuki," Aidou advised. He, too, followed the figure of his childhood friend as she reached the top of the staircase and then rounded the corner. "You know how Ruka is. She's probably extra grumpy today because she's tired. I'd rather _not _get yelled at by her again today."

"Hanabusa..." Akatsuki and his cousin exchanged a long look with one another, having a wordless conversation that I didn't understand. But eventually, Akatsuki's stiffened body relaxed, and he sunk back into the couch a bit. Resuming his previous position, he once again turned his attention back to the book that he held gently in his tanned hands.

Aidou tore his eyes away from the staircase, and redirected his attention. He took a look at the time, then began to tap his foot impatiently. "Can we hurry this up? I need my beauty sleep."

"I'm opening it," Rima informed us flatly in her musical voice. Finding the first package that had a card with her name written on it, she carefully began to unwrap the shiny paper. She did it swiftly and precisely, not even ripping the wrapping paper at all. She blinked as she opened up the box, pulling out a large black umbrella out. It was gothic or Lolita style, with a lot of frills and complicated designs on it.

When she looked up at me, I felt an automatic need to explain why I had chosen it for her. "You go out a lot during the day. That one's larger than your average umbrella, so it's more efficient when you're with others, too."

"I know," she answered. It didn't sound harsh or snobby coming from her, but it still made me feel like an idiot. Of course she would know—why I had gotten it for her was pretty obvious, after all. She glanced down at the other package with her name written on it. Picking it up, she didn't look at me as she asked, "You got me two gifts?"

"It's one gift," I corrected her nonchalantly. "With two parts." Because I felt stupid for just getting her an umbrella. I would've gotten Akatsuki two gifts as well since I had to admit a book was a pretty crappy Christmas gift, but I had ran out of money.

This time, her eyes flickered up to lock with mine for another second. Opening it up with just as much precision and caution as the first time, she slid out another box—I had somehow managed to find enough boxes that correctly suited the sizes of all the presents, since wrapping something square or rectangular was so much easier than struggling to wrap something with a more complex shape—and after opening it, pulled out a dolphin Pillowpet.

"It's so cute!" Ichijou blurted out immediately, a laugh escaping him.

Aidou's eyebrows were furrowed slightly as he looked at that. "What _is_ it?"

"Pillowpet," Rima answered him vaguely.

"That doesn't tell me anything!" Aidou protested immediately, sounding agitated. He was scowling with his arms still in the same position as earlier. He made his way over to where Akatsuki was sitting on the couch, and upon reaching his calm cousin, the wavy blond flopped down next to him.

Rima spent a moment petting the animal-shaped pillow, hugging it to her and then pulling back to look at it again.

"Rima?" I couldn't tell whether Shiki's apathetic voice held a chiding tone to it or a questioning one. To me, it sounded like a bit of both. When I turned my head to look at the maroon-haired model, he was staring ahead at his companion with his usual expression.

"Shiki, it's soft." She pet the pillow once more, and then raised her eyes to meet mine. "Thanks, Sasaki. It's cute."

Staring into her beautiful sapphire eyes, I really wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel. On one hand, I felt a bit pleased to know that she didn't completely hate what I had gotten her—or, at the very least, she didn't outwardly show it—but at the same time, I wondered how she felt about getting a present from me. After all, she must've known how I felt about Shiki. There was no way that the orange-haired model was oblivious to that fact, especially since I seemed to be hogging him lately.

I never really knew where I actually stood with Rima. I didn't hate the model, but at the same time, we had never gotten a chance to bond closer for me to _like_ her, either. To me, we were on neutral grounds with one another—as long as you excluded the fact that I was envious of her relationship with Shiki more often than necessary. However, how the dazzling azure-eyed model felt about _me_ was a completely different matter, as she was just as unreadable as Shiki was. Although Rima _did_ seem more vocal and upfront about how she felt, she still maintained a rather aloof and uninterested expression, emitting a nonchalant vibe that matched Shiki's.

We had never really talked, and as a result, I had no idea how to respond to what she said. It felt awkward to me—it made me uncomfortable, and not to mention it made me feel pretty horrible about myself. It was normal to be jealous of someone, yet seeing her apathetic kindness made me feel like punching myself for all the times that I felt slightly bitter towards her simply because of her connection to Shiki.

My face absentmindedly twisted into a scowl at my own thoughts.

I felt as if I was becoming one of those catty girls that often started fights with other females because both parties were going after the same guy. I had always scoffed at those girls, whether it be in real life or in stories and movies. I had always found it so stupid how they got jealous and felt so upset with the other person that they'd resort to doing things like bullying. Of course, I wasn't stooping down to the level where I felt like I had to perform ridiculous acts to attempt and ruin Rima's life, but the mere _feeling_ of being mildly resentful had me feeling as if I'd been slapped.

Really, I hated what he was doing to me. I genuinely _loathed_ all the emotions that he brought out in me—how was it possible that he could make me feel like I was someone who mattered, yet also somehow managed to make me feel as if I was a scumbag that needed to be backhanded a few times?

"Sasaki-san?" Ichijou's inquiring voice brought me out of my own musings.

Snapping back to reality, I realized I had an unpleasant facial expression on my face and quickly rearranged it back into my indifferent one. Not knowing how to respond to her words, I merely nodded my head in response, the awkwardness practically seeping out through my pores.

After a brief silence in which nothing occurred, Ichijou glanced at Aidou who merely glowered slightly in response, before clasping his hands together brightly. "I'll open my present next!" He picked up the long, but thin box first.

Rima moved out of his way, giving him more room. She strode up to Shiki with grace, and looked up at him. He merely stared back at her in a silent inquiry, and she gave him a rather pointed look before turning back to face Ichijou while by the maroon-haired model's side.

Ichijou slid the object out of the box, blinking his eyes at it. Holding the ends of the scroll, he unfurled it to reveal a realistic painting of a katana on the cloth. It was a pretty big scroll, with a really nice background of a mountain. The sword itself was painted in thick black, making it stand out. Ichijou's eyes were wide as he looked at it.

Shiki, too, seemed to pick up on why I had gotten it for the emerald-eyed aristocrat. "Ah. Ichijou-san, doesn't that look a lot like—"

"The katana I use," Ichijou finished in a murmur. His eyes skimmed along it for another moment, a smile tugging at his lips. "It's beautiful."

"Yes, we all know that you think the old-fashioned scroll that nobody uses anymore looks great," Aidou said flippantly, a sarcastic twinge lacing his voice. "Are you going to open up the next one or just stand there drooling over this one?"

"You're in too much of a rush, Hanabusa," Akatsuki faintly chastised.

"Of course," Aidou scoffed. "I'm tired and it's so early in the morning—we're vampires, Akatsuki. We're _supposed _to be sleeping right now. Do you know much it wore me out to have to handle her yesterday?"

Akatsuki raised his eyebrow a fraction. "Didn't you say that nothing happened?"

Aidou's scowl deepened. "Nothing _did_! It's just—I don't know how to explain it, Akatsuki! Something about her just drains all the life out of me and it's annoying and I want to go to _sleep_!" A frustrated tone was now in Aidou's voice, and he ran a hand through his wavy locks of gold. He sounded like a child about to break down or throw a tantrum.

"Then go," I retorted, not flinching away from his piercing glower as his eyes snapped to meet mine. He could easily get up and leave the room, and yet he was still here. I didn't understand why he'd choose to remain here with us if he was so unhappy about it when he could just leave like Ruka did.

"Trust me, Sasaki," Aidou snorted, cockiness surrounding him in robes. "I would if I could."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly for a moment. "Why can't you?"

Aidou opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Ichijou's sheepishly cheerful voice. "Actually, that'd be my fault, Sasaki-san." When I turned to look at the tall blond, he merely smiled innocently at me in response. "I'm the one who asked everyone to gather here so we can open presents together."

Dim incredulity sprung up inside me as my eyes shifted from Aidou to Ichijou and then back to the cerulean-eyed noble. How was it that someone like _Aidou_ was being held back by someone as kind as _Ichijou_? Was I the only one who saw a problem with that he had just said?

Shiki must've seen the disbelief that I was struggling to hide. "Sasaki, Ichijou-san is the vice-president of the dorms."

"I know," I started off flatly, "but how does that—" I stopped myself.

Oh.

My eyes shifted over to Ichijou again, and I had to bite down hard on my tongue to keep myself from saying something along the lines of, "Are you stupid?" I didn't understand why Christmas was such a big deal to him.

He smiled at me in response, his straight rows of white teeth showing briefly. Carefully rolling the scroll back up, he set it down gently on the table and picked up the second part of his gift. When he opened it up, he exclaimed, "You got me the box set of Sunken Woods!"

It was some kind of mystery, suspense, and thriller manga that I hadn't actually read myself, but I had remembered overhearing Ichijou speaking to Shiki about it one night when I had been getting ready to head out for my patrols. From the animated way he had been speaking, it was clear that he really liked the manga, and I happened to see it in the store I was in. I had been hesitant in purchasing it, but as I looked at Ichijou's sparkling eyes, I was relived I had stumbled across it.

Beaming, he placed the new set of manga down before striding over to me. I eyed him warily as he came closer, wondering what he was doing. As his arms shot out and wrapped around me, pulling me to him, the surprise that masked my features was uncontrollable.

"What—"

"Thank you so much, Sasaki-san!" he cut me off. "I love both of these gifts so much; I can't possible express the extent of my gratitude!" His warmth radiated off of him, engulfing me to the point where I almost felt like I was about to sweat from the heat.

My face was pressed into his shoulder, the contours of his muscles very noticeable due to the thin pieces of clothing that separated us. Even though I wasn't exactly _uncomfortable_ with the position, as I had gotten used to Ichijou's openness with physical contact, it still surprised me. In all honesty, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Hug him back? Push him away? Just stay like this?

Unable to find an appropriate way to respond, I merely remained motionless, my eyes staring straight over his shoulder. I found it disgustingly amusing how my heart beat no faster than its normal pace in the arms of his inhumanely gorgeous blond optimist, yet it would've been speeding into overdrive if the person was a certain maroon-haired model.

At the thought, my body stiffened slightly.

It really shouldn't be like this.

"What's wrong, Sasaki-san?" Ichijou's curious, soft voice was so close to me, I could hear it so incredibly clear. It was a nice harmony—smooth, fluid, tinkling with emotion and tainted with a brilliance that dimmed and brightened, but never seemed to leave.

"Nothing," I responded, not wanting to admit that I had been thinking about the indifferent cerulean-eyed male.

"Are you sick?" Ichijou questioned, his hold on me loosening. This guy worried too much. How many times had he asked me something similar in the past hour?

I expected him to break our embrace apart, but instead, his face came incredibly close to mine as he lightly rested his forehead against mine, his eyes staring into my own.

If I hadn't been rendered speechless, I would've made some kind of strangled, drowning cat sound. I was ridiculously aware of how close his face was to mine, and how the warmth of his hands sunk through my Day Class uniform and tickled the skin of my waist.  
_  
What _was he doing?

I voiced aloud this thought, watching him with eyes under furrowed eyebrows. My voice came out just as flat as it always did, but even I could tell that there was something strange about it. It wasn't as if I was excited about Ichijou being so close to me, nor was I completely revolted by it, but there was just _something _about the position we were in.

Dear lord, what coated my voice was something similar to _embarrassment_.

"Checking to see if you have a fever," Ichijou answered easily. He blinked, a thoughtful expressing crossing his features. He puffed his cheeks out a bit. "Well, you don't _seem_ to have one."

"I don't," I answered.

"You don't look very well, though," Ichijou commented. He didn't lift his head up from mine, nor did he let me go.

Letting the confusion show on my face, I stared back into his sparkling olive orbs. Ignoring what he was saying about my well-being—who would actually look like they had won a million dollars in the same situation as I was?—I opened my mouth. "Ichijou-senpai, what are you—"

His grip on me tightened abruptly, cutting me off as I suddenly got pulled closer. His eyebrows were furrowed as he looked at me intensely, and I wondered what the hell was running through his mind. The way he gazed at me unnerved me—it made me feel uneasy. I could feel my stomach clenching, my intestines feeling like they were coiling up tighter.

"Wait, Sasaki-san," Ichijou told me as I craned back slightly from him. "Don't move."

"I don't—"

Another voice this time—an indifferent voice that I knew so well. "Ichijou-san—"

Something wrapped around my forearm and pulled, breaking me away from Ichijou's embrace. The movement was so unexpected and swift that I found myself losing my footing for a moment, lightly bumping into a solid wall. Surprised, I looked up at who had grabbed my forearm in such an unexpected manner, my heart giving an almighty thump.

But I knew that it couldn't possibly be him.

Face to face with a clearly annoyed Adiou, I wondered how I hadn't noticed him getting up from the couch he had been resting on with Akatsuki earlier. But then again, I had been a bit occupied with my raging mind.

Aidou scowled fiercely at me. "Are you done trying to flirt with the Vice Dorm President yet? Like I said, Sasaki, I _do _have a life. You're wasting time I could be using for my beauty sleep."

"Aidou," Ichijou reprimanded.

"What?" Aidou whirled around to face the taller vampire. "What do you think you're doing? I clearly wasn't going to sit back and just watch some kind of affectionate show that you two decide to put on. I never knew your taste in women was so horrible, Ichijou-senpai. How could you have possibly sunk so _low_?"

Slight amusement was in Ichijou's voice as he chuckled, "Really? I wouldn't call someone of Sasaki-san's calibre low at all. Rather, I think that she's one of a kind. In an extraordinarily good way."

Horror plastered itself onto Aidou's facial features, and he looked like he had either just seen a ghost or gotten told that his hair wasn't as beautiful as Shiki's. To me, it really just looked like he had gotten slapped in the face. "Did—did I _really_ just hear that right?" Raising up his arm that held mine, causing my arm to follow his action, he gave our arms a shake and asked incredulously, "_This _Sasaki?"

Beaming, Ichijou nodded his head. "Yup!"

"Ichijou-senpai," Aidou started very seriously, "go get your eyes checked. Take your words back before it's too late. It's _Sasaki_. Do you understand what you—"

"Sorry, Aidou-san," Shiki apologized nonchalantly as he interrupted what the other noble was saying, "but Ichijou-san, what were you so fixated about?" He didn't even flick Aidou a glance, despite the way the said vampire seemed to flare up in indignation.

"Don't just _interrupt_—"

"Hanabusa, calm down and just listen to—"

"Sasaki-san." Ichijou's voice stopped anyone else from trying to get into the conversation. Aidou, who looked like he was about to tell Akatsuki off, closed his open mouth to keep his words inside. We all stared at the tall vampire for a moment, waiting for what he was going to say next. Something about his tone of voice was unsettling—it seemed a bit too serious, a tad too solemn.

Involuntarily, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. Despite the slight anxiety that bombarded me like falling rain during a storm, I met his gaze with my own. His emerald orbs, too, looked a bit too dim for comfort. "What is it, Ichijou-senpai?"

He remained silent for a moment, like he was trying to find a way to phrase it properly. "Sasaki-san, when we first learned about who resides in you... your eyes changed colour when you were in tune with Amaterasu-san, right?"

My blood seemed to run cold. "Why?"

"Your eyes—" he paused for a moment, his lips thinning slightly. He looked more worried than afraid. "They're not... pure lavender."

"_What_?" The word left my lips in a hiss. My heart pounded in my chest, and I somehow managed to feel both blazing hot and freezing cold at the same time. Something shot up my spine, making me want to shudder. My fisted hands clenched tighter until my knuckles were white, and I couldn't help but feel disbelief, incredulity, and confusion spin inside me.

Immediately, I ripped my forearm out of Aidou's grip and whirled towards the staircase.

Ichijou _had_ to be joking. There was absolutely no way—I didn't _understand_.

I had barely gotten five steps towards the winding stairs when another person caught my wrist. I tried shrugging him off—I didn't want him to see it, just in case it was true. Yet he firmly tugged on my wrist, forcing me to twirl around and face him. When I turned, I hadn't expected his face to be so close, but it was.

The breath was knocked out of me.

Shiki's eyes were slightly narrowed as they stared into mine in a scrutinizing way. He maintained his bored expression, nothing about his expression or his eyes giving away his thoughts or his emotions. I could see myself reflected so clearly in his pale, glass-like blue eyes, which meant I could see the slight panic that was written across my own face.

The moment he opened his mouth, I already knew that Ichijou hadn't been kidding.

Tearing myself away from him almost as if he had burned me, I bolted up the stairs as fast as I could, ignoring the maroon-haired model who called out my name. All I could think about was getting to the mirror. I felt like I needed to see it for myself—it just seemed so completely and utterly impossible.

Slamming open the door to my room and then locking it shut behind me, I strode into my bathroom hastily, flicking on the lights. I brought myself up as close as I could to the mirror, forcing my eyes to widen a bit so I could get a better view.

For a moment, as my heart thumped uncontrollably in my chest in what seemed like fear, horror, uneasiness, and panic, I couldn't see what either Shiki or Ichijou did. Looking at my own reflection, I could only see what I had seen for the past few years—nothing looked out of the ordinary.

But the dread inside me didn't leave, and I didn't need to wait long to find out why.

After another moment or so of staring hard at the reflection of my eyes in the mirror in front of me, I began to see it.

The faint flakes of crimson that were scattered around my lilac irises.

* * *

**A/N : **

Yup, that concludes the twenty-first chapter! I hope you guys liked it!

Man, I really have to admit, I'm starting to love writing about Aidou. I dunno, maybe it's because I find it so fun. Or maybe it's just because he dislikes Riku so much, and it's fun thinking of what he'd say. IUNNO. BUT IT'S FUN. HAHA.

Don't worry, you guys! The next chapter will definitely contain a lot of Shiki than this one, so I hope you guys are going to look for it and stay tuned! (;

And what's this about Riku's eyes? OH SNAP.

I apologize for any spelling errors, grammar mistakes, and any OOCness that may have taken place in this chapter! ;O

SPECIAL THANKS TO MY AMAZING REVIEWERS;

**Lianne Sabrina, Smirk 'N' Sweat Drop, Yamai-san, ZabuzasGirl, LadyAmazon, Storygirl11, Shannyrox101, luvJesusInHeavn, Princesa de la Luna, Astin, Darkemi, x3sYellowie, XXTakaraXX, AwesomeEraser, OH. MY. GOD, Youknowwhothisis, I'm Plotting Something Evil, Tsukuda Sumiko, The Goddess of Flash, and Rane Kurodo**

You guys are more than just "amazing" for reviewing for me, and you guys have absolutely no idea how much I appreciate it! So thank you guys so much, and I really hope to hear from you guys again! (:

Also, thank you to everyone who alerted and favourited!

The next little bit is just going to be me responding to a few reviewers, so... Like usual, if you want, you guys can skip this part, but if you guys want to continuing reading, then it's okay, too! xD

To **Smirk 'N' Sweat Drop**;

HAHA. Trust me, I smile a lot when I write about then, too! I'm glad that I managed to make you smile (: I love writing about them. Heh, well, I got a new chapter up, so I hope you enjoyed it! And I always try to list everyone who reviewed, and I try to answer people, so... ;D Look, you're in the A/N again! Or, well, you always SHOULD be in the list of reviewers, but ANYWAYS. Thank you for the compliment and for reviewing! I hope you enjoyed the chapter (:

To **Yamai-san**;

I'm glad that you like my stories! And I'm really, really curious... Which author do I remind you of? ;O Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope you liked the chapter~ ;D

To **Shannyrox101**;

LOL. Really? I feel so refreshed after midterms, it's like a load has been lifted off my shoulders. Sorry about the typo! I read in your review in Heterochromia that you had your midterms coming up, and I'm guessing you finished them by now? I hope that you did well! But I also hope that you didn't strain your health studying. =P Fighting! HAHA. I like writing about both Riku and Shiki as well as Riku with Aidou! They're both fun in their own way, and your questions will definitely be answered as the story goes on, so I hope you look forward to it! I love reading long reviews, so I'm happy that you gave me one! I hope you liked this chapter, and thank you so much for reviewing for me. You're awesome. (:

To **Astin**;

Nono, please don't say sorry for being an anon. HAHA. I like anon reviewers, too. I mean, I don't have a problem with them. =P SO IT WAS YOU! Thank you so much for that review! I recognize your shooting star at the end of your reviews, but... I didn't know how to do that. LOL. -SLAPPED- Thank you so much for reviewing for me, and I hope to hear from you again! (:

To** x3sYellowie**;

I showed Aidou in this one too! -sparkly eyes- Well, everything will be answered in the end, so I hope you look forward to it! And who knows, maybe Aidou _does_become friends with Riku! Or... Is he a rival? DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN. LOL, I'm being so mean by teasing people like this. -SLAPPED- I loved the ending of the last chapter, too. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I'm glad that I made you smile! I'm also glad that you're one of those people that don't think Ichijou is secretly in love with Riku. LOL. Thanks for reviewing for me like you always do, and I hope you liked this chapter! (:

To** AwesomeEraser**;

First off, I gotta say I love your name. -grins- And I'm glad that you don't think he was out of character! I'm actually going to addressing the responses to the previous question as a whole later, but ANYWAYS. I'm glad you thought it was awesome even without the presence of Shiki. xD I felt like in the earlier chapters, all I need was focus it on him and Riku, and it bothered me, so tada! I have to admit, it's really fun writing about her with other people as well. I'm glad that you like what I'm doing. HAHA. Well... Riku opening up. Hmm. I think it'll happen pretty soon... Sort of? It'll happen during the winter break and from then on, but I don't want to give too much away, so... OTL. I'm glad that I've made you a happy reader. It makes me a happy writer. xD Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, and I'll continue doing my best! thank you so much for your review, and I truly, truly hope to be hearing from you again! ;D

To **OH. MY. GOD**;

Well, I wouldn't call it stressful, but... HAHA. I'm glad that I made you happy by updating! I laughed when you said you bragged to your friends about it. -snickers- I hope that the fanfics they're reading have also updated by now! Last minute shopping for presents is a serious pain. It really is. -SLAPPED- I had fun writing that scene, too. Oh, Riku. -sighs- Showing her affection when he's asleep. He missed out. -grins- YES, FLIP 'EM TABLES OVER. That's how I feel sometimes, too... When I do a lot of things. LOL. I hate headless mannequins. I gotta say, I just had to make Riku hate them, too. It amused me too when Riku was kinda irritated at flinging Shiki's gift aside, but I felt like it showed that's how much she cares about it. I'm so bad at writing fight scene! -SLAPPED- T_T It's why you hardly ever see me writing any! D; But I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. xD I think a lot of people WOULD be rooted to the spot in fear, but y'know how Riku rolls. She just... doesn't stand there in fear like that, so she thought the woman was stupid. LOL. I purposely wrote "Sasaki" that way, wondering if people would get heart attacks thinking it was Shiki. (; The "don't start drooling" line made me laugh when I wrote it. LOL. I had a lot of fun writing their interaction together, and I'm glad you liked it too! LOL. NO WORRIES. Riku picked up her gift on her way back. She would've blown a building up if she had forgotten it after spending so much time trying to decide what to pick. LOL. Back to "beastly"? XD You make me want to go back and change it so that it was "beau" instead! OTL. -grins- And yeah, I get really worried. I'm so conscious of it, because I know that I hate it when writers don't keep the characters in character. Well, I don't see why it wouldn't be okay with me if you have it bookmarked. In fact, it makes me feel so cocky and flattered. LOL. Whoa, PRINTING it? Hmm. That'd be a lot of paper. xD You don't need to be sorry about not reviewing often; I'm just glad to know that I have a reader like you! I love hearing from you. HAHA. You're hilarious. Thank you for reading Heterochromia! I'm glad that you like it! HAHA. I think that, in some ways, Ivy's more complicated than Riku. BUT THEN AGAIN, THAT'S ANOTHER STORY, SO. NEOBNWEOBWEB. I try with the chapter titles. Trust me, I do. xD It's alright if you don't read my other fics! ;O Don't push yourselfff =P I want you to read and have fun reading, and it's definitely not that fun if you don't know what's going on. =P Of course you can draw her! I'm really looking forward to the finished product! HAHA. YOU'RE making ME all excited. xD Ah, really? Please, don't say thank you! ;O I mean, I should be the one thanking YOU for reviewing. You have no idea what it means to me. (: And I really love replying to reviewers, it's fun. xD I always try to reply to people who write something that make me especially happy. (: If you review for me again anytime, I promise you I'll reply! So thank YOU so much for your review and taking your time to write one for me as well as for reading, and I hope you liked this chapter! ;D

To **I'm Plotting Something Evil**;

I'm glad that you love my story and all, but WHAT? I MEAN... ARE YOU OKAY? D; I-I... I'm glad that you find Shitsuren touching, but it worries me now that I know you can relate to her pain that way! D; If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm all ears. For reals. Like, anything at all. if this story gives you inspiration to stay strong, well... Please keep on reading. If this story gives you strength, then... -nods- Thank you so much for reading, and for reviewing for me. I hope that by reading this story, maybe the pain that you can relate to has subsided just a bit? -hopeful look-

To **Tsukuda Sumiko**;

He really IS amusing. LOL. I loved writing the scene with the blanket. I'm the one that wrote it and all, but I swooned a bit. -SLAPPED- Ichijou is trying to play cupid in all of this. It's fun writing about him, too~ Shiki and Riku are just... -sigh- IT'LL COME. The time where they figure everything out with each will come. It just... might take a while... OTL. I DON'T THINK I CAN MATCH UP THE CHAPTER 19. EVER. OTL. I rewrote scenes in that chapter so many times, holy... It's going to be hard trying to top that. xD When Shitsuren ends, you gotta tell me if I ever surpassed it. Or, well, in any of my stories. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for always reviewing for me! I love hearing from you xD

And that concludes... My really, really, really... long responses to reviewers. HAHA. Sorry if you guys actually spent a lot of time going through and reading them!

This part is actually going to be talking about the responses I got for the Aidou question. IUNNO, YOU GUYS. XD I got a lot of mixed responses for it. Some people said he was a bit OCC, while others said he wasn't at all. It was really just a matter of opinion, and I'm glad that you guys told me what you thought! To be honest, I felt like I had him down pretty well... Maybe it's just me and my cockiness, who knows? HAHA. I tried making him cocky, but... the conversation he had with Riku at that time was too serious, and I feel like Aidou is a pretty serious person when it comes to something like that. So yeah. BUT ANYWAYS. He was also in this chapter, and I hope that he's... less OOC? For those of you who felt he was OOC, I mean. I MEAN, LIKE... I didn't try and change how I saw him or anything or how I believe he'd act, but the conversation this time is lighter, so yeah. BUT OKAY. ENOUGH ABOUT THIS.

This time, I'm sorry, but I gotta ask you **two questions**. LOL. You guys can answer both, of just pick one. I'd love to hear your thoughts on either!

The **first question** is; **Why do you think Riku got Akatsuki that romance novel?**

And the** second question** is; **Why do you think Riku's eyes are flecked with red now?**

Maybe the reason is super obvious to some people, and maybe it's not. I have no idea, which is why I'm asking you guys! HAHA. I wonder if anyone will be able to get it right? Tell me what you think the reason is in a review! (: The first question will be answered in later chapters, but the second question will be answered in chapter 22! So tell me your thoughts about it!

The next chapter will contain Shiki in it. And some more Aidou. 'Cause I have so much fun writing about him, and 'cause what Riku got him wasn't shown in this chapter. xD I hope you guys look forward to it! (:

Thank you guys for all the support, and I really hope to hear from everyone again!

Review for me if you think I deserve it! And also to tell me your thoughts. xD

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	22. HAZARDOUS

**Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight. It belongs to Matsuri Hino. And I also don't own Pocky or anything that you may, or may not, recognize.  
**

**A/N :**

Hey, you guys! I'm back with the twenty-second chapter of Shitsuren! (:

Sorry about the wait! I hadn't updated as much as I had wanted in March, despite the break that I had from school. But nonetheless, I finally got this chapter written! I've been so excited to post this chapter up, because GUESS WHAT, YOU GUYS? Some amazing artists actually created wonderful masterpieces of Riku, so I've been dying to show it to you guys.

The links to the beautiful pieces of art will be at the author's note at the end of the chapter, so please look forward to it! (:

Without further ado, I present to you guys the twenty-second chapter!

Read on, my loves, read on! ;D

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**Chapter T_W_E_N_T_Y_T_W_O :**

_"HAZARDOUS"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-FOUR [ CONTINUED ]

* * *

White.

A white, blank canvas. That was what my mind was like as I stared unblinkingly—uncomprehendingly—at my own reflection in the mirror.

No emotions seemed to get registered within my brain. I just felt numb. All the anger, confusion, depression, horror—it all just didn't get processed. For a moment, all I could do was just stand there motionless, my mind a clean slate. Even if I wanted to move, I knew that my body would feel too heavy to do so.

Frozen.

Seconds and minutes passed where nothing came. Nothing happened because I just couldn't _move_. But then reality began to catch up to me and the numb blankness that I had been floating in began to disappear. The emotions came rushing at me, crashing into me harder than ever. I felt myself stagger back a step at the invisible force, myriads of negative emotions flooding through my system. I couldn't even begin to decipher all the feelings that bombarded me since there were so many. I couldn't tell which one dominated against the rest. It was all just a jumbled mess of unpleasant thoughts and emotions.

I felt like the blood that ran through my veins was as cold as water from the South Pole, but it also felt as hot as the lava from an erupting volcano. A million sensations showered me as I tried to regain control of the havoc that had been created inside my mind.  
_  
Amaterasu. _Her name came out in a mental hiss as I tried to grasp any self-control that I had left. I wanted to close my eyes—to rip my gaze away from the unfamiliar reflection that stared back at me—but I just couldn't.  
_  
"Riku," _she said, sounding hesitant. _"Calm down—"_

_Calm down?_ I repeated her, a humourless laugh escaping my lips to fill the still room. Even to my own ears, it was a laugh that sounded cold, harsh, and even a little bit insane. _Did you just tell me to _calm down_? With something like this—I don't—how can I possibly stay calm in a situation like this?_

_"Riku—"_

_What is this?_ I cut her off, my tone quiet, but also more menacing than it could have sounded if I had yelled. My hands clenched into fists at my sides. _What is this, Amaterasu? This has never occurred before in this past. I don't understand... I don't _understand!

She didn't answer me for a moment, but her presence lingered inside me. I let out a ragged breath, unclenching my stiff fingers from their curled positions. I ran a hand through my hair, disheveling the strands of onyx and letting them fall into my face. I could only stare at the person who stared back at me, wondering what was going on.

A million questions raced around inside me. Speculations of what was happening, what _could_ happen, what this all meant. I had conjured up myriads and myriads of different situations and circumstances in just a few short moments. Everything about this was overwhelming. I couldn't even begin to try and sort out my thoughts or my feelings.  
_  
"It's nothing that will endanger your life, Riku," _Amaterasu finally said, her voice quiet. She sounded like she was trying to reassure me, to comfort me. I almost let out another dry laugh at that—_she_ wanted to console _me_?  
_  
I didn't ask that, _I retorted coldly, trying to keep myself breathing properly. I couldn't even blink my eyes. _I asked you '_what is this'_, Amaterasu. And I expect an answer—_now.  
_  
"When—" _she paused, struggling to gather her thoughts and find the words to explain clearly. _"When you use my powers, your eyes turn red or black, right? You've always thought that the colour depends on how much power you draw out from me, but that's wrong. The colour of your eyes differ because it depends on how in sync we are with each other."_

My heart stopped for a moment, my entire body tensing up. My lips pressed together tightly, and I struggled to keep myself from exploding. If I had been speaking aloud, the next words that came out of me would've been through gritted teeth. _What do you mean?_

Her silence greeted me.  
_  
Answer me, Amaterasu. What does that _mean_?_

_"Riku..." _she trailed off for a moment. When she spoke again, there was some form of sadness tainting her wise alto voice. _"What _you_ want—is it what _I _want?"_

My throat tightened. _What are you—_

_"And is what_ I_ want... what _you_ want?"  
_  
Once again, the blood that coursed through me seemed so ridiculously cold, yet hot. For some odd reason, it was like something pierced through my body—this sharp pain just seemed to invade me. I wanted to clutch at my heart, where it seemed to hurt the most, but I just couldn't bring myself to move.  
_  
What _I _want...? _I repeated almost absentmindedly.  
_  
"Yes."  
_  
It took me a while to get my mind wrapped around it—what we wanted? What I wanted and what she wanted? When she first said it, a few hundred things popped into my mind. After all, there were so many things that I wanted. It ranged from clothes to nice hair to other tangible items.

And then something hit me.

I almost laughed—in fact, a brief, throaty chuckle left me as I reached a hand up to grasp a fistful of my bangs. A bitter realization had dawned on me. Was what I wanted what she wanted?  
_  
You're hilarious, Amaterasu. What you want and what I want—it's the exact same thing, isn't it? We both want to live. _That's _what we want._

_"...You're right," _she agreed after a moment. _"We both want to live. But Riku, when you use my powers, sometimes the thought, 'I'm doing this because I want to live' doesn't occur."_

_What are you talking about?_ I demanded from her. _Of course that's what I think when I use your powers—what, do you think I just whip your powers out for fun?  
_  
I could sense her shaking her head at me. _"When you revealed your true nature to everyone, you didn't do it because you wanted to live. You did it because you were trying to prove something—you were exposing yourself because you _wanted_ them to finally know. Or when you subconsciously activate my powers, it's not because you want to survive. Your emotions are what control it. It's not the same."  
_  
That was true. It had been a long time since I had used Amaterasu's power for the sake of genuinely surviving. However, it was also because I hadn't been in any danger lately. I had never _needed_ to use her powers recently. The people around me always seemed to be able to take care of things. They protected me and didn't allow any harm to come to me. It was like they were my own bodyguards.

I was safe.

Here, at Cross Academy with Shiki, Zero, Kaien and Yuuki—it was here that gave me a sense of security.  
_  
That doesn't explain the eyes, _I managed to say.  
_  
"In sync," _she repeated, her voice calm and serene despite how rude and ruthless I sounded. _"In all the years that we've been together, when did we ever have a civil conversation? In the seven and a half years that I have resided in you—did you ever see me as anything more than a monster?"_

_I—_ I stopped myself before I could continue on. Or perhaps that wasn't exactly right. It wasn't that I _stopped_ myself before I could continue on, because that meant that I had purposely done so.

But that wasn't the case.

It wasn't as if I had forcefully restrained what I wanted to say—it was simply that I couldn't find anything to say at all. How was I to respond to such a thing, especially when it was something I couldn't deny? No matter how hard I tried to argue my case, I knew that it would prove to be futile. After all, it was the truth.

All the years I had known Amaterasu, there had never been a time when I saw her as anything less than a monster. How could I think of her any differently? She, who slept inside me, was using me as a vessel for her own benefit... I hated it—the feeling of being so _used_. I hated everything that came with being her vessel. The lack of privacy, the incredible vulnerability, and the sense of being stark naked for her to see... I hated all of it.

But above it all, what I hated most was probably the time limit I had been given.

Or was it the fact that I had lost everything because of it?  
_  
Amaterasu, I—_  
_  
"Don't," _she interrupted softly, gently. _"I know what you're going to say. There is no need for you to apologize, Riku. The problem lay simply in our desires—and how they're exactly the same. The desire to live. Being in tune with each other's wants is something that is supposed to strengthen the relationship between the host and the vessel, but in our case, it is what tore us apart. In order to live, I needed to keep you alive, but in order for _you _to live, you needed me to die. While what we wanted was the same, they also conflicted with each other."_

_Are you saying that it's different now?_ Incredulity lined my voice. My lips pursed together even tighter, my jaw set. _Because it's not._

_"It is,"_ she disagreed. _  
_  
I bit down on the inside of my cheek so hard that the metallic tang that came with blood could be tasted on my tongue. _I still want to live._  
_  
"But you accept death," _she countered. Even though I couldn't see her, I could tell that her eyes softened. _"You used to do everything you could to push me away—you tried desperately to live, even if it meant that I wouldn't. That's changed now. You're willing to sacrifice your life for me. You want to live, but you're not trying to escape death anymore."_

_So?_ I bit it out through my grinding teeth. _What has this got to do with anything?_  
_  
"The fact that we're able to talk with each other like this now..." _Amaterasu's voice drifted off, her sentence following her. My entire body was tense as I waited for her to continue, but even if I had tried to brace myself for what she said next, it still would've created the same sort of shattering impact. _"Riku... You're not—your body... Your body is—it's becoming accustomed to me."  
_  
She sounded so hesitant, so reluctant. The sorceress rephrased her sentences so many times, as if she couldn't find the right words to tell me. Was she trying to break it to me gently? Was she trying to be kind? Was this genuine kindness supposed to make it hurt less—make it less horrifying, less hard to swallow down?

Being "accustomed" to her, eh...?

"Tch." It left my lips spitefully.

That was just a more sophisticated way of saying that my body was no longer solely mine to control. My body—this body that was supposed to be mine and mine alone, was not longer something that I could call "_mine."_

The short nails of my fingers dug into the skin of my palm as I tried to keep my emotions in control. Raging fires had ignited inside me. There were flames licking away at my insides, burning me inside out, and acid seemed to be tingling along with my blood as it flowed through my body. My heart felt like it was being restrained by invisible steel threads, forcing it to beat harder in an attempt to break free, but it only caused more pain.

Suddenly, I couldn't stand looking at my reflection anymore.

Just as the thought hit me, the mirror suddenly cracked, the crevasses spreading through the pane of glass rapidly. And as the fissures touched the edges of the mirror, in just a second, the mirror broke into a million pieces. The large chunks that had been created from the original fractures shattered into tiny, petite shards. There was a loud sound as it occurred, but I didn't even flinch. I kept my eyes trained on my breaking reflection, watching as it crumbled into nothing. The shards of the mirror rained down around me, falling onto the counter and floor with light tinkles.

I stared dully at the expanse of the empty wall in front of me for what felt like a long, long time.

But no matter how long I remained motionless, trying to calm myself, such a thing did not take place. The fire inside me didn't die down, and the lava that was about to spill over didn't recede. In fact, I only seemed to get angrier and angrier the more I thought about it. Trying to force myself to become calm only seemed to have the opposite effect, as it made me even more livid than I had been before.

The silence allowed me to _think_.

A few more loud _pops_, and then the room was bathed in darkness as bits and pieces of the lights danced to the floor.

Inhaling deeply to try and control my fury, I stiffly made my way over to the bathroom door, where I grasped the handle. It unintentionally began to melt the moment I touched it, the metal becoming mangled. Yet I didn't care as I flung it open, letting it slam into the wall as it opened. I had barely taken a step out of the broken room when I realized that I wasn't alone.

He stood leaning against the wall beside the bathroom door, his hands hidden inside the pockets of his sweats, and one of his long legs propped up against the wall's surface. He tilted his head as his crystalline cerulean eyes tried to lock with mine, strands of maroon silk falling over his features as he did so. "Sasaki."

"What?" It came out more hostile than I intended it to, but this didn't seem to faze him at all.

Shiki pushed himself off of the wall with his propped leg, moving towards me. Instinctively, I took steps back away from him. His eyes burned into me, but I turned my head to stare away from him. He stopped moving after the first three steps he took forward and the steps I took back. "I'm not here to harm you, Sasaki."

"How the hell did you get into my room?" I demanded from him, my voice rough due to the tight sensation in my throat. I stared at the lavender paint that covered my walls, suddenly finding them ten times more interesting than I did before.

"I picked the lock." His tone was completely casual, as if he didn't see anything wrong with that at all. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do—slap him upside the head or look at him and laugh.

I settled for anger over affection.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The bite in my voice was evident, and I felt my hands curl into fists once more. I folded my arms tightly across my chest, my lips thinning into a straight line.

"It's still intact, at the very least," he countered nonchalantly.

I scoffed. "Get out."

"I'll stay."

"I mean it, Shiki," I gritted out. I didn't want him here, where anything could happen. I was on the verge of blowing up this entire stupid dorm. My emotions were in such a wreck that I couldn't control anything that happened around me anymore.

But more than that, this was so pitiful.

"I know you do," Shiki answered. "That doesn't mean I'm leaving."

Another wave of fury swept through me, the feeling almost overwhelming. And, just like I had expected, my uncontrolled emotions sparked Amaterasu's sorceress abilities to jump into action once more. The lights in my room flickered dangerously, going out for a few seconds before exploding. Once more, the glass petals rained down, singing a high soprano tune as they embraced the floor.

"Get out," I repeated tightly.

He ignored me completely, taking a few steps closer. Once again, I responded by retreating back. He let out a soft that was practically inaudible. "We're not children anymore, Sasaki."

"You're right. When I was a child, I had no idea how to beat the shit out of people," I retorted, my foul language sounding so much more vicious than it normally did. I kept wondering about whether or not Shiki was a complete and utter _idiot_. Did he not see that I could set him on fire any moment? Didn't he know that I could freeze him and turn him into an ice sculpture without even intending to? It was like he was oblivious to the danger that was presented to him by being in the same room as me.

I wanted him away from me. I wanted him far, far away, where I knew that I couldn't hurt him. As much as I wanted to be close to him, to speak with him—it was obvious that such a thing was impossible now.

Or, actually, it was simply impossible. Impossible, period.

Not now, not after the winter break ends, not in a year.  
_  
"Riku," _Amaterasu started, a slight edge to her usually gentle voice, "_don't tell me that you think magic doesn't work if there's distance between you and the target."_

At her words, I completely disregarded what Shiki's response was, as it felt like my heart had stopped for the millionth time today.

What _did you just say?_

There was silence between her and I as we both realized something about the implications of what the other had said. And then, at the very same time, our thoughts clashed with one another's.  
_  
"Riku, how can you not know such a thing?"_

_Why didn't you tell me sooner, for the love of—_ I didn't even get to finish that thought, because the blindingly red rage I felt was enough to knock me speechless.

The windows that were on my wall got destroyed, and a large hole with a meter radius was burned through one of the walls.

His voice sounded so distant, but so close. "Sasaki, what's wrong?"  
_  
How far? _I found myself hissing at her. _How far until I can't hurt him, intentionally or not?_

_"It depends on what kind of magic you—"_

_How. Far?_ I cut her off, making sure to pause deliberately, forcefully, between the two words. Everything I looked at seemed to be bathed in bright crimson.

When she spoke, it sounded remorseful and it was just a small breath. _"I don't know."_

_What do you mean you don't know?_ I growled out at her, trying to control my breathing that was too rapid and hard to be normal.  
_  
"It differs from every vessel to the next," _Amaterasu replied, her voice straining to be as gentle as it usually was. _"And you've never—"_

_I've never used your power with the intention of casting long-ranged attacks,_ I finished for her, agitation lining my voice. But I wasn't sure who I was so mad at—her? Or was it me?

My tension and hostility seemed to make Amaterasu reflexively on edge as well. _"Yes."_

Before I could make some undoubtedly snappy remark, a gentle touch on my cheek startled me. Instantly, I recoiled away. My hand came up to slap whatever the thing was away, but a grip on my wrist stopped me from doing so. It was only then that I realized Shiki had closed the distance between us in the time I had been ignoring him.

Now, he stood directly in front of me, so close that our bodies were just an inch away from touching. One of his hands restrained mine, while the other was still lightly touching my cheek. The warmth that radiated off of him was almost suffocating. My skin seemed to burn where he touched, the heat that came from just the slightest touch of his fingers sending flaring tingles throughout my body. I could hear my heart skip a beat before restarting again rapidly. He stared down at me with unreadable eyes.

"Let go," I strangled out, even though a part of me was begging for him to pull me closer.

"No," he answered blandly. "Sasaki, you got cut from the glass." As if to prove his point, he swiped his finger along my cheek and held it up for me to see. Sure enough, the dark crimson liquid was smudged along the pad of this finger, and there was a mild stinging in my cheek that I hadn't even been aware of.

"I don't care," I told him coldly. "I want you to get out."

"I already said that I'll be staying," he reminded me.

"Then _I'm _going." I retreated a step and tried yanking my wrist from his grasp. It was futile, however, as his grip onto seemed to tighten. I had to remind myself not to get any more irritated than I already was—I didn't want to cause any harm to anyone. I had to make sure I kept my emotions in control—I had to rein control over Amaterasu's powers.

"There's glass everywhere here, Sasaki," he informed me flatly. I could tell that his eyes were trying to catch mine, but I stared fixedly at his exposed collarbones.

"It doesn't matter," I growled. "Let me _go_." Yet I made no move to try and uselessly pull myself away from him. It was obvious that he was much stronger than I was. After all, he was a vampire with inhuman strength, while I was a supposedly ordinary girl with a witch living inside me.

His indifferent voice was quieter than usual, which made me freeze. "It matters, Sasaki."

It took everything I had not to just close the distance between us and bury my face into the crook of his neck, wanting him to wrap his arms around me and comfort me. It was so hard not to embrace him and tell him everything so that he could help wash the pain, anger, and sadness away. All I wanted to do was be surrounded by him—to have him make me feel secure, like everything was going to be alright.

I wanted him to become my sanctuary.

He brought the bloodstained finger up to his lips, his tongue flickering out to lick the crimson liquid off of his delicate skin. Immediately, a strange expression fluttered across his face. I couldn't quite make out the emotion that danced across his features, as I still refused to look at him and could only see out of my peripheral vision, but he smoothed the look on his face quickly.

Grip loosening, Shiki unexpectedly took a step back from me. The movement was slow, but as he continued to back away from me, the movement became swifter, edgier. I watched him as he slid his hands back into his pockets, his strands of hair falling to cover most of his eyes. As pathetic and stupid as it was, I couldn't stop myself from feeling disappointed at his retreat. It was what I wanted, yet I also didn't want him to leave. I was a hypocrite, but I just couldn't decide what I wanted from him.

Still, the second he pulled away from me, I had immediately begun to miss his warmth.

"Stay where you are, Sasaki," Shiki instructed me. His stoic voice seemed different than it did before, but I couldn't place it. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he had already turned his back on me and began heading towards the door. "I'll get Ichijou-san."

I spoke when he was just about to pass the through the doorframe. Even though I had been so angry before, seeing the abnormal behaviour from the taciturn model just seemed to sweep aside all the other feelings that had been boiling inside me. "What's wrong, Shiki?"

He paused a moment in steps, only long enough for him to say a common phrase. "It's nothing." And then he disappeared out the door.

Left staring at the place where he had left, I stood there with a more relaxed posture. My hands unclenched themselves from their fists, my heartbeat slowing down to a more regular pace. I let out a loud sigh, running a hand through my hair, only to feel bits and pieces of sharp glass tangled within the onyx locks. I let out a noise of frustration as I tried picking the pieces out, which proved to be more difficult than I had imagined. My eyebrow twitched when one of the shards pricked my index finger, breaking the skin. I pulled my hand away to stare at the blood that oozed out of the small wound, my face contorting instantly at the sight.

Had my blood truly been that bad that Shiki couldn't take it? I had no idea what happened to vampires when they drank my blood—I didn't know if my blood smelled so bad to them because it was mixed with another supernatural being or if it was just some kind of illusion to keep them away from me.  
_  
"It's not poisonous, that's for sure," _Amaterasu's reassuring, soothing voice brushed my mind. I had almost forgotten she had never withdrawn into slumber. She, too, seemed less tense and agitated this time.  
_  
Better not be._ I was going to blow up a mountain if it was.  
_  
"You're a lot calmer than before," _she commented. I could practically hear the smile in her voice as she said, _"He truly does have such a wonderful affect on you."_  
_  
It's not a good thing, _I reminded her dully, trying to ignore the slight ache in my chest.  
_  
"Do you love him?" _she asked me softly.  
_  
No_.  
_  
"That was quick." _She raised her eyebrows at me. _"How are you sure?"_

_"Love" is an extremely powerful word._ My eyes fell to the glass-littered marble floor. _It shouldn't be love. I don't want it to be.  
_  
Amaterasu remained silent for a heartbeat. _"Do you think he loves you?"_

_Like I said, I don't want him to. When I got angry at him before, back when we were just starting out as friends and I had thought he was lying about it—I realize now that that wasn't right. I should've been glad. That meant that, to him, I was nothing. And when something that means nothing to you disappears, you_ feel_ nothing. It doesn't affect you. That's the way it should've been. I should've been okay with that—I should've let it slide. It would've been better in the long run._  
_  
"Why are you so caught up in the past?" _The sorceress inquired. A tone in her voice told me she thought she had me cornered. _"It's too late to go back and change things now. What happened, happened. That was then. This is now. You're still thinking of the 'what if's and the 'I should have done's. But the reality that this the present, and what you do _now_ can change things. You can't change the past, but you can try for a different future."  
_  
And the stillness that followed after her last word made her realize it would've been better if she hadn't said that sentence at all.  
_  
A different future? _I repeated, a bitter tone in my otherwise apathetic voice. _Don't even start on this with me, Amaterasu. We both know how it's going to end._

_"Riku, I keep telling you that it's not set in stone,"_ she protested, sounding like she was distraught and frustrated. _"Things can change. It might be different this time around, so don't—"_

_All your other vessels died,_ I cut her off. My voice was so monotone, it was as if I didn't care. But I did. I cared so much.

So I had to do all I could to force myself _not _to care.

"_It's different," _she objected in her musical voice.  
_  
Please feel free to enlighten me on how._  
_  
"Their body couldn't withstand my presence, but yours can."_

_That means_ nothing_. For all you know, my body might not last until tomorrow. I could be dead in a week. And even if I survive until the end, I'm going to die then, anyways._

_"I've said it a million times—"_

_That maybe I won't? That, for some reason, I won't die like I'm supposed to? What, do you really think that I'm going to believe in miracles? Things like that don't happen. This is reality. Don't try to make things harder for me than you already have._

And because she lived inside me, I could feel the hurt that slammed into her at the last sentence. She cringed away slightly almost like I had slapped her. Though, with words like that, I couldn't blame her. Feeling the sheer amount of remorse, concern, sadness, and just a whirlwind of negative emotions overflow from her made it suffocating for me.

The guilt came.  
_  
Amaterasu, _I started, not really knowing what I was going to say. I certainly couldn't take back my words. _It's fine like this. I don't care anymo—_

"What are you doing, standing there like an idiot, Sasaki?" Aidou's voice cut through my thoughts, startling me. I jolted slightly upon hearing his unexpected voice, my head whipping over to see him standing at the door with one hand resting on his hip while the other was hanging at his side.

Hadn't Shiki said he was getting Ichijou?

"What is it, Aidou-senpai?" I asked him, struggling to keep any emotion out of my voice.

"Is that what you say to someone who personally came to help you get out of this hideous room? You should be more honoured than that, Sasaki. I'm called '_Idol'_ by students for a reason." Even though his voice was as haughty as ever and the way he carried himself was still bathed with arrogance, there was something in his eyes that seemed different.

"I don't need your help," I rejected. Unable to look at him much longer, I shifted my eyes away. "Leave me alone." I wanted to clear things up with Amaterasu, and to get my facts straight. I wanted time alone to gather my composure again—to hold myself together, because I felt like I was about to crumble into pieces.

"_Some _sort of gratitude would be nice, Sasaki," Aidou commented as he eyed me. "But don't flatter yourself too much—I'm not doing this because I want to." Before I had a chance to ask him what he was going on about, he strode determinedly into the room. Without even stopping in his steps, and before I could even blink, he had somehow managed to swoop me into his arms bridal style.

I made a sound that was similar to nails on a chalkboard as I struggled to get out of his hold. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Let me go!"

"Shut up, Sasaki! It's not like I have a choice!" he shot back at me, sounding equally displeased as I was with the situation. A deep grimace decorated his handsome features, his eyebrows pulled together tightly over his deep sapphire orbs. He turned back towards the door.

"What are _you_ talking about?" I hissed at him. He wasn't very warm, but he wasn't exactly cool, either. He had a very neutral body temperature, making me wonder if it had anything to do with his ice abilities. "You have a choice—just let me _go_."

"Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your position, Sasaki? Think it through carefully; you should be swooning right now and feeling like you're the luckiest girl in the world." I could practically _hear_ him rolling his eyes at me, as if to say, "_duh."_

"But I'm not," I muttered, "so put me down." I glowered at him, my lavender eyes narrowed into slits.

"Stop squinting," he commanded, his lips pulled into a disgusted grimace. "You look even more horrible like that than you normally do. Besides, you can stop your idiotic complaining, we're already here." Somehow, he managed to open the closed door without letting me down, and he strode into the unfamiliar room with ease. He didn't even hesitate as he walked over to one of the large beds and literally dropped me onto it.

"Thanks," I shot at him sarcastically as I took a look around the room. I had never been inside it, but I knew that it was Shiki and Ichijou's room. Something about it just _screamed_ that it was the room of those two.

There were two separate king-sized beds, and while one was a pastel yellow, the other was a dark reddish-brown with designs created by gold threading. The walls were painted white, the floor made of dark wood like mine. The side of the room with the sunny-looking bed had its walls covered in posters of different manga, and the shelves were practically spilling over with collections and collections of manga volumes. The side that I was on—Shiki's side—had relatively bare shelves, only a few books placed on the mahogany surfaces. He had some boxes of Pocky stacked along the shelves, but that was basically it. It was a really neat room, with nothing quite out of place on either side. None of their clothes were strewn out on the floor or over their beds, and no documents or papers were littered around their two separate desks that were pushed up against the same wall that had the large window.

"Are you done drooling over the room yet, Sasaki?" Aidou questioned, sounding half-amused and half-annoyed at me. He must've gone somewhere while I had been trying to soak in the details of the room, because he was now carrying a first aid kit in his hand.

I eyed the white metal box with distaste, my face contorting into a scowl. "What do you think you're doing with that?"

"Your brain surely isn't _that _slow, right?" Aidou snorted. "But before you get your hopes up, I'm telling you right now that I'm not doing it for you." He threw the box onto the bed carelessly, then folded his arms across his chest. "More importantly, what the hell was up with my gift?"

Nonchalantly, I asked, "What about it?"

"Besides from the fact that you're deaf because I clearly told you I didn't _want_ one," he started off in an irritated tone, "but out of everything that you could've gotten me, you got me something like _that_?"

"And what's wrong with it?" I countered, trying hard not to let any amusement leak into my voice. It was faintly entertaining to see him so annoyed—or perhaps it was simply because I was getting too used to his attitude.

"It was a _horrible _gift, Sasaki. Do you _not _understand that even _I_—"

"Aidou-kun!" Ichijou's bright, cheery voiced interrupted our conversation. Aidou and I both turned our heads to look at the doorway of the room, where Ichijou and Shiki both stood side by side. The neat blond waved a hand, gesturing for Aidou to come. "I need your help with something. Will you please come? Shiki can take it care of Sasaki-san in your place."

Aidou let out a, "Tch." Turning back to look at me, he shoved a finger in my face and warned, "This isn't over, Sasaki! We're going to take about your stupid gift the next time I see you!"

"I'm not holding my breath," I said in response, watching as he walked towards the two vampires and then disappeared with Ichijou. Shiki stood leaning against the doorframe for another short moment before striding further into the room.

"Why am I in here?" I asked him frankly, my eyes fixated on his slim figure as he stopped in front of me.

"Your room's a wreck." Shiki stated the obvious. "You can't stay in there." Something about what he was saying bothered me, especially with the way he looked at me like he expected me to get the gist of what he was saying. There was also a somewhat strange tone in his voice that was nearly unnoticeable.

Warily, I asked him, "What do you mean?"

He knelt down in front of me impassively, one of his hands reaching out to wrap around my ankle as I began to shuffle away from him. He reached for the first aid kit with his free hand, bringing it down and setting it down onto the floor beside him. "If you plan to stay at Cross Academy during the break, Ichijou-san says that you'll stay in our room until yours gets fixed."

"_What_?" I tried pulling away from him, but his grip only tightened. "I'm _not_ staying in your room for the break, and what the hell are you doing? Let me go!"

"We need to get the glass out of your feet, Sasaki," Shiki informed me flatly, not glancing up.

Confused and using annoyance to cover up my embarrassment, I questioned him incredulously, "_What_ glass?"

"This." He said it just as a sharp pain was felt in my right foot, and I tried my hardest not to flinch at how surprising it was. Nonetheless, the slight jolt that left me couldn't be helped. The only reason I didn't jerk my leg back was because Shiki had a firm grip around my ankle, his hold steady and not allowing me to move.

Lifting up a hand, Shiki showed me the large shard of blood-tainted glass that he had removed from my foot. I stared at it blankly for a moment—something like _that _had been in my foot? How had it gotten in there? I honestly didn't even know. I had been to angry—too numb, maybe—to have even felt something like that. And while I was no expert on medical issues, I knew that I had to get the glass out of my feet.

Even so, I didn't expect something like _this_.

"I can do it myself," I hinted not-so-subtly, lighting trying to tug my leg back.

"It's fine," Shiki retorted offhandedly, as if missing my implication. "Besides, I'm sure it'll hurt less if I do it." He didn't say it, but I could practically _hear _the, "And I'm faster than you" that would've been added on.

He shifted so that he was bent on one knee in a casual way, propping my foot up onto the thigh of his raised leg. Nothing about his facial expression gave away his thoughts as his eyes were stuck on the task in front of him.

Everything that bothered me just seemed to get pushed into the back of my mind as I watched him. I knew that he was taking the glass out of my foot and that it should've hurt, but I couldn't feel anything. The loud, fierce thumps in my chest seemed to drown out not only the sounds of my surroundings, but also any feelings other than this bittersweet warmth that I didn't even want.

"Why...?" It slipped out of my mouth before I realized I even said it.

Shiki's actions didn't still, nor did his eyes flutter away from his moving hands. "Why what?" Although he asked me something like that with such a bland and disinterested tone, I had an inkling that he knew exactly what I was talking about.

I didn't say anything for a moment. After all, did I really want to get into something like this with Shiki? Did I honestly want to know what he thought and how he felt, even if it would destroy me? I had never intended to start on this subject in the first place. As easily as the single-word question had tumbled out of my mouth, a new sentence formed by new words could also be formed; a new sentence that would have absolutely no connection to the current topic that I wanted to avoid.

But, as I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out.

Because, of course, it was never that easy.

My mouth closed, only to open again. Then it shut. Opened up once more. Closed.

It wasn't as if I couldn't find the words to say simply because I was within his presence and my train of thought had been broken—although, admittedly, he was more than just mesmerizing—but because I didn't know what I _wanted _to say. Even as the ticks of the clock resounded like gongs in my ears, I just didn't know what I wanted to do. I didn't know what I wanted to say, so how could I possibly say it?

At one point, Shiki seemed to realize that my prolonged silence was unnatural. This time, he stopped what he was doing and turned his eyes toward me. Head tilting over just slightly, my name sounded like a song as it rolled off his tongue. "Sasaki?"

"What?" I asked automatically, my eyebrows furrowing together as I returned his gaze.

He blinked at me for a moment before turning back to work on my foot. "I should be asking you that. You suddenly stopped speaking, and you didn't continue your sentence. Is it because it hurts?"

"Yes," I answered immediately without thinking it through. I had to resist the strong urge to slap myself after I had said that, though. It was obvious that Shiki had been talking about whether or not my foot hurt due to the wounds, but when he asked me such a question, my mind had instantly conjured up something else.

My feet didn't hurt at all.

But my heart did.

"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry at all. Almost as if he had just turned on a switch, his touch seemed to turn into feathers.

"That's not what I meant," I muttered. At his questioning glance, I shook my head at him. "I... Never mind." If I told him about how my heart was in pain, what kind of expression would he give me? What kind of thoughts would be racing through his mind?

What if he found out that it was because of him?

Yet, he must've gotten used to such a thing. Sometimes, it slipped my mind that Shiki wasn't just any ordinary vampire or any regular student at Cross Academy. He was _Shiki Senri, _the most popular male model. He was sought after by women he probably didn't even know existed. Hundreds upon thousands upon millions of girls probably dreamt of marrying him one day.

This time was no different from all the others.

"Is something bothering you, Sasaki?" he asked somewhat suddenly. He stopped what he was doing, the delicate pale skin that stretched over his fingers just barely brushing over my foot. His eyes abruptly locked with mine, startling me slightly. I felt my heart jump in my chest, and it was like he had cast a spell on me, because I found myself blurting out something that I never wanted to ask aloud.

"Why do you treat me like this?"

Neither of us moved.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Something inside of me squeezed my heart, trying to slow it down, but paining it. Staring at his inhumanely beautiful features and crystalline eyes—it was something that I had done a lot, whether he knew it or not. Yet, this time was different from the last time. Or the time before that. Now, gazing at him as I tried to mirror his indifferent expression, I realized that it was like the first time.

Back when we were like strangers. Back when he had his barriers up so high, so thick, that I couldn't even seem to see anything at all. Back when I couldn't read him even if my life depended on it.

He closed himself back off.

I think that was what hurt the most—more than not knowing the reason why, more than the fact that he had never talked to me about whatever caused him to revert back to how he was before.

After what seemed like forever, he spoke. Unfazed, unblinking, his smooth voice asked, "What do you mean?"

It made me feel angry. How could he stare at me so nonchalantly, look at me so expressionlessly, be so different than he was fifteen minutes ago? He understood what I meant. Did he think I was a fool? Did he think that I wouldn't notice the difference in his personality?

"... Strangers again." That was what we were. My hands clenched into fists at my side, and my eyes narrowed into a glower.

"Pardon?" His lips hardly moved.

"You heard me." The glacial tone in my voice was enough to make the room drop in temperature.

His gaze was piercing. "I don't quite understand, Sasaki."

My lips thinned. I breathed, "Let me go."

"Sasaki—"

"Let me _go_!" I yanked my leg back roughly, but his grip had tightened on it. Absolutely livid, I slammed my spare foot into his chest. I could feel the glass digging deeper into my raw flesh, causing me to wince, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I wanted to get away from him. I didn't want to be around _this_ Shiki.

The unexpected action caused him to loosen his grip on my ankle, and I instantly retreated my feet back. I was just about to swing my legs over the side of the bed and storm out of the room when Amaterasu's voice danced into my mind.  
_  
"You shouldn't walk with your feet like that, Riku. Stay and tend to your wounds. Listen to what he has to say."_

_No._ Yet, when I tried to move, I found that I couldn't. Horrified, I hissed, _Amaterasu._

_"I'm not sorry,"_she stated boldly. I could picture her lifting her head, raising her chin defiantly at me.  
_  
This is _my_ body! _I exploded, my hands grabbing fistfuls of Shiki's thick blanket. _What do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are, controlling my actions as you please? This isn't even during the battle! Let me go. Let me _leave_!_

_"No. I'm not going to let you move out of this room."_ Seriousness was laced into her tone.  
_  
You are _not_ my master, _I snarled at her furiously. But even as I said that, my limbs began to move on their own. I could see my own hands reaching for the first-aid kit, but I knew that it wasn't _me_.

I saw myself shaking as I tried to resist Amaterasu's control. The movements stared becoming were jerkier. My arms would stop for a moment before moving super fast, only to stop abruptly again. I knew that I looked like a broken machine, but no matter what, I didn't want to stay in this room with Shiki.  
_  
"Are you going to cry?" _It didn't leave her lips mockingly, but I wanted to take it that way. I was better with emotions like anger. It was familiar.  
_  
No_. But even to me, it sounded unconvincing.

_"Then why do you want to get out of here so fast, Riku?"_ Amaterasu inquired in a challenging tone. _"If it's not because you don't want him to see how hurt you are, then why are you so afraid? Why are you running away again, even after telling yourself you wouldn't?"_  
_  
I'm not running away! _I objected fiercely.  
_  
"You are. You said what you wanted to say, but you're not letting him speak. You're not hearing him out. Riku, you're still a coward!" _  
_  
Don't speak as if you know me_! I threw back at her, anger and hatred flooding into my voice. But at the same time, I felt so empty. So vacant.  
_  
"Anyone can see that you're just trying to run away again!" _She raised her voice, sounding just as riled up as I was. _"Don't try to make yourself seem like the victim! Did you even stop to ask yourself, 'Why is he being like this?' or try to put yourself in his shoes? Stop using your anger and nonchalance to cover up how you feel all the time!"  
_  
My hands came up to cover my ears, trying to block out her words that I didn't want to hear. Yet, it did nothing to drown the sounds out.

And then I realized that I wasn't just trying to mute Amaterasu's voice, but I was also trying to keep myself from falling apart.  
_  
I don't feel _anything! _Those emotions are just what I _feel. _I don't feel anything else! Nothing! Just stop—"STOP_!" The last word was a scream that not only reverberated through my mind, but it had slipped out of my mouth as well. It seemed to echo not through the room, but through Shiki and I.

Everything seemed to freeze in place. It was so quiet that our breaths, which would normally be inaudible, seemed like signals of an earthquake.

And it was because of this that the shakiness of my exhales was also noticeable. The falling of teardrops as they splattered apart upon contact with anything. The sound of someone trying desperately to hold herself together, but failing. The sound of something—someone—just slowly crumbling apart.

It was all so loud, I felt like I would go deaf.

It seemed like this moment lasted an eternity.

But I couldn't shut my eyes.  
_  
"Riku..." _her voice was soft. Soft like cherry blossom petals fluttering in a dance to the floor and as gentle as swaying grass on a summer's day.

So why was it enough to send everything crashing to the ground?

I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping an arm around my legs as the other hand went to the back of my neck, where it curled around a fistful of hair. I buried my head into my arm and knees. I told myself I'd stop running away, but all I wanted to do was escape.

All I wanted to do was to hide somewhere far, far away and never come back.

I was grasping at loose straws as I desperately tried to pick up the pieces faster than they could touch the ground. Yet, I knew that no matter how hard I tried, there was no way that I could put myself back together faster than I could fall apart.

It was because of this desperate, frantic action in myself that I hadn't even realized Shiki had made his way in front of me until his fingers touched the back of my hands.

Surprised, I just curled into myself even more. The fists my hands made only tightened more, and I struggled to keep my breathing as quiet as possible. I didn't want him to see me like this. I didn't want him to look at me with foreign eyes. I didn't want an unfamiliar Shiki.

"Sasaki." It was nearly a murmur. He gently tried to unfurl my fisted hands, only to be unsuccessful. I heard him sigh softly before trying again, a bit more firmly. Still, I didn't budge.

Disappear. Disappear. Disappear.

I just wanted to vanish; it was the only thing on my mind.

He tried another time before giving up. I could hear his clothes rustling lightly as he shifted from one position to another, not leaving me alone like I had expected him to. He stayed silent for a moment, before saying, "Will you listen to me?"

I didn't respond.

Knowing Shiki, he probably took it as confirmation. Yet, despite this, he remained quiet for a few more moments, like he was trying to phrase the words correctly in his mind. When he finally spoke, it was barely a breath in the room. "We aren't strangers."

I wanted to tell him to not take me as a fool, but my throat felt too clogged to get words out. I waited for him to continue speaking, thinking that he had more to say. But instead of words spoken from his velvety, colourless voice, he stayed silent and let the ticking of the clock resound thunderously in its place.

His words made me want to scoff. _"We aren't strangers"_? How could he possibly say that after looking at me with such an expression? An expression that said, _"I don't know you, and you don't know me." _His eyes had screamed, _"Who are you?" _

I had to remind myself that it was better this way.

It _was_.

This was what I had wanted from the start. After all, I had never _wanted_ to grow attached to people. I never intentionally sought out a relationship, whether it be romantic or not. There had never been a time when I deliberately went out of my way to welcome people into my life. On the other hand, I had tried so desperately to push everyone away.

Maybe that was exactly the reason why it was so hard to let go of him now.

It was _because_ I had built so many walls around myself. It was _because _I had tried so hard not to let anyone in. And despite all of these things—no matter how coldly I treated him or how rude I was when I spoke with him—he still managed to wiggle himself through solid walls.

I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter, biting back a trembling exhale.  
_  
Why?_

And as the silence continued on, Shiki made no move to console nor comfort me. I felt no arms wrapping around me and pulling me into his embrace, but he never left where he sat. And, for some reason, I felt like that was enough for me. I came to the realization that even if he pulled me to him and let me cry into his chest, it wouldn't have changed anything. Even if he whispered into my ear that it would be alright, it wouldn't have stopped me from breaking. Those gestures of comfort meant absolutely _nothing_, because he didn't know. He couldn't see the future. He couldn't guarantee me that everything would be okay.

So he didn't.

It was because of this—this silent comfort of not being alone—that somehow managed to make it a bit easier to breathe.

* * *

I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep until I woke up due to the bed dipping under someone's weight. I froze instantly, the grogginess in my mind clearing up. My burning, bloodshot eyes zoomed in on the unfamiliar colour of the blanket and the tantalizing scent that wasn't mine.

The presence that sat on the edge of the bed was unmistakable.

He sighed, and speaking in what I almost mistook as a mumble, "Sasaki..."

I almost slammed my fisted hand against my chest in an attempt to regulate my heartbeat. My lips thinned as I tried not to make a sound. I didn't know why I was pretending to be asleep, but I just couldn't bring myself to let him know that I was awake.

I felt so embarrassed, so ashamed. How many times had I told myself that I wouldn't let myself look so weak and pathetic in front of him? How many times did I tell myself I wouldn't cry? And how many times had I done all those things that I told myself I wouldn't do? It was obviously ten times too many.

Shiki shifted, and I instantly let my eyelids fall over my lavender orbs. I could feel his eyes burning into the skin of my face, and I struggled to keep a neutral expression.

When the pads of his fingers lightly brushed over the back of my hand, I nearly jumped out of my own skin. It was such a light touch, but I could feel the hairs on my arms and neck rising up from it. I almost held my breath when his larger hand enclosed my smaller one. His movements were small, slow, and gentle, telling me that he was being careful to not wake me up.

If only he knew that I was ready awake and practically dying from his actions—I didn't even know how I was feeling. It seemed so overwhelming. I was beginning to wonder if this was the same Shiki Senri as the one I saw and spoke with on a daily basis.

Surely, it couldn't be.

For a long time, he was motionless as he held my hand and stared at me. It was so difficult to continue with the sleep act, but it would seem so bizarre if I suddenly woke up without a reason. Not to mention I knew that if I were to reveal myself to him, he would realize I hadn't been asleep the entire time he had been in the room. After all, there wasn't a hint of drowsiness in neither my mind nor my expression.

Eventually, steps could be heard coming up the stairs. Faintly at first, but growing louder and louder by the second. Still, even as the footsteps halted and another presence seemed to enter the room, Shiki didn't shift an inch from his position.

"Shiki," Ichijou's calmly bright voice murmured. "It's time for us to leave."

"I know," Shiki answered. The feeling of his gaze didn't leave me. "Thank you. Give me a moment? I'll be down in a second."

There seemed to be a knowing tone in Ichijou's hushed voice. "Okay." His footsteps began to fade as he left, leaving Shiki and I alone once more.

Something welled up inside of me—something like anxious anticipation. I didn't know what was going to happen, or if anything was going to happen at all, but... I knew that I was expecting _something_, no matter how stupid and helpless it seemed.

And after a few moments, I felt him lifting my hand up. My eyebrows wanted to scrunch together in confusion, but they didn't have the time to. Because, for just a brief second, I felt his cool breath tickling the skin of the back of my hand before something incredibly soft pressed against it.

My heart nearly stopped.

The pressure only lasted a second, but even so, I could feel his lips ghosting over the back of my hand for another few heartbeats. His breath, too, seemed to create a blanket that caressed my skin. My entire body was engulfed in something hotter than lava, my hand burning.

Shiki sighed again before lowering my hand back to my side cautiously. He pulled the blanket a bit higher, and after another few seconds, got up off the bed. His penetrating stare lasted for another moment before his silent footsteps sounded, signaling his leave.

But even as he left, the fire that he had caused inside of me didn't disappear.

My eyes snapped wide open the minute he was gone, my heart racing so fast that it was skipping beats. My mind was completely empty as I cradled the hand to my chest, my face so hot that I felt like it was going to erupt into flames.  
_  
What_...?

* * *

**A/N : **

I-In character? W-WHAT'S THAT? -SLAPPED- I don't know, you guys. Tell me what you guys thought about Shiki in this chapter! I'm a bit worried about how in character or how OUT of character he was! I'd love to hear your feedback!

To be honest, I hadn't planned for the chapter to play out like this at all. He wasn't supposed to leave like that. The kiss wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't even get around to talking about the presents. SNEBOEWNVQWPBN. My plans for this chapter? I finished this chapter and I asked myself, "... This is NOTHING like what I had imagined it to be like." Well, damn. I hope it wasn't too bad, though! xD

I'm sorry about about spelling or grammar mistakes in this chapter! And OOCness ( if you think it occurred )!

Before I list all my wonderful reviewers, I said in the author's note at the beginning of the chapter about **art work** that some fantastic people had decided to create. Well, I'm not going to keep you guys waiting, because _I_ can hardly wait to show you guys! HAHA.

**~*~* ART! *~*~**

The first one I'm going to link is one drawn by **KuroNightroad**, whose name on dA is "Devils-Lock"! It's a masterpiece of Riku in her dress at the Winter Dance, and it's the only one I've gotten where she's dressed in that attire. It's absolutely beautiful, and trust me, I've stared at it for _hours _over the past few weeks. It's breathtaking, and I can't even thank her enough! So here's the link to that amazing piece;

http: / / devils-lock. deviantart. com/ #/ d4sed0j

The second piece of work that I got would be by **リーサン**. I actually never communicated with this artist, but it was MoonlitNite who spoke with the artist and somehow got this for me. I can't imagine Riku in such an attire, but it's beautiful nonetheless. So thank you so much to both the original artist and MoonlitNite! The link for it is here;

http: / / i778. photobucket. com/ albums/ yy67/ Riitakuku/ sketch69. png

And the last piece of amazing artwork that I got would be from "**Madmangaotaku**" on dA. Again, I've never actually spoken to this artist, but it was also MoonlitNite who managed to get this amazing piece for me! So thank you to both of them for this! It's wonderful! The link is here;

http: / / fc00. deviantart. net/ fs70/ i/ 2012/ 074/ 1/ c/ for_ envy _ _by _ madmangaotaku-d4st0g6. jpg

Definitely, definitely, **DEFINITELY** check all these out! They're ridiculously amazing, and I love them all so much. I can't even express my thanks and gratitude, as well as astonishment, to all these wonderful artists who took so much time out of their busy lives to do this. They're all wonderful, so _do_ check them out and make _sure_ that you check out their other artwork as well!

I attempted to put spaces _after_ any ":" or "/" or "." in the links, but the last link is a bit different. Once it reaches the "for envy" part, it just goes kinda whacko because I know this site _hates_ it when there are more than one "-" or "_" in a row. -SLAPS-

SPECIAL THANKS TO MY AMAZING REVIWERS;

**Lianne Sabrina, ZabuzasGirl, Shannyrox101, Smirk 'N' Sweat Drop, Tsukuda Sumiko, Astin, The Goddess Of Flash, xPoisonedBlueRose13x, Storygirl11, Princesa de la Luna, x3sYellowie, luvJesusInHeavn, Darkemi, KuroNightroad, XXTakaraXX, bad demon, prellesjournal17, Hikari-Suzume, Youknowwhothisis, AliceMarieSwan, I'm Plotting Something Evil, Crystalize our hearts, and Akatusukifreak**

Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews! I can't possible tell you how happy I was when I read them and how much they mean to me!

Also, I'd love to thank everyone who alerted and favourited!

As always, the next little bit is going to me when I respond to a few reviews, so if you want, you can skip it! (:

To **ZabuzasGirl**;

HAHA. Not quiteeeee. I hope this chapter cleared it up for you! Thanks for reviewing for me! (:

To **Shannyrox101**;

LOLLL. I'm glad that it made you laugh! Don't thank me for updating, since I should be thanking you for always reading my chapters! Sorry about the confusion, I'll try to clear it up for you here! Basically, when Ichijou opened up his present, he got one of those cloth scrolls. Have you ever visited some sort of manga place and they have these posters made out of cloth? It's sort of like that. The sword that Ichijou uses when he fights was painted on the scroll. And then I'm sure you get the manga part. HAHA. I'm flattered that you consider my writing skills good enough to be jealous of! I'd lend them to you if I could. ): Thank you for your review! -grins-

To **Tsukuda Sumiko**;

You should have more faith in your predictions! ;O You never really know. (; YOU HAVE A YOSHI PILLOWPET? Ahmygod, that sounds so cute. I have a cow one. HAHA. I love it. And yeah, Shiki was jealous when Ichijou was all up in Riku's face. -SLAPPED- I MEAN, WAIT, WHAT? (; I planned to reveal their presents in this chapter, but... _Clearly _that didn't happen. LOL. I guess it'll come in later chapters. Thanks for your review! ;D

To **luvJesusinHeavn**;

Thank you so much! You have no idea how often I beat myself up about keeping the characters in character. HAHA. When I edit my work before posting it up, I end up changing a lot of the original lines because I don't think it fits. Thank you so much for your review! (:

To **KuroNightroad**;

Yeah, Riku's like a tsundere. Sort of. Kind of? HAHA. I'm so glad that you think that Aidou's in character! I have a lot of fun writing him, but that fun sort of dies down if people think he's not in character. xD Hmm, _does _he care about Riku? (; LOL. I never even realized that it sounded like the start of a confession until you pointed it out! I started laughing when I went back and re-read it. Ah, Zero and Riku. There aren't many scenes with them together, sadly. -sigh- I'm glad that you like Amaterasu and Riku's interactions with each other! I have fun writing those. HAHA. I think Akatsuki would be creeped out if she gave him a manga volume with his and Ruka's face on it! LOL. Thank you for your amazing review, as always! (:

To **I'm Plotting Something Evil**;

Thank you so much for your compliments! It's amazing to know that I can bring out such emotions in my readers. I'm glad that you think the drawing is beautiful! To each their own, I suppose. (: Anddd, I'm _so_ flattered that you'd want to write a story with me! The thing is, I'm not really sure how that would work out, and I don't update as frequently as I would like even now. -SLAPPED- I'm so sorry! I'm so thankful and touched that you want to write something with me, though! Maybe sometime in the future? Do you want to expand on your idea? I want to hear about it some more! Thank you so much for your review and your thoughts!

To **Akatusukifreak**;

I'm glad that you love Riku! HAHA, yeah, Riku really isn't a happy person. Well, he didn't call Riku hot in this chapter, but... (; I'm glad that you think I've got Aidou's personality down! It makes me happy to know that you think he's not OOC. I actually _do _plan to have more scenes with Riku and Rima, so I hope you look forward to them! Riku's really torn when it comes to Kaname, because while Yuuki is in love with him and all, she's also aware of Zero's feelings for Yuuki. She can't really decide whether to hate Kaname because of how he hurts Zero, or to be friends with him because Yuuki loves him. HAHA. Thank you so much for your wonderful compliments, and for your review! (:

Well, that ends my short ( pfft, it's always really long ) section where I respond to some reviewers!

Thank you so much to everyone to answered the questions in the previous chapter! The second question was answered like I had said it would be, and I think that a lot of you guys were so, _so_ close! It was amazing to hear your thoughts, and on the first question as well! That answer will be revealed in later chapters, so I hope you guys look forward to it!

This time's **question ** would definitely have to be; **What did you think of the last scene in this chapter? Was Shiki OOC? Was he not? Love it? Hate it? **

I said that it was going to be one question, but there's practically give questions in there. -DIES-

But yeah, I'd love to hear all your thoughts on this chapter!

I'm hoping to update sometime really soon, but I can't guarantee it's gonna be in April. OTL. In May for sure, though! (:

Once again, I want to thank the artists for all the time and effort they put into the pictures of Riku. Seriously. Check them out if you haven't already. I mean it. HAHA. But in all seriousness, thank you so, so much.

Thanks to all my supports once again! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter.

Don't forget to leave me a review telling me about whether you hated it, loved it, or... YEAH. HAHA. (:

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	23. The Dawn of Understanding

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Vampire Knight or anything that you may, and some things that you may not, recognize. Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.**

**A/N:**

YO! As I'm sure you guys can see, I've updated. Yes, yes, I know that half of you are thinking, "_Finally." _because I said I'd update in May and it's nearly the end of the month. BUT, technically, I never stated _when_ I'd update, so... (: At least I updated in May! Hurray! And I know that it doesn't really change anything, but I've been _crazy _busy in April and May, which is why the chapter is late. And I don't know what's going to happen in June, since all my exams will be at that time, but... I'll try my best!

Man, you guys have _no_ idea how relieved I was when I read most of your responses to my question in the last chapter. It was really reassuring to know that most of you thought it was still Shiki-like of him. Or that I somehow managed to _make _it seem Shiki-like, but you get my drift.

How many of you guys checked out the art links I provided in the previous chapter? HOW AMAZING WERE THEY? Amazing? Yes, I know. HAHA.

Did anyone notice the review count? XD Shitsuren reached over _five hundred_ reviews! I feel like I could cry. I can't even express to you guys how much gratitude I feel for all your amazing support. All I can say is _thank you_ _so much_, and that I hope you guys will continue sticking with me until the end, and maybe even a little longer than that! The person who sent in the 500th review would be _anon_. ( Astin, is that you? OTL If not, I'M SORRY I GOT YOU MIXED UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE. -SLAPPED-)

BUT ANYWAYS. I've talked enough, right? HAHA. I'll let you guys read the newest chapter now!

Read on, m'loves, read on! (:

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**Chapter T_W_E_N_T_Y_T_H_R_E_E :**

_"The Dawn of Understanding"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-FIVE

* * *

I used to love Christmas. Back then, years ago, when I was young and innocent. Back when I thought that Christmas was a time when everyone around the world would be laughing and happily celebrating with their families.

It wasn't like that anymore.

I grew up. Years passed by and I abandoned that sort of naive, childish way of thinking—how many people were crying on Christmas due to reminders of the past? Due to unexpected incidents? How many people were suffering, homeless on the streets and starving, even though it was a day that was meant to bring joy?

My love for the holiday melted into indifference, bordering on dislike. Instead of viewing it as a day of celebrating in delight with my family and friends, I saw it as a day that people used to spend money in order to receive, a day that people got drunk and partied, and a day that people used to get a vacation from. To me, Christmas was bothersome—people _expected_ happiness. They _expected _some sort of change in me, as if I was supposed to suddenly turn into someone more optimistic and cheerful.

I always disappointed them, because I stopped caring about the holiday.

That was why, when I woke up on Christmas day, I immediately wanted to fall back into bed and sleep the day away. I didn't want to get up and meet Kaien, Zero, and Yuuki. I didn't want to be surrounded in some sort of festive atmosphere. I wanted the day to pass by as quickly as it took for me to blink, but I knew that it would never happen.

While I wasn't a huge fan of Christmas and all, that didn't mean that I'd actually stay in bed all day and ruin everyone else's happy moods. It had been a while since I had celebrated Christmas with anyone, and it had been a few years since I had last done so with Zero, Yuuki, and Kaien. Just this small fact seemed to make it a bit more bearable than before—this Christmas would be unlike the previous ones, which I had spent alone.

I lied in bed with my arm thrown over my eyes for another brief moment before I rolled over onto my stomach and slammed my head into the soft, down-filled pillow. And that was when I froze for a moment, my heart thudding louder in my chest. I lifted myself up off the pillow using my forearms, staring down at the dark sheets with a familiar tantalizing scent that was definitely _not _mine.

Whipping my head around the room, I held my breath as I took in the bright sunny colours on the opposite side of the spacious area and all the manga the shelves had. I looked back to the side that I was on, which had nothing filling the near-vacant shelves except for the Pocky boxes piled up one on top of the other.  
_  
Oh God, _my mind breathed.

I didn't remember anything—had I always been in here? Had I gone back to my broken, trashed room after my breakdown in front of Shiki? Had he brought me back here? Why hadn't I noticed it when he—I could feel warmth crawling slowly up to my face, and I slapped myself harshly on the cheeks with my palms to stop myself from continuing that train of thought.

My heart was practically singing with joy, but my mind was in a grumpy, chaotic mess. I felt dimly nervous—or was embarrassed the word?—just by being in this room, let alone sleeping in his bed! I felt like all the wind had been knocked out of me when I looked around me and found myself surrounded by his smooth, clean sheets that smelt just like him.

I almost twitched in horror. _Oh God, oh God, oh God..._

Why was I in here? What was I _doing_? Did he _see_—? A few hundred million questions flooded into my brain as quickly as a raging tsunami, but I didn't have any of the answers. I placed a hand over my ferociously beating heart, feeling its rapid pounding in my palm. With my other hand, I ran my fingers through my hair in anxious irritation.

For some reason, I felt so annoyed. I just didn't understand how I allowed myself to sleep in his bed, especially after I had already been so defiant about staying back in my old room despite the wrecked state it had been in. And I couldn't believe that I didn't realize that I had been in his room all along. After all, I _had _been awake for a long time last night since my stupid heart wouldn't shut up and stop beating to a ridiculously happy song. Had my mind been so hazy and fogged up that I just didn't realize it? Maybe I was so caught up in what happened that I had been playing off his surrounding scent as just an illusion. But even so, that seemed so idiotic of me! I couldn't even imagine the way he viewed me last night, being so passive despite the insolent attitude that I had toward him earlier.

Just thinking about it made me want to crawl into a hole somewhere and just disappear for a while.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm myself. A mixture of scents invaded my nose; Shiki's mesmerizing aroma was the strongest, followed by Ichijou's soothing and fresh fragrance, and then the sweet smell that Pocky gave off. The rest of the scents weren't very distinguishable, but that was probably because my senses weren't nearly as enhanced as a hunter's or a vampire's.  
_  
Okay, _I told myself sternly, struggling to keep my apathetic composure. All my heart wanted to do was roll around in his bed some more and stay there the rest of the day while my mind was screaming at me to get the hell out of here. _It's already over and done with. There's no changing the fact that I'm in his b—that I slept in the same bed as—that last night he—Okay, no, shut up. Breathe, breathe. Okay. Just get up and go to your room and get changed. Forget about everything else. It's not important. Whatever, blow it off, it's okay. Breathe. _

With this sort of mildly moronic pep-talk chanting repeatedly in my head, I sighed softly and hastily threw the covers off of myself. Alert and without a trace of sleepiness still in my mind, I swung my legs lightly over the edge of the bed and slid off the sheets, standing up straight. I ran a hand through my relatively tamed hair in order to make it a bit more presentable as I quickly, but carefully, remade Shiki's bed. When I was satisfied with the way it looked, I nearly tripped over my own two feet because of how fast I tried to leave the room.

Opposed to my usually calm strides, today I practically slid into my room. But how was I supposed to keep calm when I was in _there_? Holy crap, I felt like my heart was going to suddenly stop beating from overworking itself.

Still clutching at my chest, I made my way slowly over to my closet. My room had definitely been cleaned up; there were no more glass shards sprinkled like dust on the floor, and the holes that I had blasted through the walls had been covered up by random planks of wood. The windows had also been covered up to avoid letting anything fly inside or allow anyone to climb into the room. All the debris that had been created due to my rampage had been disposed of, and all the broken furniture had been taken out. All the cloth and drapes had also been taken down. In fact, my room looked extremely bare. Most things had been taken away because they had been trampled on somehow. The floor had marks along it, as did the walls. I was surprised that the ceiling didn't seem to have taken as much damage as the rest of the place and that it still seemed fairly stable. The lights that I had broken were also gone, the place incredibly empty and smashed. However, my dresser and bookshelf seemed to have avoided any damage, and they stood pushed against the wall like they always had.

Padding over to the furniture that hid my wardrobe, I pulled open the doors and peered inside for a brief second before rummaging around for something to wear. I didn't particularly care what I wore as long as it was warm enough and I didn't look entirely stupid, since I knew that I probably wouldn't be going anywhere today anyways.

As I slipped on a loose, baggy tank-top and a thick black hooded sweatshirt over it, my eyes swept over to where three wrapped boxes sat neatly in the corner of my closet. I would have to put those under Kaien's Christmas tree in his home before making my way to his kitchen, where I was sure would be the gathering spot for the four of us. As I pulled on a pair of comfy pants, I gave a fleeting thought to the fact that Cross Academy was currently free of students from both the Night and Day Class. It meant that it would definitely be easier for us prefects, and it would be much quieter around here, not that I was exactly complaining. I hated having to deal with the Night Class' fangirls; their shrieking nearly made my ears bleed.

Finished getting dressed, I reached down for the presents that were piled one on top of the other and, balancing them on one hand, I closed my closet door with the other and made my way out of my destroyed room. It felt a bit strange to walk through the Moon Dorm's large, luxurious hallways and not have any of the Night Class students mingling around or have Ichijou or Shiki with me. It was odd to see the dorm this quiet and this vacant. Normally, one could hear Aidou's loud voice as he got riled up over one thing or another, but today, his harmonic voice was missing.

After being encircled by people for such a long time, it was nearly unnerving to be alone again.

I quickened my pace out of there.

* * *

"Ri-chan!" Kaien exclaimed excitedly as soon as I walked through the kitchen door. He was standing in front of the stove with an apron on over his homey clothing, his hair still tied back. His spectacles were slightly fogged from the steam of the boiling pot he had been leaning over, but he seemed to have ignored that fact.

"Morning," I greeted much less enthusiastically, glancing around the room. Nobody else was here yet, which surprised me. I had imagined that I'd be the last one to show up, or that Yuuki, at the very least, would be the earliest one present.

Upon noticing that the table hadn't been set yet, I maneuvered over to where the cabinets were, opening up the small doors and reaching for the plates.

"They _just _got up," Kaien huffed, pouting his lips. "It's like they didn't want to spend Christmas with us, Ri-chan! Can you believe it? It's like my children are leaving me!"

"I'm _not _your son," Zero's voice muttered. He entered the kitchen in a ghostly silent manner, his light footsteps hardly making any sound. When I turned to look at him over my shoulder, he caught my eye and moved to help me.

Tears welled up in Kaien's eyes and he clutched tightly at the ladle he was holding with both hands. "Kiriyuu-kun! I don't know if these tears I have are because of you denying that you're my beloved son or because you and Ri-chan are so in sync with each other!"

His words made me stiffen slightly.

"In sync."

The same two words that Amaterasu had also used when giving me my explanation just yesterday. A reminder of a truth that I hadn't even known about. Words that, ever since yesterday, seemed to be more like electric whips that slapped me in the face every time I heard them.

"Neither are reasons to cry over," Zero replied, not even flicking the straw-haired chairman a glance. He took the plates out of my hands and half suggested, half instructed, "You get the utensils."

Fighting down the urge to roll my eyes at the lavender-orbed vampire hunter's back, I moved to where the drawers were. Right before I pulled it open, I could feel something else being pumped throughout my body that wasn't just blood. Fear. It was mild, but I could definitely feel it. It seemed so pathetic that I almost scoffed at myself—what was I afraid of? Even if I opened this drawer and the utensils weren't kept in there anymore, why did it matter? It was such a trivial matter to be scared over.

But even though I thought this, I still absentmindedly held my breath as I pulled the drawer open.

After peering into the space to look at its contents, I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, quietly. I had to take some time to compose myself again, even if it was only a second. Relief thumped with my heartbeat.

It was as if nothing about this place had changed.

Opening my eyes again, I carefully pulled out all the necessary utensils and closed the drawer, looking up from what I had been doing. I was both confused and surprised when I saw both males of the house staring at me silently, their demeanor vastly different from one another's but somehow giving me the same sort of feeling.

"What?" I asked, already having an idea of why they were both looking at me with such countenances. I made sure to clear any facial expression my face as I said, "Stop staring at me in silence."

Kaien's smile was as tender as falling snow. His amber eyes were smothering in a fatherly way as he gazed at me. It made my heart feel a bit warmer and my stomach feel a little less knotted, because it was a look that seemed so welcoming, so secure. But there was absolutely _no_ _way _that I would let him continue staring at me like that—I felt like I'd just end up crying all over again if we got into another serious conversation regarding our family-like relationship—so I let my features rearrange themselves into a mild glower.

Instantly, Kaien seemed to have understood. Reverting back to his overly dramatic facade, tears began to swim in his eyes again. "Don't look at me like that, Ri-chan!" he wailed. "It's Christmas today, you should be showering Daddy in love! Love, love, love!" The legendary hunter threw his arms up into the air and twirled around, surrounded in his own little fantasy that would never come true.

"'Daddy'?" I repeated, brushing past him with the utensils in my hands. "Who's that?"

"Ri-chan!" Kaien gasped, sounding horrified. "No, no, no! You can't follow after Kiriyuu-kun's footsteps. My heart won't be able to handle it! My hands are already full taking care of my rebellious, devilishly handsome son!"

An emotion that seemed like a mix of irritation and horror seemed to prance across Zero's features for a moment. Arms folded across his broad chest, the silver-haired hunter scowled fiercely at the older hunter. "If you don't shut up sometime soon, I'm going to send you to an asylum."

"You're going to send who to an asylum, Zero?" Yuuki's high, melodic voice inquired curiously. The brunette entered the kitchen dressed in casual clothing that consisted of a sweater, a frilly skirt, and long wool socks. Her wide, doe-like crimson eyes swept across the room, and upon noticing that everything had already been set up, she hastily exclaimed, "Sorry! I wasn't down early enough to help you guys set up!"

Kaien threw himself at Yuuki, his arms going around her slim neck as he latched onto her like a leech. Sniffing, he cried, "Yuuki, my dear daughter! You can never guess what Kiriyuu-kun said to me! Oh, my heart breaks. Will you indulge Daddy with some of your innocently passionate love?"

Yuuki laughed awkwardly, giving us one of her deer-caught-in-headlights looks. Her eyes practically screamed for us to save her, and she attempted to pull away from Kaien's clinging embrace. "Uh, Chair—I mean, Daddy— maybe it's better if you attend to the food before it gets burned."

At this, the fatherly figure blinked his eyes. Seemingly having forgotten about it, Kaien rapidly straightened himself out of the slouch he had been in as he hurried over to the stove. "Don't be burnt, don't be burnt, don't be burnt!"

The three of us watched him silently for a few moments as he began to fuss over the breakfast he was preparing. I would've offered to help, but I had a feeling that Kaien wouldn't allow it. After all, if Zero wasn't helping out with the cooking, I had no idea why I would be allowed to.

Glancing over at the amethyst-eyed hunter next to me, I took notice of the way his slightly softened gaze seemed to rest on the oblivious chocolate-haired prefect, who continued to stare at Kaien helplessly. Looking at him, I wanted to roll my eyes again. Perhaps I needed to slap some sense into both of them, or maybe I should just scheme for a way to get them together. It would certainly beat having them dance around each other on their tip-toes like they were doing presently.

Resisting the urge to nudge him to disrupt his romantic reverie, I moved to take a seat at the table. Leaning back against the chair, I sat in a slight slump. Although I was wide awake, I still felt like I wasn't the one who was in control of my own body despite _knowing _I was. If I searched for her, I could sense Amaterasu sleeping soundly again. I supposed that, considering the fact that we had only barely begun to trust one another, controlling my body as forcibly as she had done so yesterday had taken a toll on her.

"Riku?" Yuuki's concerned voice flowered through my ears. "Are you alright? You look kind of dazed." She pulled out the chair next to me and took a seat in it, turning to look at me with her worried eyes.

"I'm fine." I met her eyes for only a moment before looking away nonchalantly. I felt like I should've said something else, but I really didn't quite know what to say. I had never been a person to say much, anyways, but I felt like that had been changing recently.

It would be an understatement to say that it bothered me.

"If you say so..." she trailed off, unconvinced. Nonetheless, she didn't press me any further on the subject, but rather approached another topic. Sighing, she leaned back against the chair and tilted her head up to stare up at the ceiling. "It's so quiet now that everyone's gone for vacation."

"Good," Zero replied, slumping down into the seat across from Yuuki's. His facial expression contorting into a faint scowl at the mere thought of it, he continued in his smooth voice, "My ears were bleeding from all their 'kya's."

"You can't really blame them for being excited to see the Night Class, though," Yuuki countered, sighing deeply afterward. In a quieter tone, she mumbled, "But I guess it's sort of true."

"It's lonely because my lovely Night Class students are also gone," Kaien chipped in from where he stood a few feet away. He looked at us over his shoulder, his light amber eyes meeting mine. With our eyes locked, his lips cracked into a wide, smug grin that showed off his teeth, and he waggled his eyebrows at me. "As much as I miss my adorable students, I'm sure that Ri-chan also misses them more. Or should I say that you miss a certain apathetic model?"

Not amused, my eyes narrowed into a fierce glower. Kaien's implications were clear, and maybe it was because he was right and I just didn't want to admit it aloud, but I immediately got defensive about it. "Wipe that look off your face, Kaien."

"_Don't _wiggle your eyebrows like that," Zero added. His eyes had shifted over to their corners to watch the older hunter. "You look like an even bigger idiot than usual."

"But Daddy has a point, doesn't he?" Yuuki inquired curiously. "Won't you miss Shiki-senpai? It's two whole weeks that you don't get to see hi—" She broke her sentence off with an awkward laugh, inching back from me as I directed my glare at her instead.

"No," I denied, though my mind said the complete opposite. Keeping just as cool and composed on the surface as I always was, I stated, "Whether he—or the Night Class for the matter—is here or not doesn't affect me in any way, shape, or form."

Zero scoffed, eyeing me with a tad of distaste. I knew that he still couldn't quite understand how I got along so well with the vampires—or, well, a few selected ones. His loathing for them hadn't disappeared yet, but I had a feeling that he was being a bit more tolerant of a handful of them, simply because I was always around them.

I gave him a blank look in return, challenging, "What was that, Zero?"

"Don't lie to yourself," he retorted as his pale lavender eyes clashed with my mirroring ones. "That bloodsucker affects you."

"I don't want to hear that from _you_," I remarked. The look that I gave the silver-haired male clearly said everything that I needed to.

Just in between the two of us—or maybe others were aware of it, but just never brought it up in conversation—he could say that Shiki affected me. However, I could also say that Kaname had an undeniably large affect on Zero's life as well. Arguably, the way that they altered our lives were different and thus one could have more meaning than the other, but we both knew that either way, these two vampires had definitely done something to the two of us.

For Zero, Kaname was his love rival. He was a threat that Zero didn't want; that Zero felt he needed to overcome. Their relationship was full of hate, of some sort of loathing and disgust for one another. They viewed each other as something beneath the dirt of their shoes, but their paths just always seemed to cross one another's. Maybe it had something to do with a certain short-haired brunette, but that could just be me.

Sarcasm, just got to love it.

And as for me, Shiki was someone that I never really planned on meeting. He was something that, like Zero's feelings towards Kaname, I had never wanted to get acquainted with, but it wasn't because I actually despised the maroon-haired model. Rather, it was sadly the completely opposite of that. And while I didn't hate Shiki, it was the earth-shattering emotion "_love"_ that I abhorred so much. For some reason, it was like I couldn't just sever my relationship with him anymore. No matter how much I willed myself to just drop everything and walk away, I knew that I wouldn't be able to. Not now, at least. Not when everything seemed so secure with him.  
_  
Back to this? _My mind whispered to me. Even though it was my own mind speaking to me, I still didn't know what kind of emotions were ringing in the internal voice. _I thought we were over this._

For a moment, I _almost _didn't understand what it was talking about.

But when I did, it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

Thankfully, Zero chose this moment to speak, interrupting me from my reverie. It snapped me out of my own dark thoughts, which I was immensely grateful for. Continuing our conversation and understanding the meaning behind the look I gave him, he said, "It's different."

"I never said it wasn't," I shot back.

"Now, now," Kaien intervened in a chiding sing-song voice. "Don't go ruining the happy mood, you two! It's Christmas!"

"This is how I always am," I deadpanned instantly. Zero's silent agreement was obvious.

"But Ri-chan, you looked so scary when we mentioned Shiki-kun!" Kaien objected, his lips turning into a pout. He turned off the stove and, after placing everything he had cooked onto the serving plates, brought them skillfully over to the table. As he set the dishes down, he continued, "You usually don't have such a dark aura. This must mean that Shiki-kun—"

I reached over and opened the rice cooker with a bit more force than necessary, interrupting what he was saying. Flicking him a glance that dared him to say more, I got a few spoonfuls of rice and asked warningly, "Anything else?"

"Aw, Ri-chan..." Kaien looked at me in disappointment. He clearly wanted to tease me mercilessly.

"Just because it's Christmas, it doesn't mean you can say what you want," I scowled. Even though I wasn't joking or being half-hearted about what I had said, I could still see the ghost of a smile lingering on Kaien's lips at my words. I wanted to slap it of his face, but I settled for taking everyone's bowls and filling them up with rice. When I finished, I passed them back to their original owners. We said our standard "thank you"s and began to dig in.

The spectacle-wearing chairman's eyes were wide and sparkling as he looked at us eagerly. Leaning closer to all our faces, he asked, "So? So? How's Daddy's cooking? It's delicious, isn't it?"

Yuuki let out a slight giggle and nodded her head with a tender, but wide, smile. "Yes! It's been a while since you made us a meal, I almost forgot how amazing you are at cooking!"

"Sorry for being so horrible at cooking," Zero caught on. He sounded so serious yet so sarcastic at the same time, I almost laughed. He was definitely a strange one—he rarely joked, but people in general never seemed to understand when he actually meant something and when he didn't, despite the solemn tone in his voice. But this was what made Zero, Zero. If he suddenly started taking out stupid jokes, I would have to question what world I was in.

"Well..." Yuuki trailed off, her expression turning thoughtful. She pondered about it for a moment as she ate, making noncommittal voices. I eventually began to tune out Zero and Yuuki's conversation. As much as I loved the two of them, I still didn't in particularly want to listen in on what they were speaking about, especially because it was the two of them. Although they spent a lot of time alone together already considering our prefect duties, I felt like it wasn't enough.

Or perhaps I was just trying to convince myself that I wasn't trying to set them up to realize their love for each other so everyone, including myself, could get past this stupid and annoying love triangle that appeared.

I hated love triangles for ten million reasons—the obvious ones as well as the ones that weren't.

"Riku."

Dread trickled along my spine, a cold hand tickling the back of my neck. He never said my name like that unless there was something wrong.

Reluctantly—I wasn't sure I wanted to hear what he was going to say to me—I turned to face Kaien. He was watching me carefully through his bespectacled eyes, a solemn expression resting along his young features delicately. His hands were folded neatly in front of him on the table, one on top of the other, his posture straight and rigid. It made me slowly retreat out of my slouch and into a position that somewhat reflected his.

"What...?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, almost as if he was taking time to gather up his thoughts. The delay in what he wanted to say just made me feel more unnerved for an even longer period of time. However, when he finally said something, his voice was quiet and slow. "The Night Class students are gone."

I tried not to give him one of those looks that plainly asked if he was an idiot. I settled for giving him an incredibly blank expression and confirming it. "Yes."

He cracked a slight smile. "That's not what I meant."

"I know," I replied, staring at him evenly. Flatly, I admitted, "But I don't know what you actually mean."

Once again, Kaien paused briefly. Hesitantly, he only had to say one name. "...Akui-san—"

Immediately, I tensed. The hairs on my arms and on the back of my neck practically stood up at just the sound of her name. It had me nearly bristling, my hands clenching together into fists. Struggling to recompose my warped facial expression, I interrupted what he was going to say. "I don't care if she's gone."

"You knew?" Despite asking, the legendary hunter didn't sound surprised in the least. Rather, he sounded more expectant than anything.

"Yes." How could I have _not _known? She had left early morning yesterday, even before the Day Class students. I recalled seeing her from my window, my eyes trained on her straight back as she carried her suitcase and duffle bags with her. She left gracefully, not saying anything to me nor leaving me any "pleasant" parting gifts, which was something I had been grateful for.

"Is this okay?" he murmured, concern in his eyes and laced into his voice. Anyone who remotely knew Kaien could tell that he was bothered by this. "You guys didn't say your goodbyes."

I flicked Kaien a glance, my lilac eyes hard. "What, did you think she was leaving permanently?"

His eyebrows scrunched together just a tad. He answered my question with one of his own, sounding vaguely perplexed. "Is she not?"

A sound that was a mix between an incredulous scoff and a bitter chuckle left me. Folding my fisted hands across my chest, I kept my back straight as I leaned against the back of the chair. I was glowering at the empty seat in front of me as I informed him, "I wish. She'll be back, Kaien."

"How are you so sure?" Kaien looked somewhat torn. He was sending so many mixed signals, it was clear that he didn't know how he felt about the subject. It was like he didn't want her to be here, but at the same time, he did. Was he _that _worried about her? Or was it all for me?

"Why does it matter?" I wanted to drop the subject, but from the look of where it was heading, it definitely wouldn't be forgotten anytime soon. Giving in, I tried to loosen myself up regardless of the topic that I loathed the most. Reaching for my chopsticks, I once again began to eat.

"She's your sister," Kaien pointed out softly, gently although there was a twinge of a chiding tone to his voice. "Even though the situation is like this... You must still be worried about what will happen to her."

My lips twisted up into some sort of crazy, sarcastic smile. I could see the surprise in Kaien's eyes as he saw the expression present itself onto my face, but he fixed his poise the second he realized it was off from usual. "That's where you're wrong."

"What... do you mean?" Kaien asked at a snail's pace. Judging from the way he held himself, it seemed like he was preparing himself for the worst possible answer. He knew that it was one that he wouldn't want to hear, and he was right.

How was I supposed to explain the way I felt toward her? How was I supposed to explain this immensely complicated matter to someone who wasn't suffering through it? There were so many things that I felt, so many things that I was thinking, so many different aspects of the situation to take into consideration... But I supposed that there was one explanation that would suffice to sum everything up.

"She's not my sister anymore," I told Kaien in a monotonous, quiet tone. From the silence in the room, I could tell that Zero and Yuuki had finished their earlier bickering and were also listening in on the conversation. Their gazes burned holes into the side of my face, and I glanced at them through my peripheral vision to see what kind of expressions they had on their faces.

Zero looked as he always did: solemn. But if one was to look closer, one would notice how his scowl was deeper than usual, his lips pressed together a bit tighter. His eyes were also a bit more cold and hard, his body tensed rather than relaxed. Yuuki, on the other hand, looked a mixture of three emotions. Horror, worry, and distress were written across her face so clearly, it could've been tattooed onto her forehead. She gave off a vibe that expressed that she wanted to help, but she didn't know how.

I almost wanted to laugh bitterly at that—_help _me, huh?

As if that was possible.

It was impossible to receive help from an outside party. There was no way to change what was already meant to be. Things would play out like I had predicted. And it wasn't as if I didn't _want _help from them, but I didn't want them to spend their time on something that couldn't be fixed when they could be doing something else. Why would I wish for them to continue to cry over spilled milk?

I wasn't a self-destructive person. There was a difference between deliberately wanting death, and accepting death when it came. What I was doing was the latter. Many people misunderstood my thoughts, conjuring up the idea that I didn't value my life. It irritated me slightly, because I didn't hate my life in the least. I didn't view myself as someone whose life wasn't worth living. Sure, I had been through myriads of things that I would've preferred never happening, but that didn't mean I wanted to give up. Perhaps there had been times when I had thought of it, but the thought never lasted too long in my mind.

But then again, accepting death when it came seemed a bit different than knowing beforehand about your death.

It felt like I was just waiting. I viewed myself as someone who was just standing still, immobile, unwilling to move. Static. _Knowing _that I would be dying made things seem so different, especially since I knew it years and years before it would happen. This allowed me to think things through, to have time to go through all the different scenarios. It allowed me time to realize what I had to do in order to minimize the effect it would have on others.

And that was how I came to be.

Walls were important. They were what I needed. The tall, thick walls that I tried to make impenetrable was what protected me as well as others. It kept people out, so they didn't get close to me and then find out years later that I had died. This kept the grief to a minimum. This kept me isolated from others, not impacting anyone's life when I left mine.

Clearly, it didn't work as well as I had hoped. Or, well, it had been going along just fine until I got back to Cross Academy. I always wondered if I had made the right choice, and I still wondered every night before falling asleep—had I been wrong when I made the decision to come back here? Had it been a mistake on my part? I knew that no matter how many times I asked myself this, or asked others, I wouldn't be able to find a real answer.

It _felt _like a mistake, because here, at Cross Academy, my walls had been torn down so easily. Years and years of having those solid barriers put up and surrounding me, in just a matter of weeks, they had crumbled down around me. And to put it bluntly, I absolutely loathed it. The idea of being close to people again scared me, though I hated to admit it. It had been so long since I had last been emotionally attached to people, I wasn't sure I wanted to experience such a thing again.

I remembered that bonds were painful. Every time I thought about being close with someone again, I thought back to my past, back when I was a little girl, back when I had no idea what the real world was like. I had been so innocent back then. I had thought it was the best if could have a ton of friends and if I could have a lot of amazing relationships with people.

It was different now.

Now, I didn't want such relationships. I found out the hard way that, sometimes, being isolated was the best thing for people. Why would I want to be surrounded by others? Why would I want to make friends, trust them, believe in them, and then have them betray me one day? I realized that while having ties with people could result in happiness and joy, they could also result in the complete and utter opposite.

And I was never a huge fan of risks.

Before I could continue wallowing in my own depressing thoughts, Kaien's voice broke me out of reverie. It almost startled me when he spoke, and I had to focus in order to get myself out of the haze I had been in. "Isn't Aoi-san merely resting within Akui-san?"

"No," I denied. I stared at the food on the table, resisting the urge to heave another sigh, and then ate another mouthful of rice. I knew that they were waiting for me to expand on what I said some more, so I finished chewing and swallowing before saying, "The fact that Akui's taken over so completely means that Aoi can't possibly be brought back into her own body."

"But isn't that the same with Amaterasu-san?" Yuuki asked, her voice quiet and hesitant. She was clearly worried about butting her head into my business, but it wasn't like it mattered. Practically everyone knew about what was going on in my life anyways, whether I wanted them to or not.

Shaking my head for just a moment, I explained emotionlessly, "Amaterasu and Akui are sorceresses. They're different from us. We can't win against supernatural beings, because no matter how you look at it, we're human."

Zero's eyes narrowed at me. "She isn't—"

"Her soul is," I interrupted him, already knowing what he was going to say. I turned to face the silver-haired vampire and said, "I'm not a vampire, but she is. That means we weren't born into this world as vampires—our family is a human one. That only leaves one explanation as to why _she's_ a vampire and I'm _not_."

If possible, his eyes solidified even more. His hands were clenched together so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. In a hateful, revolted tone, Zero half muttered, half hissed his next words. "A Pureblood's bite."

I paused for a moment before stating flatly, "She asked for it."

There was a moment of silence as my words fluttered through the air around us. The expressions that morphed onto their faces were a variety of emotions, but none of them were pretty. Electricity and tension seemed to crackle in the atmosphere.

While I knew that it wasn't pleasant news for anyone, I couldn't help but feel like it was something that hit Zero harder than it hit anyone else. After all, he had never _asked _to be a vampire. He knew the pain that came from becoming one, and he had lost so much because of it. Hearing that someone voluntarily asked to be a vampire would probably anger as well as repulse him. It would bring back memories of things he didn't want to think about, but could never forget. Even to me, it seemed unfair. Why was he the one who had to live a life that he didn't want? That he never got to choose for himself? The lifestyle of a vampire's was vastly different from that of a human's, no matter how alike they appeared to be on the surface.

My words seemed to have stunned them into silence. I knew that they wanted to speak, to ask something, but nothing seemed to come out of their mouths. From the looks of it, their mind just couldn't form the right words to express what they were feeling.

So I spoke. "It wasn't Aoi who asked to be a vampire. By then, Akui had already taken over Aoi's body. She'd already been trapped in a box, unable to do anything. Akui was the one who wanted to be bitten and turned. Although that's Aoi's body, it's different. She isn't a vampire. She wasn't the one who inhibited the body when it was bitten."

"So Akui-san is the actual vampire?" Yuuki's voice was weaved with confusion.

I nodded. It was something that was so hard to explain. I didn't even know whether or not I was explaining it properly. It was something that I doubted many people understood—it was something that hadn't really ever been studied or researched about. Then again, the chance of anyone allowing themselves to be experimented on when it came to such a serious issue was slim to none.

Glancing at each of them as I spoke, I said, "It's hard to explain."

"Why?" Yuuki inquired, her voice getting stronger as she continued, "Why would she _choose _to become a vampire like that?"

It seemed like she was the only one who didn't understand it. I supposed it was because she was the kindest one out of all of us—the one that was the most pure, the most untouched. She wasn't tainted by things like hatred and war. She didn't have a battle mindset like the rest of us did.

Meeting her crimson eyes with my lavender ones steadily, I replied blankly, "I'm human, Yuuki. Between regular humans and vampires, who has the upper hand? If you take out both of Akui and Amaterasu's sorcery abilities and focus solely on physical strength, whose body do you think has the advantage? Aoi's body or mine?"

Understanding dawned on her features in an appalled manner.

Zero's chair screeched against the floor as he stood up. Without another word, he turned towards the door of the kitchen. His entire body was rigid, an undeniably clear sign that he was bothered by the subject. I didn't blame him for just walking out, and I was sure that everyone could understand where his feelings were coming from.

"Zero—!" Yuuki also stood up from her seat. She stared worriedly at his retreating back, her hands pressed against the table. She glanced back at us, as if torn between staying here and chasing after him.

Did he want her company? Did he need it? I didn't know. I didn't know if it was better for her to go after him or leave him alone. If he was anything like me, he wouldn't want to be within anyone's company, even if it was from someone he deeply cared about.

"Go." It slipped out of my lips before I could stop it. For some reason, I felt like maybe Zero was different from me. I seemed to prefer solitude more than he did, though that seemed nearly impossible.

Yuuki stared at me for a moment, as if debating her options despite what I said. Eventually, she shot me a regretful, apologetic look. "Sorry, Riku!" Her strands of chocolate hair swayed as she rushed out of the room quickly, trailing after the silver-haired vampire that she had grown so attached to.

Kaien and I watched as she left, waiting until she had disappeared from our sights before turning away from the door once more. Silence rested between the two of us for a moment, neither one of us moving nor speaking. Even between just the two of us, the air seemed tense.

The first one to break the silence was Kaien. He watched me carefully while murmuring, "Is this okay?"

I didn't want to see the unconvinced look on his face as I answered, so I shut my eyes tight.

"Yes."

* * *

Three pairs of eyes watched in mild exasperation as Kaien danced around the room hugging the sweater that Yuuki had bought him. He had tears flowing down his cheeks. Somehow, he was able to weep and smile so brightly that sparkles could be seen around him. And though I knew he was merely playing around, his movements were still so graceful, it made me envious.

"D-Daddy," Yuuki stammered out. "It's just a sweater. You don't need to be so happy—I didn't even make it myself." Her tone sounded guilty at the end.

"Still, I'm so happy to have received such a thing from my beloved daughter!" Kaien exclaimed. He had been crying over his gifts for the longest time. The moment he opened what I had gotten him—which had been an enlarged, framed photograph of years ago when I had been in his care—he had burst into a round of sobs that lasted for a good half an hour.

Zero, who had disappeared for a while before coming back in time for us to open our presents together, sighed heavily. "You're wasting all our time."

"Agreed," I deadpanned.

"That hurts!" Kaien protested, clutching at the spot over his chest. "It's Christmas!"

"You've said that fifty times already," Zero retorted.

"Ignore him," I instructed the brunette and the amethyst-eyed hunter. Not giving Kaien a glance, I gestured to the gift at Zero's feet. "Open that."

He glanced at the small, plainly wrapped box in front of him. He, like me, wasn't the type to be ridiculously happy on Christmas. In fact, he looked extremely displeased. Zero gave off a feeling that he didn't particularly like getting gifts, and he didn't seem to like celebrating holidays either. Even though he seemed so rough, he had picked up the box carefully. "From you?"

"What do you think?" I retorted, answering his question with another one.

He narrowed his eyes at me in response to my slightly mocking tone, but remained silent. Looking a bit more displeased than before, he carefully unwrapped the gift, ignoring Kaien's shouting and wailing in the background. When he finished with the paper, I saw the familiar smooth, plain white box. He opened it up and peered inside, his expression unchanging.

"Well?" Yuuki prompted, curiosity laced into her singing voice. "What is it, Zero?"

With his long, slender hands, Zero took out a plated keychain. It was made of shining silver, the chain itself rather delicate.

"It's so pretty!" Yuuki exclaimed in awe. She beamed at him brightly, looking as happy as a little girl with a sweet tooth entering a free candy store.

When Zero's expression changed, I knew he had noticed what had been engraved on the keychain. Clenching it in his hands, he asked me in a low, somewhat malicious tone, "What are you saying?"

I met his gaze unflinchingly. I had assumed he would be angry, but I hadn't counted on him finding the imprinted phrase so easily. Inhaling deeply, I deadpanned, "Exactly that."

"What's wrong, Zero? Riku?" Yuuki's voice was a vague sound in the back of my mind as I focused solely on the person that sat across the room from me.

He, too, seemed to be tuning out the other duo in the room. Shaking his head, he told me bluntly, "I don't want it."

"Kiriyuu-kun!" came Kaien's reprimanding gasp.

"Don't, Zero." I scowled at him.

"It's not going to happen," Zero said in a cold tone. It matched his eyes as he looked at me. "I don't need this. You're not going to disappear."

I blinked my eyes at him. Zero was never one to disregard reality. "You're lying to yourself if you truly believe that."

"Even if that situation arises, how can you expect me to forget this?" He had the ring of the keychain slipped onto his middle finger, the intricate chain dangling down and attaching to a thin, rectangular plate. To anyone who looked at it briefly, it would just look like an untouched plate that could be engraved with whatever the person wanted. It was like I was giving him a choice to put what he wanted on it. Yet, I already knew exactly where the words had been stamped into it.

My head tilted as I looked at him. "It's been years."

Zero scoffed disbelievingly. "We used this code so many times."

"Is that so?" I murmured. Back when I had been residing with the Cross family, Zero, Yuuki, and I had developed a code made of strange symbols. We used it often just for the fun of it, but I had never expected him to remember it. It made me feel a bit happy on the inside, but also a bit sad, because this meant that he could read what I had written. I had never intended for him to actually understand it.

"_You're _the one who's lying to yourself," Zero said in a quiet, controlled voice. "Don't act like you want to vanish."

My lips thinned as I admitted, "You were never supposed to be able to read it."

"You're an idiot," came his immediate response. "But whether or not I can read it doesn't change how you really feel, does it?" It was a rhetorical question.

"I want you to forget," I forced myself to mutter.

"I don't want to hear lies from you," Zero told me in his smooth voice. When our eyes, which looked so similar to one another's, locked, I got this sensation that his mauve orbs were looking right through my barriers and into my heart. It unnerved me, but I couldn't bring myself to look away.

Swallowing, I confessed as apathetically as I could, "Fine."

A brief moment of silence before Zero sighed softly. "Riku." I could hear his silent, _"Don't be like this" _that followed after my name.

"Zero." _I'm sorry._

"You're wasting your time," he notified me lowly. "Nothing's going to happen."

My facial expression was neutral as I pointed out, "You don't know that."

"I'm alive." Those words were like a slap in my face, because I knew just how much it meant to him.

"It's not my choice."

"You've given up."

"I can't change it."

"You didn't even try."

"I did."

"Clearly not hard enough," he muttered under his breath as our eyes remained locked.

Almost guiltily, I lowered my eyes from his. "I don't want to hear that from you."

"Because I'm right?"

Shaking my head, I replied, "Because we're different."

"You're right. We are. Our situations are immensely different, but the most important thing is? You changed."

Another slap in the face, but this one seemed a bit more like a punch to the gut. "Did you only notice now?"

"No, but you're more pathetic than I originally thought." His voice was monotonous except for the slight edge to it. I knew that he was purposely saying harsh things to me in an attempt to back me into a corner, but I couldn't help but be affected by it. The pain that I felt made it seem like he was physically harming me.

Somehow, I strangled out a, "Sorry for disappointing you."

"You shouldn't be able to," came his response.

"That says a lot about me."

Zero shook his head slightly at me. "That says a lot about the you _now_."

Upon hearing his words, it was like something had struck my heart. The pounding organ seemed to stop for a moment, frozen in place due to his cold words. They hit a nerve so hard, I could feel the shock reverberating through my entire being. My entire body seemed to ache. It was impossible to just brush off those words like they were nothing, because it reminded me so much of what I already knew.

"I..." My voice faltered. My eyes seemed to be glued open. A sense of panic began to overwhelm me. Something bubbled up in my chest—a sort of frantic feeling. I felt like I was drowning. It restricted everything I wanted to say, all the truth that I wanted to object.

What was I supposed to do? What was I going to do? How was I supposed to escape out of this? What was I supposed to say? My mind was thrown into a whirlwind as I struggled to find a response, as I tried to stop myself from succumbing back to the memories from years ago. In this moment, breathing seemed to get harder.  
_  
Run_. It was the first thing that entered my mind. My instinctive reflexes kicked in at this point. _Run. It doesn't matter where you go. Run away from here. Away from this. Run. Get out of here. Don't stay. Run. It's all you need to do. RUN!_

I felt like I was being choked by myself. The word kept repeating itself in a chant inside my head. That one word filled my entire brain, painting over all my other thoughts. My body was trained to do this. This was something that was familiar.  
_  
Run. Run. Run. If you want it to stop, then run. Run. Just run. Don't think about anything else. Just look ahead and run._

My eyes swept over the three people in the room. They were all looking at me in silence, watching me with eyes I didn't want to see. I felt like I was naked in front of them. I felt like I wasn't wearing anything to protect me. Where was a suit of armor to hide in when it was needed? Once again, the desire to vanish into thin air slammed into my chest.  
_  
Why aren't you running yet? Don't you want it to stop? Run!_

I swallowed in a futile attempt to get rid of the lump in my throat. Trying again, I struggled, "I..."

But nothing came out.

I wanted someone to come and save me from this. I didn't want to just run away again, but I felt like if I didn't, I would just continue to drown in this bottomless pit that I couldn't get myself out of.

Everything seemed to be falling apart at the seams again, even though I had tried so hard to patch myself up again just mere hours ago.

"Riku."

Helplessly, I looked up at Zero. I almost expected him to be looking at me with a scowl. I could imagine him saying something else that would hit me harder than what he had previously said. But he didn't. Instead, he looked at me with slightly softened eyes.

"It doesn't need to be this way."

And somehow, as I turned my head away to hide the tears that fell slowly from my eyes, I felt like something inside me clicked.

* * *

**A/N: **

And that concludes the twenty-third chapter of Shitsuren! I hope you guys liked itttttt. (:

It might seem a bit rushed, and I'm sorry for that. OTL. I think that when I wrote parts of it, I was half-asleep. The thing is, as the author, I understand what I'm trying to say even if I wrote it half-asleep because everything is already stored in my brain. I don't know how well it works out with you guys, though, and I'm hoping with my fingers crossed that you guys get it, too.

I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes, grammar errors, unclear phrasing, and OOCness that may have occurred in this chapter ( mainly Zero. OTL. )

SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL MY LOVELY REVIEWERS;

**ZabuzasGirl, Princesa de la Luna, KusajishiFukutaicho, Darkemi, Akatusukifreak, Lianne Sabrina, XXTakaraXX, Shannyrox101, SilverNeira, shatteredxcrystals, anon, The Goddess of Flash, RedRose1029, KuroNightroad, Youknowwhothisis, x3sYellowie, AliceMarieSwan, anon, AyaAndKaoru12321, MaMZg67, XxCeruleanRingxX, and angeL4anime**

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As usual, I'm going to speak with some reviewers! (: ( THERE'S SO MANY RESPONSES BECAUSE I GOT SO MANY AMAZING REVIEWS, SO... ASNIWBWBW. WALLS OF TEXT COMING RIGHT UP! -SLAPPED- )

To **KusajishiFukutaicho**;

Ooooh, you're a tension lover? HAHA. Interesting. -grins- Hmm, Aidou... His relationship with Riku is definitely complicated. I'll explain it more later on in the story and delve deeper into it. But you need to trust me on this: Riku's heart is solely stuck on Shiki. And yes, if you haven't figured it out from this chapter, all the Night and Day class students left for winter break. In this story, it's a little AU, because the possession thing never really happens, so you don't actually need to remember. HAHA. You'll see how it plays out if you continue reading! Thank you for taking the time to read this fanfic, and I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter! (:

To **Darkemi**;

Nah, thank _you_ for reading and being a faithful reviewer! (: Yes, I find Shiki _quite_ intricate, but there's a reason for his unusual behaviour that will be explained later on in the story! Like in my response to KusajishiFukutaicho, the whole Rido-possessing-Shiki-while-on-break does _not_ happen, and you will see why and how it plays out in the story. _Maybe _you'll catch a glimpse of him. We'll seeeee. (: Thank you so much for reviewing and reading, and I hope you liked this new chapter! ;D

To **Akatusukifreak**;

YOU'RE awesome-sauce! ;O LOLLL. Having Kaname in that chapter definitely _would _have screwed up the entire mood. In all honesty, I'm kind of surprised at how I always manage to avoid writing many scenes with him in it. It's not like I hate Kaname; in fact, I rather love him, but it's just... I don't like writing about him in stories where I make him the bad guy, and in this story, he definitely seems like the bad guy. HAHA. And I have no idea how I did it! I wasn't really even aware that I was doing it; I thought I made Shiki OOC, but I'm so glad you didn't think so! Thank you for reading and supporting me, and I'm hoping that you liked this new chapter just as much! (:

To **Shannyrox101**;

ASDFGHJKL. LOL. I'm sorry, I laughed really hard and was grinning like an idiot when I read your review! I feel somewhat flattered that I'm able to bring forth such expressions and emotions from you. -snickers- Ugh, you were in algebra? Well, I can understand why your mind would wander... xD I hope that your bruise is okay! YOUR COMPLIMENTS MAKE MY EGO INFLATE. That's _not_ a good thing because now I'll get all cocky. ASDGAWBNOWBN. Oh lord, you have _no_ idea how much I want to be an author, but the possibility of that happening is... slim to none? HAHA. I'm so, _so_ touched that you think that my writing is good enough to get published, though! It really warms my heart, so _thank you_. (: And no problem; it was my pleasure! I hope that you liked this chapter, and as always, thank you so much for your amazing support! (:

To **SilverNeira**;

I CONTINUED! ;D ;D ;D But as to whether or not Shiki and Riku get together... You'll have to keep reading to find out. -grins- Oh, I'm such a jerk, aren't I? HAHA. Thank you so much for reading and for reviewing; I hope you liked this chapter!

To **shatteredxcrystals**;

WHY ARE YOU THANKING ME? OTL. It should be the other way around! Thank _you_ for reading! I know how it's like to want a nice distraction when you're dying from cramming for exams, and I'm glad to know that I gave you one! Although, y'know, it's not exactly a good thing... And I actually agree with what you said about not being able to evade OOCness with a canonxOC fanfic, but at the same time, I don't really want him to be _too _OOC, you know what I mean? xD And aww, I'm glad you think I make it believable! That's a huge relief, and definitely what I'm aiming for! Thank you so much for your amazing review, and I hope that you also enjoyed this chapter!

To **The Goddess of Flash**;

AHMYGOD, YOU SWORE ON EVERYTHING CHOCOLATE? NOO. Girl, you should _never_ do that. But since you did, it makes you 3462935 times more believable. LOL. I'm glad that you think he was in character for that scene! It was killing me while I was writing it! PWMBWNBWE. I'm glad that you think that Riku is so well-written! HAHA. But, and this might make me one really, _really _horrible writer, but Riku isn't my favourite OC. -DIES- OKAY, DON'T SLAP ME. But it's true. Yes, I play favourites. UNTENTONALLY, THOUGH. ANWBOWNOV. You'll be reading about the presents... soon? In a few chapters? Sometime around there. HAHA. I'm actually not sure, but you'll definitely find out sometime throughout the story! Thank you so much for your lovely review, and I hope that you liked this new chapter half as much! (:

To **RedRose1029**;

I-I'm sorry? -DIES- I didn't mean for you to cry that hard! I'm glad that you think I keep Shiki in character, and _yes_, Riku's life sucks. A lot. But then again, if her life wasn't so horrible, she probably never would have met Shiki. I like to think that sometimes, the worst things can lead to something great. It flatters me to know that you think my writing is good enough for you to want to be able to write like me. HAHA. And if you want to draw Riku, go ahead! But please show me the finished product, yes? (: Rather than thanking me for writing this story, I should really be thanking you and everyone else for supporting me, so thank you! You have _no _idea how long these chapters take me to write, but half the time, I have so much fun. HAHA. I finally updated, so I hope you like this new chapter as well! And oh lord, don't even get me started on how the internet is corrupting us. I'd write you paragraphs. XD And, on a much more serious note, I give my condolences to you and your family for the loss of your pet. Sometimes it's really hard, even though other people think it's not a big deal simply because the friend you lost isn't a human, but... Yeah. x.x"

To** KuroNightroad**;

Excuse me while I wail about how you've been gone. LOL. And, actually, you're still gone while I'm writing this response, but y'know. When you get to reading this, you'll be back, so. ASDGNWOABNWOB. And HAHA. I don't want to swamp you with even more fanart drawings when you're already so busy! I like how you think Amaterasu is _adorable_... That wasn't the word that I was exactly thinking of when I created her, but it works. HAHA. I love how Zero and Riku are similar, because that's what makes them so close. Aidou's relationship with Riku is somewhat complicated, but also not. XD Whether he cares or not, though... (; Aidou grew on me, too. Ugh. Another amazing manga male to drool over; just what I needed, right? PFFT. Thank you so much for your continuous support, and I hope you enjoyed this new chapter! (:

To **x3sYellowie**;

Mm~ It'll all be revealed in due time. -grins- I'm so excited to get to that part though. You have no idea... LOL. I can't wait to see the reactions when that happens. ASNGOWAENBOWEB. I'M DYING JUST IMAGINING IT. And yeah... Riku's just- I don't- ASDGNOW. She's my character, so I feel like I can relate to her fairly well, but at the same time... It's just so hard to. I think Riku's mindset is what makes it so upsetting. -sighs- Thank you for reading and for reviewing for me like you always do! I hope you liked this chapter as well!

To **AyaAndKaoru12321**;

Why thank you! (: I didn't really know that I was being creative, but that makes me happy to hear. XD And I'm really glad to know that you think I get better every time; that's one of things that I think authors love hearing. It makes me feel like I'm developing and improving, and that makes me feel awesome, so thank you! And trust me, I hope that I can be great in the future as well. Or, well, I hope that I can be even better than that. Thank you for your heartwarming review, and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! (:

To **MaMZg67**;

Thank you for your compliments! -grins- I'm flattered, really. Yeah, I sort of planned it so that it'd be sad. Am I a jerk for that? OTL. And yes, after getting so much encouragement and support from everyone, I'll probably stop worrying about how OOC or not my characters are, because I know that I have a somewhat good idea of what they're like. I love Aidou and Riku together as well, but things are a bit different than you might think! xD And I updated, and Shiki _will _be brought back soon... I think. LOL. So until then, I hope you can bear with ZeroxRikuxKaien and a bit of RikuxYuuki FAMILY love. =P Thank you for your motivating review, and I hope that this chapter didn't disappoint you!

To** XxCeruleanRingxX**;

Oh gosh, I think back to my first few chapters and I'm embarrassed. LOL. I can't go back and reread what I wrote back then. Dear lord. However, I'm glad that you think that Riku is an interesting character and that Shiki's in character! That's reassuring in so many ways. Aidou _is _hilarious. I love writing about him. LOL. He's so fun to write about. You'll find out what his present from Riku was sometime in the story, so bear with me until then! Ahmygod, I never intended for that kiss to happen, but it somehow did. x.x A proper kiss won't be coming anytime soon ( or will it? ) but I hope that you'll still enjoy the ShikixRiku moments that I'll always try to include one way or another! HAHA. Thank you so much for your review, and I hope that this chapter was okay! (:

PHEWWWWWW. That was a _long_list of responses, but that's probably because I talk too much! Sorry, guys! xD

I'm so grateful to all of you guys who answered the last question; it really helps me a lot! The feedback I got was practically entirely positive, and this gave me a huge confidence-boost, though some people might argue that it's a bad thing... BUT ANYWAYS.

I think that I'll ask this chapter's question now. HAHA. And in all honesty, at first, I had no idea what I wanted to ask you guys, because there were so many things that I wanted to know your thoughts on. However, I settled for the question that seems the most obvious one I'd ask, which would be...

**Question: What do you think, based on the dialogue and context, do you think Riku imprinted onto Zero's keychain? ( HINT: It's two words ).**

The answer for this will be revealed next chapter, I swear! xD So drop me a review telling me your thoughts! I'm really eager to know what you guys think. (:

And that... concludes this chapter's author's note? HAHA. Once again, thank you so much! (:

Like it, love it, hate it? Please feel free to tell me!

I'll be impatiently awaiting your responses, and I'll probably be dying to respond to what you guys said, so... -grins-

Until next time? (:

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	24. Baring Their Souls

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Vampire Knight or the characters. Vampire Knight belongs solely to Matsuri Hino.**

**A/N :**

HI GUYSSSSSS! My exams are _finally _over! You guys have no idea how badly they killed me. Ugh. I was dying. Seriously. But now that they're done, I've had time to write, and I somehow managed to finish writing this chapter and edit all in a few hours! I know, I know, I'm amazing. ;D

... But then again, it DID take me about a month to update... BUT STILL.

In this chapter, what was written on the plate is revealed, so I hope you guys are looking forward to it! I don't really know what else to say except for the fact that summer break is going to start soon! Although... I really don't have a break since I'm going to be taking completion courses in the summer, but I'll still try my best to update and to write!

So without further ago, read on, m'loves, read on!

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER T_W_E_N_T_Y_F_O_U_R;**

_"Baring Their Souls"_

* * *

He wasn't there when I knocked.

Sighing, I folded my arms across my chest as I stared at the plain wood door in front of me. There was nothing in particularly special about it—it looked exactly like all the other doors that were implemented into the dorms. Yet in my eyes, just somehow, everything about it seemed different compared to everyone else's. It probably had something to do with the fact that it emitted a diverse vibe in comparison simply because I knew who resided behind the closed door. It made everything about it seem gloomier, sadder.

Normally, I wouldn't have cared whether or not the silver-haired vampire hunter was there or not. I would've barged in anyway, doing what I needed to do before leaving. However, today was a little bit different from all those other times. The conversation yesterday was still undoubtedly present in both our minds, and it was what made me hesitate.

I knew that if Amaterasu was awake, she would question me in that soft, melancholic voice of hers, "_What makes you think that that conversation changed anything between you two?"_And perhaps if she had actually said such a thing to me, I wouldn't have been so torn between leaving and just breaking into the room.

It made me realize just how much of my strength came from her and her words. And it also made me wonder just _when _did she become part of my strength?

We hadn't been on civil terms for years. It had only been a few days since we actually began speaking with each other like we were equals. Or, actually, maybe the word "equal" wasn't correct. It was more like we spoke to each other as if we _mattered_. We treated each other like we were some_one_ rather then some_thing_. However, yet again, that wasn't quite right. Because now I knew that throughout the years, I had always been someone to her.

She had just been nothing to _me_.

Compared to before, it was so incredibly different now. In such a short amount of time, everything changed so drastically. Maybe it was because she was _part _of me. I spent so much time with her because there was absolutely no way we could be apart, and that was why it seemed like I had been on decent terms with her for longer than reality.

Even as I stood in front of Zero's dorm room, I could still feel her resting inside of me. Although I had never seen a picture of her or had her describe herself to me, I somehow _knew_. Her long tresses of straight snow-white hair created a blanket around her as she slept. A slight frown tugged along her thin, delicate pink lips as her long eyelashes brushed along the tops of her cheekbones. Everything about her was beautiful and incredibly elegant. She looked like a damsel in distress as her enormous traditional kimono spread out around her. It was as if she was waiting for her prince to come along and wake her up.

Shaking my head to clear myself of any digressing thoughts, I focused my attention back to whether or not I should enter Zero's room. I had a feeling that Zero hated having his privacy breeched, but at the same time, he wouldn't create a huge fuss or wreck havoc because of it.

Refusing to turn back after I had gathered my guts to come so far, I reached out and grasped the handle, trying to turn it. Like I had expected, though, it was locked. Resisting the urge to heave another sigh, I pushed down forcefully on the handle and pulled it a bit to the left before turning it once more. There was an inaudible soft _click _as it unlocked.

I should've probably told Zero and Kaien about the lilac-eyed hunter's faulty lock, but I could never bring myself to. Or, to put it in more innocent terms, I always "_forgot_." Not that I didn't actually forget half the time—it wasn't as if I cared _that_ much about a stupid lock—but I realized that if I told Kaien and Zero about it and they had the lock fixed, that meant that I couldn't just sneak into Zero's room whenever I needed something from him. Half the time, the stupid idiot wasn't even in here, so it made borrowing things from him—with his permission—extremely difficult. He never seemed to be there when you wanted to ask him something, but he was always there during the times when you _didn't _want him there.

He had fun watching me suffer. Trust me, I knew it.

Entering his room, I made sure to shut his door behind me. The moment I entered, I was bombarded by Zero's distinctive scent. I wasn't sure what it was, but it smelt so like _him_. It was impossible to describe, but even his scent seemed to be able to convey everything about him. My eyes shut for a moment as an image of the tall hunter flashed through my mind—he was so indescribable, but I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Despite the years I had known him, I still wasn't able to truly comprehend anything about him. He was still an enigma to me. Sometimes, I came to the conclusion that while I _did_ understand him, I just couldn't follow him. His thoughts were alien to me. His actions were idiotic in my eyes. I _understood_, but I just couldn't understand _why_. And that was probably the key thing about him—_why _he did things.

My eyes swept over his room. It was dark since his blinds were closed and there wasn't much sunlight during December anyway, so I reached for the light switch and flicked on the lights. There was hardly anything about Zero's room that captured attention. Rather, it always looked incredibly empty. It was so plain. He hadn't done anything to it ever since arriving, but I supposed that I could've said the same for myself. Decorating a room that you weren't quite sure that you'd be staying in for much longer and making yourself at home seemed like such a hassle.

After all, that would just make it so much harder to leave.

Grimacing once again at my own thoughts, I shook my head in a futile attempt to get rid of them. They were always there, lurking in the back of my mind. No matter how hard I tried to banish them, I never seemed able to. They might be pushed into the dark recesses of my mind, bordering on being nonexistent, but they were still _there_. Visible. Sinister. Depressing. Untouchable. Half the time, I wanted to force myself to shut down just to get away from them.

Somehow, my feet carried me to his neat, almost spotless desk. There was hardly anything on it except for the standard lamp, some pens, pencils, erasers, and his stack of textbooks and binders. I didn't even need to look inside his binders to see that he hadn't taken any notes down for any of the lessons. It made me envious that albeit he was always sleeping in class, he was still able to get such amazing grades in his studies.

As I scrutinized the things on his desk, it was clear that what I was looking for wasn't there. I was just about to turn around and rummage through the rest of his room when I realized that something about his desk was odd. Lips tugging downwards, I reached over and carelessly picked up the folder on his desk. The covering was firm but soft, which was understandable considering the fact that the entire thing was enclosed by shiny black leather. At the top of the front covering, right in the middle and imprinted into the leather with silver, was the Hunters' Association symbol.

Zero was still getting orders from the Association? My eyes narrowed the more I thought about it. I was pretty sure that it had been agreed that Zero wouldn't have to carry out any of his true vampire hunter duties while he was at Cross Academy. Or, at the very least, that was what I had _assumed_. Considering the fact that I wasn't actually a vampire hunter myself, I had no clue what was truly going on in the Association, but it only seemed logical that they leave him alone while he was here. After all, he was a prefect. He spent long nights making sure that nothing suspicious or dangerous would take place at the academy. It was impossible for the Association to not be aware of the position he was in.

Ignoring the fact that it was probably confidential information and that they'd have my head if they ever found out I looked through the documents, I flipped open the fancy file. Inside one of the folds was a small stack of paper. It wasn't immensely thick, but it wasn't just one or two pages either. Walking over to Zero's bed, I flopped myself down on it and slipped the papers out of the slot, throwing the leather folder somewhere on the bed as well.

It didn't take long to figure out what all of the documents contained. Stopping halfway through the pile, I stared down at the picture of the vampire that had been printed on the page.

These were all the vampires that they wanted destroyed. Obviously, they had a much larger list than this, but they had sent Zero a small portion of it.

Looking down at the text in front of me, I took in the way that the vampire in the picture didn't look like a Level E. It was a man that appeared to be in his mid-thirties, his dark brown hair slicked back and his dark eyes obscured slightly by spectacles. He had long earrings dangling from his ears with nothing particularly special about them except for the intricate design of the chain. Although the earrings were definitely of the same pair, one was an odd shade of copper that looked like it was rusting while the other seemed to be made out of scratched gold. Everything about him seemed relatively neat and normal—there was nothing about him that suggested he was a Level E or that he was ridiculously bloodthirsty.

But as I continued reading on, I realized that he _wasn't_ a Level E. My eyebrows furrowed together a bit as I skimmed over his profile. Daiwa Tai, Level C, no family, skilled in close combat and in psychological torture, location unknown. He was wanted alive and to be brought back to the Association for interrogation and further inspection. Apparently, word had spread around that he was up to some shady stuff that would be breaching over five of the Association's laws. Although there was so much writing on the page about him, a lot of the information was so vague that it probably didn't even need to be there. It didn't seem like it to _me, _at the very least. I knew that hunters were generally specialized in a lot of things and were taught a variety of different skills, though Zero seemed to be an exception to that. For hunters, every bit of information was probably useful in some way, but I just couldn't see it.

I reached out for the folder so that I could place all the papers back inside it the way I found it. As I did so, I made a mental note to corner Kaien about the issue the next chance I got. To say that I could care any less about what the Association thought or said or did would be an understatement—until it involved my friends. That was when I had to butt my head in, whether they were okay with it or not.

Before I stood up from the bed, I looked around it to check to see if a certain object was lying around. After thoroughly searching—which included a bunch of messy bed-sheets and blankets that had been previously neatly made—I concluded that it wasn't there, either. I got up and walked over to his desk, placing the leather-bound file back where I found it. I didn't even bother fixing his bed as I moved to look around the rest of his room. Even if I tried to be really discreet about it, I knew that he'd find out I entered his room without permission the moment he came back.

Stupid enhanced vampire senses. And to top it off, he was a hunter as well.

It didn't take me very long to investigate Zero's room. After all, there was hardly anything in it. He barely had anywhere _to_hide things, and although I wasn't a vampire or a hunter, I had pretty sharp eyes and keen senses. It wasn't comparable to either of those races, but it was definitely better than a normal human's.

Unsatisfied with how things turned out, though I had a feeling it'd turn out this way, I left his room with a mild grimace on my face. I made sure to lock the door behind me as I left as well. It didn't really matter, since the only people on the entire academy grounds were just the four of us, but I knew that he did it just in case Yuuki were to stumble along and decide she wanted to sneak a peek into his life.

Once again, their relationship was so... heart-wrenching. Not to mention so _frustrating_.

There was no way that I was going to let myself get into another thought-party about the whole Kaname-Yuuki-Zero love triangle. Whenever I thought about it, I always came to the conclusion that involved thinking that they were all morons—which was a harsh thing to say about the two people I cared so immensely about, and another dude that I didn't quite hold any tender affection for—but it was true. There were so many things that any of them could do to change the situation, to make things better for themselves, but they never did.

I felt like it was because they were so selfless. All three of them were too freakin' _selfless. _They gave up so much for each other because they cared for each other so much, but it was like they didn't realize that it was their selflessness that was making each other suffer.  
_  
Stop, _my mind warned. I rolled my eyes at myself. Hadn't I just said that I wasn't going to delve into that again?

Cold, biting December air enveloped me in an embrace the moment I exited the males' Sun Dorms. There was a blanket of light gray clouds hanging overhead, enclosing the bright baby blue that the sky usually was during spring or summer and sometimes even fall. The trees were all bare at this point, their leaves having fallen around them like dresses. Judging from experience, I had no doubt that it would snow sometime soon. Although it wasn't a white Christmas, it would be definitely be a white winter.

A grimace contorted my face, and I hurried my footsteps back toward the building that Kaien lived in. I was extremely used to freezing temperatures, but I hated them with every fibre of my being. At the same time, I also despised hot weather. The only time when I was actually somewhat content with the weather and the temperature would be in the spring or the autumn, when it was neither too hot nor too cold. I loathed winter and summer an incredible amount, though I usually didn't show it.

Looking around myself and listening to my surrounding environment, I realized just how desolate it seemed when the students were away for vacation. Without the loud chitter chatter of the Day Class students as they hung out with their friends and the laughter that resounded through the air, it all seemed so empty. I had gotten used to seeing black uniforms bunched up together or couples walking down the paths. I was familiar with the giggles, the occasional squeals, and the guffaws. It was incredibly _odd _for all of that to have just vanished so quickly.

I had to remind myself that it was just another unneeded attachment.

Upon reaching Kaien's home, my arm reached out and I was just about to grasp onto the doorknob when it abruptly flung open. Somewhat startled, I stared up at a mildly surprised silver-haired male. He was dressed in warm casual clothing with an overcoat over everything, which prompted me to think he was going into town for one of two reasons: to fulfill his duties as a vampire hunter, or to carry out a chore that Kaien pushed onto him.

It turned out that I was wrong about both.

"Good," Zero said as he regained his barely-lost composure. "I don't have to go around looking for you."

I eyed him warily. I really doubted that he had figured out that I had broken into his dorm room. After all, I had _just _left that place, and there was no way he would be able to get there and back here faster than I did. I wanted to sigh, because that only meant that I'd be in for a long, displeasing chat with him later on. "What do you want?"

"We're going into town," he explained unenthusiastically. There was nothing about him that said he was excited to be going, but I had no idea _why _he would go if that was the case. And it was strange if he made me tag along on his Association duties.

"No, we're not," I objected. I did _not_want to have to follow him around while he did his business. It wasn't as if I hated Zero's company—on the contrary, it was quite the opposite, as we both seemed to understand each other quite well—but I knew that we would somehow get into an argument if we were alone together. The one thing that both our opinions clashed most fiercely on would have to be the issue surrounding Amaterasu and I. I didn't doubt that it would become the topic of our conversation at some point during our time together, and call me a coward, but I wanted to postpone that discussion for as long as I could.

Zero's signature scowl painted itself across his face. "If _I_ don't have a choice, what makes you think that _you _do?"

I stared at him for a moment like he was an idiot. "What are you talking about? Of course you have a choice. Are you stupid?"

His lavender eyes narrowed into a glower. Jabbing his thumb over his shoulder, he told me in a voice lined with irritation, "Tell that to the moronic, stupid excuse of a chairman."

Eyebrows knitting together just slightly, I would've shoved Zero off to the side if he hadn't moved out of my way on his own. I had to commend him for being able to predict my actions like that—it sure saved him a sore back. Sure enough, there were people behind him that had been blocked by his tall and muscular frame. Kaien and Yuuki were crouching down as they put on their shoes. Needless to say, they both looked up at me with bright, almost guilty, smiles as they stopped what they were doing.

"Ri-chan!" Kaien immediately straightened himself up and clasped his hands together. A twinkle sparked in his light toffee eyes as he stared at me with an enormous smile stretching across his face. "I'm so glad that you can make it!"

"'Make it'?" I repeated, staring at him with an expression that faintly questioned his sanity. "What are you talking about?" I felt like that phrase was turning into my signature saying. I couldn't even remember how many times I had said that in the past month, but I knew that it just _had _to be over a million.

Yuuki smiled apologetically at me, but from the way her eyes were shining brilliantly, it was clear that she was looking forward to whatever I knew I was going to get dragged into. "Come shopping with us, Riku!"

That one single word, which might as well have been torture to my mentality, instantly had me backing away from them with a glower on my face. _Shopping_? They were out of their minds if they thought that I'd go with them to do something that I loathed so much. "No."

"Don't be like that, Ri-chan!" Kaien exclaimed as he threw his arms around my neck. His face was too close for comfort as he continued beaming at me. "It's the day after Christmas! There are sure to be a lot of sales. Didn't you celebrate this day when you were in America, Ri-chan? If I remember correctly, it's called 'Boxing Day' right? It's such an odd name, but still! We're going to have our own little 'Boxing Day' in Japan!"

My facial expression froze at the mention of an unfamiliar holiday. _Boxing Day?_What the hell was that? It seemed familiar in the back of my mind, but I knew that I had never celebrated that public holiday. Quickly smoothing out my expression, I pretended to know what he was talking about. Either way, it didn't really matter to me. Anything that involved shopping was automatically crossed off of my list.

I gave them an unyielding look. "I'm _not _going shopping."

"You are _not_ leaving me alone with _that_." Zero's quiet, deep voice was speaking in a half-hiss. His glare told me that he would be ripping me apart limb from limb if I somehow managed to get out of the situation and he didn't.

"That hurts, Kiriyuu-kun!" Kaien gave a pout to the vampire hunter who merely turned away in disgust. Turning to look at me again, Kaien reached out and grabbed my hands with his, staring at me with a sincerely gentle expression. "Come and have fun with us, Ri-chan! It can't be nearly as bad as you think."

"No," I agreed flatly. When his expression brightened, I just crushed his hopes again as I said, "It can be ten hundred million times _worse_."

Yuuki gave a shot at trying to persuade me as she gazed at me with her ruby orbs. "You only dislike shopping when you're trying to pick out a gift for someone, right? We're not going out to shop for gifts this time, so it should be fine! You don't even need to buy anything if you don't want to—this is just solely shopping for _yourself_."

I thought about the money that I had left in my wallet and came up with a blank. After spending so much money on Christmas gifts, I had absolutely _no_ cash left. Needless to say, I was as broke as someone could ever be without being in debt. An urge to sigh overwhelmed me for a moment, but I pushed it back down. Although I wasn't a person who _loved _money and always made sure to spend as little as I needed to, I also didn't like the thought of being completely broke.

But I really shouldn't be complaining since I had enough money stowed away to make my great escape if I needed to.

Kaien seemed to catch onto my silence and my thoughts, but not entirely. He was only a bit off the mark as he generously offered, "And you don't need to worry about money at all, Ri-chan! As my lovely, delightful, adorable daughter, Daddy will buy anything you want! Just tell me, and before you even blink, Daddy will—"

"I'm not your daughter, Kaien," I reminded him apathetically, yet I knew my eyes betrayed my tone. I could see my own affectionate eyes reflecting back at me through his light amber ones. I instantly scowled to hide it. "And I refuse to use or take any money from you."

"Oh, don't be like that!" Kaien waved off what I said dismissively. Linking his arm with mine, he began to walk out the door. "Let us go! Oh, it's going to be so much fun!"

I tried breaking free of his grip, aware of what he was doing. "Hey, no, what are you—I never _agreed_to go!"

Yuuki's crimson gems were pleading as she caught my eyes. "Please, Riku?" She looked so innocent, so hopeful, I almost gave in. _Almost_.

"Why don't you guys understand the meaning behind the word 'no?'" I demanded, still trying to get my arm released from Kaien's iron grip. Although my heels were digging into the floor in an attempt to stop us from moving, it was proved futile as the straw-haired chairman merely began to drag me along with ease.

"Just this once, Ri-chan! It'll be fun, I swear!" Kaien insisted. Seeing the skeptical look that I gave him, he explained cheerfully, "You're with your beloved, amazing daddy! There's _no way _that you won't have fun! And not only that, but Kiriyuu-kun and Yuuki-chan are here, too! Our whole family is going shopping together—isn't this exciting? It's so warm, right? Right?"

Not one to beat around the bush, I honestly replied, "No." At his horrified and hurt look, I elaborated, "Shopping is neither exciting nor fun. Ever. It doesn't matter who I'm with."

"Just give it up," Zero sighed from behind me. When I looked at him over my shoulder, his amethyst eyes met my own pale lilac oceans as he said, "You can't get out of this."

I knew that he was right. If _Zero _couldn't rid his presence in this little trip, then I was highly doubtful that I could. At first, I had been hoping that the only reason Zero got roped into going was because Kaien either played a guilt card on him or that Yuuki's innocently alluring charm had enticed him into agreeing, but neither seemed to be the case. I should have known, though. The silver-haired hunter might do anything and everything to save Yuuki and ensure her wellbeing, but there was no way he'd do something he despised as much as shopping just because she wanted him to.

Or, at the very least, that was what I _hoped_. I liked to think that Zero wasn't _that _pathetically weak when it came to the brunette prefect, but because I knew that life abhorred me more than anything, I knew that I would be proven wrong at some point. I could only pray that it wouldn't be anytime soon.

Shaking my head at them, I tried one more time to sway their decisions of letting me stay back. "I _loathe_ shopping. I'll kill the store managers with my face the moment I enter the shop. I really, _really _don't want to go."

"And why not?" Kaien questioned lightly, his eyes flickering over to meet mine. I shot him a nasty look, because I knew that he knew why. For some reason, it was almost as if he was deliberately attempting to rub salt over my open wounds.

"What about me has ever suggested that I like shopping?" I countered, subtly evading the question. But I didn't expect his next answer, which was why it knocked the wind out of me. If I had known what he would've said, I wouldn't have tried to dodge his question at all.

"The you from before loved shopping."

Endeavouring to calm the raging storm that had been riled up instantly at his words, I pressed my lips tightly together and bit down on my tongue. My hands fisted together into white balls, my posture immediately straightening even more as my body became rigid. I had to remind myself again and again that I wasn't supposed to get angry at something like this anymore. I had to tell myself that I was over it, and that it was bound to become the topic of conversation a thousand times more than it had been before. In a pathetic attempt to soothe the hot, blazing emotions inside of me that would've simply torn everything I could to pieces, I pointed out to myself that if I didn't want to be affected by it, then I would simply have to get used to it, and in order to get used to it, I would have to talk about it until it no longer had a hold on me.

Struggling not to yank on Kaien's hair—or worse, punch him in the face, which sounded a _lot _more tempting and probably what I would have done if I didn't have so much self-control—I remained silent for a few moments. Trying not to wince from the pain that also sprouted inside my chest at his words that pierced right through me and hit home, I put a lot of effort into making sure that nothing showed on my face.

Finally, I managed to say evenly, "But that's the thing, Kaien. That was _before_."

He didn't even need a nanosecond to come up with a reply. "I'm sure that she's still in you somewhere. You just need to find her." When he caught my eyes and saw the emotions behind them, he merely smiled at me. It wasn't the kind of smile that he used when keeping up with his pretence, but one that was simply _Kaien_. It was laced with genuine softness and kindness, and it had my lips automatically trying to pull upwards as well.

Unfortunately, smiling seemed foreign to me, and I was sure that it came out in a choking grimace instead.

And I had to hand it to Kaien—he seriously knew how to shut me up, because for the rest of the journey to town, I didn't protest it even once.

Which was, of course, something that I regretted more than anything half an hour after we arrived.

"Which one do you think looks better, Riku?" Yuuki's expression was one of concentrated pondering as she held up two sweaters. One was a light gray turtleneck with a design along the collar and on the sleeves, while the other was a dark chocolate wool sweater that had the brand's logo enlarged in an eye-catching manner in the front and back.

It took everything that I had to stop myself from twitching at her question. I was pretty sure that anyone—even if it was a random stranger on the streets of some deserted city—knew, just by looking at me, that I was _not _the person to ask advice or help for when it came to fashion. I liked to think that I wasn't absolutely horrible when it came to how I dressed, but I was also aware that I didn't really understand what others thought were really fashionable. I didn't follow any of the latest trends, nor did I care.

"They're both nice," I eventually sighed.

Unsatisfied with my answer, Yuuki persisted, "There has to be one that you like better than the other. Which one do you think suits me better?"

"Don't you hate turtlenecks?" I answered.

She paused for a moment, thinking it over. "Good point." She placed the gray sweater back onto the rack and kept the other one. It didn't take another second for her to continue going through the rack of clothing, trying to find her next outfit to mull over. When she noticed that I was just standing there with my hands folded across my chest and a less than pleasant look on my face, she gestured for me to join her. "Come look at these sweaters, Riku! Some of them are really pretty, and I think that they'd look great on you!"

"No, it's alright," I declined. The only reason that my tone was expressionless was because I had fought desperately to keep the disgust out of it. Even though I wasn't shopping for anyone else, I didn't in particularly like shopping for myself, either. I hated the feeling of being torn between two things that I liked, not knowing which one was the one that I wanted more. It was best to simply not shop unless I absolutely had to—not to mention the fact that I didn't suddenly become rich within the hour that I had spent with Kaien, Yuuki, and Zero. I was still broke. And I was still determined to not spend any of Kaien's money.

"But Riku—"

"Where's Zero?" I interrupted, trying to change the subject. I wasn't quite sure how successful it'd be, as I knew that Yuuki wasn't as unobservant as others might think. Sure, she was pretty damn oblivious to other people's feelings towards her, but she wasn't completely blind to her surroundings. Or, well, she wasn't totally clueless when someone tried escaping a subject that she felt strongly about. And I had no idea why, but she seemed to think quite resolutely about this shopping topic.

The brunette guardian looked around her for a moment, taking notice that the pale-eyed hunter was indeed not with us. For a moment, worry clouded her features as her eyes swept around us, spotting Kaien two stores down as he danced around with one of the large hugging pillows. However, as she remembered what he had told us earlier, she informed me of what I already knew. "He said he had something to do and left. If I remember correctly, he said that he'd come and find us again later when he was done."

I nodded my head to show her that I understood. When he had first muttered it to us, I had been incredibly curious as to what he was going to be doing, but I knew that if he didn't mention it, then he wouldn't tell me about it even if I had asked. I could have followed him, but it was foolish to think that he wouldn't have noticed my presence right away. His stupid vampire and hunter senses were too sensitive, too honed. So I couldn't do anything but just wait and then hope that I could squeeze the answer out of him one way or another when he came back.

"Riku, Riku!" Yuuki exclaimed. When I made a noncommittal sound, wondering what she wanted from me and hoping to the ends of the earth that it wasn't going to be my opinion on other articles of clothing, she turned around with a flourish to show me what she had in her hands. It was a black wool sweater dress that didn't have sleeves and seemed too short and exposing to be worn in the winter. "What do you think?"

I eyed it in distaste. "No."

"You don't like it?" she asked, sounding mildly dejected.

"It's..." I tried to soften the blow, "not my style."

Her nose scrunched up slightly as she slowly nodded her head. "Yeah, you're right."

"But if _you _like it, then by all means," I encouraged her. I didn't even want to think about the look that Zero would give her, or the deadly glare he would send my way once he found out that I had actually let her buy a piece of clothing like that.

Shaking her head, Yuuki's strands of dark walnut hair danced lightly with the soft motion. "I'm not looking at something for myself."

Her implications were clear and terrifying. "I don't want anything, Yuuki."

"That's not true," she objected. "There has to be _something _at this place that you like. You're just not looking around for it."

"There's a _reason _for that," I reminded her.

"Isn't it just because you don't want to spend Chair—Daddy's money?" She continued rummaging through the clothes that were hanging on the rack. Sometimes, she would stare at a sweater for a few seconds then move on and never look back at it, but there were times when she would barely give one of the clothing pieces a glance, and then go back to stare at it a few seconds after she had passed it.

"No," I responded in a blasé tone. "There's more to it than that."

"Maybe," she half-agreed. Looking at me over her shoulder, she smiled brightly. "But that doesn't mean I can't look at something and think, 'Oh, maybe Riku will like this,' right?"

I wanted to tell her yes, and that she _couldn't _look at something and think that I would like it. The chances of finding something that I would actually approve of and wear on a regular basis was slim, especially since Yuuki's taste in clothes completely differed from mine. Her choices were more feminine than I could ever dream of mine being, and the colours she genuinely liked were much too cheery for me. But since I couldn't say anything like that to someone as frail and as delicate as Yuuki, I swallowed all those responses. I forced them behind, shoving all the rude or offensive responses down my throat. It didn't matter if it was just mildly harsh—I ate it without even chewing and tried my best not to puke it back up.

Shrugging a shoulder, I merely said, "To each their own."

She smiled brightly at me in response, turning back to face the racks as she continued her search for something that she thought I would like.

And I could only hope that the day would end soon. Soon as in before I bit my tongue off trying to keep my discourteous comments to myself. Which, let's face it, could only last so long.

I had to keep myself from choking when Yuuki turned around again a few minutes later, holding up two other garments.

* * *

Lying on my own bed in my beat-up, still unfixed room, I stared blankly up at the marked, ruined ceiling and wondered when the renovation team would get here to fix everything up. Without a doubt, I wanted to be in the room when they came in to assess the damage. I couldn't even imagine the looks on their faces when they came in and saw just what had happened to the room. They probably thought that an elephant had been brought in, or that I was some sort of crazy psychopath. After all, it really did seem impossible for any rational human being to pulverize a room to such an extent.

With my eyes closed, I tried to ignore the thoughts that lurked around in the back of my mind, reminding me of what had occurred on that day. I didn't want to remember the way Shiki had acted or the way I had responded. Embarrassment and shame seemed to flood my system every time I thought about how I had simply broken down in front of him, letting all my barriers fall to the floor. I never would have thought that something like that would ever happen, let alone in the presence of a maroon-haired model that was just as seemingly unfeeling as I was.

Seemingly.

Sighing, I squeezed my eyes tightly for a second before I opened them again. Turning my head away from the ceiling to stare at the one of my walls, I was so surprised that I nearly toppled off of my bed and onto the floor.

Glowering incredulously at him, I asked, "Why are you here?"

"Do you have the right to ask me that after you broke into my room?" Zero countered swiftly. He was leaning against my doorframe casually, his arms folded across his broad chest. His pale, light eyes carefully scrutinized every move that I made, not missing anything at all. He had been so quiet that I didn't even realize he was there. It was another thing about Zero that had changed over the course of the years—he used to be immensely quiet, but he would still make soft sounds that would give away his presence. Now a vampire, he no longer did that.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or laugh at his words. What came out of my mouth was something that was a mix of a dismissive scoff and a sheepish, guilty snort. Pushing myself up to sit upright to look at him properly, I decided that since he didn't _look_ like he wanted to rip my head apart and that he hadn't started threatening me yet meant that he wasn't as angry as I thought he'd be. Although he didn't look livid at the fact that I had went into his room without his permission, he _did _look incredibly grave. A solemn aura surrounded Zero even more than it usually did.

Not quite sure how to approach him when he was in this state, I was about to repeat my question from earlier, but he spoke before a word could be uttered from my lips. Without moving from where he stood, he asked, "How'd you get in?"

Unprepared for that question, my eyebrows pulled together as I looked at him. "Huh?"

His scowl spoke volumes. "I know you heard me."

"Shut up," I retorted. It was a lame comeback, but I really couldn't think of anything better to say. I could either answer his question honestly and tell him that there was a trick to opening his lock, but if I did that, he would definitely get it fixed and that meant that I wouldn't be able to sneak into his room in the future. However, if I lied about it... Well, _that _was an easy debate. Looking at him straight in the eye, I exercised my expertise. "I climbed in through your window."

"It was locked," came his flat, swift reply.

"No it wasn't," I lied just as quickly.

Zero gave me an unreadable look. "I think I'd know, Riku."

"_Right_," I replied sarcastically. "Because you're _so _self-aware."

"More than you are, at least," came his reply.

I scoffed in disbelief at him. I felt a small, thin blanket of irritation wrapping itself around me, but I pushed it aside. I knew that he was deliberately stepping on my toes, and I wasn't going to let it get to me. Or, well, I was going to _try_and be unaffected. "I'm completely self-aware, Zero."

"You're horrible at understanding others," he told me frankly. His beautiful mauve eyes fluttered around the room, taking in the damage that I had done to the poor place. I could tell that he wasn't displeased by what I had done, though. I was pretty sure that he was satisfied that I had caused enough trouble to irritate Kaname.

"We've established that a long time ago," I returned. When a silence settled between us and remained sleeping, I began to wonder what he was still doing here. Zero wasn't the kind of guy who had a ton of time on his hands. It was beyond strange why he was simply standing there, observing me and glancing around my wrecked room.

It was like he was waiting for something, but I really didn't know what.

Deciding that it was better not to ask him what he was doing here again, because I was sure he would simply dodge the question like he seemed to be a master at doing, I settled for quenching part of my curiosity. "You ditched me earlier today."

"And?"

"What the hell were you thinking?" I scowled at him. Annoyance was weaved into my tone as I continued, "I _hate_ shopping. You know this, and you _still_ left me there with Yuuki and Kaien? Seriously, Zero? _Seriously_?"

He didn't look guilty about it in the least. Instead, I could've sworn that a glint of amusement lighted his eyes. It was evident that he enjoyed watching me suffer. However, as fast as that spark in his grave lavender eyes came, it vanished just as fast. Like a candle that got blown out, it flickered and disappeared. "I had something that I needed to do."

"Which was?" Contrary to the impassive and bored tone that I was speaking with, I was actually dying to know. It wasn't as if I was going to let him know, though. It wasn't rare for Zero to walk out on things like family gatherings to do his own business, but that didn't make me any less interested to find out what he actually left to do.

Wordlessly, he uncrossed his arms from his chest and reached into the pocket of his pants. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he had already thrown what he had taken out toward me. I raised an arm, the object smacking into my palm as I caught it out of the air by instinct and reflexes. Even before I looked at it, I knew what it was.

My arm fell back to my side, my hand resting on my lap. I didn't open my clenched fingers as I clasped my hand around the cool metal tighter. Stiffened considerably, I could only stare at Zero, not knowing what I was supposed to do next.

And like the genius he was, he only stared back at me expectantly.

I blinked. After a long moment of motionless silence, my voice was barely audible. "Why are you giving this to me?"

"Look at it," he instructed.

Slowly, I shook my head once. "I don't want to."

"Why not?" His eyes were piercing as he looked at me.

What would he say if I told him that I was too scared? What if I told him that I was tired of breaking down? I felt like I just needed a few days to pick myself up again, to mend myself back together in order to keep myself from falling apart. I didn't want to walk around and leave behind a trail of pieces. I wanted to be put back together, and I wouldn't be able to do that if things just kept tearing me apart before I had the chance to even pick everything up off the floor again. I was beginning to be afraid of that feeling—the sensation of having everything crumble around me again.

"I..." I stopped, not because I couldn't find the right words to express my thoughts, but simply because I didn't know which thoughts were the right ones.

Zero somehow seemed to understand me even though I didn't say anything. His lavender eyes, which were fixated on me with so much careful attention, caught my own for a few more heartbeats before they flickered away. I didn't know how, but Zero was a complete and utter contradiction. I wasn't sure if I loved him for it, or if I hated him. He seemed to understand me so well, but at the same time, it was like we didn't see the same things. I wanted to understand him just like how he understood me, but for some reason, it seemed impossible to do so.

In a quiet, silently meaningful tone, Zero told me, "Go sleep in that bloodsucker's room. You'll freeze if you stay here." And without another word, the tall silver-haired hunter exited the room soundlessly. I stared at his retreating figure, watching as he pushed himself off the doorframe and pivoted around with the grace of a gazelle. Even after he disappeared from my sight, I continued staring at the place where he had just been, somewhat lost in a daze.

For the next few minutes, which could have been an eternity, I remained still and stoic. Something inside me was numb, and it had eventually spread to other parts of my body, almost as if I had been submerged in freezing water for too long and could no longer feel anything. My mind, while in complete and utter havoc, was also like the calm before a storm. I was more than simply confused, but I didn't know how to clear the tangles in my mind.

At some point, my eyes fell down to my fisted hand. My knuckles were as white as freshly fallen snow, and the metal object's points were digging painfully into my skin. I was so aware of what it was, but why was I so afraid to open my hand and take a look? It felt like if I saw it in my hands, then it would seem _that _much more real. It would mean that Zero had just shoved my own feelings, which I had given to him, back into my face with disgust.

I felt so vulnerable, having it in my hands. After giving the keychain to him, I felt like maybe I had gotten rid of those feelings. It made my chest feel lighter—I had been completely honest with my emotions. Engraved onto that silver plate were words that had been stripped of any barriers or walls. They were selfish words. They were words that I would never, _ever_be able to say aloud to him or anyone else. I had imprinted it into the plate in hopes of never seeing them again, of never having anyone actually understand them—I had just wanted to, for once, get rid of those greedy feelings inside of me.

I guess it wasn't fair of me to push it onto Zero. In my defense, though, I didn't know that he would actually remember our little code. It had been so many years ago, after all. The only reason that I remembered was because I had nothing better to do over the years—things like what had happened between he, Yuuki, and I had been the memories that kept me sane. Things like Kaien's smile and his warm embrace had been what made it possible to get through the day without being broken down.

Sighing, I shut my eyes tightly. My hands clenched even more around the keychain. For some reason, my hand trembled.

He wanted me to see it. Zero, for whatever reason, wanted me to take a look at the gift that I had given him with my own selfish wish written on it. I knew that he wasn't cruel enough to do it for the fun of it, but I didn't understand why he had given it back to me. He had seemed so grave, so solemn, as he looked at me. There were emotions in his eyes that seemed so deep, but I just couldn't decipher them. I didn't know what he was trying to tell me.

Opening my eyes again, I hung my head back down to stare at my faintly quaking fist. With my long onyx hair creating a curtain around me and the object, I breathed in and chanted inside my head, _I can do this. _But even though that was what I kept telling myself, and even though I was trying so hard to open my hand, I just couldn't. It was like it had been frozen, but I knew that it was just because I couldn't bring myself to open it. I didn't have enough courage to.  
_  
Open it,_ I told myself sternly. _What could possibly be there? You've seen it before. It's okay. Open it. If you don't want it, you can throw it out. You can trash it or give it back to Zero. It doesn't matter. Just open it. Breathe. Breathe in. It's okay. You _won't_ fall apart. _And, as one last push, my mind forced out aggressively, _Don't disappoint him!_

My fingers unfurled.

Inside my chest, my heart thumped hard and fast inside my chest, fear shooting through my veins in sparks as I gazed down at the shiny, unscratched silver keychain.  
_  
You've already made it this far.  
_  
Knowing that the voice inside my head was right, I sucked in a deep breath. I shouldn't be such a coward. I had already opened up my hand anyway. There was no point in going back anymore. If I was going to back out of it in the end, then I shouldn't have opened up my hand in the first place.

Tentatively, I picked up the keychain. My fingertips brushed over the delicate chain and then glided over the smooth surface of the thin plate. There was nothing imprinted on this side, which meant that my words had been engraved on the other side. Taking a moment to steel myself, I swallowed the lump in my throat before slowly flipping it around.

In a secret code made of symbols were the two words that I had stamped into the silver metal. However, that wasn't what caught my eye. My heart seemed to pound even harder, my palms clamming up. My eyes were wide as I stared at what had been imprinted underneath my own words. It was the exact same code, but it was written unmistakably in Zero's writing.

And as I reread the two words he had burned into the silver plate over and over again, they eventually became just a mere blur in my vision. Everything was unclear as tears flooded my eyes, falling thunderously onto the back of my hands, the plate, the blanket.

My heart seemed to burst. An explosion seemed to have been detonated inside of me. It hurt. It hurt so much, but it was somehow warm. Everything inside me was in turmoil by his words.

I shut my eyes tightly in an attempt to stop the tears from falling, but it was a futile action. I wondered how this keychain became a plate where we would be engraving such vulnerable thoughts. I wondered why he had unveiled so much to me. He wasn't supposed to say something that was so exposing. To him, it was something that showed his weakness.

So why...?

I couldn't help but think that maybe it was better if he hadn't written it at all.

* * *

_Don't forget._

_Don't go.  
_

* * *

**A/N:**

And that concludes the twenty-fourth chapter of Shitsuren! I hope that you guys liked it!

I'm sorry if it isn't as up to par as my few previous chapters. I had been writing parts of it while being REALLY sleepy, and it didn't turn out _quite _as well as I had wanted. And FOR SOME REASON, some words that I had written in italics may string together with the word after it. I have no idea why that happened after I submitted the document onto the site, but it did. I tried catching all of them, but I'm not quite sure I did. I'm sorry about that, guys! OTL. Everything's gone kind of crazy and I'm trying to fix it. The fact that it's not fixed tells you a lot about how well it went. ;_;

As always, I apologize for any spelling mistakes, grammar errors, or any OOCness that might have happened during the chapter!

SPECIAL LOVE AND THANKS FOR MY LOVELY REVIEWERS;

**Anemos, Smirk 'N' Sweat Drop, Lianne Sabrina, sky of c-o-l-o-r-s, KuroNightroad, shatteredxcrystals, Shadow of a Broken Angel, KusajishiFukutaicho, Rane Kurodo, ZabuzasGirl, Astin, Princesa de la Luna, KimiKat19, XXTakaraXX, luvJesusInHeavn, x3sYellowie, Shekame, xXMizukiXx, AliceMarieSwan, Youknowwhothisis, SilverNeira, MaMZg67, and Sh3lby**

Thank you so much for your amazing and encourage reviews! I appreciate it so much!

Also, thanks to everyone who favourited and alerted as well! (:

I'm sure everyone knows what's coming up next, right? WALLS OF TEXT. RESPONSE TIME, YAY! xD

To **Anemos**;

HAHA. I don't hear from you all the time, so when I saw that you were my first reviewer, I was surprised. But in a good way, of course! (: Thank you for your compliment! And ahh, my chapter titles... Well, some authors make their title first and then write their chapter based on their title, right? But I'm the complete opposite. I write my chapters out first and then write the title, which is somehow related to the chapter. It's usually based on what I consider the most significant part of the chapter, or what I want my readers to pay most attention to. Shitsuren's chapter titles are actually pretty literal. You're also a reader of Heterochromia, right? Well, Heterochromia's titles are a lot more figurative. Half the time, the titles don't seem to relate to story. Not at first glance, at least. But one way or another, the chapter titles for all my stories are based on the part that I want my readers to keep in mind the most. Sorry, I'm horrible at answering questions! OTL. And all of your musings will be answered as the story progresses, so I hope you look forward to it! But in all honesty, Zero already has a gist of what's going on, which is proved in this chapter. Now you know what was written on the plate! I hope you liked it, and thank you so much for your amazing review! (:

To **KuroNightroad**;

NONO, IT'S OKAY. I was just worried! Your art is so beautifullll. I don't understand how it doesn't kill you to create such masterpieces. ;_; LOLLL. I think that you're overworking yourself! I don't want you to spend so much time on my story when you have your own amazing characters to draw! ;O ASDFGHJJKL. Your compliments are so flattering... LOL. Thank you! I'm glad that you like them so much. (: LMFAO. I think that if Riku had imprinted that onto the plate, Zero would have destroyed her. There wouldn't have even been any discussion; he would have just shoved that thing back at her. Thank you so much for your thoughts on the chapter, and I hope you liked this one! I'll be looking forward to our PMs! =P

To **shatteredxcrystals**;

To be honesty, sometimes even I find it hard to imagine Riku when she was younger. And that's saying a lot, eh? And thank you so much! I think that hearing that I keep the characters actually in character is one of the best praises to get as an author that writes fanfiction, so you have no idea how happy that makes me! And nah, I was really vague about what she engraved onto it, so no worries! And thank you! My exams finished just yesterday, but I'm stuck with completing courses during the summer to make room for next year's schedule. -sighs- How'd your exams go? (: Thank you so much for your review and for your support! I hope that you liked this chapter! (:

To** Shadow of a Broken Angel**;

I should be thanking YOU for reading! So thank you~ And HAHA. That's really flattering. Thanks so much for the compliment, although I'm not quite sure how many ShikixOC fanfics there are out there. =P Thank you! I just finished my exams yesterday. How did yours go? ;D Thank you, as always, for your support! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! (:

To **KusajishiFukutaicho**;

Hmm. Well... You'll just have to continue reading to find out what happens! Trust me, something DOES happen. I hope that you look forward to what I have planned for Riku and Shiki. -grins- I'M HORRIBLE WITH TENSION AND ANGST, THOUGH. D; Or, well, that's what I think. LOL. -DIES- I'm fine with rambling as long as you're okay with it! =P Thank you for your support and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! ;D

To **ZabuzasGirl**;

Well... That's only IF he takes over her body... right? (: Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

To** KimiKat19**;

SADFGHJKL. If you continue praising me like that, my ego will get huge. ): Nobody wants an author who has overwhelming arrogance, right? xD I'm glad that you think that I keep all the characters in character, though! And it makes me happy that you like my story that much. I'VE FINALLY UPDATED! I hope that you like it, and thank you so much for your support! (:

To **Shekame**;

Pfft, there are no super-off guesses! I mean, I wasn't even specific about what she could have written. =P Thank you for your compliment! And in all honesty, I have no idea how many more chapters there will be of Shitsuren. I'm... hoping that it's under fifty? LOL. It's PROBABLY not going to exceed 45 chapters. Probably. I honestly have no idea. I'm making no promises. xD I just kinda write as I go along. I don't plan how many chapters I want to have or how long they'll be. Sorry that I'm so vague! And no, I don't. This fanfic doesn't really follow VK's actual plot. They're great questions to ask, trust me! There's no stupid question unless it's one that's left unasked. =P Thank you so much for your support, and I hope that you enjoyed the update! (:

To **xXMizukiXx**;

Ah, well, I hope that I updated this before you have school, too? For me, I'm actually off-school right now, so... xD No, please don't say sorry! I understand perfectly. I'm just happy to know that I have your support! Thank you so much for your loyalty. -grins- It's definitely very pleasing to hear. LOL. Thank you so much for your encouragement, and I hope that you like this chapter as well! (:

To **MaMZg67**;

Yes, I love Zero and Riku together! It's fun writing about them~ I think that this chapter goes into more depth about how Riku sees their relationship, though. I can't wait to write about Shiki and Riku together... Argh, I'm dying. HAHA. As much as I love writing about her and the Cross family, I think that writing about Shiki and her is more fascinating. OTL. She didn't forget! She's just too embarrassed whenever she thinks about it, so she tries not to think about it at all. xD I finally updated, so I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for your continuous support! (:

To **Sh3lby**;

Ugh, I know what you mean. ): I love you, too! (: I planned for the conversation between the two of them to be hard to decipher ;D And yeah, I really don't think that they're going to have a proper kiss anytime soon. Thank you so much for your encouraging review and for your compliments! They make me feel all fuzzy inside. ;D You'll have to keep updated with this story if you want to see what happens between the two of them! I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though Shiki isn't in it! xD

AND DONE!

A lot of you guys were so close when it came to last chapter's question! I don't think that I was being very fair, though. xD I just kind of threw it at you guys and gave you such a vague and unhelpful hint. But really, a lot of you were so close! Some of your ideas were ones that I had considered, but I decided to do something a bit more unpredictable, and I hope that you guys liked what I came up with! Thank you guys so much for participating in answering the questions; it really made me happy that so many of you guys were sharing your thoughts with me! ;D

And this chapter will also have a question, like always!

**QUESTION: How do you feel about what Zero wrote underneath what Riku had engraved?**

I hope that you guys will answer this question just like you had done with the previous question! I'd honestly love to hear your thoughts and what you think! (:

I hope to update sometime soon, but I'm really not sure. I'm up for a long and hard summer, with summer school and a lot of volunteering, but I'll definitely try my best to update as often as I can! So please continue to support me, yes? (:

Tell me what you thought of the chapter; loved it, liked it, hated it? I'm free to hear your thoughts, and I swear I don't bite. (: Send me a review! Or PM me if you want! (:

I hope that I'll see you guys soon! And like always, I'm so thankful for all your support! (:

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	25. Asphyxiating

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Vampire Knight or the characters. Vampire Knight belongs solely to Matsuri Hino. And no, I also don't own Pocky.**

**A/N:**

ASDFGHJKL.

It's been over a month since I last updated! I'M SO SORRY. July was just hectic for me, and I only had the past few days to write. Shitsuren was the last on my list to write a chapter for, since I usually update the other ones much slower, so... ASDGNOWENB. B-Because I'm a fair person, you know? R-Right?

I really wanted to update in July. Specifically July 27th, because that would've marked Shitsuren's _three years _of being in progress. It's been such a long time, guys... Seriously. I mean, THREE YEARS, WHAT? I can't believe it. I feel kind of sad that it's been dragging on so long, but at the same time, I feel like I don't want it to end. OTL.

ARGH, I'M SORRY I MISSED THE ANNIVERSARY. D;

I'll skip out on long, long, LONG paragraphs trying to express how grateful I am. I'll sum it all up in a few sentences for you guys:

Thank you so much for sticking with me all these years. I couldn't have made it this far without you guys, and I'll continue to try harder to update faster, and give you guys better chapters, too. I hope that you guys will continue supporting me, and I can't even begin to express how touched, happy, and encouraged I am by your constant reviews and words. You guys all inspire me. So thank you so much.

HAPPY BELATED THREE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY, SHITSUREN! -throws confetti-

And because I know half of you are like, "CAN WE READ THE CHAPTER NOW?" I'll stop talking.

Read on, my loves, read on! (:

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER T_W_E_N_T_Y_F_I_V_E;**

_"Asphyxiating"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN_  
_

* * *

_Transparent, floating, and clearly not human, I found myself staring down at the scene in front of me with uninterested eyes. I wasn't one of those people who weren't aware of when they were dreaming—it seemed very obvious to me that I wasn't in reality, nor was I dead. It was the first time that I had a dream in which I was watching from a third perspective though, and I found it a bit strange. But what I found oddest about this particular dream was that I didn't recognize the setting at all._

_Large, grand, majestic stones made up the architecture of buildings that stood proudly a few miles away. With their pointed rooftops and mini-towers jutting out from the sides, none of them looked familiar to me. Some of the concrete structures looked like they could be small castles. I wouldn't have been surprised if they _were_._

_Focusing my eyes on the scenery closer to me, my light lavender eyes swept over the tree tops that encircled the meadow I was standing a few meters above. The leaves on the branches were bright green, some of them cushioning budding flowers. The large, towering plants almost seemed to act like a barrier as they enclosed a spacious, large expanse of land that was covered in long strands of green grass and vibrant flowers of all species. It was a wonderful meadow that had so many colours painting it—green, yellow, red, pink, white, violet, orange... Numerous buds had flourished into dazzling flowers that brightened everything up._

_My eyes darted up to look at the sky, taking note of how the sun was shining down on me, yet I didn't feel any heat or warmth. The sky was a bright baby blue with puffs of clouds playing tag along it, but none of them covered up the shining sun. I concluded that with such nice weather and so many flowers in full bloom, it had to be summer._

_Wondering how it'd feel to step on air, I was just about to try walking around the place. However, just as I was about to take a step forward, two moving figures caught my attention from the corner of my eyes. Pausing in my action of placing one foot in front of the other, I turned my head to see who had entered the luscious meadow._

_When they came into my range of sight, my eyes raked over their appearances. One was a female while the other was a male, and at first, I mistook them as a couple. They looked like a beautiful match, but as the girl reached out and clutched onto his arm, he squirmed uncomfortably._

_They were both beautiful._

_With loosely curled onyx hair that was tied back as a half-ponytail, a lightly tanned woman pointed a finger at something in particular, but I really didn't understand what she was pointing at. To me, everything in the vacant stretch of the field looked exactly the same. But she laughed, her dark eyes glittering as she did so. Her smile lit up her entire face, but something about her looked off. The aura that surrounded her didn't seem as sweet and kind as she acted, and an odd glint tainted her unfathomable eyes._

_A sense of familiarity filled me, but it was one that made my gut wrench painfully and my stomach knot. My eyes narrowed at her slightly as I wracked my brain for a reason as to why she looked like someone I knew, but when the recollection hit me like I wanted it to, I nearly staggered and tripped._

_Chikafuji Akui._

_A scowl twisted itself onto my face. I didn't understand what was happening. What was going on? Why was I dreaming about that stupid excuse of a living being? I doubted that I had some kind of hidden affection for her—I was a hundred and twenty percent sure that I absolutely loathed that thing. I couldn't even view her as a person anymore. She was so low on my list that she was practically an _"it."

_I wanted to go down there and strangle her to death. I wouldn't have cared if her male companion would look at me, horrified and afraid, as I choked her to death. I wasn't kind enough to believe Akui deserved to live. I wasn't the kind of person who gave forgiveness simply because I _believed _people could change into someone better._

_Gritting my teeth together and then grinding my molars, it took all my self-control to restrain myself. I had to keep repeating to myself that it was a dream—that, even if I went down there and tried to touch her, my body would probably just slip right through hers._

_The male that she was with laughed, but even to my ears, it sounded strained and somewhat awkward. He _looked _like he felt that way, too. His light chocolate hair curled at the ends in spots like his ears and the nape of his neck. He was surprisingly pale for a male, and he was quite slender and tall. His grey eyes looked like they would have been the type to sparkle in cheerfulness if they weren't so dimmed down as he snuck a glance at Akui._

_His face was incredibly handsome, but not in an inhumane way like the Night Class vampires were. He looked very... _human. _He was amazing, but somehow he radiated waves that expressed how mundane he was. He couldn't have been anything supernatural. He was undoubtedly a human._

_No matter how long I trifled through my memories, I couldn't remember anyone who looked like him. I had never seen him around before. He was as foreign to me as the regal buildings a few kilometers away._

_"Look, isn't it peaceful?" Akui asked, her high voice dripping with sugar. It reminded me so much of the way she was now while in Aoi's body. Hatred and anger bombarded me once again, and my hands clenched into fists at my sides. It was hard composing the look I had on my face, because I was sure I would be snarling at her like a lion if I wasn't trying so hard to keep a deadpanned expression. I could practically feel myself bristling like an aggravated cat as I stared down at her._

_"...Yeah, it is." His voice was quiet and laced with awkwardness. Every word had an underlying strained note to it, but if Akui noticed, she acted like she didn't._

_"I wanted to show this place to you," Akui looked up at him from underneath her long, dark eyelashes. A smile played along her lips, and her grip on his arm tightened just slightly. With the way she glanced up at him, it was clear that she was expecting him to fall madly in love with her._

_From the look that adorned his features, he wasn't caught up in her web like she had desired. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but after thinking it over for a moment, he snapped it shut and simply nodded his head. His stormy eyes kept sweeping around the area. They were half-lidded at times, a nostalgic look entering the grey orbs. Sadness seemed to taint his beauty._

_For what seemed like an hour, I merely watched and observed the duo as they walked around and eventually sat down in the center of the entire meadow, right below me. They lay down side by side after a while. A foot of space was in between their bodies, something that didn't escape Akui. Her near-onyx gems constantly flitted over to him, gauging the space that separated them. He merely stared up at the sky, an unreadable look on his face. Troublesome feelings seemed to mist over his steel oceans._

_They spoke about boring things. Things that I didn't care about at all, but maybe that was because I didn't understand the topics. All the names and places that left their lips were alien to me—I had never heard of them before, much less knew they even existed on the planet._

_Wondering if it was possible to sleep while in a dream, I cautiously crouched down and let my fingers skim where the ground was supposed to be. I didn't feel anything, but as I slowly eased myself into a sitting position, it was like the air understood what I wanted and kept me afloat where I was. I sat with my legs sprawled straight out in front of me and my hands flat down on the space in between my parted legs._

_I was bored._

_A strong, warm breeze glided by us, rustling the leaves on the trees and the flowers. My hair flew right into my face, and I frowned slightly as my vision was temporarily obscured by dark raven strands. It took a while for the wind to settle down and return everything to a calm, serene routine. As I cleared my face from my hair, I blinked at the sudden difference in the scene in front of me._

_Looking like an exotic princess from another world, a woman with long, straight white tresses of hair that fell to her ankles stood a few meters away from the original duo. They had pushed themselves into upright sitting positions upon seeing her. There was a mixture of guilt, horror, and despair hanging on the man's face, while Akui merely blinked her wide eyes in false surprise. The tilt of her lips was almost devilish._

_My eyebrows pulled together slightly as I stared at the woman. _Amaterasu...?  
_  
She was gorgeous, just like I had always known. Breathtakingly so. Her tall figure was clad in one of those enormous traditional kimonos, the dark violet cloth patterned with scattered white cherry blossom petals. The thin chain circlet was loosely sitting on her head, with many looping chains off the original body of the accessory. Her dark crimson eyes were tainted with sorrow and hurt. Her facial expression was so heartbreaking, so full of pain. The smile that played along her lips faintly was miserable._

_"Amaterasu..." the man whispered. His voice sounded choked, like someone had their hands wrapped around his throat. It sounded broken. "I—"_

_"It's okay," Amaterasu murmured. Her soft alto voice practically sang when she spoke. It sang a sad melody that was tainted with a crumbling heart and chipping pieces. Her head tilted just slightly, her long tresses of delicate white hair swaying with the movement. "I apologize. It seems that I've interrupted." Her dark eyes lingered on him for a moment long before she turned away, her hair following the movement loyally. She began to take measured steps away from the two, not looking back once._

_"No, Amaterasu, wait!" The man scrambled up into a standing position. His long legs moved from underneath him as he chased after her desperately, his arm shooting out to grasp onto her shoulder when he could reach. He whirled her around. "I—"_

_She didn't meet his gaze, keeping her eyes trained on his chest. She blinked her glassy orbs, as if to try and get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall down her face. "It's okay," she repeated. Her voice wavered._

_I watched as a pained look crossed the man's features. He stared at her so affectionately, so lovingly. I could notice it even in the way he moved and carried himself when he was around her—he was relaxed. Careful, but not cautious or stiff. Natural. Even when he had grabbed her arm, it had looked gentle somehow._

_I didn't understand. I could only watch, bewildered, as he gathered her up into his arms._

_He didn't offer an apology. He didn't say anything, but he merely held her close. It looked like he never wanted to let go of her. His eyes closed as he held her within his embrace, burying his face into her hair. Through the misery and despair that was etched onto his features, he somehow looked content._

_When my eyes slanted over to look at Akui, the innocent expression that she had on earlier had evaporated into thin air. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides, her lips pulling over her teeth slightly in a snarl. Her glower would've shot daggers out of her eyes if it was possible. However, another second later, she blinked her eyes as if something had just struck her. A light bulb seemed to light up above her head, and her snarl turned into a sadistic smile._

_Something wrenched in my gut. I leaned forward, my muscles locking in place as my eyebrows pulled together tightly above my narrowed eyes. A cold hand grabbed my spine, sending chills throughout my body. Dread began to creep along my arms and my back, wrapping his arms around me._

_It happened so suddenly. My eyes were trained on her, but I could hardly even comprehend what had happened. It was so fast, so swift. All I saw was a blur of hand motions with ridiculously fast chanting whispered under her breath, and suddenly something burst out of the air in front of Akui. It was a beam of not the standard red fire, but _blue_. It was an enormous ray that shot out toward the embracing couple._

_I squinted as it flew by me, my head automatically turning to the side in order to avoid staring directly at it as it passed. It was so bright that my eyes felt like they were going to explode. When it soared past me, I managed to whip my head back to watch it head straight at Amaterasu and the nameless man._

_My heart beat faster in my chest, and I shot to my feet. I wanted to stop the fire somehow, but nothing I could do would've helped. Even though I knew that, my feet still continued to move underneath me. Heart pounding in my chest and horror striking me, I knew that I wouldn't make it._

_Because even as my legs continued running, I remained rooted to the spot._

_I cursed under my breath, not able to do anything. Wasn't there any way that I could get rid of this helpless feeling? Wasn't there _anything _that I could do to stop this?_

_Just as the fire was about to hit, however, an enormous circular shape emerged in front of the couple. The lines that created the intricate patterns of the circle glowed white as the fire hit it. The ground got scorched, but nothing touched Amaterasu or the man._

_I didn't even know what was happening, because before I knew it, Merciless had appeared out of nowhere. Akui's staff, which was massive and made out of what seemed like gold, also emerged before I could even blink._

_As a regular human, I could hardly even keep up with vampires walking at their normal speed, let alone when they actually got serious. That said a lot about how well I was able to keep up with the fight between Amaterasu and Akui—I just saw a bunch of hands signals. Their mouths moved so fast, I wasn't even sure they were speaking proper words anymore. Their mouths moved at an incredible speed that seemed impossible to achieve._

_Runes glowed. Magical circles appeared. Fire balls rained down from a clear sky. Ice froze along the floor. Spikes made out of dirt and rocks spiraled randomly out of the ground. Barriers shined. Lions and tigers made out of shadows roared and tackled one another. Swords appeared out of nowhere, floating in midair as if they were hanging by strings. Arcs of light flew from their weapons._

_The two sorceresses didn't even move an inch from where they stood. Amaterasu had a solemn, grave expression on her face as her lips moved rapidly, speaking ten million miles of words in a minute. Her eyes were still tinted with sadness, but they had a sort of determination in them. Akui, on the other hand, looked livid. Her eyes were narrowed into a glower, her forehead creasing. I couldn't hear anything they said due to the noise that their attacks made, but I could imagine Akui's words being spoken much more aggressively, desperately._

_They were on equal footing._

_The battle carried on for a long time without either one giving in. I knew _that_ much, at the very least. My eyes hurt as I strained them to try and keep up, but it was useless. It was too fast for me. Despite that, the tension didn't leave me. In fact, it was _because _I couldn't keep up that I remained even more rigid than ever._

_Anticipation laced with anxiety chained me where I was, unable to look away._

_I had been so absorbed with the two women that I had completely forgotten the man until he made a very distinct movement out of the corner of my eyes. My heart jumped to my throat in trepidation as I watched him move out from behind Amaterasu, a firm resolution in his stormy eyes._

_It was a look that said he was going to try and stop the fight.__  
_  
No, stop! _My mind screamed at him. I opened my mouth, but no matter how hard I tried to get words out, only silence greeted me. My hands clenched into tighter fists at my sides, and I wanted to do nothing more than to grab him and pull him back._

_I watched in terror as he continued walking toward Amaterasu. She had told him to stay away. He _should _stay away. I stretched an arm out instinctively, almost like I believed it would truly reach him, but it didn't._

_I couldn't stop him._

_But I knew._

_I knew that he wouldn't make it out alive if he tried to get in between them. He was _human_. He wouldn't—_

_Suddenly, I felt myself being pulled back. I was moving, but I was getting farther and farther from where the trio stood. My head whipped over to over my shoulder, my eyes glowering as I tried to see what it was. I knew that I was supposed to be scared, because it was a large black hole that continued sucking me closer and closer to it, but I wasn't. I was just concerned about Amaterasu—about the man. I looked back over to where the three of them were, desperately struggling against the pulling force of the black hole._

_The last thing I saw was the man opening his mouth, like he wanted to speak—then he was gone, the scenery changing in blurs._

_And I found myself running._

_My footsteps pounded along the pavement, the splashing of water being heard as I stomped into puddles. It was dark—the sky was a deep grey, clouds having obstructed the sun. Rain pelted down on me roughly, as if trying to force me to slow down. The droplets rained down in sheets, soaking me straight to the bone. Strands of onyx hair stuck to my face, and clothes clung onto my body uncomfortably._

_Loud pants that came from my own mouth seemed to sing a noisy song with my splattering footsteps. Adrenaline was rushing through my body, all my senses on high alert. My ears were perked to listen for the slightest sound, my eyes darting around everywhere frantically, yet seeing everything crystal clear. The rapid thumping of my heart was deafeningly loud in my own ears. I felt like something was stuck in my throat, preventing me from breathing, but no matter how hard I swallowed, it didn't disappear._

_I slid around a corner, turning so fast that I almost tripped and fell right onto my face. One of my hands shot out to slam into the old, moss-covered concrete wall of a building to catch myself. I only had a moment to spare to recompose myself before I forced myself to continue running despite the burning in my chest and the desire to simply stop and rest._

Where am I going?  
_  
A part of me wondered if this was a dream. Was it? I didn't even know anymore. My mind was so caught up in the simple thought of "run" that I didn't—couldn't—think of anything else. All I knew was that I had to get far, far away._

_It didn't matter where I was going as long as it was away from here._

_Desperation. Hatred. Loathing. Fear._

_Tears._

_I gasped as I stumbled on an unseen indent on the floor. Crashing ungracefully against a wall, I leaned against it for a moment, trying to catch my shallow breaths. My chest and legs blazed, but I knew that it didn't matter._

_Nothing mattered except for getting away._

_As I heaved inhales and exhales in an attempt to get enough oxygen into my lungs, a pain that had been unknown to me until that moment started to ache excruciatingly. I reached a hand over to lightly graze the back of my left shoulder. Immediately, it throbbed in agony. I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore it. When I pulled my hand back, it was sticky and wet with dark crimson blood._

There's no more time, _my mind told me. _You can't stay here.

_So I continued running. I picked up the pace I was moving at, forcing one foot in front of the other despite how much effort it seemed to take. I had barely gotten a minute of rest, but I already knew I had lost so much distance in that time._

_My eyes swept over the buildings, the entrances of alleys, the vacant streets. It was unusual how nobody was out and about. It was isolated, deserted—a perfect place that provided nowhere to run. There were no sanctuaries here, no refuges. It made me want to bark out a humourless, bitter laugh._

_Of course._

_Blinking my eyes in an attempt to see clearer through the pelting rain, I decided to turn right at the next possible entryway. I ran across the street, not caring about traffic or cars—there wouldn't be any. I swiveled into the narrow path, only going in a few meters before something materialized a couple of feet in front of me._

_Horror numbed my body as I watched with wide eyes. Helplessness and desperation filled me up to the brim, my teeth snapping together to keep myself from screaming._

_Bright red eyes glowed in the darkness of the empty city._

_... Of course._

_I should have known._

My eyes snapped open as I shot upright from my bed. Despite having only just woken up, all my senses were alarmed. Light amethyst eyes brushed around the room, assessing where I was. My body felt icky as a thin layer of sweat had appeared during the time I had been asleep despite the cold weather that winter had currently submerged us in.

Upon realizing that I was in Shiki and Ichijou's room, I let out an exasperated, relieved sigh and flopped back down onto my back. Originally, I had planned to remain in my own room, but after many long arguments with the entire Cross family against myself, I had given in. They had somehow managed to convince me it would be better to sleep in the maroon-haired model's bed rather than my own. Why or how it happened, I truly didn't have a clue.

The white ceiling was mildly soothing as I stared blankly up at it, the dream crystal clear in my mind. I remembered every detail of it, everything that had been said and done. Everything that I had felt.

Those buildings and that city that had been so confusing to me in the dream was now so clear. I remembered the architecture of the aged concrete structures. The alleys, the paths, the streets—I could recall every single name of them very clearly. I knew where each of them led, where I had been.

I exhaled.

It would've been so useful back then if I had known everything I knew now.

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. It wasn't the time to brood and mull over the portion of the dream that I truly _did_ understand—much more than I wanted to—when the first part of my dream was so ambiguous to me. A million questions had raced through my mind while I had been asleep dreaming of it. Even now, when I was awake, I still remembered everything that I wanted to ask her.  
_  
Amaterasu._

The sorceress stirred from inside me. I could tell that she, just like I did, had the same dream. Almost always, our dreams were connected with one another. We always dreamt about the same things. We saw what the other saw. Experienced what the other experienced. From my perspective, it was both a blessing and a curse.  
_  
"Riku," _came Amaterasu's soft greeting. I could imagine her looking away from me, a sad expression on her face as she recollected her memories. It would be an expression that showed she was no longer in the same world as I was—she was off in her own universe full of personal thoughts.

When I spoke to her, my voice sounded incredibly quiet. _What... was his name?  
_  
I didn't need to ask her who he was. I knew—it had been so glaringly obvious, I would've been surprised if anybody _wouldn't_ be able to take a correct guess._  
_  
She didn't respond at first. Lost in her world. Lost in painful memories, of aching emotions. I remained silent as I waited for her answer, not feeling impatient or irritated in the least. For whatever reason, I felt upset _for _her. My heart wrenched in my chest when I remembered the way they had looked at each other, the way they held each other.

It was like they knew, somewhere in their hearts, that it would be the last time.  
_  
"... Reizei Lance," _she eventually said after a pregnant pause. When she spoke his name, it was laced with affection, tenderness, love. Even after so long. Even though she sounded so sad.

My voice was hesitant as I asked her softly, _What—What kind of person was he?  
_  
Amaterasu laughed. It was one embroidered with misery, but fondness. It was a heartbreaking sound in both a good and a bad way. My heart throbbed in my chest upon hearing something like that leave her lips. _"He was... more than wonderful. I never would have imagined that such a person could exist. His heart was so very pure, so very innocent. He was incredibly gentle. I often felt that he believed I was a precious treasure that he needed to hold dear. His kindness made him a pacifist. I felt... normal... when I was—when I was in his arms..."  
_  
Her voice shook. Her words were choked out.

On the back of my closed eyelids, I could see her tears falling like crystals down her face.  
_  
I see, _I murmured. I didn't know what else to say, because I knew that I couldn't offer her any decent words of comfort. I could never find the right words to say to console another person. It was too difficult for someone as heartless and emotionless as I was. My words would come off apathetically, coldly. I knew that people would view it as condescending advice that was horrible. Rather than making the person feel better, I often found myself making them feel _worse_.

So I stayed silent.

I let my eyes remain shut for just a moment longer before they fluttered open again, the familiar white ceiling once again presented to me.

It was noiseless for a long, long time. The clock in the room ticked very softly despite the stillness in the room, which surprised me a bit. However, when I remembered that it was vampires that occupied the room, it made sense. After all, their enhanced senses probably picked up on the sound easily.

Going through all the bits and pieces of what I remembered about Amaterasu's past, it struck me that something seemed a tiny bit off.  
_  
"In comparison to what Shiki-kun had explained to you over a week ago?" _She had obviously picked up on my train of thought.

At first, I didn't want to speak about it. After all, Amaterasu had always seemed so strong to me. It had been the first time I had seen her cry or sound so torn up about something, and it made me hesitant to approach the subject that reduced her to that. Yet I could feel her composure again, her encouragement.  
_  
"We must speak of it at some point," _she spoke my thoughts aloud. Yet she didn't push me to ask her anything, leaving it all up to me whether or not I wanted to approach the subject.

I had to admit that the curiosity was burning me inside out. _Yeah. It's different from what I imagined. I didn't think that you guys would be fighting at a meadow—I imagined something like the streets, since he said you were on your way to a park._

_"The story gets twisted quite a bit over the years_,"Amaterasu murmured.  
_  
What actually happened? _I inquired. My tone of voice, while bland, gave her room to deny my question and simply move on. It wasn't as though I actually knew Amaterasu _well_, but she didn't seem like the type to evade an inquiry.  
_  
"That meadow..." _she paused for a moment, gathering herself. I could see her trying to keep herself together. _"It was our own little secret place. Nobody knew about it, because most people never felt the desire to wander away from the town. Lance had discovered it when he was younger during one his escapades. On our one-year anniversary after having first started dating, he brought me there. It's—it has a very special place in my heart."_

It didn't go unnoticed in my mind that she had said it in present tense. It still mattered to her. It was still a precious place.  
_  
"I often find myself there when I miss him. I hadn't seen him for two weeks, as he had to leave town for work, and I missed him dearly. I wanted to see him, or go to a place that would seem full of his presence. My mind immediately conjured up an image of the meadow, and I found myself on a stroll with it as my destination."_

I knew what happened after she reached her dear place. _And that was when you saw Akui and Reizei-san._

_"Call him Lance," _Amaterasu told me, a faint smile playing along her voice. _"He despises formalities."_

_Lance, then, _I corrected myself unenthusiastically.  
_  
"Yes, that's when I saw them," _she answered, pausing for a moment before continuing on, _"I was surprised. I never would have expected such an unexpected sight. It... upset me. I was hurt that he had brought someone else to the meadow, a place that was meant to be a secret between us. I felt... that I didn't matter to him as much as I used to."  
_  
My eyebrows pulled together as I took in her words. _But he wasn't the one—_

_"I know now," _she interrupted me softly, gently. Sorrow weaved itself delicately into her alto melody. _"But back then..."_

Something was still strange about it all. A frown tugged at my lips as I thought hard about what it was—the way I saw the dream, the way it happened. My lips thinned as a question slapped me right in the face. I couldn't believe that I hadn't thought of it earlier.  
_  
Amaterasu?_

_"What is it, Riku?"_

For a moment, I stayed quiet. A brief moment of hesitation wrapped around me, but it vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. My gaze at the ceiling seemed to sharpen as I asked her, _What was that? What had I been seeing? A dream... or a memory?  
_  
She, too, didn't speak for a moment. _"... That was a memory."_

_But not yours, _I specified. It couldn't have been. She wouldn't have been able to see the beginning scenes—the ones in which Akui had dragged Lance there and they spent time talking.  
_  
"No, it's not," _she confessed honestly. _"It's... Lance's memory."  
_  
I blinked, somewhat perplexed and confused. I refused to let that leak into my tone, though, as I asked, _What do you mean?_

_"Before he... died." _Amaterasu's beautiful voice was strained as she said the sentence. She took another moment to recompose herself before elaborating, _"He wanted me to have his memories—his memories that captured everything he felt, everything he thought. He wanted me to—to remember him..." _

Tears. The sound of ragged breathing.

Remorse.

Despair.

An echoing thought of, _"It hurts."_

I shut my eyes.

The legendary sorceress took a moment to speak again. Her voice was still choked, still wavering. Yet she spoke to me, determined to get through this talk that, undoubtedly, pained her. _"It's possible for sorceresses to take or give memories. Lance knew this."_

_You said that his memories would capture everything he felt and his thoughts, but I didn't hear anything_,I informed her quietly. _It was like I was an audience member watching a movie playing in the theatre._

_"That's because the direct memory he gave me would have been different."_

_What do you mean? _I was getting confused.  
_  
"If what you saw was Lance's _true _memory, you would have seen everything through his eyes. Perhaps the more accurate way of explaining what you dreamt about would be to say that it was my memory of what had occurred, but based on Lance's memory. It was how I imagined things to look like if I was a simple bystander."_

_I couldn't hear your thoughts, either_,I pointed out to her.  
_  
"I didn't think anything," _she whispered. _"I was... numb. My mind had simply been blank except for my imagination picturing them. But everything they said, everything they did, was accurate."_

_... Why did I dream of that? _Even though I asked her, I had a feeling that I already knew the answer. After all, the two of us were connected. She could hear my thoughts as clear as chiming bells. Her thoughts were a bit harder for me to discern, though.  
_  
"Because _I_ had been dreaming of it," _she murmured softly. She let out a laugh, but it was dull and lacked any real humour or brightness. _"I'm sorry."  
_  
My eyes flickered off to the side, staring at the near-empty shelf. _It's not something to apologize for.  
_  
She let a moment of silence settle between us, like she was expecting me to say something. When I didn't, she asked, _"Are you... not going to ask me anything else?"_

_Are you sure you can handle the sheer brutality of my next, and last, question? _It was an inquiry and a warning both mixed into one. I was looking at the boxes of Pocky that the model had stacked on the top shelf, but I didn't really see it. _I'm not the type to beat around the bush, so it's going to come off as almost cruel bluntness.  
_  
For some reason, Amaterasu let out a breathy laugh that had a tint of what laughter _should_ sound like. _"I'm aware, Riku. I want to tell you what you want to know."  
_  
A long, long pause that was then followed by a, _How... did Lance die?_

_"I thought you were going to ask that." _No surprise coloured her tone. Heartbeats of silence, and then, _"I had gotten distracted when he moved to get in between the fight. I... got hit. And he fussed over me, trying to make sure that I was okay. But that—it put him in the direct line of Akui's next attack, and..." _she drifted off, the rest of the story clear. I could imagine her hanging her head in shame as she whispered, _"I wasn't able to save him."  
_  
My next words slipped out before I could even let them run through the filter in my mind. _Saving people isn't easy, Amaterasu. You're not a superhero. It wasn't a fairytale or a movie. Reality's different from those things—it's harsher. Reality reminds us of just how weak we are, even if we never noticed it before.  
_  
Strands of white hair moved as she shook her head at me. _"I could have saved him if I had just—"_

_Just what? _I interrupted. My eyes hardened into steel lavender. _Do you truly believe that he would have been able to stop the fight, Amaterasu? Do you really think that you and Lance would both be able to get out of that place alive? Because if you do, you're wrong. Akui wouldn't have let you guys get out of there unscathed. She wouldn't have stopped until she pulverized _both _of you._

_"I don't believe that." _Her voice was quiet, but firm. _"I could've restrained her, Riku. If I had just been given some more time, I _knew _that I could have created an opening and stopped the battle."  
_  
Frustration flowed through my system. It wasn't as if I didn't admire Amaterasu's confidence in her own abilities or her way of thinking—her desire to protect those who she held close was astounding. However, no matter how I saw it, I couldn't imagine both of them getting out of there alive. She said that she could've created a crack in Akui's armour and then retained her, but I didn't think it was possible. They had been so equal in power, so equal in strength... In my eyes, it was just a matter of who could endure it longer.

Refusing to express my less than friendly thoughts and get into an argument, I decided to just shut up. I didn't want to get into some kind of fiery dispute with her about it—I felt like I was being too cruel. She was already a wreck, and I didn't see a reason why I should rub salt over an open wound. Maybe a day would come in which we would be able to truly have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation about it. A discussion that would let both of us speak our thoughts without restraint or hesitation due to consideration of how the other party felt.

Maybe one day. But not today.

I sighed, pushing myself up into an upright position. I threw the dark sheets off of me, not even bothering to fix them—I was just going to sleep in them later and mess it all up again anyways—and padded my way to connecting washroom.

* * *

It had been a long, long time since Yuuki and I had ever been alone together with absolutely nobody else around. Zero had gone back to the Association with Kaien for matters related to vampire hunting, which left the two of us back at Cross Academy.

Currently, we sat in the living room couch watching television. Or, well, perhaps _she _was watching. My mind was too full of different thoughts—I was kept busy just by trying to keep them sorted out.

My eyes flickered over to the brunette. She was dressed in casual clothing that consisted of a sweater and old jeans that were ripped at the knees. She had her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them as she rested her chin on top of her knees. The light from the television screen was reflected clearly in her wide, beautiful dark crimson eyes. She was so absorbed in the show that she didn't even notice that I was gazing at her.

It felt awkward to me. Perhaps it was because it had been days upon days since it had just been the two of us. Or was it because I was so different from the child that she remembered and played with all those years ago? Was it because my feelings often clashed about the Kaname-infatuated girl? Was it because, every single time that I saw her, I was reminded of how much Zero hurt when seeing her, was reminded of the sadness in Kaname's eyes as he watched her?

The thought of the Kuran Pureblood had me sighing deeply. Although I didn't like the Pureblood, that didn't mean I completely loathed him. I noticed the way he stared at her—the way despair lingered underneath his eyes. It made me feel just a tiny bit bad for him, but I knew that I probably shouldn't feel that way.

"Is something wrong?" Her sweet, innocent voice broke me out of my reverie, and I snapped my eyes to meet her concerned ones.

"I—no. What makes you ask?"

"You let out this really heavy sigh," she told me, blinking. Her head was turned away from the television show that she had been so intrigued by just a few moments ago.

"Did I?" I tried playing dumb. "I wasn't aware that I had even done it."

Her dark ruby eyes assessed me for a moment, a certain look crossing her features. It looked like concern and wariness intermingling together. Hesitance. "Riku?"

I tried not to flinch when she said my name as she looked at me like that. "What?"

"Are you okay?" It left her lips as a murmur. Sincerity lined her eyes as she gazed at me, mild sadness tainting her soft, pretty features.

It was such a common question, yet I felt like she was using them to choke me. "I'm fine, Yuuki. Don't look so worried."

She smiled, but it was forlorn. "It's just that we don't—we never talk anymore."

I tried to play stupid again, because her expression made me want to slap myself in the face. My stomach twisted in guilt. I knew that what she was saying was true, and I had no valid excuse for it. "We're talking right now."

"I mean that we never talk like we used to," she specified. She tilted her head up to stare at the ceiling, relieving me of her doe-like eyes. "We used to tell each other everything, and we did everything together. It's... different now. I mean, it's not a _bad _different, but sometimes—sometimes I just—" she stopped speaking, inhaling deeply instead. Her lips thinned.

My eyes fluttered around the room for a moment, my hands clenching together at my sides. Awkwardness and guilt blended together inside of my body, creating a very unpleasant sensation. I wanted to say something to disperse the slight tension that hung in the air. Although I knew that she wasn't accusing me or blaming me for the slight rift in our friendship, I still perceived it that way. It made me feel all the more guilty. I knew that it was my fault, because _I_ was the one that had changed. _I _was the one that created so many issues. _I _was the one that didn't make any attempts to be close to her.

I wondered if it was too late to try.

Breathing in, I apologized. It still came out flat and indifferent, but I somehow managed to force it out of my mouth. "Sorry."

She jolted slightly, like she was surprised to hear that from me. Her head whipped around to look at me, and she asked, "Wait—why are you apologizing, Riku?"

"It's my fault," I deadpanned. I tried putting some feeling into it, but my next words just sounded strained despite the genuine feelings behind it. "I'll... try harder."

"That's not—Riku, it's not like it's _your _fault that—" My look shut her up. Her mouth closed in resignation, and her eyes softened even more than usual as she looked at me. It was such a kind look that it automatically made me look away. The only person who had ever stared at me with such gentleness was Kaien, and that had always been when I was crying my eyes out to him like a little girl.

No words were exchanged between us for another few moments. I didn't know what to say and was desperately trying to find something to start conversation, but when I looked over at Yuuki, she looked like she was content with the silence.

Or, well, she didn't feel nearly as awkward as I did.

Still, it bothered me. I needed to fill the air with something. Silences bothered me. The quiet was a foreign thing. I wasn't used to it, and I didn't like it. I would never admit it aloud, but it scared me a bit.

So I said the only thing that came to my mind. "How is it going with Kuran-senpai?"

"I—what do you—_what?_" Yuuki spluttered, clearly taken off-guard by my question. She stared at me with wide eyes as she asked, "Nothing! I mean, what _could _happen?" Pink began to taint her cheeks.

I refused to let the amusement show on my face as my eyes shifted over to meet her gaze. "I saw you dancing with him during the Winter Dance, Yuuki."

"Well, that was—I mean, I didn't—_we _didn't—" she bit down on her lower lip to keep herself from stuttering more than she already had. When she saw the impassive, but firm and expectant look on my face, she knew that she had been caught red-handed. Her cheeks turned even rosier as she mumbled out, "We just... danced."

"Just danced, huh?" I repeated. "It looked a bit more than 'just dancing' to me." I had only gotten an extremely brief glimpse of the two before I had charged out the window, but I could recollect very clearly that it looked quite intimate. Maybe it had been the way he had held her as he danced with her—the way he looked at her so tenderly. I remembered seeing that kind of expression on his face, and I recalled her tomato-red cheeks.

"And what about you?" she shot back at me, obviously too embarrassed to continue talking about her situation. "I saw you with Shiki-senpai."

My gaze turned blank. "And?"

"What do you mean '_and'_? You two looked so adorable together!" she burst out. Her eyes were practically sparkling as she looked at me. It made me feel slightly uncomfortable, but I think that the weird beating in my heart was due to the phrase, "looked adorable together."

I had to remind myself that during that dance, he pissed me off to levels that shouldn't have been possible. Making sure to keep my voice calm and emotionless, I stated, "Nothing happened."

"Really?" Dejection lined her voice for a moment, but it only lasted a second before she regained her usual cheerfulness and chirpiness. "But you guys still _danced _together! So many girls went up to him and asked him to dance, Riku, but he said no! When I went to ask him why he wasn't participating, he said it was because he was waiting for someone. The look on his face was very..." she paused, trying to find the right word.

It was pathetic how my heart stuttered upon hearing about what had occurred. It made me feel warm, fuzzy, and it gave me some kind of delusion that I was actually someone _special_ to him. And with every fiber of my being, I _hated _it. Because I knew that it wasn't possible—Shiki and I were not meant to be together. Numerous things kept just apart. We lived in two completely different worlds.

The names "Shiki and Riku" weren't meant to be said together.

"Blank?" I managed to offer. I couldn't imagine any other kind of expression on the maroon-haired model's face, especially when it came to matters concerning myself. It would be too weird, too unlike him, if he showed anything in his countenance. It made my heart ache. Just a bit.

Yuuki shook her head, strands of dark chocolate hair following the action. "He looked... troubled. When he was waiting for you because you were outside on the veranda—there was this look on his face that I had never seen before."

I blinked my eyes at her. Shiki? Looking _troubled? _It bewildered me to even think of it. He wasn't the kind of person who showed his emotions like that. I couldn't imagine him allowing such a thing to be plastered along his gorgeous features.

Skeptically eyeing her, I responded sarcastically. "Right."

"No, I'm seri—" The ringing of the telephone pierced through the room, and she jerked in surprise. Unfazed by it, I reached over to where the phone lay on the small table next to me and picked it up.

"Cross residence," I said into it flatly. A tinkling voice was heard on the other line—one that I would _not _have expected to have called the Academy. It made my heart thump in my chest, and my eyes widened slightly as I stared in disbelief and incredulity at the space in front of me.

What...?  
_  
"Rima-senpai?"_

* * *

**A/N:**

And that concludes the twenty-fifth chapter of Shitsuren! DUNDUNDUNDUNNNN! SURPRISE! CLIFFIE! YAY.

It was a pain in the ass editing this chapter, because when I actually got the document onto this site, it went crazy and all the italics and stuff were gone. I spent SO long just trying to get it all right again, like how I had originally written it. I got so frustrated that I almost gave up, but then I thought about how long it's been since my last update and so I went ASDFGHJKL. In other words, I went crazy and did it all. OTL.

I loved going deeper into Amaterasu's past. I loved writing about her relationship with Lance. Don't ask me why, but I just do. ASGPEWBMPEW. So, like I always do, I had an amazing time writing this chapter.

THE END OF THIS CHAPTER IS JUST- I don't even know. LOL. I mean, I obviously know why and what's going to happen, but I don't- Argh, what am I trying to say? xD

As always, I apologize for any grammar mistakes, spelling errors, and OOCness if it happened!

SPECIAL LOVE AND THANKS TO MY AMAZING REVIEWERS;

**XOtakoo17, ZabuzasGirl, TheSecretSpot, Shadow of a Broken Angel, Lianne Sabrina, ivyslade, JammerToTheRescue, Shekame, luvJesusInHeavn, Astin, SilverNeira, JessiRoad, Princesa de la Luna, Guest, Anemos, Kiyanna the dark mistress, Sh3lby, x3sYellowie, Rane Kurodo, RainyDaes, XXTakaraXX, I. Volkov, Anonymous, TheBrokenReflection, MaMZg67, vanessa0-0, XxblackpapermoonxX, Shannyrox101, XxXheartbreaks'badmemoriesXxX, MoonlitNite, Kyoki no Megami, Mybfflisazombie, TenraiTsukiyomi, Alliana2312, and RedRose1029**

Whoa, the list is getting longer and longer! WELL. THAT'S GOOD. Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, guys! I appreciate it so much, and so many of them were so touching. (:

Also, thanks to everyone who alerted and favourited!

RESPONSE TIME, YAY!

To **Shadow of a Broken Angel**;

OH NO, IT'S ME? xD Hi there.  
Pfft, no thank YOU for always being so supportive! I'm glad that my update was able to make your day just a bit brighter. (:  
I'm happy that your exams went well! So did mine, thankfully. HAHA.  
It makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing your thoughts; it relieves me to know that you think I kept him in character and all! xD  
Thank you so much for your continuous support! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter just as much as the last!

To **ivyslade**;

ARGH, RIGHT? I rage so much when I read the latest chapters and all. I just... ASDFGHJKL. Nothing can express my anger. I always end up venting by writing Heterochromia chapters. I guess it's a good thing, though. xD  
Ah, you think so? Thank you! I'm glad. HAHA. I try not to overdose anyone with details, though. It can get boring, agreed?  
YES. Acceptance is always nice. Development was necessary! At least they're friends now, right? ;D Well, sort of.  
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! I hope that you liked this chapter as well! (:

To **Shekame**;

Thank you! I think that you described Zero perfectly. LOL. I find him quite hard to keep in character... but maybe that's because my other fanfic is so revolved around him and all, and it's done AFTER Yuuki changed, so that changes so much. T_T But yes. Profound yet simple. Definitely Zero.  
LOL. I'm glad that it made you that happy! The italicized words make me cry because they're so ASBNOEWNBPWEB. Oh jeez, _spectacular? _That puts a lot of pressure on me. LMAO. I wouldn't exactly call this "spectacular" but... It's good enough... Right? -SLAPPED-  
HAHA. Well, I'm not going to follow VK's actual plot. Not really, at least. And the reason for that is because I just love Riku and Shiki moments... I mean, don't you? ;D  
Oh yes. BELIEVE ME, I haven't forgotten the magazines photoshoot at all. It's never once left my mind. HAHA. It's just that they took the pictures a few days ago; the magazine isn't going to release it for a while. It DOES get brought up, though, so I hope you look forward to that! ;D  
Thank you so much for always supporting me. ASBNOWENBP. I hope you found this chapter satisfying!

To **luvJeasusInHeavn**;

Your complimentsss. Thank you! I'm glad that it was able to evoke such strong emotion in you. xP  
Since it's August now... Yes, school's over for me. LOL. But I had taken a summer school course and had to jam it all into one week because I was busy in July. Or maybe I was just procrastinating and lazy, but you know how it is. ;D Thank you so much for asking, and for being worried about me, though! You're a sweetheart. XD  
Thanks for your amazing support all the time! I hope that you liked this chapter! (:

To **Guest**;

Yeah, they changed the reviewing... thing. I don't even know what to call it. LOL. But at least they changed it back. Sort of.  
THANK YOU. I'm glad that you think I always write amazing chapters. My ego is inflating, though. HAHA. Thank god he was in character. Dear lord, he's hard to write about. xD  
Emotional is fine! I think. Kind of. Wait, what? I CAN'T SEE YOUUU. YOU'RE AN ANON. I MEAN, THAT'S OKAY, BUT I CAN'T SEE YOU ANYWAYS BECAUSE- Well, you know why. xD  
Thank you for taking the time to drop me a review! I hope you found this chapter alright! (:

To **Anemos**;

I'm glad that you loved it! I think that he did the right thing, too. But then again, when you think about it, I'm totally biased. LOL.  
Yeah... Zero's just... my heart breaks for him. It really does. I love him to bits. -sigh- He's so complicated, though. I have a hard time keeping him in character.  
HAHA, no. I've never mentioned them, because she never thinks of them. She never wants to, so... xD But they WILL be brought up later on in the story, so I hope you look forward to that.  
Definitely. Riku likes casual. She just doesn't really care half the time about what she wears as long as it's not completely horrible.  
... I can't say anything about Yuuki unless I'm writing about her. Because otherwise, I'd just end up bashing her. -SLAPPED-  
Thank you for all your support, Anemos! I love hearing from you. I hope that you also enjoyed this chapter! ;D

To **Sh3lby**;

My ego inflated a million times when you said that you check your emails constantly to see if I updated. LOL.  
I'm relieved to know that you think it's something he'd say! And HAHA. I'm glad that I was able to make you laugh somehow. (:  
I LOVE EVERYONEEEEEE. And I always include a list of usernames of everyone that reviewed for me, so... Yeah. HAHA.  
Thank you so much for your encouragement and sharing your thoughts! I hope that you liked this chapter just as much as the last!

To **RainyDaes**;

Your review was short, but so epic. I love it, so I need to respond to it. My reply to you isssss:  
Y U COOLER THAN ICE CUBES ON A HOT SUMMER DAY?  
...I don't even know what I said there.  
Thank you, RainyDaes, for an awesome review that made me smile. LOL. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (:

To **XXTakaraXX**;

... How long until what time comes? LOL. Sorry, I'm a bit confused with the question.  
Thanks for always supporting me! I really appreciate it. I hope you liked this chapter!

To **I. Volkov**;

Well, I admit that I'm kind of glad I'm able to bring forth such strong emotions from my readers. xD I don't think you should be thanking me, because it's the other way around. Thank YOU for stumbling upon this story and deciding that you wanted to read it despite the horrible beginning. LOL.  
Oh wow, really? I thought that people got annoyed by my questions. LOL. I'm glad that you think otherwise, though! (:  
I caught up with the chapters... and I wanted to flip some tables. I dislike Yuuki. I mean, I loathe her. I can't say anything nice about her unless I'm writing a story with her in it as a character, like Shitsuren or Heterochromia. Other than writing, though, I just end up bashing her. -SLAPPED- Maybe you can consider it reasoning, but... I just- No. ;_;  
HAHA. It wasn't Amaterasu asking her. It was more like her own conscious. The reason that it happened comes up later on, so I hope you look forward to it!  
I finally updated, so I have to thank you for your amazingly awesome review! I hope to hear from you more often, and I hope you enjoyed this chapterrrr! ;D

To **TheBrokenReflection**;

I finally updated, so I can finally respond to your amazing review. LOL.  
I'm so happy that you love Shitsuren that much, but remember to take care of your health as well! xP The chapters aren't going anywhere.  
YOUR PRAISES. ASBNOWNBPQW. I mean, ShikixOC, I think I can understand. There aren't that many out there in the first place. But Shikixany character? REALLY? Dear lord, my ego's going to be so big that it'll knock other people over. D;  
I beat myself up trying to keep the characters in character. ASDVNMPEW. I die a bit on the inside, trust me. I think it's partially because I get really annoyed with OOCness, too. I'm glad that my writing is up to your standards! (:  
Thank you for your lovely review! I hope that you found this chapter somewhat decent! xD

To **XxblackpapermoonxX**;

You have absolutely no idea how happy I am that you managed to muster up your courage for a review! xD I love hearing from everyone, and I swear that I don't bite! If you ever have anything you want to share with me, please go right ahead~ (:  
Aww, thank you! ASDFGHJKL. I don't think that I'm good enough to get published, though it's always been a dream of mine. HAHA. But thank you. I was ecstatic to hear that from someone, and I'm so touched.  
Well... Shiki didn't appear in this chapter. LOL. BUT... BUT... He'll appear in the next! YAY.  
Once again, thank you for your praises and your support! I hope that I can hear from you more often? (: I also hope you enjoyed this chapter!

To **Shannyrox101**;

It's one of the things that authors needa know how to do, right? (; I mean, gotta leave other people curiousss. xD  
I'm sorry that it seems that way for you. OTL. I think that it's because the development and plot is going pretty slow, but then again, it's only been twenty-something days since they first met, y'know. xD Can't go falling in love at first sight, yeah?  
It makes me happy that you think Riku is a believable OC! I try. xD  
Nah, don't worry. Real life and all comes first, right? I'm just glad to have been able to hear from you again! How is your driving coming along? xP  
Thank you for taking the time to drop be a review! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! (:

To **RedRose1029**;

Why, thank you! I'm glad that you didn't skip any lines near the end... I mean, it was probably the most important part. LOL.  
I understand how you feel. It's impossible to describe, right? xD I usually just keyboard spam, but that's really just me. But I DO know where you're coming from, and I'm happy that I'm able to make other people feel like that through words. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person or anything. HAHA.  
Oh god. Writing these chapters don't take THAT long... Well, it depends. I mean, I finished this recent chapter in a day. HAHA. I think it really just depends on the flow of my creative juices. It tires me out though, I admit. Thank you for telling me how awesome you think my chapters are; it's very encouraging. XD  
I love Zero a ton, too. I love the relationship he has with Riku. It's like they're siblings even though they deny it.  
Dude. Your compliments make me want to cry because they're so touching and so amazing and- ;_; Thank you for your praises. They mean so much to me, and they're so touching, I don't even- NBOWENBPWQE. Thank you. I think that's all I can say, because nothing else will express my gratitude. xD  
I'm holding your word for that; I look forward to hearing from you for this chapter! (;  
Thank you so much for your SENBEOWBEWing review, and I hope that you thought this chapter was super brilliant, too! HAHA.

END OF RESPONSES.

... Guys, is it just me... or are there more and more of these? I feel like I should cut down on them, but at the same time, there are so many of you guys that I want to talk to. LOL. -SLAPPED-

Sorry for the walls of text. Eheheh... heh...

Thank you so much for all of you guys that answered the question! So many of you guys did, and it really made me happy to hear your thoughts on it. I love reading about your opinions and such. I think they make me a better writer, but hey, maybe it's just me. xD

Like always, this chapter will also have a question!

**QUESTION: Why do you think Rima called?**

Share your thoughts and answers with me in a review or in a PM! I'd love to hear from you! (:

Love it? Like it? Hate it?

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE SAYING THIS, BUT, UHM... NEXT CHAPTER... -COUGHSACERTAINMALEMODELMIGHTMAKEAC OMEBACKCOUGH- Sorry, was clearing my throat. (;

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I hope to update again soon, but like always, no promises!

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-EverlastingxSong-


	26. With Distance

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Vampire Knight or the characters. All rights go to Matsuri Hino.**

**A/N:**

ASDFGHJKL. I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE, YOU GUYSSS! T-T

Needless to say, school is kicking my ass so hard. Y'all have no idea how badly I'm dying in a majority of my classes. I want to flip tables. I feel like there's no time to do anything anymore, let alone write. T_T I think that today was the first time I've touched a word document that wasn't for homework in, like, the entire two months I didn't update. -CRIES-

BUT ANYWAYS. Yeah, sorry. I STILL **DON'T **PLAN TO ABANDON THIS STORY, THOUGH. SO NO WORRIES!

Saving you guys the agony of having to read any more of my blabbering...

The man that you've all been waiting for finally makes his appearance again in this chapter! OH SNAP! EXCITEMENT.

Read on, m'loves! READ ONNNN! (:

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER T_W_E_N_T_Y_S_I_X;**

_"With Distance"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN - DAY TWENTY-NINE

* * *

I stood in front of the large, mansion-like building with nonchalance decorating my features. Actually, it leaned more towards a frown than anything else, but it wasn't because of the fact that the house was displeasing—in fact, I felt uneasy _because _it was so antique and elegant. It stood regally in the middle of what could've been nowhere, since the town was so small and so abandoned with only a few people out and about. It towered over all the other buildings. With ivory walls, three-paneled windows that angled toward the middle section, and thick double doors that had elaborate glass on either side, the mansion could have passed for something out of a novel set back in the early Victorian era.

Eyeing the vines that wound up and crept along the walls, as well as the lack of light emitting from the drawn-back curtains, I couldn't help but wonder if anyone actually lived in the place. It was beautiful, yes, but I had no doubt that it could look ten times _more _magnificent if it was just taken better care of.

Frankly, it looked like a mansion that could be used as a basis for horror myths. That _really _wasn't a compliment.

Gazing at the enormous house as I stood on the street with a duffle bag slung carelessly over my shoulder, I was sure that if anyone lived in that house—from what I knew, there was _supposed _to be people residing in the building—then they'd be wondering if I was an insane idiot that needed to be reported to the police.

A gust of biting wind blew by, tearing through my thick winter jacket and penetrating my skin. It was ridiculously cold, yet it hadn't snowed yet—I wasn't sure whether I was happy that I wouldn't have to walk around in knee-high piles of white fluff, or if I hated it, because that meant I couldn't use the snow as a hiding mechanism if I ever needed to. Falling face-flat into snow in order to hide from certain people or certain things wasn't really that bad, since it was soft. After a while, it just felt like you didn't have a face anymore.

Shaking my head, I reprimanded myself for my digressing thoughts. The cold didn't necessarily bother me—I hated both blazing or freezing weather, but I was used to both of them—but I knew that I couldn't stay out on the street in front of the mansion forever.

So taking in a deep breath and letting it out steadily, I forced myself to place one foot in front of the other despite the uneasy sensation in my chest and the dread that tickled my spine. My senses were on high alert, because no matter how I looked at it, something about the place wasn't right. It was just—there was something so _off _about it.

It made me feel like bugs were crawling all over my skin.

By the time I climbed up the porch steps and rang the doorbell—which took _forever_ to find, because for some stupid goddamn reason, it was stuck _behind_ one of the pillars that stood a foot or two ahead of the doors—my expression had gone from _bordering _on a frown into a full-blown scowl. The negative emotions that seemed to slap at me automatically made my face scrunch up, no matter how hard I tried to smooth it over.

In my mind, I cursed at myself for losing my touch. Being around people again was creating changes in me that seemed unfamiliar. They were forming me into someone that I didn't quite know, and I would rather die than admit it aloud, but it scared me.

My thought process was broken before it got any deeper and darker as the door slowly opened up with a faint, almost nonexistent, creak. I stood rigidly with my senses on high alert, waiting for someone's face to appear at the door and greet me with useless pleasantries that we both knew neither one of us cared about, but that didn't happen.

Nobody was there.

The scowl on my face simply contorted even deeper, my lavender eyes narrowing into a suspicious glower. The warning bells inside my mind began to ring even louder, reminding me to be cautious. Pressing my lips tightly together, I slowly began to reach out, preparing to push the door open a bit more if I needed to.

"Hello?" My voice was bland except for the wariness that caped it.

There was no response from inside.

Ignoring the fact that I would be invading into the family's privacy—and the fact that I could be charged with trespassing or breaking in—I was just about to push the door open and stroll inside when, abruptly, the door slammed shut thunderously just as my fingertips brushed against the smooth wood.

The action was unexpected, but I knew that a part of me deep down had been considering it an option. Nonetheless, it still jolted me slightly, and my mind immediately conjured up, _What the fu—_I broke my own train of thought off.

It would've been so easy to turn around and go back to Cross Academy, pretending like this entire incident didn't occur. I could lie about it and say that I had visited and that nothing went wrong, and nobody would really actually _know_. It would make my life a lot less of a pain in the ass to do so. Staying here and investigating what was happening would be problematic, no doubt.

Yet every time I thought about simply turning on my heels and walking away, a single word flashed through my mind and I couldn't bring myself to leave.  
_  
Shiki_.

The eerie house was definitely not normal. Something about it radiated a tipped equilibrium, and I was _not _going to leave without figuring out what it was and then fixing it. A million scenarios ran through my mind, and none of them were pleasant—which was all the more reason to stick around and find out.

Clenching my hand into a fist, I raised it up and was just about to rap my knuckles on the door—my muscles tensed in case I needed to punch whatever was going to fly out at me—but it was proved unnecessary because the wooden barrier opened once more. I half-expected nobody to be there, just like the first time, which was why it surprised me just a tad when a figure stood behind the door.

No matter how I looked him, the male was undoubtedly a vampire. His dark hair was combed back to reveal his slightly large forehead, his equally opaque eyes shielded with non-reflecting lenses. He didn't flinch as the light from outside hit him and tentatively touched the shadows of the unlit household, but his eyes narrowed to see more clearly. I wondered who he was for a moment, but as my eyes scanned his attire, I realized that he was probably just a butler that kept everything in order.

My eyebrows knotted together as I assessed him warily for a moment, something about him seeming very familiar. I was sure that I recognized him from somewhere, but I wasn't sure where I had seen him before. Perhaps it had been around town whenever I dropped by with Zero or Kaien or Yuuki, or maybe he was a Night Class student that worked here part-time and I just never really noticed him despite knowing, in the very back of my mind, that someone with his face existed.

I pushed everything to the back of my mind when he spoke.

"Can I help you with anything?" His voice was rough around the edges, and sounded just as wary as I felt underneath the casual, friendly tone. Nothing gave away my thoughts as I asked bluntly, "Who are you?"

Dark eyes narrowed just the slightest fraction. It could've been non-existent or just a figment of my imagination, but I was so sure that it wasn't. "I believe that that's _my _line."

"It's none of your business," I retorted, wracking my brain for a time in which I had seen him. The more I gaped at him through my scowl, the more I felt like I recognized him. It bothered me more and more that I couldn't put my finger on his identity.

"The same for you," came his cool, cold response. "Generally speaking, strangers don't approach another stranger's house without any specific reason to simply ask who lives there. Are you the new neighbour?" Sarcasm dripped scathingly from his last sentence, and I couldn't help but glower at him with just as much emotion. He and I both knew—hell, I was sure that _everyone _within the area knew—that the huge mansion was in the middle of nowhere. The chances of having a new house built next to such a shady-looking house in such a remote area would be slim to none.

"Yes," I played along sardonically. "I wanted to drop by and get to know my new neighbours more. I was expecting an invitation into the household. Oh, you already asked me if I wanted to come in for tea? Well, darling, I'd _love _to." I hadn't allowed him a single nanosecond to interrupt what I had been saying. Ignoring the dark, barely concealed look of anger on his rather young features, I merely gave him a twisted smile that I was sure made him want to just reach out and snap my neck.

"If you know what's good for you, you will _not _come into this—" Without letting him finish his sentence, I shoved him out of my way and stomped into the household.

Turning to look over my shoulder, I asked him in fake sweetness and surprise, "Oh, _my bad. _What were you saying?"

A part of me knew that I was being incredibly childish for trying to do everything I possibly could to agitate him, but he stepped on my nerves. I wanted to piss him off just as much as he irritated me so that we were even somehow. I wasn't nice enough to just let his comments and his tone slide—especially not when I got such a bad vibe from this place.

One of his eyebrows twitched, one of the veins in his neck starting to bulge. I saw his jaw clench, and his lips hardly moved as he gritted out, "_Get out_."

"The tea? I don't know where it is."

"You—"

"This painting is gorgeous," I interrupted him, eyeing the framed abstract piece. "It looks like you threw up all over it." I could tell from the feeling of my back being burned that he was thinking of eighteen hundred ways to murder me.

A steadying, forced inhale and loud exhale. "Leave before I call the authorities."

I looked away from the majestic winding staircase—the banister looked like it was made out of silver, and there were spirals that formed flowers—to quirk an eyebrow at him. "Authorities? _Here_?"

"Shall I put it in more blunt terms?" He didn't even let me blink before threatening, "I meant to say _leave right now _before I force you."

And that was when things got down to business.

Maybe it was the tone he had used, or the expression that was on his face. Perhaps it was the fact that we both knew that we weren't here by mere coincidence—that there was something about the other that wasn't safe, that wasn't right. It could've been the fact that any sort of amusement or entertainment had never been there in the first place.

The air hung thickly with tension, his dark obsidian eyes clashing violently with my pale lavender ones. Neither one of us moved, the only motion coming from our bodies being the slight rising and falling of our chests. It was like any single movement we made would be seen as one of aggression, and neither one of us were quite prepared to break out into a brawl right then and there.

Abruptly breaking the staring contest between the two of us was the sound of something crashing loudly. I jolted at how unexpected and roaring it was, but the middle-aged vampire clad in a crisp butler suit didn't even blink. In fact, rather than looking startled, an expression of weary amusement and exasperation lined the contours of his face.

"What was that?" I demanded, my eyes darting from him to upstairs, where the sound had come from. I didn't need to hear his answer, however, as something—some_one_—began to emerge out of the shadows at the top of the staircase.

Tensed, I watched with slightly widened eyes as a woman with unruly maroon locks of hair stumbled into plain view. The long, wavy tresses were disheveled, looking as if they hadn't been combed nor washed in a while, and they fell into her face almost entirely. Curling at the ends more so than the rest of her waves, they flowed around her like a curtain made out of waterfalls. Her gown was extravagant—large and somewhat poofy after the waist—with lots of bowties, but the colour was pale as if trying to lessen the glamour.

Through a gap in her red-burgundy strands, her pale cerulean eyes locked with mine, and I could feel my heart thump a little harder, my breathing hitch just slightly.

"Who are you?" Her head tilted, obscuring her vision even more. She gripped the banister tightly as she descended down the steps, though something about the way she moved was different. It wasn't as smooth as a normal vampire's, and her voice seemed to shake just slightly. If I looked closer, I saw the way her hands quaked with miniscule tremors.

"I—" the words got caught in my throat, and I unconsciously took a step back as she reached the last step, tripping over nothing but her own two feet, but catching herself before hitting the floor. She swayed as she straightened herself up again.

I wasn't sure what shook me so hard. Maybe it was the fact that they looked _so alike_ that it was almost uncanny, or the fact that I wanted to do something—anything—to help her, but didn't know what. It wasn't my first time meeting someone whose mentality's stability was skewed, but I had never been in those people's presences for long. I would always get taken away, dragged away, or I would run and never turn back. I never had _time _to turn back.

Fear didn't penetrate me as I watched her, but I felt my throat close up. I blinked, unsure of what I was feeling. My own emotions bubbled up and overflowed, but they confused me. I wasn't nervous or excited or happy or upset. I wasn't ecstatic to meet her, nor was I anxiously waiting to get out of her presence.

"Who are you?" she repeated, her smooth tone docile. She meandered her way closer, and I could only watch her with cautious eyes as her rather clumsy form tipped side to side. With the short glimpses I got when her hair revealed her familiar yet foreign sapphire orbs, I saw that they darted around the room quickly. "Who are you? Where is he? Why isn't he home yet? My baby—why isn't my baby home yet?"

"I'm—"

"He can't leave!" she cut me off, her voice rising to a higher octave. Her thin arms suddenly came up to clutch at her head, which she shook from side to side violently. "He can't leave me like that—like that bastard—my baby... When is my baby coming? Why hasn't he arrived yet?" Just as unexpectedly as her actions from earlier, she released her head from her hands and then peered up at me. Arms extending, her voice trembled slightly as she reached for me. "Hey—who are you?—have you seen my baby? Have you seen—"

"I haven't—" I broke my sentence off as her arms wrapped around me. For someone who seemed so frail and so delicate, she had a vise-like grip. I tried hard not to squirm at our proximity—being so physically close to someone I wasn't familiar with always made me tense and freeze up—but I didn't doubt that even if I didn't restrain myself from doing so, her clutch on me would.

As she rested her forehead on my shoulder, I felt my entire body stiffening. The beats of my heart began to speed up, alarm bells ringing loudly inside my mind. I had to remind myself that no matter what, she was still a vampire. I had to tell myself that no matter how harmless or how broken she seemed, it didn't change what she was.

Yet as she continued to mumble about "the demonic bastard" and about how she didn't want to be alone anymore, I couldn't bring myself to push her away and tell her that she invading my personal space.

The same emotion from earlier whirled inside me again, and it took me a moment to realize that it was _pity_.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to mull over my own thoughts, because she shifted her head. Cool breaths fanned the crook of my neck, and I felt the hair on my arms rising. My hands clenched beside me, and my lips pressed tightly into a thin line as I felt her mouth opening a bit wider, her lips ghosting along my skin.

In that moment, I didn't _care_ who she was. All I knew was that I was _not _going to let her drink from me. No matter how I felt toward her, no matter how much I wanted to help her or ease her suffering, I wasn't kind enough to let her sink her fangs into me and suck me dry.

Not even if she was his mother.

I was just about to push her securely away from me, but before I could do so and before her extended canines could sink into me, I felt something slid over my shoulder from behind, wrapping around my neck and then pulling me backward. I stumbled into a firm, warm chest, my eyes widening as I stared at the forearm—a forearm that surely wasn't _mine_—that she had bitten into.

"I've spoiled you too much, Mother." His voice, which I hadn't heard for a measly five days, hummed from behind me, echoing throughout my entire body. I felt my heart leap into my throat, my senses tingling. His scent wafted around me, enveloping me in a cape. Even though I had been sleeping in his bed and immersing myself in his blankets that faintly held his distinct fragrance, being so close to him made me realize that none of that stuff did him justice.

She didn't respond to him, busy feeding off of his blood. But her grip on his arm tightened, her body relaxing itself.

There was a part of me that was telling me not to turn and look at him—if I did, I was sure that my heart would shoot out of my chest—but another part, a stronger side, desperately wanted to see him. It hadn't even been that long, but I felt like I hadn't seen him in a millennium.

Slowly, almost tentatively, I tilted my head to look over my shoulder. Instantly, my eyes caught his, and no amount of self control would've been able to stop me from breathing his name in what could've been—but I refused to see it as such—wonder.

"... Shiki."

Apparently there was a saying that went along the lines of, "distance makes the heart grow fonder" or something like that. I had never quite understood such a thing—maybe I did, but I just never saw that I was "distant" from those people, those places—but as I stood there looking up at the maroon-haired model, I felt like I knew _exactly _what the saying meant.

A million emotions seemed to bombard me as I stared at him. Delight, relief, irritation, _relief_. The tons of bricks that had been sitting on top of my chest seemed to dissolve into thin air upon seeing that he was well—that he was _alive_. I hadn't wanted to believe that anything tragic had happened to him, but I knew deep down that it wasn't entirely impossible.

The fact that he was there, standing so close that only a few measly centimetres separated our bodies, made me feel like I could've flown.

My eyes raked across his face, taking in everything about him, almost as if I had never seen him before in my life. His pale skin was still as flawless and pale as ever, his eyes still a shield of blank blue ice. His thick locks of wavy hair were still rather messy, though it looked like he had tried to calm it down just a tad. Nothing about him looked different except for the slight crescents that hung under his crystalline eyes, but somehow he looked so handsome that I was speechless.

When his lips parted and he spoke, I felt like his voice had curled around me in a caress. "Sasaki." Oblivious to the fact that my traitorous heart stopped before skipping beats, his head tilted, a stray strand or two of his hair falling into his eyes. He stared at me for a moment with his apathetic expression, but his eyes burned.

Eventually, he asked quietly, "Are you alright?"

It took me a moment to find my voice, but when I spoke, it sounded strange even to my own ears. "Yes."

Another few heartbeats in which we remained silent, eyes locked, and then he finally let his gaze drop. "Good."

I had probably just imagined it, but I could've sworn that his grip around me tightened a bit, bringing me closer to him for just a second, before he loosened his hold on me.

It frustrated me to know that all I wished for at that moment was for time to stop and leave me there with him.

Resisting the urge to sigh, to reach out and embrace him, to tell him to continue holding me close, I clamped my jaw shut tightly and bit on my tongue. I struggled to smooth my expression back into something that I hoped could be seen as nonchalance, attempting to calm my racing heart in the process.

I watched as Shiki stepped closer to his mother as she finished feeding from him, his sweater's sleeve torn and his arm bleeding from the punctures. There was no emotion in his voice as he stated, "I'm home, Mother."

"Oh, Senri," she murmured, throwing her arms around him and crushing him to her despite the fact that he was much taller. She ran her hands through his hair before dropping them to his shoulders, then letting them slide down his arms. When she let him pull away, she stared at him with an unreadable expression before it quickly filled with anger. "You're starting to look more like that filthy demon every time you come visit. Your hair, your eyes, the way you're growing up—why is it him? Why are you—will you leave me, too? Will you throw me away just like he did? Senri, why is like this?"

Nothing escaped Shiki's mouth, and he made no move to console her. He merely held her in his arms as she muttered incoherently about Shiki's father and her deceased partner, his eyes gazing down at her without any emotion in them whatsoever. In fact, he looked even more detached than usual, more careless and more impassive.

Being around her made him even more hollow than he already was.

My eyebrows furrowed together, my expression twisting itself into a scowl involuntarily. My lips thinned and clenched my hands together, stuffing them into the pockets of my coat in order to stop myself from doing anything rash. No matter what seemed to have happened between them, I knew that it wasn't my place to butt into their reunion.

I wasn't even supposed to be here, anyways.

Letting out a barely audible sigh, my mind flashed back to how I had gotten here in the first place. Even now, I could barely even understand how I had managed to drag myself to the Shiki mansion.

* * *

"Rima-senpai?" _Incredulity glazed over my usual stoical tone, but that couldn't be helped. Rima and I surely didn't hate each other—or so I'd like to think—but we weren't close enough to call one another up to just chat. It was an unusual occurrence, and one that I couldn't help but question._

_"Sasaki," she greeted in her chiming voice. "Just the person I needed to speak with."_

_From beside me, Yuuki's eyebrows shot upwards, and she leaned in closer in an attempt to listen to the conversation better._

_Confused and somewhat wary, I asked cautiously, "Why?"_

_"Have you heard from Shiki lately?" she inquired directly, not bothering to beat around the bush. I was caught off guard at her question—most people would've attempted to make some kind of small talk before jumping into it—but I had to admire how straightforward she was. I hated useless chatter, anyways._

_Hearing his name coming from her made my heart squeeze a bit in my chest, but I ignored the feeling. I wasn't sure what compelled her to think that I'd be in touch with Shiki during winter break, but I had to admit that it made me feel like I was closer to him than I really was._

_"No, I haven't," I answered. However, just by having her call and ask me about him, I knew that something wasn't right. Her usually indifferent voice held a tint of concern in them that only appeared when Shiki or Ichijou was involved, and I found myself asking, "What happened?"_

_She didn't say anything for a moment. I could imagine her shaking her head as she replied, "I don't know. I haven't been able to contact him at all. He's supposed to be back at home by now, but when I called, nobody picked up the phone. I have a bad feeling about this."_

_"I haven't spoken to him since he left," I informed her, trying to keep the disbelief and irritation out of my tone. What was he _doing_? Surely he knew that Rima would be aware of him not being home yet, or that she would be concerned if she couldn't reach him, so what in the world was he doing?_

_I refused to believe that anything had happened to him._

_"Hmm." Her sound of contemplation only lasted a brief moment before silence filled the other line. I, too, didn't say a word. Somehow, I could feel the tension and the dark atmosphere even through the phone._

_My hand gripped at the device tighter, and my other hand curled into a fist. A scowl contorted my features, an unpleasant feeling trickling along my spine. Yuuki's dark ruby eyes were trained on my face in concern, silently questioning, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I continued to stare at the spot on the ground like it was the most fascinating thing I had ever seen, trying to calm the restlessness that was beginning to bubble up inside of me._

_I scolded myself whenever my mind wandered over to any tragic scenarios._

_Eventually, she broke the terse silence. "Are you busy?"_

_"No." My eyebrows knitted together._

_"Not just right now," she specified. "I was speaking about the entire break."_

_Puzzlement and bewilderment lined my voice. "My answer's still the same. Is there any reason why you're—"_

_"Go visit him," she cut me off._

_Silence from my side of the line._

_I blinked my eyes at the fixed area on the floor that I had been staring at, wondering if I had heard right or not. For a moment, I could've sworn that she was joking. The thought of going to Shiki's house uninvited and without his knowledge for no concrete reason—he was _fine_—would be stupid and unnecessary._

_But I knew from her tone that she wasn't kidding._

_Opening my mouth, I tried to say something, but I was in too much disbelief to do so. Shutting my jaws, I took another moment to try and compose my thoughts again before trying to speak. Opened, closed, then opened, then closed again. Eventually, I managed to squeeze out,_ "What_?"_

_"He lives in a rather remote area," she notified me, almost as if I had already agreed. "It's a one-day bullet-train ride away from the town next to Cross Academy. In order to get there, you'll have to stop at—"_

_"What," I interrupted her swiftly, "makes you think that I'm actually _going_?"_

_She exhaled, a hint of exasperation in her tone. Or maybe I had been imagining it. I could almost hear the furrow of her eyebrows and the challenging look in her otherwise dull sapphire orbs as she asked, "Are you unconcerned about him?"_

_"I'm pretty sure he's not dead," came my flat and quick response. I could only hope that I sounded ten times more confident than I actually felt._

_"It doesn't mean that he's _okay_." There was a sort of fierce emotion in her voice that startled me just slightly—although Rima had more spunk and was more vocal about her emotions than Shiki was, it was still rare to witness such a thing._

_My eyes darkened, my hands clenching tighter even though it seemed impossible. Yuuki shifted uncomfortably from where she sat next to me, probably sensing the heavy tension that was created by the situation. I made sure to keep my voice neutrally blank as I asked her, "Why _me_? I'm sure that it'd be better if _you _went to visit him."_

_"I can't get out of my schedule." I would've asked her if her schedule was more important than Shiki's well-being if it wasn't for the remorse and self-loathing that I could hear her trying to contain. "I'm days away—it'll be too late by the time I get there, even if I sneak out."_

_"And Ichijou is unavailable because?"_

_"He's with Kaname-sama." There was some kind of tone in her voice that wasn't flattering as she said the Pureblood's name. "I don't know where they went."_

_Somewhat surprised, the question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. "He didn't tell you?"_

_"... No," she eventually sighed. Her voice lingered with exhaustion as she asked, "Sasaki, won't you check on Shiki? You're also worried, aren't you?"_

_"I—"_

_Another voice hollered Rima's name in the background, the vaguely familiar voice registering in my mind as her and Shiki's manager—I never cared enough about her to actually remember her name—and Rima's voice was muffled as she responded. I sat there waiting for her to return back to the line, a hurricane of conflicting emotions inside of me._

_When she finally came back, she apologized quickly before saying, "I have to go. Get a pen and a piece of paper to write down Shiki's address and the directions to get there, Sasaki. _Quickly."  
_  
Even though I didn't have any full intention of actually traveling over to his hometown—I was still fighting different sides of myself for a resolute decision—I still scrambled for the materials I needed to scrawl down his address. I barely managed to keep up with her as she threw instructions at me, telling me names of different towns and different streets. By the time she had finished, my hand hurt and was cramped from how fast I had been chicken-scratching her words down._

_I turned to face the entrance to the living room, as did Yuuki, when voices filled the household just as the door opened._

_Zero and Kaien had returned._

_"Visit his house to make sure he's okay." It was supposed to be a question, but it sounded much more like a command. Then she said, "I know you will, Sasaki."_

_"Don't assume such things," came my flat retort._

_"You care about him." Her voice was blasé, but there was a blanket of annoyance underneath it. "That's why I know you'll go."_

_My eyes narrowed at her words. "Aren't you taking advantage of me?"_

_"Partially," she confessed without hesitance. There was no shame or remorse in her voice, though, and somehow it made me want to smile in amusement. I didn't, however, and her voice was shrieked by her manager once more before she stated, "I have to go. I'll call again in a few days to get updated. Until then, bye, Sasaki."_

_"Wait, Rima-senpai, I—" Anything else that I wanted to say would've been met with the dialing tone, and I sighed heavily, my eyebrows pulling together as I pulled the phone away from my ear. I scowled down at the communication device, almost as if I was blaming it for my problems, before placing it back where it belonged._

_"Rima-chan called?" Kaien's surprised voice flowed into the room, and I whipped around to see both of the vampire hunters standing at the doorway, still dressed in their casual clothing._

_I didn't even have a chance to _try _to lie, because Yuuki answered for me. "Yes. I don't know exactly what's going on, but it sounds really serious." She turned her gaze toward me. "Is Shiki-senpai in trouble?"_

_I wanted to scream at her and tell her that she was _not _supposed to go and say something like that in front of Kaien and Zero, because undoubtedly a big deal would be made out of the situation. It was the last thing I needed, but a part of me was relieved she had blurted it all out. Maybe having a discussion about what course of action to take would be better—I was absolutely torn as to what I should do._

_"My adorable Shiki-kun is in trouble?!" Kaien looked flabbergasted, exaggerating a gasp. He ran into the room and sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me to him as if he was trying to comfort me. "Oh, Ri-chan! It's okay, I'm sure he's fine!"_

_Never the dramatic type, Zero gave Kaien's actions a dismissive look before letting his eyes rest on me. "What happened to the bloodsucker?"_

_Warmth tingled in my chest at the fact that the silver-haired hunter even cared enough to ask. Although Zero often spoke about hating all vampires, the fact that he even bothered to inquire about Shiki's state of health made me feel somewhat delighted. It was as if he was being more accepting of them—that he was starting to get used to seeing Shiki and I together._

_The lie dying in my throat, I shook my head and muttered, "We don't know. That's the problem."_

_"Start from the beginning," Kaien suggested kindly, trying to sound both cheerful and solemn at the same time. I knew he was just trying to lighten up the mood, and I tried not to sound as horrible as I felt as I explained._

_"Rima-senpai has lost contact with Shiki for a while now, and she says that it's unusual. She doesn't know why, and she's worried."_

_"She wants Riku to visit Shiki's home, I think," Yuuki revealed innocently. I resisted the urge to slam my head into the wall._

_Zero let out a scoff, turning his head away and folding his arms across his chest. "The bloodsucker's _fine_."_

_"You don't know that!" Yuuki immediately protested, frowning at the tall amethyst-orbed hunter. Her lips pursed together as she said,_ "_It _is _rare that Shiki-senpai and Rima-senpai lose touch for an extended period of time, isn't it? They're so close and they're always together... It's weird."_

_His light topaz eyes zeroing in on the piece of paper that I had placed in plain view of everyone in the room—I needed to work on my tactics—Kaien picked it up and raised his eyebrows. "These are directions to Shiki-kun's house, are they not?" His eyes slanted to meet mine in sparkling curiosity. "You've already decided to go?"_

_"No!" I immediately objected. "She told me to write it down just in case I—"_

_"So you're _not _going?" Yuuki interrupted, sounding horrified. Her doe-like ruby eyes were wide as she stared at me in bewilderment and shock._

_Frustrated, I denied, "I never said that I'm _not_—"_

_"So you _are_," Kaien confirmed. His eyes danced with amusement that irritated me to no end, and I found myself shaking my head at the two of them roughly._

_"I_ don't know_," I half-growled, irritation leaking into my voice. I shot the two of them looks that ordered them to keep their mouths shut as I thought about it._

_Luckily, Zero was there to offer some guidance. Unfortunately, his advice wasn't exactly _advice_. "Do you intend to go check up on the parasite?"_

I whipped my glower over to him. "Did you not just hear a single word I said?"

_His light violet eyes met my similar ones steadily, unwaveringly. He almost looked _bored _as he remarked, "If you honestly weren't sure what you'd do, you wouldn't have been staring at the sheet with the directions on it so desperately."_

_Stunned—had I really been doing that?—I opened my mouth to make some kind of snappy retort, only to shut it closed just as fast when I realized I didn't _have _a response. Grimacing at what he had said and what it implied, I forced myself to mumble, "It doesn't mean I'm going."_

_"Why not?" Yuuki asked, sounding incredulous and anxious. She sounded upset _for _me as she rambled, "Shiki-senpai could be in danger, Riku! There's no way that you're not worried about him. I mean, after all, you're in lo—"_

_Before she could continue that sentence, I intervened urgently. "He could be fine and is just running a little late."_

_Kaien let out a sound of musing, his eyes glinting in a way that made dread tickle my skin. I already knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth. "I don't see a reason why you can't go check. Better safe than sorry, right?"_

_"How about the fact that he lives _one day away_ even if I take a _bullet train_?" The sarcasm dripped from my voice venomously. "Even if we ignore the fact that it's so far away—which is a hard thing to brush off so easily—the truth is that I'm not rolling in money."_

_"Money isn't a problem," Kaien chirped happily. "I'll gladly lend my precious daughter money to go visit her beloved to ensure his safety! I'll give you all the money you need as long as you—"_

_"No." I folded my arms across my chest tightly and scowled. "I'm not going to accept money from you, Kaien."_

_"But you have to go," Kaien practically sang. "There's no way that you'd sit here when Shiki-kun could be in trouble, yes? Oh, _youth_!"_

_Nodding her head in agreement, Yuuki grabbed one of my hands in hers and said, "You should go, Riku. I'm sure that it'd put everyone at ease. Rima-senpai must be counting on you to make sure Shiki-senpai is okay."_

_"Why does Riku have to do that vampire's dirty work?" Zero voiced aloud something that I had been thinking in the back of mind, though in a much less crude manner. When we all looked at him, he merely frowned. "She should do it herself rather than push it onto you."_

_"Zero!" Yuuki chastised in a slightly horrified voice. "I'm sure that Rima-senpai would do it if she could!"_

_The future Association Chairman remained silent, but the look on his face said everything that he thought._

_"She's too far away." I found myself defending Rima, though I wasn't quite sure why. She _did _leave me with this entire bomb. I had to admit that I was somewhat angry at her for forcing something so distressing onto me, but another part of me was so glad that she would inform me of such a thing. Unfortunately, even though I tried to deny it, the part of me that was relieved won over my irritation._

_"If there's nobody else who can go to check up on Shiki-kun, shouldn't you do it, Ri-chan?" Kaien beamed at me. "After all, you two are practically glued to each other at the hi—"_

_I shot him a glower and interrupted scathingly, "I _don't know _if I'm going."_

_Surprisingly, it was Zero who spoke. His voice suggested that he wasn't exactly approving of the situation, but he didn't seem to completely loathe it like I had suspected. "Why not?"_

_I opened my mouth, about to explain to him again in a snappy way about my money and time issues, but he seemed to know what I was going to say, as he added, "Don't use your money excuse."_

_My mouth closed, and I scowled at him deeply. For once, it seemed like the expressions on our faces had switched; I wore his signature grimace-like countenance and he wore apathy like a mask. I didn't know what to say, but that was simply because I didn't know _why _I didn't want to go._

_Or that was really just what I wanted to tell myself. Of course I knew the reason why I didn't want to go and "visit" the vampire model._

_I was scared._

_It wasn't as if it was just one or two things that made me fear going, though. There were numerous things that made me want to stay at Cross Academy. For one thing, I wasn't sure what I would do if he _wasn't _okay. I was scared to find out the truth about his well-being, because I knew that if he was in a less than perfect condition, my emotions would spiral out of control and I would probably end up creating a crater in the surface of the earth. I didn't know if I could trust myself to go and check—I didn't exactly have an amazing reign over my emotions._

_Especially when it came to Shiki._

_Another thing was that I didn't know what to say or do if he _was _okay. The way I saw it, it was a lose-lose situation either way. He could be hurt and I'd destroy buildings, or he would be okay and I would be an awkward statue. He would question me, wonder why I was there—and, undoubtedly, probably wonder if I was a crazy stalker._

_... I was kidding myself._

_Shiki would never think I was one of his fan-girls. It was obvious that I really didn't care that he modelled—in fact, I honesty found it bothersome and I wondered on numerous occasions how insane he was in order to take it up as an occupation while being a student. And not to mention he was a _vampire_. But that second point was ignored. Even though I knew that he wouldn't think badly of me, I was a hundred and ten percent sure that he would ask me to stay. He'd offer hospitality and he'd be ridiculously generous and kind, and I didn't _want _that._

_How could I trust myself to be alone with him—without the prying eyes of the Night or Day Classes and without Kaien or Zero or Yuuki—and expect myself to not fall more in love with him?_

_The mere thought of having even more emotions in my chest whenever I saw him, having my heart race even faster, having my thoughts consumed by him even more than they already were—it absolutely terrified me. I didn't want to fall for him more than I already did. I didn't want to have an even stronger urge to stay with him forever, or to have him hold me, or to have him say my name. I didn't want to continue to imagine about how things _could_ be, or how things _should _be. All the emotions I felt couldn't be described, but I knew that having so much affection for him was dangerous. It made me feel fuzzy and warm, but it also made me feel so cold and numb. It brought about too many different thoughts and sentiments._

_Being any more in love with him than I was now would surely destroy me._

_"Ri-chan?" Kaien's curious voice broke me out of my reverie._

_I looked up at him, blinking my eyes. I was still a bit dazed from my inner musings. "What?"_

_There was a gentleness in his light topaz eyes. Despite the light tone of his voice when he had called my name, his expression was quite different. His features were laced with solemnity as he looked at me, though the warmth in his eyes was undeniable and ever so present. When he reached out and grasped one of my hands with both of his much larger ones, I felt my throat closing up—I just _knew _that he was going to say something that would probably help me decide on what I was going to be doing for the rest of my winter break._

_And I already knew what he wanted me to do._

_"Shiki-kun is one of my valuable, adorable Night Class students." Kaien's voice was soft, dancing with fondness. "To know that he could be in danger greatly upsets me. I would go myself to see whether or not he needs assistance, but I can't leave the Academy unattended so suddenly. I know that you care quite a lot about Shiki-kun, Riku. And I know that it might scare you, but don't you want to know for sure whether or not he's okay?"_

_"I do, but—"_

_The legendary vampire hunter cut me off before I could say anything else, jumping off the couch and pulling me up with him. He clapped his hands gleefully, eyes sparkling. His mood had changed within a second. "No buts! Come, let us get you ready!" He began skipping away, his scarf flying out behind him. He began singing about how his daughter was growing up and going on solo trips, and about how it was both a lonely and happy Christmas all mixed into one. The three of us watched him as he disappeared around the corner, his footsteps heading toward the front door._

_After a moment, Zero slanted his gaze to me. Sounding nonchalant, he asked, "Why are you just standing there?"_

_My eyebrows scrunched together. "You're not objecting to it?"_

_The silver-haired vampire remained silent for a moment, his eyes shielded slightly by his light strands of hair. Eventually, he said, "It's none of my business."_

_A small giggle escaped Yuuki's lips, and she slowly slid herself upright from the couch. Linking her arm through mine, her bright eyes matched her delighted aura as she grinned at us. "We have to help you pack! Who knows what kind of crazy things Ch—Daddy is placing into your suitcase right now!"_

_Lips pursing for another moment as I mulled over just exactly what was going to happen if I followed Kaien back to the Moon Dorms, it only took another second for me to let out a resigned sigh. I knew that I wasn't fooling anybody—no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that staying at Cross Academy was better, I knew that my heart had already decided on visiting him the moment Rima had told me he might be hurt. I could probably have been chained to a room at the Academy, but I would've somehow broken out to go find him. It was pathetic and inexplicable, but my entire system would be sinking restlessly until I knew he was all in one piece._

_Realizing that they were still waiting for an answer from me, I blinked up at them for a second before shifting my eyes to the ground. Quietly, I mumbled, "Okay."_

* * *

Something warm wrapped around my wrist, jolting me out of my reverie. Startled, I stared up in surprise at a pair of blank cerulean eyes that stared back. He was standing so close that I could practically feel the warmth of his body emitting from him, feel the tips of his breath as he exhaled. I felt my heart jump into my throat, rendering me speechless.

"Done zoning out, Sasaki?" he questioned, his head tilting just slightly in that habit of his.

My eyes darted around the room, remembering where we were and what had been occurring before I had started daydreaming. His mother was nowhere to be seen, nor was the vampire that had greeted me at the door. I cursed at myself for missing out on what had transpired between the two relatives, knowing that I should have paid more attention. But I knew that if I had observed them closely, I would've only been intruding on family matters that weren't part of my business.

As if reading my mind, Shiki notified me, "They went back to their respective duties."

Not knowing what else to say, I merely settled for an, "I see." My eyes landed on his chin, then fell toward his neck, where I noticed punctures that were already halfway healed. My lips immediately twisted into a grimace as I saw them, the wounds informing me of what had happened during the time that I had been in my own little world. Although I knew that it was normal for vampires to drink from one another even if they didn't have any special attachments or feelings, I still hated the fact that she drank from him despite all she had said to him.

Did she know what she did to him? Did she know just how she affected him? The answer was obvious, and I knew that it wasn't fully her fault, and yet I—

"Let's go." He began walking toward the front door that we had entered from just a few minutes ago, his grip on wrist firm so that he could pull me along. I stumbled slightly after him, staring at the back of his head in bewilderment.

"_What_? Where are we going?" I demanded, briefly taking note of the fact that my belongings were gone. I suspected that he had someone put them away in a room already, but that was horrible. I did _not_ intend to stay at his household for the duration of winter break. Aside from the fact that it was _his _house, the entire place just gave me an eerie feeling in general.

"Out," Shiki answered flatly. He barely gave me time to close the front door—I didn't even know if it was locked—before he began pulling me down the front steps. Briefly looking over his shoulder at me, he commented blandly, "There are things we need to speak about, Sasaki."

"No shit," came my incredulous agreement. "But why—"

Abruptly, he stopped and half-turned his body around to pin his eyes on me. The storm that was in his eyes made my mouth shut immediately, my breath catching in my throat. I felt my heart thumping faster in my chest, my toes curling a bit in my shoes. His grip on my wrist tightened, and when he spoke, I felt my stomach clenching with butterflies.

"Is it wrong to want to go somewhere with you?"

And what could I possibly say? Quiet, somewhat flustered, and just a tad bit breathless, my response was almost an unintentional whisper.

"...No, it's not."

Our eyes remained locked for the longest time, neither one of us looking away first, the air between us crackling with electricity that I hoped that I wasn't imagining.

He let out a sound that could've passed for a second's worth of a chuckle before he turned around again, our footsteps starting once more in the silence.

And as we continued our walk, I couldn't help but notice he had tugged me up to walk next to him, our arms brushing every time we took a step.

I also couldn't stop the blood from rushing up to my cheeks when his hand somehow slipped to hold mine.

* * *

**A/N: **

And that concludes the twenty-sixth chapter of Shitsuren! I HOPE THAT THE LAST SCENE MAKES UP FOR MY LACK OF AN UPDATE LAST MONTH! OTL. -DIESDIESDIES-

I was grinning like an idiot when I got to the part when Shiki showed up again. And I was laughing like a moron when Riku was bickering with the butler. HOHOHO. That was so fun to right. It was a moment in which Riku's attitude was being shown. -grins brightly-

I had fun writing this chapter! But I swear that it's not gonna be as much fun as writing the next.

I MEAN, C'MON. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO FULL OF SHIKI AND RIKU GOODNESS. LIKE, I DON'T EVEN- I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE CHAPTER YET, BUT I KNOW THAT IT'LL OOZE WITH SHIKIXRIKU INTERACTION. -DIES- Look forward to it, guys! (:

SPECIAL LOVE AND THANKS TO MY MAGNIFICENT REVIEWERS;

**Alliana2312, RainyDaes, Sabrina-nee, levyredfoxichi, xPoisonedBlueRose13x, ZabuzasGirl, Hikari-Suzume, Princesa de la Luna, xXMizukiXx, Shekame, x3sYellowie, Tsukuda Sumiko, Rane Miura here, RedRose1029, KuroNightroad, XXTakaraXX, SilverNeira, Sh3lby, XxblackpapermoonxX, Astin, akagami hime chan, AliceMarieSwan, The Goddess Of Flash, EvilBoyzR2Cute, XxKnightWingxX, fantasyblast, Ficchii, and Aidou and Koga Lover**

THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS! You guys have no idea how much it means to me. I really appreciate it! (: They make my dayyyy.

Also, thanks to everyone who favourited and reviewed!

RESPONSES!

To **levyredfoxichi**;

SHIKI'S FINALLY BACK! -fangirl squeal- EXCITEMENTTT! HAHA. Nooo, don't be scared! It doesn't exactly follow the manga. It sorta does, but sorta doesn't, I guess. I think it depends on how you look at it? I'd say that it doesn't, though. SO DON'T BE SCARED!  
Thank youuuu! I hope that you liked this chapter just as much as the previous one! Thank you for always supporting me! (:

To **xXMizukiXx**;

Correct! I really can't imagine Rima calling for any other reason, anyways. LOL. She and Riku has had, like, no interaction at all in the story. -DIES- It's something that I should fix, definitely.  
It's fine that you didn't review the previous chapter! I'm just happy to know that you read it. XD  
Aww, thank youuu! Even so, I'm sorry that I make you guys wait like this. OTL. I don't think that I'm the only one who can write a Shiki romance properly, because there are so many talented people mixed into this community, but that's a _very_ flattering compliment. ;D  
THANK YOU! Can you believe it's been twenty-five chapters? Well, twenty-six chapters if you include this one. Man, I should be at chapter thirty-eight by now or something. T_T  
ASDFGHJLK. THANK YOU! I'm happy to know I have readers and friends like you! (: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter now that Shiki is back, and I hope to hear from you again! Thank you so much for your continuously amazing support!

To **Shekame**;

You flatter me so much! I can't handle so many praises. My ego will inflate to the point where it knocks people out of my way wherever I go. OTL.  
LMAO. Yeah, the ShikixRiku moments. -starry eyed- There's going to be lots of that in the next chapter for sure! I'm glad that you don't want me going with the original plot, by the way. I hated what happened. It was stupid. -SLAPPED-  
THAT'S MY FAULT. LOL. I APOLOGIZE. I've been updating pretty slowly lately if you compare me to the other writers in the fandom. -SOBS- I can't wait until that chapter gets written, too. It'll be hilarious to write; I can just imagine the reactions. -grins-  
OSNBONWOAWNB. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I have to say thanks to you a million times for everything you said. The compliments- urghhh, dying from so many emotionsss. HAHA. Shitsuren's getting so oldddd. I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point. xD  
The chapter is finally out and Shiki returned! HOHOHO. I hope that you enjoyed it! Thank YOU for always reading and supporting me! It means a lotttt! (:

To **x3sYellowie**;

IS IT? Well, sort of. I guess. Maybe. ;O I find that her love story is just like most tragedies. -SLAPPED- Okay, this is me being heartless. T_T IGNORE ME.  
That part will be explained later! HAHA. I'm happy you noticed itttt. (:  
Thank you for your support, and I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! SHIKI'S FINALLY BACKKK! -excited-

To **Tsukuda Sumiko**;

Welllll. Sort of. Kind of. I don't even know. LOL. YOU DON'T NEED TO STAY UP SO LATE JUST TO REVIEW FOR ME! T-T Your health is more important. ):  
HAHA. I'm glad that you took a look at it and saw it! LOOOOL. Mm. I'm kind of glad that you don't have a favourite? I guess in a way it means that I've created likeable characters despite their differences. And because I have favourites when it comes to my OCs. -SLAPPED-  
He finally showed up again! I HOPE THAT IT MAKES UP FOR MY LATE UPDATE! XD  
Thank you for your amazing support all the time, Tsukuda! You have no idea how happy it makes me. (: I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter!

To **RedRose1029**;

LOL, but the list keeps growing longer and longer! I feel bad for people who have to scroll down so many paragraphs to find their name! XD I'm glad that you enjoy the fact that I do responses, though! (:  
HE'S FINALLY BACK. YES. I AM SO HAPPY. LOL.  
Oh trust me, I hate her. Like, I HATEEEEEEE her. I loathe her with a passion. I could rage and rant about how much I hate her for days. AND DID YOU READ THE LATEST CHAPTER? HOLY FU- -FLIPS TABLES- I'M SO ANGRY WITH IT.  
I'm glad you liked it! Oh god. Your dreams sound horrible. LOL. ARE YOU OKAY? ASDFGHJKL. Do you eat weird things before going to bed? -DIES-  
Yeah... It's weird for Rima to call Riku for anything. It's just... not right. But it's been revealed in this chapter! YAYYY!  
Aww, thank you! You're awesomesauce! (: I'm always happy to hear from you! Thank you so much for taking the time to review for me and to read my stuffffff. I hope that you loved this chapter! I MEAN, C'MON. SHIKI'S BACK. ;D

To **KuroNightroad**;

It's been a while, BUT THAT'S OKAY. OUR PMS MAKE UP FOR IT, NO WORRIES. You don't need to feel awkwardddd. XD You know that I don't really mind whether you review or not; knowing that you read my stuff is enough of a compliment. xD  
You've mentioned it before~ XD I'm glad that you like her so much, though! I never really intended to make her super likeable or anything. LOL. But I'm happy that you do! If you hugged her, Amaterasu would probably just end up crying. ;_;  
Oh definitely. There's no way Rima would call unless she had to. LOL. I can't imagine it. Plus Riku would probably just disconnect the call; she can't talk about sweets for too long before getting irritated.  
THANK YOU! LOOOOOOOL. I wouldn't want to make you do that! D; I mean, you must be so busy. Although it would be totally awesome. HAHA.  
As always, Kuro, it's an absolute pleasure to hear from youuuuu! I hope you're doing well. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to write me a review. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter since Shiki came back now! XDDD

To** XXTakaraXX**;

I can't answer your first question, nor the second! I'M SORRY. You'll just have to wait until later chapters to find out! (:  
Thank you for your continuous support! I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter 'cause Shiki is finally back! YAAAAAAAAAY! ;D

To **Astin**;

LOOOL. Yeah, that's how you spell her name. THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT! XD AND I KNOW, RIGHT? RIKU NEEDS TO STOP DENYING ALL HER FEEEEELS. It irritates me a bit as well, AND I'M THE AUTHOR. T_T  
THANK YOUUUU! Shitsuren's getting so old. LOL. A SEQUEL? ASDFGHJLK. I CAN'T THINK ABOUT THAT YET. -DIES-  
Oh... Is that what a pimp post is? LOL. IF YOU FINISHED IT, WHY HAVEN'T YOU LINKED ME TO IT? -DIES- I WANT TO SEE!  
I'm glad that your teeth are feeling better, by the way! HAHA. I remember I didn't want to do anything but curl into a ball in my bed and lie there forever. xD  
Thank you for your encouraging supporttttt! YOU need to stay amazing. (; I hope that you liked the chapter!

To **akagami hime chan**;

LMAO. Well, I'll be forever grateful and happy that you managed to stumble upon my fanfic! (:  
YOUR COMPLIMENTS- ASDFGHJKL. THANK YOU! I'm glad that you don't think Riku is a Mary-Sue! I hate those as well. I think it's why I take so much care in constructing my OCs. xD  
HAHAHAHA. I love that "stalking" thing. (; But in all solemnity, I'm glad that you've decided to follow my story as well as myself! GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON BOARDDD! (:  
I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! And thank you so, so much for reviewing for me! STALK AWAYYY! -DIES- (;

END OF RESPONSES!

I would answer more, but I feel like I wrote too many paragraphs this time. T_T BUT YOU KNOW. I READ EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. LIKE, A MILLION TIMES. And I know that I have to thank, like, five of you that I didn't include in my responses and say that I'm sorry for not writing you guys one and for telling you guys you're all awesome and that I suck and- -BREATHES-

Okay. I'll stop rambling. ):

Thank you guys so much for answering the question last time! You guys all had the same predictions and the same ideas, which made me smile 'cause y'all are so awesome. HAHA. This time, the question will be...

**QUESTION: In the next chapter, what would you like Shiki and Riku to talk about the most? ( Please don't say you want them to confess their undying love to each other. LMAO. )**

SHARE WITH ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AND PREDICTIONS AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF! You guys have no idea how much I'd love to hear from you guys! And who knows? Maybe what you want them to chat about will be included in the actual chapter! -GASPS- (;

Once again, I'm so sorry for the late update! I'll try my best to update again in November sometime, but... No promises. -SOBS- I'M SORRY. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me!

Drop me a review and let's be friends! (:

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


	27. Spring Will Surely Come

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters. All rights go solely to Matsuri Hino.**

**A/N:**

HELLLLLLLLLLO!

First off, to those of you who celebrate Christmas, I think I should say something like, "Merry late Christmas!" or something like that. HAHA. I'm sorry! I wanted to get this chapter up before the 25th, but I got caught up in a bunch of family stuff that made it impossible to finish Shitsuren's chapter. OTL.

But oh god. I'm sorry for not updating in November! The time just flew by so fast! Report cards came and I died. Seriously. Math is destroying me like nothing else. HAHA.

Even though it's a little late, I hope that you guys will accept this chapter of Shitsuren as a late present! I'm really sorry that it's the only thing that I can give you guys, and it's even late... -SLAPPED- Despite all that, I hope that you guys will still accept it!

This chapter has a lot of Shiki in it, so I hope that you guys enjoyyyyyyyyyy! (x

* * *

**Shitsuren.**

**A Vampire Knight fanfiction.**

__"Broken Heart"__

**CHAPTER T_W_E_N_T_Y_S_E_V_E_N;**

_"Spring Will Surely Come"_

* * *

DAY TWENTY-NINE [ CONTINUED ] 

* * *

We didn't say anything as we walked. In the silence of the small, nearly uninhibited town, the only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of a single pair of footsteps—_my _footsteps—and the occasional chirping of birds that rested along the bare branches of sleeping trees.

White puffs of mist formed every time I exhaled, fading just as fast as they appeared. The scenery was just a blur to me, because even though I knew I should've been focusing on everything around me, I was too aware of the hand that held mine and the model that walked beside me.

My heart was pounding in my ribcage like a jackhammer. I hated it; it was mortifying. Despite all the times it occurred to me to ask him, I never got around to it—was his hearing so acute that he could hearing the rapid pounding of heartbeats? I wished upon stars that he couldn't, because if he could... Well, someone could probably shove me into a ditch then drag me into a cave and it would still be better than having him know the kind of affect he had on me.

Shiki's hand was bigger than mine, but I always knew that it would be. It wasn't by much, though. His hand was softer, too. In fact, his fingers were so slender and his skin so flawless that they looked almost feminine.

I had to fight back the urge to scowl, because how was that fair?

"What's wrong?" His voice startled me out of my reverie, and my eyes darted over to rest on him, only to find him looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. I told myself I was being an idiot for letting my heart jump up into my throat.

"Nothing." I forced my voice to stay neutral, but I knew that it seemed strained. I wanted to slap myself for it.

"Nice try, Sasaki," he said. When his grip on my hand tightened just slightly, I wanted to snatch myself out of his grip and start slapping him, because he could _not_ do this to me and expect me _not _to go frantic.

Brushing away the image of yanking ferociously on his locks of hair while wailing in frustration, I settled for insisting, "It's _nothing_."

"Your face said otherwise," he noted dully.

"It's none of your business," I retorted. My lips tugged downwards even more, thinning slightly. I was _not _going to spill my guts out and tell him about my idiotic thoughts. There was absolutely no way I would admit that I had been thinking about how much we didn't fit—how I didn't seem feminine enough for him or delicate enough. Feminine and delicate in the way Rima was.

Thinking about the gold-haired model made my head throb painfully. Just the mere thought of her made me feel the oncoming headache. I had no idea how I was supposed to feel or what I was supposed to do now. The only reason I was here was because of her, after all. I didn't even know how to contact her and let her know that Shiki was alright.

Nonchalantly, Shiki shifted his blank aqua eyes ahead of him once more. "Touché." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I would've offered help."

"Trust me," I muttered, "you wouldn't be able to do anything." I knew that he was just being nice. Perhaps Shiki and I _did_ have something a tiny bit deeper than just usual friendship, but that was it. It was _comradeship_, just on a slightly more profound level. It wasn't anything nearly as intimate as what he and Rima shared.

But even though I knew this, a part of me still swelled up in joy at the fact that he'd even bother to notice that something was off.

It had only been a handful of days since the last time I had seen him, but I felt like it had been forever. If I hadn't come here and met up with him, I wondered if I could've still remembered every aspect about him the way I did now, or would it have seemed so long ago to me that the details would blur around the edges?

"It's impossible to help if I don't know what the problem is, Sasaki," he pointed out flatly.

"Why does it even _matter_?" I gritted my teeth. Immediately, I regretted what I said. I wanted to take it all back, because I didn't want to hear his answer. What if he told me that it _didn't _matter, he was just asking out of courtesy? What was I supposed to say something like that? I hated to admit it, and I would never tell a soul, but I would be crushed if that was the case.

I always seemed to spout out things I never wanted to say whenever I was around him. It was like being in his presence automatically malfunctioned my brain-to-mouth filter. It was absolutely horrifying.

Slanting his eyes over to meet mine, Shiki didn't say anything as he scrutinized me with analytically impassive eyes. I didn't know why he was looking at me like that, and my features rearranged themselves into a mild scowl before I even knew what I was doing. I felt like he was trying to gauge my reaction or something, to see if I meant what I said.

Eventually, though, self-consciousness caught up with me and I forced myself to turn my head away. I felt so uneasy, being stared at intently by him. Undoubtedly, I couldn't match up to a vampire's beauty standards. I wasn't saying that I was absolutely hideous, but I wasn't vampire-pretty either. And even though I hadn't cared all that much when he stared at me before, when he did it now, I was always acutely aware of my flaws.

He had remained silent for so long that I didn't even expect an answer from him anymore. I wanted to delude myself into thinking that I was content without an answer, but that wasn't the case. I had already blurted something like that out—the fact that he wasn't answering must've meant that it was even worse than I anticipated.

I bit back an aggravated sigh that would've been directed at myself if it had slipped. My eyes shifted up from the flat, grey square stones that lined the paths of the town and toward the trees and buildings. From what I could tell, we were still remotely isolated from all the other houses and shops. The trail that we were walking along was extremely spacious and extended all the way into the heart of the little town, naked trees lining either side of the path. Benches were stationed at consistent intervals for people to rest on.

It was beautiful. Even though the trees weren't full of luscious green leaves or cherry blossoms, even if they weren't the warm, intermingling colours of autumn or covered in white snow, they still made the road look like something out of a fairy tale.

Suddenly, Shiki began to stray away from the center of the path that we hogged up. Not that we were in the way of anyone, since practically nobody existed in the area, but nonetheless. I stared at the back of his head with a confused scowl, my eyebrows knitting together in perplexity. If he could feel my eyes burning into the back of his head, he didn't let it affect him.

I followed after him as he digressed off to the side towards a bench that was close. Was he tired? "Shiki?"

"It's quiet here," was his simple response. He sat himself down on the wooden bench with ease, tilting his head up to stare at me when I didn't follow suit. His eyebrow lifted in an almost nonexistent motion, as if he was challenging me to sit.

"It's quiet everywhere," I retorted. I didn't plan to comply and rest with him on the bench—I felt like I needed more space between us. I needed to be distanced from him and allowed to cool down, because I could've sworn I was burning. But when I was about to step away, I realized that he was still holding onto my hand.

I didn't want to have that warmth disappear. I didn't want to let the dream of being something more than friends, more than family, fade. I knew that it wasn't reality, and I knew that it was stupid of me to hope or dream, but I couldn't help it. As long as I knew that it was simply a fantasy, it was okay to just let myself skim it with my fingertips, wasn't it? It wasn't as if I was drowning myself in it and letting go of the real world.

For just a few more minutes, I wanted to live in a lie.

And so, as pathetic as it sounds, I slowly lowered myself onto the bench next to him. Our hands, which were cold but also not, lay resting together in the small bit of space that was between us. The way my fingers folded over the curve of his hand seemed so fascinating to me. It seemed so—so—I couldn't even find a word to describe it. All I knew was that it made my heart explode with warmth and fuzzy feelings, like fizzy candies were what created my entire chest.

And I also knew that I never wanted that feeling to end.

Heartbeats thudded by, followed by frequent exhales of white wisps. The frown was still playing on my lips when I glimpsed at Shiki from my peripheral vision, wondering what we were doing. If all we were going to do was sit here and be silent, we were being morons and wasting time.

The maroon-haired model inhaled more deeply than usual, letting his eyelids flutter over his pale orbs. I watched him carefully, noticing that he was holding his breath for a while before exhaling more noisily than he normally would've.

He kept his eyes closed as he murmured, "It matters because I care."

My heart froze in my chest for a moment before it restarted again rapidly, tripping over itself and stumbling. The beating was so hectic that it almost hurt. A million thoughts raced through my mind, and all of them were questions about those five little words. They could mean so many versatile things. I didn't want to misunderstand what he meant and then end up looking like a complete and utter idiot, but at the same time, I felt like my mouth was glued shut so I couldn't ask.

I settled for merely gaping at him for a while as I tried to find my voice. He kept his head straight, his eyes still closed serenely. If I didn't know any better, I would've assumed he had fallen asleep. My mouth kept opening and closing, and I scowled deeply at myself.

Eventually, I managed to choke out, "What exactly do you care about?"

Slowly, his eyes began to slide open. In my mind, it all happened in slow motion, but even so, my emotions whirled around me so fast they could've created tornadoes that had already traveled halfway across the world.

"You," he said quietly. "I care about _you_."

He didn't look at me. He just blinked once, leisurely, like he had all the time in the world. His eyes fell from straight ahead of him to the floor, but it didn't seem like he was embarrassed. He just seemed pensive. His tone hadn't been laced with affection or fondness or anything like that, but I couldn't say that it was completely void of emotions, either.

There was something in his voice that made what he said seem so meaningful.

The words seared me from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair.

For the second time within ten minutes, my jaw hung open before I snapped it shut quickly, only to have it unhinge and fall open again. I didn't know what to say to something like that—his words hit me like a rhino had just rammed into me. I was left winded, breathless, and just a tiny bit dazed. My brain wasn't able to fully register the sheer amount of different implications his words could mean. The wheels in my mind were turning so fast that I was sure they would break down and pop apart soon.

When a bubble of hope formed along the surface of my befuddlement and shock, a stricter, more reasonable part of me popped it instantly. This part of me, the one that was chained to reality, reminded me that I shouldn't think too deeply about it, that he didn't mean it in the way that I thought—_hoped_—he meant it. It would be foolish of me to get my expectations up for something and then let them get crushed when it could've been avoided all along. So, even though that little miniscule portion of me that wished for my daydreams to become reality wouldn't disappear, I shoved all those thoughts into the walls of my mind, making them as flat and thin and nonexistent as possible.

Carefully, I inquired, "_What_?"

"I care about you," he repeated. Like it didn't matter. Like it was something he could say to anyone.

My eyes narrowed. The hand that toyed with my heart made each beat painful, and the bitterness I felt started to touch the brims. My voice was skeptical as I asked, "_Why_?"

"What do you mean?" And finally, finally, he turned and met my eyes. There was a slight downward slant of his lips as his eyes, which seemed a bit colder than usual, met mine. His posture had stiffened, his features tightening mildly. It was an expression that baffled me, because I didn't understand what I had said or done. His countenance had morphed in just a heartbeat.

Grimacing at the look on his face, I changed what I originally wanted to ask. "What's up with the look you're giving me?"

He tried to play dumb. Voice apathetic, he inquired, "What look?" But his head didn't tilt, not even just slightly. He obviously knew that he had a different kind of expression adorning his features.

"You look angry." I didn't even realize that was what his expression meant until the words left my lips. Realization slapped me nice and hard in the face, and my mouth parted a bit in surprise at my own revelation.

As if I needed to say it knowing what I was _actually_ saying, I repeated in an incredulous voice, "You look _angry_."

"Mm," was his noncommittal response. He stared at me with his beautiful, yet slightly frosted sapphire eyes, like he was trying to convey something to me. Yet with such a thick shield covering his pale orbs, how could he even expect to have the message leave his body?

"_Why_?" The incredulity of it all wouldn't leave my voice as I stared back at him, disbelief etched along my features.

His lips thinned for a second before he let out a soft sigh. "How can you be so ignorant?"

"_What _did you just say?" I demanded, voice indignant and defiant. I found myself glowering at him as I forced through clenched teeth, "I'm not ignorant."

"You are," he retorted impassively.

"Where the hell did that even _come_ from?" I scowled deeply at him. He thought _I_ was ignorant? He needed someone to shove a mirror in his face and let him see his own reflection, because the maroon-haired model didn't even have a single goddamn _clue _how he made me feel.

One of his eyebrows raised a fraction, but it was noticeable. It had been such a long time since I had seen him do that—it startled me a bit. "You haven't realized it yet."

My eyebrows drew together. "And what exactly have I not realized yet?"

"And this, Sasaki, is precisely why you're ignorant," he replied. Shiki sighed again, and then his body began to relax, his expression softening. I could only scrutinize him in bewilderment, baffled by his abrupt and sudden changes. I wasn't keeping up with him at all, and it irritated me.

"It would be nice if you could just _explain it to me_." The impatience coated my words so thickly that they dripped with it.

"I did." His voice was calm, smooth, unfazed. "I told you that I care about you."

"_Why_?" Aggravation began seeping in at this point.

Almost as if he was _trying _to infuriate me, the expressionless vampire lifted his shoulders into a small shrug. His eyes flickered away from mine as he answered, "I don't know."

"How can you _not_—" I bit down hard on my tongue. Why was he doing this? Why was he wagging some kind of precious treasure in my face and then pulling it away every time I tried to touch it? It was beyond angering, and despite everything I felt for him, all I wanted to do was grab him by the lapels of his jacket and threaten him into spilling his guts out.

As much as it terrified me to know that he might possibly not have even _thought _of me as being special to him, it was also equally petrifying to know that maybe he _did_, and I was missing out on a chance that I could never get back.

"It's everything," he practically mumbled. "Everything about you is intriguing."

"What, because I have a legendary sorceress inside of me?" Anger dressed my words. I was clenching my free hand so hard that my knuckles were white, and I felt like if I tightened my hold even a little bit, I would be breaking fingers.

The reason he cared about me was because I was _fascinating _to him? Because I was something he could look at and admire and probe apart for his own entertainment?

This time, I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from blurting everything out. My eyebrows were pulled so close together that I could've sworn they formed a single line. I knew that I was using anger to coat over my hurt, but I couldn't help it. I'd rather have him think that I was super pissed off rather than incredibly upset by his words.

Even through my hurt and my fury, a part of me knew that he didn't mean it like that. Shiki wasn't the type of person who would play with other people for his own amusement, or would find joy in doing any of that. I knew that he must've meant it in another way—one that was warmer, kinder. Surely he meant it in a positive, dignified sort of way.

But negative emotions were so much easier to give into than positive ones.

Somehow, Shiki seemed to see right through me. The way his expression didn't even twitch at the tone I used, the way his eyes remained carefully blank like they always were, the way he didn't tense. It was like he had been expecting my response, like he had predicted it.

And I found my throat closing up a bit, because _did he really know me that well despite all the defenses I put around myself_?

"Sasaki." His voice was one you could consider gentle, soft. For someone like him, at least. I didn't know why he sounded like that, why he was _looking _at me like that.

I set my jaw and clenched my teeth, because it scared me. That kind of look absolutely terrified me.

And I found myself stammering. "W-What?"

His hand tightened faintly around mine, causing my eyes to widen a fraction and my heart to trip over its own beats. He leaned in just a little bit, like he wanted to share a secret. I could _almost_ see his sky eyes twinkling, see his lips curl into a ghost of a smirk. I wished to every star in the entire universe that what I was seeing _wasn't _just an illusion, that I wasn't just creating a false image of him inside my head, because even though it seemed so completely and utterly impossible, he looked more beautiful than he ever did before.

If I could've, I would've frozen time.

Instead, I imprinted his expression into my mind. I burned it, seared it, _welded _it into my memory. I didn't ever want to forget the look he had on his face right now. I didn't ever want to have this image of him fade or blur or fray at the edges. I wanted to be able to close my eyes and have him, as he was right now, painted on the back of my eyelids like I had taken a photo of him.

Because, honestly, I didn't think I'd ever see him show me anything other than apathy. And Shiki right now? He seemed almost...  
_  
Playful. _

Rather than replying, Shiki merely continued gazing at me with that expression that could've been someone else's, but I knew that it wasn't. It was just a side of him I had never seen before—a side of him that he kept locked up, even now. He was just letting the surface of how he used to be show, of how he _really _was.

And even though neither one of us said anything, I understood.

Before I could stop myself, my hand tentatively squeezed his, my tensed, angry posture relaxing. And I had no idea when we managed to get so close to each other, but as I closed my eyes and leaned my head forward just a little bit, I felt our foreheads delicately touching. His wavy strands of maroon tickled my own obsidian locks, and I let out a long breath that I didn't even know I had been holding.

I found myself stupidly thinking, "_If only this moment could last forever."_

For a while, neither one of us said anything or moved. We merely stayed that way, silent and lost in our own thoughts. I didn't know what he was thinking about, but I knew that I was trying to remember everything about this moment. He was so close, so incredibly close—I could feel every movement he made, feel the swaying of his hair when the wind played with it. I could almost hear his heartbeat.

We were motionless for minutes upon minutes, but it still felt like it had only been a second when Shiki broke the silence quietly. "Sasaki."

My attempts to stop the sigh from leaving my lips were futile, because I ended up exhaling anyway. I didn't open my eyes, because I felt like if I did, this moment would be lost. This small world that we had created together would be shattered.

There was no bite in my voice as I asked, in the same tone of voice he did, "What?"

"Why did you come here?" Shiki inquired. I could almost feel his words touch my face—that was how close we were. That was how much distance was still between us. And it petrified me to realize that I wanted nothing more than the distance to vanish.

This time, I successfully bit down my sigh. Instead, I answered honestly and as nonchalantly as possible, "Rima-senpai called, saying you weren't answering her calls." I paused briefly. "Why didn't you?"

"The battery died," was his simple, common answer.

"You just arrived," I remarked, remembering how he had been carrying his luggage when he appeared to save me earlier. "You're a day or two late. Where did you go?"

I felt him shifting, his head tilting a little bit. A strand of hair fell and tickled my temple, and I had absolutely no idea whether it was his or mine.

"I took a detour," he replied calmly, like he didn't see anything wrong. As if expecting me to ask him about why he did that and decided not to tell anyone like an _idiot_, he elaborated, "A grandma had gotten lost while looking for her grandson's house. It happened to be in a town I had never visited, so I stayed for a bit after escorting her."

"And your phone was dead the whole time." It didn't come out as a question, but a statement. He knew that I was unconvinced.

Undeterred by my dubious tone, he answered, "Yes."

I allowed myself a few seconds to gather all my thoughts and emotions together. After all, I had traveled all the way here, worried sick about him, and he was going to tell me that the reason he hadn't answered his calls was because his battery had died? Did he have even the slightest idea of how worried I had been, how frantic? The thought of cussing at him crossed my mind, but I pressed my lips firmly together to keep the profanities from slipping out.

Because even though I was angry at him, I was also so, _so _relieved.

The tightness in my chest had disappeared when I saw him, unharmed and unscathed. I felt like the entire world had brightened. My shoulders no longer felt like they were being crushed by the weight of a falling sky, and the painful knots that had tightened in my stomach had disappeared. My heart didn't carry some kind of dreadful weight anymore—it was like I had been set free.

"You're an idiot," I managed to get out. The words trembled slightly, and I had to swallow loudly in order to try and push down the lump that had formed in my throat. The venom that I had tried injecting in my voice didn't even make it past the first centimeter of my vocal cords.

"Why?" That clueless tone.

"Do you have _any_ idea how worried I was?" I demanded fiercely, my eyebrows furrowing together as my eyes flashed open. Lavender clashed with light sapphire, and I almost forgot what I wanted to say. _Almost. _"I got up off my ass and tried to get here as fast as I could! I was wondering what had happened to you—what if you were hurt or what if you had gotten your faced smashed in?! What if your fans had attacked you and dragged you off somewhere or what if—"

His hand squeezing mine cut me off, and I inhaled sharply in an attempt to breathe properly.

"Thank you," he murmured. His eyes were soft but intense as they looked into mine. I didn't have a single clue why he was looking at me with that kind of expression on his face, that kind of look in his eyes. It made me feel so incredibly anxious. I wanted to fidget with something.

I also wanted to roll my eyes and slap myself right on the cheek, because _god_—why was I letting him affect me so much? It was so pathetic, and I knew it.

"For what?" I forced a scoff, my eyes breaking from his to shift over to the side. Looking at him created landslides inside of me.

"Worrying," he replied simply.

Unable to find an answer for that, I remained silent. There were so many questions that I wanted to ask him, so many muddled facts that I wanted him to clear up. But each and every time they got to the tip of my tongue, they disappeared. I didn't know how to phrase things nicely or in a less offensive manner—I didn't know how to "soften the blow" for him, because I knew that no matter how apathetic he would make himself come off to be, it would hurt him on the inside, even if it was only a little bit.

He seemed to understand my internal suffering, because he encouraged flatly, "I don't bite, Sasaki."

"That's not what I'm worried about," I retorted swiftly. Pausing for a moment as hesitation overcame me, I snuck a glance at him to make sure he was honestly going to be okay if I asked him something personal.

Shiki stared back at me, silently waiting for me to speak. His face was still somehow softened, his features looking warmer. He seemed more youthful, more _real _in a way that I couldn't even hope to explain. Seeing myself reflected in his pale cerulean eyes, I almost wanted to flinch away—I looked so plain in comparison, much less spectacular than he was. Much less beautiful or dazzling.

"Your mom..." I trailed off when he tensed slightly, his hand tightening a bit around mine before loosening just as fast. I observed him cautiously, not wanting to step all over his nerves. His eyes clouded over a bit, but they didn't close up. "What exactly happened?"

His eyes fell a bit to stare down at something between us that wasn't there. He didn't utter a single word for a few heartbeats. I wanted to take it back and tell him it was okay and that I was being nosy, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to tell him it was okay to close himself off again, to keep everything hidden from me.

Because even though it might hurt him to talk about it, I wanted to know. I wanted to get closer to him, to understand him more.

I wanted him to _trust me. _I wanted him to _let me in. _

"After having an affair with Rido-sama," Shiki eventually started slowly, "her mental state went haywire."

"You mean 'Otou-san,'" I corrected plainly. "He was a crappy dad, and I think he's a complete and utter bastard that deserves to rot in hell, but he's still your dad. And you should be able to address him as such. Unless, of course, you'd rather not be associated with someone like him."

"I don't consider him my father." His eyes shifted a bit as he said those words.

"Is that so?" I paused for a second. "Addressing him as 'Rido-sama' seems a bit over the top, though. After all, you're not exactly his underling. The fact that you're addressing him so formally makes it seem like you think he's superior to you even though he's clearly an asshole and you're clearly not."

Shiki blinked at me for a moment. "He's a Pure—"

"And?" I interrupted, already knowing what he was going to say. I scowled and said, "You're close enough to one to not call him something like 'Rido-sama.'"

Shaking his head, Shiki objected impassively, "I'm not at all close to one."

"Yes you are," I disagreed. "Closer than all the other aristocrats, at least."

"It doesn't mean anything," he retorted.

"It means _a lot,_" I protested through gritted teeth. I stared at him hard, my eyebrows pulled together tightly. "You need to stop regarding yourself so lowly. You need to understand that there's a difference between infuriating modesty and stupid degradation of yourself."

The maroon-haired model looked like he wanted to say something, but he thought better of it at the last moment and ended up swallowing his words. Despite the emotionless face he still had plastered on, I knew he was incredibly unconvinced and dubious about what I said. He stayed quiet for a few moments, watching me carefully while I stared back at him almost challengingly.

Eventually, he just sighed softly. If I didn't know him better, I would've thought it was an exhale of resignation. But it was him deciding he was going to change the subject and put that topic aside for a later time, so he could mull over it and hope that I'd forget. I didn't want to burst his bubble and tell him I wouldn't ever forget, though. That aspect of him was so prominent—he always looked down on himself, always let others push him around. It was maddening to watch.

Speaking before he could, I let the subject slide for now. Instead, I put us back on track before I had unintentionally caused our discussion to digress. "Your mom hates Rido?"

"More than anything," he confirmed.

I didn't need to ask him why. It wasn't exactly a widespread fact, but I was one of the couple of people that knew Shiki was Rido's son. His _illegitimate _son. It wasn't hard to imagine why his mother would hate the Kuran Pureblood. In a way, he had ruined her world. Surely, she had wanted a happy family. She had expected him to be a fatherly figure for Shiki, to be her husband and love them both.

But she didn't get any of that.

He didn't take care of them the way she had expected him to. Rido had left them to fend for themselves—had tossed them away easily without even a backward glance.

What hurt her the most was probably the fact that he never really _loved _her.

Absentmindedly, I closed my eyes again and sighed. Everything felt heavy again. Maybe it was because I felt like I could understand where she was coming from. After all, I was already such a mess due to Shiki, and nothing had even happened between us. I had never imagined him loving me and holding me gently, or gotten far enough to imagine a future ahead of us with a family—I never let myself get that far in my daydreams. I knew that I would only be crushed to pieces in the end, so I didn't allow myself to try and destroy myself more than that.

"What's wrong?" His softly spoken words, despite so nonchalant, seemed so warm somehow.

Shaking my head, I opened my eyes to look at him again. Something tightened in my throat, my stomach twisting painfully. There was a weight pressing on my chest that was almost too painful to bear, because was he like this because of her? Because of his family?

Before I could stop myself, my spare hand came up to lightly touch his cheek. He didn't bat an eyelash at the contact, but I wanted to believe I wasn't imagining him leaning just slightly, in the most miniscule fashion, into my palm.

"Is it because of your family that you're like this?" It came out almost in a whisper.

"What am I like, Sasaki?" His eyes seemed sad this time. So, so sad. They were rimmed with misery and despair, with sorrow and agony and exhaustion. I wanted to make it all go away, but I didn't know how to. I didn't even know how to fix _myself_, so how could I possibly fix _him_?

"Reserved, nonchalant, seemingly unfazed," I listed. I paused for a brief second before adding quietly, "Distant."

"Is that so?" It was a noncommittal remark. His eyes fell from mine for a moment, and I was suddenly aware of how intimate our position was. Our foreheads were still touching, our hands still holding one another's. My hand rested along his cheek, staying there like it was the most natural thing in the entire world. Upon noticing, I almost wanted to retract it and place it in my lap, but it felt too awkward to suddenly pull away.

It made me feel like I was abandoning him.

So instead of moving it away, I let it stay there. His cheek was cool, but I knew that my hand was, too. His cheeks were tainted with a delicate shade of pink from the cold, his nose the same tint of crimson. Even now, so casually dressed and hair untamed, face free of anything they could even try to put on him, he looked like he was ready for the best photoshoot any photographer had ever seen in their life.

We were so close, I was able to see just how clear his eyes were. I was able to see the beautiful shade of pale blue they were, the way darker blue flecks rimmed his pupils and even lighter ones—flecks that were almost white—blended in with the darker ones. Tiny black and gold specks seemed to dance around as well, and I couldn't help but notice that the ends of his irises were a faintly darker shade of cerulean than the rest. His eyes were absolutely breathtaking, and so incredibly captivating. Although they initially just looked azure, there were actually so many other colours that blended together.

They were fascinating, beautiful, gorgeous. _He _was fascinating, beautiful... gorgeous.

I was broken out of my thoughts again when he started speaking, his voice quiet and bordering on wistful. "It was simply for convenience's sake at first. The less volatile I was, the less she was." He let a pregnant pause settle comfortably before breaking it, his eyes still downcast. "It became a habit. Then it somehow evolved into... _Me_."

"But this isn't you," I told him as gently as I could, though I was still trying to keep my tone firm. I put a bit more pressure in my grip on him, and he understood, because he looked up at me. He seemed so confused, so upset, so... _lost_. His eyes looked like they were breaking, and underneath it all was the idea that he had been forsaken by everyone—by his father, his mother, his relatives, but most importantly...

He thought he had forsaken _himself_.

Stinging sensations invaded the back of my eyes. It was a feeling that I had gotten used to over the past few days. I understood what it meant, what was about to happen. And I willed with all my might that I would _not _cry in front of him.

Forcing the words out through my closing throat, I continued, "I can tell, Shiki. You're not as uncaring as you make yourself out to be. You want to get involved with others, you want to help people, you want to smile and laugh and not feel like it's _wrong_. And it's not. It's not a crime to be happy and _show it_. I want to see you smile," I admitted honestly, feeling my face warm a bit. It had nothing to do with the cold, either. "I want to hear you laughing, and I want to see you joke around and tease people. I want you to stand up for yourself. None of this stuff is wrong, Shiki. None of this stuff makes you a bad person or a bad son."

"I haven't done any of those things in years," he murmured. His lips thinned, and he confessed, "I don't think I remember how."

Shaking my head, I protested, "You always look close to it. There are times when I feel like I'm about to see you smile, or like you want to laugh. You're just too scared to do it. You don't want to leave the shell you've created for yourself. You _know_ that it's not really you—the person whose facial expression never changes. It's just that you've been wearing the damn mask for so long, sometimes you get confused about who you really are. But I can tell you right here, right now, that the person who acts like nothing's ever wrong is _not _really you."

His head tilted a bit. "Then..." he shut his eyes softly, his eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones as he sighed almost inaudibly. "Who am I?"

My hand gripped his tighter, like I was worried he would disappear if I didn't hold onto him. "The person who became my friend even though you weren't supposed to, who had taught me more about myself than I ever could've imagined knowing, who made me feel safe and secure. You're the person who told me he'd save me when I thought nobody in the world would, who danced with me and listened to me and let me cry all over you. You're the person who stayed with me without saying anything when I fell apart, even though all I did was push you away and yell at you. The person right here, looking so lost and so distressed but still so warm—this is you."

Silence.

A breeze blew by, playing with our hair. Despite the fact that I _knew _I was cold, I still felt like a fire was raging on inside of me. From my head down to my toes, I felt like I had been filled with a warm, tingling liquid that fuzzed up pleasantly.

I wondered what he was thinking about right now, how he was feeling. I wondered if he was taking what I said to heart, if anything inside of him changed. I was embarrassed at what I had said—it was so cheesy and so corny. It was nothing like what I would've normally said, and a part of me was mortified that he was able to get me to say such a gooey speech. Another part of me was proud, though. I felt like I had said something worth the humiliation, something that had the power to maybe change how he saw things, and that was why I felt pride it my words.

I was so torn, I didn't even know what to think anymore.

"Thank you," he eventually breathed. He opened his eyes. They seemed brighter now. In fact, his entire face seemed more at peace, more serene. He looked more relaxed, more comfortable. His expression was less cold, less apathetic. Somehow, even though he still looked relatively nonchalant—there was no doubt he wouldn't be able to just change and express his emotions freely—he looked gentler.

Face still warm, I couldn't meet his—dare I wish—_tender _gaze. "I didn't do anything."

He shook his head faintly, the tips of his hair brushing along my face and my hair. "You're like a hero."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked him, frowning. "I'm not heroic or anything at all. I don't have super noble morals and values, and I don't go around saving people."

He looked at me solemnly, his voice a murmur. "You saved me."

Taken aback and knocked speechless, I could only open and close my mouth as I gaped at him, struggling to find words to say. The first thing I choked out was, "You've got it wrong. _You_ saved _me_."

That ghost of a smile on his face that made me want to smile too was on his face as he said, "I suppose this means we saved _each_ _other_."

And, looking at one another through the small gap between us, the words rang and resounded like bells reciting a vow.

* * *

**A/N: **

MNNURGH, THE FLUFF IN THIS CHAPTERRRRRRRR! -DIESDIESDIES- During this entire chapter, you have NO idea how much I wanted to just make Shiki grab Riku and kiss her senseless. The urge to do that was devastating. You guys have absolutely no clue just how much self-control I had to have in order to stop him. ASDFGHGJKL.

Hopefully, all the fluff and cuteness and ShikixRiku moments in this chapter will make you guys forgive me for my late update? OTL.

I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, spelling errors, and OOCness that may have occurred within the chapter this time!

SPECIAL THANKS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS;

**ZabuzasGirl, KimKat19, Ficchii, XxKnightWingxX, XxblackpapermoonxX, Trifles, XXTakaraXX, MaMZg67, luvJesusInHeavn, Shekame, AliceMarieSwan, Hikari-Suzume, fantasyblast, Princesa de la Luna, XxXAkumaNoTenshiXxX, Guest, Kurii, YOU SHOULD KNOW ( Astin ), PerkyTheGingerDinosaur, xXMizukiXx, j anne m0on, TheBrokenReflection, Anemos, 95LACKYA, Ember-Morinozuka, ElenaFromItaly, Mybfflisazombie, Sh3lby, Lady Syndra, and SugarFlowers**

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS! It means so much to me. Seriously. -heartheartheart- -insert "lessthanthree"-

Also, thank you to everyone who alerted and favourited! I'm thankful! (x

As always, it's time for... RESPONSES!

To **XxblackpapermoonxX**;

ASDFGHJKL! NOOO! I don't plan on abandoning Shitsuren anytime soon! And trust me, I won't ever be able to forget about my fanfics when I have such lovely readers and friends that are waiting for me to update! Please don't worry! My updates might be a bit late, but I won't stop updating until I've finished! (x  
HAHA. Well, this entire chapter is centered around Shiki and Riku, so I hope that it's enough to satisfy you for a little while! The next chapter should be full of them, too. HOHOHO!  
Thank you for always supporting me and caring so much about my work! It means so much that you take the time to review and share you thoughts with me! I hope that you liked the latest chapter! (x

To **Shekame**;

NBPERNSBPAWRB, aww, thank you! Half the time, I think it annoys a lot of people because then they needa scroll through the walls of text to try and find their names or to read the ending of my author's note or something. OTL. And I feel bad when I skip out on people... ASDFGJKL. I'm just happy that you guys leave me reviews and tell me your thoughts! I think it's the least I can do! Rather than thanking me, I should really be thanking YOU guys for taking the time to read what I write! I'm so thankful to everyone... And besides, it's fun getting to know you guys! (x  
And oh wow, was I really? HAHA. School is definitely a thorn in everyone's side. Authors and readers alike. But it's okay! Don't worry; I'm sure that a lot of the stories you're reading are just on temporary hiatus or something. I know that I'm not going to leaving Shitsuren unfinished! It might take me a while, but I'm definitely going to change the status from "in progress" to "complete" one day! I hope that you'll be able to stick with me until then. xP  
HAHA. Well, I hope that this chapter didn't disappoint you! It wasn't exactly a rush order, but it's a bit shorter than my usual chapters! I'm sorry about that, but I really wanted to update before the year ended! xD  
You were, like, spot-on with your predictions. I DON'T EVEN. you're like some mastermind genius who reads minds, I swear. ;O  
Thank you so much for taking the time ( like you always seem to do, Shekame ) to read Shitsuren and drop me a review! It means so much to me, and I love hearing from you! I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapterrrr! ;D

To **XxXAkumaNoTenshiXxX**;

You're too kinddd! If you keep praising me like this, my ego will just swell and burst, I swear. LOL. And no, it's fine! You're adorable. HAHA. Whenever I read your reviews, I always end up grinning like an idiot or laughing... like an idiot. BUT STILL! (x  
Heart-to-hearts are so hard for people who try to be emotionless! ASNBOANWEPB. Even so, I hope I didn't do a horrible job at it. -SHOT-  
Thank youuuuuuu. Your compliments kill meeee.  
But I honestly think that you could write something and post it on FFnet, too! I think that it's important to post it up if you want to develop your own writing because sometimes, people give you really good advice and criticism, and then you grow as a writer. xD And besides, it's really fun! It makes me feel like I'm an actual writer. HOHOHO. (x Posting my work online gives me motivation to actually finish my work, because then I know people are waiting for me. xD If you have a problem with finishing your work, then... TA-DAAA! (:  
To be honest, I laughed when I was editing my chapter. HAHA. I'm glad that you love her personalityyyy! Her antagonistic side popped up in that moment. xD  
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review for meee! It means a lot! I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter! (:

To **Kurii**;

For a second, when I read the first sentence of your story, I was stunned 'cause I thought you meant it in a negative way. ASDFGHJKL. Then I continued reading and I was like, ";OOO! -tears up and is so touched- xD  
I'm so happy that my fanfic makes YOU happy! XD LMAOOO. You take screenies of all your favourite scenes? Man, which scenes did you take screenies of? LOLLL. I'm so curious now! I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, THOUGH. ALL THESE SHIKI FEELS. ASDFGHJKL. I had so many of "BNOERNBPWANBPEWBN SHIKIIIIIIIII" moments when I was writing this chapter of Shitsuren. Seriously. I don't even. xD  
Riku and SHiki are both opening up with this chapter! HOHOHOOOO! I'm so excited. LOL. I can't believe I have ShikixRiku shippers. -starry eyed- I never expected people to love Riku and Shiki together so much! I mean, Rima looks pretty good with Shiki, broo.  
Aw, shucksssss. -blushes- You flatter me too much! YOU'RE the awesome one here! I love how you're so enthusiastic and happy and... ASNVONEWABONWEB. I can't even explain it. But you make me happy. LOL. I'm glad that you loved the last chapter so muchhhhh!  
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANNN. That's EXACTLY what I was thinking when I was making Shiki talk about his mom and his family! IT JUST CREATES SOME KIND OF BOND, RIGHT? My goodness! We have the same kind of mindset hereeee! -DIES- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYY. LOL. Because even though it was an entire chapter, they didn't really even talk about half of what I wanted them to! I was debating on whether to make Riku ask Shiki or not... -sigh- It was a tough decision, but I ended up making her ask. HAHA. It turned out rather well, if you ask me. But then again, I'm the biased author, sooooo... -smiles sheepishly-  
They're contact with Rima won't be super interesting... I think. LOL. I honestly have no idea how that's gonna go down.  
RIKU DOES NOT SEE THIS AS A DATEEE. LOL. IF ONLY SHE WOULD! Dude, the thought doesn't even cross her mind! She's so, "WHAT IS HE DOING? WHAT DO I SAY? WHY IS HE HOLDING MY HAND EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T FEEL ANYTHING FOR ME?" to even consider it as being a date! Her obliviousness is crazy and frustratingggg. XD To be honest, though, I have no idea if this is a Sunday or not. WE COULD JUST SAY IT IS. LOL. -isn't super organized and detailed about things like days- OTL.  
AHMYGOD. I'm waiting for that day to come, too... I think that I already have a vague idea of when that's gonna happen, though. HAHA. I'M SO EXCITED TO WRITE ABOUT THAT. DEAR LORD. It creates some kind of sweet intimacy or something, right? RIGHT? Because that's how I feel. And I'm dying to make Riku and Shiki feel that kind of intimacy. xDDD  
Thank youuu! Good luck to you too! Make sure you don't work too hard, though! You need to take care of yourself as well! Let us survive this year togetherrrrr! I'm sure you'll be able to hold on! -brings out pompoms and does a cheer for you, too- GANBATTEEEEEEE! (:  
My inspiration and motivation for Shitsuren? LOL. Well, in the beginning, I started this fanfic 'cause I really loved Shiki. He wasn't shown much, and I hated that. xD So I decided to write a fanfic about him. Rima wasn't shown much back then, either, though. I had no idea how either of them really acted. So I was like, "OKAY, FINE! I'LL MAKE MY OWN CHARACTER!" Right now, though, I just get urges to write. HAHA. I have scenes in my head of how I want things to go ( they just kind of hit me out of nowhere during the most random times ) and I just write. Half the time, things don't go as planned because the characters just kinda control the flow of the story, y'know what I mean? I'M SORRY. THIS IS A HORRIBLE ANSWER. DEAR LORD. OTL.  
Nono! I love long reviews because then I get to know more about you and hear more of your thoughts! And besides, you're absolutely lovely. (: It's an amazing pleasure to hear from you!  
Thank you so much for your awesomesauce review and for reading my work! I hope to hear from you again, and that you enjoyed the latest chapter of Shitsuren! (x

To **YOU SHOULD KNOW ( ASTIN )**;

THESE SHIKI AND RIKU FEELSSSSS. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. Man, I die of my Shiki feels. All the time. ASDFGHJKL.  
LMAO. Did you even send me the link to your pimp post? I don't even remember. -SLAPPED- I WANT TO SEE THAT STUFF, THOUGH. LOL. IT SOUNDS SO FLATTERING!  
ASDNBIWAENBOEWB. LOLLLL. It's hilarious how you try to always take the hundredth review each time! xD It's okay, though. You don't need to be sorry! Some other people need to get the review and special mention, toooooo! (x Although I honestly appreciate how you try. LOL.  
Ohmy. That would be so freakin' adorable! BUT I CAN'T. I COULDN'T. IT WAS LIKE... I CAN'T MAKE SHIKI DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT. -DIES- B-But... At least they're kinda close? I MEAN, THEIR FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING. YOU CAN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT, RIGHT? RIGHT? Not yet, at least. -SHOT- I hope that it satisfied you... At least a little? OTL.  
SO MUCH SHIKIXRIKU IN THIS CHAPTER. ARGH. ALL THESE FEELS. I wanted to make him kiss her. Dear lord, you have no idea. ASDFGGJKL. I love how he rescued her in the last chapter, though. -sighs dreamily- It was so shoujo-ish, though. HAHA.  
YESSS, I KNEW IT WAS YOU! LOL. From the way you type and the 600th review thing, I definitely knew! HAHA.  
Thank you so much for being a lovely faithful reader and reviewerrrrrr! It makes me happy! I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter, and that your flailing is still working! XD

To** PerkyTheGingerDinosaur**;

IS THAT SOOO? Well, I dedicated this entire chapter to ShikixRiku fluff! HAH! How's THAT for awesome? -evil mad scientist laugh- xD  
Thank you! And LOOOOOOL! I'm glad that you love Riku's character so much! It makes me happy to know that! Although I'm not quite sure if it's a good thing to try and be so apathetic. xD  
Oh no. Are we going to get into a talk about Yuuki? LOL. Because I can rage for hours about her. -SHOT- I can't even explain this hate for her. ASDFGHJKL. AND I KNOW. DEAR LORD. SHE'S USELESS AND SHE STEALS ALL THE MEN. HOW COULD SHEEEEE? LOL. Man, every single time I see VK update, I groan and I get mad. And then I put it off. And then when I DO read it, I flip tables and I have to go write my ZeroxOC fanfic to vent out all my anger and make Zero happy. LOL. -SHOTSHOTSHOT-  
YOU'VE READ THE CHAPTER BY NOW, RIGHT? AWEBPANWEPBNEWAPVNPEWV. NO WORDS CAN EXPLAIN HOW I FELT. -FLIPS TABLES A MILLION TIMES-  
Nono, thank YOUU for reading and supporting me all the time! It makes me so happy. And HAHA, it's the least I can do! Besides, it's fun getting to know everyone! (x  
Oh man. I never have cool dreams like that... I never dream much in general, actually. -sigh- It's a pity. I mean, some people get to dream about hot men and I... don't. -SOBS-  
LOL. SHE'S A JERK. I CAN'T EVEN. YUUKI NEEDS TO GET PUSHED OFF A-  
-CENSORED-  
Um. -innocent smile- (:  
HAHA, thank you so much for your amazing support and lovely reviews all the time! I'm so grateful! I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter of Shitsuren! (x

To **xXMizukiXx**;

Aw man, that didn't happen... BUT THERE WAS LOTS OF CUTE MOMENTS AND THEIR FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS AND- I hope that's okay for you! -SLAPPED- I'm sorry. But trust me. I wanted to make Shiki kiss her or something, BUT I JUST COULDN'T. IT WOULDN'T FIT. -SOBS-  
Yesss! FINALLY, right? And this chapter is when they finally open up a bit to each other. Sort of. YAY! Progress! (x  
ASDFGHJKL. I'm so happy that you're still reading despite the fact that I've gone over twenty chapters! HAHA. It makes me really happy to hear that! I feel so flattered and so special. XD Thank you for deciding to stick with me!  
Nono, thank YOU for reading! I'm glad that I somehow managed to make your day or give you a give or something! I hope that you'll be able to accept this chapter as my Christmas present to everyone even though it's late! OTL.  
Well, this came out much, MUCH later than I expected, but... I hope that you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for always supporting me! (:

To **j anne m0on**;

Well, thank you for deciding your first review would be one for me! I'm so happy and thankful! And, should I say "Welcome to FFnet"? xD And thank you so much for your compliments! (x  
I'm ecstatic to know that I made you smile with my writinggg! HAHA. I KNOW. YOU CAME WHEN THINGS GOT LOVEY DOVEY BETWEEN THEM! xD This update is a bit later than usual, but I still hope that you enjoyed it and consider it a present!  
Thank you for leaving me a review and telling me your thoughts! I'm so grateful! ;D

To **TheBrokenReflection**;

Congrats on getting your laptop back! HAHA. I assumed you'd have better things to do than read and review my work, but trust me, I'm so very thankful! (:  
ASDFWANBOWENAPVNEWAP. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Dear lord. I know what you mean! It's actually one of my pet-peeves when authors just rush right into the romance, because I'm like... "DIDN'T THEY JUST MEET TWO DAYS AGO?" and it doesn't work for me. ASDFGHJK. I'm glad that you like the way I'm pacing things! It's very reassuring, and it makes me feel more confident! I can't imagine Shiki rushing into a relationship, anyways. Or Riku. xD  
Oh god. I think that calling me a role model to all other VK writers is a bit too much! -TWITCHES, JOLTS, SPAZZES. ROLLS ON FLOOR AND DIES FROM TOO MUCH FLATTERY- LOLLLL.  
The talk between Shiki and Riku isn't over yet! It'll be continued in the next chapter and I plan to have them talk a lot more about stuff, so I hope that you look forward to that! HOHOHO. Who knows, maybe Rima DOES come up in the conversation! (x  
I'm glad that I was able to make you fall in love with Shiki and Zero! HAHA. To be honest, there are so many times I dream about them being real, too. It kills me on the inside to know they don't exist. ASDFGJKL. -SOBS-  
NSAEOBNPEWNABPEWBNOW. Thank you! You have absolutely no idea how much it means to me to have you tell me you're going to stick with me until the end! HAHA. I honestly can't express how grateful I am for my faithful readers and reviwers! And even though this chapter is much later than I would've liked, I hope that you still enjoyed it nonetheless! (x  
P.S. ASDGNOEWNBEWP. It pains me to write about them. Trust me. But I'm glad that you think it's a good thing! (x

To **Anemos**;

WELCOME BACK! HAHA. I'm glad to have you back on board! No worries; it's understandable. Life gets in everyone's way. I'm just happy to know that you're still reading my work. Seriously. (:  
I think you're the only person who said that the topic of conversation didn't matter at all! HAHA. The conversation between Shiki and Riku in this chapter was a bit short somehow despite the fact that the entire chapter was based around them, so it'll be continued in the chapter! YAY~  
And ahhh, yes! It's not exactly a spoiler or anything. But yeah, if Riku were to be turned into a vampire, she would still be Amaterasu's vessel just like how Aoi is still Akui's vessel despite being turned into a vampire. xP  
Nono, it's fine! To be honest, reading what you said about the presents and the symbolism was really interesting! It's awesome that you're sharing your thoughts with me. Their presents to each other have yet to be revealed. I can only hope that I don't disappoint you with what I have, though. OTL.  
I know what you mean. Sometimes it's so slow and you're like, "WHYYYYY?" but at the same time, it's impossible to fall in love right away. It's just... not realistic, I suppose. I wouldn't be able to consider it "love" at that point.  
Kaien. OHHH, KAIENNN. I love how he pushes them together. He's this amazing fatherly figure to Riku. And he definitely knows how they feel about one another. -sigh-  
And hmm... Well. I CAN'T SPOIL THE ENDING FOR YOU. WANEBONEWAPBNPWEB. THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE! So I guess you're stuck with me until the end in order to find out what really happens, yes? (x  
It's totally fine if your review was longer than intended! I love hearing your thoughts and such! HAHA. Happy late late late LATEE Halloween to you as well! And late Christmas, too! xD  
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review what I had written! It makes me feel all warm on the inside! I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter of Shitsuren! (x

To **95LACKYA**;

ASDFGHJKL, thank you! You flatter meeee. xD I'm glad that you love my stories, though! It makes me really happy. (x  
This update for Shitsuren is later than usual, so I'm sorry about that! I still hope you consider it a late present from me to you guys, though! OTL. And Heterochromia's the story that I update most often, so a chapter might be out sometime in early or mid-January! HAHA. I hope that you look forward to it!  
NONO, thank YOU for reading! It means a lot to me!  
LOL. Dear lord. I hope that you don't go too crazy or anything when I update like I know some people tell me they do. HAHA.  
Well, Shiki and Riku are really close in this chapter. Physically. xD And they got closer emotionally, just a little bit. I hope that's satisfactory! I wanted to make 'em kiss, but y'know. It's just not in character for them. -sigh- Sadly.  
THANK YOU SO MUCH! HAHA. You have no idea how much that means to me! And aw, shucks. -blushes- Your idol? That's a bit too much for me to handle! LOL. (x  
I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter! And thank you so much for reading and reviewing for me! ;D

To **Mybfflisazombie**;

LOL. ASEOBNPEWNBPWB. Trust me, I know EXACTLY what you mean! And a part of me is torn about how I want things to end, too! I just hope that you're not going to be disappointed with the ending I pick. OTL.  
The ShikixRiku moments... ALL MY FEELS. xD I love having small interactions between them, but lately I feel like I need to have a more prominent romantic scene or something. OTL. And ah, she reminds you of yourself? LOL. That's cute! I love Riku's flustered side and her sassy attitude. It makes me laugh and smile. I want to wince whenever she says mean things to people who care about her, too. But that's just how she is. -SHOT-  
Zero and Shiki are adorable together, if you ask me. LOL. And mm... To be honest, I think that I'm going to leave it as an open-ended thing. I don't want to focus on Yuuki at all in this story 'cause I hate her. A lot. And I don't want her to end up with Zero OR Kaname. And I don't wanna anger any readers who are Zeki fans of Yuuname fans or whatever the KanamexYuuki fandom is called. xD So yeah, you guys will be the ones who decide that, I guess. She'll end up with whoever you want her to, even though in my mind, she's dead and doesn't get either of them. -DIES-  
Thank you so much for dropping me a review and sharing your thoughts with me! It means a lot! I hope to hear from you more. And I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter of Shitsuren! (:

To **Sh3lby**;

I'm not mad at all! Please don't worry about it!I know that sometimes life gets in the way or something. HAHA. I'm just glad that you're still reading my stuff! You don't need to be sorry. xP  
I'm glad that I made you smile while reading the chapter! (x  
And REALLY? I feel like Shiki's mom is important because she's the person that raised Shiki, you know what I mean? And besides, she was mentioned in the anime, so I was like, "I THINK I SHOULD INCLUDE HER, TOO!" so TA-DAAAA! XD I'm so relieved to know that you think I captured her well, though! (x  
I finally updated, so I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter! Thank you so much for always supporting me and sharing your thoughts with me! (:

END OF RESPONSES.

DEAR LORDDDDDDD. YOU GUYSSSSS. I'm dying. LOL. So many responses to reviews! I hope that your eyes didn't bleed while reading through my walls of text! OTL. I'M SORRY. ASNBONAWEOBNWAPEBV.

Thank you to everyone who answered the question last time! So many people shared their thoughts with me, and so many of you guys were right! LOL. It makes me happy~ (x

This time's question is...

**QUESTION: What do you think about Shiki's reason for not arriving home on time and for not being able to answer his phone?**

Share your predictions and all your thoughts with me! I'm honestly SOOOO interested in hearing what you guys have to say about this! HAHA.

Like I said before, I'M SO SORRY FOR MY LATE UPDATE! I actually planned to update sometime in November, but it didn't happen. OTL. And then December came and I died and even though I'm on break, I feel like I don't have time to do ANYTHING. -sigh-

I hope that you guys can consider this a late present from me to all of you guys! Sorry it's not much, but it's really all I can do for you guys at the moment! OTL.

Also, I hope that you guys had a lovely Christmas ( if you celebrate it )! I hope that you got to spend lots of time with your family and your friends and that you smiled and laughed lots! I also hope you guys ate lots of yummy food ( FOOOOOOOOOOOD ) and that you guys got lots of presents! Or that your gifts didn't suck, at least. -SHOT- xD For those of you guys that DON'T celebrate Christmas, I still hope that you guys managed to have a wonderful day and that you still spent it with the people you care about the most! (x

It's almost New Years, and I'm sure that I won't be able to update before January first... SO, I'll say it to you guys a bit early: HAPPY NEW YEAAAAAAAAAAR! xD Or, well, SOON-TO-BE NEW YEARRRRRR! (x I hope that you guys have a blast, and that you guys start off the new year happily and with people you love!

I'll be in everyone's care again starting in January, so I hope that you guys all take care of me! (:

I'll try to update as soon as I can!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GUYSSSSSSSSSS! (x

XOXO,  
-EverlastingxSong-


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